Handing the Shame Back
This channel is dedicated to all those brave fellow 'adult survivors of child sexual abuse'. You are not alone out there, you are believed and supported in finding your voice & handing the shame back to the abusers - where it belongs. Handing the Shame Back is a New Zealand based charity, focused on preventing child sexual abuse through education and supporting adult survivors. Find out more about us and what we do: https://www.handingtheshameback.org Each week, Handing the Shame Back will add a Survivor Interview, Tip for Survivors, or Blog to help support our community in finding their way to truth and freedom. Please feel free to reach out if you would also like to be a guest on the show. Together, we can provide support and protect... The children of yesterday, whose pain was silenced. The children of today, who need our protection. The children of tomorrow, who deserve a safer world. From silence to action. From shame to strength.
Episodes
Meet Brianne Williams
Survivor. Counsellor. Outdoor recreation enthusiast.
Brianne was abused from 2 - 14 years of age. Her abusers were her father and her paternal grandfather. It was an open secret in their family, and was, she felt generational. Brianne did really well at school and was a high achiever, but as she states, all it did was mask the reality of the trauma she was experiencing.
Every year, we come together on Global Awareness Day to raise awareness of child sexual abuse, share ways to prevent it, and honour adult survivors, including those who didn’t make it.
This is a global silent epidemic. It's up to all of us, as a community, to shift the silence.
Wherever you are in the world, we invite you to take part in three simple but powerful ways:
❤️ Join us for a 30-minute walk...
Meet John
SRA Survivor. Spiritual War Fighter. Philosopher.
John suppressed his childhood sexual abuse for 24 years. He is now 6 years into his healing, and currently works with police on exposing one of the facilities he was abused at. His perpetrators were mainly his parents and extended family, and continued until he was 12 years old.
For more information, resources, or coaching — whether you are a survivor or a supporter, vis...
Meet Shereen Simmonds
Advocate. Founder of Phoenix Five
Shereen grew up in a family where attention was not directed her way. Her uncle provided that through grooming her with gifts and allowing her to spend time with his dogs. From age 7 to 14 years old he sexually abused her. When the case went to court, her mother spoke in defence of her uncle, suffice it to say she does not consider her a mother.
Meet Rob Balfour
Survivor. Just Me. Activist
At the age of 4, Rob was found wandering around the streets and said he would rather die than ‘go home’. Both parents had mental health issues, with his mother having violent episodes. This was the beginning of his trauma, as Rob was abused by several different people over the years, the first beginning when he was 6 years old. His advice? Recover yourself by coming home to who you re...
Meet Caroline Hunt
Advocate. Survivor. Author
She was brought up in a strict Mormon home in a large Samoan family, where her parents were devout followers, and worked very hard. She was abused by her uncle from 4 - 8 years of age, whenever the family went back to visit them. He was seen as a trusted member of the family. He tried to rape her again when she was 15, but she was able to fight him off. What was very difficult for h...
Meet Dave Lukins
Survivor. Father of twins.
Dave first experienced abuse at the age of 7 in the toilets at school. Then again at 11 - 13 from a sports coach. He got so used to it happening, he expected it. He believes other boys were abused by the coach as well. When his son turned 7, the triggers began appearing, and the healing once it began, was to change his whole life.
We Survivors are allowed to have off days. Healing isn’t linear, and some days will feel heavier than others. It’s okay to rest, to feel, and to take time for yourself without guilt. Every step, even the quiet or difficult ones, is part of your journey, and taking a pause doesn’t erase your strength, it honours it.
► Visit our website for more information on our foundation: http://handingtheshameback.org
► Donate please, this he...
Meet Staci Reay
Survivor. Advocate
Staci was abused between 3-17 years of age by her father, who she later discovered was NOT her biological father. Her brothers were also abused by this man. Her twin brother became an alcoholic and died at age of 40. Staci herself, attempted suicide twice as a teenager, trying to escape the ongoing trauma of the abuse. Inspirational and brave, Staci’s story is well worth watching.
