March 11, 2025 • 33 mins
Every once in a while, you meet someone who instantly reminds you of someone from your past. That familiar feeling can be comforting or deeply unsettling—but what does it reveal about how we form new connections?
In this thought-provoking discussion, we examine how our previous relationships fundamentally shape our approach to new ones. When you encounter someone who resembles a person from your history, do you catch yourself making snap judgments? We confess to our own experiences with this phenomenon and discuss the challenge of remaining open while still honoring our intuition.
The conversation takes a powerful turn when we explore what we call "the four friends test." Inspired by the biblical story of four men who carried their paralyzed friend through a roof to reach Jesus, we ask: Who are your four friends? Who would go to extraordinary lengths to ensure you get what you need when life gets challenging? This question cuts through the surface-level connections we often maintain and forces us to consider which relationships in our lives are truly transformational rather than merely transactional.
As we share our personal experiences with trust and friendship, we touch on David Yeager's concept that from ages 10-25, we're fundamentally learning who we can trust in the world. These formative experiences create patterns that follow us throughout adulthood. We discuss those pivotal moments when we've had to evaluate which friends are truly "with us" versus those who simply occupy space in our lives.
Whether you're reassessing old friendships or building new ones, this episode offers both practical wisdom and emotional reassurance that everyone faces similar challenges in developing meaningful connections. And as James Dean once said, "You've got to try your luck at least once a day, because you could be going around lucky all day and not even know it."
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Call it in Michigan suck eye.
Somebody did Somebody does.
Speaker 3 (00:03):
All right, all right, are we ready?
Speaker 2 (00:05):
We're recording now.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
We are.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
My buddy Robert Kesey calls the suck eyes, not the
buck eyes.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Yeah, where's he?
Speaker 3 (00:12):
from Michigan.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
I can't say I've never said that, before I've
said it, plenty of times.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Yeah, I appreciate you not saying it now.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
No, you know I wouldn't do that great small
talk, but we want to welcomeeverybody back to Half Century
Hangout.
We've been talking aboutfriendships the last two
episodes and maybe we'll wrapthings up here, but how have
your friendships been going?
You know you've beenreconnecting with some old
friends, or building some newones, or whatever.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I like asking the questions.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
I don't like answering those questions.
You know, I do really try togive my older friends a call
once in a while.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
You mean older, like age?
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Well, everybody's older friends to me, or do you
mean like friends from your past, friends from my past Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
You meant older, I thought.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Friends that I haven't talked to for a while.
You know I do try to stay intouch with friends, giving them
a call.
I am not.
We talked about social medialast time.
I'm not a social media guy.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I think you were surprised.
He doesn't even like to text.
Weren't you surprised?
No, he doesn't.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
I text him and I got nothing.
Email text, anything like that.
There's techno geeks.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
You know which, you know.
We have friends that all fallinto those.
Then you have, like techno techpeople who are like don't know
a thing.
And then there's John.
John's got like a category ofhis own over there, don't you,
john?
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Why, thank you?
I appreciate that that's okay.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
There's nothing wrong with that, I do like technology
, but I am not a social mediaguy.
I think you were very surprisedwhen I put out my post on
Facebook.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
The other day I did laugh.
You put out a Facebook post.
I was cracking it.
Yeah, wow.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
You know, my wife and I went to the theater and we
were watching and yeah, it wasit was an all right show but I
wasn't too impressed with it.
But we always take a pictureand she had it and I'm like, hey
, let me post that.
And luke commented back rightaway.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Oh, I saw it oh my gosh john schultz.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
You posted a post on Facebook.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Well, I think the post came through with cobwebs
on it, like it just kind of cameup and went.
It was a little bit slow comingthrough, but you know it was
all right.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Oh my goodness, Just the fact that I'm hanging out
with a dude that says he went tothe theater man.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
That puts me in a different category I know, I do
that.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
I said cachet last episode.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
so what the heck?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
I think it's funny how you said about you know,
with friends and old friends andthings like that, that this
time of the year for me is bigand I can't wait till next time.
But we're coming up, we'regetting closer to St Patrick's
Day Yep, let's go, which for meis like kind of a big thing.
Again, not a, as far as I know.
(03:10):
I don't have a lick Irish in me.
There's not one anywhere butliving in Chicago for as long as
I did it just reinvented thewhole thing for me.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
By the way, can I just mention that we are going
to record our next episode,which is going to air the week
of St Patrick's Day infull-fledged brewery which is
here in Council Bluffs, Iowa,and we're going to be hanging
out with Desi and Marshall infull-fledged brewery.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
And it'll be.
You know, we're here in mygarage again today, which is
nice, but it'll be, nice to getout and do it somewhere else,
absolutely, absolutely.
You know have a few drinksalong the way, which we're still
doing now, so it's good.
But I think that what you'veasked about the old friendships
I mean, you can't be as old aswe are and not have old
friendships, right?
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Sure I mean.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
it's just not.
Those two things aren'tmutually exclusive.
So I think that when we talkabout it, when we talk about it,
we have those friendships thatwe really cultivated or got you
through a certain time of yourlife, or we're at a great point
in your life, or maybe they wereat a low point in your life,
(04:15):
and that's why there's so manydifferent things that could
enter into it.
But I think that the one thingthat I always look at is that I
could call that dude today andit would be like we never missed
a beat.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Whether I've talked to him in a year or two or not,
I still have a group of friendsthat we have a group message
that goes out and maybe it's ona birthday or maybe we see
something or some meme.
Usually it's a meme that we seeas highly inappropriate, but
these guys would reallyappreciate it and I'll send it
out and we all laugh about it.
We're kind of spread out now.
(04:50):
We're all over the country.
A couple guys are retiring.
It's fun to just kind of seewhen your kids are getting older
and they're going on to thingsand you see stuff on Facebook
and their kids are gettingmarried and they're having grand
babies and all this stuff andit's kind of like it's cool the
progression of life as we see it.
(05:11):
But we see it with ourfriendships and how that, as you
get older, seemingly moremature, right, seemingly, uh,
how that friendship changes butit grows with it.
It grows at the same time youknow, and where things might not
be as important as they werebefore.
(05:31):
It's still important and youstill talk about it and you
still have a good time with it.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Yeah, and you, you were talking about perspective,
our, our perspective changes aswe get older, as we, as we grow,
as we mature.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
I still don't know what I'm going to grow up.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
I know me neither.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
But we were talking also the other day about how we
might see someone who reminds usof a person in our past.
I think we talked about maybeexploring that concept and
discussing how it might impactour relationships moving forward
.
So how those ways that ourmemories of our past experiences
(06:17):
color our current interactionswith others get.
Maybe we should talk a littlebit about that.
Have you ever met someone youimmediately felt like you know,
I've got some familiarity withthis person, or on the opposite
side, that's too funny.
Oh my gosh, I just saw somebodyI really don't want to see ever
(06:41):
again.
