July 7, 2025 • 39 mins
What happens when a nonprofit leader tells the whole truth — the hard, human, healing truth?
In this soul-stirring episode, nonprofit consultant and author Caroline Wienecke opens up about her journey through trauma, homelessness, and finding strength through community support.
She shares how these life experiences shaped her work in the nonprofit sector, and how her book, Finding You, is helping nonprofit professionals rediscover the power of authenticity, empathy, and real connection.
Caroline’s insights will challenge the way you think about nonprofit leadership, burnout, communication, and what it really means to serve others.
🎙️ This episode is for you if you’re:
A nonprofit professional or executive
A mission-driven entrepreneur
Working in fundraising, DEI, or social impact
Someone craving deeper meaning in your work
🔑 Key Topics Covered:
The hidden emotional cost of nonprofit work
The intersection of healing and leadership
Why vulnerability is a superpower in the social impact space
Behind the scenes of writing Finding You
How to build healthier, more human-centered organizations
#NonprofitPodcast #SocialImpact #TraumaHealing #NonprofitLeadership #FindingYou #CarolineWienecke #MentalHealthInNonprofits #AuthenticLeadership #WomenInLeadership #BurnoutRecovery #EmpathyAtWork #NonprofitConsulting #CommunitySupport #NonprofitStories #PurposeDrivenWork #LeadershipWithHeart
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Coming up, we crave other peopleand we crave understanding.
We weren't meant to be isolated and alone.
And I think that that's what nonprofits can bring.
I think that's what this book can bring.
I think that's what social mediacan bring and all these
different things if we if we useit correctly.
Obviously, I think of social media can also be isolating.
(00:24):
But no matter what, when we're authentic, that's when community
can be built. This episode is sponsored by
Better Help. A couple years ago, I went
through one of the toughest health episodes of my life.
I found myself in a really, really dark place and honestly,
it felt like the world was caving in all around me.
I didn't know where to turn or what to do.
(00:45):
I knew I needed something, but it just seemed like nothing was
working. And therapy, Well, therapy
didn't work for me in the past. But then, with the encouragement
of my wife, I decided to give today's sponsor, Better Help a
try, even though I was a little skeptical at first.
And let me say, it was so different.
I connected with a therapist andsimply talking with her helped
me lower my anxiety in ways I didn't expect.
(01:08):
Sometimes it's just about havingsomeone outside of your family
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What I love most about Better Help is the flexibility.
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(01:29):
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(01:52):
your first month. So give it a try.
Remember, you can't take care ofanyone else in your life until
you take care of yourself. Auto sequence start 54321.
(02:17):
And now I'm with the show. My name is Caroline Winicky and
my happiness is spending time with my son and the people
closest to me. OK.
Hello, Caroline Winicky, how areyou today?
I'm good. Jason, how are you?
Doing well. Thank you.
Thank you so much for jumping ontoo.
(02:38):
I really appreciate you doing the show.
Yeah, thank you so much for having me.
Absolutely. You know, you're pretty amazing.
I've been reading up a little bit on your background and what
you do and you've taken on so many roles, but you've written
none more important than being amom, right?
Yeah, that's my most important and favorite job.
It really things change, don't they, when you become a parent.
(03:01):
Yes, absolutely. So tell me about do you have a
little boy? Little girl.
A little boy, Yeah, He just turned 7.
Oh, that's, that's a great age too.
It's so much fun. Yeah, they start becoming a real
person and you're more hanging out with them versus parenting
them as much. Yeah, it's so amazing too, to
see what they come up with and what kind of questions they.
(03:22):
Have and they know things that you don't know, which is crazy.
Right. Isn't that crazy?
How does that happen? I.
Have no idea, My goodness. So you you've started a company
for a 4C advisory group, right? And you guys advise nonprofits
in something I think is really super important, communication
(03:44):
and relationships. You've even given a Ted X talk
on on that subject, which is really insightful.
I got to see that. I really loved it.
You did a really good job with that.
Why is it so imperative, do you think, to for these nonprofits
to communicate well and to reachout and build these
relationships? Well, so I've been in
(04:06):
philanthropy for almost a decadenow, and I've seen the greatest
impact through word of mouth andthrough relationships.
Even in my own career and own company.
The greatest impact is through building relationships and my
Ted talk specifically highlighted the community's role
in building those relationships.And it highlighted how though a
(04:30):
non profit and a for profit are different, they're still
businesses in a way that they run differently is their
primarily their operational budget.
And then the purpose of a non profit is to support others, not
to make a profit. And so where a lot of that that
money goes, where for profit would usually have, is marketing
(04:51):
and brand awareness. And there's so many nonprofits
in the United States that so many people don't know where
they are, what they're doing. And so it's so important for the
people in the community to share, and not only to those who
can give financially and volunteer their time and their
(05:12):
skills, but for people that needthe resources.
I myself have been in need many times and not knowing where to
go except for someone who who told me about the nonprofits
that existed. It's a great point because I
think even if you're not, if, ifnonprofits are not bringing in
revenue, it still needs to be run like a business, right?
(05:34):
It still needs to have that samestructure.
Do you think a lot of nonprofitsforget that important point or
see themselves in a different light?
Yeah. I mean, there's there's all
different kinds of people that start nonprofits.
And I would say the majority arevery passionate individuals that
see a problem and want to make agenuine impact and change that
(05:57):
that issue. And so to have the most impact,
you need to have people making change and people supporting,
whether it's providing services,whether it's providing things to
individuals and then ultimately growing big enough to provide
shelter or classes or vocationaltraining, whatever that is.
(06:17):
It needs to have structure, justlike starting any business has
structure. It needs to have staff just like
any business has staff. And it needs to run.
And the bigger it gets, the moreoperational cost it has, like
needing HR and needing staffing and depending on the type of
work that they're doing, workingwith like HIPAA violations and
they, they're now you bring lawyers in.
And so it's not just as simple as, oh, I'm passing out
(06:41):
sandwiches on the side of the road or to this homeless people.
It really is standard of care toindividuals.
And then the difference in breakdown between a for profit
and nonprofit is simply what thepurpose of the mission is.
It's not to make profit, it's tohelp others.
And that goes along too, I think, with with having their
(07:02):
voice really ideally put out. Do you think that a lot of
nonprofits struggle with trying to find and express that voice
and have their clear mission? Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, if you think about it generally one individual starts
a nonprofit organization and gets their 5O1C3 and cultivates
a board and get some advice and starts out their mission.
(07:24):
So this one individual now has to figure out how to build the
business, have a business strategy, figure out what their
mission is, how they can accomplish their mission well,
how they can bring in funds, whether that's through grants or
through corporate funding or through individuals, and then
build relationships in the community to get the word out
about what they're doing. So they have to be an expert in
(07:45):
marketing and, and building the business and all of these
different things and generates people that have, you know,
people that are starting nonprofit aren't doing it to
make money. They're doing it to make a
difference. And so needing all of those,
those different skills is challenging, especially in the
beginning. And so you need funds to bring
(08:05):
in professionals that can help you, just like any individual
business owner needs. And how should I guess
nonprofits if they are struggling with this?
What's the best way they can canget help or help themselves?
Should they utilize things like LinkedIn and build their
relationships that way? Should they just do more
outreach and boots on the groundtype thing?
(08:26):
I mean it is all about relationships right?
And connection. Like, think about a lot of the
businesses that have like a business development department.
Like that whole department is just going out there and
building relationships to ultimately get business right.
And nonprofits have to do the same thing.
For fundraising, you're buildingrelationships for that
individual donation. For that annual fund, you're
(08:48):
building relationships with individuals to get a donation to
get them to come back to. And you can do that all
different ways. You can have an event, you can
reach out through LinkedIn, but it's still that relationship
management, this ambiguous pieceof reaching out and continuing
to bring people in and then havethem reach out to their networks
and and engaging a very busy community with their own lives.
