September 25, 2023 • 16 mins
Your gifts are your superpowers. They are what makes you different! And when you suppress the gifts that you have, you’re not embracing all of who you are.
In this episode, Tyler Simone describes experiences where she's been questioned and critiqued about her gifts, why being "rare" is a good thing, and why embracing your gifts is so important.
Subscribe to the podcast so that you never miss an upload! And follow Tyler for more inspiration, and a behind the scenes look at her life, living happily self-conscious.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hi, I'm Tyler Simone and this is the Happily Self-Conscious podcast, the show where it's
(00:06):
cool to be self-conscious.
As a personal development enthusiast, I love to learn how I can become better in all areas
of life and I want to share with you transformative tips and tricks to help you also become your
best self.
Together, we'll learn how we can become more self-conscious.
Let's do it.
(00:26):
Hello there.
Welcome to episode number 13 of the Happily Self-Conscious podcast.
(00:49):
Can you believe that it is September?
We are three months away, well about three months away from 2024.
Can you believe it?
This is actually a pretty exciting time.
I always feel like I'm in hibernation around this time, just simmering, waiting to pop
out in the new year.
(01:10):
The holidays are creeping up.
Things are a little bit slower now that summer's over.
It might be a little early for New Year's resolutions, but I do think that it's the perfect
time to start looking ahead and deciding what you want to do next.
Who do you want to be in the new year?
It has definitely been on my mind lately, just taking a lot of notes, brainstorming,
(01:34):
and also celebrating all that this year has come to be.
I don't think I've had a year like 2023 ever in my life.
The amount of lessons I've learned this year is out of this world, but I'm so grateful
for those, of course.
A wise woman once said, people who want the best for you want you to be your best.
(01:58):
That wise woman is Oprah, one of my favorite people on this planet and a huge mentor of
mine.
I heard that statement in one of her speeches that I was listening to on my walk today and
it was right on time.
Today's episode is all about gifts, your gifts, and allowing those gifts to take center stage.
(02:22):
I was inspired to talk about this topic after listening to the Earn Your Happy podcast.
It's hosted by Lori Harder.
Side note, that is one of my favorite podcasts.
It's really a great one for women who have big dreams or are starting or running a business
in case you're looking for new podcasts to listen to.
(02:43):
On this specific podcast episode, Lori and her guest, Sunny Bonnell, who is a co-founder
for the Rare Breed brand, were discussing Sunny's book that I definitely plan on reading
and it talks all about being a rare breed.
The episode was all about seeing your vices as virtues and what makes being a rare breed
(03:08):
so powerful.
Someone who is a rare breed is someone who rocks the boat.
They don't necessarily play by the rules and they're seen as unconventional as it pertains
to society standards, of course.
What makes them rare are their traits or their personal characteristics that are sometimes
(03:31):
seen as negative rather than positive.
What I love about this idea of being a rare breed is that you allow your gifts to shine
rather than ignoring them or trying to get rid of them.
You stop suppressing the special traits that you have in order to fit in and instead hone
(03:54):
in on them and make them work for you.
There are seven traits according to the book.
There is rebellious, audacious, obsessed, hot-blooded, weird, hypnotic, and emotional.
I'm thinking that I have a concoction going on.
Maybe a little rebellious, audacious, weird, hypnotic, and emotional.
(04:21):
Heavy on the emotional trait, let's just be honest.
Your gift or in this case, your rare breed trait or traits are your superpowers.
It's what makes you different.
What makes you stand out and when you suppress the gifts that you have, you're not embracing
all of who you are.
(04:41):
You want to know something?
This might blow your mind.
I know it blew mine for sure.
The things that you were most teased about as a child and maybe even as an adult are
your gifts.
How crazy is that?
And sometimes your gifts are so apparent, but at the same time, so deeply ingrained in
(05:04):
who you are in your day-to-day life that you don't classify them as gifts.
You just think, oh, that's just the way I am.
So not only can others push you to believe that the things that are special about you
are quote, unquote, bad things or weird, not natural, but you're also so used to being
(05:26):
you that you have no idea that you are gifted in many ways.
Do you love to read, want to get more into reading or just really enjoy personal development
like I do?
I invite you to join me over in the happily self-conscious book club, a free virtual book
(05:48):
club brought to you by bookclubs.com, designed for anyone who is looking to connect with
other people who are on their self-growth journey.
