Redefining Confidence: Pole Dancing, Makeup, and Owning Your Beauty"

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What happens when beauty meets movement? Join us for an enriching conversation with Jessica Washington, a gifted makeup artist and pole dancing coach, who illustrates the transformative power of embracing one's unique beauty and movement. Jessica shares her compelling journey into pole dancing, ignited by a client's inspiring story of vitality and self-discovery. We explore how makeup and pole dancing can shatter confidence barriers and empower women to reclaim their beauty on personal terms, offering a supportive space to express and celebrate their authentic selves.

Ever wondered how to navigate societal beauty standards while staying true to yourself? We'll explore this and more, discussing the challenges of external expectations and the cycle of self-comparison. Jessica opens up about the fulfilling journey of embracing authenticity over superficial fixes, fostering a mindset of self-compassion and inner growth. By sharing personal anecdotes and teaching experiences, this episode emphasizes nurturing the inner self and finding true fulfillment in self-worth rather than seeking external validation.

Curious about how to enhance your beauty routine or fitness journey with mindful practices? Discover the empowering benefits of mindful makeup application and pole dancing, where self-expression and personal growth are at the forefront. Jessica discusses how platforms like Pinterest can inspire without dictating self-worth, and the liberating experience of prioritizing what feels good. Listen in as we highlight the importance of embracing all aspects of oneself, building communities of growth and support, and committing to consistent self-confidence and self-acceptance.

Connect with Jessica Washington by following the links below:

Facebook
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Youtube
TikTok
Website

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to my mommy's podcast, hair what I'm Saying,
where we dive deep into beauty,entrepreneurship and
self-expression.
I'm your co-host, magic Stewart, and today we are thrilled to
have an amazing guest with us,jessica Washington.
Jessica is not only a talentedmakeup artist, but also an
empowering pole dancing coach.
In this episode, we'reexploring the powerful

(00:26):
connection betweenself-confidence, beauty and
movement.
We'll discuss how makeup can bean accessory to enhance your
natural beauty and how poledancing has helped so many women
, including Jessica, breakthrough confidence barriers and
truly embrace themselves.
This conversation is aboutreclaiming your beauty on your
own terms and feeling empoweredin every way.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
Welcome to the Hair what I'm Saying podcast.
I'm your host, Kenetra Stewart.
Today we have JessicaWashington of Jessica Blends
joining us.
Welcome, Jessica, how are you?
I'm so excited to be here.
Oh my gosh, thank you for havingme, of course.
Thank you for carving time tocome share with us.
Oh my gosh, thank you forhaving me, of course.
Thank you for carving time tocome share with us.
Oh my gosh, no, this, this isthe perfect way for it to happen

(01:11):
.
I'm so happy that it's with you.
Yay, so comfortable.
Excuse me if I get a littleweird no, be yourself, be
yourself yeah no, I'm like, areyou sure today, besides excited,
what else like?
are you chilling today?
Besides excited, what else?
Like, how are you feeling?
I feel good.
Usually I'm up and I'm rushingto get everybody else ready, and

(01:31):
it was fun because we got toget ready for everybody, but I'm
like dang, I got to get dressedtoo.
I got to be cute, I got to makesure I look good on the camera.
So that is so true.
Today you had to pamperyourself to get here.
What did that feel like?
The roles being in reverse?
I think I'm lucky because we'reso similar and I'm so used to

(01:53):
doing your makeup, like I don'thave to think so hard about what
I'm going to do for you.
I could just get up and flow.
But I'm like, oh, I sat down todo my eyes and I looked up and
I was like I lost time.
It just disappeared.
Like I promise you I had 15minutes 30 minutes ago.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
Yeah, that's how it, is it just?

Speaker 2 (02:13):
disappeared.
But we're here.
We're at One Piece.
Yeah, got my coffee.
I'm good, I'm good, all right,cool, well, we're going gonna
jump right into it.
Let's just get on into it.
So what drew you to poledancing after practicing makeup
professionally for so long?
Girl, at first I did not wantto do it, because which one pole

(02:34):
dancing or makeup?
I was like girl, wait a minute.
So you know, I work with mypartner photographer and, um, a
pole instructor.
She came in for some headshotsand while we were doing her her
photo shoot, I was like, wow,like this is really inspiring.
She was in her 50s and she wasdoing it to keep herself young

(02:55):
and moving.
I was like I think I want to dothis, yeah.
And she was like, well, youcan't wear lotion and the grips
hurt and it's a whole lot ofwork.
I said, oh, okay, no, thank you, no, thank you.
And then after about anotheryear, we got together again and
I was like, okay, I needsomething to where I can get out
the house, I want to be aroundladies, I want to work out, but

(03:17):
I want to be in a safe space.
And when I went back to thinkof pole, I'm like, okay, I can
be a little sexy, I can work onbeing strong, it's small, I can
just hang out with mygirlfriends.
This is a place where I can besilly and fall over and mess up
and not have to worry aboutbeing perfect or getting it
right, and so after I started,it was just that was it for me,

(03:41):
that was it so like fromday one.
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
And I, that was it for me, thatwas it so, like from day one.
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
And I was lucky to get startedwith a partner like.
I met her in class.
We both started around the sametime and then after a while it
started to be like, okay, girl,are you gonna come, like, are
you there?
And if I was good at something,she might needed some help, or
if I needed help, she would bereally good at it, so we could

(04:03):
feed off of each other reallywell.
And I know a lot of people tryto find, like, a gym partner
before they get to the gym.
But finding your person therealready, yeah, we got to grow so
much together so it juststarted to be fun.
Yeah, and then we're still soreafterwards.
Yes, indeed, because that's somuch upper body work, so much

(04:26):
strength, so much core.
Yes, so you are absolutely goingto be hurt yes yes, we're
moving muscles and using musclesthat we wouldn't have really
thought about before, and then,when you're getting up the pole
and you're trying to grip andsupport yourself, like that's a
different sort of pain.
Trying to hold your whole bodyweight with the skin meat.

(04:47):
Oh y'all guys, oh my gosh.
And then you're ashy and you'resticky, and so after a while I
discovered low flow, which iseverything standing and on the
floor, so that alleviates alittle bit of the stickiness and
having to grip.
But you still need that fullbody engagement and awareness to

(05:12):
be able to move fluidly.
So that's what I like I like tobe like water Gotcha, okay,
okay, what's her name?
What's her name?
Tyler?
Oh yeah, whatever.
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, whatever.

Speaker 1 (05:25):
Yeah, yeah, that girl .

Speaker 2 (05:26):
Yeah, girl, so that makes sense.
I would have never thought toput that much thinking into like
not wearing lotion because youdon't want to slip and fall.
You know, I would have nevereven thought that Girl I'd have
came greased down just to makesure I'm not ashy, because you

(05:48):
know, like you are wearing tight, fitting clothing, that's
really exposable.
Yeah, so I'm not trying to bein there, and so that's the next
thing too when you're going upthe pole you do really have to
be exposed because you need yourskin out so that you can grip.
But I wasn't super comfortablewith having my cheeks out and I
mean I like doing the moves, butafter a while I was like, okay,
I don't have to do this, let me, let me find my space.

(06:10):
So the second thing with lowflow, I love I can wear pants if
I want to.
Okay, um, I can.
Well, you do need your, yourarms out a little bit, but you
can be a little bit more covered, and so I can get away with
some lotion on my knees.
Gotcha, because those are thoseimportant parts them, them
elbows, them knees and themankles, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, and
we're moving and you're openingyourself up.