(09:13):
So that's where, yes, it's a lotof the nonprofit's
responsibility, obviously, but then that's where we play a role
in the community to do that, that extra leap and that extra
work to bring our networks into the nonprofits that we know
about and really focus on philanthropy, especially younger
generations and what that looks like and what $10 can do.
(09:36):
Because we don't often think, you know, oh, my $10 isn't going
to do much. And I'm not at the place
financially to give $1000 to a nonprofit.
So I just, I just can't be philanthropic.
But $10 from 100 people makes a huge impact.
So all doing our part in whatever way we can, whether
it's our time, tone or treasure or our network and and sharing
(09:57):
out. So true.
And I think, you know, we work alot in video production with
nonprofits and then in corporateentities as well.
But I feel like that nonprofits that you need to utilize things
like that, like social media video, because I think that
video especially, it just tells like a great story and can
really put a face on what you'retrying to do.
(10:18):
So I think they have to kind of think outside the box a little
bit. And maybe traditionally that's
not how nonprofits were done in the past.
But I think with with technologyand new ways to get out there,
it goes back to that whole business idea.
There's so many ways to market yourself now, especially with
social media, right? Yeah, absolutely, which is also
(10:39):
very challenging because I thinkwe're inundated with a lot of
different campaigns on social media.
So how do we, how do we make it more fun and bring people in
because no one is going to give just because they heard about
something or not many people arethere going to give because they
have a tie to that cause. Whether it's something with
(11:00):
cancer and they've had a family member go through cancer or it's
someone that they know is volunteering and they have a
'cause or, you know, they get tosee a video of an individual
that's impacted and their, theirheartstrings are pulled and they
feel more engaged and more connected to the mission and the
organization. It really, it takes, it takes a
village to do anything. It takes a village to raise a
(11:21):
child. It takes a village to start a
business. It takes a village to help a
village, you know, So really coming together and and helping
people as we can. That's so true.
What if what what if you are thesingle person who has started a
non profit and maybe you don't have the funding to hire a staff
or you're trying to do it all onyour own?
In that case, would you suggest hitting social media hard and
(11:43):
trying to just spread the word? And I guess there are some
things you can do alone. Yeah.
I mean, obviously the first thing that you need to do when
you start a nonprofit is figure out what your mission is and
create a business plan and then get a board together.
The beauty of of board being a requirement for A5O1C3
organization is you're required to have this network of
advocates to 1 advise, but to bring in their network and your
(12:09):
board should all be giving financially and be investing as
well as you. So that's kind of where you
start and then you branch out from there.
It's hard, I guess, any way you look at it, if you have a lot of
people or you don't, it's like you said, there's so many voices
out there that's very crowded inthe marketplace and in the
nonprofit world. So, but it's just like anything,
(12:32):
you have to just keep at it. I think consistency is, is key
and never, never, never trying, never quitting, you know, always
keep finding a way to go through.
Wow, switching gears just a little bit.
I mean, you wrote your book, which is a fascinating title
Finding you. I love that that title, you
described it as one of the most difficult things you've ever
(12:53):
done. It's because it is a lot of, I
think self-expression and thingsyou've been through is what does
that book mean to you? Yeah, I mean, definitely
changing hats a bit because a lot of people when I told them
I'd written a book, my my brand and the community is definitely
non profit focused. And so they thought that it was
a non fiction, non profit work focused book.
And it's not it is it is a fictional story, but based off
(13:16):
experiences I've had in my own life and I never planned on
writing a book. I used writing as a form of
therapy for me after experiencing something dramatic
and as I I had these words finally written out, I was able
to share with really close people in my life finally what
was going on with me and it I noticed it helping people.
(13:38):
So I kind of formed it into thisbook and in this story and I
changed. I made the main character
someone different so people could put their stories into her
and really relate with her. It was very hard because I
didn't hold back in terms of theauthenticity in the raw pieces
(14:01):
of healing after trauma of continuing to live.
Because it isn't just that something traumatic happens and
it hurts and it's hard, but you also have to like, wake up the
next day and still go to work and still be a friend and still
be a parent. And things pop up and you can't
sleep and you can't go to certain places because trauma
(14:25):
has no logic to it. And healing is a long and slow
process. But I wanted this book to kind
of be 1A place where people could relate to the really hard
parts, the parts that we don't often want to admit out loud
that we're thinking, that we're going through, that we're
feeling, but also be a cry that no matter what happens, speaking
(14:48):
up and sharing what's going on with you is, is empowering and
is strength and suffering in silence is not is not something
that we have to do. Wow.
I know that the theme of the book is, is about having
resilience through those tough times and really trying to
(15:09):
really kind of loving yourself through those times, right?
Do you do you feel comfortable talking about where that came
from in your own life? What stories you came that came
about? Yeah, I think the hardest part
for me, and it's why I named thebook Finding You, was because I
saw myself really breakdown and change so drastically after this
(15:32):
happened. And that was the part that I
couldn't get past the most that I had the most struggle with.
I wanted to be my old self againand be who I was before this
happened and I couldn't. And I was, I had a lot of guilt
and shame and was frustrated at myself that I wasn't just
better. And I think that the resilience
(15:57):
piece comes in finding this new version of yourself, right?
Finding parts of you that you used to be and finding parts of
you that you didn't know you could become and finding the joy
and beauty in that. We are often always made-up of
the things that have happened tous, but I think it's what we
make out of it that really builds us to who we are today.
(16:18):
And going through hard things doesn't mean that we're we are
broken. It means that we have
experienced something hard and changed because of it, and we're
molded and fixed because of it. And if you've seen the cover of
my book, there's puzzle pieces in it because I think as we grow
and change, the pieces that we need change as well.
(16:42):
So really finding what fits in who we are and voicing that and
not being OK and it not being taboo to be going through
something hard. Yeah, there's a stigma in there,
right? I mean, people, there's some way
we as humans feel like we're going to come across being weak
if we share what we've been through or what we're going
through. And it's it's so I don't want
(17:05):
to, I don't want to go so far asto say suffering is good.
But you know what I mean? Suffering is a way where you do
come in on the other end and youlook back and you, you have
definitely learned things. And you, I think, are a stronger
person when you've gone through something traumatic like that.
Yeah, I am. And I've, I've changed a lot in
the past few years, definitely since I started writing the
(17:27):
book. If you talked to me a little
over a year ago, I would have said that I would never admit to
ever going through anything hard.
I think that suffering in silence was the biggest strength
I had. I thought that talking about it
or admitting that anything had happened to me, whether it was
that traumatic event or anythingelse in my life, was shown as
weakness. And I absolutely have broken
(17:50):
through that and found strength in speaking, not only in
speaking through my book and speaking out about what is
happened to me, but also other experiences that I had.
I think in my Ted talk, I talkedabout my experience being
homeless and needing the help ofnonprofits.
And as someone that works in this industry and helps
(18:11):
nonprofits now, like that was sotaboo for me to ever admit.
And that it was just this thing that I hoped that no one would
find out. And since speaking about it,
it's been this thing that peopleare now connecting with me on,
and it's actually helped people relate to me and see me as human
because we're all human. This facade of perfection
(18:32):
doesn't exist. It just separates us from each
other. Yeah, so true.
It does. I mean, I feel like, do you
think social media has helped toget stories out or do you think
it's hurt in a way where if you put anything out there, people
are going to jump on you and andlabel you They're you're weak or
you're you. What have you gone through?
I mean, it, this is, I just feellike, I don't know, I feel like
(18:54):
social medias maybe a necessary evil.
I don't know if you've got a nonprofit or a business, you
kind of have to use it. But man, there's so much junk
out there. Yeah.
No, and I social media is something new for me that I've
been dipping my toes into and itterrifies me.
