Let’s talk about the raw challenges of stepmom life, the REAL secret to having a perfect body, and the battle with perfectionism.
This week on the Hard Times No More Relationship Podcast, I have my good friend and personal trainer Laisha Ames on the show.
Laisha's not just a personal trainer—she's also a stepmom extraordinaire and a pro at helping women tackle body image issues, perfectionism, and the juggling act of self-care.
Join us as we take a deep dive into the raw challenges of stepmom life, what it really means to have a perfect body, the balance between active stress relief and reflective stillness, and the internal battle with perfectionism.
This is a BIG topic for myself and all women trying to find the balance between caring for others and caring for ourselves, and Laisha is the best personal trainer because of her approach.
She’s real.
She understands that no one has the perfect life or the perfect family. We all have our struggles, and we are all doing the best we can with what we’ve got.
She knows the importance of community—reminding us that we are all on this fitness journey together.
And she has the experience and knowledge to help you reach your fitness goals, even from the comfort of your home!
Her mission is to help people truly feel good about themselves so that they can look in the mirror and love what they see.
In this episode, you’ll hear about:
- Practical tips for handling challenging relationships with bio parents in blended families.
- Actionable steps to kick perfectionism to the curb and embrace your unique journey.
- The secret to loving the skin you are in and the tools that will get you there.
- Why caring for your mental health is far more important than any number on the scale.
- Laisha's game-changing virtual fitness program, designed to fit seamlessly into your busy life.
And so much more!
Don't miss out on this empowering conversation.
Connect with Laisha on Instagram: @Laishafit
Say "Hi!" on Facebook: Laisha Ames
Her website: https://www.laishafit.com
Connect with Mrs. Hard on Instagram: Mrs.Hard_TimesNoMore
Or Facebook: Mrs.Hard
Find free tools and resources at Mrs-Hard.com
Discover how to step off the chaos roller coaster and finally have peace of mind.
Sign up for my free 3-day coaching series—Stepping Off The Chaos Roller Coaster: 3 Simple Steps For Anxiety Relief
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, I'm Alessandra Tolome hard, aka Mrs Hard, and
this is Hard Times no More, apodcast for people who are tired
of struggling with boundaries,people pleasing and relationship
problems.
I have overcome some hard times.
Within three years, I stoppeddrinking, my mom died of cancer
and my house burnt down in aCalifornia wildfire, and those
(00:22):
are just the highlights.
I have a lot of reasons to bemiserable, but I'm not.
The truth is, life was morechallenging before these events
happened.
If you are tired of waiting foryour circumstances to change to
find happiness and peace ofmind, you are in the right place
.
Join me as I share the tools Iuse and love to transform
(00:43):
challenges into assets andinterview others about their
relationship journeys.
Together, let's learn how tohave a happy life full of
healthy, meaningfulrelationships and say goodbye to
hard times for good.
Hey everyone, welcome to thehard times no more relationship
(01:04):
podcast.
I'm Alessandra Tolome hard, akaMrs Hard, your host Today.
I'm absolutely thrilled to havemy good friend and incredible
personal trainer, leisha Ames,joining us on the podcast.
Leisha is the woman behindLeisha Fit.
Her virtual personal trainingbusiness is all about helping
(01:26):
you not just look good but feelamazing inside and out.
With over 20 years ofexperience working with all
fitness levels.
She's revolutionizing the wayyou approach fitness from the
comfort of your very own home.
But there's so much more toLeisha than just fitness.
In today's episode, we're goingbeyond the workouts.
(01:48):
Leisha opens up about thechallenges of navigating life as
a stepmom, finding her place ina blended family and dealing
with control and perfectionismalong the way.
We're diving deep into herheartfelt journey, her struggles
and the valuable life lessonsshe's learned along the way.
(02:09):
So get ready to be inspired aswe jump right into this raw and
powerful conversation.
Thanks for being on the podcasttoday.
I'm really excited for us tochat.
What do you want people to knowabout you?
Speaker 2 (02:26):
What I would love people to know about me is that
my passion is health and fitness.
As a personal trainer, I'vealways felt a client can come to
me and say, okay, leisha, Iwant to get stronger, I want to
lose weight, and I can create aworkout for them to do when
(02:46):
they're with me and then where asession ends, they leave.
But what's most important to meis that I teach them how,
because I want them to know okay, if Leisha's not around, then
walk into a gym or have theirown turn on the mirror, and that
they know what to do on theirown.
(03:07):
It doesn't like I always haveto be around, or I want to teach
them the tools that they needto be active, to be healthy and
to live that type of lifestyle.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
That's awesome.
That's so empowering.
Yeah, thank you.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
I've always been active and I knew from an early
age like sitting at a desk allday or being inside a building
was something I wasn't going todo.
I wasn't really sure what Iwanted to do after high school
and I took a class in juniorcollege and it was a guidance
(03:52):
class.
That class we took tons ofassessments and tests and
questionnaires just to kind ofgear us in a direction, or me as
what things that we'reinterested in, what we're good
at, what we like, what we enjoyand mine was always into the
fitness field.
I was really interested in thescience part behind it.
(04:14):
Just from playing athletics inhigh school and being very
active as a child as I got older, I would see the physiological
changes that my body wouldhappen Getting stronger, being
able to run faster.
The science part behind itactually became really
fascinating to me.
After that guidance class Ilearned that I could do exercise
(04:37):
physiology.
There was an exercise sciencedegree, kinesiology, all along
those lines.
That is my passion.
That's the education choicethat I chose.
Then I went to Sacramento Stateand got a degree in exercise
physiology and I was working asa personal trainer when I was in
(04:59):
college part time.
So graduated, had a degree andI already had a job, so I went
from being a part time trainerright into being a full time
trainer.
That's what I've been doing forthe last 20 plus years.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
That's so amazing.
Yeah, what are some of yourfavorite scientific things that
you know about exercise in thebody that you think most people
don't know?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Well, I think people know this, but maybe we forget
or we don't want to alwaysbelieve.
But the most simplest tool insaying is if you don't use it,
you lose it.
That can be everything stamina,cardiovascular endurance, heart
health, lung health, muscularstrength.
(05:49):
If you decide to just sit in achair all day and not move, then
muscles are going to add toyour body's geography, your
body's going to become stiff,and so, basically, to keep our
bodies healthy and mobile, yougot to get up and move around,
and to keep our bodies strong,you got to incorporate some
(06:09):
strength training, and I know wedo this.
More people are more disciplined, understand and believe in the
benefits than others, and Ithink in our health and fitness
journey, everyone kind of goesthrough cycles.
So in the wintertime Iexperience this too.
I prefer the summer, warmerdays, and so cold weather, rainy
(06:32):
days.
I find that I want to kind ofjust stay inside, not be as
active.
I'm a little bit more tired, soreminding myself that, hey,
leisha, even though it's coldand stuff, you got to get up and
move around, and I'm sure otherpeople experience the same
thing.
It's okay to take a break andto listen to your body, but then
(06:54):
what's most important is to beable to rest, recover and then
just to get right back to it.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Yeah, and so I love how you're talking about that
balance between being kind toyourself and not overdoing.
If your life is really busy andwe've talked about this in the
past Some of us can use exerciseas an escape when our life is
super busy, and I love what yousaid about that.
What have you experienced andwhat have you seen with your
(07:24):
clients in regards to those whouse exercise as an escape?
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Well, as an escape.
I mean, aside from keeping ourbodies physically moving when
we're under stressful situations, there's a mental component
that needs to be addressed to.
So stop and think about, okay,what's really going on?
What are other, healthier waysthat I can deal with this
(07:50):
besides running myself raggedinto the ground?
