Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to
another episode of Hair what I'm
Saying.
Today we have a very specialguest, hillary Washington
Goodner.
Hillary is a dedicated schoolteacher, a loving wife to a
minister and a proud mother oftwo.
She is here to share herpersonal journey with postpartum
hair loss, offering insight,encouragement and practical
advice for other moms goingthrough the same experience.
(00:21):
We'll be diving into herchallenges, what she's learned
along the way and how sheregained confidence in her hair
and herself.
But before we get into the show, do me a favor share this
episode with someone who ispregnant or has recently had a
baby.
Postpartum hair loss is areality for so many women and
spreading awareness can helpthem feel supported and prepared
(00:42):
for the journey ahead.
Welcome to the Hair what I'mSaying podcast.
I'm your host, kenetra Stewart.
Today we have HillaryWashington Goodner joining us to
talk about postpartum hair loss.
Welcome to the show.
How are you, hi?
Thank you for having me.
I'm so happy to be here.
Of course, thank you foraccepting the invite.
Of course, I really appreciatethat.
When you jumped on, I was likeyes, because I saw you had even
(01:04):
responded when I was looking fora guest and I was like I'm sure
Hillary probably got someexperience with this Let me just
reach out and nudge and seewhat she'd be interested in.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
I wanted to give
somebody else a chance because I
was a little like nervous aboutbeing on the podcast.
But I was also excited aboutlike the topic coming up,
because it really is animportant topic that is
affecting women who are givingbirth, things of the sort, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
So yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
I wanted to join in
Well.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I think I need to
take that as a cue from here on
out, like maybe people arescared and maybe I just need to
jump in and say hey, will you beon the podcast?
You know, I choose you.
Yeah, and I have some inquiries.
I was just like you know, I hadlike a small little interview
and I was like I don't know ifit's going to.
I know we've had multipleconversations behind the chair
(01:52):
and I already know how theconversation can kind of flow
and go, and so with them I justwanted to be a little bit more
deep, right, right, you know,and it was just kind of surface.
I'm like I want y'all to reachto my listeners' hearts and like
really speak to them, you know,so they can know like they're
not alone.
This is an experience you know.
Most women that get pregnant.
They're going to experience it,you know yes for sure.
(02:13):
Yeah, I just feel like you werethe best candidate Period, you
know.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Period.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Okay, all right girl,
so can you introduce yourself
to our listeners and let us knowa little bit about your
background?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Of course.
Well, my name is HillaryWashington Goodner.
I go by Hillary Goodner, youknow, officially got the name
change.
You know we're married now.
All right, miss Goodner, I am,of course, a mom of two.
I am a teacher, I am a wife, Iam a creator.
I am just all the things.
(02:48):
I'm busy.
That's what I am.
Yes, you are.
I am so busy.
A little bit about me.
I am hair illiterate.
I don't know nothing aboutdoing nobody's hair.
I don't know nothing aboutdoing my hair.
We just be out here makingsomething happen.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Well, your, we just
be out here making something
happen well, your hair looksgreat.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Okay, so I I think
maybe in your mind you don't
think, but your hair looksamazing.
Look, I said I'm coming off mygirl, I'm about to put my best
foot forward.
We're gonna get in this mirror.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
We're gonna learn to
do something, and I did that you
look good too, thank, you sowhen did you first start
noticing changes in your hairafter you gave birth?
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Oh, my, okay.
So I have two girls and so thefirst time I gave birth I really
didn't notice any changes in myhair after I had given birth,
like whenever I was pregnantwith her, like my hair had
gotten noticeably thicker, likeI mean, like you're not putting
your finger through, ain'trunning your fingers through
nothing like very dense, verythick, very compact, but I
(03:51):
didn't really notice any likehair loss with her but my second
child.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
That was when I
experienced it okay, and that
was truly an experience, uh-huh,tell us about.
Tell us about it, tell us aboutit.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Yes.
So it kind of actually happenedin two phases.
And so I gave birth to her inJuly and during that time, like
I had braids in and I wasnoticing that, even when I had
the braids in, like my hairstarted thinning like especially
around the edges, some placesin the middle.
So I was like oh, was like okay, well, it's nothing crazy, so
(04:28):
maybe we're good, you know.
And that was around the time,like you know, had just given
birth, um was doing the wholething with like breastfeeding,
was still kind of like takingprenatal vitamins here and there
, and so the thinning to mewasn't problematic.
I was thinking maybe it wasjust like the stress, but I
actually experienced hair lossabout six months later.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
So in.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
January I had a new
set of braids in and Kenetra.
I'm telling you, I'm taking thebraids out and I'm like looking
at like my hair just likecoming out, and at first I was
like, okay, this is more thanjust like your average, like
(05:13):
braid shedding.
This is like the hair is comingout.
And I remember, and I was so itwas so funny because I was so
calm about it, because I waslike okay, I think this is
happening.
I got, this is happening.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I had two handles.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
I figured, that's how
you would handle it right like
that's your energy girl, youraura.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
So I'm not surprised
to hear that.
I would have been moresurprised if you say you would
have responded more dramatically.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
I was like very calm
about it, but like it was very
striking how much hair I hadlost.
Like I mean, I had two handfulsof hair, not to mention like
the hair that was in the shower,the hair that was like in the
sink.
I was so shocked that I hadlost so much hair and like I was
also like well, well, dang,like I mean, yes, be yourself,
(06:00):
okay, please.
I was like well, damn, like Ialready got low um density hair,
so like losing so much hair,I'm like well, I ain't about to
have no hair on my head.
Yeah, like where is it going?
Like what, what am I gonna looklike?
right, right, right right and Iremember even then, like the
spacing in my hair was reallyoff, like it was like really
uneven, my ends were really dryand brittle, like my hair was
(06:24):
like woo yeah it was like it'sunmanageable.
Yes, and I remember, like justlooking in the mirror and saying
to myself, like what am I gonnado?
Because, like I said when Istarted, like I don't know
nothing about no hair, I don'tknow how to do no hair and
losing all of this hair now thatI have never experienced before
(06:46):
, yeah, what am I going to do?
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Yeah, so did you have
any?
Okay?
So once it set in, like,obviously I'm losing hair, Did
you relate it to postpartum hairloss?
Definitely.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
I knew that it was
that Like I had already known
like, and I think that was kindof why I was so calm about it.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Oh, because you
already knew what it was Because
I was like okay yeah, this ispostpartum hair loss Like this
is what it is.
Did you know what it was beforeyou even started having kids?
Had you ever heard ofpostpartum hair loss?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
No, because honestly,
like I wasn't really that
wasn't like my lane, I wasn'tthinking about kids at that time
.
You know, like I didn't haveany friends or people around me
who had had a baby given birth,so like that just kind of wasn't
my area of expertise, okay, andso it wasn't until, like, I
actually got pregnant.
