December 15, 2024 • 59 mins
Episode 17: "The little pieces"
Jorge Pantoja, 33
Grand Junction, Co
Meet Jorge Pantoja, A young man from Mexico, who is also my Lyft driver (2nd one I've interviewed on the podcast) whose journey from Palacio Durango to Grand Junction, Colorado, is nothing short of inspiring.
In this episode of Hanging with Humans, Jorge takes us through the pivotal moments of his childhood, the crucial decisions that kept him on a path away from drugs, and how mental preparedness played a vital role in his resilience. His story is a compelling reminder of how our environment and the choices we make can impact our personal growth and opportunities.
Once in Grand Junction, Jorge faced the formidable challenges of adapting to a new culture and language. Determined to create a better life, he overcame language barriers with the encouragement of a local farmer and went back to school to learn English, eventually enrolling in college. Jorge's journey to land ownership is fueled by a deep connection to his family and their history with tree farming. His experiences shed light on the importance of adaptability and the relentless pursuit of new opportunities, proving that change can indeed lead to empowerment and personal fulfillment.
The conversation takes a heartfelt turn as Jorge shares his transformative journey with therapy and mental health. We explore the cultural taboos that often prevent men from seeking help and how Jorge's initial skepticism turned into a profound appreciation for open communication. We also discuss the societal issues facing Grand Junction, such as high suicide rates and homelessness, while reflecting on the hidden value and unique qualities of smaller towns. Through Jorge's story, we emphasize the importance of embracing vulnerability, making choices, and finding happiness in life's journey, whether in the bustling cities or the serene landscapes of Grand Junction.
I just wanted to say thanks so much to Jorge for taking the time out of his busy life to do this podcast with me. We just met and had a very short window to make this happen. But next day, first thing in the a.m. Jorge showed up excited and ready to have a conversation on important topics that are very prevalent in today's climate.
The conversation on "Therapy" i think is explained in a very digestible manner.
I found a lot of inspiration in this episode, I hope you can find something as well.
Thanks so much for listening everyone, I appreciate all of yalls. <3
got a few more on the way before the new year.
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In honor of those who served our country. During times of peace and war. Those who gave the supreme sacrifice, Those still missing and those who came home both whole and broken.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to Hanging with Humans podcast.
It's me RJ.
I'm back.
I'm with my new homie, jorge.
What's up, dog?
How are you doing?
I'm?
Speaker 2 (00:07):
good, how are you dude?
Speaker 1 (00:09):
So, jorge, what's your last name?
Jorge Pantoja Pantoja.
Jorge, I met yesterday.
He was my lift driver and itwas only like a five-minute
drive, but in that five minuteswe had a lot of conversation on
(00:33):
a lot of important topics thatare going on in the world today,
and we spoke a little bit alittle while ago and I think we
have a lot of awesomeinformation that uh will be
released to you later.
And, um, so I'm really excitedto to get Jorge's story.
Um, he's from Mexico.
(00:53):
Uh, I've had some other peopletalk about immigration and stuff
on the podcast, so that's verycool.
Uh, I'm in Grand Junction,colorado, right now getting a
tattoo done by one of my goodfriends, autumn, and so that's
why I got this all on me rightnow.
But before I go do that, I'mgoing to talk to Jorge.
So, jorge, how are you doingtoday?
Bro?
I'm doing good man, good man.
(01:14):
So I want to start with how oldare you?
33.
33?
And you were born in Mexico.
I was born and raised in Mexico.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Yeah, what part.
Como es Palacio Durango?
It's kind of dead in the middle.
Dead in the middle.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Yeah, flat, hot, flat and hot.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Awesome.
So a little bit, what we dowith the podcast is showing
people how, uh, other peoplegrow up and things they've gone
through, to kind of help themlay out a map to how to do or
don't do things.
You know, because I think weall go through a lot of the same
issues and uh, even just ustalking today and yesterday, I
(01:58):
can already tell like a lot ofsimilarities.
Um, you're a very well-traveledperson as well.
Um, so, yeah, I have a lot ofawesome questions to get started
with.
But so Mexico, we were talkingabout your childhood and how you
had a group of friends that youhad watched them kind of get
(02:20):
into drugs, or you guys were allin the same group.
You had a a chance to to go oneway or another and you chose to
to not do the drugs becauseyou've seen the lives getting
ruined and everything.
Can you kind of like paint me apicture of, like what childhood
looks like for you in Mexico atthat time?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
yeah, so I mean it was, it was back.
You know, we were probably like10 or 12.
And there was a lot of kids inthe same neighborhood about the
same age and we, after school,would hang out, play soccer,
like on the street.
That's kind of how our life was, you know, 20 years ago.
But yeah, that's kind of how wegot started and you know we
(03:02):
would play random games afterplaying soccer too.
We got started and you knowwe'll play random games after.
After playing soccer too.
We'll sit, you know, um, youknow, by the house and just talk
about you know whatever, uh,just come up with stories or how
life was going for for all ofus.
And yeah, I mean it got to thepoint that you know we started
hanging out with, with olderguys and you know, they inviting
(03:24):
us to like just do differentshit.
And at some point, you know, weall got introduced to drugs,
mainly weed and coke.
And you know, like there was,there was, a group of us that
were not really into it or wedidn't have the, the interest, I
guess, to find out more aboutit, and some did.
Later on we realized that youknow, uh, the interest, I guess,
(03:45):
to find out more about it, andsome did.
Uh, later on we realized that,you know, like the, the path
that they got on was not thegreatest, and you know, some of
them drop out of school.
You know like they just didn'tpursue anything.
That you know, like that therest of us did and I'm not
saying that you know we'rebetter than them in any way,
shape or form.
Uh, it was just a decision thatwe made at a really early age
and it, you know we're betterthan them in any way, shape or
form.
Uh, it was just a decision thatwe made at a really early age
(04:08):
and it, you know, like, we lookback and the, the ones that
didn't do drugs back then, um,you know, just just got into
work or they kept studying.
You know, like not, because theneighborhood we grew up in had
this stigma.
That you know like I think Ithink that the top tier was to
(04:33):
finish high school.
You know like I don't think backthen anybody really talked
about college or a career or youknow, like anything like that
beyond, beyond high school, uh,but some of these friends, you
know that that drop out ofschool.
I mean, we're talking, you knowsixth grade, you know fifth
grade and yeah, I mean justtrying, just trying to do
(04:53):
different things at the time,just trying to be independent,
um, explore the world.
I guess that's that's how somepeople uh looked at it and we
just didn't have that pressureor that we didn't want to just
do things too early.
I guess for us, yeah, yeah,it's not that you'll get.
(05:16):
You know there's just one timeyou get exposed to drugs or you
know like you get this exposureor invitation to try different
things.
I've seen it throughout, knowthroughout my life, but it's
always.
It's always where you are andhow prepared you are mentally
for you know to say no and youknow I I guess some, some of
(05:39):
them, did it because of you knowhow their lives were at the
time.
You know they probably hadstruggles, that it was an easy
exit for them to just forgetabout him, or at least for a
moment, and unfortunately itchanged their lives and I think
(05:59):
some of them blamed thosedecisions, blamed their lives on
those decisions.
You know, like, based on thisdecision, this is where I'm at
today.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Yeah, when they, they had the chance to probably, you
know, make a u-turn in life andand still have enough time but
how much did uh parents role payplay in like guidance or
shaping you know, like to foryou to not go that route but
others did like.
Do you think family dynamic hassomething to do with that?
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Personally I think it did.
Yeah, you know, in, in my, inmy household, mom was really
strict and you know she, sheliked discipline, you know more
than anything.
Yeah, yeah, my dad, my dad hasalways, you know, loved beer,
but I mean nothing else.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Nothing else yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Nothing else.
And I remember my mom growingup saying something like you
know, from all the things thatyour dad is, pick the good ones.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
You know, just you know like.
He's not a perfect guy, yeah,he never will be.
You need to realize that.
Yeah, and just pick the goodattributes that he has.
He's a hardworking person, he'sresponsible with his money,
he's responsible with his wifeand his kids, he wants the best
for us All these things.
I want you to get on that samementality.
(07:22):
If he likes drinking, look know, look at it from from a, from a
different way, and say you knowwhat, like, if I ever get into
drinking, be responsible with itRight Um and my, my mom was
really a, um, like an old soul.
You know, like she she wasalways.
She was always saying I wantyou, I want you to get on this
(07:43):
path.
You know, with good decisions.
I'm not going to be able tocontrol every decision that you
make, but just have a good brain, you know, just just be able to
, um, I guess, identify good andbad everywhere you go and then
just pick what makes more senseto you and at the you know, at
the same time I love you and Iwill always respect your
(08:04):
decisions.
But know that the more betterdecisions you make, or the
smarter decisions that you make,uh, the prouder I'm going to
feel.
You know, like you're going tomake mom proud, not because you
become what I think you canbecome, but because you're
making smart decisions andyou're being a good person out
there.
That's going to make a proudmom over here.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
That sounds like an awesome parenting plan from her
standpoint.
That's good man.
Yeah, the guidance of parentscan shape a lot for a kid in
their future.
So I mean, like you said, yourdad wasn't perfect but you took
the good things, the qualities,out of him.
Like that's the same thing withmy dad.
(08:50):
You know, my dad's crazy, crazy,but he's got a big heart and uh
, you know, like, like I grew upwatching him, our house was
always open to everybody.
You know, like always, alwayshad people over staying.
Um, even the house in portugal,uh, when the ukrainian war,
when the war I mean the war isstill going on right now, but
when it kicked off, uh, my dadhad like ukrainian families
staying at the house, you know,and uh, so now we have like
friends that are ukrainian thatcome and chill and stay for a
(09:10):
week or two.
One family, they moved toportugal, but it's because they
had a place to stay and kind oflook around and do all that.
So that's how I've always been.
You know I take that from frommy father.
Um, you know, and I told you alittle bit about my plans, my
future plans with the ranch andall that stuff.
So that's the way I look at it,man Like he was not a perfect
(09:33):
man by any means, but he didhave a big heart and he didn't
put up with people's shit.
You know he kept it real.
I know that's not for everybody, you know there might not be a
lot of people at his funeral,but he stood on his shit though.
You know what I mean.
(09:53):
He's not going to let people gosnake and talk shit behind your
back.
He'll fuck you up.
You know what I mean.
Maybe that's not the way toreact in life, but I don't take
that from them.
You know I take the good things, so from that point.
So so you, you end up moving tothe US.
(10:15):
So I wrote down 18 years oldand then I wrote down cartels.
So I can't remember how thosetwo playing together, but I
guess we were talking about howyou ended up coming over here
and how you ended up stayinghere, because it wasn't supposed
to be a permanent situation,right?
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Yeah, so my dad got his green card in the 80s and he
, I mean, since then he's alwaysbeen, he had been a temporary
worker, you know, seasonal.
He did ranching and farming forthe longest time.
(10:49):
So he would come and work everythree months to the US and then
go back home.
Right, when he married my mom,the idea was to do it to just
keep that same, I guess, routine.
Yeah, yeah, do it to just keepthat same, um, I guess routine,
yeah, yeah, because I mean itwas, you know, like it would
help my dad financially to comehere, work three months and then
(11:10):
go back home and then workthree months there.
So for their plans it wasworking out really well.
Um, and so, yeah, I mean, hehad his, he had his green card.
He had his green card forever,uh, but he never really applied
for our residency, you know,until my, my youngest sister,
was born.
(11:30):
He said, you know what, like,let's do it just for the fun of
it.
It took 10 years to get, to get, uh, all the paperwork through,
through the process.
But when it finally happened, Imean it was, um, back in 2010,
it was late 2009, going in 2010,and my at that time, I mean
(11:51):
2007, 2012 was was the window atleast in my hometown, yeah,
where the cartel was really hot.
They were fighting for the, forthe territory, I mean it's.
It's really a good hub ifyou're coming from the north to
the south, from the south to tothe north and then going to the
east, so it's really a good.
(12:12):
I mean, I don't know, like,maybe you know having for
distribution aspects, I guessthat was a really good spot for
the cartel.
So they were fighting for thatspot during that five-year
window and at the time I was 18,almost 19.
(12:35):
And I was hanging out withfriends, going to parties,
trying to go to concerts,hanging out with girls, trying
to meet people in general.
So I was more exposed to thelife, I guess you know, outside
of home.
Yeah, yeah, and what my dad andmy mom feared the most was that
just hanging out with the wrongcrowd, you know, not
necessarily like me, getting introuble, but just being, you
(12:59):
know, being with the wrongperson at the wrong time or at
the wrong spot too right, and atthe time I mean the wrong spot
too right.
And at the time I mean I doremember, not necessarily from
from my high school, um, butthere was, there was some guys
that were selling, uh, cocaine.
That got caught up, you know,in in the middle of the, the
whole fight and everything andthey got killed.