Yeah, you ever got those kindof vibes from people.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yeah, sometimes they're very positive.
So there's a guy that's aroundCouncil Bluffs that reminds me
of a guy named Duke Raymer who Igrew up with.
Duke was one of my very bestfriends.
He now lives in Topeka, kansas,and just Lawrence Kansas.
Just an amazing dude Hung outlast summer a little bit.
(07:09):
And there's a guy around townthat as soon as I look at him,
I'm thinking of Duke, and thiswas Duke whenever he was like a
little bit younger.
And then John you mentioned,like there's some people around
that man.
You look at him and it's like Ithink I start to experience ptsd
(07:30):
right, yeah because, like theyremind you of people from back
in the day where you're like, ohshoot, yeah, I remember that
guy.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
That wasn't a good relationship yeah and so it kind
of drives you back to the placethat you're used to, because,
uh, you know, we come up withthese topics sometimes right off
the top of the cuff, and Ithink that this topic bore
itself completely out of theidea that I was looking at
somebody.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Yeah, you saw somebody.
Yeah, I saw somebody, and Ijust was like oh my goodness.
We should talk about this.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Yeah, we should.
Great porch talk, we alwayshave the positive ones, but man,
those negative ones.
It comes up and you're like, oh, man.
I need to go back to sleep andwake up, and hopefully this
isn't Groundhog Day.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Yeah, yeah, and I think that sometimes, at least
for myself, and actually the daythat we talked about this, when
I mentioned it to you guys andI was laughing when I did it was
I really have to make sure thatI don't become judgmental with
that person, Right, becauseobviously they have nothing to
(08:36):
do with the person.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
They're a completely different person.
No, it's a different person.
It's not fair to them, right?
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Just because it struck something in me a nerve
somewhere doesn't mean thatthey're anything.
It just means that I need tostill treat them, you know, with
respect and whatever.
But I came over to you guysbecause one had just happened
and I was like oh my gosh.
I can feel my right temple.
It's just burning right now,you know, like something's
happening.
But I think that there's alwayspeople and a lot of times those
(09:06):
people when I meet people likethat there's.
There's people around town herethat I've met over the years
that remind me a lot of times ofsome friends that I've had in
the past, or my cousin Eric, wholives up in Michigan, and, you
know, I'm immediately somehowdrawn to them, somehow one way
or the other you know whetherit's on a very superficial level
or whether it's like a hey youknow, dude, you remind me of
(09:31):
this person you know and we justget to talking about something.
And you know, I think it's kindof a gift sometimes for me that
I could pretty much talk toanybody, but sometimes it's
probably a little bit of a youcan talk of a hindrance, you
know, but like even last summerwhen we went to San Diego, right
, and we were out there.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
He could talk to anybody.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
We were just talking with people and like there's
somebody with a dog or you knowwhatever.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
We're out on the pier .
This guy is homeless.
He's talking to him, you know.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
It's Luke.
My wife says I've never met astranger.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
So I think that's not a bad thing.
No, it really is not a badthing.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
It really is not a bad thing, and I think that when
we talk about, like, thelasting effect of relationships,
right, when we see those peoplethat remind us maybe in one way
or the other, whether it's howthey look or how they act or how
they talk or whatever it is Ithink that that helps.
It probably, you know,introduces more endorphins into
(10:25):
our system because it brings usback to a good place or it
brings us back to good memoriesof times past.
Those kind of things I oftentry, especially more lately.
I don't like to say that I livein the past, but sometimes I
get stuck in that a little bit.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Sure.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
And I don't want to do that, but I know and I
realize, and my wife reminds meof it.
Sometimes it's like you know,dude, you need to come back to
reality here.
Yeah, and I get it, but it'slike there was good times and
there's bad times, right foreverybody.
So sometimes those good timesreally come forward and I think,
for me personally, it puts intoperspective some of the things
that you're going through in thepresent.
(11:05):
It's like, hey, this reallyisn't as bad as I thought it was
.
Or this situation that I'mdealing with, really I'm making
it more than it is, sure, or I'mbeing a little dramatic, you
know Right, me, yeah, dramatic,yep, yep.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
I've been there, been there, done that yes.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
But I think that people, people, we work with
people, that we see, you knowwe're drawn to people.
I mean, we're human beings,right?
So you're drawn to a certainkind of people, just naturally.
Whether you're trying to or not, you're drawn because of a
certain thing, right, it's likethe three of us.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Why are we drawn to each other?
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Yeah, just because probably because, at least in my
, in my recollection of what itis is I feel comfortable around
you guys.
Like you said in the lastepisode, I could talk about
something real touchy if Iwanted to.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
And I have yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Now we haven't really done it on air, Not on air
right.
But we've done that and I'mokay with it, because you're
either going to tell me, luke,you're full of crap, or you're
going to be like, yeah, I hearyou, but maybe think about it
this way, or you're going to belike, yeah, I got nothing for
(12:13):
you, bro, you know, I mean, andthat's okay.
Yeah, because really, if you'rein that place where I know that
I could throw anything in youguys' lap, then that's good for
me.
You know, what I mean, that'sthat's good for you, yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
Well, and, and you, you talked a little about
judging people and not judgingby how they look more, and I
think that a lot of times we dojudge people by how they look.
You know, don't judge a book byits cover.
But I also heard you say youknow, maybe the way they act or
(12:44):
the way they talk or the way.
And I had an experience rightwith somebody that maybe acted
or talked that way and it wasnot a very good, it was pretty
negative, and I learned overtime that I don't want to have
an experience like that again.
So I'm probably not going to befriends with that person.
(13:05):
And we talked about how webecome friends with people and
you just talked about us and howwe've kind of become friends
and it's probably a lot becauseyou know we see maybe some other
friends in the people that wehave friends with.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
I think what we do because we're down the road a
little bit further than we werewhen we were in our 20s and 30s,
but I think there's thesecategories that we tend to stick
people in that this person actslike this, so this person goes
in this category.
This person acts like this, sothis person goes in this
category.
I've observed this behavior, soI want to.
This person goes in thiscategory.
(13:47):
I've observed this behavior, sowe're going to stick with this
person in this category.
And so, whether you're aMichigan fan or a Buckeye fan,
right?
Speaker 1 (13:55):
We know what category to put you in, Chuck.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
We're in a category.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
And they're still friends people, they really are
still friends.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
And I think that's the biggest thing, though, is
that you look at it and you say,like you're saying, you put
them in categories, right, inthese categories, how do you say
it?
It's like, ok, there's stillfriendship categories, right.
I mean, there's really goodfriends, there's friends that
are here, you know, there'sacquaintances, there's just
(14:26):
people, right, and I think thatthe more that I look at it and
the more that that we've goneforward, it's.