And you know, you're watchingall the videos, you read all the
(07:33):
things, yeah, yeah yeah, so itwas when you started, you know,
becoming a mom that's when youlearn like there's a thing
called postpartum hair loss, yes, uh-huh, and I was like, oh my
god, that never finds me scroll.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
But and, but they
look at me social media too,
girl, tiktok university, see,and because you know you think
about it, my daughter is 16,uh-huh, so when I first
experienced it, I'm thinking Igot a bad relaxer right.
My hair is coming like becauseit started at the perimeter
first, like you said the edges.
So I'm thinking like did sheleave the relaxer on too long?
(08:08):
Like what happened?
Because I got a relaxerliterally around the time I
started experiencing all thathair loss.
Yes, and I thought that forlike four years.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Let me tell you After
the fact and I knew like I
trust my braiders.
My braiders are great, likethey've always taken care of my
hair, like my hair looks great,it's like great in the braids
and I knew that it wasn't that.
Yeah, and like you don't wantto kind of go down a rabbit hole
of like well, was it this, wasit that?
Like you know, all the thingsthat I was like you know the
(08:39):
most obvious.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Yeah, and see, that's
why I do love TikTok and
Instagram and all these socialmedia platforms, because y'all
can kind of get ahead of all ofthis stuff, you know for sure
you know, like I told you, forfour years I was really stuck on
.
That was a bad relax.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
But not knowing like
no, you experienced that because
you just had a baby.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
There's a thing
called postpartum hair loss,
which is so shocking, like ofall the things that we can
experience.
Right, we just had the baby.
You know we up all night.
If you're breastfeeding, you'redoing it with that.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
And I'm about to lose
my hair, and I'm about to lose
my hair.
Lord, lord, pick a struggle.
Just give me one, right, justgive me one.
So for you it happened theopposite.
For me, I experienced it withmy daughter, but not with my son
.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
So my first and not
my second.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
See, that's crazy.
Yeah.
So, um, did you tell me about,like, any new hairstyles?
What did?
What was your first solution totry to solve this?
Like, what did you do?
Or did you even try?
Or were you just too busy beinga mom?
You just like forget it?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
I'll worry about it
later it was a little bit of all
of that like after I lost thehair.
Um, I really just kind of likelooked at myself and I like was
like no girl you need to lock in.
Like I really want to grow myhair out.
That's like just kind of beenlike my goal, my new year's
resolution, whatever you want tocall it.
Like I want to grow my hair outto like the healthiest it's
been, to the longest it's been,to like the strongest it's been.
(10:00):
And so, after losing all ofthat hair and looking at myself
and just like also thinkingabout where I am in my life with
, like my husband being aminister, you know, being a mom
also, just being a woman, wantto take care of myself and just
like look presentable.
I already just said I'm like no, like I'm going.
(10:23):
Being a wife and only having somany hours in a day doing hair
almost feels like an extra test.
It sure does.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
It is an extra test.
Yes, it's really like.
You know, it's good for yourmental well-being when you have
time, but it also can be verydaunting on your well-being as
well.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Exactly, and again, I
don't know how to do.
No hair very daunting on yourwell-being as well exactly, and
again, I don't know how to do nohair.
Yeah.
So having to like researchproducts, having to think about
like okay, how can I fit this inmy schedule, what's the style
that's gonna last?
like how can I get in the mirrorand do this like it really felt
like okay, this is an uphillbattle, but if you wanted, you
have to work for it that's rightand that's just kind of like
(11:04):
where I've been with it, and so,like some of the styles I was
trying, if I don't know how todo this, I know how to twist my
hair, so you know we're gonna doa nice little twist.
Though, yeah, we're gonna likedo some um, like a flat twist
and like wear that in the styleand so just like trying to find
ways to like give my hair abreak from the braids yeah, low
manipulation, yes, lowmanipulation, like low heat,
(11:24):
like just something to do to myhair, to just like find a style
that looks good, that lasts, butthen also like that I feel like
really good in.
You know, absolutely, and I'vereally settled on like this
curly, like do I?
Speaker 1 (11:38):
love my hair.
The perm rise set, but you knowwe used to do the flexi ride
set so the flexi ride.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
You did my first one
and I've been hooked since then.
I've been hooked since then and, like I actually did it for a
wedding I went to recently, likethis past weekend, oh yeah, and
it came out so perfect.
I was like girl, I was in themirror praying, I was like lord
lord, if you love me, you willhelp me get this hair together
so that I'm not at this weddinglooking crazy but you know, like
(12:08):
we gotta get in the mirror, yes, but you know like when you're
trying a new style, you alreadythinking in your head okay, if
this don't work out, I can do itlike this you know trying to
figure it out and that's whatI'm doing, but it worked out,
thank God.
And Because they usually don't,I'm going to keep doing that.
Ooh, because they tell youbefore you go someplace, don't
try nothing new, don't try, I ama strong believer.
(12:29):
You hear me?
That's me in the mirror tryingnothing new.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
I am a strong
believer in not ever trying
nothing new.
You know when you goingsomewhere, because you just
never know you never, know, andmy best friend taught me that,
because for our senior portraitsshe decides she want to wax her
mustache for her seniorportraits and you know this is
(12:54):
not professional equipment andshe don't have professional
experience and girl, she rippedthat thing off and ripped skin
off.
Oh lord, thank god she wasgreat at makeup but you know she
taught me that when I was 17.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Like I will never try
nothing and I'm so happy that
you are the type person you are,because some people got to be
in the class to get the lesson.
Oh no, you said, I ain't gottabe in the class to get the
lesson.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Some stuff I do, but
that no, I was like I'll never
do that.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
I will never, ever do
that because I'm glad it worked
out for you I may have to too,Because, girl, I was like I
can't go through this weddinglooking crazy.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
No, you cannot, you
cannot.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
But I was at that
wedding looking bomb girl the
hair was nice.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
What'd you say the
dress was looking.
What'd you say?
You was bomb.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
That's right that
part right there.
I know that's right.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Okay, so we kind of
talked about your initial
thoughts.
You said you were more calm.
Were there any days where itkind of felt devastating, where
you knew that there was hope onthe other side, you know, or
there was, eventually your hairwas going to grow back, right,
you know.
But did the results come backas quick as you wanted them to,
(14:00):
or was it really a journey and aprocess?
Speaker 2 (14:04):
It's still been a
journey.
I think I've been really calmabout it the entire time Because
in my mind, just like you said,like it's hair, it's going to
grow back.
You know, like I'm not puttingthat much like emphasis on it to
where, like, my confidence isaffected.
The only thing that wasaffected really confidence-wise
(14:27):
was, like my confidence in am Igoing to be able to do my hair
and get my hair and hit thegoals that I want to hit.