Full transparency, I love the idea of the only things that
(19:15):
people know about me or what I tell them, and I know who knows
what, and I love that. I love that sense of control,
right? And I also think that it can be
detrimental to a sense, right, that where we've seen that evil,
where we've seen comparing to each other and not being
authentic and trying to put out this front of perfection.
(19:36):
So you want to be like me because I have everything
together and I'm doing so well. And that's the part where it can
be really detrimental to mental health.
But the parts of it that are beautiful, that have connected
us so deeply and so drastically,like my story, can only go so
far to the people around me, where podcasts and Tik Toks and
(19:59):
Instagram can reach hundreds of thousands of people.
And they can know about me and be impacted by my life and my
story. And we can be more relatable the
more authentic that we are. I think it's scary to be
authentic. And I think the Internet is a
place where nothing goes away. And we have to be really
thoughtful and intentional on what we put on the Internet.
(20:20):
But I do think that it's a placewhere we can feel safe if we do
it correctly. I think authenticity is so
important. I, I've built our company on
that and trying to find the realcore of everyone that, you know,
we interact with and we do it for telling their story.
If we're doing a podcast, I really try to be as authentic as
we can because I feel like in this world today, there's so
(20:44):
much that's not and social media, we all know it's, it's
everybody's best life. If you like that term, it's no
one puts anything on there. Usually that's like, oh, look, I
had a horrible day today. You know, it's just.
But you mentioned and I heard itin the Ted Talk about you being
homeless at times. Was that one of the most
(21:05):
difficult things from your past that helped in the writing of
the book? Did you kind of focus back on
that and pull from that time in your life?
I radically know not on this book.
I am writing another one. I'm I'm definitely pulling from
that that part of my life. I think that that section of my
life was really just about survival mode.
(21:27):
It was I was 1718, so still really young and definitely
didn't the first time that I ever experienced A trauma and
talked about it. Pretty short after was this past
experience and what I wrote my book about.
So my experience with homelessness.
I was very much, most people didn't know that I was homeless.
(21:51):
I would go to school, I would goto work.
If I didn't have a couch to crash on, then I would walk
really far and take the long ways that I would get to school
on time to be able to shower before class.
And it's interesting the things that you bring from those
experiences. Like even today, walking is my
coping mechanism. If I'm going through anything or
(22:12):
it's hard, I go for a walk. Not like a short walk, like a 15
mile walk. And it, it helps me.
And so definitely I, I would saythat period in my life was more
the suffering and silence and more just putting my head down
and getting through it. And everyday just, it wasn't
(22:34):
about thinking about what was going on with me.
It was about just doing the nextthing to survive that day.
I think mental health, that's one thing about it.
It's like we were speaking aboutwith a stigma.
It's like you don't and I and I just keeps popping back in my
head. There's, you know, with with
dogs or with animals. They don't ever want to show the
(22:54):
pack that they're hurting or that there's something wrong.
So it's like, I think we have some of that mentality,
especially the world can be a mean place at times.
It's, it's hard to find people who are going to really get you
and understand what you're goingthrough.
Sometimes it can come across as weakness.
I you know, if you had told people at that time that you
(23:16):
were homeless, I mean, it could have affected a job you're
trying to get or, you know, you just never know.
And that's a sad, that's a sad thing, But it's, it's difficult.
It's difficult to get that courage to share your life with
someone that you did you feel like you can trust and really,
really lay it all on the table. So I think I think one lesson
people from reading your book and need to take is that there
(23:38):
are there is help out there. And I think people there are
good people, there are good organizations to help you and we
need to get away from that fast food, social media type thinking
where it's a highlight reel, Youknow, there are real people out
there doing some some incrediblework.
Yeah, I am. It's interesting thinking about
mental health and going through challenging things.
(23:59):
Like there's a difference between this elongated period of
hard and like a isolated heart event.
Your brain really protects you to survive something hard.
So if it's long, you kind of just are.
At least for me, it was more survival mode.
There was no post traumatic anything because because I was
in the traumatic. But once you live in this world
(24:20):
of this post traumatic stress and you have panic attacks and
you are safe and logically thereis nothing going wrong, but your
body still is trying to protect you from this thing that you
experienced once before it. It's hard because it is so
illogical. Like how like I know that in my
home I can go fall asleep and I am safe, but my body does not
(24:44):
feel safe at home going to bed. So then what do I do?
And I think in the book it helped, especially because this
is this was my own experience. I had people that helped me that
I never expected. So it wasn't just opening up to
the people closest to me. It was when I opened up to
people. Some of them opening up is
(25:06):
really hard and sharing is really hard.
And I want to emphasize that because it absolutely did put me
through the wringer. Growing and healing is not an
easy thing at any point. But there were some people that,
you know, their reactions were shocking in negative ways.
And there were some people theirreactions were shocking in ways
I never expected them to be as much of A support as they were.
(25:30):
And I really highlighted that inthe book.
There was a there was someone that the main character met post
the traumatic event that she ended up really forming a
connection with. And it was outside of the people
that she had known prior to the family that she created, to the
friends that she had. And so I think help comes when
(25:51):
you open up in ways that you never expect and you never see
coming, just like forming relationships with anybody in
any field, whether it's philanthropy or individual, any
relationship that you get, you never know what is going to come
out of it. But authenticity is the only
thing that's going to bring us closer together.
And and being vulnerable, which is so hard because being
(26:11):
vulnerable is so scary, but it really, it's a, it's true.
It is, it is really scary, yeah.But I think there is great
strength and vulnerability because I feel like not a lot of
people do it. And it kind of sets you out.
And if it's almost like if you, if someone's going to be that
vulnerable and put it all on thetable and tell what's going on,
you know, it's, it's, I think that that attracts people into
(26:33):
your corner. I mean, that's, it's, it's a
good thing once you get past that scary feeling of actually
doing it and telling somebody. But you know, we have, we have
to trust people. I think there's, we're all very
cautious. I think in, in this day and
time, there's a lot to you just don't know if people are going
to take you and you don't know how what people are going to
think. But we have to, we have to trust
(26:55):
some people. So it's, it's a good thing to
kind of tell your story and get it out there.
And a book is a great way to do a Congratulations on that,
because that's not an easy task to write a book.
Thank you. Thank you.
Did did you? I'm sure that cuz writing a book
I'm sure has to feel like givingbirth.
It's like once it's finished, you're like, oh, this is my
baby. You've gotten it out there.
(27:17):
Was it difficult shopping it andgetting it published?
I've always been a very, I don'tthink I just do things kind of
person. So as they were happening, I was
like, holy crap, I, I wrote the book and I was like, you know
what, I have so many of these stories written, let me write an
outline and see if I can like turn this into a book and so on.
(27:37):
All of my 1415 mile walks. That's what I did and I wrote
and it took me about 3 months towrite, which is very quick.
But when I tell you it's pretty much all I did during those
three months. And then I big in networking.
So every time I had a meeting, Hi, do you know a fictional
publisher? How do you know a fictional
publisher? And it didn't take that long for
(28:00):
someone to meet with me. And I already had the book
written. So I spoke with her.
They wanted to publish it. Kind of just went through those
steps, went through those processes and didn't really
think about the fact that peoplewere going to read it.
So when it was finished and whenI held it in my hands, it was
the coolest thing in the entire world.
And I was so excited. And then I started getting texts
(28:21):
and emails and Facebook messagesfrom old clients and old
nonprofit partners and friends and family and people I hadn't
spoken to in years that had readmy book, people that I didn't
know that had read my book. And it was like this super raw,
vulnerable, like my soul was nowin the world.
And I did not think about the fact that people are actually
(28:41):
going to read it. And two things.
It was super awesome because like you said, it takes one
person being vulnerable to bringother people in.
And I feel honored to have gotten the opportunity to hear
other people's stories from sharing my own.