It's kind of like for us andyou were just bringing this up a
little bit ago, when we talkedabout stats, which we said we
weren't going to do but you saidsomething about podcasts, and
how many, so many podcasts don'tmake it past like five episodes
, right, right.
So here we are in episode eight, and we still have plenty of
(14:48):
stuff to talk about.
It's not like we're drowning forentertainment here right?
No, no, we're not, we can figureit out, but I think that that
says a lot to how our friendshipas a group has even gotten
stronger just since we startedthis, because I think that it
gives us a deeper understandingof each other, which, if we go
(15:09):
back to last episode, thatonline connection you can't
always get that.
I mean, there's body language,there's all sorts of things in
person that you cannot get thesame depth on an online or a
social media or whatever typeconnection.
It's just not quite the same.
(15:30):
It doesn't mean you can't makethose connections.
I just think on a deeper leveland a more meaningful, longer
lasting level, the in-personthing is that much more.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Yeah, I think there's just a back to that point.
I think there's just a qualityaspect there that you can't
achieve a certain quality offriendship without doing,
without actually meeting face toface.
Let me share a story with youguys.
There's a group of guys I hangout with and there's a story
(16:06):
it's out of the good book I hangout with and there's a story
it's out of the good book, theBible right, and it's a story
about four guys who took theirfriend Luke chapter 7, I think
took their friend to Jesus,hopped up on the roof, jumped on
the roof, dug a hole throughthe roof.
(16:27):
This guy couldn't walk, he'sparalyzed.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
Lowered him down.
Lowered him down, right, youknow the story.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Oh, I do know the story and took him to Jesus.
They went to a huge expense,they put themselves out there.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Big risk.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
They were line jumpers.
They jumped to the front of theline.
Yes, yeah, themselves out therebig risk.
And the line jumpers, they jumpto the front of the line, yes,
yeah and so the the question weasked in that group was who are
your four guys?
Speaker 2 (16:55):
who are the four guys that you would that you?
You know that if you were introuble, like if you really
needed something, that theywould get you the help that you
needed.
Do you guys have four guys?
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Well, I have two of them sitting here.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
Okay, there you go.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
But I thought you were going down the thing of
four guys who were going tolower my ass through a roof.
I'm like, well, it depends onwhat we were doing.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
It'd be a big hole, I mean literally.
It's not very nice.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
Hey, I'd be, a big hole too.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
I mean I think that I could you know if I was in a
spot or I knew something wasgoing on, I could find four guys
.
I mean I've got plenty of nowthey might you know.
I guess it depends on proximityhow close they were.
If I needed to have those fourguys like 10 minutes from now,
it would be a little different.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
Well, it probably depends on their skill level too
, right?
Right, yeah, can they use ahammer and saw or dig through a
roof or whatever it is, and arethey strong enough to lower you
down?
But what you're saying is wouldthey get you where you need to
be?
Speaker 2 (18:08):
whatever it needed to be where you need, it doesn't
have to be like like yeah, bigtime like religious stuff or
whatever right it just has to bedo you have like four friends
that you could count on that inin the?
In the end, like you know thatthey would, they would give you
the help that you needed and Ithink that's, uh, that's an, I
think that's an importantquestion.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
That's a good thing to think about, and it kind of
goes back to what we weretalking about last time or even
before then what develops thatfriendship, what makes it from
transaction to transformation,and who are those people that
(18:52):
can help you get better?
You know, building thoserelationships and making them
transformational instead oftransactional.
And that's your four guys,right.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Those are the people that help you get better yeah,
and be a cliche, cliche, betterversion of yourself right, yeah
that's.
that's where we, that's where wewant to be with friends.
We want them to help us getbetter and help us be better,
and I know we're talking alittle bit of how the past
(19:29):
colors our future or colors ourfriendships now.
And I just wanted to mention abook by David Yeager.
It's 10 to 25.
And what he says is from about10 years old to about 25 years
old we're trying to figure outthe world, yeah, and we're
(19:53):
trying to figure out who we cantrust.
And I think trust is a big thingon those four guys.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Yeah, who do you?
Speaker 3 (20:01):
trust to get you there, and I think we've been
talking about that and dancingaround that subject of trust by
saying I could say anything toyou guys and I trust that it
would be received in a way thatwouldn't make me feel bad.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
No, we process it with you.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
That it would make me better.
It would make me think throughwhat I'm saying.
It would make me think abouthow I could play out that,
whatever it is.
But his book says from 10 to 25, we're trying to figure that
out and it kind of goes alongwith what we're saying.
(20:45):
Your experiences with peoplemm-hmm.
Color the relationships you'regoing to have later and you
talked about.
You know, you saw someone wholooked like someone or was doing
something like someone.
And that's when this topic cameup and we said, yeah, that may
(21:12):
not be a bad topic to talk about.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
I think that it's one of those things and you
mentioned trust a few times withthose four guys, if we're using
that analogy with the four guys.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Right.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
I think that for me personally, I have a little bit
of a thing with that, becausethere was a time in my life
where I had to really doublecheck the idea if I trusted
these people.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
And I think it was very hard for me because I'm
probably a little naive when itcomes to that.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Sometimes, where I I don't, I don't.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
I don't look at it deep enough, as I probably
should.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Sure.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
And I think I've probably you know people would
look at it I've probably gottenburned a few times by that Right
which, you know, those thingsfor guys sometimes are hard to
admit right.
Like I don't want to admit thatI did, but I think that there
was a certain time in my lifewhere I had to look at a group
of people that I called myfriends and be like all right,
(22:13):
what side are they on here?
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Are they with me?
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Are they not really with me?
Not that they're necessarilyagainst me, but are they really
with me?
Are they really there?
And those are hard decisions tomake because, especially if
they're your friends or you'vebeen around them as friends,
right, you need to sometimesmake that hard decision to like
what we talked about lastepisode.
You know I'm not going up tothem and saying, hey, you talked
about last episode.
You know I'm not going up tothem and saying, hey, you're out
(22:38):
of my life.
I'm not saying that, but I'mpretty sure that most of those
people knew that I was done withthem.
You know what I'm saying.
Just by lack of whatever wasgoing on, whether it was talking
to them or messaging orwhatever we create distance and
sometimes too I don't know aboutyou guys, but sometimes there
(22:59):
are life takes us in differentdirections.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
So, whether it's your job, or maybe you move from a
different area, or your kids, oryour kids or your time in life
Right.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
There are sometimes things that life just takes you
in different directions and sothose bonds are built maybe
around kind of circumstancesthat are going on and in the
same breath, that same group andtime, where I was questioning
the trust that I had for some ofthose people, some of those
people stepped up and I'm like,oh for sure.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
You know what I mean.
So it's both sides.
You're with me.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
I don't want to be just like the negative, that's
saying oh, you know, thosepeople were whatever.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Because there was a lot of them that were like I'm
here for you, we got this, yeah,we'll do it together, we'll
figure it out.
