Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
You look great, hello
, hello, welcome to the Timmy
with Kimons podcast.
Thank you, I am your host, rjFerreira.
I've been gone for a little bitbut now I'm back.
I'm back from the dead and Ihave a very special guest today.
I have a big ready.
(00:21):
Now I kind of consider familyand all day.
Her.
Her name is sean and seanharris.
Sean harris, uh, sean mcharris.
oh, thank you so much todaythank you so much for inviting
me it's awesome, uh, thank youfor everything you've done uh on
(00:43):
me up to this point.
Uh, I know we've we've had uhlike kind of sparing contact
with each other over the lastnine months or so, um, but I
think our relationship uh showsme what I've always thought is
true, um and we spoke a littlebit about it last night that it
doesn't matter if you seesomebody every single day or if
(01:05):
they live right down the roadfrom you, or if you see them at
work every day or anything likethat.
You can have a strong bond andrelationship with somebody that
you've met in a short period oftime If the people what I think
I believe are on the samefrequency, if there's people,
(01:26):
what I think I believe are onthe same frequency.
And that's why I'm going to behere with you to talk about some
of this stuff, things likefrequency and healing journeys
and mindfulness and kind ofgoing over things that you and
your day-to-day of gettingthrough obstacles, and so, yeah,
(01:50):
we're going to, we're going tostart with learning about you
and then from there we'll kindof navigate our way through some
questions.
Maybe it doesn't make senseright now, but it's going to
make a lot of sense over at theend.
So, shrinan, where do you come?
Speaker 2 (02:10):
from.
I was born in Minnesota andI've moved 27 times, so that's
why I gave you the look 27 times.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Technically I'm from
Kansas because I've been here
the longest of anywhere thatI've lived.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Yes, how long you've
been in pass a few different
times.
Came left, game left, so Ithink total I'm going like on 20
years, so by far the longestI've ever been anywhere.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Yeah do you
consistently?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
You know, I don't
really have an attachment to a
place.
I consider home anywhere whereI am being me and it feels like
I have the opportunities to makea difference.
That's it, yeah that's it.
(03:09):
Yeah, um, I've heard said beforeand I believe you believe that
uh, only can be a person thatmaybe as well and a place, well,
for me home is my part is noteven person, I guess.
Soul, yeah, so, which I don'tconsider body, you you know,
soul is deeper than that.
So I know I wouldn't say thatI'm home with a person, because
(03:30):
that would be a lot ofobligation, right, a lot of
responsibility on another person, and really that responsibility
lies in me.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
So you moved a bunch
over to life.
Okay, so you moved a bunch overto life.
How does your journey for youget started in terms of figuring
out who you are as a person?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
So maybe from the
beginning you're born in Uda,
what?
Back then you were kind of castout of your communities, if you
know you had.
You got pregnant out of orderand like here, go make something
of yourself when you have to beUm.
And so my, my mom and dad, youknow, got divorced when I was
really um young and then that'sthe the moving and.
But then we'd go back to dad'syou know, go in the background
(04:50):
and be not seen.
You know dad expected us toshow up and work hard every day
and we were given individualresponsibility.
So I had to break horses was oneof the things that he had a
horse breeding racing farm andso I would break some of the
(05:11):
horses there.
And the one thing that shiftedme for the rest of childhood, I
think, was one day I canremember very well where I was
supposed to break those four.
That was pretty crazy.
It was part thoroughbred, parttortoise and I was scared.
Dad knew I was scared so hecalled all hired haves and my
(05:34):
brother over, you know, to goalong the side of the ring and
everybody's right there.
So it's good for support,supposedly right, and it would
have worked fine if it wouldhave worked, but it didn't work.
So I got bucked off, you know,and of course you know dad's
like I can't, don't let him seeyou cry.
You know, get up, get back on.
It wasn't the first time I gotbucked off five times, so five
(05:59):
times in front of all thosepeople.
I mean, they could barely standto watch.
So then you know, I think dadwas kind of questioning his
methods too.
So he took the horse and meinside a barn where there was a
stall that didn't have anywindows and it had a really low
kind of ceiling where mares cando foaling and it feels cozy.
(06:19):
You know she won't be able tobuck you up in there.
So instead she reared up asmuch as she could and flipped
over on top of me.
So after that, you know, I feellike that was a pretty big shift
in how I viewed what, how I wasgoing to take care of myself
(06:40):
going forward, myself goingforward.
And the best way to do that waskind of to avoid conflict right
, to not put myself insituations where I was going to
have to be the star of the showin the center of the ring, like
if I just kind of fade in thebackground then, um, you know,
then I'll be able to manage lifeand that works very well.
(07:02):
Until I joined the and I showedup not knowing that the MOS
that I chose for the collegemoney, which I'm glad I did.
You know, it's a lot of money,25,000 bucks for college.
So when I realized that the MOSthat I chose was primarily men,
(07:23):
because it was very physicallydemanding and I was had no idea,
my recruiter you know,recruiters are great, they say
things too, like they, you know,like, oh, it'll be kind of like
being in college, you know,you'll do some paperwork and
you'll go outside sometimes andhave fun.
Um, but it wasn't that way atall.
(07:44):
Um, it was.
It was totally different.
And so that gave me theopportunity to actually then
realize that here I can't fadeinto the background, I can't
just get by.
I'm either going to survive andand do really well or I'm gonna
(08:04):
have to quit one or the other.
And I made the choice to go allin, and so that really made a
difference.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
It was ammunition
specialist yeah okay but some to
the very explicit.
So you grew up in like a ranchbranching for our horses and
everything.
Um, we talked a little bit.
