Hanging with Humans Podcast | Episode 15 | Remington Shideler - Hanging with Humans

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to the Hanging with Humans podcast.
It's me, rj.
I'm here with a really specialguest, a buddy of mine.
He came to visit down fromBozeman over here in eastern
Montana, and he's a buddy ofmine.
He's the first person to fly inand do the podcast.
So that's a big deal for me,because this is a this whole

(00:27):
thing is a big deal for me.
So do you want to go ahead?
Introduce yourself to everybody?

Speaker 2 (00:32):
sure names Remington and lived in Bozeman, montana,
last 14 years from there.
Came up from Arizona with myfolks and I was still in high
school.
They had big aspirations forbusiness up there and yeah,
before that just kind oftraveling around a lot out of

(00:52):
the country, here and there,nice, nice.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
Yeah, I grew up traveling a ton as well and I
think those experiences kind ofshaped me into who I am.
Do you think, reflecting backon your childhood and the
traveling, is there a lot oflessons you pulled from that
time that you kind of use inyour life today?

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Yeah, I mean it taught me a lot of good and the
bad of being so unstable.
I mean it taught me a lot ofgood and the bad of being so
unstable.
I guess, moving around thatmuch you never really get to
make a lot of deep connections,meaningful friendships.
But I was always good at makingfriends, more so acquaintances

(01:42):
than real good friends.
But I got good at just gettingalong with a lot of people.
And those are the pros and thecons of the con being you know
you're never around long enoughin one spot to really care
enough to kind of dive into adeep friendship with somebody

(02:02):
because you know you're probablynot going to see them in six
months that's very true.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
Um, I I feel like my upbringing was different than a
lot of my friends and a lot ofthem envy the travel life but
they don't really get to see thesides of that.
You know like the toll it cantake on you.
We don't get to make thoseconnections and attachments with
kids, your age and stuff likethat.

(02:28):
It hinders your progress as anadult.
So going through like achronological timeline of your
life is kind of how I do it onthe podcast is to kind of get to
know you better.
We have a mutual friend of ours, dylan, my boy.
We met through that.
You guys are roommates and wehad a trip together.

(02:49):
We went to Flathead Lake andthe 4th of July and we had a
wonderful time.
So thanks for being a soliddude.
That was a fun, fun-ass trip.
I was gonna ask you this whatis your ethnic background?
I'm half Korean on my mother'sside and half German on my

(03:13):
father's.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
Is your father a big, tall, stout German man.
He's not stout, but he'sshorter than me, so I think he's
like five eight8" maybe no, Idon't know About 5'10".

Speaker 1 (03:28):
If you were to think of where your character or your
attitude of who you are, does itcome from?
Your mother or your father?
You would say or is itsomething you've developed all
this way?

Speaker 2 (03:41):
Character and attitude.
I think it was kind of born outof rebellion against the both
of them.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
You know, obviously the older I got, the more
separated I got from them, butthe further I pushed to be away
from them and not like them wespoke earlier about a friend of
mine that is going through athing with their parents and it

(04:13):
was like eye opening to me butlike good to hear that somebody
like yourself although it's ahard thing to do, but to be like
I can't be a part of your lives, even though we share the same
blood, you know, even though, um, it's crazy, like, like.
I didn't have that experience,but a lot of people don't know

(04:36):
what that's like to be able tojust like, like it's got to be
that gnarly and dramatic inorder for you to have to be like
okay yeah, a lot of people gethung up on the stigma of oh,
it's family, so you gotta, youcan't just abandon them.

Speaker 2 (04:51):
But you know, it's like blood's thicker than water,
but it'll drown you just thesame.
Yeah, uh, yeah, yeah, people.
To this day, people trip outwhen I tell them I say, you know
, I do not have contact with myparents.
I cannot have contact with myparents for my own mental health
sake.
You know, it's just the nexttime I speak to them will be to

(05:16):
handle their funeralarrangements, and that's
probably hard for a lot ofpeople to wrap their heads
around it.
But again, yeah, until you'vebeen through that situation,
then, yeah, it's tough tounderstand I get it, yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:30):
yeah, it seems a bit intense, but like if your life,
your childhood, was that intense.
There's a reason why you'retaking that approach, so it's
very understandable, for sure.
So, with childhood being likethat, can you, on the flip side,
can you think of one of yourfavorite childhood memories,

(05:55):
maybe like preteen era orsomething?

Speaker 2 (05:59):
Yeah, Because it was all kind of fucked up like that
whole stretch.
It was a wild ride, man.
Start to finish that.
Some of the happiest memorieswas when my dad was in prison
and it was just me and my momand two of my older brothers.

(06:20):
We were just living in atrailer home down in Arizona, so
it wasn't glamorous, but we hadthat tight family bond.
I got to see my brothers almostevery day.
My mom was there and she waslike a solid rock.
She was a strong woman whenshe's not around.

(06:42):
My dad yeah, yeah, being fromKorea during the war, she was
basically orphaned herself andCame over the United States when
she was 13, didn't speak anyEnglish.
She's used and abused by herown relatives, you know, had to
make it herself in this world.

(07:02):
She did.
She's very hard-ass type-apersonality.
Yeah, yeah, she's got so sheheld it down.
But I'd say that's probablysome of my fondest memories is
just actually having somesemblance of family.
Yeah, you know that waspossible.

(07:22):
Now I look back on it becausemy dad was sitting in a prison
cell that's the only happy time,so that's pretty crazy.

Speaker 1 (07:31):
Um, your mom was a rock, but it is.
She just turns bad when yourdad's in the picture.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
That's she becomes very codependent.
So my father's a ragingnarcissist, which we all know.
You know a narcissist is prettygood at playing the fake alpha
male, yeah, and so her being oftraditional korean descent too,
you know, she kind of alwayswanted to follow that role of

(08:01):
let the man lead, you know headof the household type thing, and
so when he shows up she kind ofsubjugates herself to that role
of being a follower and uh,yeah, I mean he's just not a
great leader.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
Yeah, uh, somebody's not a great leader should not
believe in people.
Um, a great leader should notbe leading people, um at all.
Uh, how old are you?
Just turned 30.
Um, I wrote it down and I thinkwe talked about it before, but
like the word restart uh came upand I think maybe we talked

(08:42):
about, like both of us maybe.
Um, I'll get all kind ofcircled back to to the restart
part, but to stay in the orderthat we're at, I got dad cartel
prison.
I guess these are happy timesfor you because he's away.
Can you kind of explain whatlife is like your dad's in the
cartels?
He's in and out of prison.

(09:02):
That's what I got down righthere.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
So a little bit of it .
It's a little skip back andforth.
A little bit of backstory is mydad.
He became fairly hypersuccessful as a young guy, like
really young around I don't knowexactly to this date, but he
was, I think, 13 when he becamepretty famous.

(09:31):
And there was this old singernamed Pat Boone and he was he
like endorsed my father when hewas a kid.
So that's kind of what got mydad onto the Johnny Carson show.
My dad was doing sound effectsand all these things in
Hollywood at the time.
So he made a lot of money whenhe was young, didn't, which you

(09:51):
know, when people make a lot ofmoney when they're young, they
don't tend to develop great lifeskills.

Speaker 1 (09:58):
You see it in a lot of child actors.

Speaker 2 (09:59):
Yeah, they burn all their money really quick and for
the longest time, you know, Ididn't know if I believed my dad
or not.
But then I saw, you know, you'dsee an odd newspaper clipping
of him performing, and to thisday I still see people selling
headshots of him on eBay.
That's crazy.
When he was like 14.
Right, so I'm like, okay,there's at least some truth to
it.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
Yeah, but that's crazy that, at that young of an
age though, to be at that level.

Speaker 2 (10:25):
Yeah, yeah.
And so you know you make a lotof money that young.
I think that really affects younegatively and cause he'd gone
to school to become a teacherbut obviously never did that.
And then I think he just kindof got into doing some weird
shit, got into like heavyconspiracy theories which I got.
Nothing against conspiracytheories.

(10:45):
I think they're fun, yes, okay,and a lot of them do turn out
to be true every once in a whileso you know you can't knock
them till you try them, but youknow he would.
He would just take things to anextreme that put the family in
unnecessary strife andunnecessary risk.

(11:06):
You know like he'd be storingguns and ammunition in our
garage for the local militias,so he'd have like 50,000 rounds
of whatever and then 65 AK-47sstacked up on the wall.
And you know the government'slike what are you doing?
Is there a reason you have thisarsenal?

(11:28):
Yeah, sitting around, you know.
And then he and his buddy usedto pull weird.
Um, I call it a scam because,at the end of the day, to me
it's a scam.
But uh, they would figure outthese weird old archaic laws and
shit that's still technicallygray area, right.
It's like if you look at aMontana law book and they still

(11:51):
have a law from 100 years agothat says a woman can't walk on
the sidewalk when accompanied bya man, do they enforce it?
No, but it's still technicallya law.
So they somehow or anothermanaged to use these old
government bonds to uh acquirelike 13 or 14 brand new range
rovers without having to pay forthem.

(12:13):
That's crazy stuff like that.
And so the government, you know, got the complaint and they
were like okay, we see what youdid there.
Technically it's not illegal,but it's technically pretty
shady move.
We're going to keep our eye onyou.
And you know he kept getting introuble with little things like
that.
He wanted to build a 14 cargarage in scottsdale, arizona,

(12:35):
and the city said no, so westarted building it anyway
without permits and that waskind of their in to come after
him and they tried to sue himand so then we run to Mexico
instead of standing and fightinglike a normal person would.
Yeah, that's how we get toMexico, right?
Yeah, I had to give you alittle bit of that backstory.
Yeah, that makes perfect sense.

(12:55):
And jump ship to Mexico.
I'm really little, like four orfive maybe and we're I think
we're staying in this apartmentfor a while and my godparents
they're actually Mexican.
Guadalajara is where we endedup and then my godfather,

(13:17):
fernando, yeah, hooked us upwith one of his childhood
buddies and he goes.
You know this guy's got a lotof money.
He's a lawyer, big guy I'veknown since I was a kid.
It says you can stay in hisguest villa whenever we get
there.
You know it's like massivecompound walls, everything you
know.
I remember this because Iwatched he used to watch the vhs

(13:39):
tapes of the team we lived downthere.
But, yeah, like a pool, hisdaughter had a house.
He had a guest house, a littlepavilion for fiestas.
It turns out this guy had somuch money as an attorney
because he was the head lawyerfor the Sinaloa cartel at the

(13:59):
time.
So we're hanging outbuddy-buddy with the head honcho
that takes care of all thecartel boys when they get in
trouble.
Yeah, and you know, anotherstupid thing my dad does is like
, hey, we need a ride.
You know we can't get aroundthe city without a car.
Yeah, so lawyers like I gotsomething you can borrow and I

(14:22):
can't remember what it is, but Iit was a Dodge of some kind.
It looked like a.
Suburban slash Bronco like itwas just a big boxy thing, it
was a Ram Charger Something, butit was all blacked out, heavy
tint chromed out.
It was just to the nines.
I remember one day the lawyerasked for it back.

