October 13, 2024 • 16 mins
Ever found yourself frustrated with the seemingly endless wait for divine intervention? You're not alone. Join me as I grapple with the impatience and disappointment that often accompany our desire for immediate answers to our prayers, especially in times of personal crisis like health issues, financial troubles, or relationship woes. We'll question the familiar church responses that lean heavily on scripture about God's timing and plans, and explore how these can sometimes feel more dismissive than comforting. Through my personal experiences, I hope to open up a space where you can acknowledge and express these complex emotions without guilt, and consider ways to share and understand them within your faith community.
In our candid discussion, we confront the struggle of feeling disconnected from God during prolonged hardships, despite assurances that everything will eventually work out. I share my discomfort with the Christian community's tendency to offer scripture when empathy is needed, and the challenge of trusting in future resolutions when the present feels unbearable. Together, we'll explore alternative forms of support, such as journaling or finding groups that truly understand your journey, offering solace when spiritual and emotional needs aren't fully acknowledged. Let's walk this path together, seeking immediate answers and reassurance, while reminding ourselves that we are not alone in these feelings.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
right now?
How about now?
I don't know about you, butwhen I ask God for help, I'm
really hoping he's going to comethrough right now, like without
delay.
Man, like if I'm sick, if Ifeel well and I pray, I'm hoping
(00:22):
you're going to step in rightnow.
If I have a money problem orsomething's going on at work,
I'm praying you're going to stepin to turn that around right
now.
Indeed, when I'm praying forothers and whatever their needs
are, I'm praying that's going tobe happening now, or at least
(00:45):
sooner than later.
Do you feel like that?
Can you relate to the idea ofwanting what you want now?
I think a lot of people can,but I don't think in the that is
really encouraged.
Let's say it this way In thechurch, we're frequently told
(01:10):
upon needing something that Godis going to provide, but that
provision is going to come onHis timeline.
It's going to come in His way,in the form that he wants it,
with the people and the timingand the context.
(01:30):
And basically, for one thing,you're thinking I don't want all
that other stuff, right, like Ijust want God to help me with
this thing.
Heal my leg that's broke, helpme find a higher paying job, let
me get that promotion.
Heal that relationship, heal mymarriage.
As human beings we often fretor worry about the future.
(01:53):
So our mind is out there, outrunning ahead, and then also we
tend to reminisce about the pastor perhaps reflect on things
that bring us down in the pastor make us sad about the past or
make us feel like we missedsomething from the past.
So then our mind is dwellingthere, but, as we're frequently
(02:18):
told, and as something that,like in Eastern philosophy,
there seems to be a much moreexplicit understanding of that,
we live essentially in aninfinite now.
We only live right now.
Everything else is either inour memory, in our imagination,
(02:42):
but that's it.
We are right here.
Imagination, but that's it.
We are right here.
And so, as people that livehere and now and in our moment,
that's where we feel the needright, that's where we feel the
wants, that's where we feel thedesires.
We feel them right now.
And so naturally, when we'refeeling that and we're asking
(03:02):
for help, we're hoping that'sdelivered right now, or
hopefully, there's like a realgood reason for it, or we know
that it's going to be deliveredsoon or we have.
If I can just wait this nextweek, then God's going to do
that, or God never gives us aprognosis for his response to
(03:22):
what we're asking for.
So we just we really don't knowif he's going to answer it.
Is it his will to answer it?
When will he answer it?
With what circumstances orthrough whom?
We wish that we would get thiscare package from God, or even
just an email back that justsays hey, man, yeah, I got your
prayer working on it.
(03:43):
We'll be in touch.
Like anything a read receive.
In our lives as human beings, wefeel much more comfortable
having some feedback when itcomes to having our needs met
right.
Most of us would not becomfortable, say, not knowing
where our next meal came from,or if we're going to be able to
get some gainful employment, orhow long we're going to be stuck
(04:08):
in a certain circumstance thatwe find just too uncomfortable
to remain in for like more thanis the time that's absolutely
necessary.