I, I just got my first horseyeah that's, uh, one of the many
(08:36):
bucket list things I kind ofchecked off um the last two
years.
I made a vision board and okay,that was a very large percentage
that I've already used, youknow, checked off.
But one of those things wasfrom a very young age.
I was a missionary and I alwayswanted to be on the map and in
Montana I wanted to be aparamount adult.
(08:59):
Okay, and that looks likeeverything I want is bought.
Awesome Horse.
Oh see, I got my first horse.
You in your like anything thatwas like a pen.
(09:20):
This horse flips over, smashesyou.
Where's the sting?
Can you hear it for me?
Speaker 2 (09:33):
You know, when you're
a kid your body can handle a
lot.
You're almost unbreakable.
I did break some bones as a kidbut it wasn't then and for the
most part if we had some sort oflike internal bruising or
issues.
I mean, my brother fell out ofa hayloft onto the concrete on
(09:53):
his head.
You know we didn't, we didn'tgo check for injuries.
So unless you were, you clearlyhad a bone sticking out or
something.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
So I really I don't
know yeah, we're a senior at all
, yeah what?
Speaker 2 (10:06):
the 55 bravo
ammunition specialist.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
And then that's how I
started, but then I moved over
to explosive ordnance and then Iwas also in carpentry leave me,
my goodness, um, you've kind ofdone everything, so that's why
I'm trying to kind of pinpointwhere to begin, because I just
feel like you're this lark onionand you have somewhere.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Well, you know, I'll
give you a little.
I don't think, you know, frommy perspective, even though
those were major shifts, I don'tthink that that's how I
actually found, you know, what Iwas looking for, that I didn't
know that I needed.
I think that that came later,but now I do think that those,
(10:51):
those shifts, those veryspecific things that forced me
to make a change in how I viewedlife, led me then to be able to
show up for the things that Idid later that were really
transformative.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Are you so?
Are you able to be on thecenter stage now?
I mean, the UDS is on a massscale.
Yeah, people are not out of theworry, and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Yeah.
So if somebody said, oh, we'reon today, we, we, you know, we
lost our guest speaker and, um,we need you to come and talk to
a group of 5,000 people and makethem feel any, you know, just
give them something, um, in aparticular category, I'd be like
sure, yeah, I won't be able tospeak to people because I care
(11:48):
about about people so much thatit's not about me.
Yeah, I get that.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
I really think, um, I
never had any stage fright or
anything like that.
Going up and speaking in frontof assass, ass and it's people
like about to throw up, knowingthat they're going to be the
next world, and in my head Icould never connect that like
how, like I had some blockage orsomething you know and I don't
know exactly said about me orthe lady what that me unless you
(12:25):
know family or something you'reyou didn't really match like
that.
Um, were you always able toshut all things off like that,
or?
Um, is it, uh, was it somethingyou grew into over time?
Speaker 2 (12:38):
yeah.
So shutting things off, uh,that's that's what happened
during the you know thesituation with the horses and
then turning them back on withthe army.
And then I shut them back offagain when I got out, because I
didn't know my place in theworld anymore.
(13:00):
I felt lost, you know, and Iknew that I felt like I needed
to be professional, I needed tohave a family, I needed to be
perfect, and so I also.
That meant that I needed to bequiet, because otherwise I might
get myself in trouble.
So I shut that off, yeah.
And then it came back on my 30s, mid-30s, yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
You have more of this
than the last.
It's like me 10 years ago.
I'm now all over the same heart, I would say.
The energy levels I'm morereserved.
I was talking about the otherday with somebody and it's like
I don't think it weighs reallytime or energy.
(13:47):
You know, and you're incalculate all the small talk
you've ever had in your life.
I mean, sure, it's probably alarge amount, but in my head it
matters and I go.
I want to make all my time onthis planet, me, you know, and
it's weird because that set meup like now I just go to sleep
(14:09):
really early.
You know, we have the.
I think we're similar in a lotof ways.
When we were talking earlier,you said I get up at four.
Right, you know, like the lasttwo years, that has been my
exact, that's how I start, andif I don't start like that,
there's a shift.
You know, like the last twoyears, that has been my exact,
(14:30):
that's how I start.
I mean, if I don't start likethat, there's a shift, you know,
and I'll feel it.
And then we, what's to be?
You know, no, we have to getback into that rib.
Um, the the right in that keyslip in mindfulness.
When did that start for you?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Have you always been
a writer?
No, no, I had started about thetime of my divorce, I think
yeah, definitely.
Then my divorce from mychildren's father, and I needed
to process things.
You know, we talked a littlebit yesterday about how it's
(15:07):
like okay, well, this personhurt me or did this, but really
I even knew then that there wassomething that I needed to work
on so that I could understandbetter how that, all you know,
went, because there has to betwo right that allow that to go.
So, and of course, it was 10years, 11 years or something.
(15:30):
So I started writing to processand then I did.
You know, all my childhood, allthat, and after I got through it
in a few years, is when Istarted traveling and when I
started really traveling.
That's when my writing shiftedto um, every day when I got back
(15:57):
from whatever I was doing,wherever I was.
I just make notes because I hadsuch such remarkable
interpersonal experiences, thosereally deep ones that you're
talking about, that I want toremember for the rest of my life
.
But also, I talked to peoplethat I want to tell their
stories, um, so I wanted to makesure that I was capturing, um
(16:19):
what I was experiencing, so thatI wouldn't forget.
And you know, a lot of times ourbrains will think it's
something is so incredible whenit's going on, and then two days
later we'll be.
You know, we have a way ofsaying to ourselves oh, you made
, you made that, that was toobig.