So maybe incorporating somemeditation, journaling,
listening to podcasts andunderstanding that so many other
people in this world are facingthe same issues and stresses
that you're having, so that wayyou don't feel like you're alone
(08:11):
, and then learning at differentways on how to cope with these
issues and approach it in a morehealthier way, yeah, and what
do you think is a cue for you?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
that you're going and doing too much, and can you
speak to why, as we age, it'simportant to not push ourselves
as much as we did when we wereyounger?
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Yeah.
So learning the candle at bothends will not only affect us
physically, but we can start tosee some problems arise in our
overall health.
By overdoing it or working out,maybe running all the time it's
actually, we're getting theirreverse results.
(08:58):
So maybe you're not losing asmuch weight as you thought you
were going to.
Eating habits might not be asgood.
If you're tend to run yourselflow on getting enough hours of
sleep, your body will start tocrave different foods and a lot
of it's sugar, yeah, and we'rethinking like oh, maybe if I eat
(09:20):
this or that, getting sleep andproper rest is so important to
for any type of fitness goal,whether it's weight loss, weight
muscle gain and even weightmanagement.
I think a lot of us tend to putsleep.
We know we're getting enoughsleep.
(09:41):
Well, oh, maybe you knowgetting to bed late or I could
function off of five hours andnot doing that consistently,
over time you'll tend to gotowards foods that are not as
nourishing and then also notstaying hydrated.
So even when you're dehydrated,you might get a headache or
(10:05):
even have cravings or feelhungry all the time, and
actually your body is thirsty.
And so just knowing those twothings and kind of sitting back
and thinking okay, wait, I justate, like an hour ago.
What type of foods did I eat?
The more complex carbohydrates,like sweet potatoes and even
(10:27):
potatoes, maybe some beans.
Foods that are more nourishing,vegetables, some healthy fruits
.
And not going for the processprepackaged, frozen, easy, you
know TV, frozen TV dinners.
Or driving through that drivethrough for the fast food
(10:48):
because it's easy, convenient,you're tired and you've ran out
of time.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Yeah, and our body's like looking for that dopamine
hit.
And it's ironic becausemeditation can create a dopamine
hit in your body and so canexercise, and so, like, if a
person is like feelingoverwhelmed, tired and stuck,
maybe they might actually needto move their body to get
(11:15):
dopamine and get those goodendorphins going.
But then if they're in fight orflight and maybe better to do
meditation or something morecalming or like watch a cute cat
video on YouTube or somethinglike that to replace the fast
food, because our brain istelling us, oh, I you know.
Or our brain is telling you, oh, I really want a quick hit
(11:37):
right now from like sugar orfast food or something like that
.
But there's alternatives thatyou can do.
But it's knowing yourself andlike what your pattern is in
life, like are you an overdoeror are you kind of stuck in the
mud in this season of life rightnow?
Yeah, and then I want to segueinto what we talked about the
(12:01):
other day, if you want to share,about being a stepmom.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Okay.
So kind of going back to thequestion, you know what I want
people to know about me and whoI am more than just a fitness
instructor.
I'm a wife, I'm a stepmom, I'ma dogmom.
You know I have faced thechallenges of walking into a
(12:26):
family guy who had two kidstrying to find my place, and you
know they had their own routine.
But being a positive as I'vebeen, like a positive influence
with my clients and teachingthem to be healthy and active
and, you know, eat healthy justbeing that influence and role
(12:46):
model for my husband and evenfor my stepdaughters I mean they
were young, they were five andeight when I came into their
life and just always beingactive.
They know, you know my stepmomis a personal trainer and she
exercises and got their dadgoing to the gym too and they're
both involved in sports.
(13:06):
And I know a lot of the food inour house has changed through
the years.
They know, don't even ask,leisha will not buy that.
And just having, you know, morefruits, healthier foods in the
pantry, snacks I don't eatgluten and I don't eat dairy and
so just being creative andoffering my two stepdaughters
(13:29):
like, hey, why don't you trythis?
And they know it's cauliflowercrust, you know for like a pizza
or something.
And just being open to tryingnew things or getting them to
drink almond milk Cheddar Joe'smakes these delicious.
It's like a bonbon.
So it's like a vanilla icecream covered in chocolate.
And they're vegan.
(13:50):
And I bought some and I waseating one, and Kennedy are
youngest.
I'm like, hey, do you want oneof these?
And she's like yeah, so Ididn't say anything.
I gave it to her and I'm justeating it and she takes the bite
and I didn't say anything.
I let her take another bite andI'm like what?
(14:10):
Do you think it's pretty good?
Huh?
And she's like, oh my gosh,yeah, I'm all it's vegan.
And she's like what you trickedme?
I'm all.
No, you liked it, you like it.
And she's like, yeah, it's not,it's actually pretty good.
But that's my home life.
And then also with my clientsit's the same thing Teaching
(14:33):
them tools that they need to behealthy, active, working out,
staying consistent.
In my business I, you know,it's like I show up to my
clients or I create the workoutsor make the decisions and stuff
of what I feel is mostappropriate on a professional
standpoint of what my clientsneed to be doing on a weekly
(14:57):
basis and at home, you know,because that tends to be my
personality is like kind ofcontrol the situation.
That's been a challenge too,and so it's just learning
different ways to, instead oftrying to control the situation,
maybe talk about it and to getyou know some other other
(15:18):
people's opinions and you know,hey, this is the issue, how are
we going to work on thistogether, rather than you know
me saying, well, you're notgonna do this and we're gonna do
this instead, and just being,you know, a little bit more
open-minded.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Yeah, how do you manage your own well-being and
like, stay true to yourself insituations where, like, your
stepdaughter's mom doesn't wannado something that like you and
your husband wanna do, or whenthere's that friction?
What do you do when you've comeup against that friction?
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Well so, we have zero relationship, like she she's,
my number's blocked from herphone, it's not on, she doesn't
wanna do something.
It's we kind of just, we keepeverything separate or I let him
deal with it.
(16:15):
I think it's easier.
There's zero interactionbetween her and I and I tried to
have that at the beginning.
But even her being their parent, their mom, alessandra she's
I've talked with you more thanI've ever spoke with her and
it's like I've, you know, kindof raised her two girls from
(16:35):
when they were younger.
I'm I mean, I don't take itpersonal anymore, if anything.
You know they talk aboutsomeone having anger, like
they're drinking poison andexpecting the other person to
die or something like you heardthat saying before yeah, I have
heard that.
Yeah, well, the luck, the goodthing is we have the girls week
(16:58):
on, week off, and so when it'sour week, you know that's when
we're able to plan and do thingstogether as a family, and Then
when she has them, it's just.
You know, whatever goes on overthere Happens, but there's no.
There's no Communication orinteraction going back and forth
(17:18):
.
So, for example, last weekend,when Lola had the dance and they
all got ready at her house andthey had pictures taken.
I wasn't invited to go.
Yeah so that's, that's just kindof how it is.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah, how?
What is something that you feellike other stepmoms would
benefit from, like knowing abouthow you deal with a Stepparent
that doesn't want to engage withyou?
Like, has there been anythingthat you've learned along that
process that has helpedstrengthen you rather than bring
(17:56):
you down?
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Yeah, um is to To know that it's not me, it's them
.
And now I'm, you know, I'm trueto myself, I'm still the kind
fun, talkative, you know,easygoing would give someone the
benefit of the doubt person.
And being a stepmom and dealingwith a snutter step mother, the
(18:25):
parent, telling myself andletting the children know like
I'm not trying to be their momso they, they have a parent and
Associates because the parentsstill in the picture exercise
has helped, if there.