So there's both sides of itwhere it's not just saying oh,
we're getting the Nellies out,we're figuring out who the
positives are too.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
You know I'm in the same breath.
You go through those times inyour life where you find out who
your real friends are, and Ithink that's what you're talking
about.
We find out who our realfriends are when we go through
those tough times in life.
Those are not easy.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Yeah, I mentioned Duke Raymer.
He's a dude that I think.
I've known him now for 41 years.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
Goodness gracious, isn't that crazy.
That's a long time.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
That's a long time.
And then there's another guy.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
I've been trying to grow grass in my backyard for
that long and it still doesn'twork.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
There's another guy I've been trying to grow grass
in my backyard for that long andit still doesn't work.
There's another guy, uh, russmorningstar, who I've known for
about, uh, probably close to 40years, and you know, those are
the types of guys that that like, even though proximity we
talked one episode aboutproximity, how proximity has
taken us away from thoserelationships.
As soon as I visit Dayton, oras soon as I go back to.
(25:01):
Lawrence or whatever thoseproximities are it goes away,
it's like we never.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
When.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
I go to Hesperia.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Michigan.
Here's what I'm sure they sayabout both of you.
Do you remember the time thatwe were Luke?
We were doing yeah, oh yeah,and we talk about it right when
we're there.
I remember when, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
And it's just one of those things that I think that
for guys like us, we know thosepeople, we know how those
relationships work, we know who,the people in our life that are
important, and we're going tokeep that, no matter what.
You know you don't ever wantthose to go away, you don't want
to diminish it, you want tokeep it there.
And again, if your proximityisn't there, okay.
(25:45):
I mean, life happens, but inthe same breath it's like you
never moved away or whatever.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
You're still there.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
You send your memes every once in a while or give
them a call and right, yeah, Imean, it's just one of those
things where you know, call themat 10, 30 at night, when you
think it's 8, 30, it's just theway it works.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
It's an accident, that's right.
It doesn't matter, it's okaysure you know.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
But I think that I think that for us and for the
people listening I mean again,we're really happy that you
listen to us and we're reallyhoping that some of the things
that we say instill something inyou one way or the other
Positive negatively, hopefully,not negatively, but if it does,
let us know.
Yeah we want to know I thinkthose things are important for
(26:31):
us, no matter what, because youknow our whole goal with this is
not to sit here and talk.
We could sit here and talk allnight, not record it you know,
but the idea is is to helppeople maybe realize or see or
hear that there's somebody elsemaybe going through the same
(26:52):
thing they are or thinking thesame thing or whatever it is.
You know and don't here's thething I kind of laugh, because I
don't want to be a self-helpbook here, because it's not that
.
It's just the idea that there'sso many people in our world
especially in the last let'sjust call it the last 10 years
right, where things have changedso dramatically with social
(27:15):
media, with COVID, with allthese things that are going on,
you need to understand there'sstill people here to help you.
There's still people here thatcare about you.
There's still people here thatyou can make connections with
and that are just like you.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Yeah, and I think that's the key.
Luke, you mentioned that we'rehere.
I think the common experienceis kind of what we're looking at
here.
There are people who willprobably stumble upon this
podcast and say that I get that.
I get that, I get where theseguys are coming from.
(27:50):
And I think there may be evensome of our friends, whether
you're in Hesperia or in Daytonor down in Florida or out in San
Francisco, that are like, okay,there's a freedom, because now,
what I used to feel maybe shameor guilt for at least Chuck and
(28:11):
Luke and John have kind ofexperienced some of these things
same things, and so I thinkthat common experience is
helpful as we navigate thesewaters of relationships.
A hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
Yeah, well, you know, sounds like we're kind of
coming to the end of this showand, luke, you always have a
great quote to share with us.
Did you find something to helpus out, well?
Speaker 1 (28:40):
I think that I mentioned at the beginning and I
just want to.
I like to segue, if I can.
I always try to.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Oh, yes, tradition.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Either do, whatever.
It is that I'm summarizing.
But moving on to the next, andagain, we're coming up close.
We're getting closer to StPatrick's Day, right, mm-hmm.
And again we're coming up close.
We're getting closer to StPatrick's Day, right, and so one
of them that I've heard beforeand I've gone back, but James
Dean actually said this which isactually pretty cool.
A lot of people think he waspretty cool.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Oh yeah, he's a cool cat, he was.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
You've got to try your luck at least once a day,
because you could be goingaround lucky all day and not
even know it.
You know, and coming up to StPatrick's, Day and people talk
about the luck of the Irish.
You know all these things and Ithink that it's important I
mean you can read into that alittle more where it's not just
about the luck.
I mean he's talking about abigger situation you know, that
(29:37):
you can't just roll your daywithout rolling the dice once or
twice, right, right, if I wantto say something to Chuck, I'm
going to go say it to himbecause his office is right next
to mine, right, but if Johnanswers his radio, which doesn't
happen all the time, but if Icall, him.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
I usually don't have it, yeah, or the volume's not up
or something.
Or it's on the wrong station,or it's on the wrong station.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
I know that I can, but I know that I'm going to.
You know what I mean?
Right, and there's been momentswhere all three of us, one way
or the other back and forth,have gone to one of us to say
something that's just undertheir skin at that moment, or
it's a celebration of some kindthat we don't know about, but
we're always willing to be ableto step out and say something,
(30:20):
and I think it's important forpeople to do that, because I
think too many times and maybethis is part of the idea with
the social media, where peoplekind of aren't as comfortable
doing that as they used to be Ithink that we need to rejuvenate
that with society is that weneed to be able to talk to
people.
You need to be able to saysomething to somebody without
(30:40):
fear of them bouncing it offyour forehead and being you know
, you're an idiot.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
I mean, I think that it's one of those things where
we just need to be able to talkto people to say hi whatever it
is.
I just got to say this becauseit was too funny.
The other day I went with afriend of mine.
We stopped at a local drinkingestablishment and we're out in
the parking lot, we're gettingready to leave.
We had one beer, like we juststopped in, we're going to go to
(31:07):
his house, everything's cool.
And we come out and it's kindof a neighborhood little bar,
you know Right, and these peoplecome out and this lady is.
She's been drinking all day, youcan tell, which is fine, no
judgment.
And she's like it smells likebacon out here and I just turned
around and I'm like I don'tsmell bacon at all and she goes
(31:27):
well, hold on a minute, you knowand makes some sort of emotion
like she's passing gas, right oh, okay and okay.
And I'm like, oh, and herhusband is just shaking his head
, you know, but we're laughingbecause you're talking to people
.
Now she's not going to rememberthat conversation because she's
Probably not.
Whatever, but you know what?
It's still fun.
You can talk to people and notpass judgment on this gal who
(31:50):
was apparently you passed.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Whatever, don't you lie man, you passed judgment.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Don't you lie, man.
You passed judgment.