I am super excited about this new opportunity to connect with you and to discuss different
ways that we can become so much more effective in the way that we show up in the world, personally
(06:08):
and professionally.
We are all so different.
We're in different stages.
We've learned different lessons so far, but we do have one thing in common.
We are looking to become even better, smarter and more efficient.
I will be joining you and the other book club members live once a month to discuss our most
(06:29):
recent book club pick, which will be an inspiring and life-changing self-help novel.
So we'll be discussing topics like emotional intelligence, intuition, projection, perfectionism,
charisma, presence, leadership and so much more to help us all on our individual self-growth
journeys.
(06:50):
This book club is meant to foster community and to spark interesting conversations.
I would love for you to join me in becoming even more self-conscious.
Click the link located in the show notes to join today.
It's just one click away.
It occurred to me recently that, oh my gosh, one of my gifts is happiness.
(07:14):
I started to realize this a few years ago, actually, and it's only become more apparent
as I've gotten older, but this concept of the rare breed and allowing your gifts to
shine really solidified it for me.
The reason why I believe that being happy is a gift of mine is because my ability to
(07:36):
be happy, despite what's going on around me, has always come easy to me and that ability
has been critiqued and questioned ever since I was a little girl.
I cannot tell you how many times people have asked me how I do it.
(07:56):
Why are you so happy all the time?
Why do you smile so much?
And to be completely honest with you, it used to make me question myself.
I used to think that something was wrong with me.
I just couldn't understand why that ability was questioned so much and why it wasn't something
(08:17):
people found great about me because I wasn't being asked in a positive way.
Those questions were coming from a confused place and despite me being young, I knew that
that was odd because isn't happiness something everybody wants?
Isn't positivity the goal?
(08:38):
It was really weird to me and let me tell you, this hasn't completely gone away, unfortunately,
but I am questioned a lot less now that I'm older, thankfully.
I can say that now I allow this gift that I've always had to lead the way and I've realized
that it is rare being able to see the positive side of things, to see the good in every situation
(09:05):
is a gift.
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
I've turned what's seen sometimes or was seen as a vice or a weird trait in the eyes
of many into a virtue or something special and it's the choice to allow that gift to
shine that has changed my life in more ways than one.
(09:30):
Even if your gift makes other people feel uncomfortable, it is not to be hidden.
What I find is that other people who have embraced their own gifts will embrace yours
too.
It's such a simple concept but it makes a lot of sense.
Those who do not embrace all that they are can't do that for you.
(09:54):
It's impossible and so when shining your light and unwrapping your gift, you attract
the right people to you.
They get it because they've done it too.
They know what it's like to be unapologetically themselves so they are rooting for you, not
tearing you down and there's a lot of proof around us of this being the case.
(10:18):
I'll give you another example of a gift of mine and hopefully this is helping you to
uncover those gifts within yourself.
My voice, the way that I speak, has also been something that was critiqued for years.
Not so much now but in childhood, the way I spoke was not always appealing to people.
(10:41):
I was told that I talked like a white girl, other black people would look at me funny,
I was called an Oreo and it was painful and if you know about that Oreo term, you know,
it's pretty painful.
I stopped allowing that critique to hold me back in college when I really got into YouTube.
(11:03):
I had my own radio show, became an entertainment news journalist and now this podcast, this
podcast is the biggest FU to that critique because I do it every week and my voice is
the focal point.
I mean, if this is not me embracing that gift, I don't know what is.
(11:25):
What I came to find is that the way that I speak now is no different than the way that
I spoke back when people would try to tear me down.
This has been a gift that I've always had.
The difference is that I'm fully leaning into that gift.
I'm going full force.
(11:45):
To be rare is to be brave and it's to let yourself be seen no matter what.
Not only does it feel good but it's so important because when you allow parts of yourself to
be silenced, you're not showing up.
You're playing small, you're hiding and that doesn't feel good and how you feel is most
(12:07):
important.
You owe it to yourself to unwrap your gifts and be rare because you are.
I don't know about you but being ordinary, that doesn't sound fun.
It's not going to cut it for me.
You don't do anyone a favor by being ordinary on purpose.
I know you have gifts because we all do and embracing them is not always easy especially
(12:34):
if you've been letting them fall to the wayside all of this time but what can you start doing
to let them shine today?