(14:43):
He's like, hey, I actually needto get that car back.
My dad's like, no, no, no, wegot to use it.
We got to use it.
Long story short, we ended uptaking that fucker back to the
US with us.
Really, but it was, you know.
Years later my brother told meit was one of the few vehicles
that they made custom for thecartel members, like they take

(15:06):
to the shop.
And just the only cartel guysdrove that in that sector.
And you know, I'm thinking backon it when I'm older.
I'm like what if we weredriving around?
Yeah, you know, the op sees usand goes, hey, we know who
drives that.

(15:27):
Then you see on the newsAmerican families slain in the
streets of Mexico, blah, blah,blah.
But you know, like, obviouslymy dad wouldn't think of that
because he doesn't give a shit,he's a narcissist.
So, yeah, you know, just shitlike that he would do, put the
family in scenarios like that.
But we were down in Mexico for,like think, close to three

(15:50):
years and the whole time it wasjust because he was trying to
dodge the government.

Speaker 1 (15:58):
You know, just laying low in Guadalajara, yeah, but
not really laying low because hedoesn't know how to Right.

Speaker 2 (16:06):
And then we come back to the US eventually and by
that time I was able to speakfluent Spanish, a couple of my
brothers too.
That's legit.
And I remember it was thefunniest thing because we landed
in the airport and we'rewalking around and I grabbed my
mom and I said, wow, all thesepeople speak the same language
as me.
You know, because I just camefrom Mexico where it grabbed my
as me.
You know, I just came fromMexico where it's like, only my

(16:27):
family spoke English.
So that's because I got thatlittle memory just burned in my
head something wow, this is nice, yeah, you know.
And then after we got backshortly thereafter, he ended up
getting picked up in the US andI think somebody turned on one

(16:51):
of his buddies or something,probably, and so that started
the whole snowball effect andobviously he had to stay in jail
now until the trial was upbecause the flight risk.
So long story short, he getssentenced to five years of
prison.
Max security, rincon unit.

(17:14):
So that's good.
Tucson, arizona, every otherweek to visit not very fun, so
Arizona.

Speaker 1 (17:23):
Not very fond memories, so Arizona.
I think I don't think this isthe right order.
Montana wheat business, that'slater.
Right, those were those teenyears Exactly.
Are we still in Arizona when westart to talk about your
brother?
Can we talk about, yeah, justyour immediate family, like

(17:47):
who's who and the names and agesand everything?

Speaker 2 (17:50):
yeah, I've got some of the youngest of five boys.
I've got four older brothers,two from my mother and two from
my father, so they're all myhalf brothers, all related by
blood but from previousmarriages.
So that's why I've got onebrother who's blonde hair blue
people like to wonder about thatyou guys have family photos

(18:12):
where everyone's looking alldifferent yeah, yeah, we gotta
manage a few, but there's such adrastic age difference between
all the boys.
You know me being the young,like'm the baby, baby.
The next one after me is 10years older.
That's crazy.
And then my oldest brother.
He's 15 years older.

Speaker 1 (18:36):
So it goes me, jake, ty, josh and Nate, at this time
of your life, one of the thingswe're going to get into the
chapters.
I don't know if this is theright order or not, but your
brother that passed, which isthat brother?

Speaker 2 (18:48):
we can go to this now , or if you have stuff to fill
in before that yeah, when myfather finally got out of prison
I was around 12 and then westayed in Arizona for a couple
more years just kind of gettingresituated after he got back.
And during that time we werekind of back and forth to

(19:14):
Indiana is where my dad's familywas grandpa uncle and so my dad
was trying to salvage some ofthose businesses that his dad
had spent the money on.
And then we get a phone callone day and it's my brother Ty.
He'd been in a real bad carwreck and I guess it was a
head-on collision.

(19:35):
His truck rolled a number oftimes, they had to cut him out
of it.
So my mom and I flew down andmy dad, he'd kind of stayed back
and forth because he wasfighting the court trying to
save some properties from thebank Indiana, yeah.
And so I was staying out in CasaGrande with my brother my

(19:58):
oldest brother and we werevisiting my other brother, ty,
who was in the hospital.
He had both shattered kneecaps,broken ankle, so he had a
really rough time with recoverybut he was really strong I mean
he was a bodybuilder at the time.
So even the doctor said if hehadn't had such a thick chest

(20:19):
that the steering columnprobably would've caused enough
damage to kill him because italmost taped his chest in.
So that's kind of a pivotalpart of the story too.
They took him one forced traumato the chest so he had massive
pecs and it helped fromcompletely.

(20:39):
Yeah, he had so much meat onhis chest that it saved him.
So he ends up being confined toa wheelchair for a long time
and you know, unfortunatelyduring that time he got hooked
on some pain pills, went throughthat whole ringer for a few
months, eventually moved on toyou know, a little grainy walker

(21:01):
, then he could use a cane andthen finally he was walking on
his own.
But and then he was able tokick his habit.
And, you know, interesting andinterestingly enough, that's
when he kind of had this callingto the Lord at the time and he

(21:22):
started getting really heavyinto his Bible study and, um,
just getting more spiritual ashe recovered and um, I think you
know that may have been kind oflike his extension to just kind
of he was given a second chanceto reset himself, you know, and

(21:45):
find peace within himself andget right with God.
And you know, because just a fewshort months after that, you
know, I get a phone call fromhim.
It was 4th of July and you knowhe was spending it with his
girlfriend and I was like, hey,man, like man, my birthday's

(22:06):
July 22nd.
So I was like, birthday'scoming up, you're going to come
up, you know, da, da, da da.
I just remember that was thelast conversation we had.
And he goes yeah, man, ofcourse I'll see you there.
And then you know, it's likefour days later we get the phone

(22:27):
call that he's gone.
And you know, it's just one ofthose things that I don't think
you're ever really ready, nomatter what, to hear that kind

(22:48):
of shit.
Yeah, and then you know to hearit's.
It's like a domino effect.
You're just watching all these.
It's like in my head I runthrough the scenario of 9-11
watch one tower collapsing likefuck, and then you see the other
tower collapsing and you'rethinking what next?
And then another building goesdown for no reason.

(23:10):
And you know I'm watching myfather and then I'm watching my
mother, you know, and to hear amother lose her child is
probably the most haunting soundyou'll ever hear in your life.
Yeah, to this day it's burnedinto my brain and you know.

(23:35):
So you were 14.
Yeah, I was about to turn 14, sothat's kind of the time I was
was just like, yeah, I guess I'mdone with birthdays because I'm
not really in the mood to doanything a week after I buried
my brother.
But I guess what had happenedwas because of that blunt force

(23:59):
trauma he took to the chest, itcaused damage on his heart like
actual physical damage, and theydidn't pick it up on any of the
EKGs and they didn't bother tocome back and check.
So what happened was, becauseit took so much trauma, when it
healed it enlarged and it wasdouble the size of a male heart,

(24:24):
it was massive.
So he started getting what hethought were panic attacks.
He'd have to lay down in themall, but he was having
miniature heart attacks.
So he told the doctors theywere like, oh, no problem,
you're just having anxiety.
It's no big deal.

(24:44):
Here's some medication thatwill calm you down, just take it
before bed.
And he ends up taking it beforebed and that, you know, slow
his heart rate, combined with analready slow heart, because you
know, contrary to popularbelief, you'd think a big heart
could pump better, but theyactually pump way slower.
So those two combined juststopped his heart all together

(25:10):
in his sleep and, yeah, he justnever woke up from it.

Speaker 1 (25:14):
That's crazy.
I mean not that there's goodparts of it, but like that's not
the worst way to go out.

Speaker 2 (25:22):
Oh, absolutely it's.
I'm just thankful it was apeaceful passing.

Speaker 1 (25:29):
That's amazing.
And it's crazy that he almostescaped death again Like very
crazy.
Did he live up, like do youlive up his life more after the
accident?
Like did he have a new lease,Did he like try new things, or?
Or you know how was his?

Speaker 2 (25:47):
he didn't really have the time, but it was more so.
He kind of did have the chanceto mature In that time that he
was given.
You know, I definitely saw himtransform into more of a man
than ever before.
He was only 25 when he passed.

(26:08):
That's crazy.
I mean, the guy was loved byeverybody.

Speaker 1 (26:17):
Bodybuilding.
That was a big thing for him.
I was going to ask with all thetraveling, did you guys play
sports?
Because I feel like sometimesit's harder when moving around.

Speaker 2 (26:29):
Oh for sure um, I was heavily heavy into martial arts
growing up, so I do a lot ofcombat sports jiu jitsu,
taekworo.
But even that's tough because alot of it goes by a belt system
and every time you switch to anew gym they're always like oh,

(26:51):
you're going to start here oryou're going to start you there.
But I did that up until I wasabout 16.
After that high school I didsome wrestling and after
wrestling I said said, I'm justgonna focus on lifting weights
and getting stronger and biggerkids old um is uh, I mean you're

(27:16):
, we've traveled, you know, kindof together, I've been around,
you're pretty dialed in to yournutrition and your diet.

Speaker 1 (27:24):
Um, has that always like when?
When you made that switch thento the body like, is that, when
you uh like nutrition wise andeverything all together, it
being a complete system for you?
Like bodybuilding, uh, did youlike what's the question?
You're trying to ask Somethingabout bodybuilding.

(27:46):
When did I get serious?
Yeah, when did you get serious.

Speaker 2 (27:49):
That's what I was going for.
Well, you know, after mybrother passed, I just and
ironically enough, like a monthbefore he passed too I asked him
to start training me, you know.
So we never really got that.
You know, I used to work outwith him.
Every once in a while when Iwas little.
He'd be out in the yard pumpingiron and I'd just be out there

(28:11):
trying to mimic him.
So to me, you know, liftingweights has always been kind of
a way of carrying on his legacy.
It's something that I feelclose to my brother doing that,
and it's always been somethingthat's been within my control.
You know, like no matter what'sgoing on in life, the roof

(28:33):
could be falling in on me andit's like I can still control
what I put in my body and how Imake my body look, because no
matter how much money you've got, you can't buy the muscles that
Arnold Schwarzenegger had, ashe had to go out and build it
same with everybody individually.
You know, that's something yougot to earn and to me that's

(28:56):
that's an important aspect inlife too.
When you see somebody that'sgot a good physique, you know or
at least would assume that theyunderstand discipline,
understand.
You know dedication and what ittakes to achieve that.
It's not easy sacrifice and uhyeah so I mean after you know,
breast.
If I could do it over again, Iprobably wouldn't do wrestling

(29:18):
in high school, because thatkind of taught me some up
guiding you know we always wantyou to come down kind of taught
me some fucked up dieting youknow they always want you to cut
down.
I had to lose 15 pounds towrestle at this weight class.
And so you know, when Igraduated high school, I was
like 155 pounds and I saidenough of this staying small
business, I'm going to get big,I'm going to do it up.