No, I didn't, actually I didn't.
She passed something else, shepassed something, it wasn't
judgment.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Oh man, hey, don't forget to share and like this.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Yeah, because these glasses are cool.
These glasses are, that's right.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
If you share this episode and this previous
episode, we're going to put youin the drawing for some half
century beer mugs and whiskeyglasses.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
These are not like cheap little plastic things.
Dishwasher safe.
I can't wait to tell mydishwasher.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Midwest Trophy and what Midwest?
Speaker 3 (32:25):
Trophy and.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
Award.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
Dave Putnam, dave Putnam.
There you go.
Hey, thanks for hanging outwith us here at Half Century
Hangout.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Be good everybody.
Peace out Salante.
Call it in Michigan suck eye.
Somebody did Somebody does.
Speaker 3 (00:03):
All right, all right, are we ready?
Speaker 2 (00:05):
We're recording now.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
We are.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
My buddy Robert Kesey calls the suck eyes, not the
buck eyes.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Yeah, where's he?
Speaker 3 (00:12):
from Michigan.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
I can't say I've never said that, before I've
said it, plenty of times.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Yeah, I appreciate you not saying it now.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
No, you know I wouldn't do that great small
talk, but we want to welcomeeverybody back to Half Century
Hangout.
We've been talking aboutfriendships the last two
episodes and maybe we'll wrapthings up here, but how have
your friendships been going?
You know you've beenreconnecting with some old
friends, or building some newones, or whatever.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I like asking the questions.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
I don't like answering those questions.
You know, I do really try togive my older friends a call
once in a while.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
You mean older, like age?
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Well, everybody's older friends to me, or do you
mean like friends from your past, friends from my past Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
You meant older, I thought.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Friends that I haven't talked to for a while.
You know I do try to stay intouch with friends, giving them
a call.
I am not.
We talked about social medialast time.
I'm not a social media guy.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I think you were surprised.
He doesn't even like to text.
Weren't you surprised?
No, he doesn't.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
I text him and I got nothing.
Email text, anything like that.
There's techno geeks.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
You know which, you know.
We have friends that all fallinto those.
Then you have, like techno techpeople who are like don't know
a thing.
And then there's John.
John's got like a category ofhis own over there, don't you,
john?
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Why, thank you?
I appreciate that that's okay.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
There's nothing wrong with that, I do like technology
, but I am not a social mediaguy.
I think you were very surprisedwhen I put out my post on
Facebook.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
The other day I did laugh.
You put out a Facebook post.
I was cracking it.
Yeah, wow.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
You know, my wife and I went to the theater and we
were watching and yeah, it wasit was an all right show but I
wasn't too impressed with it.
But we always take a pictureand she had it and I'm like, hey
, let me post that.
And luke commented back rightaway.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Oh, I saw it oh my gosh john schultz.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
You posted a post on Facebook.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Well, I think the post came through with cobwebs
on it, like it just kind of cameup and went.
It was a little bit slow comingthrough, but you know it was
all right.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Oh my goodness, Just the fact that I'm hanging out
with a dude that says he went tothe theater man.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
That puts me in a different category I know, I do
that.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
I said cachet last episode.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
so what the heck?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
I think it's funny how you said about you know,
with friends and old friends andthings like that, that this
time of the year for me is bigand I can't wait till next time.
But we're coming up, we'regetting closer to St Patrick's
Day Yep, let's go, which for meis like kind of a big thing.
Again, not a, as far as I know.
(03:10):
I don't have a lick Irish in me.
There's not one anywhere butliving in Chicago for as long as
I did it just reinvented thewhole thing for me.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
By the way, can I just mention that we are going
to record our next episode,which is going to air the week
of St Patrick's Day infull-fledged brewery which is
here in Council Bluffs, Iowa,and we're going to be hanging
out with Desi and Marshall infull-fledged brewery.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
And it'll be.
You know, we're here in mygarage again today, which is
nice, but it'll be, nice to getout and do it somewhere else,
absolutely, absolutely.
You know have a few drinksalong the way, which we're still
doing now, so it's good.
But I think that what you'veasked about the old friendships
I mean, you can't be as old aswe are and not have old
friendships, right?
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Sure I mean.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
it's just not.
Those two things aren'tmutually exclusive.
So I think that when we talkabout it, when we talk about it,
we have those friendships thatwe really cultivated or got you
through a certain time of yourlife, or we're at a great point
in your life, or maybe they wereat a low point in your life,
(04:15):
and that's why there's so manydifferent things that could
enter into it.
But I think that the one thingthat I always look at is that I
could call that dude today andit would be like we never missed
a beat.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Whether I've talked to him in a year or two or not,
I still have a group of friendsthat we have a group message
that goes out and maybe it's ona birthday or maybe we see
something or some meme.
Usually it's a meme that we seeas highly inappropriate, but
these guys would reallyappreciate it and I'll send it
out and we all laugh about it.
We're kind of spread out now.
(04:50):
We're all over the country.
A couple guys are retiring.
It's fun to just kind of seewhen your kids are getting older
and they're going on to thingsand you see stuff on Facebook
and their kids are gettingmarried and they're having grand
babies and all this stuff andit's kind of like it's cool the
progression of life as we see it.
(05:11):
But we see it with ourfriendships and how that, as you
get older, seemingly moremature, right, seemingly, uh,
how that friendship changes butit grows with it.
It grows at the same time youknow, and where things might not
be as important as they werebefore.
(05:31):
It's still important and youstill talk about it and you
still have a good time with it.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Yeah, and you, you were talking about perspective,
our, our perspective changes aswe get older, as we, as we grow,
as we mature.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
I still don't know what I'm going to grow up.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
I know me neither.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
But we were talking also the other day about how we
might see someone who reminds usof a person in our past.
I think we talked about maybeexploring that concept and
discussing how it might impactour relationships moving forward
.
So how those ways that ourmemories of our past experiences
(06:17):
color our current interactionswith others get.
Maybe we should talk a littlebit about that.
Have you ever met someone youimmediately felt like you know,
I've got some familiarity withthis person, or on the opposite
side, that's too funny.
Oh my gosh, I just saw somebodyI really don't want to see ever
(06:41):
again.
Yeah, you ever got those kindof vibes from people.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yeah, sometimes they're very positive.
So there's a guy that's aroundCouncil Bluffs that reminds me
of a guy named Duke Raymer who Igrew up with.
Duke was one of my very bestfriends.
He now lives in Topeka, kansas,and just Lawrence Kansas.
Just an amazing dude Hung outlast summer a little bit.
(07:09):
And there's a guy around townthat as soon as I look at him,
I'm thinking of Duke, and thiswas Duke whenever he was like a
little bit younger.
And then John you mentioned,like there's some people around
that man.
