March 25, 2025 • 29 mins
Traditions serve as the invisible threads that weave together the fabric of our lives, connecting generations and shaping our identities in profound ways. In this reflective episode of Half Century Hangout, hosts Luke, Chuck, and John explore the multifaceted nature of traditions and their impact on relationships, community building, and personal resilience.
Ultimately, the conversation reveals that meaningful traditions aren't just about repeating activities – they're about fostering authentic connections between people. Whether within families, communities, or society at large, traditions create the relational infrastructure that helps us navigate life's challenges together rather than alone.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to Half Century Hangout here with Luke
and Chuck.
What do we got going on?
Speaker 3 (00:05):
I know we were talking about traditions and
we've been going through thatand we still have some, but this
was the first time, guys, thatwe actually had to break a
conversation up into two parts,so I'm looking forward to, you
know, getting the second partout there to our listeners.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
So we'll continue our discussion about traditions
here, and here's the rest of ourdiscussion.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
You know, like what's our tradition in the morning,
Chuck, you and I are usually twoof the first people in the
building, right?
You know, I walk by your doorcause I have to walk by your
door in the way, and sometimesyou laugh cause I don't have
products in my hair yet.
Hey yo, hey, good morning.
Good morning, Luke.
You know how's it going.
So we have our morning kind oftradition, if you want to say.
(00:49):
But I think that it's moreabout the people that you're
with, what those things are thatyou do as a group or even just.
You know it might only be oneother person, and the thing that
was interesting that you saidand I didn't really think about
it until you said it but whenyou become empty nesters, okay,
(01:11):
yeah, Now it's just me and mywife right, so we're there and
Becky's there and we have a goodtime.
It's great.
But there's moments where yousit back and you're like well,
what are we going to do now?
Where you sit back and you'relike, well, what are we going to
do now?
You know what I mean, becausethe kids aren't there and you're
always in your mind.
You've always been based on theidea of something's with the
kids or whatever.
So now I have two dogs.
(01:32):
You know.
It's like okay, we got that,but now we are building
traditions together.
That's she and I, which I thinkis important, and I think it's
good because again, again, thepeople are going to see that
your kids are going to see that,like hey this is how it works,
right?
Speaker 1 (01:49):
yeah, luke, I see that.
I see you building traditionswith becky.
Well, it is, and I think it'sawesome, but it's, but it's cool
that like we see that in all ofour lives.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
I mean, I see you know and Jen and with, with,
with you and your wife.
I mean, it's just one of thosethings where that's Lynn, you
know, yeah, you, you, you gothrough it and you see it and
you know it, and it's there.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Yeah, it's um.
So just a word to those who arelistening to this show that's
got kids, whether they'retoddlers, elementary teenagers,
whatever 25.
What I was reminded of as youwere talking and as you know,
we're just sitting herediscussing this is eventually
(02:34):
the kids leave, and so please donot build your marriage around
the kids.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
The husband and the wife have to be happy.
They have to be investing eachother, even as the kids grow up,
because eventually the kidsleave and you're stuck there
looking at one another not stuck, but you get the benefit of,
you know, being with each other.
Post.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
And I'm not going to lie, it is a great, is a great
benefit.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
and you know, I think what you're saying is we are
trying to help each other andI'll say a cliche be the best
version of ourselves I think,one of the things that I would
say to that because I think thatI struggled with it a little
bit I'm not gonna lie and say Ididn't because, because it was
(03:24):
kind of when kids were out ofthe place and then I had one
come back I think it's one ofthose things where, as, like
Chuck you said, no matter whereyou're at in your life right now
you're married, you've got kidsat home, don't wait until the
kids are gone to build thosetraditions with your spouse.
(03:44):
Because if you wait until thekids are gone to build those
traditions with your spouse,yeah, because if you wait until
they're gone, then there's kindof like this learning curve like
you would have to jump through,and it's like don't wait that
long, you can do things andbuild some things with your
spouse before then.
And I think and I didn'tnecessarily do that, I wish I
would have more.
You know what I mean, yeah, andI think that it's it's one of
(04:06):
those deals where we can lookback on it now and say, hey, you
know, for for people that arethere, this is an important
thing and, like you said, don'tjust build it around the kids,
right?
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Let me ask this question as we think about
traditions.
We've talked a lot about familytraditions and how they kind of
form us as we're shaped, youknow, and shape us as we're
growing.
What about?
You mentioned, john, howimportant your community was in
Stanton, iowa what communitytraditions, or maybe societal
traditions, do we have that formus and shape us, and how valid
(04:42):
are they Like?
Do they make sense?
Cause there are people I'vetalked with where, like, even
the tradition of marriage issomething that's like, not like
they.
They buck against that.
But that's, we know, that's gotvalue, right?
I?
Speaker 1 (04:58):
got a little bit of an example on that.
So I was at a church serviceand normally I am a half century
hangout guy and normally I takemy hat off in this instant.
Um, I was joking with theseguys.
I have a comb and it doesn'treally comb my hair because I
(05:22):
don't have a whole lot of hairon top of my head, but anyway, I
had my hat on and it waskeeping my head warm and I went
into and normally I'll take thehat off because that's just a
cultural norm or a tradition.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Going into a place and you take your hat off.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Yeah, that I deal with.
Well, I didn't at this time andsomeone came up to me and said
hey, you know you're in abuilding and you ought to take
your hat off.
And I was like, oh okay, so Itook my hat off.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Did you just forget or did you leave it on on
purpose?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
I kind of left it on on purpose because it was
keeping my head warm.