(29:41):
So that's when I really divedinto it.
So I was like you know,training when I really dived
into it.
So I was like you know,training when I was in high
school, but it wasn't to get asbig and strong as possible, it's
just for athleticism.
And then when I switched over toweight training at around 17 18
, that's when it took me acouple of years to really hone

(30:02):
everything in because I had tolearn it all myself.
You know YouTube and all thatwas still pretty new in terms of
fitness influences.
It's not nearly as saturated asit is today.
You had a few key people youhad to kind of sift through and
figure out what is and what is aBS, what actually works and
what doesn't.
Build your programming and onceyou've found it, stick with it

(30:26):
and go.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
If you those numbers, like the numbers, don't lie
Like if you stick to it, yourmacros and everything you do it
it's gonna work.
The muscles are gonna go onyour body.
This is a question.
So, with your family there'slike some mental illness with,
I'm assuming, right with mom anddad.
Do you think any of that sortof stuff trickled down with

(30:52):
brothers, sisters, anything?

Speaker 2 (30:56):
I don't think necessarily mental illness, but
definitely causation, trauma,just being around it hard for so
long, being engrossed in it.
You know, and you know, I seethat I see the effects still in

(31:19):
my brothers today, even thoughthere's so much older.
You know, it was a littledifferent for them because, like
I said, they were all my halfbrothers.
They had other parents thatthey could go off to, and in
fact all of them did eventually,one by one.
He said my two brothers madetime.
They left, went with their dad.
Um, jake went with his mom outto california.

(31:42):
Josh went with his mom out toCalifornia.
Josh went with his mom out toIndiana.
But for me I was like this ismom and dad.
I'm stuck.
And when that's your influence,man, it's like being in a cult
because you wanna assume mom anddad wanna take care of you in
the best possible way.

(32:03):
Those are your parents.
You never would think that.
Oh, they're so effed in thehead that they're thinking about
themselves first and not yourneeds.
You know it's.
You know my mom used to always,anytime she'd get mad, she'd
throw it in my face like, wellyou, you're clothed, aren't you?
You're fat, aren't you?

(32:23):
You got a roof over your head.
I'm like yeah, you know,congratulations, you've
encountered some bare minimum asa parent.
Yeah, like that is your legalobligation.
In fact, if you don't do thosethings, guess what the
government comes fuckingknocking.
So you know, I guess, a prettypiss poor.

Speaker 1 (32:39):
You know that you did the bare fucking minimum yeah,
I guess every generation likekind of had a little worst
before us.
So they I don't know.

Speaker 2 (32:49):
Oh yeah, I mean, you know, I don't for a second
forsake or think my mom didn'thave it easy, but she's a
fucking war torn orphan, right,that's why she's so hardcore, um
, but at the same time, it'slike you know, and my father was
not the best disciplinarian, hewas very militaristic.

(33:10):
One of you fucks up, you're allgetting your ass beat.
And my mom saw that a littletoo late, you know, but by the
time she had me, she pulled mydad inside.
She was like listen, you're notgoing to touch remington, I
would discipline him.
You were too over the boardwith all the other boys.

(33:31):
Now, if anybody grew up with animmigrant parent I don't know if
that's a saving grace or notthey would look your fucking ass
up the wall.
I remember clearly one day Iwas like 10 or 11 and I don't
even know what my mom was madabout.
I just remember she grabbed thebroom and she smashed it over

(33:54):
my back so hard it snapped andthen she got pissed because the
broom broke.
So I had, like the old school,first gen Xbox where you got to
put the audio visual cable.
Yeah, yeah, rip that out, usedit as a whip on me, you know,
and I'm just like I don't evenremember what.
What got her so fired up?
But you know that's, that's animmigrant mom for you.

(34:16):
You know they won't hold backeither.
So, but you know, I do believein discipline.
I do believe that so, but youknow, I do believe in discipline
.
I do believe that having ahealthy respect and fear of your
parents teaches you to be amoldable, coachable, teachable
adult.
So it's not like I hold a badaspect against them.
I think discipline's a goodthing.

(34:37):
They just weren't the best atgauging the way they did it.

Speaker 1 (34:45):
I agree.
I agree with all of that.
You have a daughter Do youdiscipline a lot differently
than your parents.

Speaker 2 (34:54):
Yeah, definitely.
Also because they never had anydaughters.
I was supposed to be theirdaughter.
That's why they had me so late.
They thought maybe we'll get adaughter.
You got a lunch.
So you know, I believe daughtersneed to be disciplined.
Different than sons, they'remore gentle, you know, and

(35:15):
especially her at her age.
She's only three.
So for them it's mostlypsychological.
You know, I still I pat her onthe butt, but I do it so gentle
that it takes her.
She has almost a delayedreaction because she has to
realize that I've even pattedher and then she'll, you know,
get upset, and then she'll stillcome to me for comfort and I'll

(35:37):
calm her down and then we moveon from that.
Yeah, yeah, A much differentapproach.
So, yeah, you know, I stillenforce rules with Eric, because
you know, I've got rules formyself.
I don't negotiate with childrenand I don't negotiate with the
mentally ill.
Listen, you're three years oldand I'm 30.

(35:57):
We're not having thisconversation.
It's yes or no.
I'm dead.
You're my daughter.
I'm saying it for this reason,because I love you and I don't
want you to find out the hardway.
So I'm willing to disciplineyou so that you know you find
out my way, rather than a moredevastating consequence in the

(36:24):
order that we're going in.

Speaker 1 (36:26):
These are the kind of orders that I've got written
down.
I have 20-year sentence.
I have things that you need tochange.
It sounds like categories, sothat's a question.
And then we went to the rodeotoday today and we'll talk a
little bit about that.

(36:47):
Yeah, what was the damn firstthing you said?
20 years, oh, 20 years sentence.
Yes, that, uh, when we firsttalked over in Flathead and we
mentioned maybe possibly doing apodcast and we briefly just

(37:07):
spoke of, uh, you know yourstory a little bit, that was
like one thing that like whoa,that's a lot to to take on.
Uh, yeah, um, so mental healthis like a huge deal for me and,
uh, I can't think of a better,probably, story.
Uh, you know, from like amale's perspective, of like a

(37:29):
mental health crisis situation.
So, uh, if you wouldn't mindgoing into that, um, and then
maybe there's legal stuff thatyou can't do, like whatever,
don't, you know don't.

Speaker 2 (37:42):
but uh, yeah, please, the floor is yours yeah, man,
I'll say this that was probablyone of the, if not the darkest
time that I've gone through inmy life thus far.
Yeah, um, it also happened tobe compounded with covid and the
pandemic shut down, so that wasjust one of the elements of the

(38:05):
perfect storm.
But I tell you what, staringdown the barrel of a 20 year
prison sentence, that's asobering thing and it almost
broke me and I don't break, youknow.
But, man, that was a dark time.

(38:29):
It was one of the mostisolating things.
Um, just because of the waythings played out.
Um, essentially, you know whathappened.
Long story short, I did, uh, did, work for the hospital and
during the pandemic we gotforced into mandatory overtime.

(38:52):
So, you know, some guys wereworking 60, 80 hours.
I've worked a hundred hours,you know, it's no joke.
At the time I was doingsecurity, so I was senior
officer and I'm training a bunchof these guys and our turnover
was so bad.
I think I trained 40 guys inless than six months and you

(39:15):
know, guys I mean they were justquitting.
They couldn't pay him enough tostay because of the hours.
Most of that was our managerwho was just pissed poor with
the schedule.
Again, another littlenarcissistic, you know Napoleon
syndrome type character.
You know, I had one guy bringhim a revised schedule, you know

(39:35):
, and this cat had a businessdegree.
He said, hey, I'm willing tohelp you with the payroll.
Here's a revised schedule.
All the guys at least get oneday or something.

Speaker 1 (39:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:49):
Because it was all kind of fucked up like that
stretch.
It was a wild ride, yeah, startto finish.
Yeah, some of the happiestmemories was when my dad was in
prison and it was just me, my,my mom and two of my older
brothers.
We were just living in atrailer home down in Arizona and

(40:10):
so it wasn't glamorous, but,you know, we had like that tight
family bond.
I got to see my brothers almostevery day, you know, and my mom
was there and she was like asolid rock, you know.
She was always.
She was a strong woman.

Speaker 1 (40:27):
When she was not around my dad.

Speaker 2 (40:30):
Being from Korea.
During the war she wasbasically orphaned herself and
came over to the United Stateswhen she was 13,.
Didn't speak any English.
She was used and abused by herown relatives, you know.
I mean, had to make it herselfin this world, she did, and so

(40:50):
she's very hard-ass type-apersonality yeah, female, yeah,
when she's got to be, you know.
So she held it down, but I'dsay that's probably some of my
fondest memories is, uh, justactually having some semblance
of family.
Yeah, yeah, you know, and thatwas possible now that I look

(41:10):
back on it, because my dad wassitting in a prison cell that's
the only happy time, so that'spretty crazy.

Speaker 1 (41:17):
Um, your mom was a rock, but it is.
She just turns bad when yourdad's in the picture.

Speaker 2 (41:24):
That's she becomes very codependent.
So my father's, you know araging narcissist, which we all
know.
You know a narcissist is prettygood at playing the fake alpha
male, yeah, yeah.
And so her being of traditionalkorean descent too, you know
she kind of always wanted tofollow that role of let the man

(41:48):
lead, you know head of thehousehold type thing, and so
when he shows up she kind ofsubjugates herself to that role
of being the follower.
And yeah, I mean, he's just nota great leader.

Speaker 1 (42:04):
Yeah, somebody who's not a great leader should not be
leading people at all.
How old are you?
Just turned 30 in July.
I wrote it down and I think wetalked about it before.
But the word restart came upand I think maybe we talked
about it, for both of us maybe.
Came up and I think maybe wetalked about it for like both of

(42:27):
us maybe.
Um, I'll get all kind ofcircled back to to the restart
part, but, um, to stay in theorder that we're at, um, I got
dad cartel prison.
I guess these are happy timesfor you because he's away.
Uh, can you kind of explainwhat life is like your dad's in
the cartels?
He's in and out of prison.
That's what I got down righthere.

Speaker 2 (42:50):
So a little bit of it it's a little skip back and
forth.
A little bit of back story ismy dad.
He became fairly hypersuccessful as a young guy, like
really young around I don't knowexactly to this date, but he

(43:11):
was, I think, 13 when he becamepretty famous.
And there was this old singernamed Pat Boone and he was he
like endorsed my father when hewas a kid.
So that's kind of what got mydad onto the johnny carson show.
My dad was doing sound effectsand all these things in

(43:32):
hollywood at the time.
So he made a lot of money whenhe was young, didn't, which you
know, when people make a lot ofmoney when they're young, they
don't tend to develop great lifeskills.

