Halfwits & Failed Crits

Halfwits & Failed Crits

Halfwits & Failed Crits is an actual play tabletop role-playing podcast where Game Master Jonathan Swenson vows to get his players to the end of a campaign. Unfortunately their cursed dice have other plans. Join them as they play Dungeons & Dragons, and try to make the guild to beat all guilds in Season 1 - Worlds Divided. Blast off into space with Season 2 - Children of the Spine, a Stars Without Number game. Or just hop on for a good time but not a long time with any of the crazy One Shots!? Where the Game Master can be anyone and the rules can be anything!

Episodes

January 1, 2020 1 min

Welcome to Halfwits & Failed Crits!

We are an actual play tabletop role playing podcast where Game Master Jonathan tries to get his players to the end of a campaign, even if their cursed dice have other plans.

Season 1 is Worlds Divided, a Dungeons and Dragons 5e campaign where an unlikely group forms a guild, and makes it their mission to upstage the top ranked guild in the nation. This is your standard Sword and Sorcery Fantasy...

Share
Mark as Played

Welcome to the first episode of Worlds Divided! In this episode the Halfwits recount the first three games we played before we started recording. After the summaries, you roll and insight check and get a....ten? This was a long time ago but we talk about to games out of character for a moment and give a glimpse into how we started out!

Music: "Crunk Knight" by Kevin MacLeod

Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.
Send...

Share
Mark as Played

Welcome back to our second summary episode, with only one more to go before we hit the real game!

The Syndicate meets The First Paradigm. Adriel discovers she just doesn't trust happy people, Nyxtern throws everyone, Melara tells a demi-god of knowledge that it's dumb, and Anya nuts at architecture.

Music: "Crunk Knight" by Kevin MacLeod

Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.
Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedC...

Share
Mark as Played

Our final summary episode to catch the story up to when we first started recording! The Syndicate takes candy from extra-dimensional strangers, Adriel keeps a secret, Anya has PTSD dreams, Melara is frequently a bird, and Nyxtern kills everything.

Music: Crunk Knight Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.
Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com. 

Support the show (https://ko-fi.com...

Share
Mark as Played
February 8, 2020 22 min

Hey its just your Dungeon Master today with some stories to tell of the personal lives of our precious Syndicate before they became a guild! Since we had a bit of extra upload time, but not enough to push the first actual play episode out, Jonathan reads the backstories that everyone wrote when they created their characters.

Adriel makes a friend, Anya starts The Trial, Melara hides an heirloom, and Nyxtern is a feral child.

 Music: ...

Share
Mark as Played
February 14, 2020 151 min

And we made it! This is our first actual, Actual Play episode! The Syndicate experiments further with a stone they got from otherworldly creatures, and possibly breaking their reality?! A tough act to hide when The First Paradigm always seems to show up when they are least welcome.

 Music: Crunk Knight Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.
Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com....

Share
Mark as Played
March 6, 2020 139 min

In this episode the Syndicate earns a new guild level, new titles, and new recruits. Everything is coming up roses for our halfwits and they are just positively glowing with excitement!

Music: Crunk Knight Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.
Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com.  

Post Roll Promo Swap with The Hole in the Wall!

Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/halfwitsfaile...

Share
Mark as Played
April 1, 2020 101 min

In this bonus episode Kiley takes the reins as GM in a wildly silly one shot where we play bears trying to steal from a honey convention. Join Earl (Mary), Bread (Laura), Kikkoman (Luis), and Mars (Jonathan) as they resist going full bear or surrendering to a life of crime, while trying to get their paws on the most expensive honey they can find.

Music:
Crunk Knight Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Shaking Hands with a Polar Bear - Ca...

Share
Mark as Played
April 24, 2020 109 min

In this episode the Syndicate pick their apprentices, learn about an upcoming festival of guilds, meet a bunch of weird old people, and come to the rescue of an overeager squad of new guild members.
 
Music: Crunk Knight Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.
Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com.   

Post Roll Promo Swap with The Hole in the Wall!

Support the show (https://ko-fi.co...

Share
Mark as Played
May 14, 2020 136 min

In this episode the Syndicate have turned Tree Tower into Traverse Town. It has a library, a training ground, some gardens, and The Sudsy Scales. Listen as they interact with their new townsfolk and completely forget they had important things to be doing.

Music: Crunk Knight Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.
Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com.    

Post Roll Promo Swap wit...

Share
Mark as Played

The dawn of the Guild Festival has come for the Syndicate. As Hallastead decks itself out for days of exciting competition, our party tries desperately to seem in the know as they traverse the more than murky waters of this secret tradition. Too bad they didn't spend time with that old wise man.

Music: Crunk Knight Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.
Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCri...

