SHOW NOTES
In this episode of Habits for Humans with Kim Flynn, we discuss how Mary Crafts stopped looking for an instant fix so she could lose 100 pounds and keep it off forever. Learn the concrete principles of going from fear-based to love-based living.
Welcome to Habits for Humans, the show that explores how to build a life beyond "fine"--something spectacular, joyful, and deeply satisfying.
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OUR GUEST
Mary Crafts... Entrepreneur, Podcaster, author, motivational speaker, business and live 6 coach!
Podcasts: Craftingameaningfullife.libsyn.com
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Website: marycraftsinc.com
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OUR HOST
Kim Flynn is a best-selling author, podcaster and serial entrepreneur and has built multiple seven and eight-figure businesses. Her company made the Inc 5000 list of the fastest growing companies in the country. She splits her time living in Costa Rica and Salt lake City, teaching business owners how to run profitable retreats through her company Retreat Works. Kim has one husband, four kids, and a dog and loves spreadsheets.
Do you have expertise and a unique solution to a specific health and wellness problem? If you would like to be a guest on the show, apply here: https://habitsforhumans.com/contact/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Logitech BRIO (00:08):
Hi, and welcome to habits for humans.
The podcast that explores whatmakes people tick and how to
program this brain of ours.
And today we're going to betalking about this body of ours
as well to do what we want it todo.
I'm your host, Kim Flynn.
And today we're going to talk toa delightful woman that I've
actually known for years, butknown of and been acquaintances
of.
But recently we've had somereally good conversations.
(00:30):
As I was a guest on her podcastand this woman is amazing.
If you're looking for I don'tknow, just someone to look up to
Mary crafts is that person.
So I'm so delighted to introduceher to you.
She's going to talk today abouthow she has lost a hundred
pounds.
And that to me is very cool, butnot like the gist of it.
Like the gist of it is how doyou not only lose a hundred
(00:53):
pounds, but you change yourentire lifestyle.
And you maintain that lifestylefor many years.
Like you essentially becomesomeone new.
And so that's what I want totalk about Mary today hundred
pounds.
Great, awesome.
Lovely.
How do you become someone new?
That's what I'm reallyinterested in.
So we've got giveaways for ourlisteners at the end.
(01:14):
If you like free stuff staytuned until the end.
And first of all, a word fromour sponsor habits for humans is
brought to you by retreat works.
We train life coaches andbusiness coaches and wellness
business owners.
How to build a retreat in fivedays and bring in 50 K per
retreat while having more clientimpact.
(01:34):
So stay tuned, but how you canget involved if you are a coach
or a wellness business owner inthat program.
Mary welcome so much.
Let me introduce you with yourofficial bio.
Mary crafts is quite simply aliving legend who has that in
their bio.
Mary does.
She's quite simply a livinglegend from humble beginnings
and dire circumstances.
(01:54):
She is invested blood, sweat,and countless tears into
building.
What would become the mostcelebrated catering company in
Utah.
That multimillion empire becamethe launching pad for so much
more.
Today.
Mary has handed the reigns ofher catering empire to
incredibly gifted children whohave taken her company to the
next level.
While Mary turns her attentionto helping others build their
(02:14):
dreams.
Mary has a podcast.
She, I just read a magazine theother day and I was like, oh,
here's an article by Mary thatyou do on a regular basis.
She is on the boards of a bunchof different companies.
Mary welcome living.
Legend.
How are you doing today?
Kim, what a delight to be withyou and you are absolutely
right.
We've known each other fordecades.
(02:36):
But we haven't really connectedon that.
Fold the soul face-to-facelevel.
Until recently, and I love whatyou're doing.
In fact, I probably should signup for what you're doing, even
though I don't want to runretreats at my age.
I love to speak and I love to,but I just.
I'm not ready to take on thatlevel of.
Business commitment of doing anactual retreat and being
(02:57):
responsible for 50 people that.
Hey, it's been a journey for meand.
This summer in just a couplemonths, I turned 70.
And for me that is.
It almost brings tears to myeyes because I was someone for
so many years.
Who wondered if I would get thefifth.
He wondered if I would get to60.
(03:19):
And now I'm looking at 105straight ahead, and then I'm
going to have an option torenew.
So let's see.
What's happens then.
So it's been a a lifetransformation.
You mentioned that how I becamea different person.
So I want to go back and maybestart there.
Because I don't believe that Ihave become a different person.
(03:40):
I truly believe I am the essenceof who I have always spent.
Like I brought a bunch of stuffwith me when I got here, I'm
going to take a bunch of stuffwith me when I leave.
Even if you don't believe in thebefore and the after, even if
you believe in just now.
Things that I had as my essenceat birth.
(04:03):
For me, it was more a discovery.
Process of.
Who am I.
Not who am I?
Going to create.
And getting rid of all thethings that I learned with all,
it's not the craziest thing,Kim, that we have learned this
behavior from zero to seven oreight, somewhere in there.
(04:25):
And that, that those years arecreating.
For many people, the rest oftheir life.
If we don't go back and look atthose things we learned whether
they were healthy or not becauseour brain, at that point, isn't
developed enough.
We don't have a complete.
Cerebral cortex.
And so the part of the brainthat's using it's its own,
(04:48):
right.
Then.
Is the part that can't discern alie.
From truth.
So in those early years, if youwere shamed or if you were
continually told things likewhat's wrong with you, or why
can't you do this?
Or your sister doesn't have thatproblem or whatever it is that
you're told in those earlyyears, your bream lays it down
(05:10):
as true.
So we have to go back and unpackthat.
And say, wait a minute.
That was not a truth.
There was nothing wrong with me.
I am a beautiful individual.
So I'm going to tell yousomething now that has just
happened to me last week, andthen we'll go back and unpack
(05:31):
the brand.
But just last week, I waslistening to a podcast by Oprah
Winfrey.
I'm standing in front of mymirror, getting dressed every
day.
I have little post-it notes thatI read every morning.
There's self-affirmations.
And the one I put up mostrecently is I am the mountain.
And not conquering the mountain,but I am the mountain.
(05:51):
And so I was looking at aroundand over, came on and she was
talking about.
The shoe loves, truly loves whoshe is at this moment in time.
And I thought, looked in themirror and I said, I do too.
I truly can say I stand here andI love this person.
Then she went on to say, And Iloved the person that I was at
(06:16):
age 30.
And I've learned to love theperson I was at age 40.
And I've learned.
And I thought four.
I put, I actually literally putmy hands up and I went wait.
No.
I love this person today.
And totally love who I have justunfolded.
But you want me to go back andlove that person?
(06:38):
That person who weighed 284pounds.
You want me to.
To love that person that livedin Victorville.
You want me to love that personthat was being physically,
emotionally and verbally abusedand took it.
No.
No, I love this person.
Not that person.
(06:58):
And after the podcast was over,I sat down on the chair, in my
living, in my bedroom.
And just sat there.
And I thought this is anotherpiece fuming.
This is another piece for me tounpack.
So I sat there long enough, Kim.
To wrap my arms around myself.
And just begin to rock myselfand close my eyes.
(07:20):
And infusion.
That woman.
Who is me?
And everything she endured.
All the sadness, all theheartache.
And be able to say to her.
Thank you.
Thank you for being that womanthat endured those things and
learned the lessons.
(07:41):
That had the strength and theresilience to stick it out.
And to learn the lessons withoutyou.
I wouldn't be me.
And to see that wholeness, notas two separate beings for the
first time I began to see.
We're not two separate beings.
That person.
Was me.
(08:03):
And she was strong enough tobring me to today.
And it really has shifted mythinking in the last month.
So that thing about you can'tteach old dog new tricks.
Just forget about that.
The thing I say.
I've said into my book, I say atthe end of every podcast, Two
(08:24):
things that I want every personto remember.
It's never too late.
And nothing is impossible.
Wow.
Living legend here she is righthere.