I still feel like I'm that girlhave no hair.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
You are girl, let me
take.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
So like my confidence
wasn't affected because of that
, it was more so like theconfidence in my ability and so
that and execute yeah, because,like I knew that I had goals but
, like I said, I really don't.
Like I get in the mirror andlike it just feels like greek up
here, like girl.
What is going on?
Like?
What are these products doing?
Am I using the right things?
(14:56):
Like I got this low porosityhair, what this mean?
Do I what I?
use like because the hair is sofast there's so many things and
there's so many people tellingyou you shouldn't do this and do
this, and it's like you reallyhave to figure it out for
yourself you do, and some ofthese things they recommend you
not to do actually sometimeswork for you.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
It just didn't work
for them and that's okay.
Exactly that's why I'd be likedo what works for you, exactly,
you know it's.
So.
It's too much information outhere, you know, to pinpoint your
whatever your journey needs tobe for you.
It's too much information outhere, you know, to pinpoint your
whatever your journey needs tobe for you.
It's too much information foryou to just try to listen to
everybody, and I think that'swhy a lot of us don't enjoy our
hair journey, you know, becauseit's just too much going on.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
That's exactly it,
and so like it really has been a
journey where, in a way, I'mgiving myself that space to
discover and to actually figureout.
Okay, like you like this, youdon't like this, you know.
If you desire this result, it'sokay to stretch your hair or
like oh, to make this style last, you can do it like this you
(15:57):
know, sleeping with the silkpillow cases, like and these are
things that you know, we'veheard, you know through, we've
heard you know through a video,hairstylists, through
conversation but like, puttinginto practice now has really
helped me to actually increasemy confidence.
Now we're not way there, butit's increasing, yeah, and I'm
really like You're getting there.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
That's all that
matters.
I'm proud about it.
Progress yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
And I feel really
good about that.
Good, but you know the biginitial like striking loss, that
happened like early January andso we are what mid-March now?
Yeah, so still really recent,but like I think it's been going
well.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Yeah, it is going
well.
Yeah, I had to cut mine offinto a pixie.
It was so bad Really.
Yeah, mine was very bad.
It was, I bet, a pixie.
Look good on you, though.
It took some time for me toadjust, and even my family too,
because you know, my hair hasalways been at least bobbling,
yes.
So when I came home with thathaircut, nobody acknowledged it.
(16:55):
I was like they don't like it.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Oh, my goodness, See,
that would have sent me through
the roof.
I would have been like you knowwhat.
Let me go get that wig.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Girl and wigs were
not a big thing back then.
Right, we're talking aboutearly 2000s, wow, you know.
Yeah, so a wig was like that'swhat grandma did.
We didn't wear wigs, you know,it was like so in error, but I
really didn't have no hair toreally.
Right, you know, we hadpartials.
There were no closures, so thebreakage was so unruly that it
(17:26):
wouldn't even lay down.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
That's crazy yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
So if I wanted to
leave out, it was just gonna be
poking up or sticking up and so,uh, my sauce was like, girl, we
gotta cut it.
We have to cut this off into apixie.
But when I came home I realizedlike this wasn't a great move.
It was just a move I had to do.
I'm like I am in here lookingdramatically different, right
and everybody just carrying onconversation and pretending like
they're not we're not going toacknowledge her.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
We're just going to
move on.
She had that baby.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
She's just going
through a phase in her life.
Oh my gosh, it might havehappened, maybe almost like nine
months later.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Wow, and that's so
crazy, like that timeline,
because again, like Iexperienced it in two parts Yep,
like the initial, like maybetwo months after, and then yep,
like the initial, like maybe twomonths after, and then like the
big one, like six months afteryep, and it's just like crazy
how that happened, like did youdo anything different?
Like what was I don't know.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
I think, um, when I
could not style my hair no more,
you know, like the edges wereso broke that I would try to
apply a product to it and itwouldn't lie down.
And so that's when I reallynoticed, because it just kind of
started at the sideburn areaand then it just increasingly
just went around the perimeterand then it started receding.
Yes, and I only had this middle.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Oh yeah, so I had to
cut it all up Because, like, my
hairline has always been justlike really even, like really
like straight across, like justvery like even in terms of like
the hair distribution.
Yeah, girl, when I saw themedges leaving and receding and I
was having like gaps, I waslike, oh my God, this is it.
I can't be out here lookinglike that.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Yes, Because you know
the kids be quick to be like
she ain't got no edges and youaround the kids.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Oh, that's right, I
ain't got no edges.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
And what I'm going to
say.
I'm just going to sit there,girl.
I be seeing the TikToks.
I be like Lord, I couldn't be.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Listen, you got to be
a strong confident person you
do, and you got to be kind ofready to give it back a little
bit too, absolutely, oh, Iwouldn't be having punchlines.
School refines my sarcasm yearafter year, because let me tell
you, I gotta be ready becausethey be quick or they'll be like
you ain't got no edges butyou're still cute girl.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
At least they back
door with a compliment.
Some of them just leave youthere with your feelings.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
You ain't got no
edges, but you a good teacher.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
What they gotta do
this ain't got nothing to do
with my hair girl.
Oh kids, were there any mythsor misconceptions that you heard
about postpartum hair lossbefore?
Hmm?
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Um, I don't know if
there was anything that I heard
per se.
I think the biggest gap, I'llsay, for me was not seeing women
with my hair type go through it, and so my idea of postpartum
was always like the women withlike just like naturally
straight or just like the longerhair and it's just like, oh,
(20:17):
I'm pulling my hair and it comesout, or it's like just like
really straight hair, like I hadnever really seen women like
type 4 texture or like a kinkyor a coyly texture go through
postpartum and like what thatlooked like.
And so when I experienced it andI'm like looking online, like,
okay, postpartum hair loss, um,for 4c hair, like you know, then
(20:42):
a few things started coming upbut you really don't see a lot,
no, and that was kind of like,okay, well, what is it like?
What does it look like?
Right, you know, how do I growmy hair back, like how does like
what does this actually looklike for people who look like me
?
Yeah for sure.
And so that was kind of like, Iguess, like the myth of per se,
(21:04):
like the gap, the misconception, like it's just there's not for
me, at least from what I'veseen, things look like people
that look like me who'veexperienced hair loss.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Yeah, it's not a lot.
Do you feel like we're just notas open to being vulnerable on
the platform when it comes tohair loss, since I feel like
with us, as Black women, ouridentity can sometimes be
associated with?
Speaker 2 (21:29):
our hair.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
So do you think it's
that, or what do you think
that's a?
Speaker 2 (21:33):
really great question
.
I think that has something todo with it, because I remember I
was like I want to show her apicture, but I was looking at my
camera roll I couldn't evenfind a picture.
So I kind of like went off thegrid after I lost hair a little
bit in terms of likephotographing myself.
(21:54):
And so maybe for some reason, orfor some women, that is
something that they're like, youknow, like because our hair
really is tied to our identity.