You know, it really wasn't thatbig of a deal, and so we can
talk ourselves right out of it.
(16:40):
But if you capture it when it'shappening, then you can't,
because when you read it youstill know two days later, when
your brain tells you it wasn'tthat important, you look at it,
you're like still important,very important, yeah, I think
that's what I'm doing with this,capturing those important
experiences about I'm kind ofrevisiting my past and the been
(17:02):
on the conversations I've hadwith some of the people that
I've met.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
They truly, you know,
like morgan, sitting in any
classroom or watching anydocumentary, that was the this
person I never thought I'd talkto years.
We're in the same place that weI never thought I'd be with in
a million years and theconnection we have solely in the
conversation has changed myworld.
Because there are a hundredpeople in this building and the
(17:31):
most opposite of what I thoughtis intense is two weeks and that
completely changed and that'skind of what sent me spiraling
off on this journey.
And then the recording it part.
This is just like a bonus thatI get to give people.
You know, like, yeah, I got theexperience.
I get the experience being withyou and being here in this
(17:52):
wonderful place, but now otherpeople know why it's special and
, who knows, they'll be watchingand be like I want to go there.
That's where my peace is, that'swhere I plan.
Maybe I want to meet her, maybethere's something pulling into
a tree.
You know, um, we'll get intothe yoga.
So I'm so happy about um, likewe got to do this yesterday.
(18:14):
I want the the tradition ofdoing yoga with it's my yeah,
that's that's what I've beentrying in my whole life is like
I don't need my own additionsyou know traveling so much,
making my own family as well.
Like I want to share what Ihave.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
That I do.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Traditions are so
important I lost my question,
but uh okay, um.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
So you know you said
you wanted to talk about yoga, I
know, but I first I want to goback to what you were saying
about how you're doing basicallywhat I was talking about in the
journaling, with the travelingyou're doing, and I'm journaling
too so I can share it.
Only, I'm writing a book and Ihaven't.
I've written more one, but Ihaven't published yet because
(19:04):
I'm hoarding it right now, um.
But the, the sharing of ourhuman experiences, is something
we all can do uniquely in ourown way, um, and that can help
connect people in such a waythat is so very much needed.
I mean, it has been needed inall in time, right, but I feel
(19:26):
like even more right now forkids coming up.
You know I didn't have a cellphone when I was coming up as a
kid, and so now things aredifferent.
But, going into the, I guessthat you said you want to talk
about yoga.
That's another thing that Ilove to share.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
We could call yoga
for a sec, just because that's
in me, the, the Recording theexperience.
And it was, um, sorry D, welost it.
Uh, oh, traveling, traveling,oh, um, your book, um, I'm so
(20:16):
excited to hear that this isnews to me.
I'm just finding out, uh, what?
When did you decide you'regonna share your experiences in
this way?
Speaker 2 (20:28):
uh, four, five years
ago I decided because people
kept asking me when I say people, you know I don't like to
categorize a whole groups ofpeople into one, so when I
really say people, it's, it'smostly people that haven't done
a lot of international travel uh, that they look at what I've
(20:48):
done and if they see it onFacebook or whatever, and they
think that I've somehow havebeen like hired by national
geographic and that I must bemade of money, right, because
I'm doing all these things.
And so they would ask me like,how, like, how did you do that?
Or they'd say, you know, well,if, if only I had the time, if
only I had the money, if only Iwasn't scared, if I only.
(21:11):
And so the reason why to writethat book was to show people
like it's not about the money,it is about the time, and it
most definitely is about gettingout of your comfort zone.
Otherwise, why travel?
So that I it's.
You know, my first book that Iwrote is travel store travel
(21:34):
stories, but more interpersonalstories about people's lives,
especially in Uganda, inGuatemala and Honduras,
nicaragua, mexico I feel likeI'm forgetting.
I mean parts of Europe, bosnia,you know.
(21:55):
So I went to.
I went to the places that Iwent to.
Yeah, I do would love to gothere, but first I'm going to go
to, like you know, somewhereeasy.
You know, maybe I'll go toParis, or yeah, yeah so that's
(22:17):
traveling is.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
I've been doing it
since I was a child.
It's been every summer of mylife, approaching and telling us
it is.
You know the experiences thatmaybe, when it comes to that
(22:39):
being a part of a tabloid andjust getting those experiences
in other places, yeah, being anopen person in an open book, and
then when people are like, hey,how did you?
By the way, I think it's anamazing idea for both of you.
I don't know how many people,especially the last couple of
years, I've lived in moresmaller towns than you used to
(23:01):
and people say a lot of the time, the money you know a lot of it
is sacrifice.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Yeah, it's been
sacrificed a lot of shit here.
Yes, you are.
You know that strain inrelationships.
Yes, like if you're gone a lot,lot, what type of work are you
going to work for that?
You know they're going to beokay with being gone all the
time.
You know I'm in differentthings, so I'm I'm really pumped
that yeah, there's a lot ofsacrifices, you're right.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
that's, that's the
foundation for it.
Because at work I most any jobwill, from my experience will
let you take that topic off.
If you work your ass off Right,if you do all that you can for
your employer and they know thatyou're invested, I mean they're
(23:53):
not going to want they wouldn't.
I don't think it'd been coolfor me to come up and say to
them if I was a slacker and notshowing up to work, I don't
think that they would be like,yeah, totally, we think your
mission project's great.
Like go be gone for a month.
You know we'll support you.
Why would they, you know?
But if they know that when I'mcoming back I'm gonna invest
that same amount of energy youknow into you know?
(24:15):
And there was one job that Ididn't think they were going to
allow me to go.