Speaker 1 (43:43):
You see it in a lot of child actors.

Speaker 2 (43:45):
Oh yeah, yeah, they burn away all their money really
quick and for the longest time,you know, I didn't know if I
believed my dad or not, but thenI saw, you know you'd see an
odd newspaper clipping of himperforming.
And then, to this day, I stillsee people selling headshots of
him on eBay.
That's crazy, when he was like14.
What?

Speaker 1 (44:06):
So I bay.
That's crazy.
He was like 14, so I'm like,okay, there's at least some
truth to it.
Yeah, um, but that's crazy thatat that young of an age though,
to be at that level of stuff.

Speaker 2 (44:11):
Yeah, yeah and so you know you make a lot of money
that young.
I think that really affects younegatively and because he'd
gone to school to become ateacher but obviously never did
that.
And then I think he just kindof got into doing some weird
shit, got into like heavyconspiracy theories, which I got
.
Nothing against conspiracytheories.
I think they're fun, yes, okay,and a lot of them do turn out

(44:35):
to be true every once in a whileyeah, so you know you can't
knock them, so you try them.
But you know he would.
He would just take things to anextreme that put the family in
unnecessary strife andunnecessary risk.
You know like he'd be storingguns and ammunition in our

(44:56):
garage for the local militias,so he'd have like 50,000 rounds
of whatever and then 65, 8k 47stacked up on the wall.
And you know the government waslike what are you doing?
Yeah, what is there a reasonyou have this arsenal?
Yeah, sitting around, you know,and malicious.

(45:17):
And then he and his buddy usedto pull weird um, that I call it
a scam because at the end ofthe day, to me it's a scam.
But they would figure out theseweird old archaic laws shit,
that's still technically grayarea.
It's like if you look at aMontana law book and they still

(45:37):
have a law from 100 years agothat says a woman can't walk on
the sidewalk unaccompanied by aman.
Do they enforce it?
No, but it's still technicallya law Written.
Yeah, so they somehow oranother managed to use these old
government bonds to acquirelike 13 or 14 brand new Range
Rovers without having to pay forthem.

(45:58):
That's crazy Stuff like that.
So the government got thecomplaint and they were like,
okay, we see what you did there.
Technically it's not illegal,but it's technically a pretty
shady move.
We're going to keep our eye onyou.
And he kept getting in troublewith little things like that and
he wanted to build a 14-cargarage in Scottsdale, arizona,

(46:21):
and the city said no.
So he started building itanyway without permits.
That was kind of their in tocome after them.
They tried to sue them, so thenwe run to Mexico.
Instead of standing andfighting like a normal person
would go to Mexico.

Speaker 1 (46:36):
That's how we get to Mexico, right?

Speaker 2 (46:38):
Yeah, so I had to give you a little bit of that
backstory.

Speaker 1 (46:40):
Yeah, that makes perfect sense, we jump ship to
Mexico.

Speaker 2 (46:43):
I'm really little like four or five maybe, and I
think we're staying in thisapartment for a while and my
godparents they're actuallyMexican they're in Guadalajara.
That's where we ended up.
And then my godfather hisname's Fernando.

(47:03):
He hooked us up with one of hischildhood buddies and he goes.
You know, this guy's got a lotof money.
He's a lawyer, great guy, I'veknown him since I was a kid Says
you can stay in his guestpavilion.
We get there.
You know, it's like massivecompound Walls, everything.
I remember this because I usedto watch the VHS tapes of us

(47:25):
when we lived down there, someEl Chapo stuff, yeah, like a
pool.
His daughter had a house.
He had a guest house, a littlepavilion for fiestas.
Well, it turns out this guy hadso much money as an attorney
because he was the head lawyerfor the Sinaloa cartel at the
time, and so we're hanging outbuddy buddy with head honcho

(47:52):
that takes care of all thecartel boys when they get in
trouble.
And you know another stupidthing my dad does.
He's like hey, we need a ride.
You know we can't get aroundthe city without a car.
Yeah, so lawyer's like I gotsomething you can borrow, and I
can't remember what it is, butit was a dodge of some kind, big
.
It looked like a suburban slashbronco, like it was just big

(48:14):
boxy.
Yeah, yeah, maybe a ram chargersomething.
And uh, maybe it was a RamCharger Something, but it was
all blacked out, heavy tint,chromed out.
It was just to the nines.
I remember one day the lawyerasked for it back.
He's like, hey, I actually needto get that car back.
My dad's like no, no, no, wegot to use it, we got to use it.

(48:35):
Long story short, we ended uptaking that fucker back to the
US with us.
Really, but it was.
You know, years later mybrother told me it was one of
the few vehicles that they madecustom for the cartel members,
so like they would take it tothe shop, tip it out, and only

(48:56):
cartel guys drove that in thatsector.
And the only cartel guys drovethat in that sector.
And you know I'm thinking backon it when I'm older.
I'm like what if we weredriving around and you know the
op sees us and goes hey, we knowwho drives that.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
Then you see on the news.
American families slain in thestreets of Mexico blah, blah
blah, riddled with bulldozers.

Speaker 2 (49:20):
But you know, like obviously my dad wouldn't think
of that because he doesn't givea shit, he's a narcissist.
So yeah, you know, just shitlike that.
He would put the family inscenarios like that.
But we were down in Mexico for,like I think, close to three
years and the whole time.

Speaker 1 (49:44):
It was just because he was trying to dodge the
government.
You know, just laying low inguadalajara, yeah, but not
really laying low because hedoesn't know how to right.

Speaker 2 (49:51):
We come back to the us eventually.
And, uh, by that time I'd I wasable to speak fluent spanish, a
couple of my brothers too.
That's legit.
And I remember it was thefunniest thing because I we
landed in the airport andwalking around and I grabbed my
as me you know, because I justcame from Mexico, where it's

(50:12):
like only my family spokeEnglish, only my family, yeah.
So that's crazy.
I was.
I got that little memory justburned in my head because I was
like, wow, this is nice, yeah,you know.
And then after we got backshortly thereafter, um, he ended
up getting picked up, uh, inthe us.
In the us, and I think somebodyturned on one of his buddies or

(50:38):
something probably damn and sothat started the whole snowball
effect and obviously he had tostay in jail now until the trial
was up because the flight risk.
So, long story short, he getssentenced to five years of
prison, max security, rinconunit.

(50:58):
So yeah, that's like thehardcore stuff.
Got to go to Tucson, arizona,every other week to visit and
not very fond memories.

Speaker 1 (51:11):
So Arizona, I think.
I don't think this is the rightorder.
Montana weed business, that'slater.
Right, that was when I was 15years.
Exactly, are we still inArizona when we start to talk
about your brother?
Can we talk about just yourimmediate family, like who's who

(51:33):
and the names and ages andeverything?

Speaker 2 (51:36):
Yeah, I've got.
So I'm the youngest of fiveboys.
I've got four older brothers,two from my mother and two from
my father.
So they're all my half-brothers, gotcha.
All related by blood, gotcha,but from previous different
marriages.
Yeah, so that's why I've gotone brother who's blonde hair,
blue eye.
People like to wonder aboutthat.

Speaker 1 (51:56):
You guys have family photos where everyone's looking
all different.

Speaker 2 (52:00):
Yeah, yeah, we manage a few, but there's such a
drastic age difference betweenall the boys.
You know me being the youngest,like I'm the baby baby.
The next one after me is 10years older.
That's crazy.
And then my oldest brother.
He's 15 years older, so it's,it goes me.
Uh, jake ty josh and nate.

Speaker 1 (52:20):
Okay, me, jake Ty Josh and Nate Okay, At this time
of your life, one of the thingswe're going to get into the
chapters.
I don't know if this is theright order or not, but your
brother that passed, which isthat brother, we can go to this
now.
Or if you have stuff to fill inbefore that, yeah, no.

Speaker 2 (52:39):
When my father finally got out of prison I was
around 12, and then we stayed inArizona for a couple more years
just kind of gettingre-situated after he got back.
And during that time we werekind of back and forth to

(53:00):
Indiana, which is where my dad'sfamily was grandpa, uncle, all
that and so my dad was trying tosalvage some of those
businesses that his dad hadspent the money on.
And then we get a phone callone day and it's my brother Ty.
He'd been in a real bad carwreck and I guess it was a
head-on collision.

(53:21):
His truck rolled a number oftimes, they had to cut him out
of it and um, so we my mom and Iflew down and my dad, you know
he kind of stayed back and forthbecause he was fighting the
court trying to save someproperties from the bank.
Um, indiana, yeah, and sostaying out in Casa Grande with

(53:43):
my brother, but my oldestbrother and we're visiting my
other brother, ty, who's in thehospital.
He had both shattered kneecaps,broken ankle, so he had a
really rough time with recoverybut he was really strong.
I mean, he was a bodybuilder atthe time.
So even the doctor said if hehadn't had such a thick chest

(54:04):
that the steering columnprobably would cause enough
damage to kill him because italmost taped his chest in yeah
and uh.
So that's kind of a pivotalpart of the story too.
They took heavy blunt forcetrauma to the chest.

Speaker 1 (54:21):
Yeah, um part of the story too.

Speaker 2 (54:23):
They took heavy blunt force trauma to the chest, yeah
, um, so he had massive pecs andit helped from completely.
Yeah, yeah, he had so much meaton his chest that it kind of
saved him.
Um, so he ends up beingconfined to a wheelchair for a
long time and, you know,unfortunately, during that time
he got hooked on some pain pills, went through that whole ringer
for a few months, eventuallymoved on to you know, a little

(54:46):
granny walker and then he coulduse a cane and then finally he
was walking on his own and thenhe was able to kick his habit it
.
And, you know, interesting andinterestingly enough, that's
when he kind of had this callingto the lord at the time and he

(55:07):
started getting really heavyinto his bible study and just
getting more spiritual as herecovered and, um, I, um, I
think you know that may havebeen kind of like his extension
to just kind of he was given asecond chance to recenter

(55:28):
himself, you know, and findpeace within himself and get
right with God.
And uh, you know, because just afew short months after that,
you know, I, I get a phone callfrom him.
It was the 4th of July and youknow, he, I think he was
spending it with his girlfriendand I was like, hey, man, like

(55:50):
you know, because my birthday'sJuly 22nd.
So I was like my birthday'scoming up, you're gonna come up,
you know, and I just rememberthat was the last, last
conversation we had and he goes,man, of course I'll see you
there.
And then you know, it's likefour days later we get the phone

(56:13):
call that he's gone and and youknow, it's just one of those
things that I don't think you'reever really ready, no matter
what, to hear that kind of shit.

(56:34):
Yeah, and then you know to hearit's like a domino effect.
You're just watching all these.
It's like in my head I runthrough the scenario of 9-11.
You watch one tower collapseand you're like fuck.
And then you see the othertower collapse and you're
thinking what next?
Yeah, and then another buildinggoes down for no reason.

