June 22, 2025 • 52 mins
Justina Ikwu, also known as J.T. shares her journey from aspiring cardiovascular surgeon to becoming finance professional and community leader while discussing her artistic pursuits and perspectives on dating in Toronto.
• Once dreamed of becoming a doctor due to family expectations and inspiration from medical dramas
• Pivoted to banking and finance after graduation as a "survival mechanism" as an international student
• Rose to become president of the Canadian Association of Urban Finance Professionals (CAUFP)
• Started digital painting in 2016 and recently held her first art exhibition
• Believes in approaching life with authenticity while maintaining clear boundaries
• Values creativity in both professional and personal pursuits
• Approaches dating with optimism while being realistic about compatibility
• Looks for a partner who is honest, accountable, God-fearing, family-oriented and creative
• Lives by the philosophy: "You attract what you're becoming" <AMEN>
You can find Justina's artwork on Instagram @nxonpro19, her personal IG is @JustinaIkwu, you can connect with her professionally on LinkedIn under Justina Ikwu.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
yeah, cheers to cheers and congrats on your
podcast.
Thank you, girl.
Hopefully I'll be here in likea year from now you're supposed
to drink that it's bad luck, ohyeah yikes.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
no, we have to do it again, because now you, you,
let's get to it.
So my first guest today isJustina, thank you.
(00:32):
So do you want to introduceyourself to everybody?
Hi, everyone.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Welcome to Growing Through the Madness Growing
Through the Madness madness GTMmy name is Justina Iko, also
known as GT the GT of Toronto.
I'm sure there's a GT ofToronto somewhere somewhere out
(00:59):
there.
But yeah, I think you're goingto get to know me a bit more
during this session, so I'mgonna spill a little more tea
maybe later.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
I'm gonna spill a little bit more about myself
later so I'm just gonna pass itover to abby, so I have a few
questions for you, but yeah, solike how did we meet again, do
you remember how we met?
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Yeah, we met through a mutual friend.
Yeah, you were prepping for aninterview.
Yeah, a case interview.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Yeah, because I was trying.
At that time in my life Ithought maybe I'm going to be a
consultant in one of theseconsultant firms and then I had
an interview lined up and I wasintroduced to Justina to help me
prep.
Yeah, which was really nice.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yeah, yeah, prepping is always intimidating, so when
I can support, I always lean inthat's how we met.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, now we're friends.
Yeah, and now I mean she can'tget rid of me.
So I cannot okay, good, I don'tknow, she's great.
Okay, good, good, ah, ah, likeno, no, she's great.
She's great, good, good, good,good, good.
So you know, there's a questionthat I'm always very curious
about, and it's I always wantedto know what you wanted to be
(02:13):
when you grew up.
Like I like to ask everybodywhen you were a kid, what did
you feel like?
Oh, this is what I want to bewhen I grow up.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
I wanted to be a doctor, a cardiovascular surgeon
damn, that's a lot it's justone of those aspirations you
have because, as a matter offact, you grew up in a Nigerian
household.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
I was going to ask.
Actually, did your parents say,oh Justin, are you going to be
a doctor, is that your doctor,lawyer or what's the last one, I
don't even know?
An engineer?
Accounting was like secondlevel, that is true.
Doctor, engineer or lawyer.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Yeah, I think it's a bit of both.
I had siblings who were alreadyin that space and my dad always
had this rhetoric that I wouldtake care of him when he gets
older and I said I was justgoing to be a doctor.
And then I watched a lot ofGrey's Anatomy and I got
inspired by Christina Yang, so Ijust really leaned into that
(03:15):
narrative of becoming a surgeon.
So, that was my earliest memoryof a career.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Okay, so funniest story is I.
I don't really like hospitalshows and I'm not sure why I
just have never gotten into them.
I think the only one that Iwatched was dexter, and it may
have been peer pressure.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
I enjoyed it is dexter hospital wasn't that
about the shirt it's not.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
There's another one.
No, it's not, sorry, see, Ilike, I like serial killer stuff
, but like it's not dexter.
There's another one.
It was a doctor, but he was, uh, it was a crazy doctor, but he
was like I think it was.
He was so smart.
House, oh god, yes, house wasthe only one I watched.
(04:04):
I think, guys, it was justbecause At school everybody
talked you just don't want to beleft out At high school, like
in Nigeria, you don't want to be, I think, here too, everywhere,
you don't want to be left out.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Talking about hockey game at work and you don't
really watch hockey.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
I couldn't be left out as a teenager, so I watched
house, yeah, but I've neverreally gotten into like hospital
shows.
I mean it's a little bit ofdrama.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
It's a little bit morbid.
I don't like smell of hospital.
It's all exciting yeah, butthat was my first career choice
okay, second.
My second career choice.
I think I would be aphysiotherapist.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
So still in that line , still in that line In
healthcare, still in healthcare.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
I was a science student for the longest time and
I think in my third year of uniI went to go into
pathophysiology.
And I think in my third year ofuni I went there to go into
pathophysiology.
So where you're studying theorigination of diseases and
trying to figure out um,creative, I guess pathways to
come up with treatments for them.
So you have to understand howsomething works to figure out
how you can work around it.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Yeah, you know the funny thing I'm learning a lot
today because I've never hadthat before in my life.
Honestly, I was so path, you'rewhat?
Speaker 2 (05:28):
path you're physiology.
I was really keen on doing thatbecause I remember I messaged
one of my professors like, oh mygod, like I'm so into whatever
he was teaching me at that pointin time.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
But I tend to be keen and excited about new topics
anyways so why did you move allthe way from health care to
finance?
Because now justin is a healthit's.
She's not in health care, she'sin finance.
She's a fine.
Let me reintroduce this girlfor like what?
Two, three years?
Was it three years?
Um, like how long have I beenin finance?
(05:58):
No, my question is so she usedto be the president of the
canadian association of auburnauburn finance professionals in
canada, which is a big deal, andso I don't know how she went
from health care all the way shewent to business.
Who motivated you to just likepivot that way?
Speaker 2 (06:21):
great question.
I would say I pivoted intobanking and finance after I
graduated from undergrad, as asurvival mechanism.
Okay, I'm being honest, and I'msure some international
students can relate, whereyou're figuring out how to get a
work permit, how to become apermanent resident, how to
(06:44):
become a citizen, and you'relooking for the path of least
resistance.
So that's how I ended up inbanking and I've been here since
2017.
Now I've worked in variouscapacity operationally, so as an
(07:04):
analyst across fraud riskaccount operations, and now I'm
working in business and strategyin the number one bank in
Canada.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Okay, girl, boss, babe, I see you, I see you.
So I wanted to talk a littlebit about how you were able to
put yourself out there to becomethe president of coffee
c-a-u-f-b.
Coffee coffee.
It is a mouthful so um.
So, like I just wanted to tellus, how did you, what did you do
(07:37):
, what steps did you make to putyourself out there to you know,
to get them to trust you?
Because, because you werepretty young at that, you were
like in your mid-20s, right.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
I was like in my late 20s.
So my first exposure to theorganization, which started 28
years ago now, was when I wasgetting my MBA in 2020.
This association had an eventwith a consulting firm, okay,
(08:08):
and I was curious to learn aboutthe firm.
So I attended the event and Iwas like, oh, this is nice.
This is an association that isfocused on elevating black
professionals in financialservices, but once in a while
they would collaborate onsocially impacted events with
other industries.
So like consulting, um,sometimes tech, yeah, but our
(08:30):
the main focus was, or is still,financial services.
So that was my first encounterand I I just thought to myself
like I wish I knew about thiswhen I was in my undergrad.
Right, maybe it would havehelped me accelerate my growth
or be more focused on what Iwanted to do and maybe move out
of that sense of survival.
(08:51):
Yeah, I don't mind survival andjust saying, okay, I just need
to do what I need to do to getto the next stage.
And then, towards the end of myMBA, one of my strategy
professors hinted that a lot ofus would become VPs in the first
three years, which is true,that's very true Reality.
Reality kicks in as you goolder, and he recommended
(09:18):
applying yourself in variousways in your community, giving
back, being part of a non-profit, volunteering and taking all
those skills you're learning andbringing it back to the
organization to elevate yourprofile.
And he took that very seriouslybecause I respected his
recommendation.
So I was looking for anorganization that aligned with
(09:39):
my values and would also createa sense of meaning for me and I
was like, honestly, I reallyknow about this organization.
I attended one of the events.
I'm just going to go volunteerthere.
So at that point in time wewere doing call-outs for roles
in their operational board, sonot advisory board.
(09:59):
Okay, basically, you're goingto hire or recruit people
volunteers who can help run theday-to-day of the nonprofit.
So I put my hand up.
I applied actually to be VP ofoperations but because they
required someone with existingknowledge of the operations,
they recommended I take up thisdirector of youth engagement,
(10:21):
since I had experience workingwith student groups.
In my MBA I was vice presidentof the student council okay, so
you started this journey fromuniversity like you started to
do like your 2020 yeah fromundergrad no from grad school so
after my like during after myMBA was when I applied to um be
part of the organization um, andthen I joined and the first
(10:44):
time I'm someone who, when I sayI'm going to do something, I do
it all the way.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
I don't care if I'm getting paid.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
I love solving a good problem.
I love applying myself, so Iwas able to take up that role
and was able to.
I was.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
I was identified as someone who could lead that
portfolio down the line, so thiswas in 2020, 2021, yeah so I'm
going to interrupt you a littlebit yeah so you said that I'm
going to pick on what you saidabout how, um, you were
identified as someone who couldlead, so did you have a mentor
or somebody like?
Did somebody call you at somepoint, say, hey, justina, these
(11:23):
are some of the things that I'mseeing in you and I would like
you to apply yourself.
Did you get mentors along theway that helped you, or did you
see that in yourself, or was ita little bit of both?
Speaker 2 (11:34):
That's a great question.
I've always seen myself assomeone who's highly capable in
learning and leading peoplealong.
So, to answer your question,question the president at the
time I think towards the end ofhis tenure recommended that I
stay on board and become thevice president of that portfolio
(11:54):
.
I was leading oh, that's reallygood because I was basically
doing the work of the vicepresident, um and then I took up
that portfolio in 2022 underdifferent leadership, and I was
able to create structure andmore meaning towards the work we
were doing within that groupand it was also, I think, during
(12:16):
that year, there was anopportunity for me to step in
and save the day.
You want to call it that due to, I guess, due to leadership
constraints I think that's thebest way to call it that um, due
to, I guess.
Um due to leadership constraintI think that's the best way to
put it and um.
After that experience, a lot ofpeople in the organization saw
me as a figurehead, because Iwas able to step up and rise to
(12:39):
the occasion and carry themalong.
Um, and because of the state ofthe organization at the time, I
wouldn't say it was.
It was being president was themost attractive job, oh yes um,
so there was a crack that had tobe filled, like in in the
(13:00):
organization.
Yeah, um, so it's.
It's not like there was anybodyelse putting your hand up to be
president, but it just kind offelt like it was something I was
supposed to do yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
So you saw the opportunity and you took it and
you saw the need for it.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
I saw the need for it .