Well, first, expect people not to understand your gift.
We can't be surprised by misunderstandings and critique if we expect it to happen.
(12:57):
It is to be expected because it's our gift, not theirs.
So just giggle and move on and if allowing your gift to shine is a new thing.
If you've been one way for a really long time but you really want to start embracing your
gift, be okay with whatever comes next.
If that means leaving a situation, be okay with that and just remember that you are your
(13:22):
first priority and in order to be completely comfortable in your body every single day,
this is necessary.
No one who is meant to be around for the long haul is going to require you to play small.
Only surround yourself with those who honor and praise your gifts and release those who
question them.
(13:44):
And don't look outside of yourself for approval.
Don't wait for anyone else to tell you that it's okay to be all that you are.
Not only will that moment never truly come but because a lot of people are not allowing
their own gifts to shine, they might tell you to tone it down or ask why you are the
(14:05):
way you are.
So allow your default to be to shine.
The right time to start showcasing your gift is the moment you realize that that gift is
there.
I believe that there comes a time when we get tired of playing it small and our gifts
have no choice but to be seen.
(14:26):
We have no choice but to be rare and that means something different for everybody.
We can't hide our gifts because hiding them actually becomes painful and we stop our own
growth because our gifts make other people uncomfortable.
We can't let that happen.
There is no reward for being less rare.
(14:47):
We can't empower other people in that position.
We can't progress in our careers.
We stay in rooms that we no longer belong in and we walk around with this deep sense
that we are not whole.
I don't know what your gift is but I know that you have one or many and I hope that
you find beauty in being rare and different and groundbreaking and strange and misunderstood
(15:13):
because it makes life fun and you grow so, so much faster by embracing your gifts and
letting them shine no matter what's going on and no matter who's around.
And now for the quote of the day.
If you have talent, use it in every which way possible.
(15:35):
Don't hoard it.
Don't dole it out like a miser.
Spend it lavishly like a millionaire intent on going broke.
I truly hope you enjoyed this episode today and I hope that you release your gifts to
the world because if no one has told you, I want you to know that your gifts are appreciated
(15:56):
and you deserve to share them with the world.
I hope you have a great week.
If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to click the follow button so you don't miss future
episodes and if you see another one on the list that you think looks interesting, take
a listen or just download it for later.
I'll see you next time.
Hi, I'm Tyler Simone and this is the Happily Self-Conscious podcast, the show where it's
(00:06):
cool to be self-conscious.
As a personal development enthusiast, I love to learn how I can become better in all areas
of life and I want to share with you transformative tips and tricks to help you also become your
best self.
Together, we'll learn how we can become more self-conscious.
Let's do it.
(00:26):
Hello there.
Welcome to episode number 13 of the Happily Self-Conscious podcast.
(00:49):
Can you believe that it is September?
We are three months away, well about three months away from 2024.
Can you believe it?
This is actually a pretty exciting time.
I always feel like I'm in hibernation around this time, just simmering, waiting to pop
out in the new year.
(01:10):
The holidays are creeping up.
Things are a little bit slower now that summer's over.
It might be a little early for New Year's resolutions, but I do think that it's the perfect
time to start looking ahead and deciding what you want to do next.
Who do you want to be in the new year?
It has definitely been on my mind lately, just taking a lot of notes, brainstorming,
(01:34):
and also celebrating all that this year has come to be.
I don't think I've had a year like 2023 ever in my life.
The amount of lessons I've learned this year is out of this world, but I'm so grateful
for those, of course.
A wise woman once said, people who want the best for you want you to be your best.
(01:58):
That wise woman is Oprah, one of my favorite people on this planet and a huge mentor of
mine.
I heard that statement in one of her speeches that I was listening to on my walk today and
it was right on time.
Today's episode is all about gifts, your gifts, and allowing those gifts to take center stage.
(02:22):
I was inspired to talk about this topic after listening to the Earn Your Happy podcast.
It's hosted by Lori Harder.
Side note, that is one of my favorite podcasts.
It's really a great one for women who have big dreams or are starting or running a business
in case you're looking for new podcasts to listen to.
(02:43):
On this specific podcast episode, Lori and her guest, Sunny Bonnell, who is a co-founder
for the Rare Breed brand, were discussing Sunny's book that I definitely plan on reading
and it talks all about being a rare breed.