(56:55):
You know, I'm watching myfather, and then I'm watching my
father and then I'm watching mymother, you know, and to hear a
mother lose her child isprobably the most haunting sound
you'll ever hear in your lifeand to this day it's burned into
my brain and you know so.

(57:21):
So you were 14, yeah, I wasabout to turn 14, so that's kind
of the time I was just like,yeah, I guess, I'm guess I'm
done with birthdays because I'mnot really in the mood to do
anything.
A week after I buried my brother, yeah, but I guess what had

(57:41):
happened was because of thatblunt force trauma he took to
the chest, it caused damage onhis heart like actual physical
damage, and they didn't pick itup on any of the EKGs and they
didn't bother to come back andcheck.
And so what happened was,because it took so much trauma,
when it healed it enlarged andit didn't like it was double the

(58:08):
size of a male heart, like itwas massive, and so he was.
He started getting what hethought panic attacks and he'd I
have to lay down in the mall.
Oh, but it was his heart.
But he was having miniatureheart attacks and so when he
told the doctors they were likeoh, no problem, you're just

(58:28):
having anxiety, it's no big deal, here's some medication that
will calm you down, just take itbefore bed.
And he ends up taking it beforebed, and that you know to slow
his heart rate, combined with analready slow heart, because you
know, contrary to popularbelief, you'd think a big heart
could pump better, but theyactually pump way slower.

(58:50):
So those two combined juststopped his heart altogether in
his sleep and, yeah, he justnever woke up from it.

Speaker 1 (59:00):
That's crazy I mean not that there's good parts of
it, but like that's not theworst way to go out.

Speaker 2 (59:08):
No, absolutely it's.

Speaker 1 (59:10):
I'm just thankful it was a peaceful passing you know,
yeah, that's amazing and that'slike he almost escaped death
again, like very crazy.
Did he live up, like did helive up his life more after the
accident?
Like did he have a new lease?
Did he like try new things?

(59:31):
Or you know how was his being.
He didn't really have the time.

Speaker 2 (59:35):
Yeah, but it was more so.
He kind of did have the chanceto mature in that time that he
was given.
You know, I definitely saw himtransform into more of a man
than ever before.
You know, he was only 25 whenhe passed.
That's crazy.

(59:57):
I mean, the guy was loved byeverybody that's crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:00:05):
I mean, the guy was loved by everybody.
You know, uh, bodybuilding, uhthat was a big thing for him.
Um, I was gonna ask with allthe traveling, did you guys play
sports, like?

Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
because I could.
I feel like sometimes it'sharder when moving around.
Oh sure, um, I was heavily heavyinto martial arts growing up,
so I did do a lot of combatsports jiu-jitsu, taekwondo,
hoppy though, but even that'stough because you know a lot of

(01:00:32):
it goes by a belt system and anytime you switch to a new gym
they're always like well, yougotta start here.
Yeah, start you there.
But I did that up until I wasabout 16.
And after that high school Idid some wrestling.
And, yeah, after wrestling Isaid I'm just going to focus on

(01:00:53):
lifting weights and gettingstronger and bigger, getting
swole.

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
Oh yeah, is I mean, we've, we've traveled, you know,
kind of together.
I've been around you're prettydialed in to your, your
nutrition and your diet.
Um, has that always like when?
When you made that switch thento the body, like, is that, when
you, uh, like nutrition wiseand everything all together, it

(01:01:21):
being a complete system for you?
Like bodybuilding, did you like?
What's the fucking question?
I'm trying to ask Somethingabout bodybuilding.
When did I get serious?
Yeah, when did you get serious?

Speaker 2 (01:01:34):
That's what I was going for.
Well, you know, after mybrother passed, I just and just
and ironically enough, like amonth before he passed too I
asked him to start training me,you know, and so we never really
got that.
You know, I used to work outwith him.
Every once in a while when Iwas little, you know he'd be out
in the yard pumping iron.

(01:01:55):
I'd just be out there trying tomimic him.
So to me, you know, liftingweights has always been kind of
a way of carrying on his legacy.
It's something that I feelclose to my brother doing that,
and it's always been somethingthat's been within my control.
You know, like no matter what'sgoing on in life, the roof

(01:02:19):
could be falling in on me andit's like I could still control
what I put in my body and how Imake my body look.
Because no matter how muchmoney you got, you can't buy the
muscles that ArnoldSchwarzenegger had, because he
had to go out and build it.
Same with everybodyindividually.
You know that's something yougotta earn and to me that's

(01:02:42):
that's an important aspect inlife too.
When you see somebody that'sgot a good physique, you know or
at least would assume that theyunderstand discipline,
understand dedication.
You know dedication, what ittakes to achieve that.
It's not easy sacrifice.
And yes, I mean after.
You know breast.
If I could do it over again, Iprobably wouldn't do wrestling

(01:03:04):
in high school because that kindof taught me some fucked up
dieting.
You know, they always want youto cut it out crazy.
I had to lose 15 pounds towrestle at this weight class and
so you know, when I graduatedhigh school I was like 155
pounds.
I said enough of this stayingsmall business, I'm going to get

(01:03:25):
big, we're going to do it up.
That's when I really dived intoit.
I was training when I was inhigh school, but it wasn't to
get as big and strong aspossible, it was just for
athleticism.
And then when I switched overto weight training at around 17
18, that's when it took me acouple of years to really hone

(01:03:47):
everything in because I had tolearn it all myself.
You know YouTube and all thatwas still pretty new.
In terms of fitness influencers, it's not nearly as saturated
as it is today.
Yeah, yeah, you had a few keypeople you had to kind of sift
through and figure out what isand what isn't BS, what actually
works and what doesn't.
Yeah, build your programmingand once you've found it, stick

(01:04:12):
with it and go.

Speaker 1 (01:04:13):
That's it, those numbers.
The numbers don't lie Like ifyou stick to it, your macros and
everything you do it, it'sgonna work.
The muscles gonna go on yourbody.
Um, this is a a question.
Uh, so with your family there'slike some mental illness with,
I'm assuming, right with mom anddad.
Do you think any of that sortof stuff trickled down with

(01:04:38):
brothers, uh, sisters, anything?

Speaker 2 (01:04:42):
I don't think necessarily mental illness, but
definitely causational trauma,just being around it for so long
, being engrossed in it.
You know, um, you know, and youknow, I see that I see the

(01:05:06):
effects still in my brotherstoday, even though they're so
much older.
You know, it was a littledifferent for them because, like
I said, they were all my halfbrothers, so they had other
parents that they could go offto and, in fact, all of them did
eventually, one by one.
You just had.
My two brothers, nate and Ty.
They left and went with theirdad.
Jake went with his mom out toCalifornia, josh went with his

(01:05:29):
mom out to Indiana.
But you know, for me I was likethis is mom and dad.
I'm stuck, stuck, you know, andwhen that's your influence, man
, it's like being a cult,because you know you want to
assume mom and dad want to takecare of you in the best possible
way.
Those are your parents.

(01:05:50):
Yeah, you never would thinkthat.
Oh, they're so effed in thehead that they're thinking about
themselves first, yeah, and notyour needs.
My mom used to always, anytimeshe'd get mad, she'd throw it in
my face like well, you'reclothed, aren't you?
You're fat, aren't you?

Speaker 1 (01:06:09):
You've got a roof over your head.

Speaker 2 (01:06:11):
I'm like, yeah, congratulations, you've
accomplished the bare minimum asa parent.
That is your legal obligation,in fact.
If you don't do those things,guess what?
The government comes fuckingknocking, snatches you up.
So you know, I'm like that's apretty piss-poor argument that
you did the bare fucking minimumyeah clothes, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:06:28):
I mean, I guess every generation like kind of had it
a little worse before us.
So they, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:06:35):
Oh yeah, I mean you know, I don't for a second
forsake or think my mom didn'thave it easy.
I mean, she was a fuckingwar-torn orphan, right, that's
why she was so hardcore.
But at the same time, it's likeyou know, and my father was not
the best disciplinarian, he wasvery militaristic One of you

(01:06:56):
fucks up, you're all gettingyour ass beat.
Oh, that's fucked.
And my mom saw that.
Yeah, a little too late, youknow, but by the time she had me
, she pulled my dad aside.
She was like listen, you're notgoing to touch remington, I
will discipline him.
You were too over the boardwith all the other boys.
Yeah, now, if anybody grew upwith an immigrant parent I don't

(01:07:20):
know if that's a saving graceor not they would whoop your
fucking ass up the wall.
I remember clearly one day Iwas like 10 or 11 and I don't
even know what my mom was madabout.
I just remember she grabbed thebroom and she smashed it over
my back so hard it snapped andthen she got pissed because the

(01:07:44):
broom broke.
So I had, like the old school,first gen xbox where you got to
put the audio visual cable.
Yeah, yeah, ripped that out,used it as a whip on me, you
know, and I'm just like I don'teven remember what.
What got her so fired up.
But you know that's animmigrant mom for you.
You know they won't hold backeither.

(01:08:05):
But you know I do believe indiscipline.
I do believe that having ahealthy respect and fear of your
parents teaches you to be amoldable, coachable, teachable
adult.
So it's not like I hold thataspect against them.
I think disciplines a goodthing.
They just want the best atgauging the way they did it.

Speaker 1 (01:08:28):
I agree, I agree with all that.
You, you have a daughter, doyou?
Do you discipline a lotdifferently than your parents?

Speaker 2 (01:08:40):
uh, yeah, definitely, um, also because they never had
any daughters.
I was supposed to be theirdaughter.
That's why they had me so late.
They thought maybe we'll get adaughter one shot.
Um, so, you know, I, I believedaughters need to be disciplined
.
Different than sons, they'remore gentle, you know, and

(01:09:01):
especially her at her age.
She's only three, so for themit's mostly psychological, you
know, I, I still I pat her onthe butt, but I do it so gentle
that it takes her.
She has almost a delayedreaction because she has to
realize that I've even battledher and then she'll, you know,
get upset and then she'll stillcome to me for comfort and I'll

(01:09:22):
calm her down and then we moveon from it.
Yeah, yeah, a much differentapproach.
So, yeah, you know, I stillenforce rules with eric, because
you know it's, it's I've gotrules for myself, it's I don't
negotiate with children and Idon't negotiate with the
mentally ill.
Listen, you're three years oldand I'm 30.

(01:09:43):
We're not having thisconversation.
It's yes or no.
I'm dad, you're my daughter.
I'm saying it for this reason,because I love you and I don't
want you to find out the hardway.
So I'm willing to disciplineyou so that you'd find out my
way, rather than a moredevastating consequence, yeah,

(01:10:04):
um in the order that we're goingin.

Speaker 1 (01:10:12):
Um, these are the kind of words that I got written
down.
I have 20 year sentence.
I have things that you need tochange.
It sounds like categories, sothat's a question.
And then we went to the rodeotoday and we'll talk a little
bit about that.

