The Courage to Be Seen: How to Lead Without the Mask After Trauma

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Even after healing, many of us still feel the pull to hide — to stay small, quiet, or polished. In this episode, Dr Nat Green explores the fear behind visibility and how Tall Poppy Syndrome keeps so many purpose-driven professionals from standing in their true power.

Full Show Notes:
In this heartfelt solo episode of Growing Tall Poppies: Thrive After Trauma, Dr Nat Green opens up about the moment she realised she was still hiding — sitting at her desk, coffee in hand, ready to share something real… and suddenly feeling her chest tighten.

That tiny hesitation revealed something big: even after deep healing, visibility can still feel unsafe. Why? Because our nervous system remembers what our culture reinforces — and Tall Poppy Syndrome whispers that it’s safer to blend in than to shine.

In this powerful conversation, Nat explores how trauma, nervous-system conditioning, and societal messages combine to keep even the most self-aware leaders playing small. She shares what happens when we lead from the mask, why “performing strength” isn’t true resilience, and how authentic visibility and Integrated Leadership becomes the next step in post-traumatic growth.

You’ll learn:
 🌿 The moment Nat recognised she was still protecting herself from being fully seen
 💜 How trauma and Tall Poppy Syndrome intertwine to silence authenticity
 🔥 The difference between being trauma-informed and trauma-integrated
 ✨ Three practical tools to feel safe being seen — without oversharing or burnout
 🌺 Why your presence, not your perfection, is what transforms others

Whether you’re a coach, therapist, practitioner, or purpose-driven leader, this episode is your reminder that courage isn’t about being fearless — it’s about showing up authentically, even when your body still wants to hide.

🎧 Tune in and rediscover the strength in being seen.

Timestamps:
00:00 – Introduction: Why visibility still feels scary
03:45 – The “coffee at my desk” moment of truth
08:20 – Trauma, nervous systems & Tall Poppy Syndrome
13:00 – The cost of the mask
17:10 – What it means to lead without the mask
21:00 – Practical tools for safe visibility
24:00 – Closing reflections: The ripple effect of authentic leadership

If this episode resonates with you then I'd love for you to hit SUBSCRIBE so you can keep updated with each new episode as soon as it's released and we'd be most grateful if you would give us a RATING as well. You can also find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drnatgreen/ or on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DrNatalieGreen

Intro and Outro music: Inspired Ambient by Playsound.

Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended to be deemed or treated as psychological treatment or to replace the need for psychological treatment.

Episode Transcript

Dr Nat Green (00:01):
Welcome to the Growing Tall Poppies Podcast.
I'm your host, Dr.
Nat Green, and I'm so excited tohave you join me as we discuss
what it means to navigate yourway through post-traumatic
growth and not just survive, butto thrive after trauma.

(00:23):
Through our podcast, we willexplore ways for you to create a
life filled with greaterpurpose, self-awareness, and a
deep inner peace.
Through integrating the manyyears of knowledge and
professional experience, as wellas the wisdom of those who have
experienced trauma firsthand.

(00:44):
We'll combine psychologyaccelerated approaches.
Coaching and personal experienceto assist you, to learn, to grow
and to thrive.
I hope to empower you to createdeeper awareness and
understanding and strongerconnections with yourself and
with others, whilst also pavingthe way for those who have

(01:08):
experienced trauma and adversityto reduce their suffering and
become the very best versions ofthemselves.
In order to thrive.
Thank you so much for joining meon today's episode.

(01:29):
Hi, beautiful people and welcomeback to Growing Tall Poppies,
thrive After Trauma.
I'm your host, Dr.
Nat Green, and today we're gonnabe talking about something that
still stretches me, if I'mhonest even now.
And this episode comes.
As you've come to expectstraight from my heart, it's not

(01:51):
about frameworks, another toolor theory or strategy.
It's about visibility, aboutwhat it really means to show up
fully, truthfully, and withoutthe mask.
I'm seeing a lot about thisonline at the moment, hearing

(02:13):
about it in other people'spodcasts.
And I know that people areafraid to show up fully as
themselves for a whole heap ofreasons, but I wanna talk about
this and peel back some of thelayers about what might be
really going on.
Because I think, and I'm reallypassionate about this, that we

(02:37):
need to show up fully asourselves'cause the world
deserves.
People leading with integrity,authenticity, and to really have
the opportunity to connect withpeople who are real, raw,
honest, and making a difference.

