Texturism Starts at Birth- Jasmine Brown Speaks Out

Send us a text

Have you noticed how quickly conversations about Black baby girls turn to their hair texture and skin tone? This episode dives into the uncomfortable reality of how our community scrutinizes Black girls from the moment they're born, sometimes even before. When Cam Newton's child's mother, Jasmine Brown, spoke out about the constant questioning of her daughter's hair and complexion, she hit a nerve that resonates with countless Black mothers. "Why are y'all so freaking critical of little black girls?" she asked, calling out a practice so normalized we barely recognize it anymore.

The truth is, this obsession with Black girls' aesthetic features isn't just annoying, it's rooted in generations of colorism and texturism dating back to slavery. We've internalized these beauty hierarchies so deeply that we perpetuate them with our seemingly innocent questions: "Does she have hair","What's her complexion", "Is her texture more like yours or his?"

What's most concerning is how these questions prioritize appearance over personality, health, or development. We're subtly teaching our daughters that their worth depends on their curl pattern and skin tone before they can even understand words. And when someone like J Brown calls it out, they're often gaslit or accused of exaggerating. 

As both a hair professional and a mother, I've seen both sides of this dynamic. I've caught myself comforting moms worried about their baby's hair growth and wondered about my own daughter's features during pregnancy. This episode isn't about shame but awareness. Our daughters deserve to be celebrated for who they are, not what grows from their scalps.

Ready to break this cycle? Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. And if these conversations matter to you, consider supporting this self-funded podcast by clicking the link to buy me a coffee. Every contribution helps keep these crucial discussions going.

Support the show

Are you a part of our Patreon Community and Family?
Join us today and let’s continue building and fostering healthier connections with our hair—from the inside out. As a member, you’ll get access to bonus episodes, behind-the-scenes content, limited e-books, early access, and a supportive space for real conversations that go beyond the mic.

Do you have a story to share that’s worth our listeners hearing, please fill out the Listener Letters Form and tell us your story! We would love to hear from you!

Don't forget to follow Kinetra on Instagram @_hairwhatimsaying_ and check out her website Hair What I'm Saying for more.

Please leave a review and rate the show. Let us know how we are doing!

Support the Hair What I’m Saying Podcast
💛 From the bottom of my heart, thank you for being part of this community.
buymeacoffee.com/hairwhatimsaying

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
You guys?
Let me know if this is a realthing.
Other moms who have daughters,black daughters, people are so
obsessed with their skin colorand their hair texture.
From the moment people foundout I had a girl, they were like
, does she have hair?
Does she have hair?
And I'm like no, not really.
She was bald-headed.
She just had two little piecesin the front and then like, oh,

(00:22):
she's going to have a lot ofhair, she's going to have a lot
of hair, she's gonna have a lotof hair.
The bald ones always have a lotof hair and it's like, okay.
And then it's like, when herhair started to come in, they're
like, oh, I wish her hair socurly.
Blah, blah, blah.
Like I wonder if she's gonnahave your texture, if she's
gonna have your hair, or she canhave cam's hair.
What color is she like?
What's her complexion?

(00:43):
Why are y'all so freakingcritical of little black girls?
It's disgusting.
She's a baby.
Oh, it's.
How's her texture of curls,though?
Like?
Is it like?
Is it like yours or is it morelike his?
What is wrong with y'all?

Speaker 2 (01:04):
whoo.
Y'all heard that from j Brown,cam Newton's child's mother, and
if you're just tuning in,welcome back to Hair.
What I'm Saying?
I'm your host, kenetra, andtoday we're diving into exactly
why her words struck such anerve.
She's not exaggerating, she'snot seeking attention, she's not
making it up.
This is real and it's somethingthat's been ingrained in our

(01:24):
culture for generations theobsession with black hair, black
skin and especially how itshows up in our daughters from
the moment they are born.
Let's just sit with that for asecond, because tell me why the
first questions people ask abouta baby girl have nothing to do
with her health, her smile, herlaugh, her little personality.
I mean, it do, but it's not thefocus.

(01:48):
It's usually around aestheticslike hair, what grade it is, you
know, is it like mommy's, is itlike daddy's?
It's just not normal.
It is definitely conditioningand it's not new.
This comes straight out ofcolorism and texturism, out of
slavery days, when skin tone andhair texture determined who was

(02:09):
considered desirable oracceptable, who was the house
slave, who was the field slave,and what hurts the most is that
it didn't stop with them.
We've carried it right into ourown culture.
We repeat the same questions,the same judgments.
And now it's our babies whofeel it, before they can even
talk.
I see it all the time in mychair Moms bringing in little

(02:32):
girls worried about why theirdaughter's hair isn't growing
fast enough or why it doesn'tlook like their siblings texture
when they have the same mom anddad, the comparison.
I can only imagine theemotional impact of the child
with the less desirable hair andlisten, I get it.
Society has made us think hairand its texture equals beauty

(02:54):
and if your child doesn't haveit, something is wrong.
The child is inadequate,they're going to get bullied and
all of the unhealthy emotionalthoughts that come into mind
whenever we are just kind of onewanted to keep our children
safe, or not even kind of.
That's the goal to keep themsafe from the stereotypes of

(03:15):
what the beauty standard hasbeen curated around.
So yeah, it definitely becomesa worry and a concern.
Yeah, it definitely becomes aworry and a concern.
I've even caught myself tryingto comfort moms by saying well,
babies born with less hairusually have the most later,
especially when they have a baldbaby, and yeah, it gives them a
little relief in the moment.
But why do we even feel theneed to say that?