Share
Mark as Played

This week Guild Festival Announcers Kalezar and Israe give the play by play for the big showdown between The Syndicate and their nemesis, The First Paradigm!

Music: Crunk Knight Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.
Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com. 

Post Roll Promo Swap with The Hole in the Wall!

Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/halfwitsfailedcrits)

Share
Mark as Played
July 5, 2020 110 min

In this episode the Syndicate finds themselves reliving some old memories, before waking up in a world they don't recognize!

Music: Crunk Knight Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.
Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com.  

Post Roll Promo Swap with The Hole in the Wall!

Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/halfwitsfailedcrits)

Share
Mark as Played

The Syndicate are taken into custody by some of this alien worlds inhabitants and brought before a council to determine their fate, and the fate of Espacia as they know it.

Music: Crunk Knight Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.
Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com.   

Post Roll Promo Swap with The Hole in the Wall!

Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/halfwitsfailedcrits)

Share
Mark as Played
August 8, 2020 133 min

The Syndicate faces their most harrowing challenge yet, a battle with an Ancient Silver Dragon! Will the vault it guards hold the key to their escape from the rifts?!

 Music: Crunk Knight Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.
Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com.    

Post Roll Promo Swap with The Hole in the Wall!

Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/halfwitsfailedcrits)

Share
Mark as Played

The Syndicate begins the ultimate battle as worlds collide! Will they be able to save their guild-mates in time? Will they get revenge on the First Paradigm and the Guild Grand Masters? One thing is for certain, they are Righteous in their Wrath!

Music: Crunk Knight Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.
Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com.  

Post Roll Promo Swap with The Hole ...

Share
Mark as Played
September 18, 2020 119 min

The Syndicate are locked in battle with the Grand Masters of Hallastead in the final fight to free themselves and their new allies from their imprisonment within the rifts. Can they right the wrongs of the past, or will they be forced to live in the dying rifts!? 

This is the Finale of Halfwits & Failed Crits Season 1 - Worlds Divided!

Thank you to all of our listeners who came along this journey with us! Please let use our soc...

Share
Mark as Played
October 18, 2020 185 min

Our resident mistress of the dark Mary takes the role of Fate in this spooky scary one shot sure to send shivers down your spine! Join Murphy the Merfolk (Luis), Lilith the Vampire (Kiley), Amelia the Spectre (Laura), and Joaquin the Mummy (Jonathan) as we race to obtain mortality and a long deserved rest from monstering.

Theme:
Unholy Knight by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4563-unholy-knight
License: http:...

Share
Mark as Played
January 1, 2021 119 min

WELCOME TO SEASON 2!!!

This is the first of 5 games that were intended to be one shots, using the Stars Without Number Revised system by Kevin Crawford, but the group ended up liking it so much they wanted to make this the next campaign. We also have added a new member to our ranks, Bobby Prater. Bobby also made the outro that you will here at the end of the episode!

In this episode we meet the members of a notorious pirate gang know...

Share
Mark as Played
January 1, 2021 171 min

The crew of the Resonance is now in possession of a potential pre-scream artifact, and a map to find more! After deciphering the next set of coordinates, they are off to the planet Barbalil, where a civil war between the monarchy and the religious zealots is reaching a climax. Speaking of, there's rumor that one of our own crew may have an in with the royalty, or inversly, is very much no longer welcome here. Hop aboard the SPS...

Share
Mark as Played

Popular Podcasts

  • If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people.

  • Dr. Death

    We’re at our most vulnerable when we go to our doctors. We trust the person at the other end of that scalpel. We trust the hospital. We trust the system. Christopher Duntsch was a neurosurgeon who radiated confidence. He claimed he was the best in Dallas. If you had back pain, and had tried everything else, Dr. Duntsch could give you the spine surgery that would take your pain away. But soon his patients started to experience complications, and the system failed to protect them. Which begs the question: who - or what - is that system meant to protect? From Wondery, the network behind the hit podcast Dirty John, DR. DEATH is a story about a charming surgeon, 33 patients and a spineless system. Reported and hosted by Laura Beil.

  • The Daily

    This is what the news should sound like. The biggest stories of our time, told by the best journalists in the world. Hosted by Michael Barbaro. Twenty minutes a day, five days a week, ready by 6 a.m.

  • Dateline NBC

    Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations.

  • Stuff You Should Know

    If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.

Facebook comments will no longer be available on iHeart

We're taking steps to simplify your experience. If you want to reach out to our hosts or stations, please do so via their website or social media. If you need any assistance please check out our help site.

Chat About Halfwits & Failed Crits

Advertise With Us
Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeartRadio App.

Connect

© 2021 iHeartMedia, Inc.