Yeah, he's using it to keep hishead warm.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
my head, yeah, but you know, yeah, I, I really did
forget things at our age.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
You know, I didn't care one way or the other, it
really didn't matter to me.
And I've kind of gotten to apoint and and we work in a
school, there are kids that wearhats and it used to bother the
heck out of me when kids woretheir hats, used to really bug
me and I, I don't know, I guessI've kind of gotten to the point
(06:28):
where well on that.
Yes on that one hat and insideit really doesn't bother me a
whole lot, but some people and Ithink that goes back to you
with traditions a little bitSome people have some very, very
strict rules that they follow,and the guy that came and talked
(06:51):
to me happened to be from themilitary and happened to be
really a rule follower, and so Italk about maybe scruples and
maybe they were having too manyscruples.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
What do you mean by scruples?
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Scruples.
So scruples are.
This is the way I define them.
They're rules that people havethat kind of define who they are
and what they do.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Oh, okay, I got you.
A lot of people will call thatyour scruples.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
And so some people can be over scrupulous and
really take that to the nthdegree and make themselves like
I'm a bad person because I'm notdoing this, or you're a bad
person because, and so I thinkwe need to get away from that
(07:51):
that judgment?
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Yeah, I will say you just, you just described to me
what I would call likeself-righteous.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Yeah, yeah, I mean exactly.
That's exactly what scruples isreally.
It's self-righteous.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
I think that when I was mentioning before about,
like, where we live now and Idon't I've been here a while now
, but still it's like lookingfor that connection.
One of the biggest traditionsright now that I absolutely love
, we have a homecoming parade.
Oh, I love the homecomingparade, which not a whole lot of
(08:25):
schools do.
This, I mean there's small townsthat do it.
I have the dubious honor of thebeginning of that day,
traveling to the elementaryschools of our district and the
middle school of our district onour end of town.
Right, and I'm just quoting,I'm air quoting here preaching
the gospel, right, telling thekids about this is what we're
doing and come watch us andeverything's cool, right, and we
(08:47):
start this thing and we go andso going through that parade,
but to see those kids like onthe side of the streets as we're
going right with their littlethings out and yelling, hey, I
know that guy, you know, butit's, it's, it's building the
community, yeah, it's buildingthe culture.
That, yeah, it's building theculture.
That to me, like right now, isprobably one of the better
(09:09):
traditions that I've learned asan old guy that I absolutely
love.
Like at first I wasn't reallysure how I was going to feel
about it, like you know, I don'tknow, like I didn't have that
in high school.
But at first I'm like, oh, butit's really cool.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Like I really like it .
Speaker 2 (09:24):
It is cool but at first I'm like, oh, but it's
really cool, Like I really likeit and I you know, like as long
as I'm there, we're going to doit and keep getting it bigger.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
You know when, when you talk about schools and you
talk about a high school and youtalked a little bit about this
when you put your son on top ofthe concession stand.
Those are the things that Iremember from my years growing
up.
Small towns, that Friday nightlights, those were the times
(09:53):
when you spent a lot of timewith your community.
We had the thing I remember atradition and food and all that
is important a tradition andfood and all that is important.
But the thing I remember ishaving a baked potato Friday
(10:16):
night lights and we played atthe baseball field.
Our football field flagged offin the end zone because it
wasn't quite 120 yards, it wasmaybe 115.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Can I pull this back?
I would like to keep asking thequestion from our perspective
of some guys that's in their 50s, what are some valuable
societal traditions that connectus with future generations and
(11:00):
past generations?
Speaker 2 (11:01):
You mean like, like, just like little life lessons.
You mean Not necessarily.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
I'm saying there's something that our grandparents
that.
There's something that ourgrandparents did that we want
our grandkids to do.
There's something that pastgenerations have participated in
and have found value in, thatwe want the next two generations
(11:29):
or three generations to alsoconnect with and value as well.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
I mean just off the top of my head.
And the reason that I'm sayingthis one is only because
sometimes, when it happens withmy kids, it drives me nuts.
So that's what I'm kind ofthinking of.
And I realize this is a verysmall thing.
It might be kind of silly, butI think it's important.
I think it's a bigger picture,but I think it's important to to
(11:58):
clean up after yourself.
Okay, like literally, like theinside of your car should not be
a garbage, can?
All right?
Okay, yeah, I shouldn't.
If I go, and John's going togive me a ride in his car, we're
going to go somewhere andJohn's car is great.
We got in.
I sit in.
You know other people you go,sit in there.
Oh, let me get this shit out ofthe way, you know, and there's
(12:24):
stuff and I've got my feet on.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
You know high v cups and it's like you know order
central.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Yeah, like I think it's important yeah, because
okay, kind of like did your momever tell you something about
clean socks?
because you never know if you goto the hospital clean underwear
you go to the hospital youdon't want to look, you know,
whatever.
I think it's.
I think it's just like thisover thing that, seeing kids now
a lot that we do in school alot of them don't have that
(12:48):
thought about themselves andtheir surroundings.
We see them at their tables atlunch.
I think it's a big thing and Ilearned that from my grandpa and
my mom and dad and going downand I think that it's something
that's kind of being lost alittle bit in the shuffle.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
I think to go along with that.
When you leave a place, I havealways been taught you leave it
better than what you found it.
So if you borrow someone'struck to take something you know
, maybe you got something tohaul and you borrow someone's
(13:24):
truck, you don't bring it backwith an empty tank of gas.
You bring it back with a fulltank of gas.
You might even clean it out alittle bit because you want to
leave things better.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
So here's what.
Here's what I'm hearing youguys say.