The episode was all about seeing your vices as virtues and what makes being a rare breed
(03:08):
so powerful.
Someone who is a rare breed is someone who rocks the boat.
They don't necessarily play by the rules and they're seen as unconventional as it pertains
to society standards, of course.
What makes them rare are their traits or their personal characteristics that are sometimes
(03:31):
seen as negative rather than positive.
What I love about this idea of being a rare breed is that you allow your gifts to shine
rather than ignoring them or trying to get rid of them.
You stop suppressing the special traits that you have in order to fit in and instead hone
(03:54):
in on them and make them work for you.
There are seven traits according to the book.
There is rebellious, audacious, obsessed, hot-blooded, weird, hypnotic, and emotional.
I'm thinking that I have a concoction going on.
Maybe a little rebellious, audacious, weird, hypnotic, and emotional.
(04:21):
Heavy on the emotional trait, let's just be honest.
Your gift or in this case, your rare breed trait or traits are your superpowers.
It's what makes you different.
What makes you stand out and when you suppress the gifts that you have, you're not embracing
all of who you are.
(04:41):
You want to know something?
This might blow your mind.
I know it blew mine for sure.
The things that you were most teased about as a child and maybe even as an adult are
your gifts.
How crazy is that?
And sometimes your gifts are so apparent, but at the same time, so deeply ingrained in
(05:04):
who you are in your day-to-day life that you don't classify them as gifts.
You just think, oh, that's just the way I am.
So not only can others push you to believe that the things that are special about you
are quote, unquote, bad things or weird, not natural, but you're also so used to being
(05:26):
you that you have no idea that you are gifted in many ways.
Do you love to read, want to get more into reading or just really enjoy personal development
like I do?
I invite you to join me over in the happily self-conscious book club, a free virtual book
(05:48):
club brought to you by bookclubs.com, designed for anyone who is looking to connect with
other people who are on their self-growth journey.
I am super excited about this new opportunity to connect with you and to discuss different
ways that we can become so much more effective in the way that we show up in the world, personally
(06:08):
and professionally.
We are all so different.
We're in different stages.
We've learned different lessons so far, but we do have one thing in common.
We are looking to become even better, smarter and more efficient.
I will be joining you and the other book club members live once a month to discuss our most
(06:29):
recent book club pick, which will be an inspiring and life-changing self-help novel.
So we'll be discussing topics like emotional intelligence, intuition, projection, perfectionism,
charisma, presence, leadership and so much more to help us all on our individual self-growth
journeys.
(06:50):
This book club is meant to foster community and to spark interesting conversations.
I would love for you to join me in becoming even more self-conscious.
Click the link located in the show notes to join today.
It's just one click away.
It occurred to me recently that, oh my gosh, one of my gifts is happiness.
(07:14):
I started to realize this a few years ago, actually, and it's only become more apparent
as I've gotten older, but this concept of the rare breed and allowing your gifts to
shine really solidified it for me.
The reason why I believe that being happy is a gift of mine is because my ability to
(07:36):
be happy, despite what's going on around me, has always come easy to me and that ability
has been critiqued and questioned ever since I was a little girl.
I cannot tell you how many times people have asked me how I do it.
(07:56):
Why are you so happy all the time?
Why do you smile so much?
And to be completely honest with you, it used to make me question myself.
I used to think that something was wrong with me.
I just couldn't understand why that ability was questioned so much and why it wasn't something
(08:17):
people found great about me because I wasn't being asked in a positive way.
Those questions were coming from a confused place and despite me being young, I knew that
that was odd because isn't happiness something everybody wants?
Isn't positivity the goal?
(08:38):
It was really weird to me and let me tell you, this hasn't completely gone away, unfortunately,
but I am questioned a lot less now that I'm older, thankfully.
I can say that now I allow this gift that I've always had to lead the way and I've realized
that it is rare being able to see the positive side of things, to see the good in every situation
(09:05):
is a gift.
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
I've turned what's seen sometimes or was seen as a vice or a weird trait in the eyes
of many into a virtue or something special and it's the choice to allow that gift to
shine that has changed my life in more ways than one.
(09:30):
Even if your gift makes other people feel uncomfortable, it is not to be hidden.
