Hanging with Humans Podcast | Episode 18 | Autumn Hudson - Hanging with Humans

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello and welcome to the Hanging with Humans podcast.
It's me RJ.
I'm with one of my very, very,very close friends.
We've known each other.
Come to find out.
We calculated 2025 would be our10 year friendship anniversary.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
Yeah, we're coming up on 10 years of friendship.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
It's pretty wild.
We'll get into how that came tobe, but today I'm here at
Elysium Studios in GrandJunction, colorado, and I'm
going to be talking to my goodfriend, autumn Hudson.
Say hello, autumn.
Hi Autumn, my friend for nineyears.
Um, I wanna, I wanna telleverybody kind of like how we

(00:48):
met and then, um, or no, no, no,not that.
Uh, how, how we got from, howour friendship like from point a
to how we got to point B, whichis here, but the evolution and
the growth and the changes thatoccurred in that time frame is

(01:10):
what I'm really after.
So that's kind of kind of whatwe're going to do today.
I'm going to ask you a bunch ofquestions, cause I love
interviewing people and I liketo get to know my friends better
, and so we're going to startwith that.
So, autumn, where are you from?
And, wait, wait first, how areyou doing today?

Speaker 2 (01:30):
Oh, I'm fantastic.
I mean I tattooed for threedays in a row on your back which
you're sitting here, amazinglystill alive.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
Isn't that crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
It is crazy because it's rough.
Getting a back piece for threedays in a row is not an easy
task.
It's not an easy task, soyou're a badass thank you so
much.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
That's the second time I heard that today and
that's yeah, and I don't calljust anybody a badass either I
know you used to call me a pussy.
I did because you were, butyou're not anymore that's all
good, everybody all level up, weall grow, we all evolve that's
where I'm at.
I think a lot of the things thatyou taught me like I don't

(02:09):
listen to everyone's advice, Iknow, but you know what you're
talking about when it comes totattooing and everything you
told me like, hey, don't do this, don't do this, it turned out
to be the right thing.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
So you could argue me all you want, but promise I I
know some things.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
I've been doing it for a second.
Yes, you have, and we're goingto get into how you started that
and everything.
And I'm really excited and Iknow a lot of other people are
excited, because I have friendsthat started tattooing after
they seen the kind of work thatwas being done on me by you.
So you have followers all overthe place.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
Oh, that's so cool to hear.
Yeah, yeah um.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
So let's start off with kind of where you're from
and um, what, uh, what?
What was uh life like growingup there, and like kind of like
what your childhood looked like,a little bit before we go to
high school where things turned.

Speaker 2 (03:06):
Yeah, shit hits the fan.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yeah, I'd like to know what leads up to that, what
kind of kid you were, andthings like that.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
Okay, well, I was born in Bozeman, montana,
bozeman Deaconess Hospital.
It was under construction, so Iwas actually born in the
hallway.
Whoa nice, yeah, mom, legsspread right in the hallway of
Bozeman Deaconess.
I love it.
But I grew up in Manhattan,montana, which is a very, very

(03:33):
tiny town in Montana.
Now, when people ask where I'mfrom, I say Manhattan.
I have to constantly tell themnot New York.
I have to mention Montanabecause it's not a place a lot
of people know.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
Yeah it's those two manhattans, are they're?

Speaker 2 (03:50):
very different uh the manhattan I grew up in.
It had a train track and a halfof a main street.
Yeah, you didn't even have bothsides.
I think it was under a thousandpeople when I was growing up
there.
I think it's over a thousandnow.
Finally, Dang.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
Well it's like outstarts of Bozeman and
Belgrade.

Speaker 2 (04:10):
It's like 45 minutes away from Bozeman.
It's pretty small, but likeit's not the smallest town in
Montana, you can get smaller.

Speaker 1 (04:18):
Oh yeah, there's a lot of small towns in Montana.
I love them though, yeah, sowhat's it like growing up there?

Speaker 2 (04:25):
It was kind of wild.
We lived in an area in betweena lot of dairy farms so when I
was little I didn't really havefriends because our closest
neighbor was a mile away.
So trying to find kids my agewas impossible.

(04:48):
So I grew up very creative andvery finding anything I could to
like play by myself yeah, keepyourself occupied which is cool,
like I don't know.
I made entire houses in the longgrass and our five acres of
land and like named all thefucking cows that were next door
.
You know, I had a very wildimagination because I was very

(05:11):
alone, like my parents wereworking all the time and my
sister hated me growing up.
She was just mean to me and shewould just leave and go hang
out with her friends because shehad a neighbor girl that was
actually her age and so I wasjust alone most of the time what
were your guys's agedifferences?
uh, my sister is two and a halfthree years older than me okay,

(05:34):
yeah, and you guys don't getalong, you guys don't know we we
get along now.
I think when we were younger Ididn't realize she had a lot of
animosity towards me because, uh, like I found out very recently
, um, doing some stuff with thefamily, like why she was so mean
to me when we were younger, itwas just because, like family

(05:55):
members and outsiders would tellher and my mom and stuff how
pretty I was as a kid and nobodysaid that to her and she hated
me for it and I never knew anyof this shit.
Yeah, like I never knew it atall.
Like I even grew up, my momnever told me I was beautiful
because she was afraid it wouldgo to my head.

(06:16):
So like I had this thing in myhead where I was just like this
ugly duckling the whole time,because I nobody ever told me
that yeah, you know it's likethis weird thing.
I understand what she was tryingto do, but on my side I was
like that's crazy yeah, I waslike I'm not good enough, I'm
not pretty enough.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
I'm like I is it.

Speaker 2 (06:37):
Maybe just some parents are not as loving I know
, I think she was very likeloving, but like I just think
she was trying to do it in adifferent way because her
childhood was very different.
Nobody ever told her she waspretty or she could do anything
she wanted to do.
And then growing up aroundother kids whose parents told

(06:57):
them that was like crazy to mebecause nobody ever told me that
like I didn't know I was evenmildly pretty until I became a
stripper later on and I was like, wow, people want to sleep with
me.
Weird weird.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
Oh I'm pretty.
Yeah, I mean when you don'thear it.
I mean our childhoods affect somuch yeah I mean, and you, we
look for love in the wrongplaces if you don't get the
right love as a child and stuff.

Speaker 2 (07:25):
So but I also get like where she's coming from too
.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
Absolutely, I get it.
Those sometimes like I don'tknow, I, I, uh, I have a.
I have a good relationship withmy parents now for sure.
Um, but me having kids was likeI understand it's not as easy,
or, or I I have much more gracefor like how things were back
then, because yeah, there's norule book no rule book.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
You have a kid and you're just thrown into it,
exactly yeah so, and you had akid pretty young, so that's
gotta be wild 23 yeah yeah,that's crazy, you don't know
anything about the world.
You're still growing up and youall of a sudden had a kid.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
It's crazy was not on the plans, for sure I bet not
but the dopest thing to everhappen to me.

Speaker 2 (08:12):
I love my babies yeah , that's a reason to live yeah
right, absolutely that rightthere.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
Um, so now you, uh, now you know you're pretty,
that's cool, right?
You know correctly?

Speaker 2 (08:24):
Well, who knows anymore?

Speaker 1 (08:25):
Who knows anymore, right?
So your sister resented you andyou guys are good.
You guys are all good now.

Speaker 2 (08:34):
We're good now.
Yeah, we don't talk very much,but when we do see each other we
get to catch up on everything.
When I do see her, both of usgo to bed early but then we end
up staying up too late becausewe like talk about stuff and we
live two completely differentlives, but she's still my sister
and I love her and I can tellshe loves me too.

(08:55):
So when we get into thosemoments, it's just cool to I
don't know be able to actuallytalk to somebody that you've
known your entire life.

Speaker 1 (09:05):
Yeah, that's a completely different
relationship than anyone else.
That's awesome, even thoughwe're not super close, it's
still.

Speaker 2 (09:12):
You know.
There's this eternal love thatyou have for your family members
.

Speaker 1 (09:15):
I guess that, yeah yeah.
You don't have to talk to themevery single day to know that
you're probably going to be theone first in line to help with
anything Stuff like that, orlike if something's gone wrong,
you know you can call them.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
They'll always answer , even if you haven't talked to
them in a year.

Speaker 1 (09:29):
Always.
I love that you mentioned yourparents being gone working a lot
.
What did they do?