You know how we style our hair,how we wear our hair, how we
feel about our hair like allthis tied to our identity, and
so it's not surprising that Ididn't see anything, but it was
(22:15):
still surprising Because this isan issue that affects women who
give birth, have kids, all thethings.
And so it was interesting toonly see a certain demographic
or a certain hair type shown,and not the other.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Yeah, even for myself
.
I wonder if I could be braveenough to do it and I do hair
right.
You know I'm like could I betrying, you know, just open
enough, transparent enough,vulnerable enough to like, like,
share, like and it is reallyvulnerable, like because that's
something so personal.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
It sure is like I'm
losing my hair.
I didn't even talk to my doctorabout it.
I did not.
I hate that they actually don'tbring this my hair.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
I didn't even talk to
my doctor about it.
I did not.
I hate that they actually don'tbring this up.
You know, they don't even talkabout postpartum depression.
And then you know, and that'sone thing, and then we're going
to add hair on top of the layerof all the things.
And I'm like, why don't y'allinform your patients about this?
And also, what are thesolutions to try to at least
slow it down?
Because it's going to happen.
Right, it's really hard toprevent post yeah, postpartum
(23:19):
hair loss.
Right, it's really hard, I know, for me, I usually encourage my
clients to just keep takingyour prenatals, like, try to
take some type of hairsupplement.
But the only thing is, when youdo that, that's actually for
something from within.
So the new hair is going to bebe okay, but what has already
grown out?
Exactly what's gonna happenwith that?
You know, um, especially if youdon't catch it in time, you
(23:41):
know, right, sometimes when theycome to me, they're already
experiencing it.
So, taking a hair vitamin, itmight slow it down.
I don't even know if it reallyhelps sometimes, right, and I
let them know I don't know.
It could possibly help.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
it just depends on
what your body has to go through
, and that's the thing it's, andI think that's also probably
the reason why I didn't talk tomy doctor about it, because the
experience is so specific to you.
Yeah like pregnancy, it's likeall of it.
But I one, I'm talking to youabout something that's like
really like personal to me, yeah, and sometimes when you talk to
(24:15):
a doctor and, like you know, Iencourage people to talk to the
doctor but sometimes when youtalk to a doctor, they're just
giving you like the very likegeneral medical advice and being
like, well, you know, this isgonna be like for you like okay,
well, you ain't giving nosolutions, you know, and I think
you hit on a really great pointabout do you like?
do they care Like?
After you give up when youpregnant, you got appointments
(24:40):
every month.
Yeah, of course, the end everyweek almost.
And then after that, god forbid, is something more serious than
you in there, more than that.
And then after that you gotthat six week appointment.
They're like bye.
Like good riddance, like girl,and you don't see them again
exactly there needs to be somepost-op care exactly it really
do, it really do like I'm outhere losing my hair and you're
(25:02):
gonna send me home with a paperand, and it could be too, they
probably just so wrapped up inthe science of it all.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Yeah, like you're
gonna be okay because it's gonna
come back and I think that'swhy they can't or they don't
connect right, you know.
But it's like we are people, youknow, and you practice this.
It's not my practice tounderstand biology and human
anatomy and physiology that'swhat you do right and you have a
very great understanding of,but that does not reflect for me
(25:31):
, you know.
I'm like I just wish they wouldat least encourage some type of
I don't know something.
Definitely, uh, oral, yeah, youknow, because topically,
nothing can help you.
If it's, if it's like a medical, right, you know.
So it needs to.
The target needs to come fromwithin.
Right, we need to target itfrom within.
So it's like they can'trecommend nothing really topical
(25:54):
, and I can't either, like,besides, like, make sure you're
just taking care of your hair,but it's still gonna fall out,
right, you know.
So I wish that they would atleast come up with some type of
oral supplement that reallytargeted, before it even
happened, like, hey, look, assoon as you drop this baby,
start taking this oralsupplement you don't lose your
hair and just like theconversation about okay you know
(26:15):
like this is happening.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Yeah, or this will
happen or can happen.
Just the conversation.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Just the conversation
, just the awareness can bring
you at ease whenever it startsto unfold.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Yes, you know, that's
right, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Yeah, Did you try any
home remedies, treatments or
products?
If so, what worked for you andwhat didn't?
Speaker 2 (26:38):
I can be a product
junkie.
I can be a product junkie, um,but for this, especially because
, like my goal is so specificabout like growing my hair out
longer, fuller and stronger,I've actually just like slowed
down on, just like buying awhole lot of different things
and instead, like I'm startingto like more, do more research
(26:59):
on products, and so I reallyhaven't bought a lot of things.
Um, I don't want to name dropany products because I know
they're like kind of goingthrough um certain things, but
there is a specific hair liketarget to black hair.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
There's a specific
brand that has, like some hair
growth, drops that people youknow, they know, they know what
you're talking about.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
You don't have to
name drop, yeah yeah, and I used
to use them, but then, like Iwas hearing all the things, I
was just like you know what.
I'm gonna back off and I'm fora little moment because I'm
already experiencing loss.
I don't want to exacerbate theissue with a faulty product or
whatever the issue is, even ifmine is great.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Let me just leave
that alone for a little bit.
Then you'll be backtracking totrying to fit.
You know it's like now you gottwo problems that you gotta fix.
Yeah, nobody got time.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
No so, um, I've found
products that are like, more
nourishing for a hair, like justsaying, okay, these are the
three things I'm identifyingwith my hair.
I'm experiencing breakage, I'mexperiencing dryness, I'm
experiencing like low strengthor, like you know, loss of
elasticity.
So, like, what are the specificproducts that are going to
(28:09):
speak to these things?
Speaker 1 (28:11):
And let me use those,
and so far they're doing really
well.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Like you know, I'm a
Sephora all the time and I'm
getting a sample of this.
I'm going to try this and likegiving it time to actually work.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
That's the thing,
Cause sometimes we we try it one
time and we think we'resupposed to see results as soon
as we apply this product.
It's like no.
It takes time and consistencyin order for you to see this
product really do its job.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Yes, Absolutely yes,
and I just believe, also, like
when you invest in certainproducts, like you're going to
see that investment back If it'sdirected and meant for you,
yeah, like.
And meant for your hair, yes.
And so, like you know, gettingthose samples and saying okay
well, this has been working letme invest in this product, you
know, and like not trying to hopon a trend.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Yes, that has been
really helpful.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
So like home remedies
.
No, I've seen different likehair growth stuff, but like
again, that just feels likeanother task yeah, and I'm
already busy, so I needsomething I can go to the store
and pick up and say okay whatare your favorites in Sephora
that you've tried so far?
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Ooh.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
You say I love
Sephora, let me tell you me.
And Sephora, that is ooh.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
I love Sephora.
I know I was in there yesterday.