I think is, while you use theexample of cleaning a car out,
or cleanliness, or you know youmentioned john um, just making
sure that you're cleaning upafter yourself, or this- is
where chuck tells us that he wasthinking a lot deeper I was man
, I, I, but I think I canconnect what you guys were
(14:01):
talking about to a deeper,better value, because you're
thinking of like self-pride,right one bit, yeah, I mean how
else almost like I I don't evenknow if I would just say
self-pride.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
I think it's just kind of like I don't know I.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
I think it is.
I think it's taking care ofothers To me, to me, I think the
thing that we want to pass on,that we want kids to know, is
community and family areimportant.
How you treat people and wetalked about that we talked
(14:41):
about people.
How you treat people, and wetalked about that.
We talked about people.
How you treat people isimportant, and if you are not
treating people in the best waythat you can to help them be
better, I think that's what wewant to pass on.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
And what I would say.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Communication.
So please and thank you areimportant.
Cleaning up after yourself, orreturning things better than
what you got them in the statethat you got them in, is
important, and being a part ofthe community is important.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
And so, as you guys are talking about this, those
are the types of things thatmake you think outside of
yourself because you'reconsidering others.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
It's not so much relationships.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I learned it in school, Like growing up in the
church.
It was joy, right.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Jesus, others and yourself.
Yeah, that's the order.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Joy.
It's kind of the same thing Ilike joy.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
It's like you can't think of yourself first, I guess
.
I mean, I know I used theexample of cleanliness, but I
think that's part of it, becauseI think that's kind of the I
don't want to say selfish, but Ican't think of another word at
the moment.
It is because it's veryself-centered, it's just about
me.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
I'm going to live in a pit.
I don't care if this is dirty.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
I don't care if people think I look like
whatever.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Instead of picking up a bottle of water, I'm going to
kick it down the hallway, andmaybe I should pick it up and
make my place cleaner, if I wasgoing to look at, like you said,
a deeper mindset.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
It's like what is my focus as a person?
A deeper mindset, it's likewhat is my focus as a person?
Okay, is my focus just on me?
It's kind of like I don'tremember if we talked about this
in a thing.
But I have a big personal issuewith the word deserve, because
I, yeah.
When people say that I'm like,what do you mean you deserve?
(16:40):
I don't don't.
To me it seems like one ofthose words that's just thinking
about me that, like it's justme that may be part of entitled
but that's what I mean.
It's just like some people and Iand I and I hear what people
are saying when they say it likeI don't know that people
automatically think that but Ican't use that word like that,
(17:00):
like you deserve better thanthat, uh, no, okay, I mean, I
guess, but I don't, I just don'tthink of it that way.
So I think, like what John wassaying, and I know I well, I
don't know for sure where you'regoing, but I think that on the
deeper level it's about, I don'tthink that people should put
themselves first, maybe a closesecond, maybe third.
(17:25):
But if you're constantly alwaysin, let me back up one second.
There might be people in theirlife that right now they just
need to worry about themselvesand get themselves right.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
I get that, I get that Right, I get that In
general.
That focus where it's justabout me, I think is a very
difficult thing to w down to us,maybe not necessarily in our
family, but from previousgenerations, or even beyond that
, into the Civil andRevolutionary War.
Some of those things, some ofthose values that made us who we
are in 2025.
Like, what are some things thatsome traditions that have
(18:36):
formed us that we want to seemove on into 2020?
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Well, if you're talking, you know about that.
I mean, you think of, like yousaid, said okay, the people that
have been through the worldwars, which we.
It's very difficult for us,even at our age, to really
completely understand what somany of those people went
through.
Okay, so picture the idea ofand I'm again just putting it in
(18:59):
out there, you're a, you're amarried couple or whatever, and
your husband is shipped off thewar.
There's no cell phones, there'sno anything, there's no instant
communication.
The news is three days old bythe time.
You see it on a radio, you hearit on a radio.
(19:20):
You hear it on a radio, right,I mean, and you are at home and
you're doing things to helpration metal, and the automakers
aren't making cars anymorebecause they're putting all this
production into the war, andpeople are lined up for soup and
bread and all these things thatyou're rationing.
I mean, these are things thatwe can't identify with because
(19:42):
we've never really had to livethrough that.
We've heard stories and we canread things to understand it.
But I think that resiliency ofpeople to be able to go through
things that we look at todaylike, okay, at our age we might
be able to handle a little bit,but we've all seen people now of
a younger generation that wouldlook at something like that and
(20:05):
they would completely melt tothe floor.
There's too much weight there.
It's too much weight for them.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
What about the resiliency that some built over
COVID?
So you talk about resiliency.
They may not have experiencedresiliency in the ways that our
grandparents have, but I thinkmaybe between you think of 9-11,
you think of COVID, and I'msure if we put more thought into
it, there's resiliency that wasbuilt that they would say, hey,
(20:35):
yeah, we were resilient.
We may not have been like them,but we were resilient.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
We may not have been like them, but we were resilient
.
So what I will say is that Ithink when we talk about
resiliency and we talk aboutkind of a broad definition of it
is being able to handle thingsSure.
However, that presents itselfIf it's an emergency situation
or it's something that justhappens to me in the middle of
(21:02):
the day.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
Bouncing back right.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Yeah, it could be anything right, yeah, yeah, I
would say that there's plenty ofthose traditions that we talked
about, that that's where theycame from was in a moment of
being resilient, like let's justuse the example that I gave
before of eating lasagna onChristmas Eve.
A lot of people eat prime ribor they eat these things
(21:28):
whatever it is.
There was my family, I'm sure,at some point, and there's other
families that did this, butlasagna is not like a
gigantically expensive thing tomake, right, right.