Speaker 2 (09:36):
So my father I wish I could remember how he likes to
say it.
It was really creative and madeit sound really fancy, but he
was a janitor at a college first, and then high school, and then
a middle school, high schooland then my mother, when I was
growing up, was a lunch lady.

Speaker 1 (09:58):
Nice At the school I went to.
That's cool.
Yeah, man, a real lunch lady,yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:02):
That's awesome.
Yeah, she was a real lunch lady.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Yeah, she was a great lunchlady.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
Do you know how they met?

Speaker 2 (10:08):
I think I know they worked together at the college,
both being janitors originally,but I think they met before that
, in high school or towards theend of high school.
They're the exact same age.

Speaker 1 (10:23):
Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 (10:27):
But yeah, I don't know the story to t.
I kind of wish I did, did now.
Now I'm gonna have to call it,we'll figure it out.

Speaker 1 (10:30):
We gotta figure it out.
The mystery must be solved.
Yeah, um uh, you arrive to highschool time frame right um, you
told me that was one of the one, of the one, out of the few
things we picked to talk aboutlike chapters of your life where
it kind of made a differentturn from where you were at.

(10:54):
Can you kind of give me thelowdown on how, like high school
life and how that was for youand what, what things happened
that led you on this path tostart it, I suppose?

Speaker 2 (11:07):
Okay, well, I mean, I was in the art my entire
childhood.
Yeah, definitely in art.
I took every art class Ipossibly could.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
Love that.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
Um, but I was also extremely rebellious and I
wanted to be my own independentperson and I dressed up in all
sorts of crazy ways and I gavemyself piercings.

(11:37):
I did all of this stuff and Ididn't like to obey rules.
I didn't like people telling mewhat to do and I didn't like to
obey rules.
I didn't like people telling mewhat to do, so going to school
in Manhattan public schoolswhere I had a class of 22 kids
total, there were 11 boys and 11girls and that was one of the

(12:01):
biggest classes they had to thatdate?

Speaker 1 (12:02):
That's crazy.
Yeah, it was very small.
You guys had a football team.
We had a whole football teamhad to that day that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (12:06):
Yeah, it was very small.
You guys had a football team,we had a whole football team.
Oh wow, that's crazy.
Um, but they didn't really likehow I dressed or how I acted
and I was constantly breakingdress code violations and like I
was being sent to the uh, notthe psychologist, but the
counselor, the school counselor.

(12:26):
I was being sent to the schoolcounselor on like a weekly basis
for like weird shit.
I was drawing and theneventually I got enough marks to
where they were going to kickme out of the school.
And then my mom decided,because she worked for Bozeman
schools at the time, she couldget me in Even though I lived in
Manhattan.
She could get me into Bozemanschools at the time.
She could get me in even thoughI lived in Manhattan.

Speaker 1 (12:47):
She could get me into Bozeman schools.
So I ended up transferring toBozeman schools um, which was
wild because I went from a classof 22 to a class of over a
thousand kids that's crazy andso that was a culture shock
that's great and you're onlylike 45 minutes away and it's
like a whole other world, awhole other world, a whole other
world.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
But, like at that age , I was halfway through my
freshman year yeah, it wasinsane.
And then the kid that showed methrough the school was just
like, yeah, okay, we do this, wedo this.
You look like you smoke weed,so you bring weed.
Next week we meet here at noon.
And I was just like, oh God, Igot to steal weed from my dad so
I can be cool like these guys.

Speaker 1 (13:27):
That's crazy.
That's weird.
So you're a pothead.

Speaker 2 (13:30):
That's what the group you'd probably be in well, I
mean, that's kind of like thegroup that I ended up in,
because, like this kid justshowed me through high school
and I was like, okay, cool, Ineed some friends.
But then I ended up beingfriends with, with the weird
artsy kids that were goth andpunk and dressed weird and I was

(13:53):
always trying to express myselfby the way I dressed and my
mother hated it.

Speaker 1 (13:59):
Yeah, very traditional Montana yeah totally
, I get it.

Speaker 2 (14:03):
She wanted me to wear pink and cute clothes, not so
much black, you know is thatsomething you weren't feeling
from the beginning?
like I'm not playing, jane dressum no, I wanted to dress crazy
because I didn't.
I never felt right in my skinand I think that's half of why I
became who I am today.
Um, it's because I hated theway I looked.

(14:27):
I hated every part of my body,but the day I started getting
tattoos, I started to love thoseparts of my body, I started to.
I used to wear long sleeves inthe summertime and like pants.

Speaker 1 (14:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:37):
And then I started dressing sluttier and sluttier
the more tattoos I got, becauseI was like proud of my body.
I was proud of the way my skinlooks yeah, I love that you're
expressing the shit out ofyourself yeah that's awesome and
now I wear normal ass clothesbecause I'm like my skin looks
so ridiculous it doesn't matteroh man, no it's.

Speaker 1 (14:56):
You got a lot of tats .
It's cool.
I got a couple, you got a few.
My favorite tattoo of yourseverybody poops oh, oh, it's
gone.

Speaker 2 (15:05):
Now it's gone now.
It's gone.

Speaker 1 (15:07):
Not in my head, no.

Speaker 2 (15:09):
I'll remember it forever, I know.
It was there for a good five,maybe eight years.

Speaker 1 (15:16):
Eight years.
So the reference behind thatlittle story was I was trying to
get a tattoo and I was likeit's kind of stupid and I think
I might like regret it, and thenI don't want to get it removed,
blah, blah, blah.
And then I was like what do youthink about that?
And she's like well, I haveeverybody poops tattooed on.

(15:37):
Was it on your butt or?
On your lower back yeaheverybody poops and I all right.
Well, that just settled it forme.
Very wise one.
Autumn is.

Speaker 2 (15:49):
I knew I could cover it eventually when I was ready.

Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (15:52):
But yeah, it was good to have I love it.

Speaker 1 (15:55):
You do great cover-ups, by the way.

Speaker 2 (15:57):
Oh, thank you.

Speaker 1 (16:00):
So you're expressing yourself, dressing slutty,
getting tats.
Did you get kicked out ofschool?

Speaker 2 (16:09):
Yeah.
So I was basically on the edgeof getting kicked out of school
when my mom was like, okay, wecan put you in this school
before you get these marks onyour record, basically.
So, like then I moved toBozeman because I had that
opportunity and it waslife-changing for me.
I had art classes I could take,more than just your basic-ass,

(16:33):
fucking tiny-town art classes.
I could take oil painting, Icould take pottery, I could take
photography.
I could take all of these crazyclasses.
Art history isn't offered inhigh school in very many places.

Speaker 1 (16:45):
I took that.
Actually it's pretty dope.
It's interesting.
Yeah, it really is, For sure.
What was your favorite out ofall of those?

Speaker 2 (16:51):
Out of all of them, I loved probably oil painting
that was kind of my naturalgo-to and figure drawing.
Uh, and figure drawing.
I love figure drawing.
I love drawing the human, theface, and like the body and

(17:12):
understanding how it moves.

Speaker 1 (17:13):
I think there's so much expression and emotion
behind humans like I still wantto capture that today in my
artwork I think you do, I thinkyou really, and then you put,
like your beautiful, you know,very unique touch on that and
it's great.
I love your work.
It's amazing, dude.

Speaker 2 (17:34):
Just trying to make people feel something.

Speaker 1 (17:36):
Right, damn, I'm feeling it right now.
I'm sure you are man, but Iwill be all right.
It looks so sick.

Speaker 2 (17:44):
It does.

Speaker 1 (17:45):
I can't wait to finish it.
It looks so sick though it does, I can't wait to finish it.
Oh man, it's going to happensoon.
Sorry, where did we leave off?
You were being naughty somehowin school.

Speaker 2 (17:54):
Oh, yeah, and was.

Speaker 1 (17:55):
On the verge of getting.

Speaker 2 (17:57):
Basically, I got kicked out without getting the
Mark Sumner record, so I didn'thave to go to the alternative
school.
I got an opportunity to go tothe regular public school.
Yeah, okay, you're taking allthese art classes, yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:14):
What happens next?
Next, I just start doing allthe drugs and the bad bad part
was you got addicted to heroin,correct?