You look at him and it's like Ithink I start to experience ptsd
(07:30):
right, yeah because, like theyremind you of people from back
in the day where you're like, ohshoot, yeah, I remember that
guy.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
That wasn't a good relationship yeah and so it kind
of drives you back to the placethat you're used to, because,
uh, you know, we come up withthese topics sometimes right off
the top of the cuff, and Ithink that this topic bore
itself completely out of theidea that I was looking at
somebody.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Yeah, you saw somebody.
Yeah, I saw somebody, and Ijust was like oh my goodness.
We should talk about this.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Yeah, we should.
Great porch talk, we alwayshave the positive ones, but man,
those negative ones.
It comes up and you're like, oh, man.
I need to go back to sleep andwake up, and hopefully this
isn't Groundhog Day.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Yeah, yeah, and I think that sometimes, at least
for myself, and actually the daythat we talked about this, when
I mentioned it to you guys andI was laughing when I did it was
I really have to make sure thatI don't become judgmental with
that person, Right, becauseobviously they have nothing to
(08:36):
do with the person.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
They're a completely different person.
No, it's a different person.
It's not fair to them, right?
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Just because it struck something in me a nerve
somewhere doesn't mean thatthey're anything.
It just means that I need tostill treat them, you know, with
respect and whatever.
But I came over to you guysbecause one had just happened
and I was like oh my gosh.
I can feel my right temple.
It's just burning right now,you know, like something's
happening.
But I think that there's alwayspeople and a lot of times those
(09:06):
people when I meet people likethat there's.
There's people around town herethat I've met over the years
that remind me a lot of times ofsome friends that I've had in
the past, or my cousin Eric, wholives up in Michigan, and, you
know, I'm immediately somehowdrawn to them, somehow one way
or the other you know whetherit's on a very superficial level
or whether it's like a hey youknow, dude, you remind me of
(09:31):
this person you know and we justget to talking about something.
And you know, I think it's kindof a gift sometimes for me that
I could pretty much talk toanybody, but sometimes it's
probably a little bit of a youcan talk of a hindrance, you
know, but like even last summerwhen we went to San Diego, right
, and we were out there.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
He could talk to anybody.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
We were just talking with people and like there's
somebody with a dog or you knowwhatever.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
We're out on the pier .
This guy is homeless.
He's talking to him, you know.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
It's Luke.
My wife says I've never met astranger.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
So I think that's not a bad thing.
No, it really is not a badthing.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
It really is not a bad thing, and I think that when
we talk about, like, thelasting effect of relationships,
right, when we see those peoplethat remind us maybe in one way
or the other, whether it's howthey look or how they act or how
they talk or whatever it is Ithink that that helps.
It probably, you know,introduces more endorphins into
(10:25):
our system because it brings usback to a good place or it
brings us back to good memoriesof times past.
Those kind of things I oftentry, especially more lately.
I don't like to say that I livein the past, but sometimes I
get stuck in that a little bit.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Sure.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
And I don't want to do that, but I know and I
realize, and my wife reminds meof it.
Sometimes it's like you know,dude, you need to come back to
reality here.
Yeah, and I get it, but it'slike there was good times and
there's bad times, right foreverybody.
So sometimes those good timesreally come forward and I think,
for me personally, it puts intoperspective some of the things
that you're going through in thepresent.
(11:05):
It's like, hey, this reallyisn't as bad as I thought it was
.
Or this situation that I'mdealing with, really I'm making
it more than it is, sure, or I'mbeing a little dramatic, you
know Right, me, yeah, dramatic,yep, yep.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
I've been there, been there, done that yes.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
But I think that people, people, we work with
people, that we see, you knowwe're drawn to people.
I mean, we're human beings,right?
So you're drawn to a certainkind of people, just naturally.
Whether you're trying to or not, you're drawn because of a
certain thing, right, it's likethe three of us.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Why are we drawn to each other?
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Yeah, just because probably because, at least in my
, in my recollection of what itis is I feel comfortable around
you guys.
Like you said in the lastepisode, I could talk about
something real touchy if Iwanted to.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
And I have yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Now we haven't really done it on air, Not on air
right.
But we've done that and I'mokay with it, because you're
either going to tell me, luke,you're full of crap, or you're
going to be like, yeah, I hearyou, but maybe think about it
this way, or you're going to belike, yeah, I got nothing for
(12:13):
you, bro, you know, I mean, andthat's okay.
Yeah, because really, if you'rein that place where I know that
I could throw anything in youguys' lap, then that's good for
me.
You know, what I mean, that'sthat's good for you, yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
Well, and, and you, you talked a little about
judging people and not judgingby how they look more, and I
think that a lot of times we dojudge people by how they look.
You know, don't judge a book byits cover.
But I also heard you say youknow, maybe the way they act or
(12:44):
the way they talk or the way.
And I had an experience rightwith somebody that maybe acted
or talked that way and it wasnot a very good, it was pretty
negative, and I learned overtime that I don't want to have
an experience like that again.
So I'm probably not going to befriends with that person.
(13:05):
And we talked about how webecome friends with people and
you just talked about us and howwe've kind of become friends
and it's probably a lot becauseyou know we see maybe some other
friends in the people that wehave friends with.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
I think what we do because we're down the road a
little bit further than we werewhen we were in our 20s and 30s,
but I think there's thesecategories that we tend to stick
people in that this person actslike this, so this person goes
in this category.
This person acts like this, sothis person goes in this
category.
I've observed this behavior, soI want to.
This person goes in thiscategory.
(13:47):
I've observed this behavior, sowe're going to stick with this
person in this category.
And so, whether you're aMichigan fan or a Buckeye fan,
right?
Speaker 1 (13:55):
We know what category to put you in, Chuck.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
We're in a category.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
And they're still friends people, they really are
still friends.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
And I think that's the biggest thing, though, is
that you look at it and you say,like you're saying, you put
them in categories, right, inthese categories, how do you say
it?
It's like, ok, there's stillfriendship categories, right.
I mean, there's really goodfriends, there's friends that
are here, you know, there'sacquaintances, there's just
(14:26):
people, right, and I think thatthe more that I look at it and
the more that that we've goneforward, it's.
It's kind of like for us andyou were just bringing this up a
little bit ago, when we talkedabout stats, which we said we
weren't going to do but you saidsomething about podcasts, and
how many, so many podcasts don'tmake it past like five episodes
, right, right.
So here we are in episode eight, and we still have plenty of
(14:48):
stuff to talk about.
It's not like we're drowning forentertainment here right?
No, no, we're not, we can figureit out, but I think that that
says a lot to how our friendshipas a group has even gotten
stronger just since we startedthis, because I think that it
gives us a deeper understandingof each other, which, if we go
(15:09):
back to last episode, thatonline connection you can't
always get that.
I mean, there's body language,there's all sorts of things in
person that you cannot get thesame depth on an online or a
social media or whatever typeconnection.
It's just not quite the same.
(15:30):
It doesn't mean you can't makethose connections.