So at some point, somebodyprobably made a meal that was
going to be good, that was goingto feed the entire family for
less money, and they were beingresilient, but they were still
(21:51):
celebrating.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Yeah, they were celebrating the fact that they
were together.
They made it through the yearExactly.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
There's something to celebrate at the end of the year
, so I would venture to say thatthere's a ton of traditions
that come from that, somehow,that somebody had a situation
and they said, hey, let's dothis, or let's whatever it is in
spite of or in answer to this.
And they said, hey, let's dothis or let's whatever it is.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
Yeah, in spite of or in answer to this.
Yeah, because of, even, as youthink, of St Patrick.
I think that was probably aresiliency thing, right?
Yeah, and they're celebratingsomething that they overcame,
yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
And I think that even for us it's kind of like, okay,
like you talked about and we'vetalked about these traditions
that we've built as we've gottenolder, like with our kids or
like your kids are yearning forthings, right, some of these
things you, you know, it's likeit's not like I got a bunch of
money laying around right,sometimes you're going to make
something or an event orsomething that doesn't
(22:49):
necessarily cost a ton of money,but it's going to involve
people.
It's going to include people,it's going to make people happy,
it's going to have peopleenjoying themselves somehow, and
it doesn't have to be somethingthat necessarily breaks the
bank.
And maybe it is a traditionthat people then start to go.
It's like kind of like the Imean it's a silly tradition.
(23:12):
It's not silly, but anytimethat I can go to Lincoln which
is an hour from here, right, theclosest large collegiate thing
that we have for football, andit's big 10 university, nebraska
I will go and set up a tailgate.
And I started doing it, you know, 10 years ago and would go and
do it and kind of do it allmyself.
(23:34):
But now it's like the peoplethat come they'll bring it's
like a potluck, right, so now Igo all the way back to Lutheran
days where everybody brought adish right, somebody brings
something and you all just gettogether.
We might not even have ticketsto the game, but we have this
parking lot that we always go toand I know people in that
parking lot now, so there's kindof tradition there and next
year michigan's coming tolincoln, so we're gonna go and
(23:56):
obviously you guys we've talked,you guys are both invited.
It'll be fun, it'll be a goodtime, whether your team's
playing or not, it's a greatthing to get together.
But I think, resiliency wise, Istill think there's so many of
those traditions that we havethat that's probably especially
historically.
That's where they came from.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
And even like you mentionedCOVID you talk about that
(24:20):
there's plenty of things thathave probably happened
traditionally just since then,which was what did we say Five
years?
Speaker 3 (24:26):
six years ago.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Yeah, 1920 was when it was right 2020.
No, I mean that's.
I didn't mean 1920.
I meant 2019 or 2020.
2020.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
Yeah 2020.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
So even from there, there's been traditions that
have been built right.
Sure, yeah, I mean there'sthings I don't necessarily agree
with them all, but there'sstill them that people did
something to deal with something, right yeah, it's interesting,
as I think of the traditionsthat have come out of that time.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
I don't know if that's necessarily a thing or
not, I don't know, but one thingI think maybe that came out of
that is just gathering, becausethere were, that was a time when
, like we, you know, Didn'tgather, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
So traditions can ground us in our present and
they can create wings for us tofly into our future.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Oh, my gosh Waxing eloquence.
I think the Barbra Streisandover here wings for us to fly
into our future.
Oh, my gosh Waxing eloquence.
I think the Barbra Streisandover here.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
I think it's important that we have those
traditions.
Oh it's important, and you'retalking about those things.
You talked about whattraditions are important,
building relationships.
We've talked about friendships.
We've talked about community.
We've talked about community.
We've talked about familytraditions that build those
(25:59):
communities and families,because we are built as human
beings to be in relationship.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
And I would go take that further, john is to say
that those relationships andthose connections help build our
resiliency as well.
In what way?
Because I'm not on an island,so if something happens to me,
guess what.
I've got a system of peoplecommunity whatever you want to
call it around me to help me,and I'm going to help them too.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Luke, I remember you saying that you know to be a
friend.
I want to help a person.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
I want to help them a hundred percent and and
whatever they need.
They can call me and and I'llbe there.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
So are we are we wrapping up?
Speaker 1 (26:47):
I think we are.
Do you have a quote for us?
Are we wrapping up?
I think we are.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Do you have a quote?
Speaker 1 (26:51):
for us.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
It's not really a quote, but it's kind of
something to just tie it in withthe season and where we're at.
I know we talked a lot about StPatrick's Day and I know you've
heard that I love it, but someof you may have heard this I'm
sure you two have on some levelbut the old Irish blessing, so
it's not really a quote.
I like that, but the old Irishblessing, so it's not really a
quote.
I like the Irish.
But you know, may the road riseto meet you, right, okay, may
(27:14):
the sun be always at your back.
The sun shine warm upon yourface, the rain fall soft upon
your field.
Yes, no, snakes, snakes aregone Out of here, thank God.
But I think that that's theseason, and again it's spring
and it's Easter and it's Lentand there's a lot of things
happening, you know, and youlook at new life and you look at
(27:34):
things Right.
Everything right now is stillbrown, right, even though it's
78 degrees today or whatever itis, which is great.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Resurrection.
Green is peeking through it'sresurrection.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
You're right.
So everybody you know, be safethis weekend.
If you're, you know well, bythe time you hear this it'll be
the week past.
So I hope you had a great StPatrick's Day.
I know I'm going to.
I'm going to have some cornedbeef, some cabbage, I've got it
all ready to go.
Good deal.
Got it all ready to go, butanyway.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
All right guys.