(13:20):
You know, and I mean he made,he made the news and everything.
You know I, they even had the.
I mean, back back home we have,uh, we have uniforms for for
the high school.
So just just seeing, you know,just seeing the, uh, the guys
with their shirts on, you knowfrom I mean they were probably
just getting done with withschool and you know, like the
(13:42):
pictures on the, on the paperand everything I mean it was, it
was kind of like a like a bighighlight at the time, yeah, and
that's, you know, like thepictures on the paper and
everything.
I mean it was kind of like abig highlight at the time, yeah,
and that's.
You know, that was kind of likethe.
I mean, my mom, my dad hadalready talked about it, but
that was kind of like the momentwhere they said, hey, you know
what we're getting out of here.
So, as soon as I finished highschool you know, I think it was
you know I finished on a Fridayand on Monday we were on the
(14:05):
road.
So, yeah, we drove all the wayup here.
My dad had worked for I don'tknow 20 years in Colorado, in
Delta, and that's where we youknow we ended up.
It was my mom, my dad, my twosisters and myself ended up
moving here.
The idea wasn't to stay herepermanently, it was more like
(14:25):
hey, hey, let's check it out,let you know the cartel thing
and all that drug stuff.
Yeah, slow down, cool down, seewho ends up keeping it, whatever
you know, and and then we'lldecide yeah, so like territory
wise yeah, territory wise I mean, because I mean, at the end of
the day, you know, one of themhad to keep it right and it was
just like just letting themfigure that out.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Yeah, shoot it out yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
And then we'll come back to that, because I mean,
back home we all know aboutdrugs, you know, we know it's
happening, we know um, you knowthere's, there's a leader, I
guess.
You know that kind of runs, youknow the territory.
But I mean, if you're not inthe middle, I mean if you're not
in the business, you don't getto see anything.
When, when it's, when it'speaceful right.
(15:11):
Uh, but there was, there wasthis, you know, five-year window
, when it wasn't.
It was, it was kind of a yeah,I mean, you know, like we were
not escaping, you know, but wehad to find a safe spot for the
whole family.
And again, I think, I think mydad, my mom, did it more for me
because my sister was 15, theother one was like nine, so they
(15:36):
were not really, you know, inany risk at that time.
Um, it was mainly me, and mebeing the only guy, you know,
like just just making dumbdecisions, you know, and and for
them, I think it was just like,hey, you know what, like let's,
let's just, yeah, let this guymature a little bit and then see
(15:57):
the world a little bit more,you know, from a respect, you
know, responsible side of things.
And then we'll, you know, we'lldecide we ended up moving up
here, uh, we liked it and now,now we're here.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Now we're here.
That's awesome.
I love that man.
Um you, so uh, you told me youyou just bought some property
recently, right?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
uh, yeah, uh, three years ago yeah, three years ago.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Um, I mean, I could have jumped into this later, but
I just I forget sometimes, so,while I got the questions in my
head or the information I'mgonna throw out there, but, um,
how did you, how did that becomean idea?
When did you decide that, like,I want to do the trees, I want
to do the land, I want to livehere, I want to, when did it
click in your head that that'swhat you want to do?
Speaker 2 (16:47):
I think it's.
It's been a few moments, uh,that you know.
And then finally back when,when, when we pulled the trigger
because it was my ex-girlfriendmyself actually doing it, when
we pulled the trigger because itwas my ex-girlfriend and myself
actually doing it.
When we pulled the trigger, itjust made sense and many things
just lined up and you know, likewe did it.
But I mean, when we moved here,my dad I mean my dad worked for
(17:11):
a tree farm, that's what he did,and the farm went belly up, so
my dad ended up moving intoconstruction.
So he he worked constructionfor a little bit under a a
contractor out in delta.
And when so I did high school,I did one year in high school in
(17:33):
delta, uh, just to kind ofcatch up, you know, with with
english and trying to get getused to the language a little
bit.
And the idea well, when wemoved I mean it was in the
middle of the summer, towardsthe end of or middle of July or
beginning of August I wanted toget enrolled in the community
(17:54):
college out in Delta and theydidn't take me because I didn't
speak English.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
And they didn't have any bilingual.
They didn't have programs ornothing.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
No, no, they didn't have bilingual teachers or
anything.
So it was like hey, you know,you're going to struggle, we're
going to struggle.
It's not going to be a good fit, right, yeah.
So they said no.
What I took with me was Ididn't.
And so I, you know, I talked tomy dad.
My dad was just, like you know,like they just can't take you,
and I was like, fuck, you know,like I guess you know, I'm out
(18:24):
of luck, and I got to find a job, you know, like I'm 18.
I'm 19.
And I was like, well, you know,studying is not an option
anymore, so might as well justfind a job.
I ended up working for a farmer, a rancher, out in Delta, and
this guy spoke no Spanish and Ispoke no English.
So we found a way to justcommunicate.
That's awesome, that's awesome.
(18:45):
And he actually came up with theidea of going back to high
school one year.
He's like, hey, just give it ashot, you know, maybe you come
out with some English, you know,after a year.
And I did, I guess myunderstanding was a little
better.
I didn't speak much yeah, um,and the next summer I ended up
working for him again and I mean, it was, it was, it was spring,
(19:07):
because I remember talking tohim and I said, hey, you know
what?
Like, um, now there's thisconversation about, like college
applications and stuff likethat, and you know, some friends
are really excited and he'slike, did you apply and I was
like, yeah, I was like I didapply for Mesa and hearing
Junction, yeah, and he said well, you know what's the worst that
can happen, right, they say no,whatever.
(19:28):
So I get a letter that said hey, you know what?
Like, yeah, you can come uphere, you know you can, you can
enroll in classes so I getaccepted.
Yeah, I talked to this farmerand I mean he, you know, he
became a really good friend.
He said go to college, man,just give it.
You know, like no one knowsanything you know like they
don't know that you'd speak anyenglish.
(19:49):
Maybe you you will at some point, yeah, just go and give it.
You know, give it a shot ifit's not for you, whatever you
know, but you, you'll havesomething to base your
conclusion on.
So I said, okay, you knowwhatever.
So I did farming every summerduring college In Delta with him
for about three years.
(20:11):
And you pick up a little Englishmore every year.
So my English, you know, Iblame my English on this guy.
So I always said that myEnglish was a farming English,
farming English, english on thisguy.
So I I always said that myenglish was a farming english
farming, because it was justlike the f-bomb was.
You know, like every two, everytwo words that you know we had
the f word everywhere.
So when I came to college, Imean I, I did, you know like I
got.
I got more used to the language, yeah, but doing presentations
(20:33):
in one of the classes, man, oneof the hardest things, because
back then I had to stop andtranslate in my head, and not
only that, I had to like pickout the, the f-bomb.
You know from everything that Iwanted to say, because I mean
it was just not just translating, but it was just like I can't
say this in the classroom.
(20:54):
Yeah, yeah, you know this is notgonna right.
So it was one of the toughestthings ever, you know, like just
presenting in front of theclass.
And yeah, I mean I'd say, youknow, back then 75, 80% of my
English came from hanging outwith this guy in the farm.
And, you know, I probablydidn't know how to spell.
(21:15):
You know 50% of the words thatwe were speaking, but I, you
know, I got used know how tospell.
You know 50 of the words thatwe were speaking, uh, but I, you
know, I got used to how to sayhim.
And yeah, I mean the guy, youknow that one of the coolest
things, uh, with this guy was,um, he was, for the most part,
he was always with me, you know,doing stuff and he, he was, he
(21:36):
wanted to hear my perspective onthings.
So he he'll say, hey, you knowwhat, we need to spray this area
right here, because you knowlike there's a lot of weeds and
we want the water to run alittle bit easier or whatever.
And then he'll say, okay, youknow, tell me how you see it.
You know how would you do it.
You know I have an idea in myhead, but tell me how you do it
and I struggled to explainthings, but I mean, I tried and
(21:58):
he created this safe environmentfor us to talk and communicate.
That it was.
You know, like I tried, I tried, I tried and you know, like,
after, let's say, my structure,you know, my way of saying
things was not the perfect wayof saying it, but he will, like
(22:24):
he will stop me and say, hey,you know what, what, like that's
not how you say it, but youknow, like, if you just switch
it this way, you know, justtweak it here and there, like it
would, it would make more sense.
So, yeah, that's, you know,that's where my, my english kind
of came from, the, as I said,you know, probably like three
years during college I did thatevery summer, I would say, at my
mom's and then work for the guyin delta, and the last two
years I worked for um, avineyard in palisade oh palisade
(22:45):
is huge, you know, with grapesand peaches, peaches yeah
yeah, it's famous, I mean, evennationally.
So, um, yeah, I worked for, Iworked for, uh, for nurture in
palisade.
Um, I worked for, worked for,you know for, for a guy with a
with a group.
Uh, the only spoke Spanish, somy English didn't really, uh,
improve there, but I mean it wasreally good work ethic at the
(23:08):
time.
So I think I mentioned this toyou when I, when I moved to
Grand Junction for for collegeand you know I hang out with my
friends and just you know, forcollege, and you know I hang out
with my friends, and just youknow we drove around, whatever
one of the first things thatcame to me was just like we need
more green.
You know we could, we could usemore green.
I know it's part of the desert,you know like we're closer to
(23:30):
utah, but, uh, you know, like Imean even delta is a little bit
greener than Grand Junction.
So I said you know we have therivers here and like it's just
not, we're just not tree active,you know.
So that's what I said.
You know we need more trees.
Later on I said you know what,like what if I would?
(23:55):
You know like, come up with myown tree farm.
You know, like the one my dadworked for for many years.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Many years yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
And so I always had this crazy idea in the back of
you know, like my head, and it'slike thinking about it,
thinking about it.
When me and my ex, you know,got together and we moved in and
everything, uh, she came upwith the idea of, um, just
getting our own place Right andI had already told her about
(24:24):
this, you know tree idea that Ihad and I was like it's not to
make a profit, it's more for meto just see this, just see the
city the way I would like it tolook, like, you know, and if I
can do it with my own hands,like let it.
So my, my ex and I just kind ofgot on it and it's like okay,
you know, like if we're going tofind a place for us, it's going
(24:46):
to be like the house the wayshe wants it, but I want some
land attached to it so I can dosome trees and we ended up
finding a really good uh spot on29.
And yeah, I mean I remember Imean it's, you know it took a
lot of work to to get the houseremodeled the way she wanted it
(25:07):
it was.
I mean took time and everything, but then I did.
I did plan some.
I think it's about two acres oftrees, oh, hell yeah.
And my first, I think the firstorder I got was, I don't know,
six thousand little trees.
I mean they were tiny.
Right now I'd say you know Igot maybe three thousand that
(25:28):
survived, because some of them Imean it's you know you live and
learn right um, some of themare not for the weather that we
have in western colorado, sosome of them died.
Some of them are not for theweather that we have in western
Colorado, so some of them died.
Some of them struggled,eventually died, soil-wise I
mean you know what soil theyneed to and I guess you know,
(25:49):
like the type of soil that wehave in western Colorado Not
perfect, it's not for every tree.
So I do have some that aremaking it.
I mean ash trees are doing well, catalpa trees are doing well
and I have some blue sprucetrees.
The idea next year Hopefully,you know, I get to save some
money I would like to buy someMaple trees and then just run
(26:13):
with it.
See, see how they do.
The idea right now is to plantsome corn.
I don't know, that's an an idea, just, you know, kind of
crossed my head um, I don't know, last month or so, and I talked
to my dad.
It's like now you can give it ashot.
You know, see how that goes.
Um, we have really good corn inolathe, which is um 45 minutes,
(26:33):
50 minutes from here, and it'sit's known, I mean statewide
really.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Yeah, it's sweet, yeah, it's sweet porn and it's
really good.
So, but the elote is fire.
Yeah, yeah, I think yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
So yeah, I mean that that's kind of how the idea came
about and how we got executed.
It's uh again, you know, likeit's not perfect, but uh bro
it's, I'm doing it.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Yeah, you put together a fucking game plan and
you've made it happen, bro.
That's a big deal, man.
You should be very proud ofyourself.
So, since I want to kind ofsegue from the dreams of the
trees, which you're doing rightnow which is awesome into mental
(27:16):
health, okay, but specificallytherapy, because we were
speaking a little bit earlierabout how, as men, and
especially where you grew up inthe culture, that mental health
really isn't a thing or it's notsomething that people strive to
like.
You know.
It's more like you know, pickyourself up, dust yourself off,
you know men don't cry, etc.
(27:37):
Type of thing.
Yourself off, you know, mendon't cry, etc.
Type of thing.
Um, what was your, what wasyour journey to find therapy?
Because you've told me you uhstarted to do with couples
therapy and then, and thenindividual therapy.
What are the things that thatmade you change your mind on
what therapy is to you?