What I find is that other people who have embraced their own gifts will embrace yours
too.
It's such a simple concept but it makes a lot of sense.
Those who do not embrace all that they are can't do that for you.
(09:54):
It's impossible and so when shining your light and unwrapping your gift, you attract
the right people to you.
They get it because they've done it too.
They know what it's like to be unapologetically themselves so they are rooting for you, not
tearing you down and there's a lot of proof around us of this being the case.
(10:18):
I'll give you another example of a gift of mine and hopefully this is helping you to
uncover those gifts within yourself.
My voice, the way that I speak, has also been something that was critiqued for years.
Not so much now but in childhood, the way I spoke was not always appealing to people.
(10:41):
I was told that I talked like a white girl, other black people would look at me funny,
I was called an Oreo and it was painful and if you know about that Oreo term, you know,
it's pretty painful.
I stopped allowing that critique to hold me back in college when I really got into YouTube.
(11:03):
I had my own radio show, became an entertainment news journalist and now this podcast, this
podcast is the biggest FU to that critique because I do it every week and my voice is
the focal point.
I mean, if this is not me embracing that gift, I don't know what is.
(11:25):
What I came to find is that the way that I speak now is no different than the way that
I spoke back when people would try to tear me down.
This has been a gift that I've always had.
The difference is that I'm fully leaning into that gift.
I'm going full force.
(11:45):
To be rare is to be brave and it's to let yourself be seen no matter what.
Not only does it feel good but it's so important because when you allow parts of yourself to
be silenced, you're not showing up.
You're playing small, you're hiding and that doesn't feel good and how you feel is most
(12:07):
important.
You owe it to yourself to unwrap your gifts and be rare because you are.
I don't know about you but being ordinary, that doesn't sound fun.
It's not going to cut it for me.
You don't do anyone a favor by being ordinary on purpose.
I know you have gifts because we all do and embracing them is not always easy especially
(12:34):
if you've been letting them fall to the wayside all of this time but what can you start doing
to let them shine today?
Well, first, expect people not to understand your gift.
We can't be surprised by misunderstandings and critique if we expect it to happen.
(12:57):
It is to be expected because it's our gift, not theirs.
So just giggle and move on and if allowing your gift to shine is a new thing.
If you've been one way for a really long time but you really want to start embracing your
gift, be okay with whatever comes next.
If that means leaving a situation, be okay with that and just remember that you are your
(13:22):
first priority and in order to be completely comfortable in your body every single day,
this is necessary.
No one who is meant to be around for the long haul is going to require you to play small.
Only surround yourself with those who honor and praise your gifts and release those who
question them.
(13:44):
And don't look outside of yourself for approval.
Don't wait for anyone else to tell you that it's okay to be all that you are.
Not only will that moment never truly come but because a lot of people are not allowing
their own gifts to shine, they might tell you to tone it down or ask why you are the
(14:05):
way you are.
So allow your default to be to shine.
The right time to start showcasing your gift is the moment you realize that that gift is
there.
I believe that there comes a time when we get tired of playing it small and our gifts
have no choice but to be seen.
(14:26):
We have no choice but to be rare and that means something different for everybody.
We can't hide our gifts because hiding them actually becomes painful and we stop our own
growth because our gifts make other people uncomfortable.
We can't let that happen.
There is no reward for being less rare.
(14:47):
We can't empower other people in that position.
We can't progress in our careers.
We stay in rooms that we no longer belong in and we walk around with this deep sense
that we are not whole.
I don't know what your gift is but I know that you have one or many and I hope that
you find beauty in being rare and different and groundbreaking and strange and misunderstood
(15:13):
because it makes life fun and you grow so, so much faster by embracing your gifts and
letting them shine no matter what's going on and no matter who's around.
And now for the quote of the day.
If you have talent, use it in every which way possible.
(15:35):
Don't hoard it.
Don't dole it out like a miser.
Spend it lavishly like a millionaire intent on going broke.
I truly hope you enjoyed this episode today and I hope that you release your gifts to
the world because if no one has told you, I want you to know that your gifts are appreciated
(15:56):
and you deserve to share them with the world.
I hope you have a great week.
If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to click the follow button so you don't miss future
episodes and if you see another one on the list that you think looks interesting, take
a listen or just download it for later.
I'll see you next time.
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