Handing the Shame Back

It is beyond important for everyone to get enough sleep. For survivors it is essential. Sleep is where the mind can relax, unwind and rest. We keep our minds busy with unresolved trauma and anxiety, so a good 8 hours of sleep is essential for healing and recovery.

► Visit our website for more information on our foundation: http://handingtheshameback.org
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Tracy Lee
Author. Activist. Lived experience CSA victim.

Tracy was the eldest of 4 children and the only girl. Her mother was 17 years old when she had her. She was abused by her father from the age of 4. She was abused by a celebrity at age 9, by a boy at age 12 and then by a man under a bridge at age 15. Her childhood was traumatic and difficult. Don’t miss her story here.

For more information, resources, or coaching — whether...

I believe that overthinking is connected to hypervigilance and is part of a post trauma response. For many survivors, overthinking became second nature, as you had no control over what was happening to you, and you began to think about, plan and replay events endlessly in your head. Simply because your survival depended on it. Question: Does it still serve you in your life as an adult? If not, keep listening to the blog, it provid...

Keith Williams
Survivor

Keith was 7 years old when the abuse began by an older brother, this went on till he was 12 years of age, at which point Keith believes he aged out. The coercive control and manipulation was powerful and ensured Keith never spoke out. He finally found his voice during Covid in 2021.

HELP
NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Auckland 0800 623 1700. Male Survivo...

Please reach out to contactus@handingtheshameback.org, we want to help you! If you have questions, we may have some answers, each month we provide a Q&A forum for you to help educate and inform. This month’s Q&A has a range of questions including: How do I help my kids identify who a ‘safe adult’ is? For this and more, have a watch of this short educational video, and learn something you may not have known. Once you know so...

Do you ever find yourself overthinking and wondering why you do it?

This can stem from anxiety, fear, and even feelings of not being seen, heard or understood. This was because during the time the abuse occurred, you had no way of overcoming what was happening to you. Instead of having healthy adaptive techniques you developed unhealthy maladaptive techniques. This led to becoming emotionally disregulated instead of being emotionall...

Lisa Mannina
Survivor. Pilot. Metastatic Breast Cancer Warrior

Lisa was abused by her mother's 3rd husband's son who was in his mid to late 20’s. She was 10 years old, this abuse carried on for 4 years and occurred at her family home, right under her mother’s and step father's eyes. She was frozen and confused and was told she wouldn't be believed if she ever told anyone. She did tell her best friend and she...

For most of us possibilities are not something we ever seriously consider. We tend to live with thoughts of things not working out for us as opposed to the opposite: things working out well. Did you know that if you think you can or think you can't, either way you are right? There is so much potential that lies within all of us that is largely untapped. I believe this is because we are not aware of how to access it, let alone ...

We want to help you! If you have questions, we may have some answers, each month we provide a Q&A forum for you to help educate and inform. This month’s Q&A has a range of questions including: how to support Survivors as a partner or spouse? What if I say the wrong thing? For this and more, have a watch of this short educational video, and learn something you may not have known. Once you know something, you can’t unknow it...

Meet Kieron
Survivor. Educator. CEO and Founder of Speak It Out

Kieron was 6 years old when the abuse began and was to continue until he was 17 years of age. This was perpetrated by someone close to him who he trusted and never thought would harm him. This was someone 4 years older than him.

To find out more about Speak It Out, go to: https://www.speakitout.org/ 

HELP
NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, suppor...

The Mind Dissociates

There is confusion around why this happens, but put simply the mind leaves when the body can’t. For survivors of child sexual abuse that is a blessing. But what if years later, as an adult, you are still quite dissociative? What if you are struggling to stay present? Can anything be done to help this?

Yes it can, and Gloria shows how.

For more on us, go to: handingtheshameback.org

We are on all social media platfo...

Meet Isabella Grosso
Survivor. Dancer. Author

She was abused from the age of 5 years by family friends and neighbours. She told her Dad, but nothing stopped after that. She could see the fear and sadness in his eyes so never spoke out again until she was in her 20’s. She felt her parents didn't want to know, and that her mother was also abused as a child.

HELP
NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@s...

Do you ever find yourself struggling to let go of a situation?

Do you ever find yourself uncomfortable with not having control or insight into what happens next? If the answer is yes, you stand in good company. Many survivors experience just that, and it is more common than you think.

It makes sense, as being abused as children you didn’t have any control, let alone understand how to manage it.

► Visit our website for more information...

We want to help you! If you have questions, we may have some answers, each month we provide a Q&A forum for you to help educate and inform. This month’s Q&A has a range of questions including: how to approach schools who are posting children's pictures on Facebook? For this and more, have a watch of this short educational video, and learn something you may not have known. Once you know something, you can’t unknow it.

Fo...

Meet Lee Cooper
Survivor. Advocate. Photographer

He was abused between 11-13 by a family member. He told no-one until he turned 31 years of age, and that was to his girlfriend. He believes that perpetrators know that disclosure is like a nuclear bomb going off which is why they so confidently operate under the cover of silence.

HELP
NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Auckland 0800...

Having a quiet time where you can connect in with your inner wisdom, will give you the answers you need. Your higher self is always at play, but you can only truly let go when you trust your instinct. The easiest and most effective way is through the following gateway: Go within.

It may feel odd, and contrary to what you are told… as in look outside yourself for the answers, through other people, books, etc.

But the real wisdom of be...

We are fortunate to have a member of NZ Police share the Global Hand Sign message in Te Reo. Please share far and wide so all who need to can see the hand sign and hear it. The more people that see this, the more children we can save.

For more information, visit:
✅ Global Hand Sign: handingtheshameback.org/global-hand-sign
✅ Global Hand Sign Response: handingtheshameback.org/global-hand-sign-response

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Meet Debbra Blosnich
Survivor. Author. Transformational Life Coach

Between the ages of 6 - 18 she was abused by her father, with him telling her you can’t get pregnant, I’ve been fixed. She was 12 at the time. At the age of 9 her mother asked her if her father ‘did’ things to her, with Debbra not answering the question fully as she didn't know how to respond. She was later to discover her father went on to abuse her sister...

Most of us would rather not revisit the past. It was traumatic, frightening, and understandably triggering. But what if I told you that how you approach your past could make all the difference? What if, by gently reflecting, you could make sense of it and gather some valuable insights about the child you were, and the adult you’ve become as a result? There is real value in understanding more of who we are. In doing so, we begin to...