I saw that I can really come inhere and take this organization
from here to here and you knowwhat.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
To be honest, the only reason why I started I
never really would go for coffeeevents in the past, like coffee
is a great organization, likesee you, if you check us out,
great, you're doing great thingsin Toronto.
It's a great place to networkand all of that.
But I genuinely started goingmore because you, you, you, you
knew how to organize fun eventslike you're a professional, but
(13:43):
you also know how to have a goodtime.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Yeah, so I think the whole concept of the
organization, or the ethos ofthe organization, was really
focused on community buildingyeah leveraging resources and a
network to elevate individualsin a community.
So we had programs.
We have programs that arefocused on professional
development, financial literacy,but also a lot of networking,
and you can have professionalnetworking.
(14:06):
You have social networking sosocial networking is where we
get a chance to, yeah, take upthe student tie and take up the
hills well, the close-door hills, yeah and have a good time on
the boats in someone's backyardon the rooftop on the rooftop.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
I've been to a few of your rooftop events um but yeah
, it was.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
I would say the entire experience was.
I felt like it was part of mystory yeah I was able to
identify that this was somethingI was supposed to do and,
really, and I believed I coulddo it, so I did it.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
So do you think that some of the things you learned
have, um, helped you of positionyou in a better place in your
career?
Because even this is part ofyour career this, everything
that you did with coffee, oreverything you're still doing
with coffee, because I know you,you are no longer the president
.
You've passed on, passed on the.
It's another lovely girl.
I met her, rachel.
(14:57):
Yeah, I met her.
She's very lovely, yeah, um.
So do you think that the wholeexperience has elevated or put
your current at different lightsfor you, whether it's like at
work and things like that or doyou think it's something that
you believe would would in thelong run?
Speaker 2 (15:17):
I think it's okay.
First of all, I think it'salways very clear to state that
I didn't take this, take up thisrole because I was trying to
like it wasn't a means to an endto build my profile and do my
career.
I just thought I could reallymake a difference.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
And that's the mindset I instilled into the
people that I worked with, intomy team.
Yeah, and it's all volunteerwork and it can be like we're
not getting paid to do the work.
Yeah, we still have to do thework.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Yeah, we still have to do the work, like you were
getting paid to do the work andyou know what and that's such an
important thing to say becauseI feel like a lot of like.
Sometimes you see people whowill start these things or who
would step into like a notnot-for-profit role, and you
know it's all.
I mean, there's always going tobe.
I would not deny that it'salways going to be a selfish
portion to it, but it's alwaysabout what they can just gain.
(16:07):
So it's very important tounderstand that even doing these
different things is you'redoing it because you have the
heart for it, and theneverything that you learn along
the way is just part of thepackage and one way or the other
, it would elevate you.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
I think one way or the other it may be in small
steps, it may be in a large stepit does elevate you, yeah, but
I think to add to your point, ifyou look at the past presidents
like I'm talking aboutpresidents from 1997, 1998,
early 2000s a lot of them areretired executives.
(16:49):
These are people who are stillmaking strides and I knew that I
was going to be part of thegreats if I took up this role,
because I was already great, Iwas just like.
This just gives me a platformto showcase my greatness.
I like that so, and I thinkthose things have people effects
(17:09):
.
People are watching you and I'mrecognized as someone who can
lead, who can instill change,who can inspire people and who
puts their heart into thingsright.
So in terms of how it has helpedmy career, um, I think people
just trust me more.
(17:29):
Yeah, you know I can say I'vedone xyz, my, you've had um in
my industry.
We have participants in theindustry who were, who are still
, partners of the organizationand sponsors um, so it branded
my network, not just for me, butlike for people that come out
to reach out to me and say, hey,justin, I need help with this.
I'm like you know what?
Actually, you know someonebecause I was exposed to this
(17:52):
person through this network.
Yeah, so I'm just happy that Ican lean into that network to
help others.
Yeah, right, and know I feellike those things just play out
eventually, and in terms of thelong term growth or
opportunities that would comefrom this experience, I think
(18:14):
I'm just getting started, likeI'm just yet to see how that
would play out.
Yeah, but just the fact that Idid it.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
And I'm really, really proud of of you and a lot
of us are proud of you likeevery time, like, oh, justina, I
brag about you.
Like, oh, my friend Justina, no, I I brag.
Like you don't even understand.
I'm just like, ah, do you knowmy friend Justina?
She's a, she's a person.
Don't, don't mess with her,she's a boss chick.
She would do it, she can do it,she has done it.
(18:44):
So like, yeah, and I reallylike that.
I know, by god's grace, there'sjust so many doors that will
open for you.
I know that you're a verydriven girl.
I know that you have all thesedreams no, dreams are too big.
I I genuinely, from the bottomof my heart, believe in you.
I know, are you getting teary?
Speaker 2 (19:04):
no, no, I think I'm just, I'm just you just line
that one of my mentors told me,yeah, I mean now he's moved to a
different organization.
But he said you attract whatyou're becoming yeah and um.
It's made me I think it justmade me realize I'm attracting
(19:26):
greatness.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
And you, yes, you are , and you continue to.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
I continue to because and I think it's not just.
It's not just because I exist,it's because I show up.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Yeah, you show up, you care, I care, you care.
I think that's the mostimportant thing you care and I
don't want to betray myself.
Yeah, yeah, girl, she'sdropping.
She can't meet hot today.
So I'm going to shift theconversation a little, because
it was your birthday a few weeksago and you had an art
exhibition.
(19:56):
Yes, I did.
When did you start?
Speaker 2 (19:58):
painting.
Yeah, it's my hidden talentthat sometimes I'm like do I do
that Really?
I started in 2016.
It was just one of those thingsI did to like pass time.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Oh really, Did you do any classes or you just start
being?
Do you draw as a kid?
Do you like drawing?
Speaker 2 (20:16):
aside, like the regular fine art class I took in
high school okay, I did not butI've always been very creative
like I used to do, creativewriting as a child.
Um, I still write, sometimesfiction stories based on my
reality.
Well, those are the names, sodon't bother googling my name
for any of my stories.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
You won't find anything, ask me, I can tell you
but my art started.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
I started digital painting in 2016 and it was just
a way to like release, becauseback then I was always kind of
working, doing my business,doing my full time job.
I just thought this was the onlyway I could like relax and just
let go, because back then I wasalways kind of working, doing
my business, doing my full-timejob.
I just thought this was theonly way I could relax and just
let go.
Yeah, it just started a whileback and this year was the first
(21:03):
time ever that I was able toshare physical space with my
work.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
You were there as well, so it was emotional and
also it was it was hard todescribe, like it was
indescribable, like that feelingyeah, like did I actually do
this?
You did yeah like, not justeven the fact that I had the
exhibition, is the fact that Icreated you create the art yeah,
I remember the green paints,and that's the one that the
(21:28):
green glow.
Yeah, which one is it?
The big one or the small one?
Because the big one, the bigone.
Yeah, that's a showstopper,right?
Yeah, like every time, that'sthe one that the green glow?
Yeah, which one is it?
The big one or the small one?
Speaker 1 (21:33):
because the big one, the big one, yeah, that's a
showstopper, right.
Yeah, like every time, that'swhen I think of that, when I
remember that night.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
That's what I remember the most yeah, it's
definitely one for one for thememory books, yeah, do you do?
Speaker 1 (21:44):
we expect to see more of?
Speaker 2 (21:45):
course, um.
I created the.
I transferred over the digitalprints to canvas because to me
that's an asset and.
I plan on getting my ROI on theasset but most importantly, get
your bag 110%.
I feel like that's going to bean end goal, but I think my main
(22:07):
goal is to have my workimmersed in people's reality, in
someone's reality Like insomeone's space in an office
space.
You come and you see it.
It leaves a memory.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
The way you remember that painting.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
People walk out of that building and it's like you
know what.
That was a shitty interview,but wow what?
Speaker 1 (22:23):
a painter, not an interview.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
That was the best I could come up with.
But, yeah, my plan is to havemore exhibitions in the summer,
so I've already applied.
Um.
I actually got invited toexhibit in new york recently,
girl.
I know it's kind of like what,but I just couldn't do it
because of time and logisticreasons and like shipping over
and painting.
I was like maybe this is justthe right time to do that.
Um, but I was very honored tobe selected, considering I'm an
emerging artist.
Um.
So my plan is just to exhibitmore.
(22:56):
I have some um digital prints Iwant to put on canvas.
So if I can have like 10 umpieces that I'm exhibiting in
different spots, yeah, that'llbe fantastic oh, that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
I can't wait to see more of your paintings.
To be honest, I guess not justwith my paintings.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
I want to eventually start designing everyday items
like things you use in yourdaily life, like plates,
glassware, okay, okay, okay,kitchen napkins.
But every time I travel, Ialways find myself shopping
around.
Not shopping around, butsightseeing for like furniture,
(23:32):
like interior design, yeah, justto like get inspired.
Yeah um, but that's definitelysomething I want to do down the
line, so watch out okay, that'sgood.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
And you told me this what she's like, scared of what
I'm about to say?
You also make beats.
Oh my god, can you imagine shealso make beats?
It's all very rudimentary, I'vetried.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
I feel like she makes beats and she hides them from
the world every music loverprobably has made a beat on your
phone somewhere.
I am a new wait, chill.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
I'm a music lover.
I've never even like like I'venever made one beat, let's say
like melodies I think that's agood way to describe it.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Um so sometimes like I can make melody on my phone
like I could like I could be,like I can pick up a line and
like I could like startrecording on my phone.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
I feel like you know what I feel like.
That's so cool because for me,when I listen to music, I also
listen.
I love music and I love lyricsbecause I do like to write as
well.
Um, but I also listen to thebackground.
I listen to the instruments inthe background and it adds a lot
for me.
But every time I've tried tolike, I'll write a lovely like.
(24:47):
There's some things I'vewritten I'm like, oh my god,
this could be a song, but ask mehow I can't make it.
I, I really don't.
I feel like I I'm just, I wishI had that talent to just.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Yeah, I wish I had the talent to like write my
songs into it and I just come upwith a line and then like I hum
it and like record it or maybewe should work together because
I can write a whole song I have.
It's a plane.
I bring this up becauserecently I was trying to
declutter my phone and I wasjust going through all the
audios I recorded oh this isactually good.
Oh okay, I could listen to thatyeah, but yeah it's um, like I
(25:18):
said, I'm a creative like in myheart and I think that's why I
decided to stay in the strategyspace and transformation space,
because you know, when you'reworking in business and you're
working in financial, in thefinancial service industry, all
those strictures you work withinand the creativity is within
bounds.
I think that's a good way todescribe it.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
It is in the business world.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
It is, but I think to win in the business world you
have to be creative, right you?
Speaker 1 (25:44):
have to define those gray areas.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
So I'm glad that I found a profession that taps
into my Creating.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
The skills that come natural to me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, now you need.
You need a little bit of drinkfor the next set of questions,
so please go ahead.
So we live in toronto anddating in this city.
How is it going?
Dating in toronto is a madhouse.
I feel like dating everywhereis a madhouse I feel like I
(26:17):
don't know.
I feel weak, we I don't actuallydating in toronto is
interesting, to say the least,and I think one of the things I
really like about you, justina,is justina.
