Handing the Shame Back

Meet Isabella Grosso
Survivor. Dancer. Author

She was abused from the age of 5 years by family friends and neighbours. She told her Dad, but nothing stopped after that. She could see the fear and sadness in his eyes so never spoke out again until she was in her 20’s. She felt her parents didn't want to know, and that her mother was also abused as a child.

HELP
NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@s...

Do you ever find yourself struggling to let go of a situation?

Do you ever find yourself uncomfortable with not having control or insight into what happens next? If the answer is yes, you stand in good company. Many survivors experience just that, and it is more common than you think.

It makes sense, as being abused as children you didn’t have any control, let alone understand how to manage it.

► Visit our website for more information...

We want to help you! If you have questions, we may have some answers, each month we provide a Q&A forum for you to help educate and inform. This month’s Q&A has a range of questions including: how to approach schools who are posting children's pictures on Facebook? For this and more, have a watch of this short educational video, and learn something you may not have known. Once you know something, you can’t unknow it.

Fo...

Meet Lee Cooper
Survivor. Advocate. Photographer

He was abused between 11-13 by a family member. He told no-one until he turned 31 years of age, and that was to his girlfriend. He believes that perpetrators know that disclosure is like a nuclear bomb going off which is why they so confidently operate under the cover of silence.

HELP
NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safetotalk.nz. Help Auckland 0800...

Having a quiet time where you can connect in with your inner wisdom, will give you the answers you need. Your higher self is always at play, but you can only truly let go when you trust your instinct. The easiest and most effective way is through the following gateway: Go within.

It may feel odd, and contrary to what you are told… as in look outside yourself for the answers, through other people, books, etc.

But the real wisdom of be...

We are fortunate to have a member of NZ Police share the Global Hand Sign message in Te Reo. Please share far and wide so all who need to can see the hand sign and hear it. The more people that see this, the more children we can save.

For more information, visit:
✅ Global Hand Sign: handingtheshameback.org/global-hand-sign
✅ Global Hand Sign Response: handingtheshameback.org/global-hand-sign-response

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Meet Debbra Blosnich
Survivor. Author. Transformational Life Coach

Between the ages of 6 - 18 she was abused by her father, with him telling her you can’t get pregnant, I’ve been fixed. She was 12 at the time. At the age of 9 her mother asked her if her father ‘did’ things to her, with Debbra not answering the question fully as she didn't know how to respond. She was later to discover her father went on to abuse her sister...

Most of us would rather not revisit the past. It was traumatic, frightening, and understandably triggering. But what if I told you that how you approach your past could make all the difference? What if, by gently reflecting, you could make sense of it and gather some valuable insights about the child you were, and the adult you’ve become as a result? There is real value in understanding more of who we are. In doing so, we begin to...

Meet Marvin Hitchman
Survivor. Author. A fighter who wants to make more people aware of child sexual abuse.

He was also born in prison. When he was adopted out, he never bonded with his adoptive father, and found himself feeling isolated. He took refuge outside the home, and it was there he was preyed upon. His abuser sexually abused from the age of 11 to 14 years of age, with no respite. He is now an author and legend, helping ...

This month’s Q&A has a range of questions including: Why use the hand sign when it's for everyone else to use? Do survivors of child sexual abuse more likely to go on and abuse children? For these answers and more, have a watch of this short educational video, and learn something you may not have known. We all know once you know something, you can’t unknow it.

For more on us, go to: handingtheshameback.org

We are on all soci...

The role guilt plays in sexual abuse as a child is varied. Please note, that without exception; if you are a survivor of this trauma, you were undoubtedly groomed, manipulated and often bullied into being complicit. However it manifested, you would have felt guilt. As an adult looking back, although you understand this, sometimes the guilt feels too much. Have a listen to this to begin finding your way back to empowerment and self...

Meet Ciara Redmond
Survivor of serial predator and serial rapist. Raises awareness.

Ciara was raised in a family where once her younger brother had cancer the focus needed to be on him. This resulted in her being left alone and vulnerable at times. She was then targeted by a predator and physically and sexually abused from the age of 14. Her story is riveting, and she has been able to turn the trauma into a gift for humanity.

HE...

Meet Glenn Miles
Survivor. Researcher. Nurse

Although he suffered humiliation and sexualised school bullying at the hands of his peers, Glenn was seriously sexually abused at a Christian camp at age 13 by a 30-year-old male he was sharing a room with. He was told, this is normal and what men do. He felt it was somehow his fault, and then spent the next 3 decades hiding the fact he was gay from everyone but his wife.

HELP
NZ ...

Meet Karen Shell
Survivor. Nonprofit Founder. Champion for Kids. Entrepreneur

Karen was raised in a family where her father was not just sexually abusive, but mentally, physically and psychologically as well. Out of the 4 children, it was she that was the target, and as a result, her childhood was miserable. What she did, and how she managed to turn it around is inspiring.

To reach Karen, email: info@karenshell.com

HELP
NZ Sex...

NZ Herald interviews Gloria and her partner Detective Inspector Scott Beard on the Global Hand Sign for Under 16’s to use, showing they are not safe and being sexually abused. Have a watch and listen of this, as this couple sets out to #LetsSaveSomeKids across the globe.

Read the full article here: https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/top-police-detective-scott-beard-backing-hand-signal-to-prevent-child-sex-abuse/YCVBDIO2WBAFFOTIH727EQLRX...

Meet Jeremy R.
Survivor. Content Creator. Writer

He was born with Spina Bifida and his parents were told he would never walk let alone live. He is now in his 40’s.

He was 5 years old when his female abuser first started grooming, manipulating and then abusing him. This was to go on for over 4 years, until he became hospitalised and eventually home schooled.

HELP
NZ Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or text 4334, support@safe...

Being interviewed by Nick on MoreFM Rodney was empowering. Being able to discuss the book; Keeping Kids Safe which is now in every school in NZ, honouring. It is time for the world to join the campaign to educate and resource our children on how to Keep Safe. So grateful to have been on air for this one. Thanks to Nick and Anna, the cycle has begun.

For more on us, go to: handingtheshameback.org

We are on all social media platforms:...

Rest and Recovery are essential for survivors. Though not often discussed it is crucial for survivors to rest deeply when dealing with this. Thinking about or working through your trauma, reignites it and this leads to the exact same trauma responses you experienced as a child. What was unavailable to you then was resting and recovering from it, especially if the abuser was a family member. Don’t underestimate the healing resting p...

Q&A Session

Join us on this Q&A Session where Gloria answers a range of questions posed by you, the Survivors. One for this month includes: how do you explain the hand sign to younger children. The questions are pertinent, and Gloria, as always provides calm and measured responses that helps restore grace and acceptance to these difficult experiences.

For more information, resources, or coaching — whether you are a survivor o...