(06:31):
Everybody's seeing every littlebit.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely yes.
You've expressed throughcontent and also to me, how pole
dancing has helped you buildself-confidence in many
different ways from makeup.
Can you elaborate more on that?
Yeah, so with pole again,because of the strength,
movements and just learning howto be aware of your body as

(06:54):
you're moving and engagingaround the pole, a lot of those
movements require you to starttrusting yourself a lot more,
not just building your strength,but trusting that you can hold
yourself in this position, thatyou can squeeze tight enough so
that you don't fall over, or,you know, you can maintain that
grip even though it hurts, eventhough, like, it's sticky or

(07:17):
it's uncomfortable.
And in those moments I foundlike I was able to really
surprise myself or really proudof myself.
Like dang, I did that.
That hurt, I was scared, but Idid it.
I might have looked like a youknow, a wet duck, but I did it.
You know what I'm saying.
So, even if it's not cute thefirst time, like look it's, oh

(07:42):
my god, it takes a while beforeit gets cute of course.
You know it takes a while butjust being able to be like dang.
I was scared but I did it.
Yeah, that hurt but I figuredit out.
That part feels good and thenwe can just figure out how to
make it cute as we go.
That's right, so you know it'slike building the foundation

(08:02):
first yeah you know it's gonnabe raggedy, it's gonna be ugly
at the bottom, you know but youhave to get that first before
you can master being all sexyand seductive with it exactly
because being sexy and seductiveis not it's, it's a byproduct,
that's not what we're trying todo it comes after.
You have that confidence andabsolutely so, when we're

(08:24):
building and we're focusing onus and we're like, yes, I did it
, or that felt good, I'm gonnado it again.
Yeah, or this is starting tofeel comfortable, fluid, like
normal for me then that sexinessis inevitable, absolutely so.
That's what I always tell myladies.
Like we're not trying to besexy, we're trying to be free.
I want I don't want you to tryto be cute.

(08:44):
I want you to be silly just toget comfortable, exactly, and
then, from that comfort, fromthat confidence, the sexiness is
undeniable you're like it'sinevitable okay.
So when it comes to makeup, doyou feel as though you?
The confidence is, of course,very different, but in what ways

(09:05):
will makeup different from poe?
So, with makeup, makeup is verylast step.
It's, it's the outer layer.
So when we're putting on ourmakeup, we already know where
we're going, what we're showingup as we already have that, that
confidence in that map, and themakeup is just the final layer
to project that energy, to setthe tone, like, okay, you see me

(09:30):
and you know what to expect.
I don't look like, you knowwhat I'm saying, so you know,
come correct.
But the makeup washes off,that's.
And through my years of beingan artist, I met and I've
listened to so many differentstories of women who were
looking for that confidence, whowere looking for that self love

(09:52):
, and seeing that transitionfrom before makeup to with the
makeup on, and then thebrightness and how they show up
on camera after that really hurtmy heart when I thought of are
you going to go back to normalwhen you can't do what I just
did?
Or if you can't recreate this,is it just because of the makeup
or is this coming fromsomewhere real?

(10:16):
So, with the makeup being theouter layer, I wanted to draw it
in and say, okay, let's bringit into the body, let's really
find the core of this, thisconfidence of this self-love,
and work on all the other thingsthat we feel like hold us back,
like, oh, my weight, or I feellike I would look like this, or

(10:37):
I feel like I can do like that,because it's never been a size
thing.
Of course, if you can do whatyou can do to make yourself feel
the best, right, but it's abouthow you feel in your body and
being aware of your body and howyou move it and how you relate
to it, like just loving yourselfas you are right now and then
learning how to move and andwork with it.

(10:59):
That stays with you.
Yeah, so you would say thatpole dancing is more interior
and makeup is more exterior yes,got you.

Speaker 1 (11:07):
Yes, that's what I'm, that's what I'm here.
Yeah, that's what it feels like.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
So I'm like, okay, let's take it a layer deeper,
absolutely, so that beautyreally comes from a place that's
that's strong, that's secure,that's that's real, that's
actually you From within.
Yes, exactly so I'm like let'sdig, let's pull it all up and
again, be comfortable messing up, be comfortable falling over,

(11:32):
be comfortable laughing atyourself, yes, and be
comfortable not knowing what youmight want to do next or what
move might come next.

Speaker 1 (11:40):
But once you get there figure it out.

Speaker 2 (11:47):
So that's another thing that I love about low flow
is all of the moves kind ofstick together or they can
transition into each other.
So I don't like teaching ahardcore choreo you have to do
this and that and this and that,like of course from time to
time we do.
But my goal is to help you findthat flow.
So I'll show a couple moves,make sure that the technique is

(12:08):
good, and then when you get to astopping point or a sticking
point, I'm like okay, what doesyour body want to do next?
What do you naturally, what doyou feel it?
And then we can kind of polishand move from there.

Speaker 1 (12:23):
So you'll know the pieces, but you might not know
the journey, but it's yourunique journey Exactly so.

Speaker 2 (12:27):
When you're in it, you can move, and when you get
stuck, you can pause.
But you know what your optionsare, absolutely.

Speaker 1 (12:33):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (12:35):
And that's.
That's really what confidenceis.
It's like you may not know allthe answers, but you know what
you can do, and so when you findyourself in a position that you
may not have expected, it's notabout not knowing or being
surprised that you're here.

(12:55):
It's about knowing that youknow what you can do.
So you just figure it out.
Did you find your confidencethrough pole dancing or was it
introduced from the instructor,from when she, you know, from
when, from whenever you done hermakeup?
So did she introduce it to youin that way?
Or that was something youlearned along the journey?
Like wow, throughout this poledancing journey, I'm actually
learning how to, you know, buildthis self-confidence from

(13:19):
within.
Yes, so it was a little bit ofboth.
Um, miss pat, she's, she's myinstructor, she, she introduced
it to me and she had her.
Oh, yes, candy, pole fitness.
Ok, candy fitness.
I will send it to you to makesure we get it right, knd.

(13:46):
And when I first met herbecause you know, usually when
you think of pole dancers, youthink of skinny minis and super
sexy, like bombshells, and we'relike yo, we're just here to
enjoy it and hearing her storyof how she retired and she got
into it because she loved it andfound her strength through that
at you know, whatever age,right?
Okay, this seems like fun.
And then, as I started to goand be consistent and I started

(14:11):
surprising myself, yeah, oh, Idid that.
Okay, and I'm like, okay, thatfeels good, those little wins
really start to build up andthen along the way, when I found
low flow and I started rollingaround the floor and kicking the
legs up and all that, I said Ifeel so sexy right now, I love

(14:33):
that.
And so from there I was like,yeah, this is what we need.
But it naturally flowed inbecause, working with um always
being in a studio yeah, I'malways there pose like this, you
know, stand like this, moveyour posture like this oh, you
want to be sexy.
We got to create this art, sothe posing and the body

(14:55):
placement was already familiar.
It just we took it from beingstill to being move, in motion,
being fluid, and that was, thatwas natural.
That's good, that's good toknow.
So, yeah, all right, girl, okay.
So how does pole dancingempower women, both physically,

(15:18):
mentally?
I feel like we covered it, rightyeah but the empowerment really
comes when you let yourself andI think that's the biggest
thing that I've learned Again,I'm still, I'm still new and I'm
learning.
So all of my intro classes ormy new ladies that come in I'm
really big on in this space is Idon't want to hear you talking

(15:46):
about what you wish you looklike.
I don't want to hear you say,oh, I can't do that because I, I
gotta lose that or that,there's none of that there.
Yeah, I love, there's none ofthat there.
It's just, you know, let go,and we're gonna try.
And if you mess it up, that'sfine, maybe next time.
But I think the biggest thingthat I try to help everybody

(16:06):
learn is just let it go, let go.
It's a very encouraging anduplifting environment.
Exactly you know, it's notsomething that's very uh,
structured yeah, that's what I'mhearing.
It's a combination of um.
It's not just what you're doinglike the technique is that
you'll learn that and likethat'll come, but it's who

(16:28):
you're becoming while we'redoing this.
We're not doing this to be sexyfor anybody.
I've never been a performer, soI can't speak in that area.
I don't teach them in that arealike you're performing for
yourself.
You are doing this for, and ifyou decide to share by all means
, but you're using this tobecome more confident, more
comfortable, more aware in yourbody, and that's what you're

(16:53):
going to leave with, whether youget the move or not, you know.
Whether you can learn the trickor not, you're going to get
closer and closer to lovingyourself and being more
comfortable and confident inyourself.
That's what's most important.
Let's just be honest yeah, andbeing more comfortable, that's
what's most important.
Let's just be honest yeah,that's it, that's really it, and
you can do that.
Two-stepping, you can do that.
Rolling on the floor, you cando that.
You know, whatever method it isfor you, because everybody

(17:17):
doesn't dance, we just go offand karaoke.
Some sit down and do theirmakeup and that works, or some
are you.
You know you want to paint on acanvas.
It's not what you're doing,it's who you're becoming while
you're doing it.
That's right, I love it.
What are some commonmisconceptions about pole
dancing you would like toaddress?
I think the main thing is thatyou have to be sexy first and

(17:41):
that it has to be complicated.
It doesn't even sexy andmovement, or sexy physically, or
both, both, okay, both.
Because sexiness is notsomething that you can do, it's
something that you are.
And again, being in the photospace for 10 years, I've seen
sexy come from all ages, races,shapes and sizes, and I've also

(18:07):
seen the women who would beconsidered sexy naturally not
really have it in them.
And then you have to coax outthat confidence or whatnot.
So it's never how you look,it's how you show up and how
you're comfortable and confidentin your body.
Girl, if you, if you feeling it.
You know, you really feel it,girl.