(03:00):
So let's talk today about thedeep embodied courage it takes
to show up fully, especiallyafter trauma and especially in a
world that sometimes punishespeople for standing tall.
If you join me for last week'sepisode, healing was only the
beginning.
Then you'll know that we talkedabout what it means to lead from

(03:24):
wholeness, not from our wounds.
We explored the shift fromtrauma recovery, stepping fully
into integration, from survivingthrough to leading and thriving,
and once you start living fromthat place of wholeness.

(03:45):
There's a whole new edge thatappears, and here's what often
happens next, once you've donethe healing, once you start
living from integration, thenext edge is being seen in it.
And of course, that's where goodold tall poppy syndrome often

(04:06):
starts whispering in your ear,who do you think you are to
shine that brightly?
So this episode is aboutrecognizing that whisper and
learning to rise anyway.
It's the invitation to be seenand to stand tall and proud in

(04:26):
the process.
I firmly believe that we alldeserve to shine our light
brightly.
So I really encourage you.
Not to ever let anyone dim yourlight a little while back.

(04:50):
If I'm honest, not that longago, I had this moment that did
stop me in my tracks.
I was sitting at my desk and isso often is the case, coffee in
hand, about to post something onsocial media.
It wasn't even anything huge,just a reflection about grief,

(05:10):
growth and how healing isn'tlinear, but my hands hovered
over the keyboard and justbefore I hit publish, my chest
tightened and I felt that old,familiar feeling, that tightness
in my chest, the one that saysCareful, don't say too much.

(05:33):
It was subtle at first.
My body remembered somethingthat my mind had forgotten.
That old nervous system humkicked in.
Careful.
Don't say too much.
And it wasn't just fear ofjudgment.
It was that old, tall poppyconditioning, the one that says,

(05:55):
don't stand out.
Don't make others uncomfortablewith your truth.
Growing up in Australia, I sawit everywhere and I know that I
now have listeners all aroundthe world, and you might not be
familiar with the term tallpoppy syndrome, but I know that

(06:17):
you also have experiencedvarious forms of it in your
countries.
It's when someone succeeded orspoke up or shone too brightly,
people would say.
They were getting a bit full ofthemselves and they would often
try and cut them down forvarious reasons.

(06:42):
And for those of us with traumahistories, that message burrows
pretty deep visibility can startto feel dangerous.
Not because we are weak, butbecause we've been trained to
believe that it's safer to blendin and not rock the boat.
I realized that even after allmy own healing work, all my

(07:05):
professional work, I was stillprotecting parts of myself from
being fully seen.
And I did have to laugh a littlebecause visibility has always
been a bit of a complicatedthing for me.
Growing up, I learned prettyearly that being too much, too

(07:27):
loud, too outspoken, toointense, could draw criticism
and attention.
So I did what so many of us do.
I learned to perform safety, tosmile, to achieve, to please, to
be visible, but only in the waysthat felt acceptable.
And this continued as apsychologist.

(07:52):
Even as a psychologist for allthose years, I hid behind
professionalism.
I wore that professional maskthat I know many of you know so
well of competence and control,calm, composed, and competent,
because that's what I thoughtclients, colleagues in the world
wanted from me.

(08:13):
I thought credibility meantinvisibility, that showing
emotion or sharing too muchwould make me unprofessional.
Or could even result in me beingseen as impaired.
But that mask served to keep meseparate from my own heart,

(08:34):
disconnected from my soul and mycore purpose, and from the
people who needed to see myhumanity the most.
And yet, somewhere inside, Ialways knew the parts of me that
had been through the fire.
Those were the parts thatactually made me trustworthy and

(08:54):
more authentic.
And I would often tell myclients that our nervous system
remembers what our mind forgets.
When we've experienced trauma,the body learns that visibility
equals vulnerability.
And if you've ever felt shamed,been dismissed or punished for

(09:17):
being your authentic self.
You know exactly what I'mtalking about, and the body
stores that message.
It's safer to stay small, soeven when life looks good,
you're successful, capable,maybe even thriving.

(09:38):
Your system can still whisper.
Don't draw too much attention.
Don't risk rejection.
Keep yourself safe.
And the irony, those protectivestrategies, perfectionism,
overworking, performing oftenmake us really good at what we

(09:59):
do as a recovering workaholic, Aself-sacrificing people pleaser.
I know that all too well.
They help us survive, but theyalso quietly keep us

(10:19):
disconnected from our deepertruth.
Our nervous system alsoremembers what our cultures
reinforce.
When trauma teaches you thatbeing seen equals being unsafe,
and society echoes that withtall poppy syndrome, then you

(10:42):
get a double dose of suppressionand your body says, hide to
survive, and your culture saysshrink to belong.
It's no wonder visibility feelshard, but here's the truth.
Both trauma and tall Poppysyndrome thrive in silence.