So two things I have to commenton.
So first of all as a woman andI'm 47, I look around and I
(08:44):
think people who are youngerthan I am, are looking for the
same thing.
We're looking for someone whowas one step up from us.
We're looking for okay, whatdoes the next level of my life?
What could that look like?
And Mary here to make me all.
Altieri here, but how amazingthat you are putting yourself in
the spotlight and saying, thisis what 70 could look like.
(09:06):
Like how inspiring is that?
We do not have enough women intheir fifties, sixties,
seventies, eighties, nineties.
Out there and saying youactually have a role model.
You have mentors.
So that's pretty inspiring.
So first of all, thank you fordoing the hard work to put
yourself out there.
That's really appreciated when Ilook at you and say, first of
(09:28):
all, is that what 70 looks like?
Because damn girl.
Sign me up for seven days, firstof all.
And then just to hear that it wehave such a culture of young,
and you think, oh, when you'repast 25, you're past your prime
as a woman, because everythingin our culture is you have to be
young and just hearing from youfrom Oprah as a common Oprah
(09:48):
message as well is it only getsbetter.
It keeps getting better.
You embrace the more and moregrowth that you have.
And I think that's a messagethat we really, as women need to
promote, it's not about being25.
Your peak is now 70 for you.
So that's really inspiring tome.
The second big takeaway fromjust listening to you is the I
(10:11):
think what you're talking aboutis integrating shadow work,
right?
Like we're talking about thedarker sides of ourselves.
That we don't want to look at.
And rather than shaming that 284pound woman and saying you're
terrible, we are embracing her.
Will you talk to me, take us allthe way back to the moment when
you decided it's time for achange in my life.
And I actually really appreciatethat you're not changing who you
(10:32):
are.
You're just uncovering the pieceof who you really are.
Will you take us back to thatmoment?
Yes.
It for me I've always felt thatit was some traumatic thing that
happened to me, probablysexually between the ages of two
and four.
I'm not quite sure.
I've gone back and tried to dowork with that.
And I'm aware that there wassomething.
(10:55):
But what it is not within myconsciousness at this point.
You're like how I said that atthis point, it's still, maybe.
But it also came to therealization that it no longer
mattered.
What I'm doing today is whatmatters.
And I became an overweight childat somewhere around between the
(11:16):
ages four and five.
And struggled with that.
My entire life.
And I actually had lost a bunchof weight out of program.
Just before I got married andthat I got married and then
immediately after my firstchild, I began to gain it back.
And I was the definition of whata yo-yo person looked like.
(11:40):
Something new would come out thecabbage stew diet.
Oh yes.
And you need that chemist doingyou drop weight for three days
and find if you show me anotherpiece of cabbage, I'm going to
throw up.
And all those different things.
I did the Fen-Phen diet whenthat was popular and I lost a
bunch of weight, but the momentyou went off the fan, then you
were back up.
And so this is what my life waslike in the meanwhile I had
(12:03):
drawn into my life, a veryabusive relationship that was
physically, emotionally andverbally abusive.
He was bipolar.
He had a rage disorder, aparanoia disorder.
And then when I finally divorcedhim at age 55 It was undeniable
that he was also gay.
This is not a criticism of him.
(12:24):
If you notice, what I said wasthat I drew into my life.
And I think that's one of thereasons I emerged.
And it could emerge.
Triumphant is because everystep.
I was walking more and closerinto accountability.
And I was packing my bags.
(12:45):
Leading victim bill.
It was so many things I couldlook back and say I was that
because of, or I couldn't dothis because of this or I was
running my own company and Icouldn't possibly have time to
work out.
It'd be fit.
I just had to grab food as Iwent.
Working at.
And then you have a cateringcompany.
Trust me, you're not grabbingalways the best foods.
And how could I don't have timeto sleep longer.
(13:06):
The gym.
One year of excuse after anotheryear of excuse.
Finally at age 50.
I had a 50th birthday party.
And this is back when thereweren't cell phones, you didn't
have your photos instantly.
You had to send them into Kmartand then go pick them up a week
(13:26):
later.
I sound really old, but.
Okay.
But a week later, I went andpicked up those photos and I sat
in the parking lot of Kmart.
And as I looked through thosephotos, The tears.
Came.
Who's this.
At 284 pounds.
(13:47):
I never thought this is whereI'd be.
Somehow I thought I would havehandled it by now.
And I thought for just a moment.
Okay, that's it.
I'm going to have weight losssurgery.
And for me now, and I'm nottalking, this is for everyone.
But for me, I realized if I didthat, I was going to be doing
(14:08):
the same thing I had done withevery other diet.
Short cut the problem.
Try and really wire and find aneasier way.
When the actual essence of theproblem.
Lied.
In here.
It laid into Atlanta inside ofme.
In my brain.
Those programming things that Iwas not enough.
(14:31):
My fear of everything physical.
My fear of failure.
My fear of being rejected.
Being a lovable, all thoseissues were in my brain.
And I was simplyself-fulfilling.
If I had weight loss surgery.
That'd be great.
I'd probably lose.
But.
It would be right back.
(14:52):
I knew I had to deal with me.
And so I began making lists offears.
Because I realized that myentire life and everything in it
was based this part of thereason I was such an amazing
caterer.
I was so afraid of failing.
So afraid of disappointingsomeone so afraid of being
rejected.
I answered every phone call,even in the middle of the night.
(15:14):
Somebody needs something.
I would just jump in my car andrun.
I would leave my children in thecare of my husband, who I knew
was not the best caregiver.
Just to keep from failing andbeing rejected by my clients.
And I was like this is the pieceI need to work.
So as I would write down thesefears, And then sometimes I
(15:38):
would, whenever a thought wouldcome to me of.
I think I need to stop and get acandy bar.
Trust me, that thought was withme every day.
I need to stop.
The candy bar.
You have to have that spot toget to 284 pounds.
I need a dozen donuts.
And when I would think that theywait, okay.
There was the thought.
To put food in my mouth.
(15:58):
What was happening in my liferight before that thought.
And as you begin to see thesepatterns, They were oftentimes
when I was in the car andhiding.
By myself.
They were also pre they were mypre MTF.
Susie.
(16:18):
To going into stressfulsituations.
If I was coming home to myhusband, If I was going to see a
client or going to a networkingmeeting where I was a fear of
being rejected.
Was so huge in me.
I was they should've given me anacademy award.
I'm not kidding you.
I feel like I am the bestactress in the entire world for
(16:39):
decades.
People believe that I was fat,but that's okay.
Who can trust the skinny shelf?
And then Mary was just alwaysAchieving and doing all these
things.
I was the best actress outthere.
But when I made the commitmentto move.
From a fear-based life.
To a love based life.
(17:00):
Things changed.
And I began to see my motivationshift.
Come doing things on fear.
What if you did them?
And the first place I had tostart loving was self.
I'm just taking notes in how.
Every once in a while, whenyou're listening to a really
(17:20):
good speaker, you go into thishypnotic state of just like I'm
with you.
I'm here.
That's where I am right now.
I'm totally hypnotized by you.
So talk to me about howspecifically you move from
fear-based.
To love base.
Cause it sounds lovely.
Give me some details on that.
I got the details for you.
First of all the first step.
(17:41):
I don't know the entire pathway,but that's okay.
I am long ways down the path nowpoured a love-based life.
And I'm not sure how the rest ofthe path looks, but I do know
how this part of the path.
And the first step.
On the path.
Is vulnerability.
(18:03):
When I stepped into beingwilling.
To actually admit to myselfwhere the problems were.
And to allow others to see themas well.
To stop hiding.
I've recently re released a bookand my first book and my
favorite piece in that is when Isay.
(18:26):
The healing starts.
When the hiding stops.
And if you are hiding.
You are not healing.
I became aware of all the thingsI was hiding.
I'm still becoming aware.
It's crazy.