Speaker 2 (18:21):
Yes, yes, I mean, I started doing it just
recreationally.
I had like an older friend whokind of introduced me to it, um,
because I just I was sorebellious, I didn't care about
my family, I didn't care aboutanyone.
I hated school.
I didn't want to learn thethings they wanted to teach me.
The only classes I wanted to goto were art classes, um, but

(18:45):
then these people took me in andI made friends with these much
older crowd and I got to tryheroin for the first time, kind
of without knowing really whatit was.
Um, but I tried that and slowly, like over years, it took to
the point where I was veryaddicted.

(19:06):
It used to just be like I woulddo it on the weekends with my
friends, you know, yeah, um, butI didn't realize how gnarly of
a drug heroin is, like it's,it's so bad.
But when I was introduced to itI was like, oh, this is so cool
, this is so chic, like all themodels are doing this, doing
black tar yeah that's.

(19:27):
That's one way to convinceyourself oh, but like the people
doing it were so beautiful andcalm and they just seemed so
chill and I had so much anxiety.

Speaker 1 (19:37):
I just wanted to be chill, chill, yeah, dang, yeah,
that's so crazy anxiety.
That has been like since aslong as you can remember, or is
that something you can rememberwhen it really started becoming
a normal part of your life?

Speaker 2 (19:51):
Oh, definitely Like when I was really little.
I actually got held back fromgoing into kindergarten because
I was afraid to speak to theinterviewer, the person that
interviews you for kindergarten.

Speaker 1 (20:05):
Yeah, really.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
So I got held back a year, so I was a year older than
everybody else in schoolbecause I refused to verbally
speak to them.
The only person I would talk towas my mother and my imaginary
friend.
That's it.
And I've had so much socialanxiety all of my life Like
definitely conquered it now.

Speaker 1 (20:21):
Like.

Speaker 2 (20:21):
I can handle it, but I still don't like situations
where there's a lot of peopleand a lot of noise, and
especially if I'm the center ofattention.

Speaker 1 (20:29):
Which can?

Speaker 2 (20:30):
be often, that's just terrifying.

Speaker 1 (20:32):
Yeah, I mean, you've been soldiering through it,
though You're on magazine covers, so you do modeling.
You are a professionalsnowboarder as well, correct?

Speaker 2 (20:44):
Semi-pro.

Speaker 1 (20:44):
Semi-pro we'll get into that.

Speaker 2 (20:46):
We'll work um.
It's gonna be pro by the end ofthis year there you go.

Speaker 1 (20:49):
That's what I'm talking about.
Um, sorry, I lost my train ofthought.
Where were we at?
You're good um what are wetalking about?
Oh, the social anxiety stuff.

Speaker 2 (21:03):
Oh yeah, to take away the social anxiety oh, and
that's one thing that definitelyworks gill social anxiety and a
lot of other things too yeah,like your soul damn.

Speaker 1 (21:14):
Yeah, that's true.
All the rock stars did them,though you know it made it look
cool.

Speaker 2 (21:18):
Cool, right, mick jagger.

Speaker 1 (21:19):
He's the best and yeah chief richards.
No, it's, that's a big time,that's a big shot drug yo that's
that's dumb, that's thecraziest um, yeah, well, you're
very hardcore.
So it went from every weekendor so to like I'm full-blown
addicted.
What does that look like?

Speaker 2 (21:37):
it's probably like once I dropped out of college.
Um, so I did like a summersemester in a college which I
got a scholarship to, which wasdope.
I probably would have nevereven attempted college had I not
gotten a scholarship to it,which was for my artwork.

Speaker 1 (21:56):
And that was cool.
Wow, yeah, that's so tight.
So you're in art class, you'rekilling it and the teacher
really likes your stuff, andwhat does he like?

Speaker 2 (22:06):
send it off or how does it get.
Teachers asked me my senioryear because I didn't have
enough points to actuallygraduate from high school.
So I ended up getting a gedbecause all I took were art
classes.
I didn't take any of theclasses.
I needed credits.
But I had all these.
I had ap credits, you know.
And my art teacher was likethere's this college, it's an

(22:29):
all girls the only all girlsliberal arts college in the U S
and it's it doesn't cover any ofthe other stuff.
It's like an art specificuniversity.
So he was like let's try to getyou a scholarship and help me
put together a portfolio.
And we sent it in and theyaccepted it and I I got to move

(22:50):
to Philadelphia for the summerand get a bunch of college
credits for art and then, yeah,that's really cool.
Yeah, it was sweet.

Speaker 1 (23:01):
How was Philly?

Speaker 2 (23:02):
Overwhelming for somebody with social anxiety and
who had never been to a bigcity dang.

Speaker 1 (23:07):
That's a huge culture shock that was going from.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
Yeah, small town, montana.

Speaker 1 (23:13):
I thought bozeman was a big city yeah, I know, and
then I was in philly dang.

Speaker 2 (23:18):
That's so wild smoking cigarettes and sneaking
out of the dorm like what 18,what 19 something I was like 18,
yeah, that's so wild.

Speaker 1 (23:27):
That's crazy.
Okay, so you only do a semester, or how long did you?

Speaker 2 (23:32):
so I did a summer.
It was like a basically like asemester's worth of credits,
okay, but it was a very shortsummer course.
You basically went to schoolsix days a week, okay, um, and
all day that still sounds reallycool that you were able to do
that.
It was cool because you canbasically cut out a whole
semester going into college,which was what it was for it was
.
It was really cool.

(23:52):
It was a cool school.
I met a lot of cool people, butit was overwhelming for me at
that time.
And then I that's when Irealized I'm not a city person
that then, and there was it yepyou do go to a lot of big cities
now, though, don't you?
I do, but I don't like them Idon't like them no, I'd rather
be in the mountains I feel youthere, that's for sure.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
Um they got mountains in germany fuck yeah, they got
mountains oh yeah, hey, you'regoing, oh going to the alps to
the alps right where you belong.

Speaker 2 (24:22):
That's so awesome.
Dude Snub for some moreGalatians, Heck yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:27):
So you head back to where Bozeman after Philly.

Speaker 2 (24:30):
Yeah, and then I just started doing heroin a lot more
.

Speaker 1 (24:36):
Really.

Speaker 2 (24:36):
Yeah, I was bored.

Speaker 1 (24:40):
That's what it was.

Speaker 2 (24:40):
Like I was working these jobs.
I was working in a record storewhere it was cool, but I was
getting paid minimum wage, yeahand like I couldn't afford to go
snowboarding anymore.
So in the winters I wasn'tsnowboarding, and then, I don't
know, I just fell into thispattern of like this is my whole
life.
I'll never become anything Like, even in the back of my head.

(25:02):
My whole life I was like I wantto be a tattoo artist someday.
Really, yeah, oh yeah.
Since I was like 12, oh yeah Iwrote a paper on it.

Speaker 1 (25:09):
Really, all right, you're living your dream out
then huh, oh, all my dreams.

Speaker 2 (25:14):
Yeah, yeah, you really are dude.
I, my mom, just came to visitme for thanksgiving.
Apparently I haven't seen herin like two years or something
same I just my mom just came too.

Speaker 1 (25:23):
So yeah, good on us, right?

Speaker 2 (25:24):
But she came to visit me and she brought me this
little school memory book, okay,and I opened this and I look at
it and I was like this is funnyand I'm looking at these awards
I got and shit.

Speaker 1 (25:33):
It's like a little little kid.

Speaker 2 (25:35):
And the last three pages.
So, like fourth, fifth andsixth grade, were the last three
inserts, my three inserts.
My dreams were to become aprofessional snowboarder and a
professional artist and like.

Speaker 1 (25:51):
I had those dreams way back.

Speaker 2 (25:52):
When those are like in fourth, fifth and sixth grade
.
Like I didn't even remember.
I had those dreams back thenthat's crazy and like I'm
fucking doing it, you certainlyare it's cool, my is rad.

Speaker 1 (26:04):
Your life is way rad and it's never dull and I feel
like you're always looking forthe next step, like it's never.
You know you can always getbetter, you can always do.
There's so many levels and youwant to be at like the highest.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
Yeah, I want to be the best at everything I do, but
, like I also think life isboring and I don't know what to
do with myself if I don't havegoals.
And I think that's part of thereason I got addicted to heroin
was because I didn't have anygoals or expectations.
I was just like it's my lifeevery day and then I was like,
oh, maybe this drug will kill mesomeday.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
That'd be cool.