God forbid Ooh Love.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
Sephora.
Okay, so I have tried.
I want to say is this theVegamour?
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Oh, yes, the hydrate
shampoo with the biotin
v-e-g-a-m-o-r.
Yes, I've tried that.
I like that shampoo a lot, okay, so y'all heard that that's a
good one.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
That's a good one.
It worked so well for my hair.
It was like hydrating, but thenalso like just very cleansing,
and like my hair did feelstronger okay you know like I've
been doing the uh flex Rod setsand I think before when I would
have like experienced breakageand stuff like my hair's been
feeling like really strong.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
So that's a good one.
It looks good, yeah, thank youit do.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
So.
That's a great shampoo thatI've been liking.
What's another one?
I've been using the Amika.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Hydro Rush.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Amika yeah, the blue
one yeah that mask oh delicious
yes yeah, amica is really makinga huge breakthrough.
Yeah, yeah I like that one alot.
I really like that one a lot.
Um, I've tried some curlsmiththat I've liked, liked.
Oh yeah, you like Curlsmith,yeah, so an influencer actually
(30:37):
that I watch on Instagram sheused to use it years ago before
she locked her hair and it hadbeen on my list to like try, but
I hadn't like picked it upbecause you know, like the
pricing and I was just like youknow, I don't know if it's going
to work.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
But I got a sample of
it and I was just like you know
, I don't know if it's gonnawork, but I got a sample of it
and I tried it and I'm like, oh,I like it and it smells good.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
I've never tried
curlsmith.
I like them okay.
I like them a lot, they're good.
I have to try to check them out.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Yeah, okay, and I
also use um pattern you know
what it's only, out of all ofthe people I've ever talked to,
it's only one person that didnot like it, but the majority of
people really love patterns.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
So when they first
came out, I tried it.
When they first came out, didnot like it.
It did nothing for my hair.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Okay, she had to go
back in the lab.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
She had to go back in
the lab.
I don't know if it was just me,but she had to go back in the
lab.
She had to go back in the lab.
That was maybe like three, fouryears ago.
I tried that, okay, and Ipicked it up again, maybe like
within the last year, and I'vebeen liking it.
The Apollo Santo leave-inconditioner oh, I've heard so
many great things about thatGirl.
I didn't go through so manybottles of that one, oh my
(31:46):
goodness.
And their treatment mask.
It's like a protein mask.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Uh-huh when I tell
you my curls pop like curls.
They never pop before, but thecurls pop with that treatment
mask, y'all get the deets.
Yes, yes, yes, that treatmentmask.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
It is like chef's
kiss.
I love it.
Oh, and the mousse.
That's what I use, um, when Ido my rod set, but those are
like my like top pickups.
So far, okay.
I have my eye on a few otherthings.
Okay, I want to want to trySacred.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
I heard the oil is
really good.
I want to try Sacred yeah, youknow I love Beyonce.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Yeah, I love me some
Beyonce so I want to try Sacred.
But the things that have workedso far are those products I've
listed.
Okay, I've had good results,okay.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
I haven't heard
anything negative about Sacred
yet you know, I've only heard.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
The hype is the oil
is what I hear about the most.
That's what I want to trythat's.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
That's what I hear
about the most is the uh, the
oil they say kind of reminds youof like that olaplex number
seven oil.
Okay, like that's some realgreat oil to compare it to.
So, and so far I haven't heardanybody say anything negative
about that oil.
There was one influencer whoonly gave it a negative, I guess
(32:59):
, review because he felt asthough it didn't cater to all
patterns and he said onlybecause there was no styling
products for curly hair.
Um, curly hair, but you knowyou don't have to have like a
(33:21):
right, a specific right.
You know, product forstraighter texture, exactly like
, and if you want them curls topop, you definitely need
something else going on in theirproduct and some people just
have like naturally straighthair, so it's like you know you
can.
Yeah, that's exactly what I mean, but it's like it's not gonna
curl yeah, that's why he wassaying, he felt as though it was
more catered to a more loosertextured um demographic.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
That's interesting,
you know.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
I feel as though um
you don't need a, um, not that
you don't need if the productline is built for hair care and
restoration.
I don't know if you need ityeah.
The pops to, I mean the curlsto pop.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Right, you're just
looking for restoration, exactly
.
You know strength and like, ifyou heal your hair and you
restore it, then like naturally,some of those things will
happen.
Right, yeah, like less is more.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Right.
So to me I was just kind oflike I see where you're going,
but it's just that I don't feelthe true connection to how this
doesn't work, right?
That?
Speaker 2 (34:21):
makes sense.
Sometimes people just likethose extra products in their
routine, and I'm not mad at that.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
Yeah, they do, but
less is best.
Yes, for sure, it sure is.
Let's see, I got to figure outwhere I'm at y'all, we got so
deep in that conversation I waslike wait a minute, where are we
?
Okay, here we go.
Oh, did you feel supported byyour doctor's family or
(34:47):
community during the time youwere experiencing postpartum
hair loss?
Or was it even a thing you feltlike you needed to bring up to
them?
Speaker 2 (34:54):
So I remember when I
was in the bathroom and I was
seeing all the hair loss, Iremember going to Marcus, my
husband, and be like babe, I'mlosing my hair, my hair is
falling out, and he looked at me.
He was like all the hair onyour head.
What?
No, it ain't.
He's like I can't see it.
I'm like, no, babe, like, looklike, and I'm holding it in my
(35:15):
hands.
I'm just like, I'm like it'sfalling out.
But I'm like, no, babe, like,look like, and I'm holding it in
my hands.
I'm like it's falling out.
But I was like but it's okay,because it's like postpartum
hair loss Like this happens.
And that was pretty much it.
Like, I think like yourcommunity will really like
respond based on how you react.
So, like me being kind of like,okay, like, but this is my goal
(35:37):
, like this is what's going tohappen, this is what we're going
to be doing, like this is myyear to do it, I think everybody
was just kind of like okay,yeah, well, you can do this and
make sure you're not doing thisand like just being really
supportive about it.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
And like even Marcus
was just like well, if you feel
to, because he knows, but it wasonly so much I can do.
I know and I knew that too.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
It was just like you
know.
There's only so much I can do.
I'm going to just have to gothrough this and we're going to
get it together.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
And that'll be that,
Like it's not.
I didn't feel like I had to golike run to a salon.
Yeah, I was just like OK, thisis just like a phase, it's going
to happen, it's natural.
Yeah, you know the hormones,the vitamins, like all of the
things like let's just getthrough this.
Yeah, get on the right track andthen we'll go from there.
Yeah, but you know I told you Ididn't talk to my doctor and so
(36:33):
like I just kind of like leftthat part alone and stuff, but I
would say everybody's been likereally supportive, yeah, I
would say everybody's been likereally supportive.
Yeah, and I think also too,like the support didn't
necessarily come in the form oflike a solution.