Thanks for hanging out with ushere at Half Century Hangout.
For hanging out with us here atHalf Century Hangout.
We appreciate the listenersthat we have and everybody have
a great St Patrick's Day.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
We'll see you guys.
Peace out, sláinte.
Welcome back to Half Century Hangout here with Luke
and Chuck.
What do we got going on?
Speaker 3 (00:05):
I know we were talking about traditions and
we've been going through thatand we still have some, but this
was the first time, guys, thatwe actually had to break a
conversation up into two parts,so I'm looking forward to, you
know, getting the second partout there to our listeners.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
So we'll continue our discussion about traditions
here, and here's the rest of ourdiscussion.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
You know, like what's our tradition in the morning,
Chuck, you and I are usually twoof the first people in the
building, right?
You know, I walk by your doorcause I have to walk by your
door in the way, and sometimesyou laugh cause I don't have
products in my hair yet.
Hey yo, hey, good morning.
Good morning, Luke.
You know how's it going.
So we have our morning kind oftradition, if you want to say.
(00:49):
But I think that it's moreabout the people that you're
with, what those things are thatyou do as a group or even just.
You know it might only be oneother person, and the thing that
was interesting that you saidand I didn't really think about
it until you said it but whenyou become empty nesters, okay,
(01:11):
yeah, Now it's just me and mywife right, so we're there and
Becky's there and we have a goodtime.
It's great.
But there's moments where yousit back and you're like well,
what are we going to do now?
Where you sit back and you'relike, well, what are we going to
do now?
You know what I mean, becausethe kids aren't there and you're
always in your mind.
You've always been based on theidea of something's with the
kids or whatever.
So now I have two dogs.
(01:32):
You know.
It's like okay, we got that,but now we are building
traditions together.
That's she and I, which I thinkis important, and I think it's
good because again, again, thepeople are going to see that
your kids are going to see that,like hey this is how it works,
right?
Speaker 1 (01:49):
yeah, luke, I see that.
I see you building traditionswith becky.
Well, it is, and I think it'sawesome, but it's, but it's cool
that like we see that in all ofour lives.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
I mean, I see you know and Jen and with, with,
with you and your wife.
I mean, it's just one of thosethings where that's Lynn, you
know, yeah, you, you, you gothrough it and you see it and
you know it, and it's there.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Yeah, it's um.
So just a word to those who arelistening to this show that's
got kids, whether they'retoddlers, elementary teenagers,
whatever 25.
What I was reminded of as youwere talking and as you know,
we're just sitting herediscussing this is eventually
(02:34):
the kids leave, and so please donot build your marriage around
the kids.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
The husband and the wife have to be happy.
They have to be investing eachother, even as the kids grow up,
because eventually the kidsleave and you're stuck there
looking at one another not stuck, but you get the benefit of,
you know, being with each other.
Post.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
And I'm not going to lie, it is a great, is a great
benefit.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
and you know, I think what you're saying is we are
trying to help each other andI'll say a cliche be the best
version of ourselves I think,one of the things that I would
say to that because I think thatI struggled with it a little
bit I'm not gonna lie and say Ididn't because, because it was
(03:24):
kind of when kids were out ofthe place and then I had one
come back I think it's one ofthose things where, as, like
Chuck you said, no matter whereyou're at in your life right now
you're married, you've got kidsat home, don't wait until the
kids are gone to build thosetraditions with your spouse.
(03:44):
Because if you wait until thekids are gone to build those
traditions with your spouse,yeah, because if you wait until
they're gone, then there's kindof like this learning curve like
you would have to jump through,and it's like don't wait that
long, you can do things andbuild some things with your
spouse before then.
And I think and I didn'tnecessarily do that, I wish I
would have more.
You know what I mean, yeah, andI think that it's it's one of
(04:06):
those deals where we can lookback on it now and say, hey, you
know, for for people that arethere, this is an important
thing and, like you said, don'tjust build it around the kids,
right?
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Let me ask this question as we think about
traditions.
We've talked a lot about familytraditions and how they kind of
form us as we're shaped, youknow, and shape us as we're
growing.
What about?
You mentioned, john, howimportant your community was in
Stanton, iowa what communitytraditions, or maybe societal
traditions, do we have that formus and shape us, and how valid
(04:42):
are they Like?
Do they make sense?
Cause there are people I'vetalked with where, like, even
the tradition of marriage issomething that's like, not like
they.
They buck against that.
But that's, we know, that's gotvalue, right?
I?
Speaker 1 (04:58):
got a little bit of an example on that.
So I was at a church serviceand normally I am a half century
hangout guy and normally I takemy hat off in this instant.
Um, I was joking with theseguys.
I have a comb and it doesn'treally comb my hair because I
(05:22):
don't have a whole lot of hairon top of my head, but anyway, I
had my hat on and it waskeeping my head warm and I went
into and normally I'll take thehat off because that's just a
cultural norm or a tradition.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Going into a place and you take your hat off.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Yeah, that I deal with.
Well, I didn't at this time andsomeone came up to me and said
hey, you know you're in abuilding and you ought to take
your hat off.
And I was like, oh okay, so Itook my hat off.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Did you just forget or did you leave it on on
purpose?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
I kind of left it on on purpose because it was
keeping my head warm.
Yeah, he's using it to keep hishead warm.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
my head, yeah, but you know, yeah, I, I really did
forget things at our age.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
You know, I didn't care one way or the other, it
really didn't matter to me.
And I've kind of gotten to apoint and and we work in a
school, there are kids that wearhats and it used to bother the
heck out of me when kids woretheir hats, used to really bug
me and I, I don't know, I guessI've kind of gotten to the point
(06:28):
where well on that.