Meet Damien Diver
Survivor. Married father of 3. Primary School Teacher.
Damien was abused in 2003 at age of 16 by a family friend while working with him in the school holidays. This was to continue over 2 summers, with the grooming built up over this time impacting both him and his family. The first time it happened Damien’s behaviour changed, and it was to be 16 years before he could talk about what happened to him. What happ...
It’s Christmas.
Getting through Christmas, can be an overwhelming ask for us as survivors. While many people experience joy and celebration during this time, we can feel the opposite through difficult emotions, painful memories, and feelings of isolation surfacing.
Here’s some ideas that may just help.
From all of us here at Handing the Shame Back
We see you
We stand beside you
We believe you
For more on us, go to: handingt...
Meet Alyssa Milligan
Advocate for School Student Survivors. Article Writer. High School Student.
Alyssa is an incredible 16-year-old advocate who is wanting to help other students. She was abused when she was 13 years old by a family friend. He was caught by his wife who began calling her names and denigrating her. Her parents believed her, but it was her Church youth leader who went to the police with it. He was charged with th...
It's that time of year again and we have an exciting panel discussion lined up for you. Meet Ali Mau, Survivor, recent Author and Co-founder of Tika charity. Please welcome Dean Clarkson, Survivor and Founder of the charity Wana, the first male refuge in New Zealand. Together and combined with our own very special Gloria Masters, they will be providing ideas and support to help survivors navigate the Christmas season.
Meet John Comerford
Survivor. Mental Health Ambassador. Author
John was abused in a catholic school beginning when he was 11 years old. His abuser was a catholic brother who was later found to have been moved by the church from Melbourne to Sydney because of his sexual abuse of boys in his care. The damage he did spanned 3 decades and involved over 100 boys. John has some powerful insights and is both resilient and inspiring.
When is the right time to disclose what happened to you as a child? There is no one answer to this. Disclosing childhood sexual abuse is deeply personal, and the “right time” should not be determined by a calendar or someone else's expectations. It should defined by you; your readiness, your safety, and your sense of emotional strength in that moment.
► Visit our website for more information on our foundation: handingtheshameba...
Every month we provide answers to YOUR questions. Yes we do read them, so please reach out to contactus@handingtheshameback.org, we want to help you! If you have a burning question, we may have an answer. Each month we provide a Q&A forum for you to help educate and inform. This month’s Q&A has a range of questions including: As a step parent, how do I have age appropriate conversations around body safety? For this and more...
Meet Dean Clarkson
Survivor. Trail Blazer. Founder. Father.
Dean was 6 years old when he was first abused by an older boy who isolated him while playing a game. He never saw him again after that, but his coping mechanism became one of self harming. He was then abused from the age of 9 - 11 by a much older girl. His life as an adult, then became one of a victim as his wife physically abused him for years. What he now does is insp...
It is beyond important for everyone to get enough sleep. For survivors it is essential. Sleep is where the mind can relax, unwind and rest. We keep our minds busy with unresolved trauma and anxiety, so a good 8 hours of sleep is essential for healing and recovery.
► Visit our website for more information on our foundation: http://handingtheshameback.org
► Donate please, this helps us keep going: http://handingtheshameback.org/d...
Tracy Lee
Author. Activist. Lived experience CSA victim.
Tracy was the eldest of 4 children and the only girl. Her mother was 17 years old when she had her. She was abused by her father from the age of 4. She was abused by a celebrity at age 9, by a boy at age 12 and then by a man under a bridge at age 15. Her childhood was traumatic and difficult. Don’t miss her story here.
I believe that overthinking is connected to hypervigilance and is part of a post trauma response. For many survivors, overthinking became second nature, as you had no control over what was happening to you, and you began to think about, plan and replay events endlessly in your head. Simply because your survival depended on it. Question: Does it still serve you in your life as an adult? If not, keep listening to the blog, it provid...
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