Speaker 2 (27:54):
yeah, I mean it's, it's, it's one of those things.
I I think it's a cultural thing.
At least for me it was for thelongest time because no one
talked about it, right?
I mean, growing up I don'tremember anybody talking about
therapy and you know like all Iknew about psychology was that
it was a class you know inschool.
(28:15):
And you know, but I mean Ididn't have a friend or like a
family member that would talkabout.
Hey, you know what, like I'mgoing to therapy to better
myself or to work on some things.
You know, like I never heardthat.
So you know, once, once I, Iguess I I got to my adulthood
and you know, like, talking topeople, and yeah, I mean I grew
(28:36):
up, grew up with that, with thatmentality of, hey, you know
what, man, you know men don'tcry.
You know, man, you should, youshould be strong enough to to go
through your problems yourself.
And you know it's a bad day ortoo bad.
You know, go to sleep.
And you know, tomorrow morningyou'll try again.
Um, so I, you know, I think Ithink that was that was kind of
a again the mentality that wehad at home too, with my mom and
(28:59):
dad, and I was never introducedto that, I guess you know.
And so when me and my ex, youknow we struggled with the
relationship in some aspects, Imean you bring two personalities
into.
You know, under the same roofthey're going to like you're
(29:22):
going to find rough spots.
You know that friction and youknow, like things that don't
really make sense why?
Because you're trying to bringyou know different values or
different experiences and youmix that together and it doesn't
go well.
So you kind of have to find away to like or help you navigate
those types of situations.
And she was the one that saidhey, you know what we, it would
(29:44):
be good for us to go to, uh, tocounseling.
You know, we, we gotta find,you know, uh, couples therapy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I remember back then I meanshe probably took two years to
convince me.
You know, you're fine.
I was just like no, you know,like, I don't think we need that
, we just have to communicatebetter.
We just have to.
You know like I will find in myhead the logic behind it.
(30:08):
It's like, hey, you know what,like, if we communicate a little
bit better, if I work on thesethings, if you work on those
things, you know we don't needno therapist here.
You know, like I don't know anycouple that goes to therapy.
And then she'll say, and youknow what I, I do like I know
couples that go or have gone,you know, and they came, they
came out of therapy, uh, as abetter couple, right yeah, yeah
(30:29):
and I I fought it for, you know,for several I I would say like
a couple years at, and then wegot to like a really deep spot.
You know in the relationshipthat I ended up saying you know
what, like, ok, let's give it ashot.
You know, let's give it a shot.
In my head I was kind of likechecking out the relationship at
(30:51):
that point I was like, well,you, know like yeah, it was just
like, if it doesn't work out,you know like, at least, yeah,
we tried it.
And we Like, if it doesn't workout, you know like at least, at
least, yeah, we tried it, andand we did, uh, and then I
realized that how, you know,just being able to put it out
there, you just saying thingsout loud, help both of us Right,
(31:13):
because we, we assume a lot ofshit.
You know, we assume a lot ofshit in the relationship and we.
We assume a lot of shit in therelationship and we fought for
some things that were not eventrue.
Right, we were fighting thingsthat were not even there Exactly
.
So we ended up like going totherapy a couple times and like
(31:34):
some things got better.
I'd say, you know, in therelationship Not everything got
better.
I'd say, you know, in in therelationship, not everything.
And you know, we, we still hadthings that we fought and argue
about, um, but we kept tryingand I remember we went from from
that therapist because wethought it was just like, okay,
(31:54):
you know, like it might be weneed therapy, but it might not
be with this person, right?
So we tried differenttherapists.
Uh, we went to like a couple of, uh, you know, yeah, we went to
this guy for a couple of times.
He didn't really click for us.
Yeah, um, what I realized too,you know, with with my ex, is,
(32:15):
uh, that sometimes it's nottherapy itself, it's the person
that's doing it.
You know, with it with my ex is, uh, that sometimes it's not
therapy itself, it's the personthat's doing it.
You know, like you gotta clickwith you with your therapist too
, like it makes sense, like youtrust that person.
You know, like you can open up,like there's something about
him that just just helps you, uh, get out of the shell.
And you know, just be yourselfand be authentic.
(32:35):
So, uh, we ended up findinganother therapist and we went to
her for a few more times and itdid.
I mean, there were so manythings that I think got better.
We just couldn't get over thebiggest issues in our
relationship.
So we ended up breaking up andI was.
(32:58):
I went home, you know, and Ithought to myself, you know what
, like, I'm responsible for whathappened in this relationship.
Right, I'm responsible for mypart.
And I got to find a way toactually list the things that I
(33:19):
can work on and improve on so Ican become a better person, not
because I feel like I'm a badperson can become a better
person, not because I feel likeI'm a bad person, but because
there's some things that perhapsI didn't know, uh, about myself
, about my personality, and so Iended up finding, you know, my,
my own therapist and, uh, nowit's a weekly uh meeting, you
(33:41):
know like I.
Sometimes we do it in person,sometimes we do it over Zoom.
Yeah, and it's what I tell heris I feel like you sit there and
you listen to me a lot, youknow like I talk a lot and she's
like, yeah, but that's goodbecause you know, like he tells
me that you're feelingcomfortable and it helps you
(34:04):
open up with me.
That too.
And one thing you're prettysmart and I can tell you some
things and you'll be like okay,I didn't see it that way.
So, in reality, it's not thatshe's making me or shaping me
into a different person.
She's just helping me identifywho I am first and then, with
(34:25):
that, okay, who do you want tobe?
Right, uh, is this somethingthat you want to improve on or
that's something that, hey, ifit happens, it happens, or is
there something that you wouldlike to explore as part of you
know, the person that you wantto be in the future?
It's.
It's interesting how you know,like breaking these patterns.
Um, it's interesting how youknow, like breaking these
(34:54):
patterns that perhaps you don'trealize you have or you follow
can open up.
You know a conversation,because you know we can sit here
and blame mom, dad.
You know that teacher in highschool, you know that girlfriend
in high school, girlfriend inhigh school.
But in reality, you know, ifyou take action yourself, um you
, you can actually find doorsand those doors will lead to
(35:15):
different roads at the end ofthe day, right?
So who do you want to be like?
That's, that's, you know.
That's the main question.
And do you really want tochange?
Do you really want to do betterhere, more than anything you
know?
For, for me, I guess mentalhealth means being comfortable
with who I am, with my mistakes,you know, with my successes.
(35:36):
You know, like everything thatmakes myself you know the person
I am.
Uh, do I feel comfortable withthat?
Yeah, the good, the bad,everything.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
And you know like one thing that my therapist
mentioned a couple times now.
She said you know like it'sgood for you to go out there and
try to help people, right, butif your cup is halfway, you know
how can you help.
You know, pour into another cup.
You know like you got.
You know pour into another cup.
You know like you gotta refillyour cup first.
Be okay with you.
You know there's a lot ofthings that go into who you are.
(36:15):
You know it could be work-wise.
It could be family-wise,friends.
You know social life uh, I meananything it could be.
It could go down to like howyou're eating.
You know that week.
You know that day Do youexercise?
You know, do you read?
Like all those little piecesmake up who you are and if
(36:36):
you're missing something, or youknow your cup is not completely
full, you got to work on thosethings first before you look,
you know, for the next person tohelp.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
To help.
Yeah, no, that's perfect man.
That's uh.
That's been a lot of my journey, to be honest.
You know, just uh figuring outhow to love myself the best,
figuring out, uh what I need tosucceed, uh what type of people
I need to be surrounded with.
You know, just just just justlearning about myself.
You know my, my flaws, my uhthings I need to work on, and
(37:10):
that's pretty much the wholejourney of this podcast has been
that, like taking, taking alittle bit from you, taking a
little bit from the next personI talked to, going through how I
handled that situation myself.
Oh, why did they do it this way?
Why did I do it this way, youknow, but all of that is filling
my cup up, you know, and andwhen you're not out searching
(37:32):
for it you know what I mean andyou're just trying to take care
of you, it's gonna find you, youknow.
You just can't rush it, that'sjust how it goes.
You know, the best version ofyou is gonna attract what you
deserve or what you need.
So that's the way I'm lookingat it.
That's that's why I'm lookingat.
That's that's why I'm just likeon this grind so hard.
You know what I mean.
Like I'm just I'm working on meright now and and being a good
dad, that's that's the mostimportant thing right now.
(37:54):
So after this, I'm goingchristmas with the kids chilling
, so, um, so cool man, uh, I'mso.
Once a week, huh, that'sawesome.
Once a week, that's that's cool.
So you guys are like waycomfortable.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Yeah, it's already on my schedule and it's, you know
we.
She touches base with me,beginning of you know, like
early in the day, just to makesure everything is cool and
everything is lining up.
There's always the option toreschedule, but for the most
part, like it's set on myschedule and like it's something
(38:26):
that I look forward to, I don'tknow like again, you know, like
it I've talked about thingsthat I probably have not talked
about out loud.
You know, in terms of goingback to that, you know like I
don't wear my emotions, myfeelings you know a lot, so I
don't wear my emotions, myfeelings, you know a lot, so I
(38:47):
don't show them Lucky.
But you know like it'ssometimes it's okay.
You know like sometimes, again,you know, with the right people
it's okay to show it, you know,and more than anything, it
brings you back to who you areand it just reminds you that
you're human, right again?
Speaker 1 (39:09):
we all make mistakes yeah, 100 like we really all do.
It's just you being able toaccept those, the person you're
with, being able to accepttheirs and yours, and I think
that's it.
That's a huge key to likefinding happiness.
Um, so we went through a coupleof chapters of your life, um,
(39:30):
so, not so much about you butabout this place.
Um, from what I've from justarriving, people have told me
that this is like a hot spot forlike mental health reasons, but
not necessarily for the goodpart.
Um, there's a, there's a Ididn't look up the statistics
part Um, there's a, there's a Ididn't look up the statistics I
should have but there's a veryhigh homeless population, very
(39:51):
high.
Um, uh, there's just a lot ofdrugs and and and and and a lot
of things going on here that I'mless aware of than you are.
Um, I know there was a?
Um a methadone clinic that wasunder investigation.
Uh, you kind of helped clearthat up for me too, kind of your
, your thoughts on that, but canyou kind of uh tell me what?
(40:14):
What is the, the energy likehere?
Uh, when it comes to that typeof stuff?
Speaker 2 (40:20):
yeah, it's so in the last few years, uh, I, I've
heard that, I, you know, I, Iit's stories and in the news and
all that we, we do, we are, uh,we rank, you know, a pretty
high in in suicides, not onlystatewide but nationally I think
(40:41):
.
I think grand junction rankspretty high.
Yeah, not a big place and yeah,I mean, you know like it's one
of the crazy things.
And you know like, do I knowthe reason?
Do I know you know what thesolution is?
Probably not, but I, for themost part, I think I think we
compare ourselves.
(41:01):
You know the city we're in, uh,the town we're in, to like
denver and salt lake.
We're in the middle right.
So we're in the town we're into like Denver and Salt Lake,
we're in the middle right, sowe're in the middle of those two
places and people, I thinkpeople dream about, you know,
the Denver life or the Salt Lakelife, and then they come down
to Grand Juniors like dang, youknow like it's slow here.
(41:22):
You know like not many options,you know, and then you start
limiting your beliefs.
Or you know like I thinkthere's a lack of identity.
You know, I don't think peopleare proud to be from Grand
Junction just because they wantto be someplace else, place else
.
One of the craziest things iswhen people move out of Grand
(41:47):
Junction, you know, to a biggercity.
You know they go to California,you know they go to Seattle,
whatever.
You know.
Like five, 10 years down theroad, once they settle down, you
know they have a family or theystart a family, they want to
start a business, whatever.
Then they come back to GrandJunction with different
perspective and it's just like,hey, you know what Grand
Junction with differentperspective and it's just like,
hey, you know what GrandJunction was great, I was the
(42:09):
one that just had the wrong way,I looked at it the wrong way,
so that, unfortunately, peoplehave to get out of Grand
Junction to realize how valuablethis place can be in the very
(42:30):
first episode of the podcast Italk a lot about my sister
because she's like a hero to me.
Speaker 1 (42:33):
You know what I mean, um, and she.
One of the first things shetold me when she left for
college was you gotta leave yourhometown when, when you
graduate, you have to.
You know, like it doesn'tmatter if you go to college or
not, you just gotta go explorethe world's a place.
So she like ingrained that inme.
So, like, what you see heretoday is a product of that
(42:54):
journey.
You know what I mean andtraveling is such a huge part of
that Right, so I think thatmight be a little bit like.
Maybe if you grew up in grand,like was born, raised there,
there, you would have known tolike this isn't the place to be.
But maybe when I retire, youknow, um, shit, shit.
Sorry, I forgot where I wasgoing with that um you just
(43:17):
bring different lenses.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
You know when, when, when you travel, when, when you
see the struggles or thedifferences?