Yes on that one hat and insideit really doesn't bother me a
whole lot, but some people and Ithink that goes back to you
with traditions a little bitSome people have some very, very
strict rules that they follow,and the guy that came and talked
(06:51):
to me happened to be from themilitary and happened to be
really a rule follower, and so Italk about maybe scruples and
maybe they were having too manyscruples.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
What do you mean by scruples?
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Scruples.
So scruples are.
This is the way I define them.
They're rules that people havethat kind of define who they are
and what they do.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Oh, okay, I got you.
A lot of people will call thatyour scruples.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
And so some people can be over scrupulous and
really take that to the nthdegree and make themselves like
I'm a bad person because I'm notdoing this, or you're a bad
person because, and so I thinkwe need to get away from that
(07:51):
that judgment?
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Yeah, I will say you just, you just described to me
what I would call likeself-righteous.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Yeah, yeah, I mean exactly.
That's exactly what scruples isreally.
It's self-righteous.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
I think that when I was mentioning before about,
like, where we live now and Idon't I've been here a while now
, but still it's like lookingfor that connection.
One of the biggest traditionsright now that I absolutely love
, we have a homecoming parade.
Oh, I love the homecomingparade, which not a whole lot of
(08:25):
schools do.
This, I mean there's small townsthat do it.
I have the dubious honor of thebeginning of that day,
traveling to the elementaryschools of our district and the
middle school of our district onour end of town.
Right, and I'm just quoting,I'm air quoting here preaching
the gospel, right, telling thekids about this is what we're
doing and come watch us andeverything's cool, right, and we
(08:47):
start this thing and we go andso going through that parade,
but to see those kids like onthe side of the streets as we're
going right with their littlethings out and yelling, hey, I
know that guy, you know, butit's, it's, it's building the
community, yeah, it's buildingthe culture.
That, yeah, it's building theculture.
That to me, like right now, isprobably one of the better
(09:09):
traditions that I've learned asan old guy that I absolutely
love.
Like at first I wasn't reallysure how I was going to feel
about it, like you know, I don'tknow, like I didn't have that
in high school.
But at first I'm like, oh, butit's really cool.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Like I really like it .
Speaker 2 (09:24):
It is cool but at first I'm like, oh, but it's
really cool, Like I really likeit and I you know, like as long
as I'm there, we're going to doit and keep getting it bigger.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
You know when, when you talk about schools and you
talk about a high school and youtalked a little bit about this
when you put your son on top ofthe concession stand.
Those are the things that Iremember from my years growing
up.
Small towns, that Friday nightlights, those were the times
(09:53):
when you spent a lot of timewith your community.
We had the thing I remember atradition and food and all that
is important a tradition andfood and all that is important.
But the thing I remember ishaving a baked potato Friday
(10:16):
night lights and we played atthe baseball field.
Our football field flagged offin the end zone because it
wasn't quite 120 yards, it wasmaybe 115.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Can I pull this back?
I would like to keep asking thequestion from our perspective
of some guys that's in their 50s, what are some valuable
societal traditions that connectus with future generations and
(11:00):
past generations?
Speaker 2 (11:01):
You mean like, like, just like little life lessons.
You mean Not necessarily.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
I'm saying there's something that our grandparents
that.
There's something that ourgrandparents did that we want
our grandkids to do.
There's something that pastgenerations have participated in
and have found value in, thatwe want the next two generations
(11:29):
or three generations to alsoconnect with and value as well.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
I mean just off the top of my head.
And the reason that I'm sayingthis one is only because
sometimes, when it happens withmy kids, it drives me nuts.
So that's what I'm kind ofthinking of.
And I realize this is a verysmall thing.
It might be kind of silly, butI think it's important.
I think it's a bigger picture,but I think it's important to to
(11:58):
clean up after yourself.
Okay, like literally, like theinside of your car should not be
a garbage, can?
All right?
Okay, yeah, I shouldn't.
If I go, and John's going togive me a ride in his car, we're
going to go somewhere andJohn's car is great.
We got in.
I sit in.
You know other people you go,sit in there.
Oh, let me get this shit out ofthe way, you know, and there's
(12:24):
stuff and I've got my feet on.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
You know high v cups and it's like you know order
central.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Yeah, like I think it's important yeah, because
okay, kind of like did your momever tell you something about
clean socks?
because you never know if you goto the hospital clean underwear
you go to the hospital youdon't want to look, you know,
whatever.
I think it's.
I think it's just like thisover thing that, seeing kids now
a lot that we do in school alot of them don't have that
(12:48):
thought about themselves andtheir surroundings.
We see them at their tables atlunch.
I think it's a big thing and Ilearned that from my grandpa and
my mom and dad and going downand I think that it's something
that's kind of being lost alittle bit in the shuffle.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
I think to go along with that.
When you leave a place, I havealways been taught you leave it
better than what you found it.
So if you borrow someone'struck to take something you know
, maybe you got something tohaul and you borrow someone's
(13:24):
truck, you don't bring it backwith an empty tank of gas.
You bring it back with a fulltank of gas.
You might even clean it out alittle bit because you want to
leave things better.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
So here's what.
Here's what I'm hearing youguys say.
I think is, while you use theexample of cleaning a car out,
or cleanliness, or you know youmentioned john um, just making
sure that you're cleaning upafter yourself, or this- is
where chuck tells us that he wasthinking a lot deeper I was man
, I, I, but I think I canconnect what you guys were
(14:01):
talking about to a deeper,better value, because you're
thinking of like self-pride,right one bit, yeah, I mean how
else almost like I I don't evenknow if I would just say
self-pride.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
I think it's just kind of like I don't know I.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
I think it is.