First of all, she knows how tomove on, oh yeah.
But when she meets a man, thisbabe is like, genuinely like no,
(26:39):
I have a real connection withthis guy, yeah, I think this is
the one.
But once he messes up, sheknows how to like.
She's like I'm done, I'm notdoing this anymore.
It's not like she doesn't givepeople grace she does.
But when she's sure that, okay,this person is not about their
business with her, she justmoves on, which is something I
really respect.
That the next time she meetsthe next person, she still has
(27:02):
that heart and she's like oh myGod, this is gonna work, there's
a good potential that thiswould work.
I don't you know me like once.
I'm like I'm tired, I need abreak.
I will.
I'm tired, I need a break.
I can take a month or two off,or three months.
I'm like I'm not dating, Idon't want to talk to anybody, I
need some time to be positiveagain.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
How do you do that?
Great question.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
How do you stay positive with all the things
that happen in the city?
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Okay.
So to answer your firstquestion how is dating in
Toronto?
Yeah, first question how isdating in toronto?
Yeah, um, I think, from myexperience and I I'm not
speaking from a general term,just letting you guys know um, I
would say it is.
It is.
It's hard to find people whoare, who want to share the same
(27:55):
values as me I would say, um, sowait, um, in terms of like, I
think maybe it's just ourgeneration I don't know what it
is, or maybe it's a pool ofpeople where I'm engaging, I
don't know, but yeah yeah, tofigure that one out.
But I would say that to me it'smore like people don't really
have any clear ideas of whatthey're looking for when they
(28:16):
start dating.
Um, or some of them think theydo, but they don't.
Their intention doesn't matchtheir behavior right, actually
that's a big one.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Like, yeah, yeah, that's.
I think that's a really big one, where people say one thing oh
yes, I, I, I want a smart, Ilike to take the lead XYZ.
And then, when time comes forthem to do so-and-so, they don't
or they're not.
And you know me, like me.
(28:45):
When somebody starts to showthat, I'm just like, well, he's
not that into me, he's okay, Icarry my bags and I leave.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Honestly, that's wisdom.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
I don't know.
Is it wisdom, or is it just menot wanting to get embarrassed?
Speaker 2 (28:59):
it's not wanting to get embarrassed.
Wisdom in my opinion.
Um, I think the second just tobuild on that point and to
answer your second question ishow do I stay open with, yeah,
with every new connection?
Yeah, I think I'm kind of likea romantic, like okay, guys, I
write I am too, though.
Okay, first of all, I write adabbling creative writing.
(29:20):
So you know, sometimes I'll bebuilding castles in the sky,
okay.
But luckily I'm also astrategist and you know I would
like to have good intuition.
Yeah, I've learned to justlisten to my first thoughts, and
usually your first thoughts youlisten to your gods, right,
gods.
And you know, megan the stallionsaid should I listen to my
(29:42):
first mind?
You know, and you know, it's sotrue, like there's so many
times I didn't and I regrettedit, but um, there's, I think,
someone like me.
I know what I'm looking for, Iknow who I am, I know who I want
to be, who I'm becoming yes andthen you're sure of yourself,
very assertive.
I've always had that vision.
My dad always tells me I'msomeone who knows my destination
(30:06):
.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
So when I engage with sorry, that's very rich coming
from you, like from a fatherright like.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
I always just, I know where I'm heading and that's
why I make choices to get methere.
Yeah, um.
So when I encounter people,scenarios that don't feel like
it's aligned to my purpose orthe purpose that the path that
god has created for me, I justyeah, it's like this is not like
no hard feelings but like howdo you stay posse for the next
(30:36):
guy that comes, because, um,like you have such a light heart
, like it's like oh, yeah, yeah,I mean like it's actually so
cute.
It's like I'm like why?
you don't.
I think you shouldn't be closedup to the idea of what things
could be fair and but you shouldalso be open to the idea of it
(30:58):
might not be what you expect itto be and leave true.
I think it's a dichotomy ofthought you have to be able to
balance with perspective.
Where I'm happy, I'm excitedabout a potential new
opportunity.
If the opportunity goes bust,too bad, too sad, I'm gonna move
on something else upon my lap.
That's what I was.
It always falls on my lap.
It does always.
I don't have a scarcity mindset.
(31:20):
I know I can always get what Iwant if I need it, but um yeah
but, yeah, like I think I just.
I just try to stay open because, at the end of the day, you
want to give people room to bethemselves.
Yeah, um, I don't want ascenario where it didn't work
out because, oh, I wasn't open.
I give them space to get toknow me.
(31:41):
I want to say I did my best,yes, and in process of doing my
best and existing and bringingmy best self forward, I was able
to identify that this is notthe best situation for me or the
other person was able toidentify that maybe I'm not the
best person for them.
It's not just me it goes bothways.
I think that's why I justapproach things that way.
(32:03):
I get excited about I meetsomeone that I like.
I think we share the samevalues.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
I'm going to address it with excitement and
positivity and also realism, tomake sure that I'm not living in
a delusional land, yeah, um,but yeah like, just try to
honestly keep that peace of mindyeah, I'm stressing about
something that hasn't happenedyet, but yeah, when you say that
there's no potential, there'sjust like a bag, you just kind
(32:32):
of just like well I mean it isexhausting sometimes to go
through the rigamarole of makingsomeone new and then figuring
out yeah, I.
I think for me, one of thethings that stresses me out the
most with dating is I getexhausted, like genuinely,
mentally, physically, I getexhausted.
So you meet a new man or, yeah,you meet a new man you eat, you
(32:55):
know it takes you out.
Whatever you go on dates, I'mgetting to know you, I'm getting
excited and then two, threemonths after you're just like
this is not gonna work.
I don't like.
I find it really exhaustingbecause I'm like so that's me
again wishing or thinking, oh,this is maybe this could mean
something and it's not like I'msitting there, I'm not like I
(33:20):
move on, like same with you,like I know how to, like it's
not working, I'm done, I'vemoved on.
Yeah, but I think it's theprocess for me, is the process
of doing that all over againthat stresses me.
Like I just get so drained.
Wash cycles like is it gonna end, yes, and aside from that, it's
(33:41):
also like every time I tryagain, like I'm trying again,
it's exhausting.
I'm bringing a new person intomy space and I think that
probably um um plays a part,because I'm quite introverted,
even though people that I met inToronto, everybody I've met
post-2018, it's hard for them tobelieve this, but I'm quite
(34:05):
introverted.
So I think it's also that I'mstruggling with.
I'm bringing it into my spaceand then in that two, three
months mark is where you're likethat's for me, that's where,
that's where people start toopen up eventually, you know,
like you start to open up, rightyou open up and then I'm like,
oh my god, I'm letting a personin into my space, you're getting
(34:29):
to know about me, even on adeeper level, and I have to do
that again and it doesn't work.
I don't want all these randommen knowing all about my
experience, so that's, I thinkthat's the process of that is
what stresses me out.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
I think it's also the need to be strategic on who you
let in and when you let in andhow you let that in.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
I feel like I are.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
You are, yeah, I get it, but I think it's like an
interview, like think about itfair how many interviews you go
through my sister before you gotyour job.
You know I can't tell you howmany exactly so, but when you're
in the interview process, I'llgo back to the interview thing.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
You know like I think there was a year, like every
year, but it was a time I wasdoing after my master's.
I did so many interviews, yeah,and multiple rounds, and I
think I wrote it down one day.
It's like maybe like 12, atleast 12 companies, and this is
not.
This is like more one, two,three interviews.
(35:24):
I'm just like my god, just giveme a note, like leave me alone,
like give me an offer thatmakes sense, that makes sense
because you can get an offer andjust like I don't want that
right, exactly, but yeah,anyways, you keep on
interviewing as you find.
I don't have a choice.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Exactly Sometimes you take a break and sometimes you
keep on like that's fair.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
I think that's how I see dating.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
It's like how do I detach?
Speaker 1 (35:45):
Because I'm like it could be the next guy that's
going to give me my offer work,like with with companies, like
even from university days, mymindset has had always been
somebody's going to, I don'tneed to work for 10 people at a
time.
Somebody's going to say, yes, Idon't feel that.
I think with emotions isdifferent, because with work
(36:08):
it's I don't know.
There's a.
I guess I feel like I try mybest to bring myself to work and
I think I'm as authentic as Ican be.
But to be honest, and if we'regirls, guys, if you're being
honest, I don't think it's smart, if you don't own the company
or you don't own the co-ownersor whatever, to bring your 100%
(36:30):
every day to work.
It would not work In my opinion.
It would not work.
You can bring your A like youcan't bring your.
You can bring your a game, youcan bring your authentic self,
but I'm not gonna be.
I don't want work people toknow that when I go out, I want
to get down and dance the way Iwant to dance like.
I don't want work people toknow certain things about me.
(36:50):
Do you get what I mean?
So, but like with dating, Iwant.
I think maybe that's it,because for me I like that very
deep connection who doesn't like.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
Oh my god, but I want you.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
I want you to know every no, like you don't have to
know, but like eventually Iwould like my man to know.
Like you know, I want you tosee everything, know what it is,
and I want to know and see whatit is yeah, do you get what I
mean you're saying?
Speaker 2 (37:19):
and just trying to extrapolate on your point and
triangulate to the idea of itbeing an interview?
It is.
I think you have to be cautiousand tactical about what you're
sharing.
Of course, of course, um, butyou need to like, like I said,
(37:41):
you always need to know you canalways walk away if it's not
working.
For you and I think thatsometimes people try so hard to
make things work when it's notworking, like trying to fit the
square into a circle like itmight fit for like the first
five minutes and it pops out,you know like and I don't know
how many times it needs to popup for you to realize you need
to pop out.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
You need to pop out, but um, yeah, I was thinking,
not very keep going, but I am nopun.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
Well, my point, my point here is um so immature.
My point here is that I'm soimmature.
My point here is that dating inToronto or any cities.
I think you just can't like.
You have to understand thedifferent.
What is your goal at differentstages of getting to know?
Speaker 1 (38:26):
someone.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
Yeah, and like, just like you said, it's like you
just don't want so many peopleto know a lot about you and like
who you are.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
I don't even want so many.
I don't want everybody and likewho you are, I don't even want
so many, I don't want everybody,like you know, and I I'm not, I
don't dare to be fair.
It's not like I'm I'm not.
I don't be dating.
Yeah, I actively did, but Idon't date a lot of like.
I did a few, one person at atime.
But it I can talk to multiplepeople, yeah, like I'm not, but
exclusively dating just like.
(38:55):
Yeah, that's different, but ifI'm talking to someone, we're
not, you're not my man I can'tclaim you, you can't claim me.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
Yeah, basically, yeah , so in the on the.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
In that case, I'm yes , I'm talking to other people.
However, there will be oneperson that I'm really, really
entertaining.
There's always one person yourheart it's.
It's a truth there's.
If it's what?
If it's more than one, maybetwo, I don't think my, my mind
is not even mine.
It's just also time, likeyou're a very busy woman, I'm a
(39:25):
very busy woman.
I just don't have the time,genuinely speaking, to entertain
.
I don't have the time, I don'thave the energy.