So I could tell you right nowif you feel like you're asking
things of God and you'refrustrated by not getting that
response in the now you're notalone.
(04:30):
Man Like I could totally relateto that.
I think many people can relateto that.
I think most people can relateto that.
The problem isn't that peopledon't feel that way.
The problem is, generally, asChristians, we don't let people
(04:50):
express that without kind ofbeating them back with all the
right things to say.
So you say something and whatdo people say?
They just start trotting outall the verses Not in my time,
it's in God's time, and God'stime isn't our time.
And what else have we got?
I hear them so often now Ican't remember them.
(05:11):
God has a plan for you to blessyou, or how about God is going
to multiply and restoreeverything that was lost from
the harvest.
So we have all these sayingsand promises and things that are
(05:33):
thrown at us when we need help.
And it's unfortunate, right,because we want to be able to
say just honestly yeah, dude, Ineed help and I wish God would
help me.
Like right now for a lot ofpeople in the company of many
Christians, you just can't getaway with that.
People look at you like you'retrying to override God, or you
(05:58):
think better than God, or you'rejust in your own earthly wisdom
and basically, so what do youdo?
So for me, if I'm in asituation and I'm trying to
express that and I'm withsomebody who is not going to
honor or respect what I'm sayingand they're just going to pare
it back to me all these verses.
There's only I guess there arethree options, but I'm certainly
(06:22):
not going to be arguing aboutit.
That's just a waste of time.
There's really only tworesponses I can either not bring
it up to them and just tototally avoid that conversation,
or I can just swallow it downand not really feel comfortable
with the message I'm being givenor what I'm supposed to be able
(06:47):
to hold on to peacefully, but Ijust swallow down anyway.
Okay, so you wind up likeberating yourself, or you could
just become very frustrated andangry, like at the person who's
pushing that down your throat,and or you could just be mad at
God about it.
Can you relate to that?
Have you ever been mad at God?
(07:08):
Have you ever been mad at Godbecause he didn't deliver
something for you, or he didn'tdeliver something for your loved
one, or he didn't deliversomething at your church or at
your workplace?
Have you ever been disappointedabout that?
Have you ever been mad aboutthat?
Because I can tell you you'renot alone.
(07:30):
I am like the poster boy fordisappointment and frustration
with God.
Okay, and I know I'm not alone.
I know I'm not alone, but in mydaily life I often have to walk
alone on that, because mostpeople and indeed most people
(07:56):
they're Christians or they'reaspiring to be Christians, or
however they would describethemselves, and they may be
confronting all these sameproblems.
But when someone brings it upto them, they're being told hey,
this is what you're supposed tosay, right?
What's the script that we'retaught to respond to people with
(08:18):
when they're disappointed orthey're in a hurry, or they feel
like things have gotten behind?
Let me tell you, I am totallybehind on tons of shit, right?
I'm behind in my career.
I'm behind in my health.
I'm behind in my relationships.
(08:38):
I'm behind.
There are so many things thathave happened over the years to
delay and redirect my path.
Now, granted, it is mine, right, like I'm trying to determine
that.
So somebody could say, yeah,your plan, jimmy, isn't working,
(09:04):
but that's because God has atotally different plan, so
things aren't actually late.
Or people say God's never late,god's always right on time.
Okay, I guess you can choose tolook at it that way.
Being right on time for memeans like right now.
Way, being right on time for memeans like right now.
You know what I'm saying.
God, you want to be on time.
If you're asking me, god, likewhat I want or need or whatever,
like I'm saying, I need you tocome through now.
(09:27):
The now is what I'm interestedin and indeed in the Bible, the
word now is used quite a bit, soit's not as if there's no value
in the now, maybe taken as awhole.
Looking at the Bible, like youcan see that there are a few
(09:49):
things going on at the same time.
Right, because sometimes itseems like people are being
encouraged or exhorted to dosomething or claim something
like right now, to take actionright now.
But that's not all the cases.
Some cases are forget the past,but the past behind you.
(10:11):
To shake the dust off your feetand move on to the next village
.