With my partner, John and I feellike I would share with him
(18:47):
anything.
But then of course, I'll bedoing something and because I'm
so tuned into it now.
I'll think, oh, I don't want, Idon't want John to know that I'm
like, what.
As soon as John gets here today,you're going to share this with
me.
You're going to step intovulnerability.
And what we learn, and this isthe most exciting piece.
It's what we've learned is thatthose things we have thought
(19:09):
we've needed to hide.
I, the very things that pupilembrace about you.
They embrace when you're real.
They embrace when you'reauthentic.
And you might be saying the samewords, but there are different
feeling and people get it.
We are emotionally smart people.
We tune in with this intuitionto people.
(19:32):
And we know when they're beinggenuine.
And when I actually began toshare my story and open up.
And I actually began to talkabout my marriage.
My struggles with my children.
My fears of not being a goodmom.
My, my fears of being inadequateand never enough.
(19:52):
I was embraced by people.
And they love to say.
I thought it was the only one.
What are you realizing thislife?
That you're not the only one.
In fact, you're not the onlyone.
You're everyone.
Then you have this huge supportgroup around you.
Yes.
Losing weight.
Was.
(20:12):
Not the easiest task, but italso was not the most difficult
was facing me.
And I found the weight chestkind of.
Did it One thing.
I instituted two techniques,right from the get-go.
Actually three.
And those techniques stayed withme.
(20:33):
To the entire weight loss of 140pounds.
I now weigh one 40.
I want to wait 1 39.
That's just a little thing.
I guess it's because I want tobe able to put that three down
and I haven't put that threedown.
Since give split.
I weighed 140 pounds.
When I was nine years old.
(20:56):
So I haven't been able to putthat down.
So this next week, my partnerand I, John we're going on a
vacation to Arizona, immigrantyouth golf in.
We're going to do a hiking inthe morning and golf in the
afternoon.
And I told John no wine,nothing.
This is we're going to eat superclean.
I'm going to come back and be 139.
(21:18):
But I'm also very happy withwhere I am.
I go to the, so these are mythree things I want to tell
them.
So people who are listeningthing.
That's all good.
Oh, what did you actually do?
It didn't just magically likethis.
Wasn't like the music man whereyou are, you could think music
and then play it.
That didn't work.
You I think you were losingweight and then didn't.
So I did three things.
The one is super easy, which isjust don't drink calories.
(21:40):
Juice shakes.
Coffee full of cream and sugarand everything else you want to
dump in there.
The.
Double caramel, caramel latte,blah, blah, blah.
Juice is one of the biggestculprits.
We think we're being healthy.
This drink water.
Water is the lifeblood of ourbodies and we flushed toxin
expert toxin.
When we can drink water.
(22:02):
That was a huge shift to mebecause I was a double diet Coke
drinker.
I would drive up to my favoritegas station and they would look
out, they wouldn't even wait forme.
They just start filling.
And if ever at work, I wasgetting stressed and I started
getting and yelling out ordersto people and people like, get
her a diet go.
And it was just the act offucking on that strong.
(22:24):
It would begin to calm me.
I found I can call myself inother ways, don't drink.
The second one.
Was amazingly easy for me, eventhough I had never stepped foot
in a gym in my life.
Never done anything physical.
As I had this tape in my brainthat said you're uncoordinated
(22:47):
and you can't do thingsphysical.
Now at my age and I wear my tanktop.
I'm strongest woman.
MIQ.
I hiked Kilimanjaro just beforeI turned 66.
I can do physical I'm learninggolf for crying out loud.
I learned pick a ball last year.
So going and having physicalactivity every day.
(23:10):
I don't care what it is.
This idea that you need to bephysical and go to the gym three
times a week out of who startedthat, but that's how much it'd
be.
Yes.
You need to be physical.
I need to be physical in my bodyevery single day.
And maybe it's just choosing,I'm going to focus down the
stairs in my house 10 times upand down.
Maybe it's, I'm just going to dosome yoga here on my floor.
Maybe it's I'm going to go.
(23:30):
And I'm going to burn 400calories in 30 minutes on the
cart, on the treadmill.
Maybe I'm going to pump someMeyer.
I love to pump iron.
And I just tell you.
So being physical everyday.
I made that commitment tomyself.
Now the last one.
And I feel was the biggest keyto my weight loss journey.
(23:50):
I made a commitment to myself.
And let me just tell you, thisis the difference between a
goal.
And the commitment.
I have set so many weight lossgoals and eating goals in my
entire life.
But when I find this, I have todo this.
I made a promise to myself.
A goal you can break and comeback.
(24:11):
How many times have we donethat?
Set a new goal.
But when you promise yousomeone, I promised myself.
That I was going to love my son.
And embrace myself.
Like I've never done before.
That's different.
And then if I did step out ofalignment, I was like, that's
out of alignment for who I am.
(24:33):
And then you could quickly putyourself back in.
So I made a commitment tomyself.
But at least for the initialweight loss journey, part of
this.
Through I, what I call theactive weight loss part, and
that lasted six years.
For me to lose this weight.
I did not eat after five.
(24:54):
And that is one of the biggestthings.
When I see people who arestruggling with weight and
their.
They're at the gym and they'rewanting to get through 15
minutes on the treadmill.
Hi, that was me 19 years ago.
I know what that's like.
And I see that big belly fat.
I know immediately what one oftheir issues is.
They're eating late.
(25:15):
And you can talk to any personwho knows.
But there's a medical doctor ora health.
Person will tell you that yourbody needs to rest.
When you go to bed at night.
The body needs to be doing whatit should do.
Clear the lymphatic system heal.
Any parts of you that are notworking quite right.
It does not want to digest food.
(25:37):
So instead of using the energyto do all the things it's
supposed to be doing, it pullsfrom, your, all those fat stores
you have, and it pulls fromdifferent things.
It pulls from what's in yourstomach and in your intestines.
So I usually went to bed around10.
I stopped eating at five.
So I had five hours to clear mystomach and that digestive
(25:58):
process.
I began to sleep better.
I began to wake up with moreenergy.
I began to see the weight dropoff.
People saying.
What if I get hungry?
I can't go hungry.
You know what for the puppy, thefirst three to five days, you're
going to think that.
But then when you start seeingthat you step on the scale in
(26:20):
the morning and you're a halfpound lighter.
Day after day.
And yes, we all hit plateaus.
That's all right.
What works, don't give up, keepgoing.
And.
Eventually.
Even triple it.
You're under 200 pounds.
You're under 150.
And then you there.
(26:43):
What's so powerful about thisMarissa.
So you would probably have beentold a million times.
Is, you did not buy into thequick fix diet I'm going to do
this quickly six years.
You said it took, this has takenme 50 years to get here.
Yeah, it's not going to be aquick fix.
Six years.
And I also, what I also love isit's not a strict regimented,
(27:06):
I'm going to have chicken andbroccoli and you didn't even pay
attention to what you're eating.
You're just like, no, I'm justgoing to not eat at night and
I'm going to fiercely lovemyself.
That's some powerful stuff.
What do you say to the personwho's like.
Yeah.
Love myself, whatever I'll workon that, but I just want to drop
the weight.
(27:28):
You can certainly do that.
That's right.
In your realm of possibility.
I'll love you regardless becauseI did that.
I know.
But permanent weight loss.
Has to be inside.
Your mind has to begin to seeyou.
As this ideal person that youhave always dreamed you were.
(27:50):
And when I say idea, thatdoesn't mean perfect.
Cause I'm not talking aboutperfection here.
I'm a recovering perfectionist.
And I always say, perfectionismwill kill you.
But excellent.
Will inspire you every day ofyour life.
All I ask of myself and all,anyone should ask of themselves.
(28:10):
Is that they bring their bestevery day.
And when I'm at the gym and I'mthinking.
Dang I'm exhausted today.
No wonder because I did this andI'm like, okay, I think I'll
just cut this short.