If there's a situation that isUpsetting and it's out of my
(18:47):
control to not take it personaland then also to not like Take
it out on my husband, becausehe's always done a really good
job and always being supportiveand of how I feel about
everything and, I Think,sometimes just kind of taking a
(19:09):
step back, letting him and herWith their children figure out
the situation.
Reading and journaling has beenreally helpful and my mom has
actually bought me a couplebooks on being a stepparent and
Just different.
In in that book it talks, youknow, there's three stories
(19:29):
about other step moms and waysthat they've dealt with, I think
, just being a step parent oreven being a parent in general.
There's gonna be good times,there's gonna be bad times, sad
times and and, and you justkeeping communication open with
your spouse is important, havinga support group, so, like
girlfriends, you Alice on sogood, easy to talk with, and I
(19:57):
think that's that's actuallyvery important is To have your
own you know group, that someoneyou can talk to, even if you
just need to get it out.
But so important is to not keepeverything bottled up inside.
Yeah, you do that for so longand You're probably gonna reach
(20:19):
the point where you can't keepanything in anymore, and so it's
either gonna all come out in away you probably wouldn't have
wanted it to, verbally, or evenphysically, and so With myself,
I've, I'm tend to, I'm the typeof person that tends to hold a
lot of things in and when mybody's reached the limit, as I
(20:41):
usually get sick and my bodywill shut down.
And so it's not just for mebeing physically active and
going, going, going, it's alsointernal emotional stress that
can cause, like I've had, likestress, rashes and and, like you
know, colds, and I think that'sjust my body Reminding me like,
(21:04):
hey, lacey, you got to, youknow, talk, you got to get this
out.
You need to do some things thatare more calming and so
journaling, meditating, gettingoutside in nature, like shifting
my mindset of always replayingwhat's going on in my head and
(21:26):
Learning ways to you know, tostop and, to you know, focus on
something else.
I would say that's kind of beenmy journey here, like the last
year, especially not all thestepdaughters 15.
She's in high school and soit's.
You know, high schools, highschool and teenagers are not the
(21:46):
easiest, and I know I, eventhough they're my stepdaughters,
my mom tells me she's like, ohmy gosh, I wish that you and
your sister were so bad.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
So what goes around comes around so bad.
This is not good, but it soundslike what gives you strength is
like seeking your validationfrom within instead of needing
the situation to go in whatevera person might think is like a
(22:19):
perfect family kind of way, andand to like drop that.
And then it sounds like youhave really good boundaries in
terms of like knowing what'syours and what you can control
and what you can't, and thenfinding the balance between like
moving and Resting, and so thatin listening to your body
because you said that you'revery in tune with your body and
(22:39):
your body it sounds like givesyou signals as to whether it's
time to Move in a healthy way,to like release some stress, or
if it's time to go within and Toinquire about what's bothering
you internally, and so thatyou're not carrying it around.
Because I love writing andjournaling, just like you're
(23:00):
talking about, and I feel likeit can be a great release if you
ask the right questions.
It can help you unload whateverburdens you're carrying or
whatever is not going right inyour life, instead of Just being
like a space to like rant rightor like just be like dear diary
my life sucks, you know andthen rant on about that.
(23:22):
It's like a great space to Like, inquire about, like why do I
feel this way, like why is mymind telling me this?
And then to let it go.
And then I loved how you talkedabout Having support, which is
so important, and that's what Ilove about you and what you're
doing is that you don't justwork with people One-on-one, you
(23:44):
really build community and youdraw community to you and you're
Excited about community.
You're like let's show up anddo the thing you know and like
let's all like work out together, because it's so much more fun
to work out when, like, I'm notthe only one Working out, like
it's I can feel the energy ofother people, like at the
(24:06):
athletic event that we do Once amonth on Sunday mornings.
Like it's the time just fliesby and, yeah, some of the
workout poses are challengingand you just want to get through
them, but you bring that energythat's like welcoming, excited,
professional.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
You blend it all so well, thank you but I, just as
time's gone on and I've workedwith all ages, all fitness
levels, healthy, terminally ill,and it's just like you know
what.
We're all on this health andfitness journey together.
Doesn't matter your age, yourfitness level.
(24:44):
Everyone is going through shit.
Everyone has family issuesspouse, children, stepchildren,
children, stepchildren, you know, have one or two jobs, and so
it's just we're doing the bestthat we can and no one's perfect
(25:05):
.
I mean, I'm far from perfectbut when it's, you know, you
find you build that community.
And I think, as women especially, as you know, we're getting a
little bit older.
So I really noticed this shiftin like my late 30s and then, of
course, you know, early 40s isthat perfection is gone.
(25:26):
So when I was in my 20s, ofcourse I, you know, wanted that
perfect bikini body, actuallydid a couple of bikini
competitions one summer and youknow it was really into
bodybuilding and more of theaesthetic, the outer appearance
part, which was great, I think,for every personal trainer, like
(25:49):
making it on stage and doing afigure show or bikini
competition is kind of like abucket list.
But even when I looked amazing,I still saw things that I
wasn't happy with.
And then, you know, getting alittle bit older.
It's like our what's important.
It shifts, so it's not, youknow, maintaining as that bikini
(26:13):
body the whole time becauserealistically it's not
sustainable.
And then you have otherpriorities, you have families,
you have careers, you have abulldog that has every health
issue and needs to be there withhim all the time, and so it's
just, it's being healthy andworking with clients that are
terminally ill.
It's like they don't.
(26:34):
They don't have, you know,every day they do their best
what they can on that day, inthat moment, because their days
are numbered, and so it's justbeing able to wake up in the
morning and open your eyes andget about a bed and, you know,
(26:54):
being grateful for the day andthe stuff that we have in that
day, because all of that canchange.
And so being strong, beinghealthy, being active, engaging
with others that you know have alike mindset or we're all you
know, aiming to strive for thesame thing.
And if we can show up on aSunday morning at Athleta and
(27:17):
let the kids stay home or thehusbands do everything and make
some time for ourselves, that'sit's important, and I love
providing that opportunity foreveryone.
It's like we all need it.
I need it too.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Yeah, yeah, inside note for when people listen we
have a monthly movement andmeditation workshop at Athleta,
which Laysha and I have beenhaving so much fun doing.
And I love how you talk aboutlike appreciating the little
things where, if we're reallyfocused on our physical
(27:54):
appearance, our aesthetics, likethat doesn't lead to true
fulfillment or true happinessand it's not realistic for most
people to focus that much energyto create the quote, unquote
perfect body and then if you getthere and you don't do any of
the mindset work behind it,you'll be upset, you'll have
(28:14):
body dysmorphia.
You won't be able to see thatyou're beautiful at that time
with all the work you put in,where you could just do the
mindset work and the internalwork and then accept yourself as
beautiful now, and then you'llhave way more time to take care
of the kids, to you know, cookthe meals or be present for the
(28:36):
emergencies that happen whenlife shows up, cause life is
going to keep on happening andif we're focused on the wrong
things, in my experience thoseare like more outlets, like our
mind.
We'll trick our minds intobelieving that that's really the
thing.
You know, if only I lost 10pounds, then I'd be happy, or
like if only I could lift thismuch weight, then I'll be happy,
(28:57):
or if only I can run thismarathon, then I'll be happy.
But it's like our mind tries toput it on external things,
cause it believes that if wehave that control, if this is
something we can actually dosomething about.
You know, this is somethingwhere we can assert control, and
it's a trick.
It's a giant trick and we allexperience it in one way or
(29:18):
another.
And what I've found to be themost healing is when we do the
internal work, which feelsbackwards and feels like there's
resistance there.