So I feel like, so now I'm noteven talking about you're
talking or texting differentpeople, or different people are
texting you.
I think it's like when you knowyou focus on that one person
(39:46):
and he's getting to know you,you're getting to know him.
Obviously, people don't earnthe right to know certain things
about you until after a certaintime, maybe, like certain
things that I would not revealuntil you feel more comfortable.
Oh we become a, an item?
Yeah, right, but I think it'slike the, you know, in my head,
like you too, I'm a dreamer.
(40:06):
But in my own head I'veimagined okay, we're going to
get to x, you know x.
And then, when we get to thatpoint, we're going to know x,
we're going to know y.
And when we get to that, likeyou know, I've started to like
I'm seeing progress and all of asudden all of that crashes and
all of that.
So, and that's painful, butalso because I'm not some, I'm
(40:30):
no longer growth, growth.
I'm no longer a girl that stayswhere I don't think it works.
I'm no longer that person.
Once I see that, once a man isdoing left right, I'm out.
I no longer wait, I don't fight, I just it's okay, it's good, I
(40:51):
carry myself out of this, do?
Speaker 2 (40:53):
you get what I mean.
I think the final thought Iwould put forward on this
question would be you have todayto explore yourself and know
what you want and what you don'twant.
I think you have to presentyourself in a way that feels
comfortable to you.
What I choose to share in threemonths might be different from
(41:16):
what you feel comfortablesharing fair, and you have to
know that you're puttingyourself out there and what if
we don't want to anymore?
Speaker 1 (41:26):
if you don't, and then you move on like no, like I
just want to know I think.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
I think it takes a lot of confidence and boldness
to live in your truth, even whenyou're not sure if things are
not going to work out but that's, true and that's just how I do
it, like that's why I leave,because I'm like, every time I
meet someone I know, like thisis how I'm going to consistently
show up, because that's justwho I am.
Yeah, and it's not.
Regardless of how things playout, I'm still going to be this
person 110 percent and, yes,that's true, but that's it.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
But let's go back to daydreaming my ideal world.
I'll just be in my house,someone will just knock and
you're like Duke Abby.
No, I'll see him in a dream.
Okay, this is go.
Let me tell you the idealsituation.
All of you stay with me I hopeI haven't lost anybody so like.
I'll sleep at night and I'llhave this dream, very clear
(42:12):
dream, dream very, very cleardreams, dream very, very clear.
I'll see this man, I'll see theway everything will play out
and the next day I'll just stepout and the first person I see
is this man and he comes up tome and then we know we just
start talking, like casually,just talking, and that's it.
And then he gets it and then wego on dates and that's it like,
(42:34):
literally, I've seen him.
It may even I will just open mydoor one day and he's just
there.
It's like special delivery fromgod.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
You know, god said you might need a lover yeah, let
me ask you one more question.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
One more question.
What else you have on your list?
So, girl, what's your ideal man?
What's your ideal man like ugh?
Speaker 2 (42:57):
I don't know my ideal man.
So like if I had a machine thatI can calibrate to create my
perfect man.
What would that person looklike and what would the
characteristics of the person?
Speaker 1 (43:12):
we can do two things.
You can tell us what the personcould look like, and then you
can also tell us traits you'relooking for I think, like when
it comes to physical form, I'mnot too like peculiar about that
.
I think I'm serious, like I'mquite open, like I'm more like
it's love blind, not entirely,because if you're an asshole I'm
not interested okay, no, butlike, like the physical whatever
(43:34):
doesn't really matter to you,yeah, like I said, I'm not
interested, okay, no, but like,like the fiscal, the fiscal
whatever doesn't really matterto you, yeah, like I said I'm
looking for like a deep bond.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
I think if I'm like attracted to you, like I'm
saying I'm not really um, Iwouldn't say I have a type
physically per se I didn't knowthat because I'm looking back on
my uh, my, my resume.
Yeah, I can see I'm someonewho's adaptable and flexible.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
I love that word.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
Yeah, bring back the corporate lingo I try, you know,
attaining those milestones inrelationship also important um,
but in terms of, I think Ireally focus on traits and um,
characteristics and behavior,like what I think I need
somebody who's honest withthemselves and can reflect.
I think it's so importantbecause sometimes it's so hard,
(44:24):
like the ego gets in the way.
Speaker 1 (44:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
Right, I need someone who has a history of taking
accountability for their lives.
I need someone who has ahistory of development, like
growth, with or without me.
You're fantastic.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
I need someone who believes in God Very important
and is connected to God and hasa reverence for God.
I think if you fear God,chances are you'll be making
crazy decisions that woulddisrupt your life.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
Yeah, I need someone who has a good relationship with
your family.
That's a big thing arelationship with your family
and your friends, I thinksomeone who's also not a
pushover.
I don't like someone who's apushover.
I'm not a pushover, yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
I don't like that either.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
Nobody puts baby in a corner.
I want someone who's also likethat.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Yeah, I don't want to be fighting over, I don't want
to always, always be the onewith the big mouth.
Speaker 2 (45:32):
Yeah, I need a good balance.
I think I need someone who hasa flow of creativity.
I feel like you would bespontaneous and interesting.
You can surprise me and we canshare hobbies and creative
hobbies and design thingstogether.
I love that.
Okay, I see you.
(45:52):
I love it, let's go.
What else ideally can I do, man?
Um just have like ambition andlike a vision for themselves.
Yeah, I think that's a big one,um, someone who's comfortable
feeling your emotions andexpressing your emotions, so
(46:12):
emotionally intelligent man andthat is not scared to be
expressive exactly not scared tobe expressive, not scared to,
you know, learn how to do thingsjust because I like them, you
know, and vice versa.
Obviously I'm gonna yeah, itmight not be my thing, but I
could like it could be my thingbecause it's your thing, you
know what I'm saying.
I like that and I'm not gonnagrumble about it, I'm just gonna
(46:33):
like you're gonna learn, Igoing to learn, I'm going to
learn.
I'm going to have a good timelearning.
Yeah, because like it's yourthing.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
Because you're seeing them happy, it's like, okay,
it's something we can sharetogether.
You're like, oh my god, it'shappy about this though.
Speaker 2 (46:43):
Hey, I might try them , I know like.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
I don't know like sustain what?
Speaker 2 (47:02):
do you mean sustain yourself like are you the air
that we breathe?
No, that's only god.
I think more of um.
If you look at sustenance, itcould be um physically, so
making sure you're in good shape, okay, your lifestyle, your
habits, what you eat yeah,really, that's sustenance.
(47:23):
Even spiritual sustenance is athing.
Speaker 1 (47:26):
You know what I get?
I didn't understand, but now Iget it.
Speaker 2 (47:29):
Yeah, it's an umbrella term for I think it's
self-regulation.
Speaker 1 (47:34):
That's a good way to describe it Discipline.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
I think it's self-regulation that's a good
way to describe it.
Discipline, discipline yeah, Ithink.
Ideally, those are the traitsand characteristics I'm looking
for in a partner.
You know what's so interesting?
It's possible that I could meetsomeone and they have a bit of
everything, but not likeeverything.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
I mean, you know, I don't feel like it's possible,
for it's not impossible to finda man.
Everything that you said.
I just don't think.
I don't.
One thing that is from that Iknow is nobody's perfect, so
there's not going to besomething that there's going to
be.
You know how they say the 80-20rule, so there's probably there
may be maybe 10% that are likeoof, I mean like, if I look at
(48:15):
it, have you ever heard ofHarvey circles?
Speaker 2 (48:18):
no so what's that so um, when you're creating a deck?
I'm sorry guys yeah, that'sfine.
You're creating a deck and youwant to show the status of
readiness of like an item orlike a factor put a sticker on
it.
I like a sticker like on Harveycycle could be like a full
circle, could be a half quarteroh, is that all you guys use at
your company?
It's used up is used in yourcompany.
(48:41):
This isn't a console.
Speaker 1 (48:42):
No, we use, we use um I, we, I use stickies like we
have like different, like wehave um deck updates stickies.
So you just put yeah, I thinkit's just, it's just one of
those.
Um, okay, I've never heardabout it.
Speaker 2 (48:54):
It's like it's a means of storytelling.
I think that's a good way todescribe it.
I'll send you a link but theidea is that I could have a list
.
You might say it is like theheadline could be like my ideal
partner and I could have a listof all those things I've
mentioned.
Yeah, and it's possible I couldmeet someone as everyone on
their list.
But to have the cycle couldlike maybe one of them would be
like full circle, which meanslike they have a hundred percent
(49:15):
of this and like it'sconsistent, or like some of it
would be like half circlebecause they don't have like one
quarter of the circle, becausethey barely have that right and
even the item or thecharacteristic that's a hundred
percent complete.
Sometimes maybe it's like 80 andnot like 70 complete.
(49:35):
Yeah, so I think it's justbeing like open to the fact that
everything I've listed heremight not always manifest or be
apparent at different stages inthe relationship, and that's
fair and also, like I'm justthinking fundamentals to be
there.
Speaker 1 (49:52):
As long as that's what I was gonna say as long as
your deal breakers are, they,they, they don't.
They're not breaking your dealbreakers.
I don't know, I'll say it, butyou know what I mean.
Like it's, your deal breakersare not tampered with or they're
they are checked.
Yeah, am I saying the right way?
Yeah, I think.
Then.
Speaker 2 (50:10):
Then you should be fine, yeah and I hope you know
you heard it.
Speaker 1 (50:14):
Assert.
You heard it here firstJustina's ideal man.
Speaker 2 (50:20):
Oh my God, Someone's going to hold me to this like
five years, but you said youwanted this.
Speaker 1 (50:24):
Yeah, and you know what?
We are not trees.
Even trees can get whatever.
Honestly, I feel like we evolve.
Speaker 2 (50:31):
Honestly, I think those characteristics are like
my deep breakers.
Speaker 1 (50:35):
I think those characteristics they're like my
deep workers, like I thinkfundamentally.
Speaker 2 (50:38):
I need that to feel secure and like secure my
decision to be with this personto get me to my destination.
Speaker 1 (50:44):
Yeah, and that's important and that's fine, and
you'll find that man for you, byGod's grace, he's gonna.
He's there, he's there.
So, wherever you are, that man,show up, show up, do what you
need to do, be a leader and comeand get your girl.
Okay, period, period.
(51:05):
So, um, justina, thank you somuch.
Welcome for joining my podcast.
I'm really happy to have youhere.
And um, where welcome and wherecan people find you?
Do you want people to find you?
Speaker 2 (51:18):
first of all, I mean, yeah, I mean find my, maybe my
artwork.
So I go by NX X as in x-rayO-N-P-R-O-1-9 on Instagram.
That name has no meaning, it'sjust Say it again it's
(51:39):
N-X-O-N-P-R-O-1 Instagram.
That name has no meaning, it'sjust say it again.
It's nxonpro19, um to look atmy, some of my creative pieces.
And you know, shop around.
If you want to um or like,refer to a friend.
If you want um, you'll find meon Instagram.
It's justinaiko, because I am mybrand yeah and if you want to
connect with me on LinkedIn tohave a coffee chat, sure you can
connect with me.
