Handing the Shame Back

Handing the Shame Back

This channel is dedicated to all those brave fellow 'adult survivors of child sexual abuse'. You are not alone out there, you are believed and supported in finding your voice & handing the shame back to the abusers - where it belongs. Each week I will add another interview with a 'fellow survivor' to help support our community in finding their way to truth and freedom, which only real truth can bring. Please feel free to reach out if you would also like to be a guest on the show. About Me: I too am a survivor of child sexual abuse spanning sixteen years. I have written a book called On Angels' Wings - My Flight from Trauma to Grace. I also blog monthly on https://www.handingtheshameback.org/ Check out our youtube channel: Handing the Shame Back..

Episodes

June 17, 2024 28 mins

From Melbourne Australia, a warm welcome to Jeanie Dean, who is an Expert Witness | Safeguarding Safety Risk Expert | Trauma Informed Investigator and specialist interviewer and Trainer | Managing Director at Safeguarding Solutions Australia. 
She grew up in a family of violence, and was sexually abused at the age of 15 by someone known to the family. What helped her recovery was: Time, Therapy - IFS, and learning how to protec...

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Encouragement
Your survivor may feel weary and down at times about their history of child sexual abuse. Though expected and normal, they may need some encouragement at times. An effective way is to come up with 3 things that would help lift and shift their mood thereby giving them something else to focus on.

Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching w...

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June 10, 2024 20 mins

Luke Wiersma
Meet this brave Survivor who runs Leaderboard Meetings for Survivors of child sexual abuse. Luke was abused by an older woman as a teenager, and used drugs and alcohol as a way to cope. Eventually he got fed up with drinking and passing out everyday, so began using advocacy as a way to out of the vicious cycle.
You can contact Luke through email on wiersmaluke33@gmail.com.  
HELP
NZ    Sexual Harm Helpl...

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June 6, 2024 1 min

Self Advocacy
Is one way of having your own back and looking after you
The three components to this are: to understand what your needs are,  to know what might help to support to those needs. and lastly to be able to communicate those needs.

Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coaching whether survivor or supporter. https://www.handingtheshameback.or...

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June 3, 2024 25 mins

Luke Wiersma
Meet this brave Survivor who runs Leaderboard Meetings for Survivors of child sexual abuse. Luke was abused by an older woman when he was a teenager, he was manipulated and controlled and began using drugs as a way to cope. The abuse continued until he was 18 years of age, at which time she considered him to be too old.
You can contact Luke through email on wiersmaluke33@gmail.com.  
HELP
NZ    Sexual H...

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May 30, 2024 5 mins

Survivors
As it wasn't safe to use your voice as a child, it can feel very important to you to use it today.
Honour that within you, there is a part of you that wants to, No, needs to be heard. 
This will always be a subliminal desire whether you know it or not. 
This is also a crucial and non negotiable part of the healing process.

Go to our website (see below) for more information on our foundation <...

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May 27, 2024 26 mins

Brinn Langdale continued...
Therapist. Speaker. Writer 
Abused by her brother 2 and a half years older than her, from 4 till age 15, Brinn was 18 before the truth finally came out. Her mother chose to support her brother over her, partly due to his heroin addiction. As a result, Brinn felt less supported.
You can reach Brinn through the wholistic approach to healing podcast. www.brinnlangdale.com
HELP
NZ    Sexu...

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Leading a double life
As children who were being abused,  we still had to go to school, play sport and carry on as though everything was fine. 
No one could know what was going on, so in essence we were leading a secret or double life. 
As adults this can sometimes still be present, in us.
Please check in with yourself by responding to this question: Is who you are able to be authentic and genuine across all aspects...

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May 20, 2024 19 mins

Meet Brinn Langdale
Therapist. Speaker. Writer 
Abused by her brother 2 and a half years older than her, she had thought they were best friends. The abuse began when she was 4 years old and continued till she was 15.
The disclosure at age 18,  was to change her life and that of her whole family.  
You can reach Brinn through the wholistic approach to healing podcast. www.brinnlangdale.com
HELP
NZ    Sexual H...