I asked myself at that moment.
Is this your very best.
Are you leaving anything on thetable?
And suddenly my energy.
Level skyrockets and I take off.
(28:32):
These aren't from thinkingabout, oh, I'm only two pounds
away from my goal.
I have, I don't think about myweight.
At those moments.
I think about.
When I promised myself.
And you can focus on weightloss.
And I will treat her otherthings I did along the way.
I began to eliminate a poisonfrom my diet.
(28:52):
Quezon being refinedcarbohydrates.
Refined sugars.
White bread, white pasta.
White rice.
I just avoid white basically.
I do those things.
I increased my What I ate for interms of fresh vegetables and.
I put fresh, finished and chiaseeds in anything.
It's oh, that could use chiaseeds.
(29:14):
Oh, that needs to have a littlespecial niche in it.
So it's yes.
You become more aware of thatwas things.
And you do.
I do what feels good in yourbody?
I think about how I feel when Ieat all of ice cream.
Versus how I feel if I have.
Oh, I start with a little bit ofavocado oil.
(29:34):
Throwing some spinach and Tulsathat up.
And then I throw in some otherlittle wonderful things.
And then I crack a couple ofscrambled eggs in there and I
stir it all together and Isprinkled a little cheese on
top.
It's warm, it's filling, it'sloving.
And then of course, when I serveit, I put on top what chia
seeds.
So it sounds like yourphilosophy is don't start with
(29:56):
the prescriptive.
What should I eat and how, and,oh, I need to change this to
this, and I need to start addingbroccoli.
I need to start adding to.
And it's ignore all that garbagethat will come naturally.
As you start taking care ofyourself, and then as you start
listening to your body, you'relike, oh no, I actually really
do feel good when I eat spinachand I eat.
So it's reversed.
(30:17):
It's I start taking the stepsnow and then eventually the
healthier eating joins me.
Is that right?
Absolutely.
So it.
There are a lot of people whoare hoping today for quick fix
for me.
She, how did she lose?
140 pounds.
I want to do that.
It's not a quick fix.
It's not a quick fix.
(30:37):
It's yourself permanently.
I've been 19 years now.
Do you know how that changes mytrajectory?
I can't tell you how excited Iam to get out of bed in the
morning now.
I would like everybody to startright there.
When you go to bed at night.
Lay down.
And just listen to your body.
(30:59):
Lay there for just a moment.
Feel what tensions you need torelease.
Through where those tensionscame from.
What things was I afraid oftoday?
What things did I push throughand I can pat myself on the
back.
And what things don't want to bebring park to my focus tomorrow.
And let it go at night.
(31:22):
And rest deeply.
And when you wake in themorning, I laid there for just a
minute.
Thinking about.
What my day was going to belike, it's going to be like,
fill myself with gratitude.
That I had such a wonderfulnight's sleep.
Or if I didn't, I say.
I'm so grateful that tonight I'mgoing to have a great flow, a
(31:43):
wonderful night's sleep.
I'm always grateful if I didn'talready have it, then I'm
grateful.
What's coming.
If I went to bed.
And I wasn't feeling well.
And I was coughing.
I had a stuffy nose.
I was healed.
I am so grateful, but I'm goingto feel better in the morning.
And so you're setting yourselfup with those positive
affirmations all the time.
I believe that's a criticalpiece to it.
(32:05):
Start with positiveaffirmations.
Then think about what you canadjust on your eating plan, but
a small changes.
Think what you can do to adjustyour physical activity.
And then what steps are yougoing to use to step into loving
yourself?
I've given you the first onetoday.
Vulnerability.
(32:26):
Stop hiding.
Whenever you're hiding.
You're not healing.
Whenever you're a vulnerable.
The great news.
You are healing.
Powerful stuff, Mary powerfulstuff.
As we wrap up today, I just wantto give, because Mary gave us so
many, habits that we canactually put into play.
I wanted to recap them just atthe end here.
(32:48):
So when she was starting tochange, not just her weight,
cause it was all inside.
As it always is.
She wrote out a list of herfears.
I think that's key.
And then when she went to eatsomething, she would just think
what is happening right nowbefore she started to eat it.
(33:09):
And as she said, the key toeverything is vulnerability
being honest about those fears,being honest about what's going
on for you on the inside.
And then when she started tostep into actual weight loss,
Once the brain shifted, then shewent into a rules or commitments
that worked for her.
But as she just said, I lovethat.
(33:29):
Adjust small find it doesn'treally matter what, where you
start on the path.
Just start on one of the paths.
For Mary, the path was don'tdrink calories physical every
day.
But the big overarching is lovemyself.
Like I have never loved myselfbefore.
And that means incrediblekindness and grace, when you
slip up, when you don't.
(33:51):
Act perfectly according to thosegoals.
Which I love.
And then the biggie, the bighabit is let's start tonight.
Let's start tonight askingourselves, how do I feel?
So I feel right now, Mary.
Wow.
That felt like a book.
I know you have a book.
Will you tell us about your bookand your podcast?
(34:11):
Yes.
My book is called unbounded fromsorrow to summit.
And so yes, the stories aremine.
But the principles areuniversal.
Of how to release these fearsthat have found us up like
cords.
And holding us tight in ourlife.
And if you have dreams.
(34:31):
You cannot find them if you'rebound.
You can not experience them.
So I walk you through theprocess of how to Unbound those
fears from your mind.
And step into your very bestversion of yourself.
My best version today.
You can interview me next year.
I'll be different.
(34:52):
Because I'm continually evolvingand finding that.
So I really think that my bookis a great place to start, but
my podcast.
I now have 200.
73 of them or something likethat.
And don't necessarily just startto beginning and listen through
to the end.
They all have titles.
They all have descriptions.
And just talk through until yousee one.
I particularly liked the onesthat have me as the guest or Kim
(35:14):
as a guest, all those arewonderful and something will
speak to you.
And then listen.
And now their audio as well asvideo.
And you can find them reallyit's called crafting a
meaningful life.
Cause my name is Mary crafts.
And but the best place to go forall of this is my website.
Which is Mary crafts, inc.com,Inc.
(35:34):
B N I N C nine K.
Cause I don't do tattoos.
So Mary crafts like arts andcrafts, not like the cheese,
Mary crafts, inc.com.
And I would love to talk to anyof you and have any of you reach
out to me.
And I'm about that right now, mylife is filled with mentoring
and helping and lifting myselfand others.
(35:57):
And please note how I said that.
I'm lifting myself.
And others.
Because where it starts is here.
As I lift myself, my ability tolift others.
Just explode.
Love it.
So all the links are whereveryou're watching this.
All the links are there again,go to Mary's website, Mary
(36:20):
crafts, inc.com for the book andfor links to her podcast and
everything else she's doing so,so powerful.
Mary and I, and It's so fun tointerview someone who is at a
stage beyond me in life, becausethe mentorship piece isn't
mentioned when you're 35, right?
Like when you're 35, you're allabout growing yourself, growing
(36:40):
your life.
But it's so beautiful to listento someone at almost 70.
I want to give you that 69 foras long as I can.
Almost 70 saying, no, this isthe stage of life.
That's all about mentoring.
So thank you for being a mentor.
To everyone that's coming behindyou.
So as we wrap things up reminderthat the goal of this podcast is
to instill wellness habits.
(37:01):
And Mary has given us many todayinto your daily life to build a
life beyond.
It's fine.
Let's achieve spectacular.
Let's achieve joyful.
That's achieved, deeplysatisfying.
And I want to add to thathonest, and vulnerable.
We have a giveaway from oursponsor retreat works.
We've got free live trainingfrom yours truly.
If you are a life coach, abusiness coach, or have a
(37:24):
wellness business, you can add ahigh-end retreat to your
business and bring in an extra50 K in sales.
Even if you don't have afollowing.
Go to retreat.works and justlike Mary has a unique URL.