And you know, there were a lot of people that have had a really
(29:02):
hard time reading it because they knew me.
And I absolutely understand that.
So as much as I'm happy that it's in the world and helping
people, I understand everyone that that struggles with it.
Even people that aren't as closeto me anymore still have known
me. They're like, wow, that's I had
no idea. That's tough.
(29:24):
That's the ultimate vulnerability, isn't it?
I mean, writing a book and, and sharing your life with, with
whoever picks it up, You know, that's did you have you heard
from a lot of readers? Have the people, let's say
people that don't know you? Have they really, I can imagine
they've gotten a lot of comfort from it because anytime you, you
read about someone who's gone through something, you have
(29:45):
it's, it's, there's a comfort there.
Yeah, I think that though I've read it hundreds of times.
But even now when I reread it and I kind of think about it in
the perspective of someone new reading it, for someone that
doesn't know me reading it, I read all of those parts where I
was very raw and very honest that are just like, oh, why did
(30:07):
I write that for the world to hear.
And those, those are the parts that people, when they reach out
to me, even if they don't know me, have said, I've thought
that, I've felt that. And I thought that thinking that
was wrong. I thought that that I was, I was
healing incorrectly. I was thinking incorrectly.
And so having this community in a topic where it's very
(30:32):
isolating, I think was is is thecoolest part of it.
Yeah. I mean, I think it has to go
back to with what we were talking about nonprofits.
I think there's something, if you kind of link that together
when people read something that resonates with them and gets
them excited to get involved. I think that's the same kind of
thing with nonprofits. I believe if the messaging is
(30:54):
clear and it's, and it's, you'retrying to tell these stories
through the nonprofit, I think that's the best way to get
people under the tent, You know,and, and want to give want to
help getting involved. I I don't know what it's just a
natural human instinct that we have when we read something or
hear something that someones gone through, we kind of our
heart goes out to them. But if we've gone through it as
(31:16):
well, we have that instant connection, you know?
Yeah, we all crave community like we crave other people and
we crave understanding. We weren't meant to be isolated
and alone, and I think that that's what nonprofits can
bring. I think that's what this book
can bring. I think that's what social media
can bring and all of these different things if we if we use
(31:37):
it correctly. Obviously I think social media
can also be isolating, but no matter what, when we're
authentic, that's when communitycan be built.
Is that something you try to teach nonprofits to to, to be
authentic and to really don't worry about what everybody else
is doing, just be true to yourselves and what you're.
Trying to do absolutely and evenwith conversations with donors
(32:01):
like don't act like you have it all together because we don't
have it all together right whereyour your goal is to help other
people. We're never going to be perfect
in what we're doing right. So like talk about your
struggles as as well as talking about your successes and then in
that people might have solutionsto your struggles because we all
(32:22):
have a different skill set. We all have a different area of
expertise. We were not all ever meant to be
perfect at everything. So coming together to have that
shared end goal is only can onlywork through authenticity.
If you're, oh, everything's perfect, I'm perfect,
everything's great. You're nobody's going to think
that that you need them, you know?
(32:43):
Yeah, you don't need any more money.
You've got, they've got it all together and they've got her to
it, rock'n'roll, and they don't need it.
Did you going back to time when you were homeless, did you have
an organization or someone that reached out to you or what was
that turning point for you? Did you tell someone your story?
Finally become vulnerable or? Yeah, for me, I had some
(33:04):
individual help. That was also a time where I had
just graduated high school and Ihad yet to get my apartment and
I got pregnant with my son. So pregnancy Resource Center was
a place for me that helped me figure out it, it was amazing
because, you know, you think about what pregnancy Resource
Center does and you think, OK, it's just one sided.
(33:25):
They help with pregnancy, right,all things considered there.
But they set me up with a counselor that connected me to
other nonprofits and organizations and advised me on
how to, you know, get my first apartment and advise me on all
these things. I was trying to to figure out
how to teach myself and as a teenager, new adult, whatever
you wanted to call it, it's really hard to teach yourself
(33:46):
everything. It's pretty much impossible.
You're going to learn from your mistakes over and over again.
So to get that advice and to getthose connections was huge.
I something that people aren't talking about enough, I don't
think is that a lot of nonprofits work together and
they, they share with the peoplethey serve to provide and make
sure that if they don't cover what your needs are, you are
(34:07):
referred to another nonprofit that can cover those needs.
So once I got integrated in the nonprofit world, which I really
knew nothing about, it was very easy to get to to learn about
all the other nonprofits around.And I'm guessing you, you did or
didn't have a lot of family support during that time.
(34:28):
And I think that there's a lot of people out there like that
and for whatever reason that they don't have family around
them because people always jump to that.
Well, ask your family for help or you know, it's, it's people
don't always, it's not always a black and white issue.
And if you can't or don't have support like that or can't go to
your family, then you got to have somewhere else.
(34:49):
And that's where that help comesin.
It's so important. Yeah, we've every single person
in this world has gone through hard things.
It's just where they've receivedtheir village, their help
through it. And like you said, not everyone
has a network, not everyone has a family.
I had not yet built my network of right now I have an amazing
network of friends that I consider my family, and I had
(35:10):
not yet built that at the time. So I needed this network of help
elsewhere. And not everyone you know has
their network in their village yet.
And the the beauty of nonprofitsis it's almost like a built in
village to support you until youcan can have that foundation of
your under your feet and start cultivating your own.
(35:31):
Yeah, and family doesn't have tobe blood, right?
You know, it's just, it's, it can be anybody that supports you
and loves you. So I think people need to
realize that that if you don't have or can't go to your family,
you can also find a group of people that surround you that
support you and care about you and would do anything for you.
So if anyone's watching or listening to this that thinks
(35:54):
they can't get any help because of that, you can.
There are, there are people out there who will love you and, and
organizations that just there's,I mean, I'm sure you've met
them. There's some great people in
organizations that that's all they want to do is is help
people. Yeah, it's hard when you're in
survival mode to cultivate and build relationships form that
(36:16):
family. So getting out of survival mode,
I would say it's the first step and then you can can kind of
build your village. And nonprofits are a perfect
place to start with that, whether you're homeless and need
to figure out how to find a place to to sleep or how to get
food. I learned a lot about how
(36:37):
government help could have helped me at the time, which I
didn't know that Medicaid existed and that WIC existed and
food stamps existed. I had no idea.
And then I got to the point where I didn't need them.
So really there is the system inplace.
And once I was out of survival mode, then it was OK.
Now, how can I turn this into being able to thrive in my
career, in my life and raising my family and forming a family
(37:01):
of my own and getting those relationships and creating my
own village and focusing on that?
There's always space for growth,but it's really making sure that
you can get your feet underneathyou first.
Yeah, yeah. You to heal, you really have to
stop the bleeding first, right? Exactly.
Yeah. Wow, Caroline, you're a very
inspirational and amazing person.
(37:22):
Thank you. I I just can't thank you enough
for spending time with me. Your story's great.
The book, everything you're doing, just keep it up because
you're doing some great things. Thank you so much, Jason.
And where can people, if they want to get in touch with you or
learn more about the nonprofit, where, where can people find you
online? Yeah, so Caroline winicky.com is
where I have my book and then myTed Talk and all the other
(37:46):
podcasts and places I've been speaking.
And then and if you want me to speak, I can connect with me on
there. Foresee advisorygroup.com is
anything nonprofit related in myconsulting company there.
And then my social media is Caroline Winicky 11 for
Everything. Or Caroline Winicky writes.
Perfect. And do you, does the nonprofit
(38:07):
work, I mean the the advisory company work with nonprofits all
over or just in a certain area? OK.
Right. And the book is wherever you
shop for books. Is it?
You can find it anywhere. It's on Amazon as well as on my
website. Physical copies on my website.