So I submitted an applicationto the Peace Corps and once I
got through the first round, Iwent to my boss and I said, okay
, I got this here, peace Corps,we're going to take off and do
it, unless you tell me that I'mgoing to be able to get up to a
(24:38):
month every year unpaid, youknow.
Or two weeks unpaid and thentwo weeks paid leave, because I
still got to spend time with myfamily.
And if you're going to do that,then I'm going to stick around
and I'm going to plan to stickaround, otherwise, peace out.
I'm going to sign up with anorganization that.
Lets me do it.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
That's amazing.
What do you think in your lifehappened that gave you the voice
to be able to go to a boss?
Do you guys trust?
Yeah, I would say it would be avery low percentile to have Not
(25:20):
for it.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Audacity, audacity to
want for yourself.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
It's like, we're
different.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Can't rule that.
You know the deal with my dad,like showing up in front of and
even though when I was a kidlike I didn't know how to handle
that, well, I've got tons ofresilience now.
So sometimes things that happenin our past they seem like
really hard and you know it'slike that.
(25:49):
That wasn't cool, but actuallyit makes you who you are and you
can draw on those reserves whenyou most need.
Them 're there and yeah.
So I'm like that's who I am isbecause of hardships you know
that's, that's that to me.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
You know I've had one
of the amazing, uh, good and
bad, but we hope, because I alsounderstand, like, when you put
it that way, the reserve tank,that's a real thing.
Oh my god, there's so much hellthat when I'm going through
(26:31):
hell I know I got blood after metank because I've already been
through it.
You know the radar, it starts athing for cursing us, it's a
thing for person requests.
That's important informationfor people.
So, yeah, anybody out there, wecan pull those things at you.
If you've been through it, youcan do it.
Called times, part ships,quarry factors.
(26:52):
We've done this in 18th century.
Well, that's called turning itaround.
We've done the same thing.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
That way, that's good
stuff.
Well, that's called turning itaround.
Byron Katie, you know she's gotthe turnaround, the five
questions, but it's a little bitdifferent for me.
When I went through the yogateacher training, we did, okay,
what's your edge?
Like you know.
Go back, like, how did you getto be where you are?
There's the whole big longexercise and then, uh, on the
(27:21):
other side, how is that comingout then, for how you're showing
up?
And is it true?
And if you continue to show upthat way, what's going to happen
?
And then look at you know, whenpeople tell you really great
things about yourself, when youfeel in these moments that it's
(27:42):
just everything is aligned andyou don't know why, you can't
even explain why, and somebodysays, wow, you're glowing, or or
like that really made adifference for me.
That's when you start to youknow, after you go through all
this happened, happened,happened, here I am, and if I
keep doing it, this is going tohappen.
Then you go to the light.
What is that the people see inyou that you know is there, and
(28:05):
it shows up.
And that is what has basically,I think, made you uniquely able
to show up in the world in away that is needed by you know,
by other people, because of whatyou went through, your journey,
the hero's journey.
It goes like it goes, you know,in a path and then on the other
(28:27):
side it gives you what you,your gifts, yeah um is um.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Is it pre-determined
for us?
Is our path like where you'reat right now?
Do you think these things arealigning?
I need some more.
Was it always destiny for youto write it?
Did you just say?
Speaker 2 (28:55):
I think anything that
feels like it's destiny is
destiny.
Anything that feels likedestiny is destiny.
Anything that feels like it'snot.
If there's an amount ofdiscomfort there that just
doesn't sit right with you, thenthat's telling you it's not
aligned.
So that's the only way that Iknow.
I mean, because really none ofus knows for sure what happened
(29:18):
before and what will happenafter.
Um, but I think the way that wefeel is how is where?
Our knowing is whether it'sdestiny or not, or whether it's
the opposite.
So in yoga it's called Dharma.
You know your purpose, yourduty, and then anything that is
not that is a dharma.
(29:39):
The opposite, and it will tellyou something's wrong.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Yeah, um, when you
are getting those feelings of
this isn't sitting right or thismay not be correct, or um, do
you act upon it right away, justimmediately, or um?
Speaker 2 (30:00):
you know I can't.
I can't do it because I'm goingto question myself.
That in human nature right toquestion before acting
immediately.
You know I wish that I couldand there's some people that I
think can act.
You know I wish that I couldand there's some people that I
think can act.
You know, very quickly on that.
But for me, I want to make surethat I'm not acting out of
(30:25):
emotion.
I want to make sure I want toget real clear with myself and
find out what was the cause ofmy reaction with that.
Because if I can say, yeah, mymy negative reaction with that
was having to do with the wholething or just part of the
details, then I have to, then Ihave to look closer at those
(30:46):
details.
Well, maybe the details iswhat's trying to tell me.
It's not exactly aligned, youknow, maybe it's not the big
thing.
So I, I spend my time, um,considering, oh, and if I don't
know for sure, if I don't have asolid knowing, then I will wait
and let things show me andpeople will show you, things
(31:06):
will show you, time will showyou.
Then you don't have to secondguess.
You're like, oh yeah, I gaveenough time, yeah it's so true,
you know.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
Uh, at the end I mean
worth.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
We spoke about the
point of novena singing, maybe
even my, that means myhandwriting's turd oh, okay,
with not understanding the theyeah, I think, yeah, probably
the more, the especially theolder I've got and I think
mainly it's not so much age, asit is for me, my stubbornness,
(31:45):
because I know a lot of youngerpeople that already understand
this, but I didn't.
I thought that if I couldcontrol things right, I could
learn and I could experiencethings and I could figure
everything out, because that wasmy mo.