Speaker 2 (26:40):
That'd be great, because that'd be easier.

Speaker 1 (26:45):
Yeah, that'd be cool, that'd be great Because that'd
be easier.
Yeah, man, you grew up in avery small town and you're proof
of that.
If you're a kid in a small townand you have those sorts of
hopes, dreams and aspirationslike you did, it's possible.
You're living out your dreamright now.

Speaker 2 (26:59):
Yeah, I think it's possible for anyone, literally.
Yeah, you just have to reallybelieve it's possible.

Speaker 1 (27:05):
Manifestation is a real thing possible for anyone,
literally, yeah, you just haveto really believe it's possible.
Manifestation is real.
Yeah, 100.
Well I'm.
That makes me happy to hearyou're just on your path.
You're just right where youshould be.
Um, how do you get off ofheroin?
How does that change?

Speaker 2 (27:19):
no, that's a whole.
You can listen to that otherpodcast about now.

Speaker 1 (27:23):
Yeah, all right.
What is that one called?

Speaker 2 (27:27):
That was on.
So during COVID I did thewriting class and then there was
this podcast called WritingClass Radio and I submitted one
of my little short stories andthey were like we'll pay you for
this, publish it on our podcast.
You just tell the story in amicrophone on the podcast.

Speaker 1 (27:46):
Yeah, that's really cool um, what is it?

Speaker 2 (27:49):
I think it's taking the long road or something is
what it's called.
I don't remember, but yeah, itwas that's really it's fun
because that was a thing when Iwas actually my third grade.
Goal when I read it was tobecome a writer.

Speaker 1 (28:04):
So you're a published writer too as well?
Yeah, dang, I'm writing a booktoo.

Speaker 2 (28:09):
Oh, fuck it.
I can't wait to read it.
I know yeah.

Speaker 1 (28:16):
When did you start tattooing?
Okay, so I started tattooingwhen I was you get off heroin
first and then you starttattooing.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
Yeah, Okay 21 years old.
So I got off of heroin becauseof a pile of events involving
the police and my drug dealer.
And then I was going to getarrested because I sold a bunch
of people drugs where a lot ofpeople died because they had

(28:43):
switched the formula foroxycutin yeah to the point where
you couldn't shoot it upanymore.
So I started selling all thesepeople who had only done
pharmaceutical grade heroin toactual, like black star heroin.
And I sold it, all these peoplewith, like I told them, like
it's not measured, like you cantake too much, like start small,

(29:06):
and like five or six peopledied the first day I sold it to
them.
So, like all of these peopleand I was the last contact on
their phone.
So then the police obviouslyfound a correlation and then my
way of getting out of thiswithout going to prison was to
give away my drug dealer.
So you can listen to the otherpodcast about that whole story.

Speaker 1 (29:29):
Yeah, I will.

Speaker 2 (29:31):
Yeah, it was.
I don't even Like telling thestory about that time, like I
don't recognize that person Likeit's not me anymore at all.

Speaker 1 (29:41):
No, that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (29:44):
So after that event I kind of had to quit and I had A
boyfriend who wasn't thegreatest boyfriend overall.

Speaker 1 (29:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (29:50):
But he was exactly who I needed in that point in
time and he was able to take meout of my job, make me move in
with him.
I was with him 24-7.
He kept an eye on me and hehelped me quit.
So I'm forever grateful forthat, Seriously, Even though you
know it didn't work out and itshouldn't have worked out yeah

(30:13):
uh, he was really perfect forthat point in time yeah, he's
there for a reason yeah, and Idid it all cold turkey like I.
I went to a couple of rehabs, ittook me a while, but in the end
the last time I just did itcold turkey because I knew I had
overdosed so many times, like Iwasn't going to live through
another one.
So we either had to choose tolive or or die, you know yeah,

(30:36):
those are the only options atthat point.

Speaker 1 (30:38):
Yeah, very crazy.
Well, I'm glad you're stillwith us.
Yeah, um then I startedtattooing and then, yeah, that's
that thing, I'm gonna go tothat, but yeah, so you start
tattooing.
Was 617 where you first startedthe first place.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
So I started tattooing out of my house.
Okay, so when I was living withthat guy getting clean, I told
him like it had been my lifegoal to become a tattoo artist
and he surprised me and got melike a tattoo machine kit off of
like fucking Amazon or someshit, like some really horrible
stuff, yeah, yeah.

(31:15):
So I started practicing onmyself and like anybody who
would let me at that time, yeah,and they were horrible.
I even misspelled one.
All the worst tattoos you canimagine.
That's dang.
And yeah, I just practiced abunch until I had like a
portfolio of work that I wassomewhat proud of.

(31:35):
I would be terrified to look atthat portfolio now, we got to
find that thing.
Oh, I'm sure I burned it,guaranteed.

Speaker 1 (31:43):
Even the difference between tattooing like this
tattoo and this tattoo.

Speaker 2 (31:48):
I feel like Huge difference.

Speaker 1 (31:50):
Yeah, so I can even imagine your first tattoos to to
this.
But yeah, look at, you justbeen trending in the right
direction yeah, I just had thatconfidence, even though I
shouldn't have where do you pullthat confidence out?
Of?

Speaker 2 (32:03):
I don't know.
It's like I'm acting yeah yeah,because I just pretend like I'm
good at it and then eventuallyI'll get good at it.

Speaker 1 (32:11):
If you do anything enough times, yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:13):
And if you say anything with enough confidence,
people believe you, that's true, that's true.

Speaker 1 (32:20):
Yeah, well, you carry it well.
Thank you.
Yeah, six ones.
Okay, so you're tattooing outof your house with the boyfriend
.

Speaker 2 (32:33):
And you guys break up and then we were together for
five years, like a while.
That was a big relationship, thebiggest relationship I've ever
had yeah, that's a big deal um,but he grew up in livingston,
montana, and he had a friend andhe was very tattooed.
He had a friend who had done alot of his tattoos, who lived in
livingonardson and his friendwas opening a tattoo shop there.
Um, so he was trying to likehelp me out a little bit more,

(32:58):
like oh, maybe you could try towork there, and like I had
brought my portfolio, a coupledifferent tattoo shops around
like bozeman area and stuff, andeverybody was like no, no, no,
we don't want you.
Like no, we just don't hiregirls.
What A bunch of stuff.
And then so I went there and Iput on my most confident face

(33:18):
ever and been like ah, yeah,I've been tattooing forever.
I've been tattooing for like Idon't know a couple years of
like just fucking around onfriends and stuff too.
And they took me.
They were like yeah, you canhave a job here.

Speaker 1 (33:32):
Winston Montana.

Speaker 2 (33:34):
Yeah, what was that?
2011, 2012, something?
I was 21.

Speaker 1 (33:38):
21.
So you started tattooing there,21.
Yeah, and you end up owningthis place.

Speaker 2 (33:45):
Within six months.

Speaker 1 (33:46):
Within six months.
Yeah, dang On accident.
A lot had to change in sixmonths?
Yeah, Dang On accident.
A lot had to change in sixmonths.

Speaker 2 (33:52):
Yeah, like I started feeling more confident being at
the business.
I didn't feel that confidentabout my tattoos yet, but there
was a big fight between the twoguys that opened the shop.
One of the guys was the manager.
He did the initial investmentof money and stuff, but he
wasn't a tattoo artist.
And the other guy was thetattoo artist.
The guy this shop was basicallymade for.

(34:13):
Yeah, and they had this hugeargument, um and I only heard
the tail end of it.
But the owner manager guyoffered it to the tattoo artist
was like hey, give me x amountof money, shop is yours, I'll
walk away.

Speaker 1 (34:31):
Like yeah, nothing happened.

Speaker 2 (34:32):
No harm, no fault so then I went up to the tattoo
artist the only other guyworking there I was like hey,
are you gonna do this?
Like I still want to work here,like I'm so hungry for this.
And he was like I don't havethe money, but I would rather
like artists own a place insteadof somebody who's not an artist
.
And I was like I can figure outhow to get the money, I can
figure out how to get the money.
And so I figured out how to getthe money and I was like we'll

(34:55):
be co-owners.
And then, you know, a yearlater he never paid me back for
any of the money.
And then I ended up just owningmy own shop after working there
for six months my first job ata tattoo shop.
Wow, didn't even like rent abooth somewhere else, like
literally Nope it was juststraight into the thick of it

(35:16):
and it was terrifying and Ilearned a lot really fast.