I always love meeting newpeople, adding people to my
(52:02):
professional network, but yeahthat's it for now.
Speaker 1 (52:08):
Thank you so much.
It was really nice to have youhere.
I think we had a greatconversation.
Speaker 2 (52:12):
Yeah, we did cheers to and congrats on your podcast.
Thank you girl hopefully I'llbe here in like a year from now
you're supposed to drink that?
It's bad luck.
Speaker 1 (52:24):
Oh yeah, yikes no, we have to do it again, though,
because now you, you.
yeah, cheers to cheers and congrats on your
podcast.
Thank you, girl.
Hopefully I'll be here in likea year from now you're supposed
to drink that it's bad luck, ohyeah yikes.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
no, we have to do it again, because now you, you,
let's get to it.
So my first guest today isJustina, thank you.
(00:32):
So do you want to introduceyourself to everybody?
Hi, everyone.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Welcome to Growing Through the Madness Growing
Through the Madness madness GTMmy name is Justina Iko, also
known as GT the GT of Toronto.
I'm sure there's a GT ofToronto somewhere somewhere out
(00:59):
there.
But yeah, I think you're goingto get to know me a bit more
during this session, so I'mgonna spill a little more tea
maybe later.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
I'm gonna spill a little bit more about myself
later so I'm just gonna pass itover to abby, so I have a few
questions for you, but yeah, solike how did we meet again, do
you remember how we met?
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Yeah, we met through a mutual friend.
Yeah, you were prepping for aninterview.
Yeah, a case interview.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Yeah, because I was trying.
At that time in my life Ithought maybe I'm going to be a
consultant in one of theseconsultant firms and then I had
an interview lined up and I wasintroduced to Justina to help me
prep.
Yeah, which was really nice.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yeah, yeah, prepping is always intimidating, so when
I can support, I always lean inthat's how we met.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah, now we're friends.
Yeah, and now I mean she can'tget rid of me.
So I cannot okay, good, I don'tknow, she's great.
Okay, good, good, ah, ah, likeno, no, she's great.
She's great, good, good, good,good, good.
So you know, there's a questionthat I'm always very curious
about, and it's I always wantedto know what you wanted to be
(02:13):
when you grew up.
Like I like to ask everybodywhen you were a kid, what did
you feel like?
Oh, this is what I want to bewhen I grow up.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
I wanted to be a doctor, a cardiovascular surgeon
damn, that's a lot it's justone of those aspirations you
have because, as a matter offact, you grew up in a Nigerian
household.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
I was going to ask.
Actually, did your parents say,oh Justin, are you going to be
a doctor, is that your doctor,lawyer or what's the last one, I
don't even know?
An engineer?
Accounting was like secondlevel, that is true.
Doctor, engineer or lawyer.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Yeah, I think it's a bit of both.
I had siblings who were alreadyin that space and my dad always
had this rhetoric that I wouldtake care of him when he gets
older and I said I was justgoing to be a doctor.
And then I watched a lot ofGrey's Anatomy and I got
inspired by Christina Yang, so Ijust really leaned into that
(03:15):
narrative of becoming a surgeon.
So, that was my earliest memoryof a career.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Okay, so funniest story is I.
I don't really like hospitalshows and I'm not sure why I
just have never gotten into them.
I think the only one that Iwatched was dexter, and it may
have been peer pressure.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
I enjoyed it is dexter hospital wasn't that
about the shirt it's not.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
There's another one.
No, it's not, sorry, see, Ilike, I like serial killer stuff
, but like it's not dexter.
There's another one.
It was a doctor, but he was, uh, it was a crazy doctor, but he
was like I think it was.
He was so smart.
House, oh god, yes, house wasthe only one I watched.
(04:04):
I think, guys, it was justbecause At school everybody
talked you just don't want to beleft out At high school, like
in Nigeria, you don't want to be, I think, here too, everywhere,
you don't want to be left out.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Talking about hockey game at work and you don't
really watch hockey.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
I couldn't be left out as a teenager, so I watched
house, yeah, but I've neverreally gotten into like hospital
shows.
I mean it's a little bit ofdrama.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
It's a little bit morbid.
I don't like smell of hospital.
It's all exciting yeah, butthat was my first career choice
okay, second.
My second career choice.
I think I would be aphysiotherapist.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
So still in that line , still in that line In
healthcare, still in healthcare.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
I was a science student for the longest time and
I think in my third year of uniI went to go into
pathophysiology.
And I think in my third year ofuni I went there to go into
pathophysiology.
So where you're studying theorigination of diseases and
trying to figure out um,creative, I guess pathways to
come up with treatments for them.
So you have to understand howsomething works to figure out
how you can work around it.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Yeah, you know the funny thing I'm learning a lot
today because I've never hadthat before in my life.
Honestly, I was so path, you'rewhat?
Speaker 2 (05:28):
path you're physiology.
I was really keen on doing thatbecause I remember I messaged
one of my professors like, oh mygod, like I'm so into whatever
he was teaching me at that pointin time.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
But I tend to be keen and excited about new topics
anyways so why did you move allthe way from health care to
finance?
Because now justin is a healthit's.
She's not in health care, she'sin finance.
She's a fine.
Let me reintroduce this girlfor like what?
Two, three years?
Was it three years?
Um, like how long have I beenin finance?
(05:58):
No, my question is so she usedto be the president of the
canadian association of auburnauburn finance professionals in
canada, which is a big deal, andso I don't know how she went
from health care all the way shewent to business.
Who motivated you to just likepivot that way?
Speaker 2 (06:21):
great question.
I would say I pivoted intobanking and finance after I
graduated from undergrad, as asurvival mechanism.
Okay, I'm being honest, and I'msure some international
students can relate, whereyou're figuring out how to get a
work permit, how to become apermanent resident, how to
(06:44):
become a citizen, and you'relooking for the path of least
resistance.
So that's how I ended up inbanking and I've been here since
2017.
Now I've worked in variouscapacity operationally, so as an
(07:04):
analyst across fraud riskaccount operations, and now I'm
working in business and strategyin the number one bank in
Canada.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Okay, girl, boss, babe, I see you, I see you.
So I wanted to talk a littlebit about how you were able to
put yourself out there to becomethe president of coffee
c-a-u-f-b.
Coffee coffee.
It is a mouthful so um.
So, like I just wanted to tellus, how did you, what did you do
(07:37):
, what steps did you make to putyourself out there to you know,
to get them to trust you?
Because, because you werepretty young at that, you were
like in your mid-20s, right.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
I was like in my late 20s.
So my first exposure to theorganization, which started 28
years ago now, was when I wasgetting my MBA in 2020.
This association had an eventwith a consulting firm, okay,
(08:08):
and I was curious to learn aboutthe firm.
So I attended the event and Iwas like, oh, this is nice.
This is an association that isfocused on elevating black
professionals in financialservices, but once in a while
they would collaborate onsocially impacted events with
other industries.
So like consulting, um,sometimes tech, yeah, but our
(08:30):
the main focus was, or is still,financial services.
So that was my first encounterand I I just thought to myself
like I wish I knew about thiswhen I was in my undergrad.
Right, maybe it would havehelped me accelerate my growth
or be more focused on what Iwanted to do and maybe move out
of that sense of survival.
(08:51):
Yeah, I don't mind survival andjust saying, okay, I just need
to do what I need to do to getto the next stage.
And then, towards the end of myMBA, one of my strategy
professors hinted that a lot ofus would become VPs in the first
three years, which is true,that's very true Reality.
Reality kicks in as you goolder, and he recommended
(09:18):
applying yourself in variousways in your community, giving
back, being part of a non-profit, volunteering and taking all
those skills you're learning andbringing it back to the
organization to elevate yourprofile.
And he took that very seriouslybecause I respected his
recommendation.
So I was looking for anorganization that aligned with
(09:39):
my values and would also createa sense of meaning for me and I
was like, honestly, I reallyknow about this organization.
I attended one of the events.
I'm just going to go volunteerthere.
So at that point in time wewere doing call-outs for roles
in their operational board, sonot advisory board.
(09:59):
Okay, basically, you're goingto hire or recruit people
volunteers who can help run theday-to-day of the nonprofit.
So I put my hand up.
I applied actually to be VP ofoperations but because they
required someone with existingknowledge of the operations,
they recommended I take up thisdirector of youth engagement,
(10:21):
since I had experience workingwith student groups.
In my MBA I was vice presidentof the student council okay, so
you started this journey fromuniversity like you started to
do like your 2020 yeah fromundergrad no from grad school so
after my like during after myMBA was when I applied to um be
part of the organization um, andthen I joined and the first
(10:44):
time I'm someone who, when I sayI'm going to do something, I do
it all the way.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
I don't care if I'm getting paid.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
I love solving a good problem.
I love applying myself, so Iwas able to take up that role
and was able to.
I was.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
I was identified as someone who could lead that
portfolio down the line, so thiswas in 2020, 2021, yeah so I'm
going to interrupt you a littlebit yeah so you said that I'm
going to pick on what you saidabout how, um, you were
identified as someone who couldlead, so did you have a mentor
or somebody like?
Did somebody call you at somepoint, say, hey, justina, these
(11:23):
are some of the things that I'mseeing in you and I would like
you to apply yourself.
Did you get mentors along theway that helped you, or did you
see that in yourself, or was ita little bit of both?
Speaker 2 (11:34):
That's a great question.
I've always seen myself assomeone who's highly capable in
learning and leading peoplealong.
So, to answer your question,question the president at the
time I think towards the end ofhis tenure recommended that I
stay on board and become thevice president of that portfolio
(11:54):
.
I was leading oh, that's reallygood because I was basically
doing the work of the vicepresident, um and then I took up
that portfolio in 2022 underdifferent leadership, and I was
able to create structure andmore meaning towards the work we
were doing within that groupand it was also, I think, during
(12:16):
that year, there was anopportunity for me to step in
and save the day.
You want to call it that due to, I guess, due to leadership
constraints I think that's thebest way to call it that um, due
to, I guess.
Um due to leadership constraintI think that's the best way to
put it and um.
After that experience, a lot ofpeople in the organization saw
me as a figurehead, because Iwas able to step up and rise to
(12:39):
the occasion and carry themalong.
Um, and because of the state ofthe organization at the time, I
wouldn't say it was.
It was being president was themost attractive job, oh yes um,
so there was a crack that had tobe filled, like in in the
(13:00):
organization.
Yeah, um, so it's.
It's not like there was anybodyelse putting your hand up to be
president, but it just kind offelt like it was something I was
supposed to do yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
So you saw the opportunity and you took it and
you saw the need for it.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
I saw the need for it .
I saw that I can really come inhere and take this organization
from here to here and you knowwhat.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
To be honest, the only reason why I started I
never really would go for coffeeevents in the past, like coffee
is a great organization, likesee you, if you check us out,
great, you're doing great thingsin Toronto.
It's a great place to networkand all of that.
But I genuinely started goingmore because you, you, you, you
knew how to organize fun eventslike you're a professional, but
(13:43):
you also know how to have a goodtime.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Yeah, so I think the whole concept of the
organization, or the ethos ofthe organization, was really
focused on community buildingyeah leveraging resources and a
network to elevate individualsin a community.