You know, that's how I gotthrough.
But then, as I got older, Irealized that there's I I know a
(32:09):
lot, but conceptual knowledgeis not the same as knowing, and
knowing on a deeper level isreally what I want.
But I also love to learn.
But then this surrender ofknowing that I do not know,
especially when it comes toother people, when it comes to
(32:31):
why people are doing whatthey're doing and the bigger
picture, there's a lot that Idon't know and and I'm and I've
there's a there's acontentedness in that, because
if I want to find out more, thenthat's telling me to go and be,
have, have a lived experiencewith that.
(32:54):
Because if I'm judging or ifI'm trying to figure out how to
know and control a situationthat's not one to control, then
then it's an opportunity tolearn, or it's an opportunity to
just surrender and say you know, I don't know too easy.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Um question, brandon,
um, your day 24-hour picture.
I know you get to bed early.
He had a pie chart.
I want you to do a lotPercentages.
What does it go to Like for me?
(33:30):
Learning, learning, studying?
I have an audiobooks podcast.
That's a good 15% every day.
That's like a pillow right.
That's my mindfulness.
A lot of it happens there.
That's my church.
You know one that's at it, uh,and then I try to be outdoors.
And so now you're into a day,especially with the weather, men
(33:52):
, some, what does it hurt?
A lot of your time.
What does it go through?
Speaker 2 (33:56):
introduction so nine
hours out of the day.
So what is that?
That's more than that's like 35percent.
Right, it goes to workingbefore, yeah, for for the
government, um, I, I, the jobthat I do there, which involves
a lot of learning, otherwise Icouldn't do it, I but I.
(34:19):
But I love to learn, so itgives me an opportunity to do
that, and I work with people allaround, you know the United
States and the world, so thatalso keeps me engaged and the
other, so I still have time tosleep, right, so I tried to
sleep eight hours every day.
Now there's another 30, so I'mleft with what?
(34:40):
65, left with 35 percent, um,I'd say 10 percent of that is
wasted, like what I mean byletting myself just like, if I
want to watch a show, like I'mgoing to watch a show, or if I
(35:01):
want to scroll on my phone.
You know I'm going to do thosethings and I actually it
shouldn't probably be 10% of myday, but some and some days it's
not.
But also, I'm not going to beatmyself up for being human.
Now.
The rest of my day is is eithergoing to be spent, you know,
(35:22):
with family, um, if they're, youknow, if my husband around or
if, uh, you know, kids arearound or other family, but a
lot of times it is focused innature.
It's in doing yoga practice,it's in podcasts, it's in
(35:44):
reading.
I do, you know, go, you know,look at with the elk out here.
That's all around.
You know, we spend time doingthat and it didn't used to be a
requirement for me and and it'sit didn't used to be a
requirement for me I used to letthat 10 percent of wasted time
be, like my 35 percent.
(36:05):
So me carving out that 20, Ithink 25 percent of time, um, to
be what?
To be involved, engaged withwhat I consider to be self-care,
which also includes family,which includes that really
important time where you're withsomeone and not just, not just
(36:26):
in the same room.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, sharing them all.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Yeah, and taking care
of my body, like the older you
get, is just non-negotiable.
But, and I love to do yoga.
And if I don't do yoga, youknow, for a couple of days I
notice myself becoming um,harder on myself, harder on
people.
You know that I love um, I, youknow I'll, maybe I'll want to
respond on social media and belike, no, no like, and then I
(36:53):
realize, oh, okay, okay, get getyour mat out, because for me
this is not the way that that'sit, um.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
what would you tell
yourself on 18 old self, 16 old
self somewhere around you?
You're, you're at that age,you've gone through life and
experience what you'veexperienced, what are?
What is some advice you'd giveyourself to get you prepared for
(37:23):
what's ahead and knowing whatwe know now?
Speaker 2 (37:32):
You're going to
suffer, you're going to have
some things that come up andyou're going to think that you
know, you know you don't deserveit, or you, you, or maybe you
you're flame, um, you're goingto think that maybe you won't
make it.
Um, to the other side.
(37:53):
And though that's part of life,um and the the important thing
to know is, on the other side ofthat, the lesson, or the, the
growth that occurs from that isso astronomical that you will,
10 years later, say, oh, thanks,like that was awesome, I'm, I'm
(38:16):
, it was really hard, but also,it's what I can, what I can
point to and say that's why Idid what I did, so that
everything is temporary.
Everything is temporary.
You know, we go through cyclesand life cycles of creativity,
cycles of rest, cycles ofwanting to learn, cycles of
wanting to hibernate, and it's'sand it literally it's all
(38:40):
cycles, and what you will gainin your life, I mean you just
keep showing up, on the daysthat you can show up, no one
will ever be able to explain toyou how amazing it's going to be
.
You, there aren't words for it,and and so I don't know how I
would explain that to my youngerself, because I thought that at
(39:03):
that age I would have been ableto put details around it, like
maybe it looks like this job orthis house or this thing, and
it's not those things, it'sundefinable.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
I mean, that's where
the advice sort of you know.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
I know it's not
really to the point do yoga.
How about that?
How about start doing yoga alot earlier 16, 18 year old self
and you'll be able to not wreckyour body with all your stress
and maybe you won't, you knowhave some of the other, you know
issues that you are going tocome up against it changes my
opinion yeah and especially youknow alpha.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
You know you're in
the military.
You understand I took it tojust the doggy doll world and
you know what I mean.
And so if you're a guy, you'redoing yoga instead of squatting
for unknown it.
But I never cared about thingslike you know, like once I
realized that we're not in thisstruggle and your body can only
(40:08):
take so much.