Always it came in the form ofjust like an affirmation Like oh
, your hair looks good today ohwow, like I see you did
something new with your hairLike oh, you tried that.
Like I like that.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
And like those little
like nuggets, also make you
feel like okay, I'm good I'mdoing something like it's not as
daunting as I think right, yeahI know, um, even when I
experienced it, I you know I Icould have done other things.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
I could have got a
quick weave, you know, I think
my hair would have probablyresponded to that being that
it's no foundation, no, right,right braided foundation.
You have to lay it on rightespecially cutting it all off, I
think.
I could have done something withthat, but I do remember being I
was in hair school when Iexperienced it.
I remember like walking from myacademic advisor's office, kind
(37:29):
of like thinking like I'mprobably going to cut all my
hair off, and I was like, ooh, Ican't wait for another three
years.
I was like Lord, I can't waitfor another year.
So I think too, even for myself, it was just like.
I think that was like my mainthing and I think that's why my
community was like yours.
It was like, well, she notreally stressed about it, she
didn't cut it all off.
(37:50):
So obviously she's okay, youknow.
But there are some of myclients that you know they won't
cut it off, you know, know theydon't want to start over.
Um, even some of them don't haveto, though it's just literally
right there at the perimeter itjust depends, but there are some
, you know, clients that I'vetried to encourage, like in
order to see quicker results,not in length, but in the
(38:10):
integrity right right becauseit's so unruly it's so
unmanageable yes, you can't doreally anything, and it's so
crazy how it get like that,because why are you acting like
yes, like unruly child?
so I'm like at least you canstart seeing the benefits of it
being healthy, and then you'llbe able to appreciate just
having healthy hair versus beingso tied up to length.
Exactly, and that's where I'm,I've always been.
(38:32):
It's like oh no, I will cutdead raggedy hair.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
If it gotta go, it to
go, it got to go, it got to go,
and that's it.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
You know I don't try
to hang on to it because I want
to see it at its healthiest.
Exactly More important.
That's more important for methan length, right?
But I have noticed with some ofmy clients they're like no,
weave it up, braid it up.
And it eventually grows out,you know.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
so it's um, it takes
some time, but if you just kind
of cut it off and gone straightto the new grow where the new
hair is coming in, you know,it's gonna grow eventually it's
gonna grow and it's like do youwant it to like grow and like
you have your new growth andlike this healthy hair, or you
want to have like all this, likeold, like dead, like it ain't
doing nothing, it ain't curlingright, my hair ain't laying
right.
(39:20):
That's why it's not layingright.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
Yeah, what did you
learn about postpartum hair loss
that you wish more women knew,or even women like you, like
when you were explaining earlier?
Speaker 2 (39:38):
What did I learn?
It really does look differentfor everybody.
You can have something as mildas just like shedding, or
something as severe as like fullblown, like losing extreme
amounts of hair, but I thinkthat there are so many things
(40:03):
that affect it, right, you know,it's the hormonal fluctuations,
it's the vitamin deficiencies,it's the stress, and there's
just so many things that canaffect that.
So, yeah, it's just, it's areally like I hate to sound like
the doctor, but it really islike your own experience.
So you know, just, that's kindof what I've learned, like it's
(40:23):
your own experience, and so makeit your own.
Like you know, that's somethinglike your body is going through
all of these changes.
Like go through it with likegrace.
Yes, give yourself like timeand be patient.
Like don't feel like the needto like stress about it and like
throw yourself to frenzy aboutI gotta get my hair back.
You know, like, just take it,be like how you have to embrace
(40:45):
your new body.
I'm gonna embrace my new hair,that's right, and we're gonna
get there eventually.
This is a new you.
It's a new day, right now, soembrace it.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
Like you said, and I
also like how you pointed out,
the experience is different foreveryone, so also walk in that,
knowing whatever information yousee out here, you know where
people are sharing it's notgoing to look like everyone's.
Like you said, you didn't losenearly as much hair as I did,
you know.
So it is different for everyone, you know, and that's I'm glad
(41:16):
you said that that needs to besaid more than anything.
Yeah, because just because it'snot looking like what you're
seeing on the internet or whatyou are reading on, that does
not mean right, that's not yourexperience, you know exactly.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
Or the experience of
someone experiencing postpartum
and, like you said, like withyour second, you need to
experience I ain't experiencingit.
No so, with my first I didn'texperience, and so, like you
know, I think that sometimes,like when you become pregnant,
and you start like looking atall the videos and you're like
preparing yourself, like don'tstress about something that has
not happened yet, you know, likeyou can be proactive and you
(41:50):
can prepare.
But don't go into it likeworrying and being like, okay,
well, I gotta start taking allthe supplements now.
I gotta start doing all thethings now, like enjoy your
process, recognize that it is aprocess and wherever you're
going to fall out on yourjourney is where you're going to
fall out on your journey,that's right and just go at it
from there.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
That's right, yeah,
yeah.
Are there any key nutrients orlifestyle changes that help
improve your hair health?
Speaker 2 (42:20):
Low manipulation
hairstyles um giving my hair
like a break from the braids,like I love braids.
They're easy and it's likereally convenient for me, like
as a mom absolutely who is sobusy?
but you know, one thing thatwomen are doing after they have
kids is trying to reclaim sometime for themselves.
Yes and so like redefining likemy hair as like, as a chore,
like, instead of looking at itlike it's a chore and being like
(42:42):
, oh, I gotta do my hair, I'mlike, okay, I get to go do
something different my hair, letme go try something.
Mental, yeah, mindset, yes, andlike I think that's a lifestyle
it sure is.
And just like carving out thattime to like try something new,
to do something new, to justlike take care of yourself, even
if you're just doing like acute little slick back bun, do
(43:04):
your little, cute little slickback bun, use this product, try
something.
Doing that, making sure thatyou're eating like nutrient
dense food.
Yes, you're not going to geteverything from your food, but
it helps when you are eating andputting certain things into
your body, because what's in isgoing to come out.
(43:25):
So you want the stuff that'sgoing in to be good yeah.
And finding a good likemultivitamin, like, if you are,
you know, in that still earlystage like taking those prenatal
, still like you know, takingthose supplements that are going
to just again like put somegood stuff into your body,
because a lot of it also, too,is like the vitamin deficiency.
That's right, absolutely.
(43:46):
And so treat your body like.
Treat your body like you'restill pregnant, like because,
even though you're not takingcare of that baby anymore, and
then like putting it the goodstuff into your baby, yeah, like
you still love with your bodyokay, like it's still you and
it's not the same, it's not thesame, so you really need to be
on.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
Yeah, you want to
take care of yourself.