My URL is not a.com.
It's a retreat.works andregister for a free masterclass.
I do them a couple times amonth, so they're called five
days to build a retreat.
(37:45):
And I want to invite you to jointhat if you are a coach or a
wellness business owner whowants to learn how to add
retreats.
Mary.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
This has been a favorite ofmine.
Really, I feel like you couldtranscribe this and you have a
book, mary's yeah, I alreadywrote it.
Go to my website and get it.
So thank you to Mary.
Thank you to all of ourlisteners and thank you in
(38:07):
advance for giving us a positivereview.
Thanks everyone.
Hi, and welcome to habits for humans.
The podcast that explores whatmakes people tick and how to
program this brain of ours.
And today we're going to betalking about this body of ours
as well to do what we want it todo.
I'm your host, Kim Flynn.
And today we're going to talk toa delightful woman that I've
actually known for years, butknown of and been acquaintances
of.
But recently we've had somereally good conversations.
(00:30):
As I was a guest on her podcastand this woman is amazing.
If you're looking for I don'tknow, just someone to look up to
Mary crafts is that person.
So I'm so delighted to introduceher to you.
She's going to talk today abouthow she has lost a hundred
pounds.
And that to me is very cool, butnot like the gist of it.
Like the gist of it is how doyou not only lose a hundred
(00:53):
pounds, but you change yourentire lifestyle.
And you maintain that lifestylefor many years.
Like you essentially becomesomeone new.
And so that's what I want totalk about Mary today hundred
pounds.
Great, awesome.
Lovely.
How do you become someone new?
That's what I'm reallyinterested in.
So we've got giveaways for ourlisteners at the end.
(01:14):
If you like free stuff staytuned until the end.
And first of all, a word fromour sponsor habits for humans is
brought to you by retreat works.
We train life coaches andbusiness coaches and wellness
business owners.
How to build a retreat in fivedays and bring in 50 K per
retreat while having more clientimpact.
(01:34):
So stay tuned, but how you canget involved if you are a coach
or a wellness business owner inthat program.
Mary welcome so much.
Let me introduce you with yourofficial bio.
Mary crafts is quite simply aliving legend who has that in
their bio.
Mary does.
She's quite simply a livinglegend from humble beginnings
and dire circumstances.
(01:54):
She is invested blood, sweat,and countless tears into
building.
What would become the mostcelebrated catering company in
Utah.
That multimillion empire becamethe launching pad for so much
more.
Today.
Mary has handed the reigns ofher catering empire to
incredibly gifted children whohave taken her company to the
next level.
While Mary turns her attentionto helping others build their
(02:14):
dreams.
Mary has a podcast.
She, I just read a magazine theother day and I was like, oh,
here's an article by Mary thatyou do on a regular basis.
She is on the boards of a bunchof different companies.
Mary welcome living.
Legend.
How are you doing today?
Kim, what a delight to be withyou and you are absolutely
right.
We've known each other fordecades.
(02:36):
But we haven't really connectedon that.
Fold the soul face-to-facelevel.
Until recently, and I love whatyou're doing.
In fact, I probably should signup for what you're doing, even
though I don't want to runretreats at my age.
I love to speak and I love to,but I just.
I'm not ready to take on thatlevel of.
Business commitment of doing anactual retreat and being
(02:57):
responsible for 50 people that.
Hey, it's been a journey for meand.
This summer in just a couplemonths, I turned 70.
And for me that is.
It almost brings tears to myeyes because I was someone for
so many years.
Who wondered if I would get thefifth.
He wondered if I would get to60.
(03:19):
And now I'm looking at 105straight ahead, and then I'm
going to have an option torenew.
So let's see.
What's happens then.
So it's been a a lifetransformation.
You mentioned that how I becamea different person.
So I want to go back and maybestart there.
Because I don't believe that Ihave become a different person.
(03:40):
I truly believe I am the essenceof who I have always spent.
Like I brought a bunch of stuffwith me when I got here, I'm
going to take a bunch of stuffwith me when I leave.
Even if you don't believe in thebefore and the after, even if
you believe in just now.
Things that I had as my essenceat birth.
(04:03):
For me, it was more a discovery.
Process of.
Who am I.
Not who am I?
Going to create.
And getting rid of all thethings that I learned with all,
it's not the craziest thing,Kim, that we have learned this
behavior from zero to seven oreight, somewhere in there.
(04:25):
And that, that those years arecreating.
For many people, the rest oftheir life.
If we don't go back and look atthose things we learned whether
they were healthy or not becauseour brain, at that point, isn't
developed enough.
We don't have a complete.
Cerebral cortex.
And so the part of the brainthat's using it's its own,
(04:48):
right.
Then.
Is the part that can't discern alie.
From truth.
So in those early years, if youwere shamed or if you were
continually told things likewhat's wrong with you, or why
can't you do this?
Or your sister doesn't have thatproblem or whatever it is that
you're told in those earlyyears, your bream lays it down
(05:10):
as true.
So we have to go back and unpackthat.
And say, wait a minute.
That was not a truth.
There was nothing wrong with me.
I am a beautiful individual.
So I'm going to tell yousomething now that has just
happened to me last week, andthen we'll go back and unpack
(05:31):
the brand.
But just last week, I waslistening to a podcast by Oprah
Winfrey.
I'm standing in front of mymirror, getting dressed every
day.
I have little post-it notes thatI read every morning.
There's self-affirmations.
And the one I put up mostrecently is I am the mountain.
And not conquering the mountain,but I am the mountain.
(05:51):
And so I was looking at aroundand over, came on and she was
talking about.
The shoe loves, truly loves whoshe is at this moment in time.
And I thought, looked in themirror and I said, I do too.
I truly can say I stand here andI love this person.
Then she went on to say, And Iloved the person that I was at
(06:16):
age 30.
And I've learned to love theperson I was at age 40.
And I've learned.
And I thought four.
I put, I actually literally putmy hands up and I went wait.
No.
I love this person today.
And totally love who I have justunfolded.
But you want me to go back andlove that person?
(06:38):
That person who weighed 284pounds.
You want me to.
To love that person that livedin Victorville.
You want me to love that personthat was being physically,
emotionally and verbally abusedand took it.
No.
No, I love this person.
Not that person.
(06:58):
And after the podcast was over,I sat down on the chair, in my
living, in my bedroom.
And just sat there.
And I thought this is anotherpiece fuming.
This is another piece for me tounpack.
So I sat there long enough, Kim.
To wrap my arms around myself.
And just begin to rock myselfand close my eyes.
(07:20):
And infusion.
That woman.
Who is me?
And everything she endured.
All the sadness, all theheartache.
And be able to say to her.
Thank you.
Thank you for being that womanthat endured those things and
learned the lessons.
(07:41):
That had the strength and theresilience to stick it out.
And to learn the lessons withoutyou.
I wouldn't be me.
And to see that wholeness, notas two separate beings for the
first time I began to see.
We're not two separate beings.
That person.
Was me.
(08:03):
And she was strong enough tobring me to today.
And it really has shifted mythinking in the last month.
So that thing about you can'tteach old dog new tricks.
Just forget about that.
The thing I say.
I've said into my book, I say atthe end of every podcast, Two
(08:24):
things that I want every personto remember.
It's never too late.
And nothing is impossible.
Wow.
Living legend here she is righthere.
So two things I have to commenton.
So first of all as a woman andI'm 47, I look around and I
(08:44):
think people who are youngerthan I am, are looking for the
same thing.
We're looking for someone whowas one step up from us.
We're looking for okay, whatdoes the next level of my life?
What could that look like?
And Mary here to make me all.
Altieri here, but how amazingthat you are putting yourself in
the spotlight and saying, thisis what 70 could look like.
(09:06):
Like how inspiring is that?
We do not have enough women intheir fifties, sixties,
seventies, eighties, nineties.
Out there and saying youactually have a role model.