I guess you know, because Imean, as humans, we compare a
lot, right?
Yes, yes, and yeah social media.
Now, I mean you compare yourlife to everyone's life.
Um, but that's a different area.
But I think I think you knowonce you travel.
So you know, like in my head,why, why wouldn't I move to
(43:43):
denver?
You know, that's always been aquestion for you know years,
since you know, with guys I wentto school with, or girls I hang
out with or whatever, like, whywould you pick here instead of
Denver?
Speaker 1 (43:52):
Yeah, why?
Speaker 2 (43:53):
did I stay here after college, right, yeah, yeah, and
you know I looked at Denver andyeah, I mean there's fun, you
know there's options, you knowyou have more restaurants, you
clubs, you know you have, youknow, like, access to music,
whatever cool.
You know like that's that,that's, that's, that's okay with
me and I can go to denver.
You know it's four hours fromhere, you know I can, I can get
in my car and drive denver, noproblem.
(44:14):
Spend, you know, spend friday,saturday and sunday.
They come back, you know, uh,late sunday.
And you know, for work onmonday, um, the thing for me to
live in in in a Denver, I meantraffic is huge, right, I mean
it takes an hour to get you knowfrom point A to point B here.
I mean it takes 10 minutes.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
I know, I know.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
That's one Two crime, right?
I mean, if I have to watch myback, you know everywhere I walk
to like that's a big no for me,big no yeah, two, I mean three.
Eventually I want to have afamily right.
Eventually I want to have mykids and I would like my kids to
(44:57):
grow up in a place where Idon't have to like shield them,
I guess from everything.
Speaker 1 (45:03):
Yeah, protect them.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
Yeah, I mean just put them in a good community, the
community will take care of themand eventually they will become
assets for that community.
In a big city, I mean it'simpossible, right I know.
Speaker 1 (45:15):
And what you're doing here.
You're building onto thecommunity with the trees and
everything right.
So it's like there's alreadythat incentive for the community
to help your kids.
Speaker 2 (45:25):
Because you're helping the community, you know,
you're like you're, you'reinvolved, invested and you know
what, like I'm a really bigbeliever of you know you get out
what you put in right.
So the the more you get outthere and the more you you try
to help.
It might not be immediate, butI mean eventually, uh, the
world's gonna look at you and belike, hey, you know what you
(45:46):
deserve, a couple of good things.
You know, here's a good personthat you you need in your life.
You know you, here's a.
You know like a I don't knowlike an opportunity you know to,
for you to I don't know to togrow your business yeah to do
something different you know,become a better asset in the
(46:06):
community.
So, at the end of the day,those are the little things that
you, those are the tradeoffsfor living in a big city like
Grand Junction, exactly.
And sometimes I feel like againwhen we compare.
And this is what I believehappens in Grand Junction is
growing up.
You hear all these amazingstories about Denver, san
(46:29):
Francisco, salt Lake.
Los Angeles, yeah, and thenyou're like hey, you know, I
want that because I don't haveit here, right, and I guess you
focus on it so much that youstart looking, you start to look
down on Grand Junction.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
Oh yeah, that you have to offer.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
Yeah, looking you start to look down on grand
junction yeah.
So when, when these youngsters,I guess, go through life with
that mentality, it's like a no,I like, I don't like that, I
don't want, you know, I want him, don't want to say I'm from
ranch, right, yeah.
And then you get to a pointwhere life gets hard and then
now you can get out of grandjunction because financially.
(47:06):
You know you can't do it, or youhave to take care of mom and
dad or whatever reason thatkeeps you here.
So now you're it's against yourwill, right?
Yeah.
So I think it fucks you up in away that you're like wow, you
know, like I don't have options,right, I don't have limited
options.
So what, what do I do now?
So I talk negatively about I donow.
So I talk negatively aboutGrand Junction.
(47:28):
I talk negatively about itspeople.
You know, well, we have thisand this.
You know, like that's reallygood in Grand Junction, yeah,
but I mean that doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (47:39):
Yeah, that place has this times 10.
Yeah, I get it.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
And I feel like that has created a narrative in Grand
Junction that doesn't help thepeople that believe it and then
transmit that to the next persontoo.
So what I think happens morehere is that people feel stuck
(48:04):
in Grand Junction here is thatpeople feel stuck yeah and
instead of looking at the beautyof grand junction they look at
the struggles.
Speaker 1 (48:12):
I guess, yeah, it's a beautiful place, yeah it is a
beautiful, gorgeous, and youknow we get four seasons here.
Speaker 2 (48:17):
I mean we have access to snow.
I mean we have the mountains,you have the monument to go hike
mountain bike or whatever.
Speaker 1 (48:24):
Yep, good hunting, good fishing and everything and
everything is driving distanceagain you know you want to go to
salt lake.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
Four hours four hours , four hours, I mean can't beat
it we have.
Speaker 1 (48:33):
We have a I mean a medium size airport too yeah,
it's a nice airport, so I thinkit's the nicest in colorado.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
So so you know like it's.
I feel like the narrative justgets too negative yeah and that
affects you know people peopleuh-huh, and then once, once you
face struggles, or once you faceum those big challenges you
know, in life, they, they becomebigger because you're not,
(49:08):
you're not really in a in apositive um you're not seeing it
through a positive lens?
Speaker 1 (49:13):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2 (49:14):
And and and what ends up happening is, you know, it
affects you mentally, sophysically you don't want to be
here, right.
So mentally you have achallenge.
You you think and talknegatively about.
You know where you are, who youare, who you're with, yeah, so
what ends up happening is youknow, unfortunately.
You know, I wouldn't say it'san easy exit, but I mean suicide
(49:37):
becomes an option.
I wouldn't say like it's whatit crosses your mind, a lot
easier than if you were in ahappy spot.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
Yes, absolutely so, if you're happy.
Speaker 2 (49:48):
You know like I get it.
You know like we're going tosee people die.
You know you're going to see.
You know, friends, family,loved ones die.
But when you're good with thememories, when you're good with
yourself, you know, losing aperson becomes more of a
(50:10):
celebration of hey.
You know what I got toexperience some things with this
person.
Yeah, because in mexico, that's, you know, we have the other
muertos, which is a celebrationof the death.
Not necessarily we celebratepeople dying.
Speaker 1 (50:22):
We celebrate their memories?
Speaker 2 (50:24):
yeah, so, hey, you know what I know?
Like, we have an altar for mygrandpa.
We're not celebrating that hedied, we're celebrating that we
got to spend a lot of time withhim and we got stories with him
that we can pass on to the youngones that perhaps didn't get to
see him, right, yeah, so whatends up happening is we look at
(50:45):
death as a way to remind us thatwe're human, uh, that we're all
going to get there but at theend of the day, are you happy
with the memories that you gotto build, you know, with with
that person?
yeah, I've always thought, youknow, like, I've always talked
about my, my death.
You know, like I do, I want todie, no, um, but I know it's
(51:08):
going to happen.
And when I talk to my friends,when I talk to my family, I've
always said, hey, you know what,like, I don't want you to cry,
I'm not going to be around.
You can cry, but whatever, Idon't want you to cry.
Why I want you?
I want you to be happy, I wantyou to uh, to bring a band, you
know, a lot of noise, justbecause that's who I was right.
Uh, I want you to make a partya lot of food, a lot of beer,
(51:30):
you know like get my friends andget what.
What I would like it to looklike is just have a podium and
during the day, you know, havepeople go to the mic and then
just talk about memory yeahstory that we we got to share,
and you know what I rememberback in college, when they did
this and this and I didn't evenlaugh about it, so I'm not going
(51:53):
to be there.
So I don't know what it's goingto look like.
But, if I could pick you knowhow that would look like that
would be my ideal way of going.
You know, going away thatsounds Because I don't want my
mom.
You know like if my mom's alive, I don't want my mom crying.
You know, I don't want myfriends, I want my, you know, my
wife, my kids, you know, to cryabout it.
(52:13):
It's just like, hey, you knowwhat this is part of life.
Speaker 1 (52:16):
It was his time, but let's remember all the memories,
yeah we can grieve for a littlebit, but they're going to want
us to not stop our lives, us tonot stop our lives, and you know
people kill themselves afterother people die.
You know like people go to thethe bottle really hard.
You know like that's a thing,um, yeah, so I'm really glad you
said that, because it is acultural difference.
(52:38):
You know, we don't have a dayof the dead over here or
anything like that.
Um, I think, uh, I think we gotpretty much all the information
that I wanted to get man.
Um, I wanted to get man.
I wanted to say thank you somuch for doing this.
I really appreciate it.
We'd be going longer if Ididn't have this tattoo.
Sorry, autumn, my bad, butbefore I go, do you want to
(53:02):
shout anybody out or do you wantto say any thank yous or
anything like that?
Speaker 2 (53:07):
First of all, I would like to thank you.
You know, I think I think whatyou're trying to, the message
that you're trying to send out,you know to, to the whole
community, is amazing.
Uh, more than anything, I Ithink you know we're moving
towards a a good spot with withmental health.
I think we're opening up moreas a society to it.
(53:27):
There's still a lot of work tobe done, yeah, and yeah I mean,
just find your happy place, findyour safe spot.
You know to do it, and itdoesn't mean that you're weak,
it just means that you're humanjust like everyone else, and you
know we all have differentstruggles.
Speaker 1 (53:46):
I think you know we touch on not judging people
without actually getting to knowtheir stories.
Yes, and it's important, it'svery important.
Speaker 2 (53:54):
I've been judged for how I look like right or how I'm
dressing up, or whatever.
Speaker 1 (54:00):
Yeah, how I talk, whatever yeah.
Speaker 2 (54:01):
So you know like it's not a good start.
And that's the society we haveum we have become, I guess yeah
and it's something.
It's something that we couldreally work on, and social media
is not all real right yeah, noproblem your life is just as
good as you know, uh, the personnext to you and it.
(54:22):
you know one thing that I Ilearned I mean I got off social
media a couple of years ago, andone thing that I learned I mean
I got off social media a coupleof years ago and one thing that
I learned was you will neversee a person posting the shit
that really happens to them.
You know like they post goodstuff.
Speaker 1 (54:38):
Unless you're me, you go on my show.
You're like man this guy'sdepressed, no, but you know what
?
Like it's real right Peoplepost.
Speaker 2 (54:45):
You know all the happy shit.
You know the money, the carsthe house, but I mean when you
go to jail you're not takingpictures, fuck.
No, I spent three days.
You know it sucks.
Speaker 1 (54:57):
Selfie I got beat up.
Nope, nope.
Speaker 2 (55:00):
So don't compare your life to social media, people or
personalities or whatever.
Speaker 1 (55:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (55:06):
At the end of the day , you know, just just just, be
responsible with your life, makegood decisions out there.
Um, I, I do believe that.
You know I was telling you I I'ma big believer in fate yeah so
you will eventually find yourspot where you need to be with
the person you need to be, andit's it was it was meant to be
that way, right?
So it just don't, don't rush it.
(55:28):
It's more about who you hangout with, the decisions that you
make and every decision thatyou make, even if it's the wrong
one, you can always make aU-turn and come back and fix it.
Do it differently.
I read this quote in a bookthat said hey, sometimes you get
on the wrong train, right andit's fine.
(55:50):
But the longer that you realizeyou're on the wrong train, the
more expensive your way back.
And then it said at the bottomwe're not talking about trains,
we were talking about decisionsin life.
Speaker 1 (56:03):
Fucking life, yeah.
Speaker 2 (56:04):
So yeah, I mean you know like it's.
It's OK if you make mistakes.
It's OK if you know like you'renot the perfect person who you
want to be at the moment.
Yeah, but it's.
It starts with little decisions.
You know, the way you wake upin the morning, you know, like
the yeah, I mean it's just.
It's just little pieces thatmake up this big puzzle.
(56:27):
And if you're always lookingfor happiness, as a result of
something.
You'll never get there, because,I mean, happiness is not a
result of anything, it's morehow you feel, right, how you
feel, and it's, you know, like,if this and this happens, then
you know I'm going to be happy.
Yeah, I mean, you're looking atit the wrong way.
(56:47):
It's more like like, okay, I'mhappy with who I am.
Can I do better, can I do more?
And let's explore that.
But wasn't that, bro?
You know, it's uh, it's life.
Uh, life will happen, if we'rehere or not.
One thing that I learned withthe trees is, if you want to
leave a legacy, plant a tree.
That's, that's something Ilearned nice, I love that and
(57:09):
yeah, I mean for those you knowthat have never made it to grand
junction.
It's a beautiful place.
We're really welcoming and comecheck it out.
You know we have outdoors, uh,throughout the year pretty much.
So you know it's a beautifulplace.