(18:28):
You can just take a couplesteps around the pole and that
sexiness will be where's mywords?
It will radiate like it'sundeniable.
Yeah, so it's not somethingthat you can create.
It's just how you show up,that's right.
Have you ever had to coachsomeone like have you ever saw

(18:51):
someone like struggling in yourclass?
Okay, and you had to like coachthem and not struggling with
the movement, but likestruggling internally, and you
had to pull someone to the sideto regroup and let them know
what we're really here for?
Yeah, not, usually that's me.
You're regrouping yourself.

(19:11):
Yeah, usually it's me.
I have to step back and be likedon't get too full of yourself.
You know, sometimes you getcomfortable going through the
same things or you just startgoing through the motions,
especially like when you know it, even as a makeup artist like,
okay, it's just another makeover, or I know I can get through it
.
Or you go to class okay, it'sjust another class, I can get

(19:33):
through it.
Or I'm just gonna phone it inand go through the motions, and
that's not what it's about.
Like you have to come back andbe like okay, don't, don't,
don't get too full of yourself,don't get too big headed and
also don't take yourself forgranted and thinking that what
you know and what you want toshare isn't worth anything
because it's simple to you, or?

Speaker 1 (19:55):
it's not really you.

Speaker 2 (19:57):
So, yeah, I got to pull myself back and say, yeah,
it's, it's, it makes sense toyou, but that's because that's
your gift to share, that's right, and so don't belittle it.
You gotta, you know, comecorrect.
So I, I'm the one that needs tostep out and say get back into
alignment.
I really basically regroupbecause it's like you feeling

(20:17):
really great about what you'resharing.
Yeah, oh, okay, so I was.
I'm glad that you did speak onthat.
But what about for the womenwho are struggling internally,
trying to, you know, get towhere you are?
Have you ever had to, you know,re-coach them and let them know
, hey, I was where you were.
This is gonna take some time.
It's a journey, it's not asprint, yeah, so have you ever

(20:37):
had to had that experience withone of your?
you know, I've had a few wherewe're going through and we're
trying to get a move in, it getsinto the I just can't.
I don't know what's wrong withme.
And I'm looking at you likeyeah, and I'm like I don't care,
like I care, but I don't careif you mess it up.
And sometimes you have to takethat pressure off because we
feel like we have to be perfect,or she feels like I have to get

(21:01):
this right, or even that I'mwasting time because or maybe
somebody else is waiting.
I'm like no, no, no, no.
And again, those classes arealways small so that I can pay
that much attention to everybody, and I also like to have like a
learning period so I can get toknow what your strengths are,
to kind of avoid a little bit ofoverwhelm.

(21:22):
But when my ladies get to apoint and they're like I just
can't, I just can't.
So okay, well, let's regroup,because you can just, maybe not
this right now, that's right.
And again, it's not about themove or the trick, it's how
you're talking to yourself inthat moment.
So take the stress off yourself.

(21:42):
I'm not needing you to doanything other than don't hurt
yourself.
There's no hard and fast choreothat you can mess up.
There's nothing that you canmess up here, so step back and
breathe yes and remember whyyou're here.
You're having fun, that's right.
If we got to move away from thepolls and get silly for a minute

(22:03):
and when I say silly, I'm goingturn a song on, we're gonna
dance and and just just have.
I've seen it, I've seen it and Ifeel I take advantage of the
fact that I'm I'm in charge ofthe class.
So if I say, let's get weird,we're gonna get weird and let me
be the leader because itdoesn't feel as strange like if
you're not doing it by yourself.

(22:23):
Yes, so if I'm not taking ittoo seriously, if I can laugh at
myself, I want you to be ableto laugh, laugh at yourself.
And if we got to regroup orchange um focus, change our
focus, so that you can let thatout of your mind and then
revisit it, well then let's dothat because that's mostly what
it is like it's just a shift inthe focus.
That's really it.

Speaker 1 (22:44):
Yeah, I mean all of us have just a shift in the
focus.
That's really it.
That's really it.

Speaker 2 (22:47):
I mean all of us have a time where we don't know our
right from our left, like it'shappening more often lately.
Exactly so it's like how are yougoing to respond when you start
feeling overwhelmed?
So, besides the obvioussocietal beauty standards
projected onto women, are thereany others you've noticed that
someone might overlook?

(23:09):
Like, besides the usual, likeyou were stating, like some of
your girls think that they haveto look a physical, you know, or
be in a physical shape in orderto do pole dancing, especially
the way how they present poledancing.
You don't typically see outsideof the normal standard beauty,

(23:33):
physical aesthetic on that pole.
Yeah, and I think that's whatit is like.
I think we all started reallyconforming to the same sort of
outward beauty standard, like ifI look this way, then I can get
a high value man, if I have myhair, if I do all of this, then
I can attract what I want.

(23:54):
Like the visual will bring ineverything.
And yes, as a makeup artist, Ido know the power of presenting
yourself and doing the makeup inthe way to set a tone, but if
there's nothing behind that, ifthere's nothing behind that,
then it doesn't matter.
So I think the trend that'sreally hurting us right now is

(24:16):
focusing so much on the outsideor focusing so much on quick
fixes, topical fixes, that wenever step back and really
attack the core.

Speaker 1 (24:26):
The core Of what it is.

Speaker 2 (24:28):
That core feeling of how you really feel about
yourself.
It's not going anywhere untilyou address it Exactly.
You can go get all thesetopical treatments like you
mentioned.
I mean the botox, the bdlwhatever all of the above, it's
gonna keep happening and you arestill gonna feel the same way
exactly that's right so I liketo look at pole as an
opportunity to practice being inthat feeling, practice allowing

(24:51):
yourself to flow, practice howyou're going to talk to yourself
when you mess up or when you'refrustrated.
And all the while you aretapping into your femininity,
you are building your strength,you are being more aware and
comfortable in your body that'sright.

Speaker 1 (25:07):
Yeah, that walks away with you now you walk through
walmart differently.

Speaker 2 (25:11):
You got a different swish of your hips.
You know your.
Your shoulders are back, yourposture is different and that
doesn't wash off like the makeupdoes, but when you put makeup
on top of that.

Speaker 1 (25:23):
I've seen it.
I've seen it, it is it is thatlives with you.

Speaker 2 (25:30):
And so that's all I wanted to really translate and
to expand Like you don't have to, you know, be on the pole or
you don't have to do it my way,but knowing that you have a
method to practice and practicebeing who you want to be.
It doesn't matter what you'redoing, that's right.

(25:52):
And then you know you can showup and do what you want to do.
That's right, amen, sister,what advice would you give to
women who struggle withcomparing themselves to the
social media beauty standards?
Girl, get off of the damn phone.
Just stop looking.
Just stop Like there's nobodyout there that's going to be

(26:14):
able to tell you how to do itlike you.
What?

Speaker 1 (26:16):
you say there's nobody, get off the damn phone,
put it down.