To shake the dust off your feetand move on to the next village
.
Then the third category, whichis here's what you need to be
looking forward to.
Here's what I am going to do togive you the victory.
When or how?
(10:31):
I'm not going to answer that,this would be God saying this,
but I am going to come throughand you can count on my promises
to you.
This situation for normal peoplewho don't have to pretend to be
super Christians or superpastors or the risen son of God
(10:52):
themselves, just to the normaleveryday person like us.
Now is a word that becomes veryproblematic when we talk about
our faith, because a lot ofthings that we don't like
happening are happening rightnow.
I'm having trouble with this.
(11:14):
Right now, my stomach hurts,like right now my loved one is
dealing with this situation intheir household.
Right now, someone in my churchgroup has a kid who just got
arrested last night.
This is stuff that's happeninglike right now.
How can we?
This is stuff that's happeninglike right now.
How can we?
(11:35):
Why should we even entertainthe idea of, yeah, that's yeah,
don't worry, because in thefuture that's going to be
resolved, or yeah, god has it inhand, or whatever?
I wish I had that type of faith,but a lot of the times that's
really not where I'm at.
It depends, right, it dependswhat's going on.
(11:57):
It depends how serious it is.
It depends what experiencesI've had with God in that
category.
If there's a category of yourlife where you feel like God has
really gotten your back and youhave a sense of security in it,
for those things it's going tobe much easier for you to be
like, oh well, hey, I'm good, Ican wait this out, I know God's
going to lift me out of thiscircumstance, I know it's going
(12:20):
to turn out better than Ithought, et cetera, et cetera.
But if it's in an area of yourlife where it's been a really
rough, long road rough, longroad and you haven't felt like
(12:46):
God has been present with youand speaking to your needs in
the moment on this long path Alot of us are on these long
again.
It's not something that'salways talked about in church,
right, because everything inchurch is let's tell you about
how God's going to resolve this.
It's like a sales approach,right, come here, we're going to
tell you how God's going tosolve this.
After you've lived for a while,you start to realize like God
(13:09):
doesn't solve everything and hecertainly doesn't just answer
everybody's prayers and there'sno one there's no one among us
who can say I can pray forwhatever and it's going to come
to pass.
Or I can pray or speaksomething that's going to happen
(13:31):
right now, going to happenright now.
Or I can tell the future abouthow God's going to straighten
this out or work this out orpuzzle this together or cobble
some solution together in thefuture.
I don't have any of that.
So the thing is that and for somany of us, we want more
(13:52):
answers in the now.
But it can be hard to get thatout of the Christian community,
because people want to tell youabout these other verses.
They want to sometimes justcriticize you for not resting in
those verses.
Hey, man, the verses God'sgoing to come through.
(14:12):
You don't even have to worryabout that.
Okay, really, I don't have toworry about it, because I didn't
worry about this shit the past17 years and I still have this
problem, like for me, I've hadsome health problems, some of
them stretch back decades.
So what are you going to say tome?
(14:32):
Are you saying you know, yeah,god, if it's right around the
corner, god's going to heal you?
Or don't worry, god's going tomake all this up to you.
Or don't worry anyway, because,man, in the end you're going to
die and you'll be in heaven andyou won't care and everything
will be good Like?
None of those answers feels goodto me right now.
Please do not tell me that shit, or at least don't tell that to
(14:55):
me all the time when I'mventing or I'm expressing some
desperation or frustration orwhatever.
Don't just be hitting me upwith that man.
When you do that too much, itreally comes off as cruel like
in my mind because you're notacknowledging that person's need
, you're acting like that needis kind of an aside and don't
(15:19):
worry about it.
Quit whining, quit complaining.
Look how you're blessed, bethankful, and that's the thing
is that there's room for all ofthese ideas and sentiments,
right.
There is a time when we feelgrateful, there is a time when
we feel rushed.
There's all these differenttimes and one thing that I would
(15:45):
say and you tell me in thecomments is this what you, what
do you say?
You say when you need somethingnow and you go to God with that
and it doesn't seem likeanything's happening, what do
you do?