It's getting a little bit moreexpensive that now that people
are finding it figuring it outbut if you know it's, um, it's a
(57:30):
really cool spot for me, it'sit's home and you know if I, if
I get to make a difference outthere, uh, one day at a time,
you know great, uh, the work Ido is is mainly to improve
myself and again, just have thatthat you know, full cup to when
I get the chance.
Help you know the person thatright next to me, right, um, we
(57:54):
have the university in grandjunction, we can we get to see
talent a lot yeah, all firsthandyeah so I, I do see big things
for grand junction.
Um, you know down the road andyeah yeah, I mean, if you make,
if you make it down here foranything, um, yeah, my, my farm
(58:14):
is pg farm, so, uh, eventually Iwill have thousands of trees
and that will be the dream,right?
So come check it out.
You can always you can alwaysask for jorge.
I don't think there's manyJorge's out there.
It's easy to find me and, ifnot, just Google the Farm and
you'll find it.
Speaker 1 (58:32):
There you go.
Thank you, awesome, bro.
Thank you so much, jorge.
You want to drop me off at thetattoo shop?
Yeah, let's do it Awesome.
All right, thank you everybodyfor listening One of my favorite
podcasts so far, and peace.
Hello and welcome to Hanging with Humans podcast.
It's me RJ.
I'm back.
I'm with my new homie, jorge.
What's up, dog?
How are you doing?
I'm?
Speaker 2 (00:07):
good, how are you dude?
Speaker 1 (00:09):
So, jorge, what's your last name?
Jorge Pantoja Pantoja.
Jorge, I met yesterday.
He was my lift driver and itwas only like a five-minute
drive, but in that five minuteswe had a lot of conversation on
(00:33):
a lot of important topics thatare going on in the world today,
and we spoke a little bit alittle while ago and I think we
have a lot of awesomeinformation that uh will be
released to you later.
And, um, so I'm really excitedto to get Jorge's story.
Um, he's from Mexico.
(00:53):
Uh, I've had some other peopletalk about immigration and stuff
on the podcast, so that's verycool.
Uh, I'm in Grand Junction,colorado, right now getting a
tattoo done by one of my goodfriends, autumn, and so that's
why I got this all on me rightnow.
But before I go do that, I'mgoing to talk to Jorge.
So, jorge, how are you doingtoday?
Bro?
I'm doing good man, good man.
(01:14):
So I want to start with how oldare you?
33.
33?
And you were born in Mexico.
I was born and raised in Mexico.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Yeah, what part.
Como es Palacio Durango?
It's kind of dead in the middle.
Dead in the middle.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Yeah, flat, hot, flat and hot.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Awesome.
So a little bit, what we dowith the podcast is showing
people how, uh, other peoplegrow up and things they've gone
through, to kind of help themlay out a map to how to do or
don't do things.
You know, because I think weall go through a lot of the same
issues and uh, even just ustalking today and yesterday, I
(01:58):
can already tell like a lot ofsimilarities.
Um, you're a very well-traveledperson as well.
Um, so, yeah, I have a lot ofawesome questions to get started
with.
But so Mexico, we were talkingabout your childhood and how you
had a group of friends that youhad watched them kind of get
(02:20):
into drugs, or you guys were allin the same group.
You had a a chance to to go oneway or another and you chose to
to not do the drugs becauseyou've seen the lives getting
ruined and everything.
Can you kind of like paint me apicture of, like what childhood
looks like for you in Mexico atthat time?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
yeah, so I mean it was, it was back.
You know, we were probably like10 or 12.
And there was a lot of kids inthe same neighborhood about the
same age and we, after school,would hang out, play soccer,
like on the street.
That's kind of how our life was, you know, 20 years ago.
But yeah, that's kind of how wegot started and you know we
(03:02):
would play random games afterplaying soccer too.
We got started and you knowwe'll play random games after.
After playing soccer too.
We'll sit, you know, um, youknow, by the house and just talk
about you know whatever, uh,just come up with stories or how
life was going for for all ofus.
And yeah, I mean it got to thepoint that you know we started
hanging out with, with olderguys and you know, they inviting
(03:24):
us to like just do differentshit.
And at some point, you know, weall got introduced to drugs,
mainly weed and coke.
And you know, like there was,there was, a group of us that
were not really into it or wedidn't have the, the interest, I
guess, to find out more aboutit, and some did.
Later on we realized that youknow, uh, the interest, I guess,
(03:45):
to find out more about it, andsome did.
Uh, later on we realized that,you know, like the, the path
that they got on was not thegreatest, and you know, some of
them drop out of school.
You know like they just didn'tpursue anything.
That you know, like that therest of us did and I'm not
saying that you know we'rebetter than them in any way,
shape or form.
Uh, it was just a decision thatwe made at a really early age
and it, you know we're betterthan them in any way, shape or
form.
Uh, it was just a decision thatwe made at a really early age
(04:08):
and it, you know, like, we lookback and the, the ones that
didn't do drugs back then, um,you know, just just got into
work or they kept studying.
You know, like not, because theneighborhood we grew up in had
this stigma.
That you know like I think Ithink that the top tier was to
(04:33):
finish high school.
You know like I don't think backthen anybody really talked
about college or a career or youknow, like anything like that
beyond, beyond high school, uh,but some of these friends, you
know that that drop out ofschool.
I mean, we're talking, you knowsixth grade, you know fifth
grade and yeah, I mean justtrying, just trying to do
(04:53):
different things at the time,just trying to be independent,
um, explore the world.
I guess that's that's how somepeople uh looked at it and we
just didn't have that pressureor that we didn't want to just
do things too early.
I guess for us, yeah, yeah,it's not that you'll get.
(05:16):
You know there's just one timeyou get exposed to drugs or you
know like you get this exposureor invitation to try different
things.
I've seen it throughout, knowthroughout my life, but it's
always.
It's always where you are andhow prepared you are mentally
for you know to say no and youknow I I guess some, some of
(05:39):
them, did it because of you knowhow their lives were at the
time.
You know they probably hadstruggles, that it was an easy
exit for them to just forgetabout him, or at least for a
moment, and unfortunately itchanged their lives and I think
(05:59):
some of them blamed thosedecisions, blamed their lives on
those decisions.
You know, like, based on thisdecision, this is where I'm at
today.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Yeah, when they, they had the chance to probably, you
know, make a u-turn in life andand still have enough time but
how much did uh parents role payplay in like guidance or
shaping you know, like to foryou to not go that route but
others did like.
Do you think family dynamic hassomething to do with that?
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Personally I think it did.
Yeah, you know, in, in my, inmy household, mom was really
strict and you know she, sheliked discipline, you know more
than anything.
Yeah, yeah, my dad, my dad hasalways, you know, loved beer,
but I mean nothing else.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Nothing else yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Nothing else.
And I remember my mom growingup saying something like you
know, from all the things thatyour dad is, pick the good ones.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
You know, just you know like.
He's not a perfect guy, yeah,he never will be.
You need to realize that.
Yeah, and just pick the goodattributes that he has.
He's a hardworking person, he'sresponsible with his money,
he's responsible with his wifeand his kids, he wants the best
for us All these things.
I want you to get on that samementality.
(07:22):
If he likes drinking, look know, look at it from from a, from a
different way, and say you knowwhat, like, if I ever get into
drinking, be responsible with itRight Um and my, my mom was
really a, um, like an old soul.
You know, like she she wasalways.
She was always saying I wantyou, I want you to get on this
(07:43):
path.
You know, with good decisions.
I'm not going to be able tocontrol every decision that you
make, but just have a good brain, you know, just just be able to
, um, I guess, identify good andbad everywhere you go and then
just pick what makes more senseto you and at the you know, at
the same time I love you and Iwill always respect your
(08:04):
decisions.
But know that the more betterdecisions you make, or the
smarter decisions that you make,uh, the prouder I'm going to
feel.
You know, like you're going tomake mom proud, not because you
become what I think you canbecome, but because you're
making smart decisions andyou're being a good person out
there.
That's going to make a proudmom over here.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
That sounds like an awesome parenting plan from her
standpoint.
That's good man.
Yeah, the guidance of parentscan shape a lot for a kid in
their future.
So I mean, like you said, yourdad wasn't perfect but you took
the good things, the qualities,out of him.
Like that's the same thing withmy dad.
(08:50):
You know, my dad's crazy, crazy,but he's got a big heart and uh
, you know, like, like I grew upwatching him, our house was
always open to everybody.
You know, like always, alwayshad people over staying.
Um, even the house in portugal,uh, when the ukrainian war,
when the war I mean the war isstill going on right now, but
when it kicked off, uh, my dadhad like ukrainian families
staying at the house, you know,and uh, so now we have like
friends that are ukrainian thatcome and chill and stay for a
(09:10):
week or two.
One family, they moved toportugal, but it's because they
had a place to stay and kind oflook around and do all that.
So that's how I've always been.
You know I take that from frommy father.
Um, you know, and I told you alittle bit about my plans, my
future plans with the ranch andall that stuff.
So that's the way I look at it,man Like he was not a perfect
(09:33):
man by any means, but he didhave a big heart and he didn't
put up with people's shit.
You know he kept it real.
I know that's not for everybody, you know there might not be a
lot of people at his funeral,but he stood on his shit though.
You know what I mean.
(09:53):
He's not going to let people gosnake and talk shit behind your
back.
He'll fuck you up.
You know what I mean.
Maybe that's not the way toreact in life, but I don't take
that from them.
You know I take the good things, so from that point.
So so you, you end up moving tothe US.
(10:15):
So I wrote down 18 years oldand then I wrote down cartels.
So I can't remember how thosetwo playing together, but I
guess we were talking about howyou ended up coming over here
and how you ended up stayinghere, because it wasn't supposed
to be a permanent situation,right?
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Yeah, so my dad got his green card in the 80s and he
, I mean, since then he's alwaysbeen, he had been a temporary
worker, you know, seasonal.
He did ranching and farming forthe longest time.
(10:49):
So he would come and work everythree months to the US and then
go back home.
Right, when he married my mom,the idea was to do it to just
keep that same, I guess, routine.
Yeah, yeah, do it to just keepthat same, um, I guess routine,
yeah, yeah, because I mean itwas, you know, like it would
help my dad financially to comehere, work three months and then
(11:10):
go back home and then workthree months there.
So for their plans it wasworking out really well.
Um, and so, yeah, I mean, hehad his, he had his green card.
He had his green card forever,uh, but he never really applied
for our residency, you know,until my, my youngest sister,
was born.
(11:30):
He said, you know what, like,let's do it just for the fun of
it.
It took 10 years to get, to get, uh, all the paperwork through,
through the process.
But when it finally happened, Imean it was, um, back in 2010,
it was late 2009, going in 2010,and my at that time, I mean
(11:51):
2007, 2012 was was the window atleast in my hometown, yeah,
where the cartel was really hot.
They were fighting for the, forthe territory, I mean it's.
It's really a good hub ifyou're coming from the north to
the south, from the south to tothe north and then going to the
east, so it's really a good.
(12:12):
I mean, I don't know, like,maybe you know having for
distribution aspects, I guessthat was a really good spot for
the cartel.
So they were fighting for thatspot during that five-year
window and at the time I was 18,almost 19.
(12:35):
And I was hanging out withfriends, going to parties,
trying to go to concerts,hanging out with girls, trying
to meet people in general.
So I was more exposed to thelife, I guess you know, outside
of home.
Yeah, yeah, and what my dad andmy mom feared the most was that
just hanging out with the wrongcrowd, you know, not
necessarily like me, getting introuble, but just being, you
(12:59):
know, being with the wrongperson at the wrong time or at
the wrong spot too right, and atthe time I mean the wrong spot
too right.
And at the time I mean I doremember, not necessarily from
from my high school, um, butthere was, there was some guys
that were selling, uh, cocaine.
That got caught up, you know,in in the middle of the, the
whole fight and everything andthey got killed.
(13:20):
You know, and I mean he made,he made the news and everything.
You know I, they even had the.
I mean, back back home we have,uh, we have uniforms for for
the high school.
So just just seeing, you know,just seeing the, uh, the guys
with their shirts on, you knowfrom I mean they were probably
just getting done with withschool and you know, like the
(13:42):
pictures on the, on the paperand everything I mean it was, it
was kind of like a like a bighighlight at the time, yeah, and
that's, you know, like thepictures on the paper and
everything.
I mean it was kind of like abig highlight at the time, yeah,
and that's.
You know, that was kind of likethe.
I mean, my mom, my dad hadalready talked about it, but
that was kind of like the momentwhere they said, hey, you know
what we're getting out of here.
So, as soon as I finished highschool you know, I think it was
you know I finished on a Fridayand on Monday we were on the
(14:05):
road.
So, yeah, we drove all the wayup here.
My dad had worked for I don'tknow 20 years in Colorado, in
Delta, and that's where we youknow we ended up.
It was my mom, my dad, my twosisters and myself ended up
moving here.