Speaker 2 (26:20):
Put it down, because you're going to search and look
for inspiration.
You're going to search and lookfor all of these other people
doing their thing in their way,and that's why they're doing so
well.

Speaker 1 (26:30):
Because they figured out their thing, their thing.

Speaker 2 (26:37):
And a lot of us want to look or searching for
solutions before we even reallyhave the right questions.
Like you can go through and youcan collect all these different
ideas and data.
You can be so smart, yeah, whenit comes to style and all that
stuff, but until you actuallystart applying it, until you
actually start like digging intoyourself and figure out what
works for you, yes, you couldend up looking and acting and

(26:59):
behaving just like everybodyelse and you lose sight of who
you are.
So, yeah, if you're goingthrough it and you're like I
feel like it's get the, you know, as time progress, I just feel
like it's getting worse becausethere are so many different

(27:20):
visual platforms out here now,you know you have Pinterest,
besides Instagram and TikTok.
You have Pinterest, yeah, youknow, and Pinterest will
definitely lead you down arabbit hole.
For sure man lead you down arabbit hole for sure.
You know it's an.
It's one of the I feel likeslept on platforms that people
don't want to acknowledge.
But, being that we both havedabbled in wedding makeup hair

(27:44):
and sometimes they send some ofthose pictures and you know it's
like I'm deep in it myPinterest.
I have my Pinterest since I waslike 13.
My life is on Pinterest and Ican go back through and I can
see all of the stuff that I usedto like and saved up and you
can look through the themes andbe like, OK, I know I really

(28:06):
love this style but it took meuntil now and trying and failing
and going back through it, Irealized that what I loved
didn't really love me back, orwhat I liked wasn't really for
me.
Yeah, and if I would have growth, you just and that's, that's
even, you know, just that that'sthat feels even better, like

(28:26):
you actually can see your growth, you know, like you can go back
and like look at your growth.
You know, I'm saying, you hearwhat I'm saying, you hear what
I'm saying.
Oh my goodness.
So using it as a tool, as likea scrapbook, that's perfect.
But once you get into a loopand then a lot of the times we

(28:48):
fall into like these limitingbeliefs of I have to be it this
way, or this is the only thingthat works, or this is what
people want, and then you startfeeding into it.
That's right.
And if you can't achieve that,exactly because I was one of
those girls, girl- if I yeah, weall are or have been.
You know I, I will fall down, we, we get flat and I'm like what

(29:12):
is wrong with me?
Why am I?
Why?
And then you go back to the top.
I'm searching through again,I'm trying to find some more
inspiration, never actuallyputting in the work to do what I
needed to do, to find me.
And so using it as a tool tocollect and find inspiration is
cool to a point, you got to knowwhen.
To put it down and actuallyshow up and start doing it for

(29:34):
you, that's right, yes.
To put it down and actuallyshow up and start doing it for
you, that's right, yes, it's.
I feel like it's greatinspirational pieces, but not
for you to actually take thatand adapt it and make it like
this is what I want to do thisis who I want to be like exactly
, etc.
Etc.
But it's great for inspirationand that's it.
Say keep it moving.
How do you encourage yourclients to view makeup in a way

(29:55):
that enhances rather than definetheir beauty?
Okay, I love this, so in twoparts, it's how you put it on.
So it's your mindset of takingyour time to really love
yourself, to breathe and to slowdown and do it with a sense of
yeah, do it with a sense ofadornment, like I'm not doing

(30:18):
this because I have to.
I'm not doing this because I Ihate my under eye bags.
I'm not doing this because, youknow, I broke out and I just
can't, I can't leave the housewithout makeup because that's,
that's absolutely not it.
But doing it in a way of I feelgood, like it's all in the

(30:38):
intention of the applicationthat changes it from I need to
fix myself to oh, I'm justhaving fun.

Speaker 1 (30:47):
I love this.

Speaker 2 (30:48):
I'm just having fun, I love this and then, before we
get to that, it's having theright products and the colors.
You can be as dramatic or asnatural as you want.
If your color match is on point, if we are working with the
right shades of blushes andeyeshadows and you have the
basic formulations, it's likenow we get to color inside the

(31:09):
lines.
Now I broke down all of theoptions and I just have what
looks good on me.
I don't have to think so hardabout what I'm trying to do and
I can just flow.
You can get back into that flow, so that's how I find my groove
within makeup.
You set up your kit.
You have what you know worksfor you and you know how you

(31:31):
like your eyes done.
You balance your contrast andall those good things, so you're
not thinking too hard aboutformulations, so you actually
can just breathe and chill andenjoy yourself and do your
makeup, and then, when you'redone, you're done.
Just listening to that feedback, I feel as though that's how it

(31:51):
should be taught from day one.
That's how it should be taughtfrom day one.
If it was taught like that fromday one, I could only imagine
what could be really going on inthe world right now.
Yeah, you know, instead of like, because even when you get on
YouTube and you are trying tofind, you know, like, some
tutorial to follow, you know,for whatever inspiration that

(32:12):
you're looking for, they alwaysapproach it in a way, as you
know, if you want to concealyour eyes or your you know, your
eye bags or whatever in orderto get fuller lashes, blah, blah
, blah.
You know, and that's kind oflike a unintentional, negative
talk.
Unintentional, yeah, you knowit, you know.
Not negative.
I want to stay negative, but itcan be, because when I'm

(32:35):
listening to you how you'reencouraging, you know, women to
apply makeup or approach makeup,it's more like just get the
foundation and not necessarilythe formula, but get the
foundation, like, get the colormatching right, you know, and
then just build.
Yeah, you know, that's what Ilove.
I love like that feedback thatyou just said, because I feel

(32:56):
like if it was taught in thatway, so many people would
actually enjoy it.
Like me, I don't enjoy doing mymakeup because of what you
literally just said.
Like, ok, I got to make myeyebrows a certain way and I got
to.
You know, I'm getting thesebags.
I ain't get enough sleep.
Let me cover these bags insteadof like girl, just have fun and
apply the makeup.
Have fun creating instead oflike girl, just have fun and

(33:18):
apply the makeup.
Have fun creating ExactlyInstead of covering something up
, and then it won't be sodaunting, which is why I've
never enjoyed doing it or eventrying to apply it.
You know, and learn about itfor me to, you know, provide it
as a service for other people.
But if I had learned it in theway that you are talking about
it right now, I'd have been likeI'm ready, I want to have some
fun.
Like this is going to be funtoday, you know.

(33:39):
Oh, my goodness.
I think that's what I'm gratefulfor the most in my personal
journey, because I started in aphoto studio right in the cusp
of YouTube.
You know right, when it wasstill raw, right, so I could go
on YouTube and I can find womenabout my skin tone, just doing
makeup Right.

(33:59):
And then, over the years, it'sbecome a little bit more
performative because it is aplatform and we are trying to
make money, and so the focus wasmore about trying to get views
as well, as you know, sharinginformation.
But the technique is verydifferent than when I'm in the
studio working with these ladieswho, hey, I just want to look

(34:21):
like my best self and I want torecognize myself in these
pictures because I'm going tohand them down, I'm going to
keep them and I want generationsbehind me to recognize me, I
want them to see me and so,having that experience, really
tailored my, my skills around,trying to keep it as much you as

(34:42):
possible and in my own journeyI had to go through that back
and forth of I'm a makeup artist, I have to, I have to do all of
this.
I'm a makeup artist, I gottashow them that, and it's like
the higher the pressure wasn'tfun anymore not fun, or just
being okay, not wearing makeupand still feeling good or being

(35:03):
okay, just doing the little bitthat I want to, not feeling like
I have to wear a full glambecause that's that's normal or
required.
So I'm like, no, let's keepthis simple, let's, let's, let's
make this make sense.
And when I'm hearing the samestories over and over again I
don't wear makeup, I don't likespend a whole lot of time

(35:24):
putting it on.
When I do put it on it, I haveto worry about it, like no, I
want you to put it on so you canshow up and do what you came to
do, but you're not supposed tobe worried about your face
because now you're not doingwhat you're supposed to do.
That's right.
So that's how I built, that'show I began to build my kit, my

(35:45):
strategies, my formulation Notmy formulations but I chose my
product, but you choseformulation later, you know like
it just came later.
Yeah, it's not like.
I mean mean I can't mix all mystuff right.
I mean I'll be customizingthings to match my clients and
again, that's how I got intoairbrush, like I need it to be
lightweight, I need to get thatcoverage and I don't want you to

(36:06):
feel it, I don't want you tothink about it.
I don't worry about it.
It's the best sign, honey, ohyeah oh my goodness, because I'm
like, I want to learn.
You know, we've been talkingabout you teaching me how to do
my makeup.
I'm like I don't want to learnwith no brush and liquid and
cream and powder.
If you don't teach me, I wantthe airbrush.