I'm going to ask you what doyou do?
I could use some advice.
Do you just talk to somebodydifferent?
(16:06):
Do you just keep it to yourself?
Do you journal it?
Is there certain groups orsomething you belong to where
you feel like people are morewilling to hear that truth from
you of what you're going through, without criticizing you as if
it's something wrong with youthat you're having some trouble
(16:27):
just taking all this anxiety orfear or sadness or pain or
whatever and just pushing it offto some future date.
What do you do with it?
Tell me, gilfrefaithcom.
right now?
How about now?
I don't know about you, butwhen I ask God for help, I'm
really hoping he's going to comethrough right now, like without
delay.
Man, like if I'm sick, if Ifeel well and I pray, I'm hoping
(00:22):
you're going to step in rightnow.
If I have a money problem orsomething's going on at work,
I'm praying you're going to stepin to turn that around right
now.
Indeed, when I'm praying forothers and whatever their needs
are, I'm praying that's going tobe happening now, or at least
(00:45):
sooner than later.
Do you feel like that?
Can you relate to the idea ofwanting what you want now?
I think a lot of people can,but I don't think in the that is
really encouraged.
Let's say it this way In thechurch, we're frequently told
(01:10):
upon needing something that Godis going to provide, but that
provision is going to come onHis timeline.
It's going to come in His way,in the form that he wants it,
with the people and the timingand the context.
(01:30):
And basically, for one thing,you're thinking I don't want all
that other stuff, right, like Ijust want God to help me with
this thing.
Heal my leg that's broke, helpme find a higher paying job, let
me get that promotion.
Heal that relationship, heal mymarriage.
As human beings we often fretor worry about the future.
(01:53):
So our mind is out there, outrunning ahead, and then also we
tend to reminisce about the pastor perhaps reflect on things
that bring us down in the pastor make us sad about the past or
make us feel like we missedsomething from the past.
So then our mind is dwellingthere, but, as we're frequently
(02:18):
told, and as something that,like in Eastern philosophy,
there seems to be a much moreexplicit understanding of that,
we live essentially in aninfinite now.
We only live right now.
Everything else is either inour memory, in our imagination,
(02:42):
but that's it.
We are right here.
Imagination, but that's it.
We are right here.
And so, as people that livehere and now and in our moment,
that's where we feel the needright, that's where we feel the
wants, that's where we feel thedesires.
We feel them right now.
And so naturally, when we'refeeling that and we're asking
(03:02):
for help, we're hoping that'sdelivered right now, or
hopefully, there's like a realgood reason for it, or we know
that it's going to be deliveredsoon or we have.
If I can just wait this nextweek, then God's going to do
that, or God never gives us aprognosis for his response to
(03:22):
what we're asking for.
So we just we really don't knowif he's going to answer it.
Is it his will to answer it?
When will he answer it?
With what circumstances orthrough whom?
We wish that we would get thiscare package from God, or even
just an email back that justsays hey, man, yeah, I got your
prayer working on it.
(03:43):
We'll be in touch.
Like anything a read receive.
In our lives as human beings, wefeel much more comfortable
having some feedback when itcomes to having our needs met
right.
Most of us would not becomfortable, say, not knowing
where our next meal came from,or if we're going to be able to
get some gainful employment, orhow long we're going to be stuck
(04:08):
in a certain circumstance thatwe find just too uncomfortable
to remain in for like more thanis the time that's absolutely
necessary.
So I could tell you right nowif you feel like you're asking
things of God and you'refrustrated by not getting that
response in the now you're notalone.
(04:30):
Man Like I could totally relateto that.
I think many people can relateto that.
I think most people can relateto that.
The problem isn't that peopledon't feel that way.
The problem is, generally, asChristians, we don't let people
(04:50):
express that without kind ofbeating them back with all the
right things to say.
So you say something and whatdo people say?
They just start trotting outall the verses Not in my time,
it's in God's time, and God'stime isn't our time.
And what else have we got?
I hear them so often now Ican't remember them.