The idea wasn't to stay herepermanently, it was more like
(14:25):
hey, hey, let's check it out,let you know the cartel thing
and all that drug stuff.
Yeah, slow down, cool down, seewho ends up keeping it, whatever
you know, and and then we'lldecide yeah, so like territory
wise yeah, territory wise I mean, because I mean, at the end of
the day, you know, one of themhad to keep it right and it was
just like just letting themfigure that out.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Yeah, shoot it out yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
And then we'll come back to that, because I mean,
back home we all know aboutdrugs, you know, we know it's
happening, we know um, you knowthere's, there's a leader, I
guess.
You know that kind of runs, youknow the territory.
But I mean, if you're not inthe middle, I mean if you're not
in the business, you don't getto see anything.
When, when it's, when it'speaceful right.
(15:11):
Uh, but there was, there wasthis, you know, five-year window
, when it wasn't.
It was, it was kind of a yeah,I mean, you know, like we were
not escaping, you know, but wehad to find a safe spot for the
whole family.
And again, I think, I think mydad, my mom, did it more for me
because my sister was 15, theother one was like nine, so they
(15:36):
were not really, you know, inany risk at that time.
Um, it was mainly me, and mebeing the only guy, you know,
like just just making dumbdecisions, you know, and and for
them, I think it was just like,hey, you know what, like let's,
let's just, yeah, let this guymature a little bit and then see
(15:57):
the world a little bit more,you know, from a respect, you
know, responsible side of things.
And then we'll, you know, we'lldecide we ended up moving up
here, uh, we liked it and now,now we're here.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Now we're here.
That's awesome.
I love that man.
Um you, so uh, you told me youyou just bought some property
recently, right?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
uh, yeah, uh, three years ago yeah, three years ago.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Um, I mean, I could have jumped into this later, but
I just I forget sometimes, so,while I got the questions in my
head or the information I'mgonna throw out there, but, um,
how did you, how did that becomean idea?
When did you decide that, like,I want to do the trees, I want
to do the land, I want to livehere, I want to, when did it
click in your head that that'swhat you want to do?
Speaker 2 (16:47):
I think it's.
It's been a few moments, uh,that you know.
And then finally back when,when, when we pulled the trigger
because it was my ex-girlfriendmyself actually doing it, when
we pulled the trigger because itwas my ex-girlfriend and myself
actually doing it.
When we pulled the trigger, itjust made sense and many things
just lined up and you know, likewe did it.
But I mean, when we moved here,my dad I mean my dad worked for
(17:11):
a tree farm, that's what he did,and the farm went belly up, so
my dad ended up moving intoconstruction.
So he he worked constructionfor a little bit under a a
contractor out in delta.
And when so I did high school,I did one year in high school in
(17:33):
delta, uh, just to kind ofcatch up, you know, with with
english and trying to get getused to the language a little
bit.
And the idea well, when wemoved I mean it was in the
middle of the summer, towardsthe end of or middle of July or
beginning of August I wanted toget enrolled in the community
(17:54):
college out in Delta and theydidn't take me because I didn't
speak English.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
And they didn't have any bilingual.
They didn't have programs ornothing.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
No, no, they didn't have bilingual teachers or
anything.
So it was like hey, you know,you're going to struggle, we're
going to struggle.
It's not going to be a good fit, right, yeah.
So they said no.
What I took with me was Ididn't.
And so I, you know, I talked tomy dad.
My dad was just, like you know,like they just can't take you,
and I was like, fuck, you know,like I guess you know, I'm out
(18:24):
of luck, and I got to find a job, you know, like I'm 18.
I'm 19.
And I was like, well, you know,studying is not an option
anymore, so might as well justfind a job.
I ended up working for a farmer, a rancher, out in Delta, and
this guy spoke no Spanish and Ispoke no English.
So we found a way to justcommunicate.
That's awesome, that's awesome.
(18:45):
And he actually came up with theidea of going back to high
school one year.
He's like, hey, just give it ashot, you know, maybe you come
out with some English, you know,after a year.
And I did, I guess myunderstanding was a little
better.
I didn't speak much yeah, um,and the next summer I ended up
working for him again and I mean, it was, it was, it was spring,
(19:07):
because I remember talking tohim and I said, hey, you know
what?
Like, um, now there's thisconversation about, like college
applications and stuff likethat, and you know, some friends
are really excited and he'slike, did you apply and I was
like, yeah, I was like I didapply for Mesa and hearing
Junction, yeah, and he said well, you know what's the worst that
can happen, right, they say no,whatever.
(19:28):
So I get a letter that said hey, you know what?
Like, yeah, you can come uphere, you know you can, you can
enroll in classes so I getaccepted.
Yeah, I talked to this farmerand I mean he, you know, he
became a really good friend.
He said go to college, man,just give it.
You know, like no one knowsanything you know like they
don't know that you'd speak anyenglish.
(19:49):
Maybe you you will at some point, yeah, just go and give it.
You know, give it a shot ifit's not for you, whatever you
know, but you, you'll havesomething to base your
conclusion on.
So I said, okay, you knowwhatever.
So I did farming every summerduring college In Delta with him
for about three years.
(20:11):
And you pick up a little Englishmore every year.
So my English, you know, Iblame my English on this guy.
So I always said that myEnglish was a farming English,
farming English, english on thisguy.
So I I always said that myenglish was a farming english
farming, because it was justlike the f-bomb was.
You know, like every two, everytwo words that you know we had
the f word everywhere.
So when I came to college, Imean I, I did, you know like I
got.
I got more used to the language, yeah, but doing presentations
(20:33):
in one of the classes, man, oneof the hardest things, because
back then I had to stop andtranslate in my head, and not
only that, I had to like pickout the, the f-bomb.
You know from everything that Iwanted to say, because I mean
it was just not just translating, but it was just like I can't
say this in the classroom.
(20:54):
Yeah, yeah, you know this is notgonna right.
So it was one of the toughestthings ever, you know, like just
presenting in front of theclass.
And yeah, I mean I'd say, youknow, back then 75, 80% of my
English came from hanging outwith this guy in the farm.
And, you know, I probablydidn't know how to spell.
(21:15):
You know 50% of the words thatwe were speaking, but I, you
know, I got used know how tospell.
You know 50 of the words thatwe were speaking, uh, but I, you
know, I got used to how to sayhim.
And yeah, I mean the guy, youknow that one of the coolest
things, uh, with this guy was,um, he was, for the most part,
he was always with me, you know,doing stuff and he, he was, he
(21:36):
wanted to hear my perspective onthings.
So he he'll say, hey, you knowwhat, we need to spray this area
right here, because you knowlike there's a lot of weeds and
we want the water to run alittle bit easier or whatever.
And then he'll say, okay, youknow, tell me how you see it.
You know how would you do it.
You know I have an idea in myhead, but tell me how you do it
and I struggled to explainthings, but I mean, I tried and
(21:58):
he created this safe environmentfor us to talk and communicate.
That it was.
You know, like I tried, I tried, I tried and you know, like,
after, let's say, my structure,you know, my way of saying
things was not the perfect wayof saying it, but he will, like
(22:24):
he will stop me and say, hey,you know what, what, like that's
not how you say it, but youknow, like, if you just switch
it this way, you know, justtweak it here and there, like it
would, it would make more sense.
So, yeah, that's, you know,that's where my, my english kind
of came from, the, as I said,you know, probably like three
years during college I did thatevery summer, I would say, at my
mom's and then work for the guyin delta, and the last two
years I worked for um, avineyard in palisade oh palisade
(22:45):
is huge, you know, with grapesand peaches, peaches yeah
yeah, it's famous, I mean, evennationally.
So, um, yeah, I worked for, Iworked for, uh, for nurture in
palisade.
Um, I worked for, worked for,you know for, for a guy with a
with a group.
Uh, the only spoke Spanish, somy English didn't really, uh,
improve there, but I mean it wasreally good work ethic at the
(23:08):
time.
So I think I mentioned this toyou when I, when I moved to
Grand Junction for for collegeand you know I hang out with my
friends and just you know, forcollege, and you know I hang out
with my friends, and just youknow we drove around, whatever
one of the first things thatcame to me was just like we need
more green.
You know we could, we could usemore green.
I know it's part of the desert,you know like we're closer to
(23:30):
utah, but, uh, you know, like Imean even delta is a little bit
greener than Grand Junction.
So I said you know we have therivers here and like it's just
not, we're just not tree active,you know.
So that's what I said.
You know we need more trees.
Later on I said you know what,like what if I would?
(23:55):
You know like, come up with myown tree farm.
You know, like the one my dadworked for for many years.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Many years yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
And so I always had this crazy idea in the back of
you know, like my head, and it'slike thinking about it,
thinking about it.
When me and my ex, you know,got together and we moved in and
everything, uh, she came upwith the idea of, um, just
getting our own place Right andI had already told her about
(24:24):
this, you know tree idea that Ihad and I was like it's not to
make a profit, it's more for meto just see this, just see the
city the way I would like it tolook, like, you know, and if I
can do it with my own hands,like let it.
So my, my ex and I just kind ofgot on it and it's like okay,
you know, like if we're going tofind a place for us, it's going
(24:46):
to be like the house the wayshe wants it, but I want some
land attached to it so I can dosome trees and we ended up
finding a really good uh spot on29.
And yeah, I mean I remember Imean it's, you know it took a
lot of work to to get the houseremodeled the way she wanted it
(25:07):
it was.
I mean took time and everything, but then I did.
I did plan some.
I think it's about two acres oftrees, oh, hell yeah.
And my first, I think the firstorder I got was, I don't know,
six thousand little trees.
I mean they were tiny.
Right now I'd say you know Igot maybe three thousand that
(25:28):
survived, because some of them Imean it's you know you live and
learn right um, some of themare not for the weather that we
have in western colorado, sosome of them died.
Some of them are not for theweather that we have in western
Colorado, so some of them died.
Some of them struggled,eventually died, soil-wise I
mean you know what soil theyneed to and I guess you know,
(25:49):
like the type of soil that wehave in western Colorado Not
perfect, it's not for every tree.
So I do have some that aremaking it.
I mean ash trees are doing well, catalpa trees are doing well
and I have some blue sprucetrees.
The idea next year Hopefully,you know, I get to save some
money I would like to buy someMaple trees and then just run
(26:13):
with it.
See, see how they do.
The idea right now is to plantsome corn.
I don't know, that's an an idea, just, you know, kind of
crossed my head um, I don't know, last month or so, and I talked
to my dad.
It's like now you can give it ashot.
You know, see how that goes.
Um, we have really good corn inolathe, which is um 45 minutes,
(26:33):
50 minutes from here, and it'sit's known, I mean statewide
really.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Yeah, it's sweet, yeah, it's sweet porn and it's
really good.
So, but the elote is fire.
Yeah, yeah, I think yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
So yeah, I mean that that's kind of how the idea came
about and how we got executed.
It's uh again, you know, likeit's not perfect, but uh bro
it's, I'm doing it.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Yeah, you put together a fucking game plan and
you've made it happen, bro.
That's a big deal, man.
You should be very proud ofyourself.
So, since I want to kind ofsegue from the dreams of the
trees, which you're doing rightnow which is awesome into mental
(27:16):
health, okay, but specificallytherapy, because we were
speaking a little bit earlierabout how, as men, and
especially where you grew up inthe culture, that mental health
really isn't a thing or it's notsomething that people strive to
like.
You know.
It's more like you know, pickyourself up, dust yourself off,
you know men don't cry, etc.
(27:37):
Type of thing.
Yourself off, you know, mendon't cry, etc.
Type of thing.
Um, what was your, what wasyour journey to find therapy?
Because you've told me you uhstarted to do with couples
therapy and then, and thenindividual therapy.
What are the things that thatmade you change your mind on
what therapy is to you?
Speaker 2 (27:54):
yeah, I mean it's, it's, it's one of those things.
I I think it's a cultural thing.
At least for me it was for thelongest time because no one
talked about it, right?
I mean, growing up I don'tremember anybody talking about
therapy and you know like all Iknew about psychology was that
it was a class you know inschool.
(28:15):
And you know, but I mean Ididn't have a friend or like a
family member that would talkabout.
Hey, you know what, like I'mgoing to therapy to better
myself or to work on some things.
You know, like I never heardthat.
So you know, once, once I, Iguess I I got to my adulthood
and you know, like, talking topeople, and yeah, I mean I grew
(28:36):
up, grew up with that, with thatmentality of, hey, you know
what, man, you know men don'tcry.
You know, man, you should, youshould be strong enough to to go
through your problems yourself.
And you know it's a bad day ortoo bad.
You know, go to sleep.
And you know, tomorrow morningyou'll try again.
Um, so I, you know, I think Ithink that was that was kind of
a again the mentality that wehad at home too, with my mom and
(28:59):
dad, and I was never introducedto that, I guess you know.