So we had programs.
We have programs that arefocused on professional
development, financial literacy,but also a lot of networking,
and you can have professionalnetworking.
(14:06):
You have social networking sosocial networking is where we
get a chance to, yeah, take upthe student tie and take up the
hills well, the close-door hills, yeah and have a good time on
the boats in someone's backyardon the rooftop on the rooftop.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
I've been to a few of your rooftop events um but yeah
, it was.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
I would say the entire experience was.
I felt like it was part of mystory yeah I was able to
identify that this was somethingI was supposed to do and,
really, and I believed I coulddo it, so I did it.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
So do you think that some of the things you learned
have, um, helped you of positionyou in a better place in your
career?
Because even this is part ofyour career this, everything
that you did with coffee, oreverything you're still doing
with coffee, because I know you,you are no longer the president
.
You've passed on, passed on the.
It's another lovely girl.
I met her, rachel.
(14:57):
Yeah, I met her.
She's very lovely, yeah, um.
So do you think that the wholeexperience has elevated or put
your current at different lightsfor you, whether it's like at
work and things like that or doyou think it's something that
you believe would would in thelong run?
Speaker 2 (15:17):
I think it's okay.
First of all, I think it'salways very clear to state that
I didn't take this, take up thisrole because I was trying to
like it wasn't a means to an endto build my profile and do my
career.
I just thought I could reallymake a difference.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
And that's the mindset I instilled into the
people that I worked with, intomy team.
Yeah, and it's all volunteerwork and it can be like we're
not getting paid to do the work.
Yeah, we still have to do thework.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Yeah, we still have to do the work, like you were
getting paid to do the work andyou know what and that's such an
important thing to say becauseI feel like a lot of like.
Sometimes you see people whowill start these things or who
would step into like a notnot-for-profit role, and you
know it's all.
I mean, there's always going tobe.
I would not deny that it'salways going to be a selfish
portion to it, but it's alwaysabout what they can just gain.
(16:07):
So it's very important tounderstand that even doing these
different things is you'redoing it because you have the
heart for it, and theneverything that you learn along
the way is just part of thepackage and one way or the other
, it would elevate you.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
I think one way or the other it may be in small
steps, it may be in a large stepit does elevate you, yeah, but
I think to add to your point, ifyou look at the past presidents
like I'm talking aboutpresidents from 1997, 1998,
early 2000s a lot of them areretired executives.
(16:49):
These are people who are stillmaking strides and I knew that I
was going to be part of thegreats if I took up this role,
because I was already great, Iwas just like.
This just gives me a platformto showcase my greatness.
I like that so, and I thinkthose things have people effects
(17:09):
.
People are watching you and I'mrecognized as someone who can
lead, who can instill change,who can inspire people and who
puts their heart into thingsright.
So in terms of how it has helpedmy career, um, I think people
just trust me more.
(17:29):
Yeah, you know I can say I'vedone xyz, my, you've had um in
my industry.
We have participants in theindustry who were, who are still
, partners of the organizationand sponsors um, so it branded
my network, not just for me, butlike for people that come out
to reach out to me and say, hey,justin, I need help with this.
I'm like you know what?
Actually, you know someonebecause I was exposed to this
(17:52):
person through this network.
Yeah, so I'm just happy that Ican lean into that network to
help others.
Yeah, right, and know I feellike those things just play out
eventually, and in terms of thelong term growth or
opportunities that would comefrom this experience, I think
(18:14):
I'm just getting started, likeI'm just yet to see how that
would play out.
Yeah, but just the fact that Idid it.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
And I'm really, really proud of of you and a lot
of us are proud of you likeevery time, like, oh, justina, I
brag about you.
Like, oh, my friend Justina, no, I I brag.
Like you don't even understand.
I'm just like, ah, do you knowmy friend Justina?
She's a, she's a person.
Don't, don't mess with her,she's a boss chick.
She would do it, she can do it,she has done it.
(18:44):
So like, yeah, and I reallylike that.
I know, by god's grace, there'sjust so many doors that will
open for you.
I know that you're a verydriven girl.
I know that you have all thesedreams no, dreams are too big.
I I genuinely, from the bottomof my heart, believe in you.
I know, are you getting teary?
Speaker 2 (19:04):
no, no, I think I'm just, I'm just you just line
that one of my mentors told me,yeah, I mean now he's moved to a
different organization.
But he said you attract whatyou're becoming yeah and um.
It's made me I think it justmade me realize I'm attracting
(19:26):
greatness.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
And you, yes, you are , and you continue to.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
I continue to because and I think it's not just.
It's not just because I exist,it's because I show up.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Yeah, you show up, you care, I care, you care.
I think that's the mostimportant thing you care and I
don't want to betray myself.
Yeah, yeah, girl, she'sdropping.
She can't meet hot today.
So I'm going to shift theconversation a little, because
it was your birthday a few weeksago and you had an art
exhibition.
(19:56):
Yes, I did.
When did you start?
Speaker 2 (19:58):
painting.
Yeah, it's my hidden talentthat sometimes I'm like do I do
that Really?
I started in 2016.
It was just one of those thingsI did to like pass time.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Oh really, Did you do any classes or you just start
being?
Do you draw as a kid?
Do you like drawing?
Speaker 2 (20:16):
aside, like the regular fine art class I took in
high school okay, I did not butI've always been very creative
like I used to do, creativewriting as a child.
Um, I still write, sometimesfiction stories based on my
reality.
Well, those are the names, sodon't bother googling my name
for any of my stories.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
You won't find anything, ask me, I can tell you
but my art started.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
I started digital painting in 2016 and it was just
a way to like release, becauseback then I was always kind of
working, doing my business,doing my full time job.
I just thought this was the onlyway I could like relax and just
let go, because back then I wasalways kind of working, doing
my business, doing my full-timejob.
I just thought this was theonly way I could relax and just
let go.
Yeah, it just started a whileback and this year was the first
(21:03):
time ever that I was able toshare physical space with my
work.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
You were there as well, so it was emotional and
also it was it was hard todescribe, like it was
indescribable, like that feelingyeah, like did I actually do
this?
You did yeah like, not justeven the fact that I had the
exhibition, is the fact that Icreated you create the art yeah,
I remember the green paints,and that's the one that the
(21:28):
green glow.
Yeah, which one is it?
The big one or the small one?
Because the big one, the bigone.
Yeah, that's a showstopper,right?
Yeah, like every time, that'sthe one that the green glow?
Yeah, which one is it?
The big one or the small one?
Speaker 1 (21:33):
because the big one, the big one, yeah, that's a
showstopper, right.
Yeah, like every time, that'swhen I think of that, when I
remember that night.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
That's what I remember the most yeah, it's
definitely one for one for thememory books, yeah, do you do?
Speaker 1 (21:44):
we expect to see more of?
Speaker 2 (21:45):
course, um.
I created the.
I transferred over the digitalprints to canvas because to me
that's an asset and.
I plan on getting my ROI on theasset but most importantly, get
your bag 110%.
I feel like that's going to bean end goal, but I think my main
(22:07):
goal is to have my workimmersed in people's reality, in
someone's reality Like insomeone's space in an office
space.
You come and you see it.
It leaves a memory.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
The way you remember that painting.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
People walk out of that building and it's like you
know what.
That was a shitty interview,but wow what?
Speaker 1 (22:23):
a painter, not an interview.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
That was the best I could come up with.
But, yeah, my plan is to havemore exhibitions in the summer,
so I've already applied.
Um.
I actually got invited toexhibit in new york recently,
girl.
I know it's kind of like what,but I just couldn't do it
because of time and logisticreasons and like shipping over
and painting.
I was like maybe this is justthe right time to do that.
Um, but I was very honored tobe selected, considering I'm an
emerging artist.
Um.
So my plan is just to exhibitmore.
(22:56):
I have some um digital prints Iwant to put on canvas.
So if I can have like 10 umpieces that I'm exhibiting in
different spots, yeah, that'llbe fantastic oh, that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
I can't wait to see more of your paintings.
To be honest, I guess not justwith my paintings.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
I want to eventually start designing everyday items
like things you use in yourdaily life, like plates,
glassware, okay, okay, okay,kitchen napkins.
But every time I travel, Ialways find myself shopping
around.
Not shopping around, butsightseeing for like furniture,
(23:32):
like interior design, yeah, justto like get inspired.
Yeah um, but that's definitelysomething I want to do down the
line, so watch out okay, that'sgood.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
And you told me this what she's like, scared of what
I'm about to say?
You also make beats.
Oh my god, can you imagine shealso make beats?
It's all very rudimentary, I'vetried.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
I feel like she makes beats and she hides them from
the world every music loverprobably has made a beat on your
phone somewhere.
I am a new wait, chill.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
I'm a music lover.
I've never even like like I'venever made one beat, let's say
like melodies I think that's agood way to describe it.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Um so sometimes like I can make melody on my phone
like I could like I could be,like I can pick up a line and
like I could like startrecording on my phone.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
I feel like you know what I feel like.
That's so cool because for me,when I listen to music, I also
listen.
I love music and I love lyricsbecause I do like to write as
well.
Um, but I also listen to thebackground.
I listen to the instruments inthe background and it adds a lot
for me.
But every time I've tried tolike, I'll write a lovely like.
(24:47):
There's some things I'vewritten I'm like, oh my god,
this could be a song, but ask mehow I can't make it.
I, I really don't.
I feel like I I'm just, I wishI had that talent to just.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Yeah, I wish I had the talent to like write my
songs into it and I just come upwith a line and then like I hum
it and like record it or maybewe should work together because
I can write a whole song I have.
It's a plane.
I bring this up becauserecently I was trying to
declutter my phone and I wasjust going through all the
audios I recorded oh this isactually good.
Oh okay, I could listen to thatyeah, but yeah it's um, like I
(25:18):
said, I'm a creative like in myheart and I think that's why I
decided to stay in the strategyspace and transformation space,
because you know, when you'reworking in business and you're
working in financial, in thefinancial service industry, all
those strictures you work withinand the creativity is within
bounds.
I think that's a good way todescribe it.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
It is in the business world.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
It is, but I think to win in the business world you
have to be creative, right you?
Speaker 1 (25:44):
have to define those gray areas.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
So I'm glad that I found a profession that taps
into my Creating.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
The skills that come natural to me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, now you need.
You need a little bit of drinkfor the next set of questions,
so please go ahead.
So we live in toronto anddating in this city.
How is it going?
Dating in toronto is a madhouse.
I feel like dating everywhereis a madhouse I feel like I
(26:17):
don't know.
I feel weak, we I don't actuallydating in toronto is
interesting, to say the least,and I think one of the things I
really like about you, justina,is justina.
First of all, she knows how tomove on, oh yeah.
But when she meets a man, thisbabe is like, genuinely like no,
(26:39):
I have a real connection withthis guy, yeah, I think this is
the one.
But once he messes up, sheknows how to like.
She's like I'm done, I'm notdoing this anymore.
It's not like she doesn't givepeople grace she does.
But when she's sure that, okay,this person is not about their
business with her, she justmoves on, which is something I
really respect.