Speaker 1 (35:21):
I bet that's crazy, like never doing books before
and stuff like all the businessstuff, no, like financial side
of it.
I'm so glad I don't have to dothat anymore all right, uh, did
you have anybody help you outthrough any of those processes,
or just all you?

Speaker 2 (35:36):
uh, it was mostly just me trying to figure shit
out the hard way, making a lotof mistakes.
Um, eventually I hired on moretattoo artists and some of them
helped give me insight and stuff, and then some of them I had to
fire.
I learned, learned how to dothat.
That's why.

Speaker 1 (35:52):
I hate firing people.
I hate it.

Speaker 2 (35:56):
But then eventually, like I got an apprentice who was
way more business-minded than Iwas and I was like, look, I'll
teach you everything I knowabout tattooing and you help me
with this set of things, and itwas fucking perfect.
And it happens we've beenfriends since, like we were like
16, 17 or something, that'sperfect.

(36:17):
But he ended up being abrilliant artist.
I think he might even be betterthan me.
Whoa, oh, I can't ever have anapprentice again because he
fucking crushed it like nobodyelse is gonna do that good no he
also organized my business,helped me actually make money,
figured out how to like remodelmy basement like that's how he
did everything.

Speaker 1 (36:36):
Can you shop this person out or?

Speaker 2 (36:38):
oh yeah, um jacob crowder.
Hollow priest tattoos hollowpriest tattoos.

Speaker 1 (36:42):
Where's that located?

Speaker 2 (36:43):
that is in tennessee, tennessee, I believe.
Yeah, tight, tight, yeah.
He just opened a new shop um,built it himself, he owns it
himself damn proud of him, likethe most proud I could be, like
he's doing better than I amthat's amazing.

Speaker 1 (36:59):
Yeah, that's like the goal when you get an apprentice
?

Speaker 2 (37:01):
yeah, you want them to be better than you?
Yeah, and he fucking did itdamn.

Speaker 1 (37:07):
Yeah, that's so sick.
Uh, what would you say?
His um, his, uh, his style isit's like a gothic fantasy world
.

Speaker 2 (37:22):
He's literally written an entire novel and the
tattoos he does are the graphicnovel images of this novel he
created.
So every tattoo he does isinterconnected.
He doesn't do anything anyoneasks for, he just does pieces
based on this story.
So then when his clients, whoare from all over the united
states, the world even, they seeone and you can definitely tell

(37:46):
it's his work, like it's a verydistinct style, they see one
and they're like, oh, what'syour character?
And they're like oh, what'syour character?
And they're like oh, ourcharacters interact in this
story.

Speaker 1 (37:56):
This like wild story, like wow that's crazy yeah,
he's pretty brilliant verybrilliant that he changed the
way to like even look at I don'tknow.
That's right.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
Well, yeah, he created like a whole new avenue
nobody ever had seen in theworld of tattoo work before.

Speaker 1 (38:13):
Yeah, that's like almost deeper in some way, like
literally as a yeah, it doesn'tget much deeper than that.
That's crazy, um, do you dolike a similar sort of thing,
not so much like the fantasyworld, but like with your style
and I feel like you have adistinctive style too as well

(38:33):
but, um, I think I forgot myquestion, but it's something
about uh, not, uh not.

Speaker 2 (38:42):
The story part how I come up with my designs that and
do you like like him?

Speaker 1 (38:48):
those are his designs , right, like don't?
Isn't that your thing too?
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (38:53):
for the most part, I actually learned it from him.
I love that I'm learning thingsfrom the person I taught how to
tattoo.

Speaker 1 (38:59):
You know, I think that's beautiful, it is.

Speaker 2 (39:01):
But I started creating these designs.
I would just spend a day or twoa week and I would micro, macro
, dose mushrooms and I wouldjust create whatever crazy
images would come to my mind,and usually I would base them on

(39:23):
something that was going on inmy life, like I think artwork is
the most beautiful when it hasfeelings and emotions behind it.
So I want to portray emotionswhen people look at my tattoos.
The same way I've felt whereI've stood in an art gallery
somewhere in front of a paintingand it brought me to tears

(39:45):
because I could feel theemotions in the painting.
Like I want to create whateveremotion it is.
That's what I want to create.
Even when people ask me forcustom designs, I'll have a
consultation with them andthey'll be like I want a clock,
a rose and a lion.

(40:06):
I'll be like okay, skip all ofthat stuff.
Tell me why you want thesethings.
What's the story you're tryingto?
Obviously this means somethingto you.
Why does it mean something?
So I want to get the story outof the person where they're like
oh well, my grandpa was reallyimportant to me.
He was like the strength of thefamily.
He died too young.

(40:28):
I felt like I missed thisopportunity to get to know him
and I want to represent him inthis way.
I'm like skip all of theimagery I can create that
emotion yeah, and that, thatmeaning without doing something
you've seen a million timesbefore.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
You know you're, you're doing different things
for, um, yeah, you said thatsame thing to me.
I was like this, this, thisthis, and you're like no, give
me what you feel, give meemotions from it.

Speaker 2 (40:55):
I want the emotions on the story.
I want, like, exactly becauseyou can tell me tattoos you've
seen before and you're like, oh,this is cool and it would look
cool on me and it kind ofrepresents what I'm thinking but
like, yeah, I've been able toopen my mind enough to like try
to encompass a new way oflooking at a story where I can
create images.
I had a guy ask me for ajellyfish made of light and

(41:20):
sound and that was one of thecoolest requests I've gotten,
because it's so out there, likehow can I get so creative to
envelop sound in an image?
I'm trying to process it rightnow.
Like how can I get so creativeso you envelop sound in an image
?

Speaker 1 (41:33):
I'm trying to process it right now.
Yeah, exactly.
I know Dang Did you bring thatto life?

Speaker 2 (41:39):
Oh, I sure did, did you.

Speaker 1 (41:40):
Yeah, can't wait to see it.
So you're at 617.
You got your own shop.
How did you get the opportunityto come work here?

Speaker 2 (41:52):
Well, I'd been, I'd owned that shop for years, I was
finally making money there andI got tattooed by her, by the
way, at this shop.
In 617, yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
Yep 617.

Speaker 2 (42:04):
Uh, eight, nine years eight years ago.

Speaker 1 (42:07):
Yeah, eight years ago .

Speaker 2 (42:08):
Yeah, he tattooed his chest there, sure did.
Um.
So yeah, I kind of realizedworking there that I had gotten
better and I was going toconventions and I was going to
seminars.
I was learning from these otherartists who I admired, and I
reached a point where Livingstonwas beautiful and I will always

(42:28):
love it.
I couldn't grow much more atthe rate that I wanted to grow,
so I needed to be around artistswho were better than me.
I needed to be around peoplewho could give me ideas.
I needed to be around moreartists because in that town
there were so many people whowere like oh, you're the best
tattoo artist around like like Ididn't want to be that.

(42:51):
I wanted to learn and grow, andone of the seminars I went to
there's a very phenomenal tattooartist.
That taught me a lot and hetold me yeah, if you're the best
artist in the room, you need toget the fuck out of the room.
Really, yeah, otherwise you'renot gonna go anywhere.
That makes sense yeah so I gotout of the fucking room, yeah,

(43:12):
and I applied for guest spots atdifferent places and Elysium
came up because I had a guestartist at 617.
It was like, oh man, I went tothis shop Elysium, it's really
cool, they do really good work,but all they talk about is like
working out and fitness anddiets and stuff.
And I was like, oh, these aremy people.

(43:34):
I was like I'm just gonna throwit out there and try to apply
and like within a few days I gota response and they're like,
yeah, come for a guest spot.
That's awesome.
I did the guest spot.
I walked past the front doorlike 15 times before walking and
I was so fucking nervous.
So I was like these guys are somuch cooler than me.
And uh, yeah, I came in andthey were super welcoming and I

(43:54):
did my guest spot.
I worked every single day.
I worked my ass off trying todo the coolest tattoos I
possibly could to show them whatI was capable of, and on the
last day, arlo offered me a jobheck, yeah, yeah, um, do you
remember?

Speaker 1 (44:07):
so you're just crushing it all those days, just
banging out what huge pieces.