And I don't know.
Actually I do know why it isbecause it's like it's hard to
change and our ego, or innercritic, or whatever you want to
call it, doesn't like change.
(29:38):
Because when things are thesame, it feels safer to us on a
subconscious level, even if it'suncomfortable, and so that
internal change really stirsthings up.
It stirs the pot and it's sofunny Like our mind doesn't want
to believe that that's gonna bethe solution, but it is, and
(30:03):
it's a more gentle approach insome ways.
In some ways it's harder.
It's depending on yourexperience with internal change
and your willingness to change.
And yeah, cause, like if youget the thing that you're trying
to create, the perfect whatever.
Sometimes it can be sodisappointing, cause you can
look around and can haveeverything but you could still
(30:24):
feel like crap on the insideversus working on that inside
stuff.
And then you know likeloosening your standards or
having less perfectionism, andthen finding joy in the little
things, like getting to wake upin the morning.
No matter how old we are, we'renot guaranteed tomorrow, and
(30:46):
knowing people who are older atthe end of life can really help
us put that in perspective.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Yeah, you know, kind of touching on the clients that
are older, terminally ill.
It's like you start to look atlife differently and like value,
what things that are moreimportant.
And one thing I talked withsome of my clients, or even just
myself, and is just learning tolove the skin you're in and
(31:17):
it's not, of course, I want, youknow, keep clients to be
healthy.
So if we need to address, youknow, like weight loss or
starting to incorporatehealthier eating habits and more
activity, I'm going to addressthat just, you know, for their
own health benefit.
But it's loving.
(31:39):
You know what's going on on theinside and that, if anything,
that's gonna even project moreon the outside and the way that
you show up.
People are always going toremember how you make them feel
for how you are.
It's true, I was talking to aclient about this yesterday.
(31:59):
She went to a handful offunerals in the last like three
months.
You know, it kind of goes inwaves.
I don't know if you'veexperienced this, if you know
people that pass and but we weretalking about like a funeral
service or when people are goingup and talking about the person
and you know telling storiesand it's a lot about who that
(32:21):
person was, maybe the presencethey had when they walked into a
room, things you remember aboutthem, what they did in the
community.
It's not so much while you knowshoot of what she look like
physically, you know having theperfect body, or, oh my God, you
(32:41):
know her weight always went upand down and it's just not.
We remember how people madethis feel.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
Yeah, yeah, I love that and I love how you carry
that philosophy into yourbusiness, into the mirror,
because, working with the mirrorand you've teamed up with a
startup company, you wanna helppeople, like what they see.
(33:11):
And I love what you saidbecause, yeah, like I don't ever
criticize and I'm not criticalof people when I see them, I
just accept them as who they are.
Or like I'm like, oh hey, thisis this person, you know, I meet
them for the first time orsomething, and it's like, oh
okay, hi, you know, like, tellme about yourself.
It's not like, oh yeah, they'dreally look great if they lost
(33:34):
that extra 10 pounds.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
You know, or if they, you know, maybe pluck their
eyebrows, or you know, justthose are the little.
You remember, yeah, theirpersonality, the conversation
you had.
Or you know, oh, maybe I wannabe friends with this person.
Or you know, maybe I feel likewe have different viewpoints and
(33:56):
yeah, yeah, so.
But you know, having a mirror,of course, when you're working
out, you're seeing me doing theexercise in it, but of course
there's the mirror too, so it'sthere to help you watch your
form as you're doing an exercise.
But then you know you areseeing a reflection of yourself.
(34:19):
So it's teaching clients to,you know, be proud of themselves
for actually getting up,showing up for themselves that
they're doing something to helpand benefit their body.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Yeah, and so that they can feel good and have good
energy and be able to move theway they wanna move or less pain
.
There's so many clients that Isee that have pain from sitting
too much or pain from not movingtheir body, and the mirror
makes it so easy because you canjust pop on for like a 15
minute workout or a 20 minuteworkout.
(34:57):
And I have heard of I haveclients that feel better from
like bursts of movement, likesometimes when we think we need
to commit to a workout routineor get in shape.
We have to do this hugeoverhaul and I love how, like
some of my clients who work withyou talk about how they can
just incorporate it into therest of their day.
(35:17):
Like they have 15 minutes.
They're like, oh, I can pop onthe mirror for like 15 minutes
and then I got my little workoutin.
And it's more about helpingthem be who they wanna be from
the inside out and createcommunity and create connection
with you and take time to takecare of themselves and
(35:39):
ultimately develop a connectionwith themselves too, and then to
like what they see on themirror because they're working
from the inside out and likeincorporating the work that you
offer them into their busy lives.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Yeah, I mean, I've always told every client and
I'll tell you this too, andeveryone else it's like health
and fitness is not easy.
It's not, it's change, it'shabits, it's new patterns,
because if it was, I wouldn'thave a job, I would be out of a
job.
And it doesn't have to be timeconsuming so you don't think of,
(36:18):
oh well, I don't have enoughtime.
That's an excuse.
10 minutes here, 15 minutesthere Usually by the time you're
sitting there on the couch orin a chair thinking about it you
could be done.
Or the time you spend on socialmedia scrolling through your
phone or on Amazon shopping.
(36:38):
It's like you could havealready done like a 10, 15
minute workout and then go aboutyour day.
Exercise gets those happyendorphins going through our
body.
Yeah, I don't know about you,but I mean for myself and
clients have all said the samelike there's.
(36:59):
It's a great feeling to knowyour workouts done, you've moved
, you're awake, you're alive,your body feels amazing and
you've accomplished somethingand you're ready to either go
about your day and or finishyour day and that you've spent
(37:20):
some time for you.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
Yeah, yeah.
And doing that leads to so manybetter choices in life, like
better food choices, because youfeel better and you're taking
care of yourself, like morepatience for others.
Like after I work out, it'slike my stress and anxiety level
comes down and I am able tolook at challenging situations
(37:46):
with a fresh perspective becauseI've had those good, good
endorphins going through.
If I even like go for a walkfor a little bit, it takes my
focus off of the thing.
Or sometimes I processsomething while I'm working out
or while I'm walking and I thinkthe endorphins come in and then
help me see the situation in amore positive way.
(38:08):
Or something about.
Like moving the body whiletrying to process is like really
helpful because it's puttinglike action to those fight or
flight feelings if I feeltrapped.
And, yeah, it just helps usinteract with life from a more
positive place, a more calmplace.
(38:29):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Amal, I'm gonna agree with you 100% that any stress
or conflict like I talked aboutnot keeping things bottled up
inside once we start moving,you'll start your shift, your
focus, and sometimes you know,you might even forget about why
you were all upset.
(38:51):
You know, when you walk, whenyou first started your workout
or walk through the door, andthen it kind of gives you a
better understanding of, okay,well, this is how I'm gonna
approach this issue or problem,or you know, I feel a little bit
better about something and,instead of reacting, being able
to go and to move and to get ourbodies up and moving around,
(39:20):
yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
What do you want people to know about the mirror?
Speaker 2 (39:27):
Well, I partnered with a startup company about a
year and a half ago and I havemy own fitness app.
But I also am on a fitnessmirror and so with the mirror
there's most people are familiarwith the Lulu lemon mirror that
(39:50):
came out during, I think,during COVID I have pre-recorded
workouts and can customize anyworkouts for any age, any
fitness level.
I've created two contents Ihave Leisha fit and I have
Leisha senior fit and theexercise content range ranges
(40:11):
from mobility workouts, balancecourse, daily stretching, cardio
workouts, hiit workouts, upperbody, lower body, arms, first
strength training.
