Who we are, and the things that we believe about ourselves is what creates our identity, among other things. Internally, your identity is this mixture of personal opinions, perceptions, and rules that you have for yourself. And the reason why those things are so important to examine is because they make up the filter through which you see the rest of the world. The more aware we become of our beliefs, the better we understand ourselves and the more we can choose who we want to be moving forward.
In this episode, Tyler Simone discusses beliefs, the importance of positive self-talk, and how to turn your limiting beliefs into empowering ones.
Subscribe to the podcast so that you never miss an upload! And follow Tyler for more inspiration, and a behind the scenes look at her life, living happily self-conscious.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hi, I'm Tyler Simone and this is the Happily Self-Conscious podcast the show where it's cool to be self-conscious as a personal development
(00:10):
Enthusiast I love to learn how I can become better in all areas of life
And I want to share with you transformative tips and tricks to help you also become your best self together
We'll learn how we can become more self-conscious. Let's do it!
(00:42):
Welcome to episode number 12 of the Happily Self-Conscious podcast. Thank you so much for being here
I have a very special episode for you today and it's special because I have an announcement to share with you
The topic of the episode is pretty great too and every episode is special
But today is just a little extra extra special
(01:04):
So stay tuned until the end of the episode for the announcement that I just can't wait to share with you
In the meantime, let's jump into today's episode. So today
I really wanted to talk about beliefs
specifically personal or self beliefs which are the beliefs that we have about ourselves
(01:27):
I'll touch on self-talk and the ways that we can reframe the way we speak to ourselves so that it's more
Positive and helps us rather than hurts us because the way that we speak to ourselves can have
Pretty drastic effects on how we feel which impacts how we move out in the world
(01:47):
Who we are and the things that we believe about ourselves is what creates our identity
Among other things, you know, like your ethnicity for example
But internally your identity is this mixture of personal opinions
perceptions beliefs and even rules that you have for yourself and the reason why those things are so
(02:10):
Important to examine is because they make up the filter through which you see the rest of the world
Which explains why you hear things like you are what you believe or what you perceive is what you believe
I do agree that whatever you perceive to be reality is a reflection of what you truly believe about yourself and the world if
(02:32):
You believe that love exists and that there are great people out in the world
That is what you'll see and experience and the opposite is true
Unfortunately, if you believe that no one in this world is trustworthy and that everyone is out to get you
That is what you'll see and you'll start to create that experience for yourself
That becomes your reality. I am currently reading this book called soul coaching, which is so good
(03:00):
It consists of a 20-day program that is meant to help you discover who you truly are. So you're authentic self
I'm currently on day eight today
And there was recently a day where I was asked to look at my life as an observer
By really taking a step back and examining my internal dialogue my thoughts my values
(03:24):
concepts and perceptions about who I am and
The reason why this is so helpful is because sometimes we aren't even aware of the thoughts or beliefs that we have
Because they're so habitual. They're so normal for us
We might not even know that they're there which is kind of scary to think about
(03:44):
But the thing is that the more aware we become about our beliefs the better
We understand ourselves and the more we can choose who we want to be
Because the reality is that a lot of what we believe about ourselves and the world was talked to us
We didn't necessarily choose the beliefs ourselves
(04:06):
depending on how we grew up where we grew up who raised us and the statements we heard as
Children we end up becoming this being that we are today if you were maybe raised in an unsupportive
Environment you might not even know that there are actually supportive people who would love to be there for you
(04:27):
Did you grow up to believe that men are untrustworthy?