(36:28):
Yes, yes, I'm with it.
And the thing is it's like it'sdifferent.
Yeah, but I like to.
I like to think of it as likelearning a different language,
absolutely.
First of all, it feels like adifferent language.
I know it's not the same thing.
Like I can wear this all dayand I don't feel like, oh, like

(36:49):
I feel like something iscreasing and I don't.
It's like I'm on my face.
You know, I don't feel anythingon my face so yeah, I'm like
airbrush.
If you don't have airbrush inyour life, I'm telling you, when
you do get it, if you getsomebody know how to do it,
you'll never go back to that,that manual, because I call it
manual application.
Well, it would be hard to goback to that manual application.

(37:09):
I'm just saying I like to makemy girls a little bougie, yeah,
a little bougie, but now thatyou know it's like, yeah, that's
the whole thing.
Only if you're not used towearing makeup, if you know
you're about to go out and thenwe live in texas.
Oh, girls, too hot, we have tofight the heat, the sweat, the,

(37:29):
the hormones.
So you know, I, I want to beprepared for everything and I
also don't want to think aboutit when, I don't want to worry
about you right when I leave you.
I want to know that you're good, yeah, and also, if you're like
I'm too cute to wash my facetonight, not that I condone it,
but wash that face, but youdon't have to.

(37:49):
I know we can be cute tomorrowtoo no it's I mean girl, would I
go through to remove this Water?
Ain't removing this honey.

Speaker 1 (37:59):
No, no, no, you better have some good makeup oil
remover or something.

Speaker 2 (38:03):
And that's the last thing too.
When I say water-resistant,waterproof.
If you cry, I tell my ladies,like, if you're sweating, you're
crying, you get anything wet onyour face, just be cute and fan
it off, it will disappear.
Yeah, your face, just be cuteand fan it off, it will
disappear.
Yeah, because we're not puttingpowder over top, it doesn't
even require powder.
You're not getting thatstreakiness, none of that.
You just let it dry, let it be.

(38:23):
You're water resistant girl.
I'm so spoiled you are girl I amgirl, why I tell you and I'll
be like jessica, what you doing.
My boy, you got some openings,can you please?

Speaker 1 (38:33):
see me.
Yes, she done my makeup y'all.

Speaker 2 (38:36):
She does an amazing.
She does my makeup.
It's an amazing job.
It looks great.
Can you tell us about abreakthrough, mama?
You experiencing your ownjourney of self-acceptance?
Because when you were talkingabout um, you were talking about
basically how performativeeverything has become and you
just like I'm not doing this.

(38:56):
Okay, let's, let's go back tothat and then we'll answer this
question.
What made you say one day likeI'm done with this.
I'm gonna do what's appealingfor me, what feels good for me,
and I'm not following what themasses are doing out here?
What made was it burnout whereyou was just like this ain't
working, I ain't doing it, nomore.
It was.
It was a little bit ofeverything.

(39:19):
It was around covid time, okay,and I was like all right,
everything is getting slow.
This.
I put all my eggs in thisbasket, and so when you get to
the point, where you're like youknow, I don't know what's about
to.
What's about to come up andtrying to continue to come up
with different solutions or tryto reach everywhere, just like

(39:42):
going through Pinterest what arethey doing and what, what?
I couldn't keep up with that.
And after a while of feelinglike I'm just not like her, I
just can't show up like them, orwhy don't I get the same
response, and after a while it'sjust like I'm tired of beating

(40:02):
myself up.
I am so over feeling this way.
I am so over like, because I'mreally good at going in those
cycles, I'm really good atfeeling, oh, those cycles, I'm
really good at feeling, oh, thisis good, I got this, don't
nobody do nothing like this.
Like I came up with thisairbrush stuff just like this
and nobody else.

(40:22):
And then you post and it's like, oh, nobody cares, oh, nobody's
going to see it or nobody'sgoing to.
And so after a while of goingback and forth with myself's
like why do I care so much aboutwhat the response is, or why do
I care so much about trying tokeep up with everybody else?
I can't do it because that'snot for me, that's not me,

(40:45):
that's just not who I am.
That's right.
And that was the moment where Ihad to realize that I was just
pushing myself outside of who Iwas like.
I just didn't want to be me,and so it took some time to be
alone and practice and reallysharing my gift when it was

(41:06):
natural.
So, again, when I startedteaching pole and really just
having conversations likeoutside of makeup because makeup
was now my normal, but pole wasbrand new it was a lot more
chill.
You know the the conversationswere different and I started to
really be able to see the truevalue that I can give to people.

(41:29):
That was beyond makeup.
Yeah, I was putting myself inthat box of I'm a makeup artist,
I have to do makeup.
This is all that I got.
Yeah, and once I realized that,oh fuck, that I have so much
more I and I had to accept itfirst.
Right, absolutely, I had to getit first.

(41:50):
So in that, going through andlearning how to trust myself and
building that strength andreally being proud of myself for
being consistent and forshowing up for me and doing the
things that I want, that startedto spread out.
Yeah, and I can't say it was oneparticular moment or one
particular breakthrough, becausethis is a choice I have to keep

(42:12):
making it sure is I have tokeep making it sure is, I have
to keep making it sure is youwill always keep making that
choice until you finally getthere, and I still believe there
are going to be things thatpresent itself to you that's
going to make you keep makingthat choice over and over again.
So, I had to accept the factthat I'm always in transition.

(42:32):
I'm always transforming, intransition, I'm always
transforming.
There's always going to be anew level, a new hurdle, a new
challenge for me to learnthrough and to grow through grow
yeah, so it's not like I waslooking for a place to be done.
When I have this, I'm good orI'll be finished.
I'll be perfect when I hit this, and that's not and that's how

(42:53):
it is, but that's how it feels.
Yes, that's how it feels.
That's how it feels and I'mlike I was told a lie.
I don't like this life isreally long.
Why do I have to?
keep doing this really long.
I'm like, why shoot, where arethe lies?
What you say?

(43:14):
Life is really long.
I'm like, oh man, I just madeit to 30s.
There's so much more left,there's so.
And there will be times when Iwas younger where I was like,
all right, let's just phone itin, let me just get through it.
But it just it keeps coming.
And so I was faced with thepoint of okay, what are you
gonna do like?
Are you gonna continue actingand living this way, or are you

(43:36):
gonna make it better foryourself because nobody else is
gonna come and do it?
Ain't nobody gonna come andsave me?

Speaker 1 (43:41):
I'm not, no nobody owes me anything that's right.

Speaker 2 (43:46):
So I love that.
I really do you want toelaborate more on?
You know, the journey or thatpart in your life where you feel
like you know this is myself-journey acceptance?
You, you said you know to me,you cover that, but is it
something else?
You know that led you there aswell?

(44:07):
Besides, you know incorporatingmakeup and pole dancing like
something very solo.
Well, yeah, all of it was moreof like a solution for me, or,
yeah, I'm trying to answer allof my own problems because I
felt like I'm not feminineenough.
I'm none of what you know.

(44:28):
16 year old Jessica, orgraduating Jessica, thought that
I would be calm.
I can look at all the thingsthat I know, I know how to do,
like the skills that I built,but look at the actual results
or what I've actually done, andit's really easy to be like girl

(44:51):
.
What's wrong with?

Speaker 1 (44:52):
you Yep.