You have mentors.
So that's pretty inspiring.
So first of all, thank you fordoing the hard work to put
yourself out there.
That's really appreciated when Ilook at you and say, first of
(09:28):
all, is that what 70 looks like?
Because damn girl.
Sign me up for seven days, firstof all.
And then just to hear that it wehave such a culture of young,
and you think, oh, when you'repast 25, you're past your prime
as a woman, because everythingin our culture is you have to be
young and just hearing from youfrom Oprah as a common Oprah
(09:48):
message as well is it only getsbetter.
It keeps getting better.
You embrace the more and moregrowth that you have.
And I think that's a messagethat we really, as women need to
promote, it's not about being25.
Your peak is now 70 for you.
So that's really inspiring tome.
The second big takeaway fromjust listening to you is the I
(10:11):
think what you're talking aboutis integrating shadow work,
right?
Like we're talking about thedarker sides of ourselves.
That we don't want to look at.
And rather than shaming that 284pound woman and saying you're
terrible, we are embracing her.
Will you talk to me, take us allthe way back to the moment when
you decided it's time for achange in my life.
And I actually really appreciatethat you're not changing who you
(10:32):
are.
You're just uncovering the pieceof who you really are.
Will you take us back to thatmoment?
Yes.
It for me I've always felt thatit was some traumatic thing that
happened to me, probablysexually between the ages of two
and four.
I'm not quite sure.
I've gone back and tried to dowork with that.
And I'm aware that there wassomething.
(10:55):
But what it is not within myconsciousness at this point.
You're like how I said that atthis point, it's still, maybe.
But it also came to therealization that it no longer
mattered.
What I'm doing today is whatmatters.
And I became an overweight childat somewhere around between the
(11:16):
ages four and five.
And struggled with that.
My entire life.
And I actually had lost a bunchof weight out of program.
Just before I got married andthat I got married and then
immediately after my firstchild, I began to gain it back.
And I was the definition of whata yo-yo person looked like.
(11:40):
Something new would come out thecabbage stew diet.
Oh yes.
And you need that chemist doingyou drop weight for three days
and find if you show me anotherpiece of cabbage, I'm going to
throw up.
And all those different things.
I did the Fen-Phen diet whenthat was popular and I lost a
bunch of weight, but the momentyou went off the fan, then you
were back up.
And so this is what my life waslike in the meanwhile I had
(12:03):
drawn into my life, a veryabusive relationship that was
physically, emotionally andverbally abusive.
He was bipolar.
He had a rage disorder, aparanoia disorder.
And then when I finally divorcedhim at age 55 It was undeniable
that he was also gay.
This is not a criticism of him.
(12:24):
If you notice, what I said wasthat I drew into my life.
And I think that's one of thereasons I emerged.
And it could emerge.
Triumphant is because everystep.
I was walking more and closerinto accountability.
And I was packing my bags.
(12:45):
Leading victim bill.
It was so many things I couldlook back and say I was that
because of, or I couldn't dothis because of this or I was
running my own company and Icouldn't possibly have time to
work out.
It'd be fit.
I just had to grab food as Iwent.
Working at.
And then you have a cateringcompany.
Trust me, you're not grabbingalways the best foods.
And how could I don't have timeto sleep longer.
(13:06):
The gym.
One year of excuse after anotheryear of excuse.
Finally at age 50.
I had a 50th birthday party.
And this is back when thereweren't cell phones, you didn't
have your photos instantly.
You had to send them into Kmartand then go pick them up a week
(13:26):
later.
I sound really old, but.
Okay.
But a week later, I went andpicked up those photos and I sat
in the parking lot of Kmart.
And as I looked through thosephotos, The tears.
Came.
Who's this.
At 284 pounds.
(13:47):
I never thought this is whereI'd be.
Somehow I thought I would havehandled it by now.
And I thought for just a moment.
Okay, that's it.
I'm going to have weight losssurgery.
And for me now, and I'm nottalking, this is for everyone.
But for me, I realized if I didthat, I was going to be doing
(14:08):
the same thing I had done withevery other diet.
Short cut the problem.
Try and really wire and find aneasier way.
When the actual essence of theproblem.
Lied.
In here.
It laid into Atlanta inside ofme.
In my brain.
Those programming things that Iwas not enough.
(14:31):
My fear of everything physical.
My fear of failure.
My fear of being rejected.
Being a lovable, all thoseissues were in my brain.
And I was simplyself-fulfilling.
If I had weight loss surgery.
That'd be great.
I'd probably lose.
But.
It would be right back.
(14:52):
I knew I had to deal with me.
And so I began making lists offears.
Because I realized that myentire life and everything in it
was based this part of thereason I was such an amazing
caterer.
I was so afraid of failing.
So afraid of disappointingsomeone so afraid of being
rejected.
I answered every phone call,even in the middle of the night.
(15:14):
Somebody needs something.
I would just jump in my car andrun.
I would leave my children in thecare of my husband, who I knew
was not the best caregiver.
Just to keep from failing andbeing rejected by my clients.
And I was like this is the pieceI need to work.
So as I would write down thesefears, And then sometimes I
(15:38):
would, whenever a thought wouldcome to me of.
I think I need to stop and get acandy bar.
Trust me, that thought was withme every day.
I need to stop.
The candy bar.
You have to have that spot toget to 284 pounds.
I need a dozen donuts.
And when I would think that theywait, okay.
There was the thought.
To put food in my mouth.
(15:58):
What was happening in my liferight before that thought.
And as you begin to see thesepatterns, They were oftentimes
when I was in the car andhiding.
By myself.
They were also pre they were mypre MTF.
Susie.
(16:18):
To going into stressfulsituations.
If I was coming home to myhusband, If I was going to see a
client or going to a networkingmeeting where I was a fear of
being rejected.
Was so huge in me.
I was they should've given me anacademy award.
I'm not kidding you.
I feel like I am the bestactress in the entire world for
(16:39):
decades.
People believe that I was fat,but that's okay.
Who can trust the skinny shelf?
And then Mary was just alwaysAchieving and doing all these
things.
I was the best actress outthere.
But when I made the commitmentto move.
From a fear-based life.
To a love based life.
(17:00):
Things changed.
And I began to see my motivationshift.
Come doing things on fear.
What if you did them?
And the first place I had tostart loving was self.
I'm just taking notes in how.
Every once in a while, whenyou're listening to a really
(17:20):
good speaker, you go into thishypnotic state of just like I'm
with you.
I'm here.
That's where I am right now.
I'm totally hypnotized by you.
So talk to me about howspecifically you move from
fear-based.
To love base.
Cause it sounds lovely.
Give me some details on that.
I got the details for you.
First of all the first step.
(17:41):
I don't know the entire pathway,but that's okay.
I am long ways down the path nowpoured a love-based life.
And I'm not sure how the rest ofthe path looks, but I do know
how this part of the path.
And the first step.
On the path.
Is vulnerability.
(18:03):
When I stepped into beingwilling.
To actually admit to myselfwhere the problems were.
And to allow others to see themas well.
To stop hiding.
I've recently re released a bookand my first book and my
favorite piece in that is when Isay.
(18:26):
The healing starts.
When the hiding stops.
And if you are hiding.
You are not healing.
I became aware of all the thingsI was hiding.
I'm still becoming aware.
It's crazy.
With my partner, John and I feellike I would share with him
(18:47):
anything.
But then of course, I'll bedoing something and because I'm
so tuned into it now.
I'll think, oh, I don't want, Idon't want John to know that I'm
like, what.
As soon as John gets here today,you're going to share this with
me.
You're going to step intovulnerability.
And what we learn, and this isthe most exciting piece.
It's what we've learned is thatthose things we have thought
(19:09):
we've needed to hide.
I, the very things that pupilembrace about you.
They embrace when you're real.
They embrace when you'reauthentic.
And you might be saying the samewords, but there are different
feeling and people get it.