Well a belief you might have is that all men are dangerous
Untrustworthy and should be avoided because of it
You can probably see how that belief would play a part in how you interact with men what you expect of them and
Fears you have deep deep down. I reflect on my childhood a lot since starting my personal development journey because
(04:54):
All of the answers are there if you have any questions about your identity
Take a second and think about where you came from
Believe systems are passed down sometimes and I'm talking generational and as much as we may not
Want to be like the people who raised us or people in our families
(05:15):
Sometimes we will even treat ourselves the way our parents treated us
That is a quote from soul coaching which I had to highlight because it's just so good and it's not all bad
You know the good thing about all of this is that the more self-aware we become
The better we get at choosing what stays and what goes but it all does start with awareness and your willingness to just accept
(05:40):
Yourself and this includes accepting limiting beliefs that you might have
limiting beliefs are thoughts a state of mind or
Judgments that you think to be true that restrict you in some ways
limiting beliefs can come from
family values
your personal life
(06:00):
experiences and
Education and these beliefs could be about yourself or the world as a whole
You can have limiting beliefs about certain groups of people who have backgrounds that are different from yours
specific genders and other things when I think about limiting beliefs they remind me of
(06:21):
Black and white thinking with black and white thinking there is no middle. There's no wiggle room. You just believe that
Yes, this is true, and I just know it
It's very very dangerous and definitely limiting because your worldview is so small
the world and people
(06:42):
including yourself are so complex and to have limiting beliefs is to reduce people and the world down to
minute versions of what they actually are
When you accept these negative beliefs you might have because of what you've classified as quote-unquote bad
You can transform them into empowering beliefs, which means they become more positive
(07:07):
For example, I think that a limiting belief that people might have specifically men is that women nowadays are too independent
This is a limiting belief if you think about it because it can cause somebody to completely shut women down
Doing that doesn't allow you to see the beauty in women today
(07:29):
So to transform this into an empowering belief is to maybe say
Women today are a lot more strong-willed and capable of leadership
And that could come in handy when it comes to being a mother and pursuing her own passions
That allows you to open your mind and to consider independence to be a good quality
(07:49):
Rather than a bad one if you have a limiting belief about yourself like I'm too trusting
You can turn that around into I have a big heart and have a lot of love to share that sounds a lot more positive
You're acknowledging that yes, I do tend to trust other people quite easily
But it's not a quote-unquote bad thing. It's something about myself that I accept and actually love
(08:15):
It's not necessarily a negative trait
So not only can you transform negative beliefs
But you can choose not to live by them anymore
If you don't want to the things that you've been raised to believe may not truly make sense to you when you actually
Think about them or haven't been serving you up until this point
(08:37):
You can let them go, but you have to first acknowledge that they exist
I'm pretty sure I've talked about becoming a new version of yourself before because I
100% believe in that and I think it's a great thing to do and this is a part of that process
Don't feel like the beliefs you've had for 20 something years of your life are beliefs that you need to carry on
(09:02):
Because you don't have to the way in which you talk to yourself self-talk is not something that should go unnoticed
If you're like me you talk to yourself often
I'm talking mentally and verbally and I kind of have to talk to myself because I do live alone and who else am I supposed to talk to?
(09:22):
In all seriousness self-talk really has to do with your inner voice
The reason I wanted to make sure that I brought this up is because your beliefs are at the core of self-talk
Self-talk can either help you or it can hurt you if you're not careful when your self-talk is negative
It is judgmental critical pessimistic
(09:45):
untrusting worried and you know what's interesting about self-talk is
That people can tell when your self-talk is negative because you act the same way
Towards other people that you act towards yourself the way in which you speak to yourself shows you can't even help it
You can only give what you have and if you or someone else
(10:08):
Judges themselves really harshly are critical or they feel like nothing they can do is right
You will feel the same way towards other people a lot of times
The next time you encounter someone who is this way just know that inside
It's the same thing if not worse and it sucks to say and it's even harder to look within yourself
(10:33):
And to acknowledge that your self-talk is a little negative
But it's okay because you can change it anytime you want
Examine what it is you're saying to yourself. Is it true?
honestly, where did it come from and
Choose to replace those negative thoughts or comments towards yourself with more positive ones
(10:55):
Forget about what you learned forget about what hasn't worked in the past
How do you want to be moving forward if you want to feel better and be better?
Your self-talk is a great place to start you'll start to enjoy being you and
Those around you will feel better being around you
the goal is always more love and more joy and it all starts with you
(11:20):
I'm going to give you a few reframes that you can start using today to change that self-talk and your limiting beliefs
number one bad things always happen to me change that to I am capable of handling anything life throws at me
number two I have so much to do I'm
(11:42):
Overwhelmed change that to I'm grateful for the opportunities that I have and I've been given these responsibilities
Only because I can handle them and number three
I've never done this before and I don't think I'm capable
Change that to this is new for me and I have the skills I need to adapt and rise to the occasion
(12:04):
I wouldn't be here if I didn't have that ability
This year I've had to really think about what I truly believe about myself because it's so easy
To judge where you are and to be afraid that you aren't enough and that could be professionally
Personally in every area really and it's true that if you're limiting beliefs go unchecked
(12:26):
They start to run rampant you start using your current circumstance to confirm what you've believed for so long
And you didn't even know it so don't ignore what you're thinking or believing
Just take a look and adjust so that you can move forward feeling better all around
Ah, does anybody else feel better lighter? I don't know. I feel a lot lighter
(12:51):
Okay, so I have something very exciting to share with you. I am launching a book club
This is something that I've been thinking about doing for a while now because if you know me you know
I love to read specifically self-help books. Is it obvious?