A lot of the workouts willrange anywhere from, you know,
five minutes to 30 minutes.
(40:31):
It's you're working out in thecomfort of your own home.
You don't need that much spaceand the cool part about that is
that it takes away.
You know you save time.
So instead of getting in yourcar, driving across town to
wherever you're you know goingto go work out, you just throw
on your clothes, whether it's inyour home and your garage or if
(40:54):
you have a home gym, you'reright there, go do your workout
and then you're able to you knowjump in the shower and go about
your day.
Like I mentioned, not havingenough time can be an issue for
a lot of people.
And so having that available inthe comfort of your own home
kind of takes that excuse outand, aside from the workouts
(41:20):
that I've created, I cancustomize and send you your own
personal workouts.
You can reach me anytime.
We usually check in like once amonth to see like, hey, how are
you doing, how are yourworkouts going, what's been
going on, what's working, whatneeds to be changed?
And so it's a membership youdon't have to purchase, it's
(41:41):
rented, so you rent the mirror.
If you decide like, hey, thisisn't working out for me, give
me a call and we'll makearrangements for you to have
that mirror, shift that.
But in addition to the mirrormembership, you also have an app
, and so the app that has allthe exercise content that the
mirror provides, in addition tothe nutrition recipes.
(42:05):
Those are all accessible on theapp and fitness articles are
accessible on the app.
That app can go on any phone,any laptop, desktop, and so if
you travel, if you are going tomaybe go watch your grandkids or
, you know, be somewhere for amonth, you can still continue
(42:28):
with your workout routine.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
Yeah, I've used it when traveling and it's been
like super convenient, becauseI'll stay at a hotel that like
doesn't have a very good gym,and then I can just put on one
of your workouts.
And it's so nice because, likethen I also don't have to think
about like, oh, what do I needto do?
And it's just easy.
It's really easy, which I love.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
Yeah, I'm going to be leaving for Mexico here in a
couple of weeks and guess whatI'm going to be doing, when I
know they have?
The resort has a gym and I'mgoing to be doing my workouts.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
Yeah, that's awesome, that's so awesome.
And then, for people who arecurious, like when we teamed up
and partnered up, you asked meto do meditations on the mirror
and so, just like Lulu lemonsmirror, you have guided
meditations by yours truly, mrsHard.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
And I didn't mention the meditation.
So that and Mrs Hard providesone meditation every month and
those meditations are on themirror, they're on the app and
our class that we do together atathletic called movement and
meditation.
We finished that workout upwith a post workout meditation
(43:44):
which I mean I was on toeveryone, including myself,
loves, and that is thatcomponent I feel is just as
important as the movement we doon the mat.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
Yeah, I love that Thank you for saying that and I
love partnering with you.
It's been so much fun because Ilike I'm getting to know you
more and more and like I justlove you the more I get to know
you, and I love working out, Ilove moving my body and I love
the energy you bring.
(44:21):
Like I talked about earlier,I'm just so grateful to be part
of your community because yourcommunity loves you, and that
doesn't just happen to people.
It's a reflection of like whatyou give to others, like I love
talking to you and getting toknow you and like your heart is
so full of wanting to be ofservice, like wanting to help
(44:43):
people in whatever way you can.
You're like one of those yes, Ican be there for you people you
know, one of those people youcould trust.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
Yeah, Thank you, I love that.
So I'm all like I said, youknow back in what, when I was in
junior college and I took thatguidance class and you know I as
, once I started taking thedifferent tests and realized,
okay, it's exercise related,fitness related, exercise,
physiology and I knew back then,out what, like 19 years old, I
(45:16):
knew I found my, my, that's mypassion, and I knew I found my
purpose.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
And it shows, and it shows because anybody I know
who's worked with you has likeglowing reviews and I've never
heard of anyone being injured.
That's worked with you.
You're just like very good atwhat you do and you meet people
where they're at too.
You gently motivate them in away that I think comes across
(45:47):
like clear, kind and just ofservice.
Really, that's like what sticksout in my mind.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
Thank you.
Like I said, it just, it comesnaturally.
So I don't I think what it just, it just like pours out, it
flows.
Speaker 1 (46:08):
Oh, I love that, and so how can people find you if
they want to learn more aboutthe mirror or connect with you?
Speaker 2 (46:18):
You can find me and on my website.
So my website iswwwlayshafitcom.
I'm also on Instagram as LayshaFit and on Facebook Laysha Fit,
virtual training and LayshaAmes.
(46:38):
I have two Facebook pages andemail address, which is on my
website, but you can reach me atLayshafit at Gmailcom.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
Awesome.
Thanks so much for coming onthe show today.
Thank you.
Hi, I'm Alessandra Tolome hard, aka Mrs Hard, and
this is Hard Times no More, apodcast for people who are tired
of struggling with boundaries,people pleasing and relationship
problems.
I have overcome some hard times.
Within three years, I stoppeddrinking, my mom died of cancer
and my house burnt down in aCalifornia wildfire, and those
(00:22):
are just the highlights.
I have a lot of reasons to bemiserable, but I'm not.
The truth is, life was morechallenging before these events
happened.
If you are tired of waiting foryour circumstances to change to
find happiness and peace ofmind, you are in the right place
.
Join me as I share the tools Iuse and love to transform
(00:43):
challenges into assets andinterview others about their
relationship journeys.
Together, let's learn how tohave a happy life full of
healthy, meaningfulrelationships and say goodbye to
hard times for good.
Hey everyone, welcome to thehard times no more relationship
(01:04):
podcast.
I'm Alessandra Tolome hard, akaMrs Hard, your host Today.
I'm absolutely thrilled to havemy good friend and incredible
personal trainer, leisha Ames,joining us on the podcast.
Leisha is the woman behindLeisha Fit.
Her virtual personal trainingbusiness is all about helping
(01:26):
you not just look good but feelamazing inside and out.
With over 20 years ofexperience working with all
fitness levels.
She's revolutionizing the wayyou approach fitness from the
comfort of your very own home.
But there's so much more toLeisha than just fitness.
In today's episode, we're goingbeyond the workouts.
(01:48):
Leisha opens up about thechallenges of navigating life as
a stepmom, finding her place ina blended family and dealing
with control and perfectionismalong the way.
We're diving deep into herheartfelt journey, her struggles
and the valuable life lessonsshe's learned along the way.
(02:09):
So get ready to be inspired aswe jump right into this raw and
powerful conversation.
Thanks for being on the podcasttoday.
I'm really excited for us tochat.
What do you want people to knowabout you?
Speaker 2 (02:26):
What I would love people to know about me is that
my passion is health and fitness.
As a personal trainer, I'vealways felt a client can come to
me and say, okay, leisha, Iwant to get stronger, I want to
lose weight, and I can create aworkout for them to do when
(02:46):
they're with me and then where asession ends, they leave.
But what's most important to meis that I teach them how,
because I want them to know okay, if Leisha's not around, then
walk into a gym or have theirown turn on the mirror, and that
they know what to do on theirown.
(03:07):
It doesn't like I always haveto be around, or I want to teach
them the tools that they needto be active, to be healthy and
to live that type of lifestyle.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
That's awesome.
That's so empowering.
Yeah, thank you.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
I've always been active and I knew from an early
age like sitting at a desk allday or being inside a building
was something I wasn't going todo.
I wasn't really sure what Iwanted to do after high school
and I took a class in juniorcollege and it was a guidance
(03:52):
class.
That class we took tons ofassessments and tests and
questionnaires just to kind ofgear us in a direction, or me as
what things that we'reinterested in, what we're good
at, what we like, what we enjoyand mine was always into the
fitness field.