I think it's taking care ofothers To me, to me, I think the
thing that we want to pass on,that we want kids to know, is
community and family areimportant.
How you treat people and wetalked about that we talked
(14:41):
about people.
How you treat people, and wetalked about that.
We talked about people.
How you treat people isimportant, and if you are not
treating people in the best waythat you can to help them be
better, I think that's what wewant to pass on.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
And what I would say.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Communication.
So please and thank you areimportant.
Cleaning up after yourself, orreturning things better than
what you got them in the statethat you got them in, is
important, and being a part ofthe community is important.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
And so, as you guys are talking about this, those
are the types of things thatmake you think outside of
yourself because you'reconsidering others.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
It's not so much relationships.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I learned it in school, Like growing up in the
church.
It was joy, right.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Jesus, others and yourself.
Yeah, that's the order.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Joy.
It's kind of the same thing Ilike joy.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
It's like you can't think of yourself first, I guess
.
I mean, I know I used theexample of cleanliness, but I
think that's part of it, becauseI think that's kind of the I
don't want to say selfish, but Ican't think of another word at
the moment.
It is because it's veryself-centered, it's just about
me.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
I'm going to live in a pit.
I don't care if this is dirty.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
I don't care if people think I look like
whatever.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Instead of picking up a bottle of water, I'm going to
kick it down the hallway, andmaybe I should pick it up and
make my place cleaner, if I wasgoing to look at, like you said,
a deeper mindset.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
It's like what is my focus as a person?
A deeper mindset, it's likewhat is my focus as a person?
Okay, is my focus just on me?
It's kind of like I don'tremember if we talked about this
in a thing.
But I have a big personal issuewith the word deserve, because
I, yeah.
When people say that I'm like,what do you mean you deserve?
(16:40):
I don't don't.
To me it seems like one ofthose words that's just thinking
about me that, like it's justme that may be part of entitled
but that's what I mean.
It's just like some people and Iand I and I hear what people
are saying when they say it likeI don't know that people
automatically think that but Ican't use that word like that,
(17:00):
like you deserve better thanthat, uh, no, okay, I mean, I
guess, but I don't, I just don'tthink of it that way.
So I think, like what John wassaying, and I know I well, I
don't know for sure where you'regoing, but I think that on the
deeper level it's about, I don'tthink that people should put
themselves first, maybe a closesecond, maybe third.
(17:25):
But if you're constantly alwaysin, let me back up one second.
There might be people in theirlife that right now they just
need to worry about themselvesand get themselves right.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
I get that, I get that Right, I get that In
general.
That focus where it's justabout me, I think is a very
difficult thing to w down to us,maybe not necessarily in our
family, but from previousgenerations, or even beyond that
, into the Civil andRevolutionary War.
Some of those things, some ofthose values that made us who we
are in 2025.
Like, what are some things thatsome traditions that have
(18:36):
formed us that we want to seemove on into 2020?
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Well, if you're talking, you know about that.
I mean, you think of, like yousaid, said okay, the people that
have been through the worldwars, which we.
It's very difficult for us,even at our age, to really
completely understand what somany of those people went
through.
Okay, so picture the idea ofand I'm again just putting it in
(18:59):
out there, you're a, you're amarried couple or whatever, and
your husband is shipped off thewar.
There's no cell phones, there'sno anything, there's no instant
communication.
The news is three days old bythe time.
You see it on a radio, you hearit on a radio.
(19:20):
You hear it on a radio, right,I mean, and you are at home and
you're doing things to helpration metal, and the automakers
aren't making cars anymorebecause they're putting all this
production into the war, andpeople are lined up for soup and
bread and all these things thatyou're rationing.
I mean, these are things thatwe can't identify with because
(19:42):
we've never really had to livethrough that.
We've heard stories and we canread things to understand it.
But I think that resiliency ofpeople to be able to go through
things that we look at todaylike, okay, at our age we might
be able to handle a little bit,but we've all seen people now of
a younger generation that wouldlook at something like that and
(20:05):
they would completely melt tothe floor.
There's too much weight there.
It's too much weight for them.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
What about the resiliency that some built over
COVID?
So you talk about resiliency.
They may not have experiencedresiliency in the ways that our
grandparents have, but I thinkmaybe between you think of 9-11,
you think of COVID, and I'msure if we put more thought into
it, there's resiliency that wasbuilt that they would say, hey,
(20:35):
yeah, we were resilient.
We may not have been like them,but we were resilient.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
We may not have been like them, but we were resilient
.
So what I will say is that Ithink when we talk about
resiliency and we talk aboutkind of a broad definition of it
is being able to handle thingsSure.
However, that presents itselfIf it's an emergency situation
or it's something that justhappens to me in the middle of
(21:02):
the day.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
Bouncing back right.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Yeah, it could be anything right, yeah, yeah, I
would say that there's plenty ofthose traditions that we talked
about, that that's where theycame from was in a moment of
being resilient, like let's justuse the example that I gave
before of eating lasagna onChristmas Eve.
A lot of people eat prime ribor they eat these things
(21:28):
whatever it is.
There was my family, I'm sure,at some point, and there's other
families that did this, butlasagna is not like a
gigantically expensive thing tomake, right, right.
So at some point, somebodyprobably made a meal that was
going to be good, that was goingto feed the entire family for
less money, and they were beingresilient, but they were still
(21:51):
celebrating.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
Yeah, they were celebrating the fact that they
were together.