(03:37):
Or why do I feel the need tosay that?
Rather, why do we act like ababy with no hair is a crisis,
y'all.
Bald babies are normal.
Babies with two strands are notnormal.
And a baby with kinky curls,coils, waves, whatever all
normal.
Before my own daughter was born,I can admit that even I was

(03:58):
wondering if she would have hairnot concerned with the texture
or curl pattern, just if shewould have it.
I wasn't obsessing, but as amom you start imagining your
child's little features andwondering what comes from you,
what comes from their dad.
But the first aesthetic featureI was thinking about was
definitely her hair, and I don'tknow if that was rooted in my

(04:22):
upbringing conditioning, but Ilove hair.
As a professional, I've alwaysloved hair since I was nine
years old, so I believe some ofthat also is connected to that,
on top of some conditioning aswell.
But I'll never forget when Iwent in for an ultrasound, the

(04:42):
doctor actually showed me herhair follicles in the scan.
She already had hair before shewas born.
I didn't ask if she had hairbecause I didn't know.
You could see hair follicles inthe scan.
She was just scanning herlittle head and said, oh look,
she has hair.
When I was in labor, when herhead was crowned and my mom
leaned in and said, oh, she hasa head full of hair crowned.

(05:04):
And my mom leaned in and said,ooh, she has a head full of hair
.
Now here's the thing my momdidn't obsess over texture
either, but she always made it apoint to talk about me having a
head full of hair when I was ababy.
That stayed with me and so,without even realizing it, I
carried some of that curiosityinto my own pregnancy.
These little comments, even theones that seem harmless or just

(05:26):
a proud mama moment, stick.
They become part of the way wethink about beauty, the way we
measure what's special ordesirable, even before the baby
arrives.
But the moment we startcomparing, the moment we start
making comments, we're plantingseeds, seeds that tell that
little girl your beauty is inquestion.

(05:49):
You might not measure up, andby the time she's old enough to
understand words, she alreadyknows she's being judged.
Now let's talk about some of thebacklash that Jasmine
experienced whenever she haduploaded this clip on her social
media.
I believe it was a stories or alive, I don't know, but it was
definitely a social media clip.

(06:10):
And here's what blew my mind.
When Jasmine said this out loud, when she shared her real
experience, people told her shewas making it up Black people.
I couldn't believe that,because this is a thing in our
community and we all know it.
They said she was reaching andshe just wanted attention.

(06:32):
And this is the gaslighting wedo in our community.
Somebody speaks up about whatwe know is happening and instead
of facing it, we dismiss it.
Now, to be fair, some people didcome to her defense.
Some moms were in her commentssaying no, sis, you're not lying
.
I've heard the same thing sincemy daughter was born.
They backed her up.

(06:53):
We want to pretend thisobsession doesn't exist because
it's ugly.
It forces us to look at theways we participate in it.
I'm telling you, you put thatmirror in someone's face,
because when you're aroundpeople, they are a mirror and
they will expose some of thethings you're not ready to work
on.
And that's all I've seen in thecomments.

(07:14):
But let's be clear stop actinglike this isn't a thing in black
culture, because it is.
It's been a thing forgenerations and it's going to
stay a thing if we don't call itout Now.
I'm not here to shame moms oraunties or grandmas.
A lot of times these commentscome from a place of
conditioning, not malice, butthat doesn't make them harmless.

(07:37):
Words stick, and when theystick to little black girls they
grow into insecurities thatlast a lifetime, literally
internalize it.
So we got to do better.
Instead of asking does she havehair, ask how she's doing.
Is she sleeping well?
What's her little personalitylike?

(07:58):
Celebrate who she is instead ofwhat's growing out of her scalp
.
Celebrate who she is instead ofwhat's what's growing out of
her scalp.
Our daughters don't need togrow up thinking their worth
depends on their curl pattern,their skin tone or how fast
their edges come in.
They don't need that weight.
Their beauty doesn't needapproval, it just is.

(08:19):
And if that makes youuncomfortable, good, sit with it
, because the more we keeppretending this doesn't exist,
the more we pass it on andlisten.
If this episode spoke to you,don't keep it to yourself, honey
.
Go ahead and share it like it.
Subscribe and rate the podcast,please.
It helps more people find theseconversations.

(08:39):
On another note, here what I'msaying is completely self-funded
.
That means every episode youhear is straight from me to you.
So if you want to show somelove and keep this space going.
Click the link in the shownotes to buy me a coffee.
Even a small donation makes abig difference, and when you do,
I'll personally shout out youin the next episode and in my
newsletter as a thank you.

(08:59):
The community is built onshowing up for each other, so
every share, every rate andevery cup of coffee, it all
matters.
All right, y'all, until nexttime.
Take care of yourselves andtake care of each other.