Speaker 2 (44:11):
I was exhausted.
I bet I don't ever work likeseven days in a row like that
and I just did that because Iwanted to show them like.

Speaker 1 (44:18):
You could, yeah, yeah , you could.

Speaker 2 (44:20):
Dang Well, Arlo's a very famous tattoo artist too
right, yeah, oh, definitely, hewas the one that was the most
nervous to meet, because I hadseen his work all over the
internet and I was like oh mygod, dude, your tattoos have
broken the internet.

Speaker 1 (44:41):
I was like this is so cool, I want to be like Arlo.
And then I met him and I waslike no, I don't want to be like
Arlo.
I don't want to be like Arlo,but I'll work for him.
Yeah, that's awesome.
No, this place is so rad.

Speaker 2 (44:52):
And was this like his ?
Do you know when this all getlike put together in this whole
situation?
Oh, when I started working here, it was at a different location
.
It's this old house.
It was really cool.
I loved it.
I worked there for, I think,two or three years before we
moved into the church, but thechurch he had bought a year
after I moved here, so then itsat in limbo trying to like work

(45:14):
everything out so it could becalm.
A tattoo shop and then, ofcourse, all the renovation stuff
, because it did not look thisgood before.

Speaker 1 (45:21):
Yeah, I know you're showing me pictures.
It was like the old schoolburgundy church carpets and like
plain eggshell white everythingJust like a standard church.
And it's not a standard churchanymore no, it's.

Speaker 2 (45:34):
I mean we got mannequins chains holding up our
station yeah, yeah, the tableyeah, yeah uh, but it's.

Speaker 1 (45:43):
It's a work of art itself, though it is the whole
thing.

Speaker 2 (45:47):
It's really beautiful .

Speaker 1 (45:48):
It's very beautiful um, so you've been working.
You were working there threeyears before you got they opened
it up here yeah and then wemoved to the church you moved to
the church?
Uh, how much have uh from whenyou first got hired by arlo to

(46:10):
this point right now?
How much have you learned Likeworking around all these people
like you said, you wanted tocome work around the best has it
been?
What's the experience been likesoaking up from all these
different artists?

Speaker 2 (46:23):
I learned everything not to do from watching Arlo.

Speaker 1 (46:26):
For real.

Speaker 2 (46:28):
Oh yeah, I love Arlo to death now.
But like, yeah, he's like theepitome of like, oh cool, I'm
just going to watch him fuck up,so I don't make those mistakes.

Speaker 1 (46:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (46:39):
But I learned so much from like people I didn't
expect.
I was definitely nervous tomeet Jacob Sheffield.
He's a fucking god in thetattoo world.
He does tattoos that areinhuman.
The fact that they healperfectly every time.
They never change from the waythey look when they're fresh to
when they're healed.

(46:59):
And he's just so casual andcalm and just chill guy who
wants to share all of hisinformation a little bit like I
learned the most about art fromhim and paul lunetta.
Paul lunetta is just smokes, abunch of weed.
Loves talking about aliens andhe just loves painting and he
loves art and he loves theclassical art theory and kind of

(47:23):
shows you the way where you canapply those classical art
theories to tattoos.
How can you make it moreinteresting?
He's always down to expand thecreativity I love that and it's
beautiful it is beautiful.

Speaker 1 (47:35):
There's a ton of paintings downstairs oh yeah
most artists here paint as wellas tattoo.

Speaker 2 (47:39):
I think every single one of us paint yeah.

Speaker 1 (47:42):
You guys are real deal artists, huh.

Speaker 2 (47:44):
Well, yeah, we don't just print out tattoos.

Speaker 1 (47:46):
We don't just fuck around over here.
No, this is probably thecoolest shop I've ever been in,
but awesome, very welcoming,very nice people in here.

Speaker 2 (47:57):
Everybody's happy.

Speaker 1 (47:58):
Everybody's happy.
617 to Grand Junction, eightyears, oh so is that.

Speaker 2 (48:06):
Oh, I owned 617 for eight years, for eight years,
yep.

Speaker 1 (48:09):
That's nuts and you just like got thrown in that
yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:12):
I went from six months to then eight years,
being a business owner.
I am not a business owner.

Speaker 1 (48:18):
I am not.
Well, you're an artist, is whatyou are.

Speaker 2 (48:21):
Yeah, I draw pretty pictures.
I do not want to run a businessagain.
Not want to run a businessagain.

Speaker 1 (48:25):
Yeah, nine years of friendship, ooh, okay, so you
spoke about doing mushrooms andthat like that studying and your
art getting better, right, liketaking those times to do micro
and macro doses mushrooms inthat, like that's, that's
studying and you are gettingbetter, right, like, like taking
those times to do micro, macrodoses.
Like you were saying, um, isthat a big part of what?

(48:45):
What made your skill level likerise so much, or your art get
more creative and kind of justyou know, because it's that many
years, uh, how much uh.
Was that like a, um, a part ofyour not everyday life but but
like your cycle, like how yeah,does it tie into it all oh,

(49:06):
definitely.

Speaker 2 (49:06):
Like I started doing microdoses of mushrooms more for
a mental state, like I triedmushrooms for the first time in
a really long time and, um, Irealized it opened up a
different perspective andcreativity.
Everything I was looking atoutside was more colorful.

(49:28):
I had just gone through asurgery and I was like screwed,
I'm gonna do some mushrooms.
Um, and then I realized this iscould actually be used towards
all areas of my life, and that'swhen I decided to start
microdosing on a regular basis.
And then it accidentally sortof helped my artwork.

(49:49):
While I was doing this Irealized I was opening those
creative levels where I was kindof stuck in before and I could
then put pictures to emotions orto sounds, and I think that's
when my artwork leaped to thenext level.

Speaker 1 (50:08):
I love that.
Yeah, psychedelics are a hugepart of my life, oh and they
just make you happy, don't they?
Yeah, oh man, I hope eventuallywe end up on a vacation
scenario with like friends andall that, so that way we can do
some macro doses and enjoy theoutdoors.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
Go, look at the sunset and feel all the colors.

Speaker 1 (50:31):
Feel all the colors.
So for mental health reasonsand for art, I love that.
So, for mental health reasonsand for art, I love that.
Um, did you, did you do anydrawing like at all in your art
stuff?
Like, was that ever a path like, instead of painting, like
sketching, was that ever?

Speaker 2 (50:54):
oh, yeah, definitely actually when traditional coil
tattoo machines like this.
I remember them and I just hadan entire like bedroom worth of
stacks of paper because I handdrew every single tattoo.
So, outside of hand drawingevery single tattoo, which took

(51:15):
forever, Like you didn't havelayers you couldn't like like
double click to delete anything.
You just had to start overagain, dang, yeah.
So sketching and drawing andstuff was a huge part of it and
it's wild how much it's changedsince the iPad came into the
world of tattooing.
Now I don't have to have like10 million rims of loose paper

(51:40):
and I can't find anything.
It's all just right on a neatlittle box.

Speaker 1 (51:44):
The iPad Pro is so good for that.

Speaker 2 (51:46):
You've been using it for a while though.

Speaker 1 (51:47):
I feel like you were using it when you did my chest.

Speaker 2 (51:50):
That might have been when I just started, probably
yeah.

Speaker 1 (51:52):
But I remember that I was like that's insane, she's
using an iPad.

Speaker 2 (52:03):
That literally might have been exactly when I started
using an ipad for the firsttime, probably right after I
went to a seminar.
Which one?
Uh, I went to the seminar in umeugene oregon and it was by an
artist who lives in denmark.
Uh, mark was scary and he blewmy mind with all this like
technology stuff you can do andhe encouraged me.
He even offered me I had nomoney, I was barely breaking
even at this tattoo shop I wasowning, and he encouraged me to

(52:26):
come back.
He would give me a tattoo fordirt cheap and talk me through
the whole thing, because he sawpromise in me and I'm really
grateful for that, because thenI immediately bought an iPad.
I immediately started tattooingthe things that I wanted to
touch.
You guys excited about yes.
Yeah, so, like I don't, everyseminar, every tattoo artist
I've met has helped me in someway, and it's really cool To see

(52:51):
how quickly it all came about.

Speaker 1 (52:53):
I love that.
They're like levels to it andWell, we'll get into it later,
but you have like kind of afuture plan for after you know
when you're done with this place, don't you?