They made it through the yearExactly.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
There's something to celebrate at the end of the year
, so I would venture to say thatthere's a ton of traditions
that come from that, somehow,that somebody had a situation
and they said, hey, let's dothis, or let's whatever it is in
spite of or in answer to this.
And they said, hey, let's dothis or let's whatever it is.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
Yeah, in spite of or in answer to this.
Yeah, because of, even, as youthink, of St Patrick.
I think that was probably aresiliency thing, right?
Yeah, and they're celebratingsomething that they overcame,
yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
And I think that even for us it's kind of like, okay,
like you talked about and we'vetalked about these traditions
that we've built as we've gottenolder, like with our kids or
like your kids are yearning forthings, right, some of these
things you, you know, it's likeit's not like I got a bunch of
money laying around right,sometimes you're going to make
something or an event orsomething that doesn't
(22:49):
necessarily cost a ton of money,but it's going to involve
people.
It's going to include people,it's going to make people happy,
it's going to have peopleenjoying themselves somehow, and
it doesn't have to be somethingthat necessarily breaks the
bank.
And maybe it is a traditionthat people then start to go.
It's like kind of like the Imean it's a silly tradition.
(23:12):
It's not silly, but anytimethat I can go to Lincoln which
is an hour from here, right, theclosest large collegiate thing
that we have for football, andit's big 10 university, nebraska
I will go and set up a tailgate.
And I started doing it, you know, 10 years ago and would go and
do it and kind of do it allmyself.
(23:34):
But now it's like the peoplethat come they'll bring it's
like a potluck, right, so now Igo all the way back to Lutheran
days where everybody brought adish right, somebody brings
something and you all just gettogether.
We might not even have ticketsto the game, but we have this
parking lot that we always go toand I know people in that
parking lot now, so there's kindof tradition there and next
year michigan's coming tolincoln, so we're gonna go and
(23:56):
obviously you guys we've talked,you guys are both invited.
It'll be fun, it'll be a goodtime, whether your team's
playing or not, it's a greatthing to get together.
But I think, resiliency wise, Istill think there's so many of
those traditions that we havethat that's probably especially
historically.
That's where they came from.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
And even like you mentionedCOVID you talk about that
(24:20):
there's plenty of things thathave probably happened
traditionally just since then,which was what did we say Five
years?
Speaker 3 (24:26):
six years ago.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Yeah, 1920 was when it was right 2020.
No, I mean that's.
I didn't mean 1920.
I meant 2019 or 2020.
2020.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
Yeah 2020.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
So even from there, there's been traditions that
have been built right.
Sure, yeah, I mean there'sthings I don't necessarily agree
with them all, but there'sstill them that people did
something to deal with something, right yeah, it's interesting,
as I think of the traditionsthat have come out of that time.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
I don't know if that's necessarily a thing or
not, I don't know, but one thingI think maybe that came out of
that is just gathering, becausethere were, that was a time when
, like we, you know, Didn'tgather, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
So traditions can ground us in our present and
they can create wings for us tofly into our future.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Oh, my gosh Waxing eloquence.
I think the Barbra Streisandover here wings for us to fly
into our future.
Oh, my gosh Waxing eloquence.
I think the Barbra Streisandover here.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
I think it's important that we have those
traditions.
Oh it's important, and you'retalking about those things.
You talked about whattraditions are important,
building relationships.
We've talked about friendships.
We've talked about community.
We've talked about community.
We've talked about familytraditions that build those
(25:59):
communities and families,because we are built as human
beings to be in relationship.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
And I would go take that further, john is to say
that those relationships andthose connections help build our
resiliency as well.
In what way?
Because I'm not on an island,so if something happens to me,
guess what.
I've got a system of peoplecommunity whatever you want to
call it around me to help me,and I'm going to help them too.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Luke, I remember you saying that you know to be a
friend.
I want to help a person.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
I want to help them a hundred percent and and
whatever they need.
They can call me and and I'llbe there.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
So are we are we wrapping up?
Speaker 1 (26:47):
I think we are.
Do you have a quote for us?
Are we wrapping up?
I think we are.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Do you have a quote?
Speaker 1 (26:51):
for us.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
It's not really a quote, but it's kind of
something to just tie it in withthe season and where we're at.
I know we talked a lot about StPatrick's Day and I know you've
heard that I love it, but someof you may have heard this I'm
sure you two have on some levelbut the old Irish blessing, so
it's not really a quote.
I like that, but the old Irishblessing, so it's not really a
quote.
I like the Irish.
But you know, may the road riseto meet you, right, okay, may
(27:14):
the sun be always at your back.
The sun shine warm upon yourface, the rain fall soft upon
your field.
Yes, no, snakes, snakes aregone Out of here, thank God.
But I think that that's theseason, and again it's spring
and it's Easter and it's Lentand there's a lot of things
happening, you know, and youlook at new life and you look at
(27:34):
things Right.
Everything right now is stillbrown, right, even though it's
78 degrees today or whatever itis, which is great.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Resurrection.
Green is peeking through it'sresurrection.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
You're right.
So everybody you know, be safethis weekend.
If you're, you know well, bythe time you hear this it'll be
the week past.
So I hope you had a great StPatrick's Day.
I know I'm going to.
I'm going to have some cornedbeef, some cabbage, I've got it
all ready to go.
Good deal.
Got it all ready to go, butanyway.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
All right guys.
Thanks for hanging out with ushere at Half Century Hangout.
For hanging out with us here atHalf Century Hangout.
We appreciate the listenersthat we have and everybody have
a great St Patrick's Day.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
We'll see you guys.
Peace out, sláinte.
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