Handing the Shame Back

Marcus is a Survivor.

He was adopted at 3 years of age and was abused from the age of 7 years old spanning a 10 year period. His abusers were many and included both men and women. His marriage involved more abuse culminating in him being stabbed by his wife, but as men were not considered to be ‘victims’ of physical abuse at that time, he felt he could not lay charges. His story is inspiring and offers hope and support t...

Meet Rebecca Rose
Healer. Survivor. Outdoor Enthusiast.

She was abused for the first seven years of her life by her godfather, her fathers best friend. He took her to a lot of events where the drug ketamine was used to keep her compliant and also block her memory. She was also sexually abused by both her mother and father, although she believes this happened independently of the other. Rebecca also talks about navy intelligence w...

Gloria is joined by Sean Lyons, Chief Online Safety Officer at Netsafe NZ, where he has worked for 20 years and also serves as Netsafe’s functional lead on Child Sexual Abuse online.

With experience in both the IT industry and education across the UK and New Zealand, Sean has a keen interest in how technology can be used to perpetrate harm online and how it can better be used to address it.

Sean is an active member of INHOPE, t...

Meet Kathie A.
Strong advocate of Survivors. Widow of a survivor.

In 2016 Kathie’s husband Kevin told her about his abuse at the hands of a catholic priest when he was 13 years old. Fast track to age 52, when he had a sudden cardiac arrest and his life was brought to an abrupt end.

Watch the story unfold as Kathie courageously shares all that led up to his passing, and her incredible advocacy both before and after this trage...

Meet Brianne Williams
Survivor. Counsellor. Outdoor recreation enthusiast.

Brianne was abused from 2 - 14 years of age. Her abusers were her father and her paternal grandfather. It was an open secret in their family, and was, she felt generational. Brianne did really well at school and was a high achiever, but as she states, all it did was mask the reality of the trauma she was experiencing.

If you’d like to connect with Bri...

Every year, we come together on Global Awareness Day to raise awareness of child sexual abuse, share ways to prevent it, and honour adult survivors, including those who didn’t make it.

This is a global silent epidemic. It's up to all of us, as a community, to shift the silence.

Wherever you are in the world, we invite you to take part in three simple but powerful ways:

❤️ Join us for a 30-minute walk at 1...

Meet John
SRA Survivor. Spiritual War Fighter. Philosopher.

John suppressed his childhood sexual abuse for 24 years. He is now 6 years into his healing, and currently works with police on exposing one of the facilities he was abused at. His perpetrators were mainly his parents and extended family, and continued until he was 12 years old.

For more information, resources, or coaching — whether you are a survivor or a supporter...

Meet Shereen Simmonds
Advocate. Founder of Phoenix Five

Shereen grew up in a family where attention was not directed her way. Her uncle provided that through grooming her with gifts and allowing her to spend time with his dogs. From age 7 to 14 years old he sexually abused her. When the case went to court, her mother spoke in defence of her uncle, suffice it to say she does not consider her a mother.

If you’d like to connect...

Meet Rob Balfour
Survivor. Just Me. Activist

At the age of 4, Rob was found wandering around the streets and said he would rather die than ‘go home’. Both parents had mental health issues, with his mother having violent episodes. This was the beginning of his trauma, as Rob was abused by several different people over the years, the first beginning when he was 6 years old. His advice? Recover yourself by coming home to...

Meet Caroline Hunt
Advocate. Survivor. Author

She was brought up in a strict Mormon home in a large Samoan family, where her parents were devout followers, and worked very hard. She was abused by her uncle from 4 - 8 years of age, whenever the family went back to visit them. He was seen as a trusted member of the family. He tried to rape her again when she was 15, but she was able to fight him off. What was very difficult for her...

Meet Dave Lukins
Survivor. Father of twins.

Dave first experienced abuse at the age of 7 in the toilets at school. Then again at 11 - 13 from a sports coach. He got so used to it happening, he expected it. He believes other boys were abused by the coach as well. When his son turned 7, the triggers began appearing, and the healing once it began, was to change his whole life.

For more information, resources, or coaching — whet...

We Survivors are allowed to have off days. Healing isn’t linear, and some days will feel heavier than others. It’s okay to rest, to feel, and to take time for yourself without guilt. Every step, even the quiet or difficult ones, is part of your journey, and taking a pause doesn’t erase your strength, it honours it.

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Meet Staci Reay
Survivor. Advocate

Staci was abused between 3-17 years of age by her father, who she later discovered was NOT her biological father. Her brothers were also abused by this man. Her twin brother became an alcoholic and died at age of 40. Staci herself, attempted suicide twice as a teenager, trying to escape the ongoing trauma of the abuse. Inspirational and brave, Staci’s story is well worth watching.

For more ...

It’s Christmas.

Getting through Christmas, can be an overwhelming ask for us as survivors. While many people experience joy and celebration during this time, we can feel the opposite through difficult emotions, painful memories, and feelings of isolation surfacing.

Here’s some ideas that may just help.

From all of us here at Handing the Shame Back
We see you
We stand beside you
We believe you

For more on us, go to:...

Meet Alyssa Milligan
Advocate for School Student Survivors. Article Writer. High School Student.

Alyssa is an incredible 16-year-old advocate who is wanting to help other students. She was abused when she was 13 years old by a family friend. He was caught by his wife who began calling her names and denigrating her. Her parents believed her, but it was her Church youth leader who went to the police with it. He was charged with the...

It's that time of year again and we have an exciting panel discussion lined up for you. Meet Ali Mau, Survivor, recent Author and Co-founder of Tika charity. Please welcome Dean Clarkson, Survivor and Founder of the charity Wana, the first male refuge in New Zealand. Together and combined with our own very special Gloria Masters, they will be providing ideas and support to help survivors navigate the Christmas season.

For more infor...

Meet John Comerford
Survivor. Mental Health Ambassador. Author

John was abused in a catholic school beginning when he was 11 years old. His abuser was a catholic brother who was later found to have been moved by the church from Melbourne to Sydney because of his sexual abuse of boys in his care. The damage he did spanned 3 decades and involved over 100 boys. John has some powerful insights and is both resilient and inspiring.

For ...

When is the right time to disclose what happened to you as a child? There is no one answer to this. Disclosing childhood sexual abuse is deeply personal, and the “right time” should not be determined by a calendar or someone else's expectations. It should defined by you; your readiness, your safety, and your sense of emotional strength in that moment.

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Every month we provide answers to YOUR questions. Yes we do read them, so please reach out to contactus@handingtheshameback.org, we want to help you! If you have a burning question, we may have an answer. Each month we provide a Q&A forum for you to help educate and inform. This month’s Q&A has a range of questions including: As a step parent, how do I have age appropriate conversations around body safety? For this an...