Speaker 2 (53:08):
oh, definitely so.
I went to Thailand for afriend's birthday that works
here.
She's amazing, she's beautiful,christina Taylor, her work is
phenomenal.
But I went to Thailand and Imet this crew of tattoo artists
from Germany like there were, Ithink there were 14 of us.
The majority of them were fromGermany and they all worked

(53:29):
together and it was harmoniousand beautiful and we all did
mushrooms and watched the sunsetand stared at the moon together
and by the end of it theyoffered me a job.
So my next Adventure will bemoving to Germany.
I'm gonna go do a guest spotfirst and make sure everybody's

(53:51):
cool and it relax me, but 100%I'm ready to move the Europe.
I'm ready for the new goals,the new yes, exciting things in
my life.

Speaker 1 (53:58):
That's awesome.
I'm so happy for you.

Speaker 2 (54:00):
Thanks, dude.
Yeah, I'm excited for you tocome visit me.

Speaker 1 (54:03):
Oh my God.
Yeah, germany, it's going to beso much fun, and Portugal, you
guys got to come to.

Speaker 2 (54:06):
Portugal.
Oh, I will come to Portugal,for sure.

Speaker 1 (54:10):
Germany and.

Speaker 2 (54:10):
Portugal.
They're not that far away.

Speaker 1 (54:12):
They're not that far away.
Life in Grand Junction outsideof uh, tattooing, snowboarding I
know you do that modeling, um,you want to.
You want to give me how doesyour schedule work with all this
?
Like, how do you book what?
And you don't like business,but you do a lot of business.

Speaker 2 (54:34):
Yeah, I kind of fly by the seat of my pants.
I put tattooing number one,snowboarding number two, then my
boyfriend and my dog are likenumber three nice solid but,
like I, I don't plan anything orschedule very much except for
work.
I make sure I have workscheduled, I make money and then

(54:55):
snowboarding.
I have set snowboardcompetitions I have to go
through throughout the year andthose take priority, because
that's a dream that I want tocome true.
So organizing my life here is alot of leaving and going
outside and luckily, grandjunction is this cool place
where it's close to literallyeverything you can do.

(55:16):
You can go rock climbing andthe same day you can drive to
somewhere with snow and gosnowboarding.
Exact same day you can drivefour and a half hours and be in
two different major cities.
It's wild.
I wouldn't think it would bethat cool of a place, but it's
so close to everything you canchoose your own adventure every

(55:38):
day.

Speaker 1 (55:38):
I love that, because you need options yeah, I can't
say stuff it's impossible, it isum except for right now except
for right now.
You're in the zone, you're allgood, you're in chill mode.
Um there's, I don't know.
This is only my second timehere, but I've talked to some
people.
I even interviewed a guy likethe other day, right, my uber
driver, but we were talkingabout mental health and how it's

(56:01):
an issue and and um, there's alot of homelessness here and
there's been like stuff going onlegally with like some
non-profits they're supposed tobe, uh, clinics.
What do you call it?
A methadone thing?

Speaker 2 (56:15):
oh okay, yeah, I didn't hear about that you hear
about that one.

Speaker 1 (56:17):
You're too busy living a good life of art.
Um, there's that.
And then, uh, just there's avery high suicide rate here as
well, like extremely high.
Um, can you?
I mean I don't know if you cantalk about any of it, like if
you're around any of it all, butbut is it very apparent?

Speaker 2 (56:33):
oh, definitely.
I take my dog for a walk everymorning and I have to be on the
lookout for syringes because thehomeless people are all living
in the park next to my housebecause they got kicked out of
the last park they were in.
So you get out into the riverand you don't know what kind of
crazy homeless person is goingto be there.
Most of them are cool, but thenthere's some of them that are

(56:56):
like you just want to keep yourdistance.
There's definitely.
It's a warm climate here andhomeless people have an easier
time surviving and it's justautomatically going to draw
those in.
There is also a high level ofboredom here for kids.

(57:16):
Which is why so many kids aregetting into drugs and getting
into trouble is the fact thatthey're so bored, because none
of them have enough money to gorock climbing or snowboarding or
get out and their parents aretoo busy working to pay
attention.
So then all they have left todo is be like I'm stuck here in

(57:37):
this little town with nothing tofucking do, so I'm going to go
get in trouble with my friends,we're going to try some drugs.
Maybe we'll sell some drugs,who knows?
They're doing all the same shitI did when I was born and I can
see it happening with all ofthem and it's sad.
I would love more than anythingto put on some sort of art
clinic.

(57:57):
To put on some sort of artclinic, to put on some sort of
something where kids could havean opportunity to like try
snowboarding, try skiing, likeit's close yeah, it's not that
far away.

Speaker 1 (58:06):
Yeah, yeah, um, have you ever done something like
that or have been a part of anylike fundraising situations or
anything?
Because I've been wanting toput together, like I don't know,
a golf tournament for one,which is off topic, but
something to like yeah, it wasthe same thing as you know
something yeah, um, to help getthese kids like to not go down

(58:28):
that road.
Um, what do you?
What do you think?

Speaker 2 (58:31):
I don't know what kind of like I would love to
help in some way.
Yeah, I don't know if I'mcapable of planning it, true,
but I would love to help in someway.
Yeah, I don't know if I'mcapable of planning it, true,
but I would love to volunteerfor something like that.
Or I would even love to just belike hey, some kids are
interested in art.
They're fucking bored.
Have them tag along and I canteach, like a little mini

(58:54):
one-on-one art class, teach youhow to paint.
That's cool.

Speaker 1 (58:57):
That's an easy one.
That is an easy one, that iseasy, but it's very cool and
that's therapy.

Speaker 2 (59:01):
yeah, it is exactly, and it's half of therapy is the
fact that you're so bored,you're stuck with your own
feelings and thoughts and youlet it run wild and it drives
you fucking mad.
It's the point of depressionand like and heroin yeah, and
heroin and all of the bad thingsyou could possibly do is
because you're bored and yourlife has no purpose that's the

(59:25):
key right there.
Yo, you gotta have purpose yougotta find purpose, because I
mean, I complained when I wasaddicted to heroin all the time
that like, oh, my life is so badfor me, like everything bad
happens.
I realized later that I'm sosick of feeling sorry for myself

(59:45):
and I chose that I wanted otherpeople to feel sorry for me and
like I don't ever want thatagain.
Never again, because my life isfucking awesome, because I
choose for it to be awesome, andI think everybody else is
capable of that.

Speaker 1 (01:00:00):
But it's hard to get people to see that that's
possible because the world doesnot train you to think that way
it's crazy that it doesn't,though yeah, because it should
when, when you're doingsomething risky or you're doing
something that has, you know,high risk, high reward, is like
kind of the way I look at it,right, like going all in on your

(01:00:20):
dreams to be a tattoo artist orwhatever anybody's doing, if
you have people telling youthat's not what you should be
doing.
If enough people say it, you'regonna believe it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
I mean not you so it's like, yeah, but you can,
you can't.
You're around negative peopleenough.
It starts to rub off on you alittle bit a hundred thousand
percent yeah, that's why I justchoose to surround myself with
positive people like you thankyou so much.

Speaker 1 (01:00:46):
Uh, healthy life.
Uh, you said you were going tocome here because you're like
everyone's like on.
They're doing the best, likeyeah, is that what everyone is
doing?
Is everyone just?

Speaker 2 (01:00:56):
yeah, they go in roller coasters, you know.
Yeah, they're always doingsomething positive for their
life, whether it's traveling,arts seminars, whether they're
really healthy.
Like we have one guy that doesa cold plunge every single
morning.
He goes to the gym six days aweek, like, and then, like I did
that for a while too, I wasgoing to the gym twice a day for

(01:01:17):
like six days a week and thenit goes in waves.
But we're all healthy and we'reconscious, and the fact that
the people around us are alwaysdoing something like that is
motivational to continue to bein that healthy lifestyle and to
eat healthy.
And everybody gives me shitbecause my diet is crazy, but
it's really healthy and it'smotivated some of them to like,

(01:01:39):
cut some extra carbs out oftheir life.

Speaker 1 (01:01:41):
You know, yeah, when you're walking around all
shredded people are like what dothey eat?
What are they?
You know, like you are, whatyou eat.
You know what you put in yourbody is the fuel that runs your
engine.