You know you gotta startalleviating this person.
It was.
It changed my life.
You know you have to reallychange the life and that's why I
look forward so much to doingthings like this.
True, and now I get to instillit in my daughter and my son.
You know they like it, theyenjoy doing it, you know, and
(40:28):
that's why it's good advice.
You would have told yourselfthat Now I get to give it to my
kids.
Can we do a couple morequestions, okay?
Yeah, uh we do a couple morequestions, okay.
Yeah, um, I want to know the,uh, your traits, your parents,
that you stand on when you wakeup, uh, the morning, or every
(40:49):
morning, we get out of bed andyou know what you have to do.
What are the?
What are those, those thingsthat actually give you that fire
to pursue us?
What are?
Let me calculate that.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
And I'm wireless, so
we're still.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
Okay, okay.
So I actually have a, astatement that I wrote for
myself a few days or a few fewyears ago, um, and I can't
remember exactly.
It's one sentence, um, sentencethat kind of defines that.
It shows me, it puts into wordswhat that loving myself and
(41:49):
everything else is details.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
Everything else
details, loving yourself, so, so
, so, so important.
I think that is a crucial partof, like everybody's journey um,
you know, growing yeah theperson you're supposed to become
.
You know um it sounded.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
It's not an easy
thing to do, you know, and uh
yeah oh, I was just gonna sayit's really it's easier to try
to love someone else and letthem fill up what you don't, we
don't, feel in yourself, andit's.
But it's easier in the shortrun, it's not easier in the long
run.
(42:30):
So when I say, like my firstand foremost thing, I know that
I have to love myself so that Ican show up in loving
relationships with the peoplethat I love, because that's
that's gonna happen regardless.
I'm gonna love, you know, I'mjust gonna.
I'm gonna love my family, butif I don't love myself, then I'm
not gonna be able to show themin the way that I really want to
(42:53):
that's amazing, so true.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
So fighters dude, I'm
old you know I got day over
hurry oh yeah, I'm gonna own it,55 and happy to be alive, so um
I, um, I I'm gonna do parkingstill, but but I just want to
(43:20):
say thank you for doing this.
Seriously, I went through someof the hardest times of my life
and I reached out to you while Iwas there.
I kind of briefly explainedsome stuff yesterday, not in
detail, but it is so importantto um to reach out and, you know
(43:45):
, like just knowing thatsomebody's there that actually
does care, it means every.
You know it's.
It's easy to feel alone in thisworld, you know, and uh, I chose
a path where I wasn't going tobe able to see my kids every
single day and when I got out ofthe military and she was still
(44:09):
in, was moving, kind of followedand did that and I was.
I never put roots down in aplace, you know, down in a place
.
And now, and uh, I chose tostay in montana because I knew
eventually they'd be there, comea time and an age where they
understand things more.
You go, well, I have twoawesome worlds that you know.
(44:30):
I'm here in this beautifulplace, uh, and then in montana
with my dad and it's I don'tknow.
I just felt very blessed, Iguess.
But also, we throw it around.
Everything happened for areason type of thing Like
there's no way.
When I was going throughAirbnbs and looking and doing
(44:53):
all the things.
And actually that's a part ofwhat I was going to do At that
time.
I was struggling very hard andI was going through a lot of
things and sometimes when I gettunnel vision, when something on
a task, you know, like I can'tcompletely forget the rest of
(45:14):
the things that are going on,when things be burning down and
we don't even know or I don'teven know until I make it at the
end, and then you look back andyou're like, oh, there's a
trail and yeah.
But during that that period oftime I felt that like I was
losing my clothes.
You know, like not that theywere going to get taken from me
(45:36):
or anything like that, but Ididn't have the relationship I
wanted, you know, at the time.
So I sacrificed a lot of ship, Iuh, to get here and and um, and
just going through everythinglast minute I had like riddled
to no money left in my accountand I was just on air because,
like, I have to do this, I hadto do this and it ended up being
(45:58):
this place.
And you were so sweet and youtalked to me the whole time.
Well, we don't have wi-fi, sothe kids, you know I'm sorry,
but it's gonna be a great time.
We do have wi-fi now?
yes, mr arlen, yeah, yeah, it'sjust it could have been, we
could have been a a milliondifferent scenarios, but we said
(46:20):
it was here in this place,which is a very place.
Know, I talked about traditionsand stuff.
So, like this place is like atradition, you know, like doing
yoga with you here I don't livehere full-time Like this is so
special, so I just I thought Iwanted to tell you that, yeah,
(46:44):
that was another thing I can say.
But yeah, everything happensfor a reason it does.
Speaker 2 (46:51):
That's why we're here
doing this and that's why, uh,
yeah, yeah, and you know whatyou said about, like, the
connection.
It's so important to reach outto someone and to have um, to
have somebody.
You know a lot of people reallydon't.
You know they are they, they do, but maybe they don't see or
feel like those are the peoplethat are the ones for them right
now.
So, and then you talk abouttiming, um, and, and no
(47:15):
coincidences, that that weekendthat you came was also, uh, a
workshop that I was having.
You know, I have retreats andworkshops over there and there
were 17 people there, uh, allyou know just the three-part
series, and they were.
We're all working in Ayurveda,which is part, you know, sister
(47:36):
science of yoga, and it's allpeople drawn there because
they're trying to do the bestthat came in their life and they
see that there's some areasthat that are not working, so
they're looking for other waysto approach it, because some of
the things that we've been toldjust don't freaking work like
you can beat your head againstthe wall because it says that
(47:57):
this is, you know, this is arecommended way to fix this and
it doesn't work for you, um, andso when you showed up that
weekend having that, there's 17other people to bring that into
connection.