Speaker 2 (44:53):
What, why?
And it wasn't until I reallyrealized and accepted it.
For me, like you're not, it'snot going to get better.
And if this is your habit, Imade it a habit of being down on

(45:13):
myself.
I made it a habit of judgingmyself.
I made it a habit of doing thisand, at the same time, being a
makeup artist and having allthese shoots and still having
these conversations with womenand hearing the same things over
and over and over again,especially with women 40 and up
or 60 and up, and they'rethey're telling me stories of.

(45:35):
I'm just now learning how tolove myself.
I'm just now figuring out I'vededicated my life to my kids and
now they're grown and they'regone and I don't know what to do
and I'm like, ok, I want tolove all y'.
They're gone and I don't knowwhat to do and I'm like, okay, I
want to love on y'all.
I want, I want to help you tofeel good in this way, but also
I want to take this lesson fromyou and learn how can I avoid
that good for you, how can I doit for me?

(45:56):
But what I'm still learning andstill accepting is that, again,
it's not a sprint.
It's not a sprint.
It's not like a magic spell.
So I wish I could bippity,boppity, boop and be like I
don't really do and just let itbe done.
But it's, that's not how itworks.

(46:18):
I know and so and you'relearning.
So, young girl, you're learningat least a decade.
You know ahead of everyone thatyou're speaking to, so you're
gonna be a decade ahead.
But that's the thing.
I always felt behind.
I always felt like I'm catchingup, I'm not where I should be,
because maybe the people youwere following.
Maybe they were where you atthat time, you know, just wanted

(46:43):
to be.
I really want to blame it allon that, but I know it was me,
it was you.
Yeah, sometimes we just compareourselves to like where someone
is in their journey and it'swhere your goal is, but in your
own different, unique way.
And so then you kind of feellike, oh my gosh, like they are
so far ahead, I'm so far behind,like I gotta do this, I gotta
do that and that's when youreally start losing touch of

(47:05):
yourself.

Speaker 1 (47:06):
Oh yeah, yeah, that's exactly what happened, yeah.

Speaker 2 (47:08):
Yeah, so growing up I was one of those kids that
would watch like Star Search orDisney Channel.
I was like oh, I'm like y'allcute, but I can do that.
Oh, I would really hope to benoticed.
That's what I really, what Irealized, Like I wouldn't put

(47:31):
myself out there, I wouldn'tallow myself or open myself up.
I was wanting or needing to bediscovered.
I was needing for somebody tocome and tell me oh, I see the
value in you.

Speaker 1 (47:45):
Oh my gosh, you're so valuable.

Speaker 2 (47:47):
And that never happened.
And then when it did starthappening in my artist community
or as I was becoming an artist,I couldn't receive it.
Why I couldn't receive it?
I didn't believe it.
I did not believe it.
Do you feel like it took toolong for you know that
recognition to happen and that'swhy you couldn't receive it?
It was more like what you knowabout me, what you know, what do

(48:12):
you know, you don't know me.
I love that I can be of service, but also this is customer
service.
Or when I got it back, peopleoh, you look so pretty, oh your
makeup is so pretty, oh, this isthat.
And I couldn't take it because,again, that is so outer layer.
It is that I really felt likeyou don't know me.

(48:34):
Yeah you want them to see thevalue from within, exactly so,
or after a while, I'm like Ineed to.
I need to love that part of meso that I can even let it show.
So you're rejecting that part ofyou, yeah, you know, and then
expecting people to accept itExactly, but then you're
rejecting it.
So why would they accept therejection of what you also
rejecting yourself Exactly?
It don't make no sense.

(48:54):
That's right.
Yeah, that's true, it happens,though it does, you know, we
aren't like.
So I love listening to him whenI'm working out, and that's
something he brought up, so I'm.
When you mentioned that, that'swhat came to my mind, because
he was said he, the podcast iscalled, you can't sit with us.

(49:16):
And he said are you invitingall of you to the table, not the
parts that you reject, but theparts that you accept?
And then you're sitting arounda group of people that's gonna
only accept those parts.
So then when you want to bringthe rejection to the table, it's
like, oh, but you, youexpecting them to accept that
and you don't.
That makes no sense.
It does not make no sense.

(49:36):
And I think that's another partthat really drew me into pole,
because in pole I could justopen up and be silly and be
weird, and and you are open youknow you are fun, like uh-huh,
like you are not like a personthat's stiff and like um, like I

(49:58):
don't know the word maybe likeconservative.
You know you are bubbly, alwayshappy.
You know just a good aura to belike, a good, positive aura to
be around.
So sometimes in the beautyindustry it's very vain, yeah,
you know, and it's hard to kindof be yourself.
Sometimes people think theenergy you know should be vain

(50:19):
and just closed off.
You know.
You know I can be, I could bevery grateful and say I have
never really been around thosepeople, I've never really been
in that situation, I've alwayseither.
I'm just so grateful observingyou know from different
platforms.
You know, I'm like that's, it'spretty vain.
You know, in some uhatmospheres, yes, yeah, or

(50:41):
especially when it's competitivewhen it's competitive.
When it's competitive, notcollaborative yeah, everybody
wants to have like thiscelebrity style look, but I'm
like, no, yeah, my, I have beenblessed to attract with the
personality that I have letthrough they usually say that,
though, yeah they say that younormally book people who are

(51:04):
very similar to you.
Yeah, so when it comes to likebridezillas, never.
Yeah, I've had the best timewith my brides and and I let
them know like I'm going to bein your personal space during
your day.

Speaker 1 (51:19):
It has to be.

Speaker 2 (51:21):
The least I can do is make sure that you feel
comfortable.
And I'm the last step beforeyou go out on your wedding day.
This is like the biggest dayfor you to have your makeup done
, because you really arestepping into a brand new
identity.
That's right.
So I want to make sure thatwe're doing this right.
So, girl, if somebody is herethey ain't supposed to be here,
yeah.
If there's somebody that youdon't want them out, yeah.

(51:43):
But like, I'm here for you,yeah.
And that's why you don't runinto bride zealots, because you
do have an opportunity to builda rapport, whether that's
through consulting or the makeuptrial, and that's why I feel
like I can run into somebridesmaid zealots, because we
just don't know each other.

(52:03):
You know, we haven't had anopportunity to have, you know,
reoccurring conversations, toeven understand each other,
because this term brazil, I'mlike where?
Who created it?
We said not me, because I'mlike I don't have brazil is.
My brides have been amazing.
Yeah, it's usually thecounterparts, yeah, and I just
feel like it's not theirpersonality.
It's just that we haven't hadan opportunity to build that

(52:24):
rapport.
I don't know you like that andyou don't know me.
We haven't built the trust.
Unlike me and the bride, youknow there'd be a lot of stuff
that go into it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (52:32):
No.

Speaker 2 (52:33):
I'm learning that.
You know, okay, what you havedone has worked.
It's working.
Yeah, what is blocking you fromletting everything out, thing
out like, so building that, thatpractice and that confidence in
in my safe space, yes, isallowing me or helping me to
really open up and just give ahundred percent and then let

(52:53):
y'all deal with it afterwardsbecause I got, I've been holding
too much back and it's like Idon't know how to get it out, so
we just going to word vomit andthen we can figure it out.
That's right.
No, seriously, okay, how do youintegrate the lessons you've

(53:15):
learned from pole dancing intoyour life as a makeup artist?
Oh well, I think it's a littlebit backwards.
I think makeup oh okay, makeupinspires more how I move and
pull, maybe not just makeup, butmakeup and photography.
My experience being in thestudio of okay, I know what

(53:37):
you're going for.
I already know how you feel.
I've heard these stories overand over again.
It has really taught me how tospeak and how to kind of just
girl, like, get out of your ownhead, big sister, you right,
like, okay, you trippingabsolutely and you need somebody
that'll be.
Like, all right, you tripping,you can do this.