I just think on a deeper leveland a more meaningful, longer
lasting level, the in-personthing is that much more.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Yeah, I think there's just a back to that point.
I think there's just a qualityaspect there that you can't
achieve a certain quality offriendship without doing,
without actually meeting face toface.
Let me share a story with youguys.
There's a group of guys I hangout with and there's a story
(16:06):
it's out of the good book I hangout with and there's a story
it's out of the good book, theBible right, and it's a story
about four guys who took theirfriend Luke chapter 7, I think
took their friend to Jesus,hopped up on the roof, jumped on
the roof, dug a hole throughthe roof.
(16:27):
This guy couldn't walk, he'sparalyzed.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
Lowered him down.
Lowered him down, right, youknow the story.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Oh, I do know the story and took him to Jesus.
They went to a huge expense,they put themselves out there.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Big risk.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
They were line jumpers.
They jumped to the front of theline.
Yes, yeah, themselves out therebig risk.
And the line jumpers, they jumpto the front of the line, yes,
yeah and so the the question weasked in that group was who are
your four guys?
Speaker 2 (16:55):
who are the four guys that you would that you?
You know that if you were introuble, like if you really
needed something, that theywould get you the help that you
needed.
Do you guys have four guys?
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Well, I have two of them sitting here.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
Okay, there you go.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
But I thought you were going down the thing of
four guys who were going tolower my ass through a roof.
I'm like, well, it depends onwhat we were doing.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
It'd be a big hole, I mean literally.
It's not very nice.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
Hey, I'd be, a big hole too.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
I mean I think that I could you know if I was in a
spot or I knew something wasgoing on, I could find four guys
.
I mean I've got plenty of nowthey might you know.
I guess it depends on proximityhow close they were.
If I needed to have those fourguys like 10 minutes from now,
it would be a little different.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
Well, it probably depends on their skill level too
, right?
Right, yeah, can they use ahammer and saw or dig through a
roof or whatever it is, and arethey strong enough to lower you
down?
But what you're saying is wouldthey get you where you need to
be?
Speaker 2 (18:08):
whatever it needed to be where you need, it doesn't
have to be like like yeah, bigtime like religious stuff or
whatever right it just has to bedo you have like four friends
that you could count on that inin the?
In the end, like you know thatthey would, they would give you
the help that you needed and Ithink that's, uh, that's an, I
think that's an importantquestion.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
That's a good thing to think about, and it kind of
goes back to what we weretalking about last time or even
before then what develops thatfriendship, what makes it from
transaction to transformation,and who are those people that
(18:52):
can help you get better?
You know, building thoserelationships and making them
transformational instead oftransactional.
And that's your four guys,right.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Those are the people that help you get better yeah,
and be a cliche, cliche, betterversion of yourself right, yeah
that's.
that's where we, that's where wewant to be with friends.
We want them to help us getbetter and help us be better,
and I know we're talking alittle bit of how the past
(19:29):
colors our future or colors ourfriendships now.
And I just wanted to mention abook by David Yeager.
It's 10 to 25.
And what he says is from about10 years old to about 25 years
old we're trying to figure outthe world, yeah, and we're
(19:53):
trying to figure out who we cantrust.
And I think trust is a big thingon those four guys.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Yeah, who do you?
Speaker 3 (20:01):
trust to get you there, and I think we've been
talking about that and dancingaround that subject of trust by
saying I could say anything toyou guys and I trust that it
would be received in a way thatwouldn't make me feel bad.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
No, we process it with you.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
That it would make me better.
It would make me think throughwhat I'm saying.
It would make me think abouthow I could play out that,
whatever it is.
But his book says from 10 to 25, we're trying to figure that
out and it kind of goes alongwith what we're saying.
(20:45):
Your experiences with peoplemm-hmm.
Color the relationships you'regoing to have later and you
talked about.
You know, you saw someone wholooked like someone or was doing
something like someone.
And that's when this topic cameup and we said, yeah, that may
(21:12):
not be a bad topic to talk about.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
I think that it's one of those things and you
mentioned trust a few times withthose four guys, if we're using
that analogy with the four guys.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Right.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
I think that for me personally, I have a little bit
of a thing with that, becausethere was a time in my life
where I had to really doublecheck the idea if I trusted
these people.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
And I think it was very hard for me because I'm
probably a little naive when itcomes to that.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Sometimes, where I I don't, I don't.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
I don't look at it deep enough, as I probably
should.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Sure.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
And I think I've probably you know people would
look at it I've probably gottenburned a few times by that Right
which, you know, those thingsfor guys sometimes are hard to
admit right.
Like I don't want to admit thatI did, but I think that there
was a certain time in my lifewhere I had to look at a group
of people that I called myfriends and be like all right,
(22:13):
what side are they on here?
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Are they with me?
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Are they not really with me?
Not that they're necessarilyagainst me, but are they really
with me?
Are they really there?
And those are hard decisions tomake because, especially if
they're your friends or you'vebeen around them as friends,
right, you need to sometimesmake that hard decision to like
what we talked about lastepisode.
You know I'm not going up tothem and saying, hey, you talked
about last episode.
You know I'm not going up tothem and saying, hey, you're out
(22:38):
of my life.
I'm not saying that, but I'mpretty sure that most of those
people knew that I was done withthem.
You know what I'm saying.
Just by lack of whatever wasgoing on, whether it was talking
to them or messaging orwhatever we create distance and
sometimes too I don't know aboutyou guys, but sometimes there
(22:59):
are life takes us in differentdirections.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
So, whether it's your job, or maybe you move from a
different area, or your kids, oryour kids or your time in life
Right.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
There are sometimes things that life just takes you
in different directions and sothose bonds are built maybe
around kind of circumstancesthat are going on and in the
same breath, that same group andtime, where I was questioning
the trust that I had for some ofthose people, some of those
people stepped up and I'm like,oh for sure.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
You know what I mean.
So it's both sides.
You're with me.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
I don't want to be just like the negative, that's
saying oh, you know, thosepeople were whatever.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Because there was a lot of them that were like I'm
here for you, we got this, yeah,we'll do it together, we'll
figure it out.
So there's both sides of itwhere it's not just saying oh,
we're getting the Nellies out,we're figuring out who the
positives are too.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
You know I'm in the same breath.
You go through those times inyour life where you find out who
your real friends are, and Ithink that's what you're talking
about.
We find out who our realfriends are when we go through
those tough times in life.
Those are not easy.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Yeah, I mentioned Duke Raymer.
He's a dude that I think.
I've known him now for 41 years.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
Goodness gracious, isn't that crazy.
That's a long time.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
That's a long time.
And then there's another guy.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
I've been trying to grow grass in my backyard for
that long and it still doesn'twork.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
There's another guy I've been trying to grow grass
in my backyard for that long andit still doesn't work.