(05:11):
God has a plan for you to blessyou, or how about God is going
to multiply and restoreeverything that was lost from
the harvest.
So we have all these sayingsand promises and things that are
(05:33):
thrown at us when we need help.
And it's unfortunate, right,because we want to be able to
say just honestly yeah, dude, Ineed help and I wish God would
help me.
Like right now for a lot ofpeople in the company of many
Christians, you just can't getaway with that.
People look at you like you'retrying to override God, or you
(05:58):
think better than God, or you'rejust in your own earthly wisdom
and basically, so what do youdo?
So for me, if I'm in asituation and I'm trying to
express that and I'm withsomebody who is not going to
honor or respect what I'm sayingand they're just going to pare
it back to me all these verses.
There's only I guess there arethree options, but I'm certainly
(06:22):
not going to be arguing aboutit.
That's just a waste of time.
There's really only tworesponses I can either not bring
it up to them and just tototally avoid that conversation,
or I can just swallow it downand not really feel comfortable
with the message I'm being givenor what I'm supposed to be able
(06:47):
to hold on to peacefully, but Ijust swallow down anyway.
Okay, so you wind up likeberating yourself, or you could
just become very frustrated andangry, like at the person who's
pushing that down your throat,and or you could just be mad at
God about it.
Can you relate to that?
Have you ever been mad at God?
(07:08):
Have you ever been mad at Godbecause he didn't deliver
something for you, or he didn'tdeliver something for your loved
one, or he didn't deliversomething at your church or at
your workplace?
Have you ever been disappointedabout that?
Have you ever been mad aboutthat?
Because I can tell you you'renot alone.
(07:30):
I am like the poster boy fordisappointment and frustration
with God.
Okay, and I know I'm not alone.
I know I'm not alone, but in mydaily life I often have to walk
alone on that, because mostpeople and indeed most people
(07:56):
they're Christians or they'reaspiring to be Christians, or
however they would describethemselves, and they may be
confronting all these sameproblems.
But when someone brings it upto them, they're being told hey,
this is what you're supposed tosay, right?
What's the script that we'retaught to respond to people with
(08:18):
when they're disappointed orthey're in a hurry, or they feel
like things have gotten behind?
Let me tell you, I am totallybehind on tons of shit, right?
I'm behind in my career.
I'm behind in my health.
I'm behind in my relationships.
(08:38):
I'm behind.
There are so many things thathave happened over the years to
delay and redirect my path.
Now, granted, it is mine, right, like I'm trying to determine
that.
So somebody could say, yeah,your plan, jimmy, isn't working,
(09:04):
but that's because God has atotally different plan, so
things aren't actually late.
Or people say God's never late,god's always right on time.
Okay, I guess you can choose tolook at it that way.
Being right on time for memeans like right now.
Way, being right on time for memeans like right now.
You know what I'm saying.
God, you want to be on time.
If you're asking me, god, likewhat I want or need or whatever,
like I'm saying, I need you tocome through now.
(09:27):
The now is what I'm interestedin and indeed in the Bible, the
word now is used quite a bit, soit's not as if there's no value
in the now, maybe taken as awhole.
Looking at the Bible, like youcan see that there are a few
(09:49):
things going on at the same time.
Right, because sometimes itseems like people are being
encouraged or exhorted to dosomething or claim something
like right now, to take actionright now.
But that's not all the cases.
Some cases are forget the past,but the past behind you.
(10:11):
To shake the dust off your feetand move on to the next village
.
To shake the dust off your feetand move on to the next village
.
Then the third category, whichis here's what you need to be
looking forward to.
Here's what I am going to do togive you the victory.
When or how?
(10:31):
I'm not going to answer that,this would be God saying this,
but I am going to come throughand you can count on my promises
to you.
This situation for normal peoplewho don't have to pretend to be
super Christians or superpastors or the risen son of God
(10:52):
themselves, just to the normaleveryday person like us.
Now is a word that becomes veryproblematic when we talk about
our faith, because a lot ofthings that we don't like
happening are happening rightnow.