And so when me and my ex, youknow we struggled with the
relationship in some aspects, Imean you bring two personalities
into.
You know, under the same roofthey're going to like you're
(29:22):
going to find rough spots.
You know that friction and youknow, like things that don't
really make sense why?
Because you're trying to bringyou know different values or
different experiences and youmix that together and it doesn't
go well.
So you kind of have to find away to like or help you navigate
those types of situations.
And she was the one that saidhey, you know what we, it would
(29:44):
be good for us to go to, uh, tocounseling.
You know, we, we gotta find,you know, uh, couples therapy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I remember back then I meanshe probably took two years to
convince me.
You know, you're fine.
I was just like no, you know,like, I don't think we need that
, we just have to communicatebetter.
We just have to.
You know like I will find in myhead the logic behind it.
(30:08):
It's like, hey, you know what,like, if we communicate a little
bit better, if I work on thesethings, if you work on those
things, you know we don't needno therapist here.
You know, like I don't know anycouple that goes to therapy.
And then she'll say, and youknow what I, I do like I know
couples that go or have gone,you know, and they came, they
came out of therapy, uh, as abetter couple, right yeah, yeah
(30:29):
and I I fought it for, you know,for several I I would say like
a couple years at, and then wegot to like a really deep spot.
You know in the relationshipthat I ended up saying you know
what, like, ok, let's give it ashot.
You know, let's give it a shot.
In my head I was kind of likechecking out the relationship at
(30:51):
that point I was like, well,you, know like yeah, it was just
like, if it doesn't work out,you know like, at least, yeah,
we tried it.
And we Like, if it doesn't workout, you know like at least, at
least, yeah, we tried it, andand we did, uh, and then I
realized that how, you know,just being able to put it out
there, you just saying thingsout loud, help both of us Right,
(31:13):
because we, we assume a lot ofshit.
You know, we assume a lot ofshit in the relationship and we.
We assume a lot of shit in therelationship and we fought for
some things that were not eventrue.
Right, we were fighting thingsthat were not even there Exactly
.
So we ended up like going totherapy a couple times and like
(31:34):
some things got better.
I'd say, you know, in therelationship Not everything got
better.
I'd say, you know, in in therelationship, not everything.
And you know, we, we still hadthings that we fought and argue
about, um, but we kept tryingand I remember we went from from
that therapist because wethought it was just like, okay,
(31:54):
you know, like it might be weneed therapy, but it might not
be with this person, right?
So we tried differenttherapists.
Uh, we went to like a couple of, uh, you know, yeah, we went to
this guy for a couple of times.
He didn't really click for us.
Yeah, um, what I realized too,you know, with with my ex, is,
(32:15):
uh, that sometimes it's nottherapy itself, it's the person
that's doing it.
You know, with it with my ex is, uh, that sometimes it's not
therapy itself, it's the personthat's doing it.
You know, like you gotta clickwith you with your therapist too
, like it makes sense, like youtrust that person.
You know, like you can open up,like there's something about
him that just just helps you, uh, get out of the shell.
And you know, just be yourselfand be authentic.
(32:35):
So, uh, we ended up findinganother therapist and we went to
her for a few more times and itdid.
I mean, there were so manythings that I think got better.
We just couldn't get over thebiggest issues in our
relationship.
So we ended up breaking up andI was.
(32:58):
I went home, you know, and Ithought to myself, you know what
, like, I'm responsible for whathappened in this relationship.
Right, I'm responsible for mypart.
And I got to find a way toactually list the things that I
(33:19):
can work on and improve on so Ican become a better person, not
because I feel like I'm a badperson can become a better
person, not because I feel likeI'm a bad person, but because
there's some things that perhapsI didn't know, uh, about myself
, about my personality, and so Iended up finding, you know, my,
my own therapist and, uh, nowit's a weekly uh meeting, you
(33:41):
know like I.
Sometimes we do it in person,sometimes we do it over Zoom.
Yeah, and it's what I tell heris I feel like you sit there and
you listen to me a lot, youknow like I talk a lot and she's
like, yeah, but that's goodbecause you know, like he tells
me that you're feelingcomfortable and it helps you
(34:04):
open up with me.
That too.
And one thing you're prettysmart and I can tell you some
things and you'll be like okay,I didn't see it that way.
So, in reality, it's not thatshe's making me or shaping me
into a different person.
She's just helping me identifywho I am first and then, with
(34:25):
that, okay, who do you want tobe?
Right, uh, is this somethingthat you want to improve on or
that's something that, hey, ifit happens, it happens, or is
there something that you wouldlike to explore as part of you
know, the person that you wantto be in the future?
It's.
It's interesting how you know,like breaking these patterns.
Um, it's interesting how youknow, like breaking these
(34:54):
patterns that perhaps you don'trealize you have or you follow
can open up.
You know a conversation,because you know we can sit here
and blame mom, dad.
You know that teacher in highschool, you know that girlfriend
in high school, girlfriend inhigh school.
But in reality, you know, ifyou take action yourself, um you
, you can actually find doorsand those doors will lead to
(35:15):
different roads at the end ofthe day, right?
So who do you want to be like?
That's, that's, you know.
That's the main question.
And do you really want tochange?
Do you really want to do betterhere, more than anything you
know?
For, for me, I guess mentalhealth means being comfortable
with who I am, with my mistakes,you know, with my successes.
(35:36):
You know, like everything thatmakes myself you know the person
I am.
Uh, do I feel comfortable withthat?
Yeah, the good, the bad,everything.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
And you know like one thing that my therapist
mentioned a couple times now.
She said you know like it'sgood for you to go out there and
try to help people, right, butif your cup is halfway, you know
how can you help.
You know, pour into another cup.
You know like you got.
You know pour into another cup.
You know like you gotta refillyour cup first.
Be okay with you.
You know there's a lot ofthings that go into who you are.
(36:15):
You know it could be work-wise.
It could be family-wise,friends.
You know social life uh, I meananything it could be.
It could go down to like howyou're eating.
You know that week.
You know that day Do youexercise?
You know, do you read?
Like all those little piecesmake up who you are and if
(36:36):
you're missing something, or youknow your cup is not completely
full, you got to work on thosethings first before you look,
you know, for the next person tohelp.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
To help.
Yeah, no, that's perfect man.
That's uh.
That's been a lot of my journey, to be honest.
You know, just uh figuring outhow to love myself the best,
figuring out, uh what I need tosucceed, uh what type of people
I need to be surrounded with.
You know, just just just justlearning about myself.
You know my, my flaws, my uhthings I need to work on, and
(37:10):
that's pretty much the wholejourney of this podcast has been
that, like taking, taking alittle bit from you, taking a
little bit from the next personI talked to, going through how I
handled that situation myself.
Oh, why did they do it this way?
Why did I do it this way, youknow, but all of that is filling
my cup up, you know, and andwhen you're not out searching
(37:32):
for it you know what I mean andyou're just trying to take care
of you, it's gonna find you, youknow.
You just can't rush it, that'sjust how it goes.
You know, the best version ofyou is gonna attract what you
deserve or what you need.
So that's the way I'm lookingat it.
That's that's why I'm lookingat.
That's that's why I'm just likeon this grind so hard.
You know what I mean.
Like I'm just I'm working on meright now and and being a good
dad, that's that's the mostimportant thing right now.
(37:54):
So after this, I'm goingchristmas with the kids chilling
, so, um, so cool man, uh, I'mso.
Once a week, huh, that'sawesome.
Once a week, that's that's cool.
So you guys are like waycomfortable.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Yeah, it's already on my schedule and it's, you know
we.
She touches base with me,beginning of you know, like
early in the day, just to makesure everything is cool and
everything is lining up.
There's always the option toreschedule, but for the most
part, like it's set on myschedule and like it's something
(38:26):
that I look forward to, I don'tknow like again, you know, like
it I've talked about thingsthat I probably have not talked
about out loud.
You know, in terms of goingback to that, you know like I
don't wear my emotions, myfeelings you know a lot, so I
don't wear my emotions, myfeelings, you know a lot, so I
(38:47):
don't show them Lucky.
But you know like it'ssometimes it's okay.
You know like sometimes, again,you know, with the right people
it's okay to show it, you know,and more than anything, it
brings you back to who you areand it just reminds you that
you're human, right again?
Speaker 1 (39:09):
we all make mistakes yeah, 100 like we really all do.
It's just you being able toaccept those, the person you're
with, being able to accepttheirs and yours, and I think
that's it.
That's a huge key to likefinding happiness.
Um, so we went through a coupleof chapters of your life, um,
(39:30):
so, not so much about you butabout this place.
Um, from what I've from justarriving, people have told me
that this is like a hot spot forlike mental health reasons, but
not necessarily for the goodpart.
Um, there's a, there's a Ididn't look up the statistics
part Um, there's a, there's a Ididn't look up the statistics I
should have but there's a veryhigh homeless population, very
(39:51):
high.
Um, uh, there's just a lot ofdrugs and and and and and a lot
of things going on here that I'mless aware of than you are.
Um, I know there was a?
Um a methadone clinic that wasunder investigation.
Uh, you kind of helped clearthat up for me too, kind of your
, your thoughts on that, but canyou kind of uh tell me what?
(40:14):
What is the, the energy likehere?
Uh, when it comes to that typeof stuff?
Speaker 2 (40:20):
yeah, it's so in the last few years, uh, I, I've
heard that, I, you know, I, Iit's stories and in the news and
all that we, we do, we are, uh,we rank, you know, a pretty
high in in suicides, not onlystatewide but nationally I think
(40:41):
.
I think grand junction rankspretty high.
Yeah, not a big place and yeah,I mean, you know like it's one
of the crazy things.
And you know like, do I knowthe reason?
Do I know you know what thesolution is?
Probably not, but I, for themost part, I think I think we
compare ourselves.
(41:01):
You know the city we're in, uh,the town we're in, to like
denver and salt lake.
We're in the middle right.
So we're in the town we're into like Denver and Salt Lake,
we're in the middle right, sowe're in the middle of those two
places and people, I thinkpeople dream about, you know,
the Denver life or the Salt Lakelife, and then they come down
to Grand Juniors like dang, youknow like it's slow here.
(41:22):
You know like not many options,you know, and then you start
limiting your beliefs.
Or you know like I thinkthere's a lack of identity.
You know, I don't think peopleare proud to be from Grand
Junction just because they wantto be someplace else, place else
.
One of the craziest things iswhen people move out of Grand
(41:47):
Junction, you know, to a biggercity.
You know they go to California,you know they go to Seattle,
whatever.
You know.
Like five, 10 years down theroad, once they settle down, you
know they have a family or theystart a family, they want to
start a business, whatever.
Then they come back to GrandJunction with different
perspective and it's just like,hey, you know what Grand
Junction with differentperspective and it's just like,
hey, you know what GrandJunction was great, I was the
(42:09):
one that just had the wrong way,I looked at it the wrong way,
so that, unfortunately, peoplehave to get out of Grand
Junction to realize how valuablethis place can be in the very
(42:30):
first episode of the podcast Italk a lot about my sister
because she's like a hero to me.
Speaker 1 (42:33):
You know what I mean, um, and she.
One of the first things shetold me when she left for
college was you gotta leave yourhometown when, when you
graduate, you have to.
You know, like it doesn'tmatter if you go to college or
not, you just gotta go explorethe world's a place.
So she like ingrained that inme.
So, like, what you see heretoday is a product of that
(42:54):
journey.
You know what I mean andtraveling is such a huge part of
that Right, so I think thatmight be a little bit like.
Maybe if you grew up in grand,like was born, raised there,
there, you would have known tolike this isn't the place to be.
But maybe when I retire, youknow, um, shit, shit.
Sorry, I forgot where I wasgoing with that um you just
(43:17):
bring different lenses.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
You know when, when, when you travel, when, when you
see the struggles or thedifferences?
I guess you know, because Imean, as humans, we compare a
lot, right?
Yes, yes, and yeah social media.
Now, I mean you compare yourlife to everyone's life.
Um, but that's a different area.
But I think I think you knowonce you travel.
So you know, like in my head,why, why wouldn't I move to
(43:43):
denver?
You know, that's always been aquestion for you know years,
since you know, with guys I wentto school with, or girls I hang
out with or whatever, like, whywould you pick here instead of
Denver?
Speaker 1 (43:52):
Yeah, why?
Speaker 2 (43:53):
did I stay here after college, right, yeah, yeah, and
you know I looked at Denver andyeah, I mean there's fun, you
know there's options, you knowyou have more restaurants, you
clubs, you know you have, youknow, like, access to music,
whatever cool.
You know like that's that,that's, that's, that's okay with
me and I can go to denver.
You know it's four hours fromhere, you know I can, I can get
in my car and drive denver, noproblem.
(44:14):
Spend, you know, spend friday,saturday and sunday.
They come back, you know, uh,late sunday.