The you can download it to your Kindle on Amazon and then the
(38:28):
audio book is in the works as well.
Great. Good job.
And you've got another one that's you said it's coming
along. Yes, I learned that writing is
like my favorite thing in the entire world.
So yeah, can't stop. That's great.
All right, my friend. Well, take care and thank you so
much. Please come back when you have
some time and we'll we'll talk about all this stuff some more
(38:48):
and see what else you're up to. I would.
Love that. Thank you so much, Jason.
Happiness, Sold Separately, is created and hosted by Jason
Hensley and is produced by Makash Films.
Narration by Lauren Gobis If youor someone you know is in crisis
and needs immediate help, call the National Mental Health
(39:09):
Hotline at 866-903-3787. We would be honored if you would
rate, share and subscribe. Bye.
That's a good one.
Coming up, we crave other peopleand we crave understanding.
We weren't meant to be isolated and alone.
And I think that that's what nonprofits can bring.
I think that's what this book can bring.
I think that's what social mediacan bring and all these
different things if we if we useit correctly.
Obviously, I think of social media can also be isolating.
(00:24):
But no matter what, when we're authentic, that's when community
can be built. This episode is sponsored by
Better Help. A couple years ago, I went
through one of the toughest health episodes of my life.
I found myself in a really, really dark place and honestly,
it felt like the world was caving in all around me.
I didn't know where to turn or what to do.
(00:45):
I knew I needed something, but it just seemed like nothing was
working. And therapy, Well, therapy
didn't work for me in the past. But then, with the encouragement
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And let me say, it was so different.
I connected with a therapist andsimply talking with her helped
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What I love most about Better Help is the flexibility.
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(01:52):
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Remember, you can't take care ofanyone else in your life until
you take care of yourself. Auto sequence start 54321.
(02:17):
And now I'm with the show. My name is Caroline Winicky and
my happiness is spending time with my son and the people
closest to me. OK.
Hello, Caroline Winicky, how areyou today?
I'm good. Jason, how are you?
Doing well. Thank you.
Thank you so much for jumping ontoo.
(02:38):
I really appreciate you doing the show.
Yeah, thank you so much for having me.
Absolutely. You know, you're pretty amazing.
I've been reading up a little bit on your background and what
you do and you've taken on so many roles, but you've written
none more important than being amom, right?
Yeah, that's my most important and favorite job.
It really things change, don't they, when you become a parent.
(03:01):
Yes, absolutely. So tell me about do you have a
little boy? Little girl.
A little boy, Yeah, He just turned 7.
Oh, that's, that's a great age too.
It's so much fun. Yeah, they start becoming a real
person and you're more hanging out with them versus parenting
them as much. Yeah, it's so amazing too, to
see what they come up with and what kind of questions they.
(03:22):
Have and they know things that you don't know, which is crazy.
Right. Isn't that crazy?
How does that happen? I.
Have no idea, My goodness. So you you've started a company
for a 4C advisory group, right? And you guys advise nonprofits
in something I think is really super important, communication
(03:44):
and relationships. You've even given a Ted X talk
on on that subject, which is really insightful.
I got to see that. I really loved it.
You did a really good job with that.
Why is it so imperative, do you think, to for these nonprofits
to communicate well and to reachout and build these
relationships? Well, so I've been in
(04:06):
philanthropy for almost a decadenow, and I've seen the greatest
impact through word of mouth andthrough relationships.
Even in my own career and own company.
The greatest impact is through building relationships and my
Ted talk specifically highlighted the community's role
in building those relationships.And it highlighted how though a
(04:30):
non profit and a for profit are different, they're still
businesses in a way that they run differently is their
primarily their operational budget.
And then the purpose of a non profit is to support others, not
to make a profit. And so where a lot of that that
money goes, where for profit would usually have, is marketing
(04:51):
and brand awareness. And there's so many nonprofits
in the United States that so many people don't know where
they are, what they're doing. And so it's so important for the
people in the community to share, and not only to those who
can give financially and volunteer their time and their
(05:12):
skills, but for people that needthe resources.
I myself have been in need many times and not knowing where to
go except for someone who who told me about the nonprofits
that existed. It's a great point because I
think even if you're not, if, ifnonprofits are not bringing in
revenue, it still needs to be run like a business, right?
(05:34):
It still needs to have that samestructure.
Do you think a lot of nonprofitsforget that important point or
see themselves in a different light?
Yeah. I mean, there's there's all
different kinds of people that start nonprofits.
And I would say the majority arevery passionate individuals that
see a problem and want to make agenuine impact and change that
(05:57):
that issue. And so to have the most impact,
you need to have people making change and people supporting,
whether it's providing services,whether it's providing things to
individuals and then ultimately growing big enough to provide
shelter or classes or vocationaltraining, whatever that is.
(06:17):
It needs to have structure, justlike starting any business has
structure. It needs to have staff just like
any business has staff. And it needs to run.
And the bigger it gets, the moreoperational cost it has, like
needing HR and needing staffing and depending on the type of
work that they're doing, workingwith like HIPAA violations and
they, they're now you bring lawyers in.
And so it's not just as simple as, oh, I'm passing out
(06:41):
sandwiches on the side of the road or to this homeless people.
It really is standard of care toindividuals.
And then the difference in breakdown between a for profit
and nonprofit is simply what thepurpose of the mission is.
It's not to make profit, it's tohelp others.
And that goes along too, I think, with with having their
(07:02):
voice really ideally put out. Do you think that a lot of
nonprofits struggle with trying to find and express that voice
and have their clear mission? Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, if you think about it generally one individual starts
a nonprofit organization and gets their 5O1C3 and cultivates
a board and get some advice and starts out their mission.
(07:24):
So this one individual now has to figure out how to build the
business, have a business strategy, figure out what their
mission is, how they can accomplish their mission well,
how they can bring in funds, whether that's through grants or
through corporate funding or through individuals, and then
build relationships in the community to get the word out
about what they're doing. So they have to be an expert in
(07:45):
marketing and, and building the business and all of these
different things and generates people that have, you know,
people that are starting nonprofit aren't doing it to
make money. They're doing it to make a
difference. And so needing all of those,
those different skills is challenging, especially in the
beginning. And so you need funds to bring
(08:05):
in professionals that can help you, just like any individual
business owner needs. And how should I guess
nonprofits if they are struggling with this?
What's the best way they can canget help or help themselves?
Should they utilize things like LinkedIn and build their
relationships that way? Should they just do more
outreach and boots on the groundtype thing?
(08:26):
I mean it is all about relationships right?
And connection. Like, think about a lot of the
businesses that have like a business development department.
Like that whole department is just going out there and
building relationships to ultimately get business right.
And nonprofits have to do the same thing.
For fundraising, you're buildingrelationships for that
individual donation. For that annual fund, you're
(08:48):
building relationships with individuals to get a donation to
get them to come back to. And you can do that all
different ways. You can have an event, you can
reach out through LinkedIn, but it's still that relationship
management, this ambiguous pieceof reaching out and continuing
to bring people in and then havethem reach out to their networks
and and engaging a very busy community with their own lives.
(09:13):
So that's where, yes, it's a lotof the nonprofit's
responsibility, obviously, but then that's where we play a role
in the community to do that, that extra leap and that extra
work to bring our networks into the nonprofits that we know
about and really focus on philanthropy, especially younger
generations and what that looks like and what $10 can do.
(09:36):
Because we don't often think, you know, oh, my $10 isn't going
to do much. And I'm not at the place
financially to give $1000 to a nonprofit.
So I just, I just can't be philanthropic.
But $10 from 100 people makes a huge impact.
So all doing our part in whatever way we can, whether
it's our time, tone or treasure or our network and and sharing
(09:57):
out. So true.
And I think, you know, we work alot in video production with
nonprofits and then in corporateentities as well.