I'm having trouble with this.
(11:14):
Right now, my stomach hurts,like right now my loved one is
dealing with this situation intheir household.
Right now, someone in my churchgroup has a kid who just got
arrested last night.
This is stuff that's happeninglike right now.
How can we?
This is stuff that's happeninglike right now.
How can we?
(11:35):
Why should we even entertainthe idea of, yeah, that's yeah,
don't worry, because in thefuture that's going to be
resolved, or yeah, god has it inhand, or whatever?
I wish I had that type of faith,but a lot of the times that's
really not where I'm at.
It depends, right, it dependswhat's going on.
(11:57):
It depends how serious it is.
It depends what experiencesI've had with God in that
category.
If there's a category of yourlife where you feel like God has
really gotten your back and youhave a sense of security in it,
for those things it's going tobe much easier for you to be
like, oh well, hey, I'm good, Ican wait this out, I know God's
going to lift me out of thiscircumstance, I know it's going
(12:20):
to turn out better than Ithought, et cetera, et cetera.
But if it's in an area of yourlife where it's been a really
rough, long road rough, longroad and you haven't felt like
(12:46):
God has been present with youand speaking to your needs in
the moment on this long path Alot of us are on these long
again.
It's not something that'salways talked about in church,
right, because everything inchurch is let's tell you about
how God's going to resolve this.
It's like a sales approach,right, come here, we're going to
tell you how God's going tosolve this.
After you've lived for a while,you start to realize like God
(13:09):
doesn't solve everything and hecertainly doesn't just answer
everybody's prayers and there'sno one there's no one among us
who can say I can pray forwhatever and it's going to come
to pass.
Or I can pray or speaksomething that's going to happen
(13:31):
right now, going to happenright now.
Or I can tell the future abouthow God's going to straighten
this out or work this out orpuzzle this together or cobble
some solution together in thefuture.
I don't have any of that.
So the thing is that and for somany of us, we want more
(13:52):
answers in the now.
But it can be hard to get thatout of the Christian community,
because people want to tell youabout these other verses.
They want to sometimes justcriticize you for not resting in
those verses.
Hey, man, the verses God'sgoing to come through.
(14:12):
You don't even have to worryabout that.
Okay, really, I don't have toworry about it, because I didn't
worry about this shit the past17 years and I still have this
problem, like for me, I've hadsome health problems, some of
them stretch back decades.
So what are you going to say tome?
(14:32):
Are you saying you know, yeah,god, if it's right around the
corner, god's going to heal you?
Or don't worry, god's going tomake all this up to you.
Or don't worry anyway, because,man, in the end you're going to
die and you'll be in heaven andyou won't care and everything
will be good Like?
None of those answers feels goodto me right now.
Please do not tell me that shit, or at least don't tell that to
(14:55):
me all the time when I'mventing or I'm expressing some
desperation or frustration orwhatever.
Don't just be hitting me upwith that man.
When you do that too much, itreally comes off as cruel like
in my mind because you're notacknowledging that person's need
, you're acting like that needis kind of an aside and don't
(15:19):
worry about it.
Quit whining, quit complaining.
Look how you're blessed, bethankful, and that's the thing
is that there's room for all ofthese ideas and sentiments,
right.
There is a time when we feelgrateful, there is a time when
we feel rushed.
There's all these differenttimes and one thing that I would
(15:45):
say and you tell me in thecomments is this what you, what
do you say?
You say when you need somethingnow and you go to God with that
and it doesn't seem likeanything's happening, what do
you do?
I'm going to ask you what doyou do?
I could use some advice.
Do you just talk to somebodydifferent?
(16:06):
Do you just keep it to yourself?
Do you journal it?
Is there certain groups orsomething you belong to where
you feel like people are morewilling to hear that truth from
you of what you're going through, without criticizing you as if
it's something wrong with youthat you're having some trouble
(16:27):
just taking all this anxiety orfear or sadness or pain or
whatever and just pushing it offto some future date.
What do you do with it?
Tell me, gilfrefaithcom.
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