That the next time she meetsthe next person, she still has
(27:02):
that heart and she's like oh myGod, this is gonna work, there's
a good potential that thiswould work.
I don't you know me like once.
I'm like I'm tired, I need abreak.
I will.
I'm tired, I need a break.
I can take a month or two off,or three months.
I'm like I'm not dating, Idon't want to talk to anybody, I
need some time to be positiveagain.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
How do you do that?
Great question.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
How do you stay positive with all the things
that happen in the city?
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Okay.
So to answer your firstquestion how is dating in
Toronto?
Yeah, first question how isdating in toronto?
Yeah, um, I think, from myexperience and I I'm not
speaking from a general term,just letting you guys know um, I
would say it is.
It is.
It's hard to find people whoare, who want to share the same
(27:55):
values as me I would say, um, sowait, um, in terms of like, I
think maybe it's just ourgeneration I don't know what it
is, or maybe it's a pool ofpeople where I'm engaging, I
don't know, but yeah yeah, tofigure that one out.
But I would say that to me it'smore like people don't really
have any clear ideas of whatthey're looking for when they
(28:16):
start dating.
Um, or some of them think theydo, but they don't.
Their intention doesn't matchtheir behavior right, actually
that's a big one.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Like, yeah, yeah, that's.
I think that's a really big one, where people say one thing oh
yes, I, I, I want a smart, Ilike to take the lead XYZ.
And then, when time comes forthem to do so-and-so, they don't
or they're not.
And you know me, like me.
(28:45):
When somebody starts to showthat, I'm just like, well, he's
not that into me, he's okay, Icarry my bags and I leave.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Honestly, that's wisdom.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
I don't know.
Is it wisdom, or is it just menot wanting to get embarrassed?
Speaker 2 (28:59):
it's not wanting to get embarrassed.
Wisdom in my opinion.
Um, I think the second just tobuild on that point and to
answer your second question ishow do I stay open with, yeah,
with every new connection?
Yeah, I think I'm kind of likea romantic, like okay, guys, I
write I am too, though.
Okay, first of all, I write adabbling creative writing.
(29:20):
So you know, sometimes I'll bebuilding castles in the sky,
okay.
But luckily I'm also astrategist and you know I would
like to have good intuition.
Yeah, I've learned to justlisten to my first thoughts, and
usually your first thoughts youlisten to your gods, right,
gods.
And you know, megan the stallionsaid should I listen to my
(29:42):
first mind?
You know, and you know, it's sotrue, like there's so many
times I didn't and I regrettedit, but um, there's, I think,
someone like me.
I know what I'm looking for, Iknow who I am, I know who I want
to be, who I'm becoming yes andthen you're sure of yourself,
very assertive.
I've always had that vision.
My dad always tells me I'msomeone who knows my destination
(30:06):
.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
So when I engage with sorry, that's very rich coming
from you, like from a fatherright like.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
I always just, I know where I'm heading and that's
why I make choices to get methere.
Yeah, um.
So when I encounter people,scenarios that don't feel like
it's aligned to my purpose orthe purpose that the path that
god has created for me, I justyeah, it's like this is not like
no hard feelings but like howdo you stay posse for the next
(30:36):
guy that comes, because, um,like you have such a light heart
, like it's like oh, yeah, yeah,I mean like it's actually so
cute.
It's like I'm like why?
you don't.
I think you shouldn't be closedup to the idea of what things
could be fair and but you shouldalso be open to the idea of it
(30:58):
might not be what you expect itto be and leave true.
I think it's a dichotomy ofthought you have to be able to
balance with perspective.
Where I'm happy, I'm excitedabout a potential new
opportunity.
If the opportunity goes bust,too bad, too sad, I'm gonna move
on something else upon my lap.
That's what I was.
It always falls on my lap.
It does always.
I don't have a scarcity mindset.
(31:20):
I know I can always get what Iwant if I need it, but um yeah
but, yeah, like I think I just.
I just try to stay open because, at the end of the day, you
want to give people room to bethemselves.
Yeah, um, I don't want ascenario where it didn't work
out because, oh, I wasn't open.
I give them space to get toknow me.
(31:41):
I want to say I did my best,yes, and in process of doing my
best and existing and bringingmy best self forward, I was able
to identify that this is notthe best situation for me or the
other person was able toidentify that maybe I'm not the
best person for them.
It's not just me it goes bothways.
I think that's why I justapproach things that way.
(32:03):
I get excited about I meetsomeone that I like.
I think we share the samevalues.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
I'm going to address it with excitement and
positivity and also realism, tomake sure that I'm not living in
a delusional land, yeah, um,but yeah like, just try to
honestly keep that peace of mindyeah, I'm stressing about
something that hasn't happenedyet, but yeah, when you say that
there's no potential, there'sjust like a bag, you just kind
(32:32):
of just like well I mean it isexhausting sometimes to go
through the rigamarole of makingsomeone new and then figuring
out yeah, I.
I think for me, one of thethings that stresses me out the
most with dating is I getexhausted, like genuinely,
mentally, physically, I getexhausted.
So you meet a new man or, yeah,you meet a new man you eat, you
(32:55):
know it takes you out.
Whatever you go on dates, I'mgetting to know you, I'm getting
excited and then two, threemonths after you're just like
this is not gonna work.
I don't like.
I find it really exhaustingbecause I'm like so that's me
again wishing or thinking, oh,this is maybe this could mean
something and it's not like I'msitting there, I'm not like I
(33:20):
move on, like same with you,like I know how to, like it's
not working, I'm done, I'vemoved on.
Yeah, but I think it's theprocess for me, is the process
of doing that all over againthat stresses me.
Like I just get so drained.
Wash cycles like is it gonna end, yes, and aside from that, it's
(33:41):
also like every time I tryagain, like I'm trying again,
it's exhausting.
I'm bringing a new person intomy space and I think that
probably um um plays a part,because I'm quite introverted,
even though people that I met inToronto, everybody I've met
post-2018, it's hard for them tobelieve this, but I'm quite
(34:05):
introverted.
So I think it's also that I'mstruggling with.
I'm bringing it into my spaceand then in that two, three
months mark is where you're likethat's for me, that's where,
that's where people start toopen up eventually, you know,
like you start to open up, rightyou open up and then I'm like,
oh my god, I'm letting a personin into my space, you're getting
(34:29):
to know about me, even on adeeper level, and I have to do
that again and it doesn't work.
I don't want all these randommen knowing all about my
experience, so that's, I thinkthat's the process of that is
what stresses me out.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
I think it's also the need to be strategic on who you
let in and when you let in andhow you let that in.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
I feel like I are.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
You are, yeah, I get it, but I think it's like an
interview, like think about itfair how many interviews you go
through my sister before you gotyour job.
You know I can't tell you howmany exactly so, but when you're
in the interview process, I'llgo back to the interview thing.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
You know like I think there was a year, like every
year, but it was a time I wasdoing after my master's.
I did so many interviews, yeah,and multiple rounds, and I
think I wrote it down one day.
It's like maybe like 12, atleast 12 companies, and this is
not.
This is like more one, two,three interviews.
(35:24):
I'm just like my god, just giveme a note, like leave me alone,
like give me an offer thatmakes sense, that makes sense
because you can get an offer andjust like I don't want that
right, exactly, but yeah,anyways, you keep on
interviewing as you find.
I don't have a choice.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Exactly Sometimes you take a break and sometimes you
keep on like that's fair.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
I think that's how I see dating.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
It's like how do I detach?
Speaker 1 (35:45):
Because I'm like it could be the next guy that's
going to give me my offer work,like with with companies, like
even from university days, mymindset has had always been
somebody's going to, I don'tneed to work for 10 people at a
time.
Somebody's going to say, yes, Idon't feel that.
I think with emotions isdifferent, because with work
(36:08):
it's I don't know.
There's a.
I guess I feel like I try mybest to bring myself to work and
I think I'm as authentic as Ican be.
But to be honest, and if we'regirls, guys, if you're being
honest, I don't think it's smart, if you don't own the company
or you don't own the co-ownersor whatever, to bring your 100%
(36:30):
every day to work.
It would not work In my opinion.
It would not work.
You can bring your A like youcan't bring your.
You can bring your a game, youcan bring your authentic self,
but I'm not gonna be.
I don't want work people toknow that when I go out, I want
to get down and dance the way Iwant to dance like.
I don't want work people toknow certain things about me.
(36:50):
Do you get what I mean?
So, but like with dating, Iwant.
I think maybe that's it,because for me I like that very
deep connection who doesn't like.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
Oh my god, but I want you.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
I want you to know every no, like you don't have to
know, but like eventually Iwould like my man to know.
Like you know, I want you tosee everything, know what it is,
and I want to know and see whatit is yeah, do you get what I
mean you're saying?
Speaker 2 (37:19):
and just trying to extrapolate on your point and
triangulate to the idea of itbeing an interview?
It is.
I think you have to be cautiousand tactical about what you're
sharing.
Of course, of course, um, butyou need to like, like I said,
(37:41):
you always need to know you canalways walk away if it's not
working.
For you and I think thatsometimes people try so hard to
make things work when it's notworking, like trying to fit the
square into a circle like itmight fit for like the first
five minutes and it pops out,you know like and I don't know
how many times it needs to popup for you to realize you need
to pop out.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
You need to pop out, but um, yeah, I was thinking,
not very keep going, but I am nopun.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
Well, my point, my point here is um so immature.
My point here is that I'm soimmature.
My point here is that dating inToronto or any cities.
I think you just can't like.
You have to understand thedifferent.
What is your goal at differentstages of getting to know?
Speaker 1 (38:26):
someone.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
Yeah, and like, just like you said, it's like you
just don't want so many peopleto know a lot about you and like
who you are.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
I don't even want so many.
I don't want everybody and likewho you are, I don't even want
so many, I don't want everybody,like you know, and I I'm not, I
don't dare to be fair.
It's not like I'm I'm not.
I don't be dating.
Yeah, I actively did, but Idon't date a lot of like.
I did a few, one person at atime.
But it I can talk to multiplepeople, yeah, like I'm not, but
exclusively dating just like.
(38:55):
Yeah, that's different, but ifI'm talking to someone, we're
not, you're not my man I can'tclaim you, you can't claim me.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
Yeah, basically, yeah , so in the on the.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
In that case, I'm yes , I'm talking to other people.
However, there will be oneperson that I'm really, really
entertaining.
There's always one person yourheart it's.
It's a truth there's.
If it's what?
If it's more than one, maybetwo, I don't think my, my mind
is not even mine.
It's just also time, likeyou're a very busy woman, I'm a
(39:25):
very busy woman.
I just don't have the time,genuinely speaking, to entertain
.
I don't have the time, I don'thave the energy.
So I feel like, so now I'm noteven talking about you're
talking or texting differentpeople, or different people are
texting you.
I think it's like when you knowyou focus on that one person
(39:46):
and he's getting to know you,you're getting to know him.
Obviously, people don't earnthe right to know certain things
about you until after a certaintime, maybe, like certain
things that I would not revealuntil you feel more comfortable.
Oh we become a, an item?
Yeah, right, but I think it'slike the, you know, in my head,
like you too, I'm a dreamer.