But I feel like that nonprofits that you need to utilize things
like that, like social media video, because I think that
video especially, it just tells like a great story and can
really put a face on what you'retrying to do.
(10:18):
So I think they have to kind of think outside the box a little
bit. And maybe traditionally that's
not how nonprofits were done in the past.
But I think with with technologyand new ways to get out there,
it goes back to that whole business idea.
There's so many ways to market yourself now, especially with
social media, right? Yeah, absolutely, which is also
(10:39):
very challenging because I thinkwe're inundated with a lot of
different campaigns on social media.
So how do we, how do we make it more fun and bring people in
because no one is going to give just because they heard about
something or not many people arethere going to give because they
have a tie to that cause. Whether it's something with
(11:00):
cancer and they've had a family member go through cancer or it's
someone that they know is volunteering and they have a
'cause or, you know, they get tosee a video of an individual
that's impacted and their, theirheartstrings are pulled and they
feel more engaged and more connected to the mission and the
organization. It really, it takes, it takes a
village to do anything. It takes a village to raise a
(11:21):
child. It takes a village to start a
business. It takes a village to help a
village, you know, So really coming together and and helping
people as we can. That's so true.
What if what what if you are thesingle person who has started a
non profit and maybe you don't have the funding to hire a staff
or you're trying to do it all onyour own?
In that case, would you suggest hitting social media hard and
(11:43):
trying to just spread the word? And I guess there are some
things you can do alone. Yeah.
I mean, obviously the first thing that you need to do when
you start a nonprofit is figure out what your mission is and
create a business plan and then get a board together.
The beauty of of board being a requirement for A5O1C3
organization is you're required to have this network of
advocates to 1 advise, but to bring in their network and your
(12:09):
board should all be giving financially and be investing as
well as you. So that's kind of where you
start and then you branch out from there.
It's hard, I guess, any way you look at it, if you have a lot of
people or you don't, it's like you said, there's so many voices
out there that's very crowded inthe marketplace and in the
nonprofit world. So, but it's just like anything,
(12:32):
you have to just keep at it. I think consistency is, is key
and never, never, never trying, never quitting, you know, always
keep finding a way to go through.
Wow, switching gears just a little bit.
I mean, you wrote your book, which is a fascinating title
Finding you. I love that that title, you
described it as one of the most difficult things you've ever
(12:53):
done. It's because it is a lot of, I
think self-expression and thingsyou've been through is what does
that book mean to you? Yeah, I mean, definitely
changing hats a bit because a lot of people when I told them
I'd written a book, my my brand and the community is definitely
non profit focused. And so they thought that it was
a non fiction, non profit work focused book.
And it's not it is it is a fictional story, but based off
(13:16):
experiences I've had in my own life and I never planned on
writing a book. I used writing as a form of
therapy for me after experiencing something dramatic
and as I I had these words finally written out, I was able
to share with really close people in my life finally what
was going on with me and it I noticed it helping people.
(13:38):
So I kind of formed it into thisbook and in this story and I
changed. I made the main character
someone different so people could put their stories into her
and really relate with her. It was very hard because I
didn't hold back in terms of theauthenticity in the raw pieces
(14:01):
of healing after trauma of continuing to live.
Because it isn't just that something traumatic happens and
it hurts and it's hard, but you also have to like, wake up the
next day and still go to work and still be a friend and still
be a parent. And things pop up and you can't
sleep and you can't go to certain places because trauma
(14:25):
has no logic to it. And healing is a long and slow
process. But I wanted this book to kind
of be 1A place where people could relate to the really hard
parts, the parts that we don't often want to admit out loud
that we're thinking, that we're going through, that we're
feeling, but also be a cry that no matter what happens, speaking
(14:48):
up and sharing what's going on with you is, is empowering and
is strength and suffering in silence is not is not something
that we have to do. Wow.
I know that the theme of the book is, is about having
resilience through those tough times and really trying to
(15:09):
really kind of loving yourself through those times, right?
Do you do you feel comfortable talking about where that came
from in your own life? What stories you came that came
about? Yeah, I think the hardest part
for me, and it's why I named thebook Finding You, was because I
saw myself really breakdown and change so drastically after this
(15:32):
happened. And that was the part that I
couldn't get past the most that I had the most struggle with.
I wanted to be my old self againand be who I was before this
happened and I couldn't. And I was, I had a lot of guilt
and shame and was frustrated at myself that I wasn't just
better. And I think that the resilience
(15:57):
piece comes in finding this new version of yourself, right?
Finding parts of you that you used to be and finding parts of
you that you didn't know you could become and finding the joy
and beauty in that. We are often always made-up of
the things that have happened tous, but I think it's what we
make out of it that really builds us to who we are today.
(16:18):
And going through hard things doesn't mean that we're we are
broken. It means that we have
experienced something hard and changed because of it, and we're
molded and fixed because of it. And if you've seen the cover of
my book, there's puzzle pieces in it because I think as we grow
and change, the pieces that we need change as well.
(16:42):
So really finding what fits in who we are and voicing that and
not being OK and it not being taboo to be going through
something hard. Yeah, there's a stigma in there,
right? I mean, people, there's some way
we as humans feel like we're going to come across being weak
if we share what we've been through or what we're going
through. And it's it's so I don't want
(17:05):
to, I don't want to go so far asto say suffering is good.
But you know what I mean? Suffering is a way where you do
come in on the other end and youlook back and you, you have
definitely learned things. And you, I think, are a stronger
person when you've gone through something traumatic like that.
Yeah, I am. And I've, I've changed a lot in
the past few years, definitely since I started writing the
(17:27):
book. If you talked to me a little
over a year ago, I would have said that I would never admit to
ever going through anything hard.
I think that suffering in silence was the biggest strength
I had. I thought that talking about it
or admitting that anything had happened to me, whether it was
that traumatic event or anythingelse in my life, was shown as
weakness. And I absolutely have broken
(17:50):
through that and found strength in speaking, not only in
speaking through my book and speaking out about what is
happened to me, but also other experiences that I had.
I think in my Ted talk, I talkedabout my experience being
homeless and needing the help ofnonprofits.
And as someone that works in this industry and helps
(18:11):
nonprofits now, like that was sotaboo for me to ever admit.
And that it was just this thing that I hoped that no one would
find out. And since speaking about it,
it's been this thing that peopleare now connecting with me on,
and it's actually helped people relate to me and see me as human
because we're all human. This facade of perfection
(18:32):
doesn't exist. It just separates us from each
other. Yeah, so true.
It does. I mean, I feel like, do you
think social media has helped toget stories out or do you think
it's hurt in a way where if you put anything out there, people
are going to jump on you and andlabel you They're you're weak or
you're you. What have you gone through?
I mean, it, this is, I just feellike, I don't know, I feel like
(18:54):
social medias maybe a necessary evil.
I don't know if you've got a nonprofit or a business, you
kind of have to use it. But man, there's so much junk
out there. Yeah.
No, and I social media is something new for me that I've
been dipping my toes into and itterrifies me.
Full transparency, I love the idea of the only things that
(19:15):
people know about me or what I tell them, and I know who knows
what, and I love that. I love that sense of control,
right? And I also think that it can be
detrimental to a sense, right, that where we've seen that evil,
where we've seen comparing to each other and not being
authentic and trying to put out this front of perfection.
(19:36):
So you want to be like me because I have everything
together and I'm doing so well. And that's the part where it can
be really detrimental to mental health.
But the parts of it that are beautiful, that have connected
us so deeply and so drastically,like my story, can only go so
far to the people around me, where podcasts and Tik Toks and
(19:59):
Instagram can reach hundreds of thousands of people.
And they can know about me and be impacted by my life and my
story. And we can be more relatable the
more authentic that we are. I think it's scary to be
authentic. And I think the Internet is a
place where nothing goes away. And we have to be really
thoughtful and intentional on what we put on the Internet.