(53:58):
Just get over yourself and keepit doing so.
My knowledge of posing and justhelping women through those
awkward situations has reallyhelped me to give better
direction while I'm in pole.
I love that and, yeah, it alsotaught me to let them or have a

(54:20):
moment or a few classes ofgetting to know each other.
I can't go in with a hard andfast plan like you got to know
this, this and that, like I haveto get to know you that's too
much pressure it is.
I mean, we talking about poe.
Yeah, that's a lot of pressure,yeah, it's a whole lot of
pressure.
You're you coming in with these, these conceptions and these
ideas, and so it's like and youlike attacking them, girl and

(54:42):
they're coming in like break itdown, let it go, let it go.
Let it go, let it go likethere's no perfection, there's
no, you just just be yourself.
Yeah, so the makeup has reallyhelped me figure out how to, how
do I teach really, or just howto get the message across a
little bit better.
But you feel like the makeup isfirst because you've been in

(55:04):
makeup, you know before poledancing yeah, because I can see
it going either way, dependingon what you were doing first.
Yeah, it really inspired me towell, it gave me a more
confidence.
Yes, for because I'm like okay,I know, I know posing, I know
what looks good, I know how tomake people look good, I get the
idea and I guess,metaphorically, I like the idea

(55:26):
of the pole being.
You know, a straight isrepresenting of the masculine.

Speaker 1 (55:32):
And me.

Speaker 2 (55:34):
I heighten my feminine and trying to be fluid
and curvy and flowy and justfree.
And just free, because whenyou're masculine or when you
have a strong core, when youhave a rock that you're solid
you know it's going to hold meyou can let go and flow.
So I built that little metaphorin my head and it just worked

(55:55):
for me.
Yeah, I love that Absolutely.
So what role does communityplay in both makeup and pole
dancing?
Oh, it's everything.
It's everything, because doing,doing things by yourself, I
mean we have to do everything byourselves.
Yeah, I mean, at the end of theday, any self-love work it I.

(56:17):
You can go to all the talks,you can listen to all the
podcasts, read all the books,but until you decide that you
want to do something for you,nothing is going to happen so I
can't.
It's an action, exactly.
It's not.
It's not abstract that I wasvery concrete I can't make you
do it and I can't help you ifyou don't want to.
So with that, like I can justonly create an opportunity and

(56:40):
pull was what I want.
I was tired of being in thehouse.
I I'm like I am bored.

Speaker 1 (56:45):
You need to get out.
Yeah, I need to get out.

Speaker 2 (56:47):
I don't really want a club, but I want to dance.
I don't really want to bearound a whole lot of people.

Speaker 1 (56:52):
Where's that happy medium?
Exactly, where's that happymedium?
And I?

Speaker 2 (56:55):
found it at pole.
And so now I'm like, okay,because I feel safe, because I
enjoy it here, let me go aheadand expand.
And I can set the tone of beingokay, this is the community, we
are all besties here.
Because I mean we're going toget comfortable, we all half
naked anyway, yep, yep.
So I can set the tone of besilly, say the thing Let loose,

(57:18):
like, move around, like this issafe, nobody's going to leave
and talk about you later.
That's right, you know you don'thave to worry about.
Oh, she did.
There's none of that.
And, like I found in my polepartner, you may be with
somebody, or experience somebody.
That is strengths that areopposite of yours, that you can
go in and so you can learn fromthem.

(57:39):
You can pull from other people.
And now, instead of scrollingand looking for inspiration, our
inspiration is right in frontof us.
Yeah, we have accountabilitypartners and it's not just, oh,
I'm here with my one best friend, like I'm trying to make
everybody mix and mingle and getto know everybody.
Again, there's it's a verysmall space, so let's all be

(58:03):
cool, let's all be comfortable,and now you can, you can feed
off of each other a little bitbetter, but it being in real
life versus being online ormanufactured yeah, it's.

Speaker 1 (58:16):
I've heard about the pole dancing.

Speaker 2 (58:18):
Yeah, oh, manufactured pole dancing.
Yes, well, I was.
I'll call it manufacturedbecause it's virtual to me
that's like a manufactured poledancing.
I mean, yeah, you know but yeah,having having a community to do
it with you, to cheer you on, Imean I can do all things.
And through the power of abunch of women clapping their
hands and saying, hey, yeah,good job, like we're cheering

(58:41):
each other on, because sometimesthat's what you need.
You just need, you just needsomebody to hype you up, because
I feel like the virtual poledancing there is absolutely no,
I mean, they have onlinecommunity.

Speaker 1 (58:51):
They do.

Speaker 2 (58:52):
But I do wonder what?
How does it feel different fromthe online, opposed to, you
know, like being in person andactually really connecting with
people?
I did online classes and I wasnot ready.
You have to be a little bit moreexperienced.
Unless it's like a straight upbeginner's class, it does

(59:13):
require that stamina and thatexperience.
But when you come in in person,you have that opportunity to
get your classroom movementstailored towards you and correct
it and correct it Like on thespot.
Absolutely, because your formis so important.
But it's really important to meto build that relationship so
that you can really get what youwant out of it.

(59:35):
Yeah, and then after you learnthe basics and you're more
comfortable, then you can moveon to the online classes.
Yeah, with you know, with yourknowledge base.
But when you're just gettingstarted again, you need to work
on, like, how you feel aboutyourself and how, because we've
all brought gym equipment thatwe don't use.
We all have a lot of stuff thatjust started in the inspiration

(59:56):
, yeah, and then just died off,yeah.
But when you have your people,you have that confidence in your
foundation, then it's a littlebit easier.
It's a lot more fun to actuallycontinue and keep going.
I agree.

Speaker 1 (01:00:10):
Yeah, there's levels to this, absolutely.

Speaker 2 (01:00:13):
So what are your goals for the future, in both
makeup artistry and pole dancecoaching?
So, as I grow, I really justit's weird to say, but I feel
like it's gonna come to me.
I feel like that this is theyear that I have to really move
with intuition and trust myself.

(01:00:35):
So, at the core of it, it'ssharing what my solution is for
me and learning how to reallyopen up and shine at 100.
Let your brightness out, let itdo the things, yes, and then
what's supposed to happen?
What's coming to?
you will be attracted in,especially with pole dancing

(01:00:56):
being so new yes, you know,absolutely, I can see that, and
you, you're like a veteran inmakeup, you know, and so, with
makeup, I want to.
I want a community where wecould subscribe and practice the
, the mental part, the, the slow.
I'm taking my time, I'm lovingme during the application and I

(01:01:18):
would love to geek out with someother makeup artists and really
just spill all the beans on howto airbrush and what you need
and all of that.
And that's again because I'm amakeup geek, absolutely.
But, um, I really want mostlyfreedom.
I want my time, I want to havea great time and I want to be

(01:01:41):
around people who are learningand growing and expanding and
are going off and doing amazingthings for whatever that is or
whatever that means for them.
So, instead of being the one togo out and do all the makeovers
myself, I just want to shareeverything that I know and try
to spread it around and use my,my best skills of strategizing

(01:02:06):
and coming up with theseformulations.
Well, formulations, coming upwith these techniques, but they
are, though it is a formulation,it's a formulation.
I just like the way how youyour foundation to get to the
formulation.
Yeah, you know, becauseformulations wouldn't feel so
negative or just discouraging,that's the word.
Yeah, discouraging if you getthe foundation of let, or just
discouraging, that's the word.
Discouraging If you get thefoundation of let's just have

(01:02:28):
fun, see what we come up with,exactly, you know, and just go
from there Exactly, goingthrough the flow.
So with other artists teachingthem how to look at their
clients and really honor theirbeauty in a way that's natural
to them and how to apply it withthe airbrush, and just the

(01:02:50):
quick things that I do, maybenot on the forefront like I'm
thinking of, but the quickthings that will make the actual
process easier and the finalresults a lot better.
But also being able to givethat feedback like, hey, jessica
, how can I make this?
better hey, how can I fix thisor how do I put this together?
Oh, girl, I got you because Isaid I spent the last 10 years

(01:03:14):
yeah, oh my gosh, the lastdecade really perfecting, um,
this makeup process, justbecause I love it so much, and
so I love sharing it with myclients, but I also want to
share it with other artists whocan pick it up and run with it
Absolutely.
So what is one key takeaway youwant listeners to remember
about self-confidence and beauty?

(01:03:35):
When it comes to makeup andpole dancing, the main thing is,
again, it's between you and you.

