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June 11, 2025 58 mins

In this powerful episode, Raven O’Neal sits down with Elaine Lin Hering, recovering attorney, author, and expert in communication, to discuss her book, "Unlearning Silence."

Together, they explore the deeply personal and societal layers that shape our ability (or inability) to speak up. From the influence of identity and culture to the challenges of parenting while unlearning generational silence, Elaine shares honest reflections and actionable strategies for reclaiming your voice.

Whether you’ve ever bitten your tongue in a meeting or struggled to express your needs at home, this conversation will challenge and empower you to reexamine what you’ve learned about silence and what’s possible when you start speaking up.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

  • Elaine Lin Hering is a recovering attorney turned author.
  • The book 'Unlearning Silence' addresses the challenges of speaking up.
  • Silence can be a learned behavior influenced by identity and environment.
  • Understanding one's values is crucial for effective communication.
  • Asking oneself, "What do I think? What do I need?" fosters self-awareness.
  • Parenting involves modeling the use of one's voice for children.
  • Experimentation is key to unlearning silence and finding one's voice.
  • It's important to recognize the power dynamics in conversations.
  • The journey of unlearning silence is ongoing and requires effort.
  • Everyone has the potential to change and evolve their voice.


DISCUSSION TIMELINE

  • 04:11 The Journey to Unlearning Silence
  • 07:06 Navigating Group Dynamics and Personal Agency1
  • 0:20 The Structure of the Book and Its Evolution
  • 12:56 Understanding Layers of Identity
  • 16:11 Finding Your Voice and Values
  • 18:51 The Process of Change and Self-Discovery
  • 22:10 The Long Journey of Writing the Book
  • 30:59 The Journey of Self-Evolution
  • 34:13 Embracing Change in Relationships
  • 37:03 Asking for What You Need
  • 40:17 The Cost of Silence
  • 44:20 Living Intentionally and Experimentation
  • 47:41 Parenting and Unlearning Silence
  • 53:39 Practical Hacks for Empowerment


CONNECT WITH ELAINE

Buy Elaine's book, "Unlearning Silence" elainelinhering.com/book/

Elaine's Website: elainelinhering.com/

Elaine on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainelinhering/

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