(20:20):
But I do think that it's a placewhere we can feel safe if we do
it correctly. I think authenticity is so
important. I, I've built our company on
that and trying to find the realcore of everyone that, you know,
we interact with and we do it for telling their story.
If we're doing a podcast, I really try to be as authentic as
we can because I feel like in this world today, there's so
(20:44):
much that's not and social media, we all know it's, it's
everybody's best life. If you like that term, it's no
one puts anything on there. Usually that's like, oh, look, I
had a horrible day today. You know, it's just.
But you mentioned and I heard itin the Ted Talk about you being
homeless at times. Was that one of the most
(21:05):
difficult things from your past that helped in the writing of
the book? Did you kind of focus back on
that and pull from that time in your life?
I radically know not on this book.
I am writing another one. I'm I'm definitely pulling from
that that part of my life. I think that that section of my
life was really just about survival mode.
(21:27):
It was I was 1718, so still really young and definitely
didn't the first time that I ever experienced A trauma and
talked about it. Pretty short after was this past
experience and what I wrote my book about.
So my experience with homelessness.
I was very much, most people didn't know that I was homeless.
(21:51):
I would go to school, I would goto work.
If I didn't have a couch to crash on, then I would walk
really far and take the long ways that I would get to school
on time to be able to shower before class.
And it's interesting the things that you bring from those
experiences. Like even today, walking is my
coping mechanism. If I'm going through anything or
(22:12):
it's hard, I go for a walk. Not like a short walk, like a 15
mile walk. And it, it helps me.
And so definitely I, I would saythat period in my life was more
the suffering and silence and more just putting my head down
and getting through it. And everyday just, it wasn't
(22:34):
about thinking about what was going on with me.
It was about just doing the nextthing to survive that day.
I think mental health, that's one thing about it.
It's like we were speaking aboutwith a stigma.
It's like you don't and I and I just keeps popping back in my
head. There's, you know, with with
dogs or with animals. They don't ever want to show the
(22:54):
pack that they're hurting or that there's something wrong.
So it's like, I think we have some of that mentality,
especially the world can be a mean place at times.
It's, it's hard to find people who are going to really get you
and understand what you're goingthrough.
Sometimes it can come across as weakness.
I you know, if you had told people at that time that you
(23:16):
were homeless, I mean, it could have affected a job you're
trying to get or, you know, you just never know.
And that's a sad, that's a sad thing, But it's, it's difficult.
It's difficult to get that courage to share your life with
someone that you did you feel like you can trust and really,
really lay it all on the table. So I think I think one lesson
people from reading your book and need to take is that there
(23:38):
are there is help out there. And I think people there are
good people, there are good organizations to help you and we
need to get away from that fast food, social media type thinking
where it's a highlight reel, Youknow, there are real people out
there doing some some incrediblework.
Yeah, I am. It's interesting thinking about
mental health and going through challenging things.
(23:59):
Like there's a difference between this elongated period of
hard and like a isolated heart event.
Your brain really protects you to survive something hard.
So if it's long, you kind of just are.
At least for me, it was more survival mode.
There was no post traumatic anything because because I was
in the traumatic. But once you live in this world
(24:20):
of this post traumatic stress and you have panic attacks and
you are safe and logically thereis nothing going wrong, but your
body still is trying to protect you from this thing that you
experienced once before it. It's hard because it is so
illogical. Like how like I know that in my
home I can go fall asleep and I am safe, but my body does not
(24:44):
feel safe at home going to bed. So then what do I do?
And I think in the book it helped, especially because this
is this was my own experience. I had people that helped me that
I never expected. So it wasn't just opening up to
the people closest to me. It was when I opened up to
people. Some of them opening up is
(25:06):
really hard and sharing is really hard.
And I want to emphasize that because it absolutely did put me
through the wringer. Growing and healing is not an
easy thing at any point. But there were some people that,
you know, their reactions were shocking in negative ways.
And there were some people theirreactions were shocking in ways
I never expected them to be as much of A support as they were.
(25:30):
And I really highlighted that inthe book.
There was a there was someone that the main character met post
the traumatic event that she ended up really forming a
connection with. And it was outside of the people
that she had known prior to the family that she created, to the
friends that she had. And so I think help comes when
(25:51):
you open up in ways that you never expect and you never see
coming, just like forming relationships with anybody in
any field, whether it's philanthropy or individual, any
relationship that you get, you never know what is going to come
out of it. But authenticity is the only
thing that's going to bring us closer together.
And and being vulnerable, which is so hard because being
(26:11):
vulnerable is so scary, but it really, it's a, it's true.
It is, it is really scary, yeah.But I think there is great
strength and vulnerability because I feel like not a lot of
people do it. And it kind of sets you out.
And if it's almost like if you, if someone's going to be that
vulnerable and put it all on thetable and tell what's going on,
you know, it's, it's, I think that that attracts people into
(26:33):
your corner. I mean, that's, it's, it's a
good thing once you get past that scary feeling of actually
doing it and telling somebody. But you know, we have, we have
to trust people. I think there's, we're all very
cautious. I think in, in this day and
time, there's a lot to you just don't know if people are going
to take you and you don't know how what people are going to
think. But we have to, we have to trust
(26:55):
some people. So it's, it's a good thing to
kind of tell your story and get it out there.
And a book is a great way to do a Congratulations on that,
because that's not an easy task to write a book.
Thank you. Thank you.
Did did you? I'm sure that cuz writing a book
I'm sure has to feel like givingbirth.
It's like once it's finished, you're like, oh, this is my
baby. You've gotten it out there.
(27:17):
Was it difficult shopping it andgetting it published?
I've always been a very, I don'tthink I just do things kind of
person. So as they were happening, I was
like, holy crap, I, I wrote the book and I was like, you know
what, I have so many of these stories written, let me write an
outline and see if I can like turn this into a book and so on.
(27:37):
All of my 1415 mile walks. That's what I did and I wrote
and it took me about 3 months towrite, which is very quick.
But when I tell you it's pretty much all I did during those
three months. And then I big in networking.
So every time I had a meeting, Hi, do you know a fictional
publisher? How do you know a fictional
publisher? And it didn't take that long for
(28:00):
someone to meet with me. And I already had the book
written. So I spoke with her.
They wanted to publish it. Kind of just went through those
steps, went through those processes and didn't really
think about the fact that peoplewere going to read it.
So when it was finished and whenI held it in my hands, it was
the coolest thing in the entire world.
And I was so excited. And then I started getting texts
(28:21):
and emails and Facebook messagesfrom old clients and old
nonprofit partners and friends and family and people I hadn't
spoken to in years that had readmy book, people that I didn't
know that had read my book. And it was like this super raw,
vulnerable, like my soul was nowin the world.
And I did not think about the fact that people are actually
(28:41):
going to read it. And two things.
It was super awesome because like you said, it takes one
person being vulnerable to bringother people in.
And I feel honored to have gotten the opportunity to hear
other people's stories from sharing my own.
And you know, there were a lot of people that have had a really
(29:02):
hard time reading it because they knew me.
And I absolutely understand that.
So as much as I'm happy that it's in the world and helping
people, I understand everyone that that struggles with it.
Even people that aren't as closeto me anymore still have known
me. They're like, wow, that's I had
no idea. That's tough.
(29:24):
That's the ultimate vulnerability, isn't it?
I mean, writing a book and, and sharing your life with, with
whoever picks it up, You know, that's did you have you heard
from a lot of readers? Have the people, let's say
people that don't know you? Have they really, I can imagine
they've gotten a lot of comfort from it because anytime you, you
read about someone who's gone through something, you have
(29:45):
it's, it's, there's a comfort there.
Yeah, I think that though I've read it hundreds of times.