Speaker 1 (01:03:43):
You versus you.

Speaker 2 (01:03:44):
It's always you versus you yeah, like I can tell
you all the things, I can pointyou to the podcast.
I can write blogs, we can.
We can do all the do because Idone, did it.
Yeah, I did it.
I read it all and nothingchanged, nothing mattered,
nothing adjusted until I reallydecided and committed to

(01:04:06):
allowing myself to open up yesand being okay with doing my
best.
Yes, and so if even every day Ican't show up fully 100, I'm
showing up and I'm giving iteverything and learning how to
forgive myself, learning how tocome back around that's a hard
one and and to continue so itwas.

(01:04:30):
That is.
It was not until I accepted.
It was not until I, I was okaywith just being me.
Yes, that anything could happenor I can even allow anything in
.
So, yeah, I can tell you allthe stuff and whatnot, but it
will not matter until you decideit for you, just like I

(01:04:52):
couldn't accept anything fromanybody until I accepted it for
myself.
So I'm just gonna throw outthere what works for me.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna share whatI enjoy and what I love, and
then, when you're ready, thenI'm here.
Absolutely.
But you can't make nobody donothing.
No, and what they say.
You can bring the horse to thewater, but you can't make a

(01:05:15):
drink and you don't need justone sip girl, what so the night
drink the whole pun you need thewhole thing, because it's not
just one decision, it's makingthe same choice over and over
again, maybe every day Choosingyou, maybe every hour.
Over and, over and over again.
Just coming back to it and it'slike, okay, I am committed to

(01:05:36):
opening it up, and then it getseasier.

Speaker 1 (01:05:38):
Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2 (01:05:42):
Okay.
So how can listeners getinvolved in pole dancing or book
makeup appointments with you?
Oh lord, oh no, they come ondown um, and I will share all of
these links in the description,you know, of the video on
youtube and also on buzzsprout,so that you know whenever she do

(01:06:02):
say this information, y'all canactually have the information,
so it don't be so hard, youdon't be so overwhelmed like,
let me get it right.
Let me get it right.
Yeah, where's everything?
But everything's in my name,jessicablinscom.
You can go there and you canjoin my email list and you can
find some of my makeup, umtutorials or classes.
And then for pole dancing I'magain.

(01:06:23):
I'm still rather small, so youcan reach out to me on instagram
, jessica blends, and our polestudio is in carpus cove, so I
have small classes there inperson.
But if people are like, listen,I can't come out, I want to do
something at home, well then, wecan definitely expand and start
doing things online.

(01:06:44):
So if you're interested, justreach out and let me know and
then we'll figure it out.
We'll figure it out.
But when it comes to makeupagain, yeah, I'm in Killeen, the
classes are online and if youwant to feel and experience the
airbrush for yourself,definitely reach out to me and
we can break it down for you.
Like, it's something you haveto experience at least once.

(01:07:07):
But I'm telling you, after thefirst experience, it will be
very hard to go back.
It's going to be very hard togo back.
I'm telling you, the first timeyou airbrushed me, I was like,
oh my gosh, I could wear thisall day.
I don't feel like ugh, I hatefeeling the makeup.

Speaker 1 (01:07:25):
That's the main thing , especially if I don't feel
like, uh, you know I hatefeeling the makeup, yeah, you
know so.

Speaker 2 (01:07:27):
Yeah, that's the main thing, especially if you don't
wear it a lot.
You know so, man, you hatefeeling anything on your face.
Exactly, it's uncomfortable and, again, if you're not
comfortable, then you're notreally showing up, as you're
foolish, you can't.
You're thinking about your faceor what you look like.
You're not focused on whatyou're supposed to be doing.
Very, very true, that's what Iwant All right girl I love it.
Well, thank you so much forcarving time out of your busy

(01:07:48):
schedule to share with us today.
I really appreciate you.
I love how you articulate andexpress yourself, so I had to
invite you on as a guest,because when you are doing my
makeup and we are just havingour conversations, I'm like
people need to hear her Girl.
I'm like people need to hearher.
I need to know this hidden gem,honey, because I feel like it's

(01:08:08):
so many people out here onthese platforms and there are so
many hidden gems that are notgetting pushed and noticed and,
for whatever reason, I'm likelet's start exposing these
hidden gems so people can knowwho these people are.
And I appreciate you.
When I met you, you I was in aplace of really starting to

(01:08:30):
expand or really trying tofigure myself out, and we really
just clicked.

Speaker 1 (01:08:34):
We did and when I tell you, I don't click, I'm not
.

Speaker 2 (01:08:38):
I mean, I'm a friendly person, but I don't but
there's a difference betweenfriendly and clicking, yeah,
it's different.
And so throughout ourrelationship, just watching you
grow and all of the things thatyou're doing for your family and
to expand, just after movinghere brand new and picking up it
was, it was really likeinspiring and even with you and

(01:08:59):
our relationship, I'll be honest, like I had a moment where I'm
like, damn, I need to be likeKenetra, I can't hang out with
her because I don't have my shittogether.
She don't look at me like.
I'm like and I know that's nothow you felt, but that's how I
felt and that's just kind oflike from the outside looking in
, because it's like you only seethe exterior but not knowing
what the interior is you know,it's just like yeah, I'm still

(01:09:22):
working on it, I'm stillfiguring it today, still trying
to figure it out.
I don't care what's being posted.
You know, one day I'll get tothe place where I can share the
struggle.
Yeah, you know, but right now,it's not that I don't want to
share.
I do want to share.
But the way how everything likeI have to get where you are,

(01:09:49):
honestly, where it's like honey,this is what's working for me.
I'm not working with how peopleand social media want us to
work.
In order to show up, I have toget where you are.
So, girl, what are you talkingabout?
Well, I'm glad we're here.
Because we were.
I felt like we come back.
We came back at the perfect timebecause you know, we will meet
up taco tuesday every tuesdaythe taco place ain't even there,
no more.
It ain't even there, no moreand that was our spot every
single tuesday and kobe hit andthen it just went kind of like

(01:10:12):
we lost it so I'm like okay wejust gotta get back there, you
know, and we will, but I'm sograteful for you girl, thank you
because I would not have donethis if you had not asked me.
I going onto a podcast wouldhave been so much more scary and
intimidating, like if it hadbeen with anybody else.

(01:10:39):
I don't, I don't feel like itcould this podcast.
We had to fight for it too, Idon't know, but yeah, just
really allowing yourself to openup, and again, it's something
that I'm encouraging otherpeople to do, while I'm still
learning how to do it myself.
Like you said, it's going to bea transitioning journey.
It's going to always behappening in some kind of way,

(01:11:02):
like the podcast is a new onefor you.
You know, that's why I was likeit's gonna be always things
like opportunities thrown outthere for you to be like okay,
am I gonna step back or am Igonna transition and move
forward with this too.
You know that's what's like.
It's always gonna be somethingto make you keep pushing and
transitioning more and more andmore.
Yeah, I like this, I like ithere.
You might not get rid of me,girl.

(01:11:22):
I'm not trying to let's pull upanother chair.
Who want to come in?
This is a duo now girl, we'llfigure that out too this is it
this feels good and beensearching for more things.
That really lights me up, andwhen you feel it, you gotta
stick to it.
So I'm really proud of you.

Speaker 1 (01:11:43):
I'm really excited with all the things that you've
gotten going on, thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:11:47):
On top of all the stuff that you're doing at home.
Girl, I know you work hard.
I know you work hard.

Speaker 1 (01:11:54):
That's a wrap for today's episode of Hair.
What I'm Saying?
A huge thank you to JessicaWashington for sharing her
inspiring journey in both themakeup and pole dancing world,
reminding us all that beautycomes from confidence within.
If you're looking to elevateyour beauty routine or break
through self-doubt with movement, jessica's got you covered.

(01:12:15):
Be sure to check out her workand follow her for more and, as
always, thank you for tuning in.
If you enjoyed this episode,don't forget to subscribe, share
and leave a review.
Until next time, remember,beauty starts from the inside,
but we can always have funenhancing it.
You, you, you, you, you.