And you know, for work onmonday, um, the thing for me to
live in in in a Denver, I meantraffic is huge, right, I mean
it takes an hour to get you knowfrom point A to point B here.
I mean it takes 10 minutes.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
I know, I know.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
That's one Two crime, right?
I mean, if I have to watch myback, you know everywhere I walk
to like that's a big no for me,big no yeah, two, I mean three.
Eventually I want to have afamily right.
Eventually I want to have mykids and I would like my kids to
(44:57):
grow up in a place where Idon't have to like shield them,
I guess from everything.
Speaker 1 (45:03):
Yeah, protect them.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
Yeah, I mean just put them in a good community, the
community will take care of themand eventually they will become
assets for that community.
In a big city, I mean it'simpossible, right I know.
Speaker 1 (45:15):
And what you're doing here.
You're building onto thecommunity with the trees and
everything right.
So it's like there's alreadythat incentive for the community
to help your kids.
Speaker 2 (45:25):
Because you're helping the community, you know,
you're like you're, you'reinvolved, invested and you know
what, like I'm a really bigbeliever of you know you get out
what you put in right.
So the the more you get outthere and the more you you try
to help.
It might not be immediate, butI mean eventually, uh, the
world's gonna look at you and belike, hey, you know what you
(45:46):
deserve, a couple of good things.
You know, here's a good personthat you you need in your life.
You know you, here's a.
You know like a I don't knowlike an opportunity you know to,
for you to I don't know to togrow your business yeah to do
something different you know,become a better asset in the
(46:06):
community.
So, at the end of the day,those are the little things that
you, those are the tradeoffsfor living in a big city like
Grand Junction, exactly.
And sometimes I feel like againwhen we compare.
And this is what I believehappens in Grand Junction is
growing up.
You hear all these amazingstories about Denver, san
(46:29):
Francisco, salt Lake.
Los Angeles, yeah, and thenyou're like hey, you know, I
want that because I don't haveit here, right, and I guess you
focus on it so much that youstart looking, you start to look
down on Grand Junction.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
Oh yeah, that you have to offer.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
Yeah, looking you start to look down on grand
junction yeah.
So when, when these youngsters,I guess, go through life with
that mentality, it's like a no,I like, I don't like that, I
don't want, you know, I want him, don't want to say I'm from
ranch, right, yeah.
And then you get to a pointwhere life gets hard and then
now you can get out of grandjunction because financially.
(47:06):
You know you can't do it, or youhave to take care of mom and
dad or whatever reason thatkeeps you here.
So now you're it's against yourwill, right?
Yeah.
So I think it fucks you up in away that you're like wow, you
know, like I don't have options,right, I don't have limited
options.
So what, what do I do now?
So I talk negatively about I donow.
So I talk negatively aboutGrand Junction.
(47:28):
I talk negatively about itspeople.
You know, well, we have thisand this.
You know, like that's reallygood in Grand Junction, yeah,
but I mean that doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (47:39):
Yeah, that place has this times 10.
Yeah, I get it.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
And I feel like that has created a narrative in Grand
Junction that doesn't help thepeople that believe it and then
transmit that to the next persontoo.
So what I think happens morehere is that people feel stuck
(48:04):
in Grand Junction here is thatpeople feel stuck yeah and
instead of looking at the beautyof grand junction they look at
the struggles.
Speaker 1 (48:12):
I guess, yeah, it's a beautiful place, yeah it is a
beautiful, gorgeous, and youknow we get four seasons here.
Speaker 2 (48:17):
I mean we have access to snow.
I mean we have the mountains,you have the monument to go hike
mountain bike or whatever.
Speaker 1 (48:24):
Yep, good hunting, good fishing and everything and
everything is driving distanceagain you know you want to go to
salt lake.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
Four hours four hours , four hours, I mean can't beat
it we have.
Speaker 1 (48:33):
We have a I mean a medium size airport too yeah,
it's a nice airport, so I thinkit's the nicest in colorado.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
So so you know like it's.
I feel like the narrative justgets too negative yeah and that
affects you know people peopleuh-huh, and then once, once you
face struggles, or once you faceum those big challenges you
know, in life, they, they becomebigger because you're not,
(49:08):
you're not really in a in apositive um you're not seeing it
through a positive lens?
Speaker 1 (49:13):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2 (49:14):
And and and what ends up happening is, you know, it
affects you mentally, sophysically you don't want to be
here, right.
So mentally you have achallenge.
You you think and talknegatively about.
You know where you are, who youare, who you're with, yeah, so
what ends up happening is youknow, unfortunately.
You know, I wouldn't say it'san easy exit, but I mean suicide
(49:37):
becomes an option.
I wouldn't say like it's whatit crosses your mind, a lot
easier than if you were in ahappy spot.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
Yes, absolutely so, if you're happy.
Speaker 2 (49:48):
You know like I get it.
You know like we're going tosee people die.
You know you're going to see.
You know, friends, family,loved ones die.
But when you're good with thememories, when you're good with
yourself, you know, losing aperson becomes more of a
(50:10):
celebration of hey.
You know what I got toexperience some things with this
person.
Yeah, because in mexico, that's, you know, we have the other
muertos, which is a celebrationof the death.
Not necessarily we celebratepeople dying.
Speaker 1 (50:22):
We celebrate their memories?
Speaker 2 (50:24):
yeah, so, hey, you know what I know?
Like, we have an altar for mygrandpa.
We're not celebrating that hedied, we're celebrating that we
got to spend a lot of time withhim and we got stories with him
that we can pass on to the youngones that perhaps didn't get to
see him, right, yeah, so whatends up happening is we look at
(50:45):
death as a way to remind us thatwe're human, uh, that we're all
going to get there but at theend of the day, are you happy
with the memories that you gotto build, you know, with with
that person?
yeah, I've always thought, youknow, like, I've always talked
about my, my death.
You know, like I do, I want todie, no, um, but I know it's
(51:08):
going to happen.
And when I talk to my friends,when I talk to my family, I've
always said, hey, you know what,like, I don't want you to cry,
I'm not going to be around.
You can cry, but whatever, Idon't want you to cry.
Why I want you?
I want you to be happy, I wantyou to uh, to bring a band, you
know, a lot of noise, justbecause that's who I was right.
Uh, I want you to make a partya lot of food, a lot of beer,
(51:30):
you know like get my friends andget what.
What I would like it to looklike is just have a podium and
during the day, you know, havepeople go to the mic and then
just talk about memory yeahstory that we we got to share,
and you know what I rememberback in college, when they did
this and this and I didn't evenlaugh about it, so I'm not going
(51:53):
to be there.
So I don't know what it's goingto look like.
But, if I could pick you knowhow that would look like that
would be my ideal way of going.
You know, going away thatsounds Because I don't want my
mom.
You know like if my mom's alive, I don't want my mom crying.
You know, I don't want myfriends, I want my, you know, my
wife, my kids, you know, to cryabout it.
(52:13):
It's just like, hey, you knowwhat this is part of life.
Speaker 1 (52:16):
It was his time, but let's remember all the memories,
yeah we can grieve for a littlebit, but they're going to want
us to not stop our lives, us tonot stop our lives, and you know
people kill themselves afterother people die.
You know like people go to thethe bottle really hard.
You know like that's a thing,um, yeah, so I'm really glad you
said that, because it is acultural difference.
(52:38):
You know, we don't have a dayof the dead over here or
anything like that.
Um, I think, uh, I think we gotpretty much all the information
that I wanted to get man.
Um, I wanted to get man.
I wanted to say thank you somuch for doing this.
I really appreciate it.
We'd be going longer if Ididn't have this tattoo.
Sorry, autumn, my bad, butbefore I go, do you want to
(53:02):
shout anybody out or do you wantto say any thank yous or
anything like that?
Speaker 2 (53:07):
First of all, I would like to thank you.
You know, I think I think whatyou're trying to, the message
that you're trying to send out,you know to, to the whole
community, is amazing.
Uh, more than anything, I Ithink you know we're moving
towards a a good spot with withmental health.
I think we're opening up moreas a society to it.
(53:27):
There's still a lot of work tobe done, yeah, and yeah I mean,
just find your happy place, findyour safe spot.
You know to do it, and itdoesn't mean that you're weak,
it just means that you're humanjust like everyone else, and you
know we all have differentstruggles.
Speaker 1 (53:46):
I think you know we touch on not judging people
without actually getting to knowtheir stories.
Yes, and it's important, it'svery important.
Speaker 2 (53:54):
I've been judged for how I look like right or how I'm
dressing up, or whatever.
Speaker 1 (54:00):
Yeah, how I talk, whatever yeah.
Speaker 2 (54:01):
So you know like it's not a good start.
And that's the society we haveum we have become, I guess yeah
and it's something.
It's something that we couldreally work on, and social media
is not all real right yeah, noproblem your life is just as
good as you know, uh, the personnext to you and it.
(54:22):
you know one thing that I Ilearned I mean I got off social
media a couple of years ago, andone thing that I learned I mean
I got off social media a coupleof years ago and one thing that
I learned was you will neversee a person posting the shit
that really happens to them.
You know like they post goodstuff.
Speaker 1 (54:38):
Unless you're me, you go on my show.
You're like man this guy'sdepressed, no, but you know what
?
Like it's real right Peoplepost.
Speaker 2 (54:45):
You know all the happy shit.
You know the money, the carsthe house, but I mean when you
go to jail you're not takingpictures, fuck.
No, I spent three days.
You know it sucks.
Speaker 1 (54:57):
Selfie I got beat up.
Nope, nope.
Speaker 2 (55:00):
So don't compare your life to social media, people or
personalities or whatever.
Speaker 1 (55:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (55:06):
At the end of the day , you know, just just just, be
responsible with your life, makegood decisions out there.
Um, I, I do believe that.
You know I was telling you I I'ma big believer in fate yeah so
you will eventually find yourspot where you need to be with
the person you need to be, andit's it was it was meant to be
that way, right?
So it just don't, don't rush it.
(55:28):
It's more about who you hangout with, the decisions that you
make and every decision thatyou make, even if it's the wrong
one, you can always make aU-turn and come back and fix it.
Do it differently.
I read this quote in a bookthat said hey, sometimes you get
on the wrong train, right andit's fine.
(55:50):
But the longer that you realizeyou're on the wrong train, the
more expensive your way back.
And then it said at the bottomwe're not talking about trains,
we were talking about decisionsin life.
Speaker 1 (56:03):
Fucking life, yeah.
Speaker 2 (56:04):
So yeah, I mean you know like it's.
It's OK if you make mistakes.
It's OK if you know like you'renot the perfect person who you
want to be at the moment.
Yeah, but it's.
It starts with little decisions.
You know, the way you wake upin the morning, you know, like
the yeah, I mean it's just.
It's just little pieces thatmake up this big puzzle.
(56:27):
And if you're always lookingfor happiness, as a result of
something.
You'll never get there, because,I mean, happiness is not a
result of anything, it's morehow you feel, right, how you
feel, and it's, you know, like,if this and this happens, then
you know I'm going to be happy.
Yeah, I mean, you're looking atit the wrong way.
(56:47):
It's more like like, okay, I'mhappy with who I am.
Can I do better, can I do more?
And let's explore that.
But wasn't that, bro?
You know, it's uh, it's life.
Uh, life will happen, if we'rehere or not.
One thing that I learned withthe trees is, if you want to
leave a legacy, plant a tree.
That's, that's something Ilearned nice, I love that and
(57:09):
yeah, I mean for those you knowthat have never made it to grand
junction.
It's a beautiful place.
We're really welcoming and comecheck it out.
You know we have outdoors, uh,throughout the year pretty much.
So you know it's a beautifulplace.
It's getting a little bit moreexpensive that now that people
are finding it figuring it outbut if you know it's, um, it's a
(57:30):
really cool spot for me, it'sit's home and you know if I, if
I get to make a difference outthere, uh, one day at a time,
you know great, uh, the work Ido is is mainly to improve
myself and again, just have thatthat you know, full cup to when
I get the chance.
Help you know the person thatright next to me, right, um, we
(57:54):
have the university in grandjunction, we can we get to see
talent a lot yeah, all firsthandyeah so I, I do see big things
for grand junction.
Um, you know down the road andyeah yeah, I mean, if you make,
if you make it down here foranything, um, yeah, my, my farm
(58:14):
is pg farm, so, uh, eventually Iwill have thousands of trees
and that will be the dream,right?
So come check it out.
You can always you can alwaysask for jorge.
I don't think there's manyJorge's out there.
It's easy to find me and, ifnot, just Google the Farm and
you'll find it.
Speaker 1 (58:32):
There you go.
Thank you, awesome, bro.
Thank you so much, jorge.
You want to drop me off at thetattoo shop?
Yeah, let's do it Awesome.
All right, thank you everybodyfor listening One of my favorite
podcasts so far, and peace.
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