I was really interested in thescience part behind it.
(04:14):
Just from playing athletics inhigh school and being very
active as a child as I got older, I would see the physiological
changes that my body wouldhappen Getting stronger, being
able to run faster.
The science part behind itactually became really
fascinating to me.
After that guidance class Ilearned that I could do exercise
(04:37):
physiology.
There was an exercise sciencedegree, kinesiology, all along
those lines.
That is my passion.
That's the education choicethat I chose.
Then I went to Sacramento Stateand got a degree in exercise
physiology and I was working asa personal trainer when I was in
(04:59):
college part time.
So graduated, had a degree andI already had a job, so I went
from being a part time trainerright into being a full time
trainer.
That's what I've been doing forthe last 20 plus years.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
That's so amazing.
Yeah, what are some of yourfavorite scientific things that
you know about exercise in thebody that you think most people
don't know?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Well, I think people know this, but maybe we forget
or we don't want to alwaysbelieve.
But the most simplest tool insaying is if you don't use it,
you lose it.
That can be everything stamina,cardiovascular endurance, heart
health, lung health, muscularstrength.
(05:49):
If you decide to just sit in achair all day and not move, then
muscles are going to add toyour body's geography, your
body's going to become stiff,and so, basically, to keep our
bodies healthy and mobile, yougot to get up and move around,
and to keep our bodies strong,you got to incorporate some
(06:09):
strength training, and I know wedo this.
More people are more disciplined, understand and believe in the
benefits than others, and Ithink in our health and fitness
journey, everyone kind of goesthrough cycles.
So in the wintertime Iexperience this too.
I prefer the summer, warmerdays, and so cold weather, rainy
(06:32):
days.
I find that I want to kind ofjust stay inside, not be as
active.
I'm a little bit more tired, soreminding myself that, hey,
leisha, even though it's coldand stuff, you got to get up and
move around, and I'm sure otherpeople experience the same
thing.
It's okay to take a break andto listen to your body, but then
(06:54):
what's most important is to beable to rest, recover and then
just to get right back to it.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Yeah, and so I love how you're talking about that
balance between being kind toyourself and not overdoing.
If your life is really busy andwe've talked about this in the
past Some of us can use exerciseas an escape when our life is
super busy, and I love what yousaid about that.
What have you experienced andwhat have you seen with your
(07:24):
clients in regards to those whouse exercise as an escape?
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Well, as an escape.
I mean, aside from keeping ourbodies physically moving when
we're under stressful situations, there's a mental component
that needs to be addressed to.
So stop and think about, okay,what's really going on?
What are other, healthier waysthat I can deal with this
(07:50):
besides running myself raggedinto the ground?
So maybe incorporating somemeditation, journaling,
listening to podcasts andunderstanding that so many other
people in this world are facingthe same issues and stresses
that you're having, so that wayyou don't feel like you're alone
(08:11):
, and then learning at differentways on how to cope with these
issues and approach it in a morehealthier way, yeah, and what
do you think is a cue for you?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
that you're going and doing too much, and can you
speak to why, as we age, it'simportant to not push ourselves
as much as we did when we wereyounger?
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Yeah.
So learning the candle at bothends will not only affect us
physically, but we can start tosee some problems arise in our
overall health.
By overdoing it or working out,maybe running all the time it's
actually, we're getting theirreverse results.
(08:58):
So maybe you're not losing asmuch weight as you thought you
were going to.
Eating habits might not be asgood.
If you're tend to run yourselflow on getting enough hours of
sleep, your body will start tocrave different foods and a lot
of it's sugar, yeah, and we'rethinking like oh, maybe if I eat
(09:20):
this or that, getting sleep andproper rest is so important to
for any type of fitness goal,whether it's weight loss, weight
muscle gain and even weightmanagement.
I think a lot of us tend to putsleep.
We know we're getting enoughsleep.
(09:41):
Well, oh, maybe you knowgetting to bed late or I could
function off of five hours andnot doing that consistently,
over time you'll tend to gotowards foods that are not as
nourishing and then also notstaying hydrated.
So even when you're dehydrated,you might get a headache or
(10:05):
even have cravings or feelhungry all the time, and
actually your body is thirsty.
And so just knowing those twothings and kind of sitting back
and thinking okay, wait, I justate, like an hour ago.
What type of foods did I eat?
The more complex carbohydrates,like sweet potatoes and even
(10:27):
potatoes, maybe some beans.
Foods that are more nourishing,vegetables, some healthy fruits
.
And not going for the processprepackaged, frozen, easy, you
know TV, frozen TV dinners.
Or driving through that drivethrough for the fast food
(10:48):
because it's easy, convenient,you're tired and you've ran out
of time.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Yeah, and our body's like looking for that dopamine
hit.
And it's ironic becausemeditation can create a dopamine
hit in your body and so canexercise, and so, like, if a
person is like feelingoverwhelmed, tired and stuck,
maybe they might actually needto move their body to get
(11:15):
dopamine and get those goodendorphins going.
But then if they're in fight orflight and maybe better to do
meditation or something morecalming or like watch a cute cat
video on YouTube or somethinglike that to replace the fast
food, because our brain istelling us, oh, I you know.
Or our brain is telling you, oh, I really want a quick hit
(11:37):
right now from like sugar orfast food or something like that
.
But there's alternatives thatyou can do.
But it's knowing yourself andlike what your pattern is in
life, like are you an overdoeror are you kind of stuck in the
mud in this season of life rightnow?
Yeah, and then I want to segueinto what we talked about the
(12:01):
other day, if you want to share,about being a stepmom.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Okay.
So kind of going back to thequestion, you know what I want
people to know about me and whoI am more than just a fitness
instructor.
I'm a wife, I'm a stepmom, I'ma dogmom.
You know I have faced thechallenges of walking into a
(12:26):
family guy who had two kidstrying to find my place, and you
know they had their own routine.
But being a positive as I'vebeen, like a positive influence
with my clients and teachingthem to be healthy and active
and, you know, eat healthy justbeing that influence and role
(12:46):
model for my husband and evenfor my stepdaughters I mean they
were young, they were five andeight when I came into their
life and just always beingactive.
They know, you know my stepmomis a personal trainer and she
exercises and got their dadgoing to the gym too and they're
both involved in sports.
(13:06):
And I know a lot of the food inour house has changed through
the years.
They know, don't even ask,leisha will not buy that.
And just having, you know, morefruits, healthier foods in the
pantry, snacks I don't eatgluten and I don't eat dairy and
so just being creative andoffering my two stepdaughters
(13:29):
like, hey, why don't you trythis?
And they know it's cauliflowercrust, you know for like a pizza
or something.
And just being open to tryingnew things or getting them to
drink almond milk Cheddar Joe'smakes these delicious.
It's like a bonbon.
So it's like a vanilla icecream covered in chocolate.
And they're vegan.
(13:50):
And I bought some and I waseating one, and Kennedy are
youngest.
I'm like, hey, do you want oneof these?
And she's like yeah, so Ididn't say anything.
I gave it to her and I'm justeating it and she takes the bite
and I didn't say anything.
I let her take another bite andI'm like what?
(14:10):
Do you think it's pretty good?
Huh?
And she's like, oh my gosh,yeah, I'm all it's vegan.
And she's like what you trickedme?
I'm all.
No, you liked it, you like it.
And she's like, yeah, it's not,it's actually pretty good.
But that's my home life.
And then also with my clientsit's the same thing Teaching
(14:33):
them tools that they need to behealthy, active, working out,
staying consistent.