Speaker 2 (01:10:33):
But yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:10:37):
What was the damn first thing I said 20 years, oh,
20 years sentence, yes, that,uh, when we first talked over in
Flathead and we mentioned maybepossibly doing a podcast and we
briefly just spoke of you knowyour story a little bit that was
like one thing, that like whoa,that's a lot to take on Telling

(01:11:01):
me yeah.
So mental health is a huge dealfor me and I can't think of a
better probably story from amale's perspective of a mental
health crisis situation.
So if you wouldn't mind goingto that, um, and then maybe

(01:11:23):
there's legal stuff that youcan't do, like whatever, don't,
you know, don't, but uh, yeah,please the floor is yours, sir.

Speaker 2 (01:11:30):
Yeah, man, I'll say this that was probably one of
the, if not the darkest timethat I've gone through in my
life thus far.
Yeah, it also happened to becompounded with kovat and the
pandemic.
Oh, shut down.
So that was just one of theelements of the perfect storm.

(01:11:52):
But I tell you what, staringdown the barrel of a 20-year
prison sentence, staring downthe barrel of a 20-year prison
sentence, that's a soberingthing and it almost broke me and
I don't break, you know that's.

(01:12:12):
But, man, that was a dark time.
It was one of the mostisolating things, just because
of the way things played out.
Essentially, you know whathappened.
Long story short, I did work forthe hospital and during the

(01:12:34):
pandemic we got forced intomandatory overtime.
So you know, some guys wereworking 60, 80 hours, worked a
hundred hours, it's.
It's no joke.
At the time I was doingsecurity, so I was senior
officer and I'm training a bunchof these guys and our turnover
was so bad.

(01:12:54):
I think I trained 40 guys inless than six months and you
know, guys I mean they were justquitting.
They couldn't pay him enough tostay because of the hours.
Most of that was, uh, ourmanager.
He was just piss poor with theschedule.
Again another littlenarcissistic, you know, napoleon

(01:13:15):
syndrome type character, youknow.
I had one guy bring him arevised schedule, you know.
And this cat had a businessdegree.
He said, hey, I'm willing tohelp you with the payroll.
Here's a revised schedule.
All the guys at least get oneday off a week, you know.
And he threatened to fire thisguy for insubordination,
insubordination, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:13:38):
Pause it, time out, insubordination.
That's the thing.
One of my favorite wordsInsubordination.

(01:14:12):
Insubordination was the lastword that we went off of.
Continue please.

Speaker 2 (01:14:25):
Insubordination, insubordination.
So yeah, insubordination.
Not the best leadership typethat we had.
I got burnt out, as did a lotof my colleagues, and so I quit.
And about a month later I get aphone call from a police

(01:14:52):
officer.
Funny enough, one of the copsI've worked with many times at
the hospital.
I asked she goes, you know Ineed you to come in for some
questioning regarding something.
I was like well, what is it,you know?
I said do I need a lawyer?
She goes well, I don't know, doyou?
I said well, the way you justsaid that makes it sound like I
do.
So why don't I get a hold of alawyer and I'll call you back,

(01:15:16):
we'll get something figured out?
She goes okay, well, you dothat.
And I'm racking my brain.
What the hell's going on?
And turns out there'd been atheft at the hospital.
Mind you, whenever this thefttook place, it had happened
after I'd already quit.
So I'm gone.

(01:15:38):
Oops, sorry, no, you're good.
After you already quit, after Ihad already quit, I'd been out
of there a little over a month,I'd say yeah, and now they're
questioning everybody.
So I'm like okay, that's fine,I get a hold of the lawyer.
It was a long, I think it was aholiday weekend, so he's's like

(01:16:00):
I'll be back wednesday and thenyou and I can go in on thursday.
And I called I said, hey, I'llbe in there this date, thursday.
See you guys there.
And I said, okay, that's fine.
So everything seemed to be, um,what had happened was somebody

(01:16:21):
had stolen these uh chips out ofthese computers, and the
computers were located in the uhIT room of the hospital, right,
and so the way that that roomwas situated there's cameras on
both ends of the hallway and you, so you can't get in there
without being seen.
The way that that room wassituated there there's cameras
on both ends of the hallway, andso you can't get in there

(01:16:42):
without being seen.
And each door you either haveto have a hard key or a scan
pass, which, when I quit I hadto turn in my hard key and my
scan pass.
Security keeps a track of allthe keys, because if a single
one goes missing, they have torekey the entire hospital, which
is a hundred thousand plusdollars just to do that, um, so

(01:17:05):
it's a big deal to lose a key.
So I did not have a key in mypossession, nor did I have my
scan badge which, if I did, Iused it on that door it would be
logged um.
So somebody from within is thebest we could think of did this
Somebody from within the ITdepartment, somebody who knew

(01:17:28):
what they were doing, becausewhat was happening was we had on
the outside of the IT room wasa waste pile.
They had a bunch of shelves setup.
They would toss old computers,old monitors, keyboards,
anything that they wererecycling.
It could be in perfectly goodcondition, but if they get new

(01:17:50):
computers they'd throw out allthe old ones, right.
So I had guys from IT, I hadguys from engineering.
They'd come to us and say hey,if you see something and you
need it, just grab it.
The hospital has to pay acompany to come in and remove
all that electronic waste andthey charge by the pounds.
You're going to save thehospital money.
If you see a TV and you need anew TV, just take it.

(01:18:12):
It's fine, it's trash.
So I myself and a number ofother security guards if we
needed another monitor.

Speaker 1 (01:18:20):
Damn it.
Sorry, it's all good, but youguys would.
You could just go grab onewhenever you wanted to, because
they didn't need them.
There's no need for themanymore.

Speaker 2 (01:18:26):
Precisely, yeah, so that's what we were doing and I
figured out okay, you could sellsome of these chips.
If they were little, if theyweren't too old, you could sell
some of them.
And the RAM and stuff, you just, oh, yeah, pop it over on eBay
or whatever.
Ebay and all these little Asiancountries would buy them up,

(01:18:48):
and I think they probably weremelting them down for the gold,
because there's little bits ofgold in all these components of
computer parts right, yeah, sothey'll buy them up, and it's
not something I was doingnefariously.
I was told by multipledepartments hey, take the trash.
I would sit there in our littlecubicle office, probably a foot

(01:19:09):
and a half from my manager,yeah, cleaning these parts off.
He goes.

Speaker 1 (01:19:15):
What is that?

Speaker 2 (01:19:15):
I said, well, it's from the e-waste.
Sell them on eBay, the waste,yeah, and he goes oh, okay, cool
.
So he knew I was doing it.
Yeah, yeah, it wasn't a secret,mm-hmm, it was common knowledge
.
And for that reason, I thinkyou know, I think my fatal flaw
was I burned my bridge with himwhen I quit, because I kind of

(01:19:36):
blew up on him.
Mm-hmm, I told, kind of blew upon him.
Uh, I told him basically justgo yourself.
Um, because he tried to fire me.
After I told him, I said, hey,I can't do this anymore.
I'm training all these guys.
Oh, this was what led up to mequitting was I was getting paid

(01:19:56):
like two dollars and some centsless than all the new guys
starting, and I was the seniorofficer.
I had to train all these newguys and they're making more
money than me and they'regetting sign-on bonuses.
And I said all I want is atleast to be paid the same amount
as everybody else.
Otherwise this feels a littlediscriminatory.

(01:20:16):
Why am I getting shafted andI'm doing all this work?
So I just told him straight out.
I said said I'm not gonna trainany more guys for you until you
adjust my pay scale, otherwiseyou do your job as the manager
and you train him.
And he comes in the next dayand threatened to fire me.
So I told him to go fuckhimself.
So he wasn't in the best moodwith me.

(01:20:39):
Yeah, and he knew that I wasselling the trash parts, so
naturally I'm the guy he threwunder the bus.
As soon as something went downat the hospital, even though it
was a month after I'd alreadybeen out of there, and it was
the missing key card.
And there was no.
I turned in my key card, turnedin my key.

(01:21:01):
Nothing was missing, everythingwas accounted for, but simply
the fact that I was looselyrelated to this, that I was
taking parts out of the trash.
They said that I also came andstole all these parts allegedly.
All these parts allegedly.

(01:21:21):
So you know that shit hitsright.
When my girlfriend at the timewas pregnant with our daughter,
her career tanked.
You know I just quit my job.
My apparel business was tanking.
I'm siphoning out money from mystock market and from my
Bitcoin just to pay the rent.

(01:21:42):
So to get hit with that, I'mlike Jesus Christ man.
Now I've got a lawyer up tooand I've got to spend all this
money that I don't have that Ineed to keep a roof over our
heads.
So I ended up hiring a prettygood attorney and we're looking

(01:22:03):
at the evidence.
We say send it all over.
They send us this packet.
It's like 600 pages.
They say we've got all thisevidence against you, all this
evidence.
I went through every singlefucking page.
Not a single one had my name onit.
Not a single one had my name onit.
It was all key card entriesfrom everyone who'd been in

(01:22:24):
there in the last month prior tome quitting.
My name didn't pop up a singletime.
It was like over 300 employeesin and out of there, not me.
Somehow the camera footage inboth hallways was unavailable.
So now they don't have me oncamera, they don't have me on a

(01:22:48):
key log.
They've got my keys, they'vegot my ID badge and no
eyewitness saying I was even inthe room.
No evidence at all.
Shit starts to fall apart prettyquick.
Yeah, but it's a felony case.
So it takes time and in thattime I'm not allowed to talk to

(01:23:13):
most of my friends, because alot of my friends from the gym
and all that worked with me atthe hospital we were all
bodybuilders, you know.
We all got jobs as security bigguys, you know.
And what was really unfortunateis, you know, it's kind of like
what you were saying you see,people's true colors come out
when you would least expect it.

(01:23:34):
And some of those folks almosttook it personal and somehow or
another made it about them.
So, even though I'm the onefacing 20 years, they're upset
because I'm not talking to themand I said listen, guys, legally
I'm not allowed to speak to you.

(01:23:54):
The lawyers told me to stayaway.
Reason being is because they'lltry and hit me with witness
tampering because you're stillemployees there.
So, even though you're myfriends, I can't talk to you,
otherwise they're going toplaster me with another felony
Doctor's orders Can't do it,sorry, and then they go around

(01:24:16):
town.
Oh, we've had a falling out withhim, this and that.
I'm like the fuck we have, likeI just can't talk, and that I'm
like the fuck we have, like Ijust can't talk to you.
I got to save myself first.
I got to put my oxygen mask onfirst before I take care of the
person next to me.

Speaker 1 (01:24:29):
It paints like a bad picture of you too.