(11:05):
They lose their grip the momentyou decide to take up space
anyway.
They lose their grip the momentyou decide to take up space
anyway, and taking up spaceisn't arrogance.
It's aliveness and it's how wereally start to move on our path

(11:28):
to thriving.
A few years ago, I was leading aworkshop for practitioners on
trauma-informed care.
Halfway through, a lady asked mea question that hit me straight

(11:48):
in the heart.
She said, Nat.
Do you ever still struggle withthe things that you teach?
And for a split second, my armorrose and that old part of me,
the one who believed being seenas an authority meant
perfection.
Wanted to say, nah, not really.
That internal voice said, don'tadmit it, stay polished.

(12:12):
But something in me stopped.
Something in me softenedinstead.
And I took a breath and said,yeah, of course I do.
I still get triggered.
I still catch myself doingthings for self-worth, and I
still forget to rest, and youcould feel the whole room

(12:34):
exhale.
That moment taught me somethingthat I'll never forget.
People don't trust your polishedpresentation.
They trust your presence.
They value and trust yourhonesty and your authenticity.

(13:00):
Leading with a mask might feelsafe, but let's face it, it's
exhausting.
It's like holding your breathwhile running a marathon.
They don't need another expertperforming strength.
They need someone real enough tomodel it.

(13:20):
And when we lead from the mask,from the image of who we think
we should be, we lose the veryconnection that makes our
leadership powerful.
Leading without the mask doesn'tmean oversharing or blurring
boundaries or living boundaryfree.

(13:41):
Let's get that really clear fromthe outset.
It's not about spilling everydetail of your life online.
Absolutely not.
It's about alignment, lettingyour inner truth match your
outer expression.
It's about letting who you are.
Match how you show up.

(14:04):
And for me, that looked likeslowly taking off the armor
first in small ways, sharing mystory of burnout, talking about
my own healing journey, andacknowledging that therapists,
practitioners, and coaches arehuman too.

(14:27):
In fact, we're human first.
And that's okay.
Talking openly about the messymiddle, allowing my audience
thank you all very much, and myclients see the human behind the
credentials that's been sopowerful for me.

(14:50):
And something really interestinghappened.
Guess what?
The world didn't collapse,didn't implode.
In fact, everything expanded.
Instead of people losingrespect, they actually connected
more deeply and they said thingslike, oh, it's such a relief to

(15:11):
know you've been there too.
Colleagues began opening upabout their own hidden struggles
and admitted that they'd beenhiding too, because courage is
contagious.
When one poppy grows tall, itreminds the others that they can
rise too because authenticitydoesn't diminish credibility.

(15:36):
In fact, I firmly believe itamplifies it, and that's when I
realized that leadership isn'tabout appearing strong.
It's about being real enough tohold space for strength and
softness at the same time, andthat's what integrated
leadership looks like.
If visibility feels edgy foryou, I wanna share a few

(15:59):
practices that have helped me toretrain my body and to quiet
that tall poppy reflex, not.
Just intellectually, butsomatically number one, breathe
before you share.
So whether it's posting online,giving feedback, or sharing a

(16:20):
story, I want you to pause.
Place your hand on your heart.
Exhale longer than you inhale.
Oh, and tell your nervoussystem.

(16:41):
It's safe to be seen now, andthat small act tells your body
you're not in danger, that youare expanding.
And I still do this beforespeaking events or podcast
interviews.
It's my nervous system.
Reset number two.

(17:05):
Share from scars, not openwounds.
There's a difference betweenusing your story and processing
your story publicly.
If it's still raw, keep itsacred and give it time.
But when it's integrated, whenyou can speak without

(17:26):
reactivating when the lesson haslanded, that's when your story
can serve others.
You're not bleeding on people.
You're leading with wisdom, andthat's when it becomes medicine
for others.
And number three is to practicemicro visibility.

(17:48):
You don't have to leap onto astage and be the center of
attention.
Start with gentle truth telling.
Maybe be honest with a friend.
Tell someone you trust how youreally feel.
Show your face in a short storyclip.

(18:09):
Wear the bright color that yousecretly love.
Post a photo that isn'tperfectly curated.
Say yes to the opportunity thatscares you a little.
As each act teaches your nervoussystem that standing tall is
safe.

(18:29):
Now each act of authenticityrewires your nervous system to
associate visibility withsafety, not threat.
And over time, those micromoments build a new default.
It's safe to be me.