Sometimes you don't even knowhow you're going to get that
connection.
You just make the step and theconnection shows up for what you
need.
Because when you have that manypeople in a room, all really
(48:21):
intentionally, uh, you know,putting putting the work in,
then everybody benefits from itand you don't know what someone
might have needed that youbrought and you didn't even say
anything to them.
So the collection of energy iswhat makes it expand to a point
(48:42):
where you can just be like, yeah, this was amazing, and I can't
really say why, because therearen't any words for that either
.
You know, yeah, amazing, and Ican't really say why, because
there aren't any words for thateither.
Speaker 1 (48:52):
You know, yeah, that
is so true that that day we did
yoga in the cart two days thatthat.
Oh sorry, that non-profit thatdoes that.
That um this oh sorry, thatnonprofit that that does that.
Are you involved?
Speaker 2 (49:13):
Yeah, yeah.
So I, I, I founded thatnonprofit.
I used to have a studio inJunction City for four years and
then, um, after COVID, thingsjust got really hard and and so
I closed down with the intent toopen up a nonprofit, primarily
because if I, if any of us, everwant to establish a foothold
(49:37):
for good, we have to bring otherpeople in, because if we're the
ones doing it all, then we'regoing to miss the wider reach,
because I'm not everybody's, youknow, cup of tea and I also
can't see everything from allangles.
So I I recognize that I wantedto continue to offer this.
(49:58):
It was important, but not underthe same terms where I was the
one feeding my ego.
I wanted to make it more, big,bigger, big, bigger, different,
like let someone else tell mewell, this is what I think we
should do so that it stays, sothat it lasts, so that it grows.
(50:19):
Yeah, and then, plus, I did alot of, I did a lot of um things
in other countries where I kindof learned, like didn't, kind
of I definitely learned how mybest intentions can really just
get wrecked, um, because youdon't know what you don't know
until you're in in that nextstep.
(50:40):
And so I learned.
I learned a lot about humilityand I learned a lot about um,
about how I wanted to approachthe nonprofit.
So, and I do have those booksto give you if you, if you want
them, okay, yeah well, the lastcame.
Speaker 1 (50:57):
What a questions on.
You've traveled everywhere,you've been so many places.
What's one place that youconsider?
You close your eyes, you goback to a place in the moment.
That's special.
That probably did a true,special pet a similar heart.
What this is about.
Speaker 2 (51:18):
Lake Adelan in
Guatemala.
It's a place.
I guess when you talk about aplace, the feeling of home, you
know it feels like as soon as Iget there, all of the
superficial stuff that I've beencarrying around, including some
(51:39):
of the stress that I just liketo stress about it, doesn't
really help.
I just like to go back andforth with it.
You know, like that just leads,like it's it.
I've been there for 12, 13.
I don't know how many timesI've been there a lot of times,
and it's, it's magic.
I think there's seven volcanoesthat surround this lake.
(52:01):
That's a thousand feet or no, amile deep.
It's a mile deep and surroundedby Mayan villages that have
five different languages, andthere aren't even Spanish, and
then there's Spanish too, butit's also like a vortex.
Where I go is kind of like avortex.
There's a lot of people fromaround the world that get the
(52:23):
same thing that I get when I getthere, and they and they drop
their backpack and they end upstaying for a long time, and so
there's a community of peoplethat have all different kinds of
healing, uh versions right ofwhat they're good at.
They're bringing their uniquething there.
So, and plus, the food is great, because I mean that's there
(52:46):
too.
Like I can get ghee, I can alsoget like vegan things and lots
of vegetables.
Speaker 1 (52:53):
How does it make you
kind of like, let's go with, can
you?
What is, what is, what is beingthe true end map to you?
What does that entail?
I guess the term is thrownaround a lot and at the point
(53:15):
where I'm at in my life there'sno way I keep going.
Just by the way I began to justloss.
You know the loss of the humanconnection, the soul.
You know the detachment part.
I've never dealt with that wellat all.
I feel like just worse thanother people, for some reason.
(53:37):
Sensitive.
I can't hide what's on here.
I wear everything on here.
I believe you share a lot ofthat for characteristics.
On hanging a drum, my questionthere's about empath.
Speaker 2 (53:54):
What did I think
about?
Speaker 1 (53:56):
I would say, yeah,
what?
What is it to?
To be a true empath, you know?
Speaker 2 (54:04):
nobody's ever asked
me that it's a good question.
I, you know my thoughts on thathave changed throughout the
years and especially with thepractice of yoga and the chakra
system, enneagram, all of thosedifferent ways that I've kind of
traveled through.
I believe that we all areempaths, because a human is
(54:28):
meant to feel another humanwhich is meant to Like.
If we don't have that, thenit's going to feel like
something is wrong.
But how we react to that, howwhat we do with it.
So what are our thoughts, ouractions, um, then that come out
(54:48):
of that feeling is, um, I think,that people that uh, really
truly, you know, empathetic inthere, in that place where they
can feel, have a really goodidea on what they can do to make
a difference, because they'refeeling it at a at a very deep
(55:12):
level.
And that's how you get to knowanything.
You don't ever get to reallyknow anything on a superficial
level, but it's hard, becauseI've been shut down for a couple
of days, honestly, with a lotof things in the world, but
these, you know, israel andPalestine, things that are
happening over there.
(55:34):
I've traveled enough to knowthat this is not the first time
and people have been hurt in alot of ways over the years, not
just there in a lot of is, butit's on the news.