Speaker 2 (01:24:32):
Like, even though it's not even happening.
Oh, you know, it's not the bestto have that photo of you in an
orange jumpsuit plastered onthe internet and on the local
news in a tiny fucking town andthen you're not allowed to talk
to your friends about it,explain yourself or explain how

(01:24:56):
everything for the opposition isfalling apart.
You just have to kind of sitthere and ride it out.
You know my baby mama at thetime.
She, she's like I don't know ifI believe you, I don't know.
And so I'm like I'm getting itfrom every angle.
My parents are going crazy.
Of course my dad's nuts,because you know he's already
been in prison and uh, you know.
But he's giving me all thissideways advice and this and

(01:25:18):
that, and baby mama doesn't wantto believe me.
Friends are all butthurt thatI'm not talking to them.
So I just fucking turned into ashell and the amount of stress
that that brought me was enoughto give an elephant a heart
attack.
And I'm not eating anymore, I'mnot training anymore.

(01:25:40):
I lost 45 pounds in a year anda half, stress, you know, and so
.
And I'm not eating anymore, I'mnot training anymore.
I lost 45 pounds in a year anda half Stress and so, yeah, it
just that ate me away.
And eventually I went and Isubmitted to a polygraph test

(01:26:01):
and it was this hard-ass dudefrom Georgia, like straight
arrow former state cop.
You know.
He's telling me how I mean thisdude was, as about anti-corrupt
as it gets.
Yeah, he's telling me how manysheriffs he's arrested, how many
judges he's brought down, likehe goes after him.

Speaker 1 (01:26:17):
I'm going to come to my watch.

Speaker 2 (01:26:19):
Yeah, any and all corruption.
This dude was on it, yeah.
So then he got intoadministering polygraphs and so
he was the guy in charge, and Imean it's not like in the movies
you know you ever watch.
Meet the Parents, I've seen it.
They hook them up and it's likeno, they got shit on your feet,
they got pressure pads.
They got stuff on your chest,your stomach, your arm, your

(01:26:42):
fingers I think I can't rememberthey might have had something
on my forehead too.
Measure all that.
So four and a half hour to sixhour test, that's crazy long and
I had to sit there and takethat test the whole time.
That's nervous just sittingthere yeah you know, and uh, at
the end of it he goes.
I could have failed you on thisentire section and you still
would have passed.

(01:27:02):
He goes without a doubt in mymind.
Everything you said here todayis the absolute truth.

Speaker 1 (01:27:09):
My lawyer took that showed it to the state.

Speaker 2 (01:27:14):
Well, he showed that to the state.
He goes listen, you've got noevidence.
We've got a 100% pass on thispolygraph test.
What have you got?
And at the time, the prosecutorshe wanted to get rid of it,
she wanted to.
She goes yeah, you know, likethis is going to be a really
hard-fought case, like I'll seewhat I can do.

(01:27:36):
And at the time, her boss, thehead honcho, district attorney,
whatever you call it, districtattorney he didn't want to.
He wanted to make an example ofme, because at the time it was
COVID right.
So any transgression againstthe hospital, which was the
shining saving grace of thepeople because they were doing

(01:28:00):
the Lord's work, against COVID,what do they call it?
Like a special?

Speaker 1 (01:28:04):
group of people, the ones that their jobs couldn't be
taken away because they weresuper important.
Oh yeah, they were essential.
There you go.
That's what essential workersare, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:28:14):
So, because there was transgression against the
hospital and they didn't haveany other leads, any other
suspects, I had to be thescapegoat.
So it could not be somethingwhere they got rid of the case
completely.
They had to and she tried.
And you know, um, if I'd havewaited him out, probably would
have just gone away because heended up getting voted out and

(01:28:38):
they got a new, better districtattorney in there.
She's not so much of a a-hole,yeah, but uh, I mean, long story
short, two years later, youknow it took that long.
They uh dismissed the chargesand, yeah, I was able to finally
start collecting the pieces ofmy life, you know.

(01:29:01):
But I mean, two years of damageis done.
Yeah, it's like.
You know, I tell people like,listen, if, if your buddy shows
up on the news in an orangejumpsuit with the headline you
know, possible child rapist, andthen all of a sudden you don't
hear anything about it, and thentwo years later, there's an

(01:29:21):
article published online saying,well, the charges were
dismissed.
You know he's not guilty.
Blah, blah, blah.
Are you going to think of that?
Are you going to remember it?
Are you going to remember?
Oh, wasn't he a pedophile?
Wasn't he this?
Wasn't he that?
Didn't he commit some crime?
You know, I'm like the damageis done the headlines out there.
It happened, you know.
The pictures burned intoeverybody's mind, you know.

(01:29:44):
So people don't think about itfrom that standpoint, you know
and my attorney shared a similarstory.
Just like that he goes.
You know, I represented thisyoung man, rich family from
Europe.
He came here for college girlaccused him of rape.
They grilled her, they went tocourt.
Finally she broke down and waslike no, I made it up.

(01:30:05):
I'm so sorry, blah blah, blahblah, but a half dozen articles
were already written about himand they would.
They refused to retract becauseit's, you know, journalism,
freedom of speech.
They could say and publishwhatever they want.
Yeah, so he goes.
You know, the family was worthmillions and the best they could
do was hire an IT team to go inand bury the articles deep in

(01:30:29):
Google.
But they're still there, youknow.
That's to the point of.
You know the damage is done.
Two years later, you dismissthe charges.
Okay, I still lost my family.
I still lost my friends.
I still lost everything, myselfincluded, nearly, you know.

(01:30:51):
And yeah, it's losing a darkroad Was the losing.

Speaker 1 (01:30:57):
The friends part was that.
Are you glad that that happenedto you ultimately?
Because if they were realfriends, wouldn't they would
have stuck it out with you.
I'm just saying I would havestuck it out, you know, but it's
no fault of some of them.

Speaker 2 (01:31:14):
You know they just part of it was me because it was
obviously extremelyembarrassing for me too, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:31:22):
It doesn't matter if you're innocent.

Speaker 2 (01:31:24):
It's still embarrassing for somebody to say
something extremely slanderous.
You're like, oh shit, somepeople are going to believe it.
You know that's how people are,and so you know, when I went
dark, I just went dark man, andI didn't reach back out to
anybody.
So you know, I just when I wentdark, I just went dark man, and
I didn't reach back out toanybody.
I didn't let anybody know thatthe charges had been dismissed.

(01:31:46):
To this day I run into somepeople in Bozeman and they're
like, oh hey, what's up?
They're probably assuming, like, I thought you were in prison,
that's you know.
And uh, yeah, it's.
Uh, it is crazy, you know it's,but you know to to play devil's

(01:32:09):
advocate.
It's not all of their faults.
Part of it was me and myself-isolation and my shame and
my embarrassment, and you know Icould have handled some of it
better too, for sure.
Um, and yeah, you know, like,like I would lash out at my ex
because I was so hurt and upsetthat she didn't believe me that

(01:32:33):
I was telling you the truth,like you, of all people, would
be the one that I would tell youthe truth, because you, of all
people, would be the one that Iwould tell you the truth because
you're my rock, you're themother of my child, like you
know, and the fact that she hadthese doubts and you know she
was running scenarios through myhead like I don't know if we

(01:32:53):
can come visit you for 20 yearsand present, and so I'm just
thinking, like Jesus Christ, ifI do go away, I won't even get
to see my daughter until she'san adult.
It's because I'm at the mercyof her mother, bringing her to
see me every other weekend andshe's already telling me, one,
she doesn't believe me and two,she might not be game for
visitation.
That's crazy.

(01:33:14):
You know, those things trip youout, man.
Visitation that's crazy, youknow, those things trip you out,
man.
They really put how fragilelife is into perspective.
It is a very fragile thing.

Speaker 1 (01:33:28):
That's some soul-shattering shit you made it
through.
It wasn't an easy path.
Are the pieces picked up?
I know not completely, but arethey in the right direction?
Of all the things that you didlose?

Speaker 2 (01:33:46):
yeah, things are moving forward.
Um, like I said earlier, to thecredit of my parents, the one
thing they did make me wasunbreakable, you know, and
that's from watching them kindof be the same, even though
they're nuts, yeah, uh, minemore so comes from just an
absolute resilience of you.

(01:34:07):
Know, I don't like to take nofor an answer and I usually will
find a way to do it.
And you know, I mean it's notto say I wasn't in such a dark
place that I didn't consideroffing myself several times, but
I would constantly bring myselfback to hey, no, you have a

(01:34:31):
child now.
You don't get to be selfish,you, you're thinking of yourself
right now.
Get the fuck over the pityparty.
You got people that depend onyou.
They didn't ask to be born.
It's your fucking job to makesure they make it to adulthood.
And so you know those types ofthings I run through my head and

(01:34:52):
I just I got to keep myselfback to zero.
I was like, hey, you know, nomatter how hard it gets, you
keep moving forward.
An inch mile foot doesn'tmatter, you keep it going
forward.
And yes, I mean just now in mylife, we're getting things

(01:35:18):
oriented, debt-free again.
You know we're moving past a lotof the legal issues.
I'm still in the custody battlefor my daughter, you know, and
that kind of stems from a lot ofthe infighting and things we
had during the pandemic and dueto the circumstances that we

(01:35:38):
were involved in and all ofthose things.
And, uh, you know, it's likeobviously I was a mess and I was
not in my right mind.
So it's not like I'm saying, oh, she was a nagging or she was
crazy and this, like we wereboth at each other's throats,

(01:35:58):
bitch, or she was crazy and thislike we were both at each
other's throats.
You know it was some visceralfighting and just screaming for
hours and, you know, just not ahealthy situation at all for
anybody and um, so, yeah, I mean, I absolutely own up to that.
It's just, uh, but I I look atit as like man, those were some
extreme circumstances, just forall that shit to hit the fan at

(01:36:21):
the same time.
The way it did was the perfectstorm and I'm just glad I made
it out with my head stillattached.

Speaker 1 (01:36:30):
Yeah, I've been.
It's been one of the craziestyear of my life.
And once you do get through itand you do, it has been one of
the crazier, craziest year of mylife and, uh, once you do get
through it and you do uh able tostart rebuilding a little bit,
then it does start to make sense.
So I'm right there with you onthe same sort of path right now.

(01:36:51):
Um, I got a couple of questions.
That's chill Shoot.
Um, I got a couple questions.
If that's chill Shoot, howwould you like people to
remember you by?
How would you like to beremembered by?
And is that even important toyou?
Like, are there people that youthink that's important for?

(01:37:16):
Like, at this point in my life,it's like I, I care for like
four people like uh with with acomplete like trust and and and
and care, and then after that it, it's not the same Like uh, so
do you have whatever thatquestion was supposed to be?

Speaker 2 (01:37:40):
Sorry, yeah, no, I mean.
I do believe in legacy, not somuch like your last name or your
monuments, meaning if yourname's on a fucking park bench
or you donated X amount of money, like you said, you've got a
small circle.