Speaker 2 (44:07):
Um other lifestyle
changes, other things, um what
is like iron, vitamin a likevitamin b.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
Yeah, all of that
like.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
You know, just really
honing in on, like, okay, this
is what I need for my body, forwhere I'm at, let me go find
these supplements, get thesefoods, you know, to nourish
myself.
And just look at this wholeprocess as, like I'm nourishing
myself.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
And be unapologetic
about it too, because the baby's
going to be there.
Your job is going to be there.
The baby's definitely going tobe there.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
But you know you got
to take care of you.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
You sure do have to
take care of you, girl.
I love that Period.
Yes, ma'am, I love the period.
Have you started noticing anyregrowth at all?
I have.
Okay, how long did it take,when you know, from the time
that you initially noticed thatit was you know you was
experiencing hair loss to nowthe regrowing process?
Speaker 2 (45:08):
it's been really
recent and so, um, I blew my
hair out, like this past weekend, and when I blew my hair out I
was like, oh, my hair has gottena little longer.
Yeah, I'm like okay, like atfirst, like I had got my hair
and it was like cut up to hereand stuff, but like now it's
like getting to my shoulderslike when I blow it out it's
(45:28):
like feeling stronger, like myedges are still thin but they're
like growing back, so like thehair is coming back and so it's
been really recent, maybe likeweek or two and stuff, and like
I think that's also like theproducts I've been using, so
like again giving things time towork.
You know, like now I'm startingto see small results and stuff
and that's encouraging.
Speaker 1 (45:47):
I also think your
mental yes is helping you too,
because I feel as though ifyou're stressed, it's gonna slow
down the process or it's notgonna be any.
Yes, so I feel like you know,just listening to your feedback
and just us, you know, havingthis conversation, all I hear is
positivity.
Yeah, you know, making surethat you know, inside I feel
good too, right, you know, and Ialso think that's also helping
(46:09):
your stimulation.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
I think so too.
Yeah, and also like you justgot to get your community
involved.
Like on.
Tiktok.
They're just like scalpmassages helps promote growth.
So I'm like babe, yeah, oh yeah, Scalp massage, my scalp Girl.
If I could just get 10 minutesof it yeah, 10 minutes of
something.
So it's just like finding likefun ways to just like put it in
(46:32):
my day, put it in my schedule,so again it just doesn't feel
like a chore.
Yes, so again it just doesn'tfeel like a chore.
And that mental is reallyimportant.
And I think, like again Ilocked in after I saw that hair
loss and I said, okay, no, mygoal is this, because this
aligns with who I see myself,where I see myself.
You know like I'm doing things.
I want to look presentable andmy hair is a part of it, and so
(46:54):
let's lock in and let's get thistogether.
Speaker 1 (46:56):
Amen, sister of that,
and so let's walk in and let's
get this together.
Amen, sister, what advice wouldyou give to other moms
currently going throughpostpartum hair loss?
I feel like you just beendropping all the gems on.
You know how to move forward,but if you got something else,
right, I'm all about encouragingmoms.
Speaker 2 (47:11):
I'm just going to go
back to give yourself grace.
Give yourself grace in thespace that you are in.
Um, you are new.
Yeah, you are a new person.
You are a new woman.
Yeah, you are experiencing allthese changes in your body and
you can look at that and you can, like, get really like
(47:33):
depressed, you can get reallylike sad about it because you
don't recognize that personright, but recognize there is so
much power in the new you.
Yes, you know, like, and lookat what you're losing as an
opportunity of what you can gain.
Oh, my hair is falling out.
I'm not used to this.
I ain't never had short hairbefore or my hair has never
(47:55):
looked like this before.
Okay, well, maybe this is mytime to try a new haircut or a
new hair color or rock a newstyle.
Yeah, like, what's my mom'sstyle?
Like, who am I in this new bodythat you know?
And so just like, really likegiving yourself the grace and
the space to just operate in allthat is new, all that you, and
(48:15):
just making it fun.
I think sometimes we get socaught up in just like.
This thing is happening to me,I got to be so serious about it,
you know, or this is a seriousthing, like nobody's taking me
seriously.
Speaker 1 (48:30):
But like have fun
with it.
Speaker 2 (48:33):
Have fun with being a
mom, you know.
Have fun with just being a newwoman, just like, just have fun
and just give yourself justgrace and space to figure it out
and talk to people.
Oh my gosh, sometimes I feellike Community.
Yes, you can be on your ownlittle island and you can just
be spiraling and you're lookingat all these videos and they're
(48:55):
just validating all of yourconcerns and you just feel like,
oh my gosh, like this is nevergoing to get better.
But like, get out there and gotalk to some people.
That's right Because we've allexperienced it or we're all
experiencing it.
Are you going?
Speaker 1 (49:07):
to.
If you plan on being a mom,you're going to experience it If
you want that precious baby.
Speaker 2 (49:14):
You're going to have
to go through some things to
have that precious baby.
You're gonna have to go throughsome things to have that
person's baby.
You know for real.
Yeah, so that would be theadvice that I would give to like
moms and women and womenexperiencing like postpartum
hair loss okay.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
If you could go back,
would you do anything
differently?
And how you handled yourpostpartum hair journey,
especially since you didn'treally know much about it until
you experienced it for yourselfor started?
You know, planning to, you knowbe pregnant no, no amen.
Speaker 2 (49:40):
I have enjoyed the
journey thus far and again it is
like really provided me anopportunity to discover, yeah
for sure.
And now I'm discovering withlike more intention, with like
more purpose and with like lessstress about the result.
Speaker 1 (50:00):
I'm just having fun
with it.
That's right.
Just embrace the process versustrying to rush to the solution.
Speaker 2 (50:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (50:07):
That's right.
Yeah, how has your experiencechanged?
You know the perspective onbeauty and self-care for you.
Speaker 2 (50:14):
Hmm and self-care for
you.
Hmm, um, I think that whenpeople envision like their best
selves, they always envisionthemselves like the fullest
everything I have the prettiestskin, I have the longest hair, I
have the most banging body.
Like I have the best wardrobe.
It's really allowed me to enter, like beauty and self-care,
(50:38):
from a place of humility and notvanity.
Yes, like I'm not trying to bepopping for the world to give me
validation, like I want to justbe so secure and confident in
my own self my own, like my own,whatever I got going on that I
just feel like, oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (50:58):
I got my own
validation going on.
This is the only validationthat's needed when it comes to
external validation.
It's not even real.
It's only real if you make itreal.
Speaker 2 (51:08):
Exactly and like
really you dress enough for the
trend that's going to changenext week.
Or you know, like the peoplethat's on social media, like
where everything is filtered andpretty and you know they got
the most popping light.
Like you know it's just livingin the now and just being so
real, being just like being justgrounded in.
(51:31):
This is who I am right.
This is what I like.
I don't feel like I have to fitthe trend, no.
So if I want to put my littleface mask on at XYZ, I'm doing
that.
That's right.
And, again, just having funwith it.