And I really wanted to create a space where all of us who are looking to become
(13:15):
better in all areas of our lives could come together and read and learn together
I know that some of you may already be readers which is amazing
but I also know that others may be interested in getting into reading and
Reading can be a little intimidating sometimes
There are so many books to choose from and it can be really fun to have other people around to discuss
(13:40):
Your reading with so a book club seemed perfect to start because it'll give you the opportunity to learn new things
talk about how you feel about the reading out loud and
You can be a part of a larger community of people like you who are just as interested in
self-growth so the happily self-conscious book club is
(14:04):
Officially open today
specifically for you and for anyone you know who is wanting to learn more about themselves and the world if you are a fan of
this podcast this book club is
Definitely for you. I created it with you in mind. You can join for free by clicking the link down below in the show notes
(14:25):
We will be meeting once a month to discuss the latest book club choice and to just connect the book
We will be starting off with together is
Captivate the science of succeeding with people by Vanessa van Edwards a
Behavioral investigator and this book is all about how to take charge in social interactions
(14:49):
Captivate provides simple ways to solve people problems
So we'll be learning how to work a room which is super exciting how to read
Faces and how to talk to anyone
This book has been on my list of books to read for a while now
And it's perfect for our first read because you can walk away from the meetings and start practicing what we learn
(15:13):
Right away, so when you join the book club
You should see a poll with options for our first meeting which will be in late October
I wanted to give everyone time to get the book and get started on part one
Chapters one through five those are the chapters that we'll be discussing at our first meeting at the end of October
(15:34):
Once you join the group you'll receive email updates
And I will also be doing book club updates over on Instagram
So follow me at miss Tyler Simone so that you don't miss those
Before we go the quote of the day is
You begin to fly when you let go of self-limiting beliefs and allow your mind and
(15:57):
aspirations to rise to greater heights and
And one other quote because I just couldn't help myself if you accept a limiting belief
Then it will become a truth for you. I truly hope you enjoyed this episode
I am so grateful for you being here and for listening
And I hope that you will join me in the happily self-conscious book club because I love to meet you and to grow right along with you
(16:25):
If you enjoyed this episode be sure to click the follow button so you don't miss future episodes
And if you see another one on the list that you think looks interesting take a listen or just download it for later
I'll see you next time
(17:06):
You
Hi, I'm Tyler Simone and this is the Happily Self-Conscious podcast the show where it's cool to be self-conscious as a personal development
(00:10):
Enthusiast I love to learn how I can become better in all areas of life
And I want to share with you transformative tips and tricks to help you also become your best self together
We'll learn how we can become more self-conscious. Let's do it!
(00:42):
Welcome to episode number 12 of the Happily Self-Conscious podcast. Thank you so much for being here
I have a very special episode for you today and it's special because I have an announcement to share with you
The topic of the episode is pretty great too and every episode is special
But today is just a little extra extra special
(01:04):
So stay tuned until the end of the episode for the announcement that I just can't wait to share with you
In the meantime, let's jump into today's episode. So today
I really wanted to talk about beliefs
specifically personal or self beliefs which are the beliefs that we have about ourselves
(01:27):
I'll touch on self-talk and the ways that we can reframe the way we speak to ourselves so that it's more
Positive and helps us rather than hurts us because the way that we speak to ourselves can have
Pretty drastic effects on how we feel which impacts how we move out in the world
(01:47):
Who we are and the things that we believe about ourselves is what creates our identity
Among other things, you know, like your ethnicity for example
But internally your identity is this mixture of personal opinions
perceptions beliefs and even rules that you have for yourself and the reason why those things are so
(02:10):
Important to examine is because they make up the filter through which you see the rest of the world
Which explains why you hear things like you are what you believe or what you perceive is what you believe
I do agree that whatever you perceive to be reality is a reflection of what you truly believe about yourself and the world if
(02:32):
You believe that love exists and that there are great people out in the world
That is what you'll see and experience and the opposite is true
Unfortunately, if you believe that no one in this world is trustworthy and that everyone is out to get you
That is what you'll see and you'll start to create that experience for yourself
That becomes your reality. I am currently reading this book called soul coaching, which is so good
(03:00):
It consists of a 20-day program that is meant to help you discover who you truly are. So you're authentic self
I'm currently on day eight today
And there was recently a day where I was asked to look at my life as an observer
By really taking a step back and examining my internal dialogue my thoughts my values
(03:24):
concepts and perceptions about who I am and
The reason why this is so helpful is because sometimes we aren't even aware of the thoughts or beliefs that we have
Because they're so habitual. They're so normal for us
We might not even know that they're there which is kind of scary to think about
(03:44):
But the thing is that the more aware we become about our beliefs the better
We understand ourselves and the more we can choose who we want to be
Because the reality is that a lot of what we believe about ourselves and the world was talked to us
We didn't necessarily choose the beliefs ourselves
(04:06):
depending on how we grew up where we grew up who raised us and the statements we heard as
Children we end up becoming this being that we are today if you were maybe raised in an unsupportive
Environment you might not even know that there are actually supportive people who would love to be there for you
(04:27):
Did you grow up to believe that men are untrustworthy?