Speaker 2 (01:01:52):
Yeah, if you put bad fuel, it's funny because we all
make fun of each other for thecool things that each other does
, like you know, yeah, like mydiet or like how he cold plunges
every day, and like we alltease each other about it but we
all admire each other about it.
Like I think the best kind offriends are the friends that can
give each other a lot of shit,absolutely.

Speaker 1 (01:02:11):
I agree with that wholeheartedly.
We got a lot of cool stuff.
I think I'm going to do likesome questions.

Speaker 2 (01:02:20):
Okay and, uh and yeah , and then we're done, and then
I can nap, and then you can nap,and then I can nap.

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
Um, all right, these are going to be just randos, and
then ones that are coming fromme, and then I have one question
from a gal Are we alone in theuniverse?
This is from me.

Speaker 2 (01:02:35):
Fuck no.

Speaker 1 (01:02:36):
I know Hell no.

Speaker 2 (01:02:37):
There's, like many different levels of us not being
alone, like differentdimensions, aliens, this
universe, nobody's alone ever.

Speaker 1 (01:02:47):
Not at all.
Yeah, not at all.
How do you nurse life?
That doesn't make sense.
What is the biggest mistakeyou've ever made in your life?

Speaker 2 (01:03:01):
Biggest mistake.

Speaker 1 (01:03:02):
Yeah, I mean there's no regrets in life, but like if
you would go back and be like Iprobably would have did that
different, I would do nothingdifferent.

Speaker 2 (01:03:11):
I mean, I feel like I should say like doing heroin
was a big fucking mistake, or orthe best.
Thing ever Unintentionally youyou know killing a bunch of
people because I sold themheroin, you know, yeah, that's a
huge mistake, but everythingthat came out of every dumb ass
fucking decision I've made in mylife has helped me get to

(01:03:31):
exactly where I am now, and Idon't think I would be the same
person had none of that everhappened, and I love who I am
right now.

Speaker 1 (01:03:44):
It's all about self-love.
I love that Autumn.
How are we supposed to treatothers?

Speaker 2 (01:03:55):
Exactly how you want to be treated.
I think I mean it's the dumbestthing you learn in middle
school.
But if you can take a half asecond before you say something
to somebody, or you especiallywith like social media and shit,
now, before you type something,a comment on somebody's post or
picture, and you're like, oh,you have a double chin in this.

(01:04:17):
Like would you really a saythat to their face and b say
that to yourself as an outsider?
that's the one right there likeyeah, like if you can take that
half a second and be like howwould I feel if somebody said
this to me?
You're like do I do?
I need to say this?

Speaker 1 (01:04:37):
it takes extra to to do that, to like your own energy
, like you're taking away fromsomething to give a negative
like negative energy, like thatyou know it's.

Speaker 2 (01:04:47):
I think the internet and social media has created
this field where we don't seetheir reaction.
So then everything you do isfine, but everything you do is
then hurting people.
Later on.
I've seen so many people cryingand just hating themselves and
going through a deep depressionjust because of some online

(01:05:10):
trolls saying something badabout a picture.

Speaker 1 (01:05:14):
It's sad about a picture.
It's sad um the young femalesuicide rates are like through
the roof since like social mediabecame like a big thing.
Oh, I can only imagine it'spretty crazy.
Um yeah, I'm trying to moveaway from it, like yeah I my
advertising basically is mewalking around with jj with
flyers and being like what's up.

Speaker 2 (01:05:35):
I think that's beautiful and that's I'm right
now trying to go back to thesame thing I'm trying to do
conventions, hand out my card,shake hands with people, email
back my clients who have tattoosin the past and ask them how
they're doing, and just reachout on a personal level instead
of just relying on Instagram toadvertise for me.

Speaker 1 (01:05:55):
Yeah, it's crazy.
We're going to change the game.
We're going to bring it me.
Yeah, it's crazy.
We're going to change the game.
We're going to bring it back.

Speaker 2 (01:06:03):
Yeah, do you believe in a higher power.
I believe in some sort ofhigher power yeah, I don't know
exactly what it is.
I believe everybody's higherpower is real.
I literally believe ineverything.
I think it's a good way to be,because I think everything is

(01:06:25):
possible yeah so why can'teverybody's beliefs be real?
Even if I don't necessarilyagree with it, it still could be
real.

Speaker 1 (01:06:36):
I very much believe that yeah, you know very
open-minded lady um how, how doyou uh treat, how do you
overcome, how did you overcomeyour anxiety and depression?
You said you, I know mushrooms,yeah for sure, like after
hairline.

Speaker 2 (01:06:55):
It was like a battle with this, especially social
anxiety and like large crowdsand stuff and public speaking.
This is fine because I'm justtalking to you.
Yeah, this is easy.
Yeah, um, but I struggled withit so much that I would have
panic, panic attacks, I woulddrink too much.
I would then smoke a bunch ofweed and just try to get as

(01:07:17):
fucked up as possible to likehandle interacting with human
beings.
Yeah, because I didn't know howto.
It felt awkward and it feltuncomfortable and it felt like I
was crawling out of my skinevery time yeah and then I would
just want to go hide in acorner, you know for no reason,
like nothing bad was happening.
Yeah, I just hated the feeling.
I get it, um, but when Istarted doing mushrooms, I

(01:07:37):
started even when I didn't wantto.
It started showing me like, hey, none of this shit is that
important.
Like, calm down, look at thecolors yeah everything's fine.
none of these people matter, infact.
None of these people matter, infact.
In most of these socialsituations where I have to talk

(01:08:00):
publicly to a big group, twopeople out of 100 are going to
remember what your name even is,you know Like what are you so
concerned about?
Yeah, Like it makes you look atreality and understand what's
actually important.

Speaker 1 (01:08:16):
Yeah.
And how many things we stressabout that are not important at
all the, the mushrooms willbring those things out of you,
like that, uh, being able tolook introspectively at things
and then being able to analyzethem and then move past, you
know like get over the hump sortof thing that's.
I think that's a huge part ofjust the mushrooms in general.

Speaker 2 (01:08:40):
Yeah, like even going through breakups, I noticed
when I did mushrooms after ahard breakup, I was sitting on
the side of a mountain watchingthe sunset Hi, mushrooms.
I was all crying and journalingand heartbroken.
I was like this is just acouple years of my life and I'm

(01:09:01):
still gonna live after this.
And it just all came to me onmushrooms that like I'm going to
be fine and this is just such atiny part of my life.
That feels really big right nowand I'm allowed to feel sad
right now, but my life isn'tover.

Speaker 1 (01:09:18):
It helps you realize those things.

Speaker 2 (01:09:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:09:22):
We've called each other during breakup scenarios.

Speaker 2 (01:09:24):
Oh, so many times, both of us.

Speaker 1 (01:09:26):
Yeah, so thank you for being that friend, by the
way.

Speaker 2 (01:09:29):
Oh, always.
And thank you for being thatfriend too.

Speaker 1 (01:09:32):
Absolutely.
As you know, I'm always here.
I think we covered pretty mucheverything.
Do you think there's anythingthat we missed that we were like
gonna talk about?

Speaker 2 (01:09:43):
No, I think we did, like the whole Autumn Hudson
life story.
Was this like four hours orsomething?

Speaker 1 (01:09:47):
I don't think so, but I really appreciate you doing
this.
Yeah, of course it means theworld to me.
Thank you so much.
Do you want to shout anybodyout and let anybody know your
stuff, or anything like that?

Speaker 2 (01:10:03):
Yeah, check out the church someday.
We're actually here at churchon a Sunday.

Speaker 1 (01:10:06):
We are.

Speaker 2 (01:10:07):
Elysium Studios in Grand Junction, colorado.
It's pretty rad.
My bosses are okay, everybodyelse is awesome.
Everybody else is awesome.
Um rj is the shit and I lookforward to his new therapy ranch
and I can't wait to see whereit takes you we didn't talk

(01:10:28):
about that.

Speaker 1 (01:10:29):
But yes, that is what I'm doing, thank you so much,
and I you're gonna come to ranchand ride horses oh yeah um,
thank you so much.
I appreciate you so so much.
You're a great friend and Iwant to say bye to everyone out
there.
I'm coming back to montana anduh, yeah, thank you, peace
everyone, bye.

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Hanging with Humans Podcast | Episode 18 | Autumn Hudson

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Hanging with Humans Podcast | Episode 18 | Autumn Hudson