(40:06):
But in my own head I'veimagined okay, we're going to
get to x, you know x.
And then, when we get to thatpoint, we're going to know x,
we're going to know y.
And when we get to that, likeyou know, I've started to like
I'm seeing progress and all of asudden all of that crashes and
all of that.
So, and that's painful, butalso because I'm not some, I'm
(40:30):
no longer growth, growth.
I'm no longer a girl that stayswhere I don't think it works.
I'm no longer that person.
Once I see that, once a man isdoing left right, I'm out.
I no longer wait, I don't fight, I just it's okay, it's good, I
(40:51):
carry myself out of this, do?
Speaker 2 (40:53):
you get what I mean.
I think the final thought Iwould put forward on this
question would be you have todayto explore yourself and know
what you want and what you don'twant.
I think you have to presentyourself in a way that feels
comfortable to you.
What I choose to share in threemonths might be different from
(41:16):
what you feel comfortablesharing fair, and you have to
know that you're puttingyourself out there and what if
we don't want to anymore?
Speaker 1 (41:26):
if you don't, and then you move on like no, like I
just want to know I think.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
I think it takes a lot of confidence and boldness
to live in your truth, even whenyou're not sure if things are
not going to work out but that's, true and that's just how I do
it, like that's why I leave,because I'm like, every time I
meet someone I know, like thisis how I'm going to consistently
show up, because that's justwho I am.
Yeah, and it's not.
Regardless of how things playout, I'm still going to be this
person 110 percent and, yes,that's true, but that's it.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
But let's go back to daydreaming my ideal world.
I'll just be in my house,someone will just knock and
you're like Duke Abby.
No, I'll see him in a dream.
Okay, this is go.
Let me tell you the idealsituation.
All of you stay with me I hopeI haven't lost anybody so like.
I'll sleep at night and I'llhave this dream, very clear
(42:12):
dream, dream very, very cleardreams, dream very, very clear.
I'll see this man, I'll see theway everything will play out
and the next day I'll just stepout and the first person I see
is this man and he comes up tome and then we know we just
start talking, like casually,just talking, and that's it.
And then he gets it and then wego on dates and that's it like,
(42:34):
literally, I've seen him.
It may even I will just open mydoor one day and he's just
there.
It's like special delivery fromgod.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
You know, god said you might need a lover yeah, let
me ask you one more question.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
One more question.
What else you have on your list?
So, girl, what's your ideal man?
What's your ideal man like ugh?
Speaker 2 (42:57):
I don't know my ideal man.
So like if I had a machine thatI can calibrate to create my
perfect man.
What would that person looklike and what would the
characteristics of the person?
Speaker 1 (43:12):
we can do two things.
You can tell us what the personcould look like, and then you
can also tell us traits you'relooking for I think, like when
it comes to physical form, I'mnot too like peculiar about that
.
I think I'm serious, like I'mquite open, like I'm more like
it's love blind, not entirely,because if you're an asshole I'm
not interested okay, no, butlike, like the physical whatever
(43:34):
doesn't really matter to you,yeah, like I said, I'm not
interested, okay, no, but like,like the fiscal, the fiscal
whatever doesn't really matterto you, yeah, like I said I'm
looking for like a deep bond.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
I think if I'm like attracted to you, like I'm
saying I'm not really um, Iwouldn't say I have a type
physically per se I didn't knowthat because I'm looking back on
my uh, my, my resume.
Yeah, I can see I'm someonewho's adaptable and flexible.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
I love that word.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
Yeah, bring back the corporate lingo I try, you know,
attaining those milestones inrelationship also important um,
but in terms of, I think Ireally focus on traits and um,
characteristics and behavior,like what I think I need
somebody who's honest withthemselves and can reflect.
I think it's so importantbecause sometimes it's so hard,
(44:24):
like the ego gets in the way.
Speaker 1 (44:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
Right, I need someone who has a history of taking
accountability for their lives.
I need someone who has ahistory of development, like
growth, with or without me.
You're fantastic.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
I need someone who believes in God Very important
and is connected to God and hasa reverence for God.
I think if you fear God,chances are you'll be making
crazy decisions that woulddisrupt your life.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
Yeah, I need someone who has a good relationship with
your family.
That's a big thing arelationship with your family
and your friends, I thinksomeone who's also not a
pushover.
I don't like someone who's apushover.
I'm not a pushover, yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
I don't like that either.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
Nobody puts baby in a corner.
I want someone who's also likethat.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Yeah, I don't want to be fighting over, I don't want
to always, always be the onewith the big mouth.
Speaker 2 (45:32):
Yeah, I need a good balance.
I think I need someone who hasa flow of creativity.
I feel like you would bespontaneous and interesting.
You can surprise me and we canshare hobbies and creative
hobbies and design thingstogether.
I love that.
Okay, I see you.
(45:52):
I love it, let's go.
What else ideally can I do, man?
Um just have like ambition andlike a vision for themselves.
Yeah, I think that's a big one,um, someone who's comfortable
feeling your emotions andexpressing your emotions, so
(46:12):
emotionally intelligent man andthat is not scared to be
expressive exactly not scared tobe expressive, not scared to,
you know, learn how to do thingsjust because I like them, you
know, and vice versa.
Obviously I'm gonna yeah, itmight not be my thing, but I
could like it could be my thingbecause it's your thing, you
know what I'm saying.
I like that and I'm not gonnagrumble about it, I'm just gonna
(46:33):
like you're gonna learn, Igoing to learn, I'm going to
learn.
I'm going to have a good timelearning.
Yeah, because like it's yourthing.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
Because you're seeing them happy, it's like, okay,
it's something we can sharetogether.
You're like, oh my god, it'shappy about this though.
Speaker 2 (46:43):
Hey, I might try them , I know like.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
I don't know like sustain what?
Speaker 2 (47:02):
do you mean sustain yourself like are you the air
that we breathe?
No, that's only god.
I think more of um.
If you look at sustenance, itcould be um physically, so
making sure you're in good shape, okay, your lifestyle, your
habits, what you eat yeah,really, that's sustenance.
(47:23):
Even spiritual sustenance is athing.
Speaker 1 (47:26):
You know what I get?
I didn't understand, but now Iget it.
Speaker 2 (47:29):
Yeah, it's an umbrella term for I think it's
self-regulation.
Speaker 1 (47:34):
That's a good way to describe it Discipline.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
I think it's self-regulation that's a good
way to describe it.
Discipline, discipline yeah, Ithink.
Ideally, those are the traitsand characteristics I'm looking
for in a partner.
You know what's so interesting?
It's possible that I could meetsomeone and they have a bit of
everything, but not likeeverything.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
I mean, you know, I don't feel like it's possible,
for it's not impossible to finda man.
Everything that you said.
I just don't think.
I don't.
One thing that is from that Iknow is nobody's perfect, so
there's not going to besomething that there's going to
be.
You know how they say the 80-20rule, so there's probably there
may be maybe 10% that are likeoof, I mean like, if I look at
(48:15):
it, have you ever heard ofHarvey circles?
Speaker 2 (48:18):
no so what's that so um, when you're creating a deck?
I'm sorry guys yeah, that'sfine.
You're creating a deck and youwant to show the status of
readiness of like an item orlike a factor put a sticker on
it.
I like a sticker like on Harveycycle could be like a full
circle, could be a half quarteroh, is that all you guys use at
your company?
It's used up is used in yourcompany.
(48:41):
This isn't a console.
Speaker 1 (48:42):
No, we use, we use um I, we, I use stickies like we
have like different, like wehave um deck updates stickies.
So you just put yeah, I thinkit's just, it's just one of
those.
Um, okay, I've never heardabout it.
Speaker 2 (48:54):
It's like it's a means of storytelling.
I think that's a good way todescribe it.
I'll send you a link but theidea is that I could have a list
.
You might say it is like theheadline could be like my ideal
partner and I could have a listof all those things I've
mentioned.
Yeah, and it's possible I couldmeet someone as everyone on
their list.
But to have the cycle couldlike maybe one of them would be
like full circle, which meanslike they have a hundred percent
(49:15):
of this and like it'sconsistent, or like some of it
would be like half circlebecause they don't have like one
quarter of the circle, becausethey barely have that right and
even the item or thecharacteristic that's a hundred
percent complete.
Sometimes maybe it's like 80 andnot like 70 complete.
(49:35):
Yeah, so I think it's justbeing like open to the fact that
everything I've listed heremight not always manifest or be
apparent at different stages inthe relationship, and that's
fair and also, like I'm justthinking fundamentals to be
there.
Speaker 1 (49:52):
As long as that's what I was gonna say as long as
your deal breakers are, they,they, they don't.
They're not breaking your dealbreakers.
I don't know, I'll say it, butyou know what I mean.
Like it's, your deal breakersare not tampered with or they're
they are checked.
Yeah, am I saying the right way?
Yeah, I think.
Then.
Speaker 2 (50:10):
Then you should be fine, yeah and I hope you know
you heard it.
Speaker 1 (50:14):
Assert.
You heard it here firstJustina's ideal man.
Speaker 2 (50:20):
Oh my God, Someone's going to hold me to this like
five years, but you said youwanted this.
Speaker 1 (50:24):
Yeah, and you know what?
We are not trees.
Even trees can get whatever.
Honestly, I feel like we evolve.
Speaker 2 (50:31):
Honestly, I think those characteristics are like
my deep breakers.
Speaker 1 (50:35):
I think those characteristics they're like my
deep workers, like I thinkfundamentally.
Speaker 2 (50:38):
I need that to feel secure and like secure my
decision to be with this personto get me to my destination.
Speaker 1 (50:44):
Yeah, and that's important and that's fine, and
you'll find that man for you, byGod's grace, he's gonna.
He's there, he's there.
So, wherever you are, that man,show up, show up, do what you
need to do, be a leader and comeand get your girl.
Okay, period, period.
(51:05):
So, um, justina, thank you somuch.
Welcome for joining my podcast.
I'm really happy to have youhere.
And um, where welcome and wherecan people find you?
Do you want people to find you?
Speaker 2 (51:18):
first of all, I mean, yeah, I mean find my, maybe my
artwork.
So I go by NX X as in x-rayO-N-P-R-O-1-9 on Instagram.
That name has no meaning, it'sjust Say it again it's
(51:39):
N-X-O-N-P-R-O-1 Instagram.
That name has no meaning, it'sjust say it again.
It's nxonpro19, um to look atmy, some of my creative pieces.
And you know, shop around.
If you want to um or like,refer to a friend.
If you want um, you'll find meon Instagram.
It's justinaiko, because I am mybrand yeah and if you want to
connect with me on LinkedIn tohave a coffee chat, sure you can
connect with me.
I always love meeting newpeople, adding people to my
(52:02):
professional network, but yeahthat's it for now.
Speaker 1 (52:08):
Thank you so much.
It was really nice to have youhere.
I think we had a greatconversation.
Speaker 2 (52:12):
Yeah, we did cheers to and congrats on your podcast.
Thank you girl hopefully I'llbe here in like a year from now
you're supposed to drink that?
It's bad luck.
Speaker 1 (52:24):
Oh yeah, yikes no, we have to do it again, though,
because now you, you.
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