Well a belief you might have is that all men are dangerous
Untrustworthy and should be avoided because of it
You can probably see how that belief would play a part in how you interact with men what you expect of them and
Fears you have deep deep down. I reflect on my childhood a lot since starting my personal development journey because
(04:54):
All of the answers are there if you have any questions about your identity
Take a second and think about where you came from
Believe systems are passed down sometimes and I'm talking generational and as much as we may not
Want to be like the people who raised us or people in our families
(05:15):
Sometimes we will even treat ourselves the way our parents treated us
That is a quote from soul coaching which I had to highlight because it's just so good and it's not all bad
You know the good thing about all of this is that the more self-aware we become
The better we get at choosing what stays and what goes but it all does start with awareness and your willingness to just accept
(05:40):
Yourself and this includes accepting limiting beliefs that you might have
limiting beliefs are thoughts a state of mind or
Judgments that you think to be true that restrict you in some ways
limiting beliefs can come from
family values
your personal life
(06:00):
experiences and
Education and these beliefs could be about yourself or the world as a whole
You can have limiting beliefs about certain groups of people who have backgrounds that are different from yours
specific genders and other things when I think about limiting beliefs they remind me of
(06:21):
Black and white thinking with black and white thinking there is no middle. There's no wiggle room. You just believe that
Yes, this is true, and I just know it
It's very very dangerous and definitely limiting because your worldview is so small
the world and people
(06:42):
including yourself are so complex and to have limiting beliefs is to reduce people and the world down to
minute versions of what they actually are
When you accept these negative beliefs you might have because of what you've classified as quote-unquote bad
You can transform them into empowering beliefs, which means they become more positive
(07:07):
For example, I think that a limiting belief that people might have specifically men is that women nowadays are too independent
This is a limiting belief if you think about it because it can cause somebody to completely shut women down
Doing that doesn't allow you to see the beauty in women today
(07:29):
So to transform this into an empowering belief is to maybe say
Women today are a lot more strong-willed and capable of leadership
And that could come in handy when it comes to being a mother and pursuing her own passions
That allows you to open your mind and to consider independence to be a good quality
(07:49):
Rather than a bad one if you have a limiting belief about yourself like I'm too trusting
You can turn that around into I have a big heart and have a lot of love to share that sounds a lot more positive
You're acknowledging that yes, I do tend to trust other people quite easily
But it's not a quote-unquote bad thing. It's something about myself that I accept and actually love
(08:15):
It's not necessarily a negative trait
So not only can you transform negative beliefs
But you can choose not to live by them anymore
If you don't want to the things that you've been raised to believe may not truly make sense to you when you actually
Think about them or haven't been serving you up until this point
(08:37):
You can let them go, but you have to first acknowledge that they exist
I'm pretty sure I've talked about becoming a new version of yourself before because I
100% believe in that and I think it's a great thing to do and this is a part of that process
Don't feel like the beliefs you've had for 20 something years of your life are beliefs that you need to carry on
(09:02):
Because you don't have to the way in which you talk to yourself self-talk is not something that should go unnoticed
If you're like me you talk to yourself often
I'm talking mentally and verbally and I kind of have to talk to myself because I do live alone and who else am I supposed to talk to?