(01:38:01):
To me, legacy is more importantin terms of you know, like in
my scenario it would be mychildren.
I would care.
What my children are is mylegacy.

(01:38:26):
You know you'll never see aU-Haul following a hearse.
You don't take anything withyou into the next life.
You could have a billiondollars and leave it behind, but
not your kids, your kids, kidsor their kids.
Somebody's gonna blow it, yeah,you know, and there's gonna be
no money left.
What you do, leave behind those, your genetic legacy, your

(01:38:46):
children, and so raise them tothe best of your ability, make
them good human beings so thatthey'll carry that on.
You know, otherwise, yourancestor that stood on a
battlefield carrying a sword andshield 5 000 years ago just for
you to be here today, he'sgoing to roll over in his grave
saying really, that's it that'sit.

Speaker 1 (01:39:07):
You're not reproducing what's going on.
You got a lineage, yeah, manlook at gangas khan exactly, I
get that completely.
Um, it's con.
Exactly I get that completely.
Um, that's super funny.
Uh, this, I don't know if it'lltie together, but uh, what's
the first thing you think aboutwhen you get up in the morning.
I was wondering that today.
That's why I wrote it down.
It was out of my own brain.

(01:39:27):
I didn't like look it up oranything, because I feel like
your children are like the topof your pyramid of like
important things structured inyour life.
Um, what comes like after those, after your kids.

(01:39:49):
I had one of my buddies waslike friends, family faith, or
like his three things, uh, hispillars, like in a row, um, but
it could be anything you knowyeah, to be completely honest, I
don't think I think of anythingreally in depth when I first
wake up in the morning.

Speaker 2 (01:40:03):
Yeah, it's more so grateful that I'm awake, you
know, because you don't know ifyou're gonna wake up.
Like I said with my brother, hepassed away in his sleep.
That's true, you know and know.
And so it's like, hey, wow,here we are, another day,
another 24 hours.
You know, let's make it thebest we can to set ourselves up

(01:40:27):
for success.
And that's really how I look atit.
First thing in the morning it'sjust like, all right, we're
still kicking, we're justblessed to be here, like all
right, we're still kicking.

Speaker 1 (01:40:43):
We're just blessed to be here after you've had that,
this relationship, and I'm sureyou've had other serious type of
relationships now at the placeyou are in your life.
What is your definition ofmission, of love?
Love is a construct.

Speaker 2 (01:41:00):
It's not real, it's fake news.
No, I'm kidding shit man.
That's the thing.
This last one really jaded me.
Talk about hardening the heart.
I always saw myself as a familyman.
I've always wanted a lot ofchildren.
If you could afford itresponsibly, right, not just

(01:41:33):
yeah, section 8, that shit, yeah.
But you know, I wanted to havemore than one child, for sure,
you know, even if it's just twoor three.
But I think, god damn, like Idon't have the money to fight
that many women in court, youknow, and unfortunately, I don't

(01:41:56):
know if it's social media orit's just like if it's just the
west that's fallen.
But you know, we've lost a lotof that.
I feel like old, traditionallove, like what love used to be
between two people, becauseeverything is so multifaceted
now.
It's so at your fingertips, youknow, you get Tinder.

(01:42:20):
You can just swipe left right,left right, left right, and then
, oh well, this one looks likeit's better.
So, even though I've beentalking to this one for this,
boom, boom, boom, you know, andeverybody wants that instant
gratification.
It's like the old school isdone.

Speaker 1 (01:42:33):
It's a different time .

Speaker 2 (01:42:42):
So you know the concept of love scares me, yeah,
but I do have to remind myself.
You know it's the same withtrauma, like if you go through a
relationship and you getcheated on, you can't just go
into your next relationshipassuming that that new person is
gonna cheat on you the same wayor at all.
Yeah, you have to give them aclean slate because that's
what's fair.
Yeah, same for them.
They can't bring their traumaand dump it on you and the same

(01:43:05):
expectations from what they werehurt with, you know so you know
I I still would, I guess, seemyself as a hopeless romantic,
but I'm not actively looking.
I haven't been in the datingpool for the last three years,
you know.
That's not to say I haven'tshared my time with women, but I

(01:43:27):
make it very clear that I'mlooking for right now.
Okay, I've got a lot going onand, trust me, you don't want to
be part of it, but hang out fun.

Speaker 1 (01:43:39):
Yeah, the isolation over the last couple years of
rebuilding.

Speaker 2 (01:43:48):
You learn anything new about yourself yeah, I mean
definitely a lot more mentallytough than I expected, Because I
just I wasn't sure how long orif I would be able to make it.
It was just kind of likethrowing a candle in the dark

(01:44:08):
and hoping it stays lit.
Yeah, and because for I meanfor an eighth, yeah, I mean I
was, after I split with my ex, Iwas sleeping on the couch for
eight months, you know, and Ihad a solid buddy from high
school.
He was like you just crash hereas long as you need, don't

(01:44:29):
worry about paying rent, youknow, and that was kind of my
saving grace because I was ableto scrounge every penny I had to
pay off my lawyers, you know.
I mean I'm a couple hundredgrand in just because of that
woman now, you know, and, uh, ifit wasn't for my buddy man, I
was working two jobs, sleepingon a couch for eight, nine

(01:44:52):
months, 96 hours a week, and Iwas living off of.
I had $300 in expenses a month.
I just had nothing, had nothing.
Yeah, and I shit you not.
I mean I'd go to the plasmadonation center.
They give you that little card,you know, right next door is
the dollar store.

(01:45:13):
I go there and buy, you know,30, 40 dollar frozen burritos
and that would be my lunches forthe day and that was working
security at the Yellowstone Club, and so they provide you like a
free meal for the day.
So I had that's like at leasttwo meals a day, you know.
And yeah, yeah, it was roughtimes.

(01:45:34):
It was rough, but you know, andthen it took me like two weeks
to get used to sleeping in a bedagain, once I got an apartment
after that.

Speaker 1 (01:45:41):
But you know, it was like yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:45:44):
It was resilience, because in the back of my mind I
was scared.
You know, I was like man.
I don't know Like what if Ijust get burnt out, you know.
And that's one of those nightswhere I was sitting there
staring at the bottle ofsleeping pills like I wonder if
I could just go to sleep andthat would be that.
But then I got to snap myselfout of it and be like well,
you're still in custody battle,you might still get your

(01:46:08):
daughter back, and then you'llnever know if you just go to bed
forever.
Just go to bed forever.

Speaker 1 (01:46:16):
So Mostly this is because I'm tired, but do you
have any?
Like I guess it would be a goodone out of the questions, but
like the truths that you standon was one of the questions.
But, like, if you want to dothat, but like if you have

(01:46:39):
anything else you want to like,say or tell anybody or dedicate
anything to, or whatever, thisis your time to do it.

Speaker 2 (01:46:57):
So, yeah, I guess the first thing was like what are
the pillars that you stand on?
The truth that you stand on asa person, pillars that I stand
on as a person and as a man is,you know, you can't let yourself
get deluded.
In today's, what I would callthe societal norm, you know,

(01:47:20):
because not everybody's normal.
So you got to stay true toyourself and I know that's
cliche, everybody likes to saythat but I mean staying true to
yourself in the sense thatyou're willing to fall on your
sword if you're not.
Not the pretty all on.
I'm a strong, independent man.
No like, yeah, I understand,I'm a strong, independent man.
No like, yeah, I understand I'mgoing to get yelled at, I might
get food thrown at me, I mightget, you know, crucified on the

(01:47:43):
Internet.
We need more of that in life.
You know, too often do we havepeople that just flip-flop back
and forth.
You know we don't have enoughpeople to stand on business.
Standing on business, standingon business yeah, I think that's
.
You know, as men, that's ourmasculine prerogative is to keep
that strong structure.

(01:48:03):
Keep society going, keepyourself, keep true to yourself.
You know, and it should comenaturally, mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 (01:48:11):
You know Exactly, it really should.
Um, that's really really goodadvice for everybody struggling
with who they are, especially asa kid growing up.
I think that's super important,yeah, but I wanted to say thank

(01:48:32):
you very much for being thefirst person to take the first
flight from Billings to Glendale, and it wasn't too bad, no, it
was nice.
Bring some noise cancellationheadphones Some good headphones,
dude, some good headphones,some prop playing.
And yeah, dude, I hope you hada fun time.
The rodeo was dope.
Yeah, it was my first rodeo.

Speaker 2 (01:48:53):
That was your first one.
It was very cool.
Yeah, I see some broncan horses.

Speaker 1 (01:48:56):
Yeah, dude that was so sick.
Yeah, man, I hope you got tohave like some sort of vacation
mindset while you're down hereat some point.
It's been nice and maybe youeven learned a thing or two, who
knows.
But I'm going to be down inBozeman doing a lot of work on

(01:49:17):
and off and we're chilling,probably staying with Dylan, so
we'll be able to hang more andwe'll be able to look back on
this and it'll be cool.
So I really appreciate yourtime and being such an honest
stand-up man.
So thank you so much for doingthis man.
I appreciate it it and thankseveryone else.

(01:49:39):
I'm still alive and I'm outhere doing good things for the
world.
All right, everybody.
Boom.
That wasn't too bad.
Huh, no, that was good.

Speaker 2 (01:49:51):
I think it went well for like how'd I do for my first
podcast?

Speaker 1 (01:49:57):
you did really good, dude, and you know it's crazy
because, like it goes like thisevery time we're the first, like
five, seven or ten minutes,it's just it's almost like no
one's done it before, eventhough I've done it.
And then 10 minutes in I go ohthis is what I was born to do,
and and then it's just likenormal business.

(01:50:18):
But I have so many other thingsexternally going on in my life
that it's so fucking hard to doanything.
Dude, I feel it To be focusedfor anything.
It's crazy.
Yeah, it is, it's crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:50:35):
Yeah, I mean, that's how I, how I feel like trying to
get the supplements going.
It's so many other things thatare going to be and then I'm
like I have to carve out time todo that, you have to yeah,
that's the thing is like, likewhat you're telling me today,
like, uh, basically, like, whatare the things to do here?

Speaker 1 (01:50:54):
what are what the you know?
What do I do for fun?
Who do I hang out with?
Like I don't Like, you know,like I really don't Like this is
Well you ask.

Speaker 2 (01:51:06):
Dylan, it's the same fucking thing for me.
I just use his house to sleep,pretty much, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:51:13):
You're either at the gym or Right Exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:51:22):
Or cooking up the steak in the kitchen or work, or
that's pretty much it, and thenthat's right.
I kind of take pride in sayingthat.
You know, I think I'm probablyone of the best versions of a
roommate you can have, becauseyou never see me, I keep myself
clean, I keep my area clean, soit's like I don't even live
there.
But you get to make money fromhaving a roommate, it's true
because when you were there Ididn't.

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Hanging with Humans Podcast | Episode 15 | Remington Shideler

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Hanging with Humans Podcast | Episode 15 | Remington Shideler