(18:53):
So in closing, I wanna ask you,where are you still hiding?
Where does your voice catch oryour body tighten?
When you think about being seen,where do you catch yourself
shrinking, apologizing, ordownplaying your brilliance to

(19:13):
make others comfortable.
That's tall Poppy syndrome inaction.
The subtle fear that if youstand too tall, someone might
come along and cut you down.
Maybe it's in your businessshowing up online as your true
self.
Maybe it's in your relationshipsspeaking your truth instead of

(19:38):
keeping the peace.
Maybe it's simply lettingyourself be visible in your joy,
not just your pain.
For me, the real transformationhappened when I stopped waiting
to feel ready and startedchoosing to show up anyway,
because courage isn't theabsence of fear, you know that

(20:01):
it's visibility despite it.
It's about getting in the arenaand doing the work despite the
blood, sweat, and tears, andhere's the magic.
The more that I allowed myselfto be seen, the safer it became.
The fear didn't disappearovernight.

(20:24):
It's still there, but it stoppedrunning the show.
These days when I sit down torecord or speak on stage or post
something vulnerable, I remindmyself, you're not performing
anymore, Nat.
You're just being.
Real raw and you, and that'swhat I want for you too.

(20:50):
Here's the truth.
Your light doesn't take awayfrom anyone else's.
Your visibility creates spacefor others to rise.
And when you show upauthentically, voice trembling
heart open, you give otherspermission to do the same.
That's the antidote to bothtrauma and tall Poppy syndrome.

(21:16):
Visibility with integrity,because the world doesn't need
more perfectly curated experts.
It needs real humans.
The ones who can say, I'vewalked through my own fire and
I'm still standing.

(21:37):
I'm still learning and I'm stillleading, I'm still healing, and
I'm still showing up.
That's what courage looks like.
That's leadership.
That's what integration feelslike.
That's integrated leadership andthat is how we grow tall

(21:57):
together.
So wherever you are today,whether you're ready to take off
the mask completely.
Just loosen it a little.
Know this.
You are safe to be seen.
You are safe to shine, and yourauthenticity is the medicine
that this world needs.

(22:20):
So this week I really wannainvite you to take one small act
of courageous visibility.
Post the thing that you've beenholding back.
Share your story in the room.
That needs to hear it.
And if you'd like to be a gueston our Growing Tall Poppies

(22:42):
podcast, thrive After Trauma,then please reach out.
I would love to showcase you andyour story and help you shine
your light brightly for thewhole world to hear and see,
speak your truth with love,because when one poppy stands
tall, it reminds the others whatis possible.

(23:06):
Thank you so much for being herewith me today.
Thank you from the bottom of myheart for listening, reflecting
and rising alongside me, andallowing me to share a little
more of my truth with you.
If this conversation resonated,then I'd love to hear what being
seen means for you in your worldright now.

(23:29):
Come share your reflections withme over on Instagram at Dr.
Nat Green.
I always love hearing yourstories or tag me in your
stories with your own tall poppymoment.
And if you haven't already, makesure you follow Growing Tall
Poppies Thrive after trauma, soyou never miss an episode.
And I'd love to have you shareit with your friends and I'd

(23:52):
love for you to like and write areview.
And next week we'll be exploringthe rest revolution, reclaiming
our energy after trauma.
Because thriving also meansslowing down.
Until then, stay grounded, stayopen, and keep leading from
love, and I cannot wait to seeyou.

(24:17):
Keep growing tall like the tallpoppy that you deserve to be.
Bye for now.
Thank you for joining me in thisepisode of Growing Tall Poppies.
It is my deepest hope thattoday's episode may have
inspired and empowered you tostep fully into your

(24:40):
post-traumatic growth, so thatyou can have absolute clarity
around who you are, what mattersthe most to you, and to assist
you to release your negativeemotions.
And regulate your nervous systemso you can fully thrive.
New episodes are published everyTuesday, and I hope you'll

(25:02):
continue to join us as weexplore both the strategies and
the personal qualities requiredto fully live a life of
post-traumatic growth and tothrive.
So if it feels aligned to youand really resonates, then I
invite you to hit subscribe andit would mean the world to us.
If you could share this episodewith others who you feel may

(25:24):
benefit too, you may also findme on Instagram at Growing Tall
Poppies and Facebook, Dr.
Natalie Green.
Remember, every moment is anopportunity to look for the
lessons and to learn andincrease your ability to live
the life you desire and deserve.

(25:47):
So for now, stay connected.
Stay inspired.
Stand tall like the tall poppyyou are, and keep shining your
light brightly in the world.
Bye for.