(09:22):
In all seriousness self-talk really has to do with your inner voice
The reason I wanted to make sure that I brought this up is because your beliefs are at the core of self-talk
Self-talk can either help you or it can hurt you if you're not careful when your self-talk is negative
It is judgmental critical pessimistic
(09:45):
untrusting worried and you know what's interesting about self-talk is
That people can tell when your self-talk is negative because you act the same way
Towards other people that you act towards yourself the way in which you speak to yourself shows you can't even help it
You can only give what you have and if you or someone else
(10:08):
Judges themselves really harshly are critical or they feel like nothing they can do is right
You will feel the same way towards other people a lot of times
The next time you encounter someone who is this way just know that inside
It's the same thing if not worse and it sucks to say and it's even harder to look within yourself
(10:33):
And to acknowledge that your self-talk is a little negative
But it's okay because you can change it anytime you want
Examine what it is you're saying to yourself. Is it true?
honestly, where did it come from and
Choose to replace those negative thoughts or comments towards yourself with more positive ones
(10:55):
Forget about what you learned forget about what hasn't worked in the past
How do you want to be moving forward if you want to feel better and be better?
Your self-talk is a great place to start you'll start to enjoy being you and
Those around you will feel better being around you
the goal is always more love and more joy and it all starts with you
(11:20):
I'm going to give you a few reframes that you can start using today to change that self-talk and your limiting beliefs
number one bad things always happen to me change that to I am capable of handling anything life throws at me
number two I have so much to do I'm
(11:42):
Overwhelmed change that to I'm grateful for the opportunities that I have and I've been given these responsibilities
Only because I can handle them and number three
I've never done this before and I don't think I'm capable
Change that to this is new for me and I have the skills I need to adapt and rise to the occasion
(12:04):
I wouldn't be here if I didn't have that ability
This year I've had to really think about what I truly believe about myself because it's so easy
To judge where you are and to be afraid that you aren't enough and that could be professionally
Personally in every area really and it's true that if you're limiting beliefs go unchecked
(12:26):
They start to run rampant you start using your current circumstance to confirm what you've believed for so long
And you didn't even know it so don't ignore what you're thinking or believing
Just take a look and adjust so that you can move forward feeling better all around
Ah, does anybody else feel better lighter? I don't know. I feel a lot lighter
(12:51):
Okay, so I have something very exciting to share with you. I am launching a book club
This is something that I've been thinking about doing for a while now because if you know me you know
I love to read specifically self-help books. Is it obvious?
And I really wanted to create a space where all of us who are looking to become
(13:15):
better in all areas of our lives could come together and read and learn together
I know that some of you may already be readers which is amazing
but I also know that others may be interested in getting into reading and
Reading can be a little intimidating sometimes
There are so many books to choose from and it can be really fun to have other people around to discuss
(13:40):
Your reading with so a book club seemed perfect to start because it'll give you the opportunity to learn new things
talk about how you feel about the reading out loud and
You can be a part of a larger community of people like you who are just as interested in
self-growth so the happily self-conscious book club is
(14:04):
Officially open today
specifically for you and for anyone you know who is wanting to learn more about themselves and the world if you are a fan of
this podcast this book club is
Definitely for you. I created it with you in mind. You can join for free by clicking the link down below in the show notes
(14:25):
We will be meeting once a month to discuss the latest book club choice and to just connect the book
We will be starting off with together is
Captivate the science of succeeding with people by Vanessa van Edwards a
Behavioral investigator and this book is all about how to take charge in social interactions
(14:49):
Captivate provides simple ways to solve people problems
So we'll be learning how to work a room which is super exciting how to read
Faces and how to talk to anyone
This book has been on my list of books to read for a while now
And it's perfect for our first read because you can walk away from the meetings and start practicing what we learn
(15:13):
Right away, so when you join the book club
You should see a poll with options for our first meeting which will be in late October
I wanted to give everyone time to get the book and get started on part one
Chapters one through five those are the chapters that we'll be discussing at our first meeting at the end of October
(15:34):
Once you join the group you'll receive email updates
And I will also be doing book club updates over on Instagram
So follow me at miss Tyler Simone so that you don't miss those
Before we go the quote of the day is
You begin to fly when you let go of self-limiting beliefs and allow your mind and
(15:57):
aspirations to rise to greater heights and
And one other quote because I just couldn't help myself if you accept a limiting belief
Then it will become a truth for you. I truly hope you enjoyed this episode
I am so grateful for you being here and for listening
And I hope that you will join me in the happily self-conscious book club because I love to meet you and to grow right along with you
(16:25):
If you enjoyed this episode be sure to click the follow button so you don't miss future episodes
And if you see another one on the list that you think looks interesting take a listen or just download it for later
I'll see you next time
(17:06):
You
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