I love going to the store andfinding a new face mask or a new
something like oh, I want totry this, and just doing it.
Speaker 1 (51:54):
It's a journey it is,
and it's so much fun it is, it
is and I'm doing it.
Speaker 2 (51:58):
It's a journey, it is
, and it's so much fun it is, it
is and I'm doing it along withyour kids, right, you know, like
I'm in a kitchen with the facemask on and I'm cooking
spaghetti.
Yeah, that's right, justfinding a way to just be like
nope, this is my time.
Yeah, Like y'all done.
Speaker 1 (52:13):
Because we can lose
our identity whenever we start,
you know, building our families.
Yes, it's like I'll take careof me wherever, whenever I can
Right.
But I really like how a lot ofmoms are inserting that
intentionally today.
They're like oh no, we're notdoing what we did back in the
day.
No, no, no, we're not doingthat.
It happens too easily.
Speaker 2 (52:33):
You can easily lose
yourself.
You sure can and you do notwant to do that, because you'll
look up them kids will be grown,they'll be doing their own
thing.
Your husband's been living lifeand you'll be like, well, where
am I going?
Where do I start now Exactly?
No, thank you.
Nope, I'm going to get Mimiright now.
That's right, yeah.
Speaker 1 (52:52):
Okay, where can our
listeners connect with you or
follow?
Speaker 2 (53:05):
your journey.
Oh well, I like y'all.
That's if you want them to.
You know, I like y'all.
I'm here with y'all.
Um, I can be a little privateonline, you know you.
You see me, but then you don't,right.
But I'm on tiktok, I'm onInstagram, I'm on Facebook
wherever you feel like you needto find me.
I think it's at Hiller Chanel Idon't even know the ad name to
give y'all yeah, but I thinkit's at Hiller Chanel, you at
(53:27):
all child.
They can come follow me.
We can talk more about it.
Maybe it'll increase ourcommunity.
Speaker 1 (53:32):
I'm not mad at that
right, it could, because I like
that.
You know this could be a way tosupport women.
You could literally start,because I feel like your mindset
and your emotional connectionto who you are from within is
something a lot of women need.
So you could really start anonline community and this could
be a way to support women whoare going to go through it.
(53:53):
They look like you, sincethere's not a platform out there
, right?
Speaker 2 (53:55):
now I'm not mad at
that and I'm more than open.
You know, of course, online younavigate, you know, like how
much you share, how much youdon't share, and I think I've
navigated that balance well youknow, like whatever I don't want
to tell you.
I ain't gonna tell you that'sright I'm totally open to doing
that.
Like I love talking to otherwomen, I love stuff like this,
like yeah, and just havingconversation.
Speaker 1 (54:15):
So, yeah, I think it
would be a great thing.
Y'all can follow me if y'allwant to.
Speaker 2 (54:18):
I ain't gonna block
you.
I'm so nice.
I'm gonna like your post everynow and then you can follow me.
Speaker 1 (54:31):
It's so funny.
But no, girl, I really thankyou so much for carving time out
of your day to come see me.
It's so good to see you.
It's been way too long it hasbeen.
It has been Like three yearsalmost, yes.
Speaker 2 (54:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (54:44):
September will be
three years.
Speaker 2 (54:45):
Yes, yeah, so it's
been.
A lot of life has happened, butI'm just so proud of you like
carving out this space, yeah.
Having these conversations,just like the work that you are
doing, and like in community inthe hair world.
Just like I don't know, I'll beyour online fan girl.
Speaker 1 (55:03):
Girl, stop, I'll be
like, that's my girl.
Girl.
I appreciate that though,Because, like, sometimes you
just don't know if you're doingwhat people want.
Yeah, you just don't know untilsomebody tell you like I really
love what you're doing, like Ihope you can keep it up, girl,
you are doing it and people arewatching and we are loving and
we are so excited for you.
Speaker 2 (55:20):
So thank you for
having me like.
This is truly an honor.
Yeah, oh, thank you.
Yes, when you first launched apodcast, I was just like I want
to be a guest on.
Speaker 1 (55:29):
Kenetra's show.
I can't believe you didn't tellme.
I'm glad I just nudged you.
I was like oh, because evenwhen I saw you mention it I was
like okay.
I was like ugh, because evenwhen I saw you mention it I was
like okay.
I was like but she don't soundlike she want to be on the show
though.
And then I got a couple nudgesafter I put it out there.
I was just like that's not whatI'm really looking for.
You know, girl, be shy.
I was like I'm going to hitHillary up and see what Hillary
(55:50):
say, because we've had so manygreat conversations.
Speaker 2 (55:54):
Oh, we have so many.
Speaker 1 (55:54):
I already knew it was
just going to flow.
And then, like listening to howyou, you know, were at the
salon, like you was just soconfident, yeah, or is so
confident, yeah, and that'swhere I wanted this show.
I wanted it to go in thatdirection, like someone who has
lived it, experienced it, andthat's thriving, right, you know
(56:16):
, so that the listener can hearthat story, yes, versus like the
, you know, kind of daunting andyou haven't really arrived
there yet I mean we all gothrough that yeah, like every
challenge comes with like thatperiod of just like uncertainty,
of like, okay, like, where'sthe light in this tunnel?
Speaker 2 (56:31):
right, yeah, I mean,
just come out of it so empowered
you know just like I'm allabout finding the opportunity
where there seems to presentnone, and I think like being a
math teacher has also helped mewith that, because in my mind,
every problem has a solution.
That's right.
And so it's kind of like OK,this is a problem, but I can
(56:52):
solve this.
Speaker 1 (56:52):
That's right,
absolutely, I can overcome this.
I love that analogy.
Speaker 2 (56:57):
Yeah, girl, you know
I'll be, I'll be all over my
head with it.
But, yeah, like I pray thatwomen walk away from this
episode feeling empowered,whether it aligns to where they
are in their lives or not.
Like you know, I pray theyshare with somebody who they
know is like OK, girl, you'repregnant, this could be you, but
(57:18):
let's, let's come out of thislike Right, empower, right,
Absolutely.
So I I'm excited about who thisis going to reach and what is
it going to spark from here.
Yeah, I'm excited about it Allright, girl.
Speaker 1 (57:30):
Well, thank you so
much.
I really appreciate you.
One amazing conversation withHillary.
Her journey through postpartumhair loss is one that so many
moms can relate to, and herstory is a powerful reminder
that healing, both physicallyand emotionally, is possible.
Hillary, thank you for yourhonesty and for sharing your
wisdom with us, to our listeners.
(57:59):
If this episode resonated withyou, or if you know someone who
needs to hear it, be sure toshare it.
Don't forget to subscribe,leave a review and follow us for
more real conversations aboutbeauty, hair and self-care.
Until next time, stay empowered, not only through your hair,
but from within.
Thank you, thank you.