But even now when I reread it and I kind of think about it in
the perspective of someone new reading it, for someone that
doesn't know me reading it, I read all of those parts where I
was very raw and very honest that are just like, oh, why did
(30:07):
I write that for the world to hear.
And those, those are the parts that people, when they reach out
to me, even if they don't know me, have said, I've thought
that, I've felt that. And I thought that thinking that
was wrong. I thought that that I was, I was
healing incorrectly. I was thinking incorrectly.
And so having this community in a topic where it's very
(30:32):
isolating, I think was is is thecoolest part of it.
Yeah. I mean, I think it has to go
back to with what we were talking about nonprofits.
I think there's something, if you kind of link that together
when people read something that resonates with them and gets
them excited to get involved. I think that's the same kind of
thing with nonprofits. I believe if the messaging is
(30:54):
clear and it's, and it's, you'retrying to tell these stories
through the nonprofit, I think that's the best way to get
people under the tent, You know,and, and want to give want to
help getting involved. I I don't know what it's just a
natural human instinct that we have when we read something or
hear something that someones gone through, we kind of our
heart goes out to them. But if we've gone through it as
(31:16):
well, we have that instant connection, you know?
Yeah, we all crave community like we crave other people and
we crave understanding. We weren't meant to be isolated
and alone, and I think that that's what nonprofits can
bring. I think that's what this book
can bring. I think that's what social media
can bring and all of these different things if we if we use
(31:37):
it correctly. Obviously I think social media
can also be isolating, but no matter what, when we're
authentic, that's when communitycan be built.
Is that something you try to teach nonprofits to to, to be
authentic and to really don't worry about what everybody else
is doing, just be true to yourselves and what you're.
Trying to do absolutely and evenwith conversations with donors
(32:01):
like don't act like you have it all together because we don't
have it all together right whereyour your goal is to help other
people. We're never going to be perfect
in what we're doing right. So like talk about your
struggles as as well as talking about your successes and then in
that people might have solutionsto your struggles because we all
(32:22):
have a different skill set. We all have a different area of
expertise. We were not all ever meant to be
perfect at everything. So coming together to have that
shared end goal is only can onlywork through authenticity.
If you're, oh, everything's perfect, I'm perfect,
everything's great. You're nobody's going to think
that that you need them, you know?
(32:43):
Yeah, you don't need any more money.
You've got, they've got it all together and they've got her to
it, rock'n'roll, and they don't need it.
Did you going back to time when you were homeless, did you have
an organization or someone that reached out to you or what was
that turning point for you? Did you tell someone your story?
Finally become vulnerable or? Yeah, for me, I had some
(33:04):
individual help. That was also a time where I had
just graduated high school and Ihad yet to get my apartment and
I got pregnant with my son. So pregnancy Resource Center was
a place for me that helped me figure out it, it was amazing
because, you know, you think about what pregnancy Resource
Center does and you think, OK, it's just one sided.
(33:25):
They help with pregnancy, right,all things considered there.
But they set me up with a counselor that connected me to
other nonprofits and organizations and advised me on
how to, you know, get my first apartment and advise me on all
these things. I was trying to to figure out
how to teach myself and as a teenager, new adult, whatever
you wanted to call it, it's really hard to teach yourself
(33:46):
everything. It's pretty much impossible.
You're going to learn from your mistakes over and over again.
So to get that advice and to getthose connections was huge.
I something that people aren't talking about enough, I don't
think is that a lot of nonprofits work together and
they, they share with the peoplethey serve to provide and make
sure that if they don't cover what your needs are, you are
(34:07):
referred to another nonprofit that can cover those needs.
So once I got integrated in the nonprofit world, which I really
knew nothing about, it was very easy to get to to learn about
all the other nonprofits around.And I'm guessing you, you did or
didn't have a lot of family support during that time.
(34:28):
And I think that there's a lot of people out there like that
and for whatever reason that they don't have family around
them because people always jump to that.
Well, ask your family for help or you know, it's, it's people
don't always, it's not always a black and white issue.
And if you can't or don't have support like that or can't go to
your family, then you got to have somewhere else.
(34:49):
And that's where that help comesin.
It's so important. Yeah, we've every single person
in this world has gone through hard things.
It's just where they've receivedtheir village, their help
through it. And like you said, not everyone
has a network, not everyone has a family.
I had not yet built my network of right now I have an amazing
network of friends that I consider my family, and I had
(35:10):
not yet built that at the time. So I needed this network of help
elsewhere. And not everyone you know has
their network in their village yet.
And the the beauty of nonprofitsis it's almost like a built in
village to support you until youcan can have that foundation of
your under your feet and start cultivating your own.
(35:31):
Yeah, and family doesn't have tobe blood, right?
You know, it's just, it's, it can be anybody that supports you
and loves you. So I think people need to
realize that that if you don't have or can't go to your family,
you can also find a group of people that surround you that
support you and care about you and would do anything for you.
So if anyone's watching or listening to this that thinks
(35:54):
they can't get any help because of that, you can.
There are, there are people out there who will love you and, and
organizations that just there's,I mean, I'm sure you've met
them. There's some great people in
organizations that that's all they want to do is is help
people. Yeah, it's hard when you're in
survival mode to cultivate and build relationships form that
(36:16):
family. So getting out of survival mode,
I would say it's the first step and then you can can kind of
build your village. And nonprofits are a perfect
place to start with that, whether you're homeless and need
to figure out how to find a place to to sleep or how to get
food. I learned a lot about how
(36:37):
government help could have helped me at the time, which I
didn't know that Medicaid existed and that WIC existed and
food stamps existed. I had no idea.
And then I got to the point where I didn't need them.
So really there is the system inplace.
And once I was out of survival mode, then it was OK.
Now, how can I turn this into being able to thrive in my
career, in my life and raising my family and forming a family
(37:01):
of my own and getting those relationships and creating my
own village and focusing on that?
There's always space for growth,but it's really making sure that
you can get your feet underneathyou first.
Yeah, yeah. You to heal, you really have to
stop the bleeding first, right? Exactly.
Yeah. Wow, Caroline, you're a very
inspirational and amazing person.
(37:22):
Thank you. I I just can't thank you enough
for spending time with me. Your story's great.
The book, everything you're doing, just keep it up because
you're doing some great things. Thank you so much, Jason.
And where can people, if they want to get in touch with you or
learn more about the nonprofit, where, where can people find you
online? Yeah, so Caroline winicky.com is
where I have my book and then myTed Talk and all the other
(37:46):
podcasts and places I've been speaking.
And then and if you want me to speak, I can connect with me on
there. Foresee advisorygroup.com is
anything nonprofit related in myconsulting company there.
And then my social media is Caroline Winicky 11 for
Everything. Or Caroline Winicky writes.
Perfect. And do you, does the nonprofit
(38:07):
work, I mean the the advisory company work with nonprofits all
over or just in a certain area? OK.
Right. And the book is wherever you
shop for books. Is it?
You can find it anywhere. It's on Amazon as well as on my
website. Physical copies on my website.
The you can download it to your Kindle on Amazon and then the
(38:28):
audio book is in the works as well.
Great. Good job.
And you've got another one that's you said it's coming
along. Yes, I learned that writing is
like my favorite thing in the entire world.
So yeah, can't stop. That's great.
All right, my friend. Well, take care and thank you so
much. Please come back when you have
some time and we'll we'll talk about all this stuff some more
(38:48):
and see what else you're up to. I would.
Love that. Thank you so much, Jason.
Happiness, Sold Separately, is created and hosted by Jason
Hensley and is produced by Makash Films.
Narration by Lauren Gobis If youor someone you know is in crisis
and needs immediate help, call the National Mental Health
(39:09):
Hotline at 866-903-3787. We would be honored if you would
rate, share and subscribe. Bye.
That's a good one.
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