We are emotionally smart people.
We tune in with this intuitionto people.
(19:32):
And we know when they're beinggenuine.
And when I actually began toshare my story and open up.
And I actually began to talkabout my marriage.
My struggles with my children.
My fears of not being a goodmom.
My, my fears of being inadequateand never enough.
(19:52):
I was embraced by people.
And they love to say.
I thought it was the only one.
What are you realizing thislife?
That you're not the only one.
In fact, you're not the onlyone.
You're everyone.
Then you have this huge supportgroup around you.
Yes.
Losing weight.
Was.
(20:12):
Not the easiest task, but italso was not the most difficult
was facing me.
And I found the weight chestkind of.
Did it One thing.
I instituted two techniques,right from the get-go.
Actually three.
And those techniques stayed withme.
(20:33):
To the entire weight loss of 140pounds.
I now weigh one 40.
I want to wait 1 39.
That's just a little thing.
I guess it's because I want tobe able to put that three down
and I haven't put that threedown.
Since give split.
I weighed 140 pounds.
When I was nine years old.
(20:56):
So I haven't been able to putthat down.
So this next week, my partnerand I, John we're going on a
vacation to Arizona, immigrantyouth golf in.
We're going to do a hiking inthe morning and golf in the
afternoon.
And I told John no wine,nothing.
This is we're going to eat superclean.
I'm going to come back and be 139.
(21:18):
But I'm also very happy withwhere I am.
I go to the, so these are mythree things I want to tell
them.
So people who are listeningthing.
That's all good.
Oh, what did you actually do?
It didn't just magically likethis.
Wasn't like the music man whereyou are, you could think music
and then play it.
That didn't work.
You I think you were losingweight and then didn't.
So I did three things.
The one is super easy, which isjust don't drink calories.
(21:40):
Juice shakes.
Coffee full of cream and sugarand everything else you want to
dump in there.
The.
Double caramel, caramel latte,blah, blah, blah.
Juice is one of the biggestculprits.
We think we're being healthy.
This drink water.
Water is the lifeblood of ourbodies and we flushed toxin
expert toxin.
When we can drink water.
(22:02):
That was a huge shift to mebecause I was a double diet Coke
drinker.
I would drive up to my favoritegas station and they would look
out, they wouldn't even wait forme.
They just start filling.
And if ever at work, I wasgetting stressed and I started
getting and yelling out ordersto people and people like, get
her a diet go.
And it was just the act offucking on that strong.
(22:24):
It would begin to calm me.
I found I can call myself inother ways, don't drink.
The second one.
Was amazingly easy for me, eventhough I had never stepped foot
in a gym in my life.
Never done anything physical.
As I had this tape in my brainthat said you're uncoordinated
(22:47):
and you can't do thingsphysical.
Now at my age and I wear my tanktop.
I'm strongest woman.
MIQ.
I hiked Kilimanjaro just beforeI turned 66.
I can do physical I'm learninggolf for crying out loud.
I learned pick a ball last year.
So going and having physicalactivity every day.
(23:10):
I don't care what it is.
This idea that you need to bephysical and go to the gym three
times a week out of who startedthat, but that's how much it'd
be.
Yes.
You need to be physical.
I need to be physical in my bodyevery single day.
And maybe it's just choosing,I'm going to focus down the
stairs in my house 10 times upand down.
Maybe it's, I'm just going to dosome yoga here on my floor.
Maybe it's I'm going to go.
(23:30):
And I'm going to burn 400calories in 30 minutes on the
cart, on the treadmill.
Maybe I'm going to pump someMeyer.
I love to pump iron.
And I just tell you.
So being physical everyday.
I made that commitment tomyself.
Now the last one.
And I feel was the biggest keyto my weight loss journey.
(23:50):
I made a commitment to myself.
And let me just tell you, thisis the difference between a
goal.
And the commitment.
I have set so many weight lossgoals and eating goals in my
entire life.
But when I find this, I have todo this.
I made a promise to myself.
A goal you can break and comeback.
(24:11):
How many times have we donethat?
Set a new goal.
But when you promise yousomeone, I promised myself.
That I was going to love my son.
And embrace myself.
Like I've never done before.
That's different.
And then if I did step out ofalignment, I was like, that's
out of alignment for who I am.
(24:33):
And then you could quickly putyourself back in.
So I made a commitment tomyself.
But at least for the initialweight loss journey, part of
this.
Through I, what I call theactive weight loss part, and
that lasted six years.
For me to lose this weight.
I did not eat after five.
(24:54):
And that is one of the biggestthings.
When I see people who arestruggling with weight and
their.
They're at the gym and they'rewanting to get through 15
minutes on the treadmill.
Hi, that was me 19 years ago.
I know what that's like.
And I see that big belly fat.
I know immediately what one oftheir issues is.
They're eating late.
(25:15):
And you can talk to any personwho knows.
But there's a medical doctor ora health.
Person will tell you that yourbody needs to rest.
When you go to bed at night.
The body needs to be doing whatit should do.
Clear the lymphatic system heal.
Any parts of you that are notworking quite right.
It does not want to digest food.
(25:37):
So instead of using the energyto do all the things it's
supposed to be doing, it pullsfrom, your, all those fat stores
you have, and it pulls fromdifferent things.
It pulls from what's in yourstomach and in your intestines.
So I usually went to bed around10.
I stopped eating at five.
So I had five hours to clear mystomach and that digestive
(25:58):
process.
I began to sleep better.
I began to wake up with moreenergy.
I began to see the weight dropoff.
People saying.
What if I get hungry?
I can't go hungry.
You know what for the puppy, thefirst three to five days, you're
going to think that.
But then when you start seeingthat you step on the scale in
(26:20):
the morning and you're a halfpound lighter.
Day after day.
And yes, we all hit plateaus.
That's all right.
What works, don't give up, keepgoing.
And.
Eventually.
Even triple it.
You're under 200 pounds.
You're under 150.
And then you there.
(26:43):
What's so powerful about thisMarissa.
So you would probably have beentold a million times.
Is, you did not buy into thequick fix diet I'm going to do
this quickly six years.
You said it took, this has takenme 50 years to get here.
Yeah, it's not going to be aquick fix.
Six years.
And I also, what I also love isit's not a strict regimented,
(27:06):
I'm going to have chicken andbroccoli and you didn't even pay
attention to what you're eating.
You're just like, no, I'm justgoing to not eat at night and
I'm going to fiercely lovemyself.
That's some powerful stuff.
What do you say to the personwho's like.
Yeah.
Love myself, whatever I'll workon that, but I just want to drop
the weight.
(27:28):
You can certainly do that.
That's right.
In your realm of possibility.
I'll love you regardless becauseI did that.
I know.
But permanent weight loss.
Has to be inside.
Your mind has to begin to seeyou.
As this ideal person that youhave always dreamed you were.
(27:50):
And when I say idea, thatdoesn't mean perfect.
Cause I'm not talking aboutperfection here.
I'm a recovering perfectionist.
And I always say, perfectionismwill kill you.
But excellent.
Will inspire you every day ofyour life.
All I ask of myself and all,anyone should ask of themselves.
(28:10):
Is that they bring their bestevery day.
And when I'm at the gym and I'mthinking.
Dang I'm exhausted today.
No wonder because I did this andI'm like, okay, I think I'll
just cut this short.
I asked myself at that moment.
Is this your very best.
Are you leaving anything on thetable?
And suddenly my energy.
Level skyrockets and I take off.
(28:32):
These aren't from thinkingabout, oh, I'm only two pounds
away from my goal.
I have, I don't think about myweight.
At those moments.
I think about.
When I promised myself.
And you can focus on weightloss.
And I will treat her otherthings I did along the way.
I began to eliminate a poisonfrom my diet.
(28:52):
Quezon being refinedcarbohydrates.
Refined sugars.
White bread, white pasta.
White rice.