In my business I, you know,it's like I show up to my
clients or I create the workoutsor make the decisions and stuff
of what I feel is mostappropriate on a professional
standpoint of what my clientsneed to be doing on a weekly
(14:57):
basis and at home, you know,because that tends to be my
personality is like kind ofcontrol the situation.
That's been a challenge too,and so it's just learning
different ways to, instead oftrying to control the situation,
maybe talk about it and to getyou know some other other
(15:18):
people's opinions and you know,hey, this is the issue, how are
we going to work on thistogether, rather than you know
me saying, well, you're notgonna do this and we're gonna do
this instead, and just being,you know, a little bit more
open-minded.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Yeah, how do you manage your own well-being and
like, stay true to yourself insituations where, like, your
stepdaughter's mom doesn't wannado something that like you and
your husband wanna do, or whenthere's that friction?
What do you do when you've comeup against that friction?
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Well so, we have zero relationship, like she she's,
my number's blocked from herphone, it's not on, she doesn't
wanna do something.
It's we kind of just, we keepeverything separate or I let him
deal with it.
(16:15):
I think it's easier.
There's zero interactionbetween her and I and I tried to
have that at the beginning.
But even her being their parent, their mom, alessandra she's
I've talked with you more thanI've ever spoke with her and
it's like I've, you know, kindof raised her two girls from
(16:35):
when they were younger.
I'm I mean, I don't take itpersonal anymore, if anything.
You know they talk aboutsomeone having anger, like
they're drinking poison andexpecting the other person to
die or something like you heardthat saying before yeah, I have
heard that.
Yeah, well, the luck, the goodthing is we have the girls week
(16:58):
on, week off, and so when it'sour week, you know that's when
we're able to plan and do thingstogether as a family, and Then
when she has them, it's just.
You know, whatever goes on overthere Happens, but there's no.
There's no Communication orinteraction going back and forth
(17:18):
.
So, for example, last weekend,when Lola had the dance and they
all got ready at her house andthey had pictures taken.
I wasn't invited to go.
Yeah so that's, that's just kindof how it is.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah, how?
What is something that you feellike other stepmoms would
benefit from, like knowing abouthow you deal with a Stepparent
that doesn't want to engage withyou?
Like, has there been anythingthat you've learned along that
process that has helpedstrengthen you rather than bring
(17:56):
you down?
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Yeah, um is to To know that it's not me, it's them
.
And now I'm, you know, I'm trueto myself, I'm still the kind
fun, talkative, you know,easygoing would give someone the
benefit of the doubt person.
And being a stepmom and dealingwith a snutter step mother, the
(18:25):
parent, telling myself andletting the children know like
I'm not trying to be their momso they, they have a parent and
Associates because the parentsstill in the picture exercise
has helped, if there.
If there's a situation that isUpsetting and it's out of my
(18:47):
control to not take it personaland then also to not like Take
it out on my husband, becausehe's always done a really good
job and always being supportiveand of how I feel about
everything and, I Think,sometimes just kind of taking a
(19:09):
step back, letting him and herWith their children figure out
the situation.
Reading and journaling has beenreally helpful and my mom has
actually bought me a couplebooks on being a stepparent and
Just different.
In in that book it talks, youknow, there's three stories
(19:29):
about other step moms and waysthat they've dealt with, I think
, just being a step parent oreven being a parent in general.
There's gonna be good times,there's gonna be bad times, sad
times and and, and you justkeeping communication open with
your spouse is important, havinga support group, so, like
girlfriends, you Alice on sogood, easy to talk with, and I
(19:57):
think that's that's actuallyvery important is To have your
own you know group, that someoneyou can talk to, even if you
just need to get it out.
But so important is to not keepeverything bottled up inside.
Yeah, you do that for so longand You're probably gonna reach
(20:19):
the point where you can't keepanything in anymore, and so it's
either gonna all come out in away you probably wouldn't have
wanted it to, verbally, or evenphysically, and so With myself,
I've, I'm tend to, I'm the typeof person that tends to hold a
lot of things in and when mybody's reached the limit, as I
(20:41):
usually get sick and my bodywill shut down.
And so it's not just for mebeing physically active and
going, going, going, it's alsointernal emotional stress that
can cause, like I've had, likestress, rashes and and, like you
know, colds, and I think that'sjust my body Reminding me like,
(21:04):
hey, lacey, you got to, youknow, talk, you got to get this
out.
You need to do some things thatare more calming and so
journaling, meditating, gettingoutside in nature, like shifting
my mindset of always replayingwhat's going on in my head and
(21:26):
Learning ways to you know, tostop and, to you know, focus on
something else.
I would say that's kind of beenmy journey here, like the last
year, especially not all thestepdaughters 15.
She's in high school and soit's.
You know, high schools, highschool and teenagers are not the
(21:46):
easiest, and I know I, eventhough they're my stepdaughters,
my mom tells me she's like, ohmy gosh, I wish that you and
your sister were so bad.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
So what goes around comes around so bad.
This is not good, but it soundslike what gives you strength is
like seeking your validationfrom within instead of needing
the situation to go in whatevera person might think is like a
(22:19):
perfect family kind of way, andand to like drop that.
And then it sounds like youhave really good boundaries in
terms of like knowing what'syours and what you can control
and what you can't, and thenfinding the balance between like
moving and Resting, and so thatin listening to your body
because you said that you'revery in tune with your body and
(22:39):
your body it sounds like givesyou signals as to whether it's
time to Move in a healthy way,to like release some stress, or
if it's time to go within and Toinquire about what's bothering
you internally, and so thatyou're not carrying it around.
Because I love writing andjournaling, just like you're
(23:00):
talking about, and I feel likeit can be a great release if you
ask the right questions.
It can help you unload whateverburdens you're carrying or
whatever is not going right inyour life, instead of Just being
like a space to like rant rightor like just be like dear diary
my life sucks, you know andthen rant on about that.
(23:22):
It's like a great space to Like, inquire about, like why do I
feel this way, like why is mymind telling me this?
And then to let it go.
And then I loved how you talkedabout Having support, which is
so important, and that's what Ilove about you and what you're
doing is that you don't justwork with people One-on-one, you
(23:44):
really build community and youdraw community to you and you're
Excited about community.
You're like let's show up anddo the thing you know and like
let's all like work out together, because it's so much more fun
to work out when, like, I'm notthe only one Working out, like
it's I can feel the energy ofother people, like at the
(24:06):
athletic event that we do Once amonth on Sunday mornings.
Like it's the time just fliesby and, yeah, some of the
workout poses are challengingand you just want to get through
them, but you bring that energythat's like welcoming, excited,
professional.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
You blend it all so well, thank you but I, just as
time's gone on and I've workedwith all ages, all fitness
levels, healthy, terminally ill,and it's just like you know
what.
We're all on this health andfitness journey together.
Doesn't matter your age, yourfitness level.
(24:44):
Everyone is going through shit.
Everyone has family issuesspouse, children, stepchildren,
children, stepchildren, you know, have one or two jobs, and so
it's just we're doing the bestthat we can and no one's perfect
(25:05):
.
I mean, I'm far from perfectbut when it's, you know, you
find you build that community.
And I think, as women especially, as you know, we're getting a
little bit older.
So I really noticed this shiftin like my late 30s and then, of
course, you know, early 40s isthat perfection is gone.
(25:26):
So when I was in my 20s, ofcourse I, you know, wanted that
perfect bikini body, actuallydid a couple of bikini
competitions one summer and youknow it was really into
bodybuilding and more of theaesthetic, the outer appearance
part, which was great, I think,for every personal trainer, like
(25:49):
making it on stage and doing afigure show or bikini
competition is kind of like abucket list.