There's another guy, uh, russmorningstar, who I've known for
about, uh, probably close to 40years, and you know, those are
the types of guys that that like, even though proximity we
talked one episode aboutproximity, how proximity has
taken us away from thoserelationships.
As soon as I visit Dayton, oras soon as I go back to.
(25:01):
Lawrence or whatever thoseproximities are it goes away,
it's like we never.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
When.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
I go to Hesperia.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Michigan.
Here's what I'm sure they sayabout both of you.
Do you remember the time thatwe were Luke?
We were doing yeah, oh yeah,and we talk about it right when
we're there.
I remember when, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
And it's just one of those things that I think that
for guys like us, we know thosepeople, we know how those
relationships work, we know who,the people in our life that are
important, and we're going tokeep that, no matter what.
You know you don't ever wantthose to go away, you don't want
to diminish it, you want tokeep it there.
And again, if your proximityisn't there, okay.
(25:45):
I mean, life happens, but inthe same breath it's like you
never moved away or whatever.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
You're still there.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
You send your memes every once in a while or give
them a call and right, yeah, Imean, it's just one of those
things where you know, call themat 10, 30 at night, when you
think it's 8, 30, it's just theway it works.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
It's an accident, that's right.
It doesn't matter, it's okaysure you know.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
But I think that I think that for us and for the
people listening I mean again,we're really happy that you
listen to us and we're reallyhoping that some of the things
that we say instill something inyou one way or the other
Positive negatively, hopefully,not negatively, but if it does,
let us know.
Yeah we want to know I thinkthose things are important for
(26:31):
us, no matter what, because youknow our whole goal with this is
not to sit here and talk.
We could sit here and talk allnight, not record it you know,
but the idea is is to helppeople maybe realize or see or
hear that there's somebody elsemaybe going through the same
(26:52):
thing they are or thinking thesame thing or whatever it is.
You know and don't here's thething I kind of laugh, because I
don't want to be a self-helpbook here, because it's not that
.
It's just the idea that there'sso many people in our world
especially in the last let'sjust call it the last 10 years
right, where things have changedso dramatically with social
(27:15):
media, with COVID, with allthese things that are going on,
you need to understand there'sstill people here to help you.
There's still people here thatcare about you.
There's still people here thatyou can make connections with
and that are just like you.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Yeah, and I think that's the key.
Luke, you mentioned that we'rehere.
I think the common experienceis kind of what we're looking at
here.
There are people who willprobably stumble upon this
podcast and say that I get that.
I get that, I get where theseguys are coming from.
(27:50):
And I think there may be evensome of our friends, whether
you're in Hesperia or in Daytonor down in Florida or out in San
Francisco, that are like, okay,there's a freedom, because now,
what I used to feel maybe shameor guilt for at least Chuck and
(28:11):
Luke and John have kind ofexperienced some of these things
same things, and so I thinkthat common experience is
helpful as we navigate thesewaters of relationships.
A hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (28:24):
Yeah, well, you know, sounds like we're kind of
coming to the end of this showand, luke, you always have a
great quote to share with us.
Did you find something to helpus out, well?
Speaker 1 (28:40):
I think that I mentioned at the beginning and I
just want to.
I like to segue, if I can.
I always try to.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Oh, yes, tradition.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Either do, whatever.
It is that I'm summarizing.
But moving on to the next, andagain, we're coming up close.
We're getting closer to StPatrick's Day, right, mm-hmm.
And again we're coming up close.
We're getting closer to StPatrick's Day, right, and so one
of them that I've heard beforeand I've gone back, but James
Dean actually said this which isactually pretty cool.
A lot of people think he waspretty cool.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
Oh yeah, he's a cool cat, he was.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
You've got to try your luck at least once a day,
because you could be goingaround lucky all day and not
even know it.
You know, and coming up to StPatrick's, Day and people talk
about the luck of the Irish.
You know all these things and Ithink that it's important I
mean you can read into that alittle more where it's not just
about the luck.
I mean he's talking about abigger situation you know, that
(29:37):
you can't just roll your daywithout rolling the dice once or
twice, right, right, if I wantto say something to Chuck, I'm
going to go say it to himbecause his office is right next
to mine, right, but if Johnanswers his radio, which doesn't
happen all the time, but if Icall, him.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
I usually don't have it, yeah, or the volume's not up
or something.
Or it's on the wrong station,or it's on the wrong station.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
I know that I can, but I know that I'm going to.
You know what I mean?
Right, and there's been momentswhere all three of us, one way
or the other back and forth,have gone to one of us to say
something that's just undertheir skin at that moment, or
it's a celebration of some kindthat we don't know about, but
we're always willing to be ableto step out and say something,
(30:20):
and I think it's important forpeople to do that, because I
think too many times and maybethis is part of the idea with
the social media, where peoplekind of aren't as comfortable
doing that as they used to be Ithink that we need to rejuvenate
that with society is that weneed to be able to talk to
people.
You need to be able to saysomething to somebody without
(30:40):
fear of them bouncing it offyour forehead and being you know
, you're an idiot.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
I mean, I think that it's one of those things where
we just need to be able to talkto people to say hi whatever it
is.
I just got to say this becauseit was too funny.
The other day I went with afriend of mine.
We stopped at a local drinkingestablishment and we're out in
the parking lot, we're gettingready to leave.
We had one beer, like we juststopped in, we're going to go to
(31:07):
his house, everything's cool.
And we come out and it's kindof a neighborhood little bar,
you know Right, and these peoplecome out and this lady is.
She's been drinking all day, youcan tell, which is fine, no
judgment.
And she's like it smells likebacon out here and I just turned
around and I'm like I don'tsmell bacon at all and she goes
(31:27):
well, hold on a minute, you knowand makes some sort of emotion
like she's passing gas, right oh, okay and okay.
And I'm like, oh, and herhusband is just shaking his head
, you know, but we're laughingbecause you're talking to people
.
Now she's not going to rememberthat conversation because she's
Probably not.
Whatever, but you know what?
It's still fun.
You can talk to people and notpass judgment on this gal who
(31:50):
was apparently you passed.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Whatever, don't you lie man, you passed judgment.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Don't you lie, man.
You passed judgment.
No, I didn't, actually I didn't.
She passed something else, shepassed something, it wasn't
judgment.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Oh man, hey, don't forget to share and like this.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Yeah, because these glasses are cool.
These glasses are, that's right.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
If you share this episode and this previous
episode, we're going to put youin the drawing for some half
century beer mugs and whiskeyglasses.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
These are not like cheap little plastic things.
Dishwasher safe.
I can't wait to tell mydishwasher.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Midwest Trophy and what Midwest?
Speaker 3 (32:25):
Trophy and.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
Award.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
Dave Putnam, dave Putnam.
There you go.
Hey, thanks for hanging outwith us here at Half Century
Hangout.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Be good everybody.
Peace out Salante.
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