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Holding the Space
This is about you.
When supporting survivors we can end up depleted or overwhelmed or even fed up.
That's okay, and to be expected. Allow yourself to have some space for you, a bit of time away or some self care. EG, Playing footy, doing an art class. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as you're feeling refreshed and repleted. 

Go to our website (see below) for more informati...

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May 13, 2024 25 mins

Meet Neil Milton - Part 2
GM of Child Safe Australia, and founder of the Table Talk Project.
Neil was abused by an older child at his school, which carried on from 10 to 13 years of age. He never felt he had a voice growing up, and eventually realised, later in life, that he always chose work which reflected 'looking to have his voice heard'. Don't miss this, very powerful Part 2 with Neil.
You can reach ...

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May 9, 2024 1 min

I am enough
We struggle with this, because what was taken from us among other things was: pride, self-love and feelings of self worth. What arose instead was a feeling of deep lack, as in 'I am not enough'. 
But please note: You were always enough, You always have been enough. You are still enough.

Go to our website (see below) for more information on resources available, and if you are looking for coachi...

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May 6, 2024 26 mins

Meet Neil Milton - Part 1
GM of Child Safe Australia, and founder of the Table Talk Project.
Neil was abused by an older child at his school, which carried on from 10 to 13 years of age. When it first began, he told his mother what was happening, but because she responded with 'they were just experimenting', Neil felt he had no option but to accept it, and actually believed this is what friendship looked like.

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May 2, 2024 59 mins

Dilworth Exposé
Meet Neil harding who is leading the class action against Dilworth school for the deliberate and planned sexual abuse of boys in their care. Self described as father, grandfather, Dilworth survivor, Chiropractor, crusader for justice accountability and a safer world, finalist NZ Herald “Heroes for 2023”, Neil has been trying for 6 years to get justice.
 HELP
NZ    Sexual Harm Helpline, 0800 044 334 or te...

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April 25, 2024 5 mins

Survivors
If for any reason you carry guilt about what happened to you, you are not alone, we were all conditioned to feel this. Whichever way you were groomed into thinking it was your fault, was done with one goal in mind, to have you carry the responsibility so they didn't have to. Their intent was to make sure you held that load, and as a child you did!
It's time to let go now. Handing it back  will free you.<...

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April 22, 2024 20 mins

Tess Gonzales - Part 2
Christian. Survivor. Advocate.
Tess suffered  incest at the hands of her mother, who drugged her. She was eventually abused by her brother as well. Throughout her childhood, she felt unable to fit in. She was close to her grandmother,  and found that volunteering at a local rest home was key in helping her to navigate her way through it all.  You can find Tess:  https://www.facebook.com/tessa.gonzales...

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April 18, 2024 1 min

For survivors everywhere, we can sometimes we feel we don't fit in with others, in part because our experience was very different to theirs, and trying to explain it is challenging.
This was also true of us as children, and is to be expected. If you are struggling with this and it's feeling big, maybe consider that: 'In the not fitting in you are teaching people something.'

Go to our website (see be...

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April 15, 2024 24 mins

Meet Tess Gonzales - Part 1
Christian. Survivor. Advocate.
Tess not only suffered prolonged Incest by mother but was drugged throughout as well. Her brother, 41/2 years older than her, was also abused by her mother. Unfortunately he then chose to sexually abuse Tess ensuring home was never a safe place for her. Watching this story will not leave you unmoved.
You can find Tess: https://www.facebook.com/tessa.gonzales.777...

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Its' not their fault
The survivor in your life, may still feel its their fault, that somehow they caused the abuse to occur.
Although to you , it may seem unusual they feel that, please understand: as children they were conditioned to believe they were wrong, and actually caused it.
They didn't have ability to understand they were being lied to and deceived. 
Help them to see that!

Go to our websi...

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April 8, 2024 50 mins

Meet Scott Beard at NZ Police
He is a Detective Inspector with the New Zealand Police, leading several teams including: the child protection team, the child exploitation team, the child sex offender management team and the adult sexual assault team in Auckland city. His insights and knowledge help support survivors and children everywhere within NZ, so this feature interview is a must see!.
You can reach out to Detective In...

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