I just avoid white basically.
I do those things.
I increased my What I ate for interms of fresh vegetables and.
I put fresh, finished and chiaseeds in anything.
It's oh, that could use chiaseeds.
(29:14):
Oh, that needs to have a littlespecial niche in it.
So it's yes.
You become more aware of thatwas things.
And you do.
I do what feels good in yourbody?
I think about how I feel when Ieat all of ice cream.
Versus how I feel if I have.
Oh, I start with a little bit ofavocado oil.
(29:34):
Throwing some spinach and Tulsathat up.
And then I throw in some otherlittle wonderful things.
And then I crack a couple ofscrambled eggs in there and I
stir it all together and Isprinkled a little cheese on
top.
It's warm, it's filling, it'sloving.
And then of course, when I serveit, I put on top what chia
seeds.
So it sounds like yourphilosophy is don't start with
(29:56):
the prescriptive.
What should I eat and how, and,oh, I need to change this to
this, and I need to start addingbroccoli.
I need to start adding to.
And it's ignore all that garbagethat will come naturally.
As you start taking care ofyourself, and then as you start
listening to your body, you'relike, oh no, I actually really
do feel good when I eat spinachand I eat.
So it's reversed.
(30:17):
It's I start taking the stepsnow and then eventually the
healthier eating joins me.
Is that right?
Absolutely.
So it.
There are a lot of people whoare hoping today for quick fix
for me.
She, how did she lose?
140 pounds.
I want to do that.
It's not a quick fix.
It's not a quick fix.
(30:37):
It's yourself permanently.
I've been 19 years now.
Do you know how that changes mytrajectory?
I can't tell you how excited Iam to get out of bed in the
morning now.
I would like everybody to startright there.
When you go to bed at night.
Lay down.
And just listen to your body.
(30:59):
Lay there for just a moment.
Feel what tensions you need torelease.
Through where those tensionscame from.
What things was I afraid oftoday?
What things did I push throughand I can pat myself on the
back.
And what things don't want to bebring park to my focus tomorrow.
And let it go at night.
(31:22):
And rest deeply.
And when you wake in themorning, I laid there for just a
minute.
Thinking about.
What my day was going to belike, it's going to be like,
fill myself with gratitude.
That I had such a wonderfulnight's sleep.
Or if I didn't, I say.
I'm so grateful that tonight I'mgoing to have a great flow, a
(31:43):
wonderful night's sleep.
I'm always grateful if I didn'talready have it, then I'm
grateful.
What's coming.
If I went to bed.
And I wasn't feeling well.
And I was coughing.
I had a stuffy nose.
I was healed.
I am so grateful, but I'm goingto feel better in the morning.
And so you're setting yourselfup with those positive
affirmations all the time.
I believe that's a criticalpiece to it.
(32:05):
Start with positiveaffirmations.
Then think about what you canadjust on your eating plan, but
a small changes.
Think what you can do to adjustyour physical activity.
And then what steps are yougoing to use to step into loving
yourself?
I've given you the first onetoday.
Vulnerability.
(32:26):
Stop hiding.
Whenever you're hiding.
You're not healing.
Whenever you're a vulnerable.
The great news.
You are healing.
Powerful stuff, Mary powerfulstuff.
As we wrap up today, I just wantto give, because Mary gave us so
many, habits that we canactually put into play.
I wanted to recap them just atthe end here.
(32:48):
So when she was starting tochange, not just her weight,
cause it was all inside.
As it always is.
She wrote out a list of herfears.
I think that's key.
And then when she went to eatsomething, she would just think
what is happening right nowbefore she started to eat it.
(33:09):
And as she said, the key toeverything is vulnerability
being honest about those fears,being honest about what's going
on for you on the inside.
And then when she started tostep into actual weight loss,
Once the brain shifted, then shewent into a rules or commitments
that worked for her.
But as she just said, I lovethat.
(33:29):
Adjust small find it doesn'treally matter what, where you
start on the path.
Just start on one of the paths.
For Mary, the path was don'tdrink calories physical every
day.
But the big overarching is lovemyself.
Like I have never loved myselfbefore.
And that means incrediblekindness and grace, when you
slip up, when you don't.
(33:51):
Act perfectly according to thosegoals.
Which I love.
And then the biggie, the bighabit is let's start tonight.
Let's start tonight askingourselves, how do I feel?
So I feel right now, Mary.
Wow.
That felt like a book.
I know you have a book.
Will you tell us about your bookand your podcast?
(34:11):
Yes.
My book is called unbounded fromsorrow to summit.
And so yes, the stories aremine.
But the principles areuniversal.
Of how to release these fearsthat have found us up like
cords.
And holding us tight in ourlife.
And if you have dreams.
(34:31):
You cannot find them if you'rebound.
You can not experience them.
So I walk you through theprocess of how to Unbound those
fears from your mind.
And step into your very bestversion of yourself.
My best version today.
You can interview me next year.
I'll be different.
(34:52):
Because I'm continually evolvingand finding that.
So I really think that my bookis a great place to start, but
my podcast.
I now have 200.
73 of them or something likethat.
And don't necessarily just startto beginning and listen through
to the end.
They all have titles.
They all have descriptions.
And just talk through until yousee one.
I particularly liked the onesthat have me as the guest or Kim
(35:14):
as a guest, all those arewonderful and something will
speak to you.
And then listen.
And now their audio as well asvideo.
And you can find them reallyit's called crafting a
meaningful life.
Cause my name is Mary crafts.
And but the best place to go forall of this is my website.
Which is Mary crafts, inc.com,Inc.
(35:34):
B N I N C nine K.
Cause I don't do tattoos.
So Mary crafts like arts andcrafts, not like the cheese,
Mary crafts, inc.com.
And I would love to talk to anyof you and have any of you reach
out to me.
And I'm about that right now, mylife is filled with mentoring
and helping and lifting myselfand others.
(35:57):
And please note how I said that.
I'm lifting myself.
And others.
Because where it starts is here.
As I lift myself, my ability tolift others.
Just explode.
Love it.
So all the links are whereveryou're watching this.
All the links are there again,go to Mary's website, Mary
(36:20):
crafts, inc.com for the book andfor links to her podcast and
everything else she's doing so,so powerful.
Mary and I, and It's so fun tointerview someone who is at a
stage beyond me in life, becausethe mentorship piece isn't
mentioned when you're 35, right?
Like when you're 35, you're allabout growing yourself, growing
(36:40):
your life.
But it's so beautiful to listento someone at almost 70.
I want to give you that 69 foras long as I can.
Almost 70 saying, no, this isthe stage of life.
That's all about mentoring.
So thank you for being a mentor.
To everyone that's coming behindyou.
So as we wrap things up reminderthat the goal of this podcast is
to instill wellness habits.
(37:01):
And Mary has given us many todayinto your daily life to build a
life beyond.
It's fine.
Let's achieve spectacular.
Let's achieve joyful.
That's achieved, deeplysatisfying.
And I want to add to thathonest, and vulnerable.
We have a giveaway from oursponsor retreat works.
We've got free live trainingfrom yours truly.
If you are a life coach, abusiness coach, or have a
(37:24):
wellness business, you can add ahigh-end retreat to your
business and bring in an extra50 K in sales.
Even if you don't have afollowing.
Go to retreat.works and justlike Mary has a unique URL.
My URL is not a.com.
It's a retreat.works andregister for a free masterclass.
I do them a couple times amonth, so they're called five
days to build a retreat.
(37:45):
And I want to invite you to jointhat if you are a coach or a
wellness business owner whowants to learn how to add
retreats.
Mary.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
This has been a favorite ofmine.
Really, I feel like you couldtranscribe this and you have a
book, mary's yeah, I alreadywrote it.
Go to my website and get it.
So thank you to Mary.
Thank you to all of ourlisteners and thank you in
(38:07):
advance for giving us a positivereview.
Thanks everyone.
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