So when I learn about anythingI don't go to you know anger
about well, this person did thatand this person I go to kind of
(55:57):
anger with myself about.
I want to help and I don't knowhow, and so then it just shuts
me down and I feel like I'malmost depressed for like a day
or two or something, until I canlet that work itself through so
that I can figure out what canI do with what I have, right
where I am, that I can use thisBecause you have to use it.
(56:21):
If you are in empath mode andyou're letting yourself feel all
the feelings you have to turninto actions, otherwise I don't
know how you can continue.
Speaker 1 (56:34):
Yeah, it's too hard
you know, that's where it feels
like it's yeah, um, that's avery good um, it's um, this
would be like a kind of agoodbye situation, um, if you
want to tell people out there,um, if they have the question of
like, hey, how do I get startedon finding my dreams, my
(56:59):
purpose, my happiness?
Um, the world is a veryoverwhelming place and there's
so many different things goingon.
It's hard to even know who youare.
To stay true to yourself, youknow we have, yeah, everything.
People are pulling you adifferent direction.
Um, what, what was?
What is some advice you give tosomebody to start that journey?
Speaker 2 (57:23):
yeah.
So, all of that being very true, um, if you can find someone
who will ask you questions andnot give you the answers to what
they think you should do, ifyou can find someone who will
(57:45):
listen so that you can spendtime talking it through, so that
you can spend time kind ofmaking mistakes and then still
coming back and, you know, kindof like a mentor but not really
Like it can be any sort of Imean Alcoholics Anonymous, like
that type of thing exists there,right In the yoga community.
(58:10):
That exists.
You know, it's not aprescription, it's like here,
let me just you be you and Ijust want to be here so that you
have something to reflect offof because you have the answer.
And let me just be a mirror Ifyou can't get that, because not
everyone can, where they are.
You know there are onlinecommunities, but you might have
(58:35):
to go through 10 or 12 beforeyou realize you actually ended
up in one that's going to workfor you.
So the other thing is to do theself-reflection from various
books.
You know I mentioned ByronKatie.
I think that that's a reallygood one.
Um, I'm I'm trying to, uh,there's, there's so many um, and
(59:00):
maybe I could give you a listof books and then you could put
it on the, on the thing yeah, sothat will help you do the
self-reflection.
But self-reflection in itselfis going to be cognitive.
Even though there will be somefeeling, it's still words on a
page.
So then you have to dosomething with that.
There needs to be okay.
(59:21):
Here I made this self-reflection.
That makes total sense.
Okay, what's my action point?
And then be patient withyourself, because going out into
the world with that is whatwill help.
So those two things eitherfinding that community or that
person that doesn't say, well, Ithink you're just wasting your
(59:44):
life or I think you're crazy.
Maybe you should just try thisother path.
That's not the person you'relooking for.
No, no, no.
I mean, they're helpful,they're trying to help you, but
that's not how you're going toget on your path.
So, and the other way is to goto, to go inside, and I think
going inside without someoneelse is a harder way to do it,
(01:00:04):
but it's totally possible,because there's so many wisdom
teachers in the world that haveput out amazing uh works for us
to do that work, and withourselves that that last whole
part was, uh, the type ofinformation that I had been
searching for the past a while,looking inside myself to figure
(01:00:27):
out.
Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
Why have I always
felt different?
Why I always felt like this?
You know my existence, so itall makes sense why we're there
being going on first foreverything, for me, one of the
sweetest souls that were met,thank you for letting me to
frame my life on here and sharethis amazing place, uh, with the
(01:00:54):
amazing energy that was here,um, do you have any last
thoughts, reflections, anythingyou'd like to say before we go?
Speaker 2 (01:01:01):
yeah, you are so
awesome, aren't you?
I am so glad and your kids likeyeah, I was so excited, you
know to.
Yeah, so thank you for comingagain and for being the one to
actually reach out to me,because I think I explained to
you I want to reach out andthat's one of the things that I
(01:01:25):
struggle with, Um, so so youmade the difference right and
thank you for that.
And this here we, yeah, please,you know, come, stay at the
Airbnb Super cool, um to meetpeople that come.
There's a lot of writers thatcome here to this particular
place for for writing retreat,but then also like the other
(01:01:47):
place over there and the resort,you know, in Kansas, in the
middle of the United States.
It's like really, and you gethere and can't really explain it
, but it's definitely worthworth the trip for a lot of
different reasons, especially ifyou like nature and and hiking
and and and like you're notgoing to meet people that you
(01:02:11):
connect and bond with byaccident here, because we're
very polite as a population.
So when someone says, how areyou doing, the answer is I'm
fine.
So in any sort of politesociety, that's well and good,
but you have to get into thecorners and the crevices and get
(01:02:31):
into the haylofts.
You get into those places wherethere are the people that when
you say how are you, they'll say, damn, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (01:02:48):
Everything you said
is the truthuce.
Yeah, this is a little gen gotin the united states, a year old
gen you, and it's wonderful,awesome, um.
So, yeah, I'll tell anybody, um, I'll put the information out
there.
But, uh, if you want a littlegetaway um, some peace and
solitude, you're gonna by someof the most majestic, beautiful
(01:03:10):
creatures ever created.
Then please come check thisplace out while you're out there
.
Yeah, charmaine, thank you somuch thank you, thank you, thank
you we're going to do thisagain and I hope you feel good.
Give me a hug.
We're going to do this again,full, full.
(01:03:31):
Thank you, hello.
I hope you're full.
I hope you're full.
You're going to do good thingson my path to try and do what's
saying.
Thank you everybody for tuningin.
Yeah, we got a whole hour,perfect, all right, bye.