But even when I looked amazing,I still saw things that I
wasn't happy with.
And then, you know, getting alittle bit older.
It's like our what's important.
It shifts, so it's not, youknow, maintaining as that bikini
(26:13):
body the whole time becauserealistically it's not
sustainable.
And then you have otherpriorities, you have families,
you have careers, you have abulldog that has every health
issue and needs to be there withhim all the time, and so it's
just, it's being healthy andworking with clients that are
terminally ill.
It's like they don't.
(26:34):
They don't have, you know,every day they do their best
what they can on that day, inthat moment, because their days
are numbered, and so it's justbeing able to wake up in the
morning and open your eyes andget about a bed and, you know,
(26:54):
being grateful for the day andthe stuff that we have in that
day, because all of that canchange.
And so being strong, beinghealthy, being active, engaging
with others that you know have alike mindset or we're all you
know, aiming to strive for thesame thing.
And if we can show up on aSunday morning at Athleta and
(27:17):
let the kids stay home or thehusbands do everything and make
some time for ourselves, that'sit's important, and I love
providing that opportunity foreveryone.
It's like we all need it.
I need it too.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Yeah, yeah, inside note for when people listen we
have a monthly movement andmeditation workshop at Athleta,
which Laysha and I have beenhaving so much fun doing.
And I love how you talk aboutlike appreciating the little
things where, if we're reallyfocused on our physical
(27:54):
appearance, our aesthetics, likethat doesn't lead to true
fulfillment or true happinessand it's not realistic for most
people to focus that much energyto create the quote, unquote
perfect body and then if you getthere and you don't do any of
the mindset work behind it,you'll be upset, you'll have
(28:14):
body dysmorphia.
You won't be able to see thatyou're beautiful at that time
with all the work you put in,where you could just do the
mindset work and the internalwork and then accept yourself as
beautiful now, and then you'llhave way more time to take care
of the kids, to you know, cookthe meals or be present for the
(28:36):
emergencies that happen whenlife shows up, cause life is
going to keep on happening andif we're focused on the wrong
things, in my experience thoseare like more outlets, like our
mind.
We'll trick our minds intobelieving that that's really the
thing.
You know, if only I lost 10pounds, then I'd be happy, or
like if only I could lift thismuch weight, then I'll be happy,
(28:57):
or if only I can run thismarathon, then I'll be happy.
But it's like our mind tries toput it on external things,
cause it believes that if wehave that control, if this is
something we can actually dosomething about.
You know, this is somethingwhere we can assert control, and
it's a trick.
It's a giant trick and we allexperience it in one way or
(29:18):
another.
And what I've found to be themost healing is when we do the
internal work, which feelsbackwards and feels like there's
resistance there.
And I don't know.
Actually I do know why it isbecause it's like it's hard to
change and our ego, or innercritic, or whatever you want to
call it, doesn't like change.
(29:38):
Because when things are thesame, it feels safer to us on a
subconscious level, even if it'suncomfortable, and so that
internal change really stirsthings up.
It stirs the pot and it's sofunny Like our mind doesn't want
to believe that that's gonna bethe solution, but it is, and
(30:03):
it's a more gentle approach insome ways.
In some ways it's harder.
It's depending on yourexperience with internal change
and your willingness to change.
And yeah, cause, like if youget the thing that you're trying
to create, the perfect whatever.
Sometimes it can be sodisappointing, cause you can
look around and can haveeverything but you could still
(30:24):
feel like crap on the insideversus working on that inside
stuff.
And then you know likeloosening your standards or
having less perfectionism, andthen finding joy in the little
things, like getting to wake upin the morning.
No matter how old we are, we'renot guaranteed tomorrow, and
(30:46):
knowing people who are older atthe end of life can really help
us put that in perspective.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Yeah, you know, kind of touching on the clients that
are older, terminally ill.
It's like you start to look atlife differently and like value,
what things that are moreimportant.
And one thing I talked withsome of my clients, or even just
myself, and is just learning tolove the skin you're in and
(31:17):
it's not, of course, I want, youknow, keep clients to be
healthy.
So if we need to address, youknow, like weight loss or
starting to incorporatehealthier eating habits and more
activity, I'm going to addressthat just, you know, for their
own health benefit.
But it's loving.
(31:39):
You know what's going on on theinside and that, if anything,
that's gonna even project moreon the outside and the way that
you show up.
People are always going toremember how you make them feel
for how you are.
It's true, I was talking to aclient about this yesterday.
(31:59):
She went to a handful offunerals in the last like three
months.
You know, it kind of goes inwaves.
I don't know if you'veexperienced this, if you know
people that pass and but we weretalking about like a funeral
service or when people are goingup and talking about the person
and you know telling storiesand it's a lot about who that
(32:21):
person was, maybe the presencethey had when they walked into a
room, things you remember aboutthem, what they did in the
community.
It's not so much while you knowshoot of what she look like
physically, you know having theperfect body, or, oh my God, you
(32:41):
know her weight always went upand down and it's just not.
We remember how people madethis feel.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
Yeah, yeah, I love that and I love how you carry
that philosophy into yourbusiness, into the mirror,
because, working with the mirrorand you've teamed up with a
startup company, you wanna helppeople, like what they see.
(33:11):
And I love what you saidbecause, yeah, like I don't ever
criticize and I'm not criticalof people when I see them, I
just accept them as who they are.
Or like I'm like, oh hey, thisis this person, you know, I meet
them for the first time orsomething, and it's like, oh
okay, hi, you know, like, tellme about yourself.
It's not like, oh yeah, they'dreally look great if they lost
(33:34):
that extra 10 pounds.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
You know, or if they, you know, maybe pluck their
eyebrows, or you know, justthose are the little.
You remember, yeah, theirpersonality, the conversation
you had.
Or you know, oh, maybe I wannabe friends with this person.
Or you know, maybe I feel likewe have different viewpoints and
(33:56):
yeah, yeah, so.
But you know, having a mirror,of course, when you're working
out, you're seeing me doing theexercise in it, but of course
there's the mirror too, so it'sthere to help you watch your
form as you're doing an exercise.
But then you know you areseeing a reflection of yourself.
(34:19):
So it's teaching clients to,you know, be proud of themselves
for actually getting up,showing up for themselves that
they're doing something to helpand benefit their body.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Yeah, and so that they can feel good and have good
energy and be able to move theway they wanna move or less pain
.
There's so many clients that Isee that have pain from sitting
too much or pain from not movingtheir body, and the mirror
makes it so easy because you canjust pop on for like a 15
minute workout or a 20 minuteworkout.
(34:57):
And I have heard of I haveclients that feel better from
like bursts of movement, likesometimes when we think we need
to commit to a workout routineor get in shape.
We have to do this hugeoverhaul and I love how, like
some of my clients who work withyou talk about how they can
just incorporate it into therest of their day.
(35:17):
Like they have 15 minutes.
They're like, oh, I can pop onthe mirror for like 15 minutes
and then I got my little workoutin.
And it's more about helpingthem be who they wanna be from
the inside out and createcommunity and create connection
with you and take time to takecare of themselves and
(35:39):
ultimately develop a connectionwith themselves too, and then to
like what they see on themirror because they're working
from the inside out and likeincorporating the work that you
offer them into their busy lives.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Yeah, I mean, I've always told every client and
I'll tell you this too, andeveryone else it's like health
and fitness is not easy.
It's not, it's change, it'shabits, it's new patterns,
because if it was, I wouldn'thave a job, I would be out of a
job.
And it doesn't have to be timeconsuming so you don't think of,
(36:18):
oh well, I don't have enoughtime.
That's an excuse.
10 minutes here, 15 minutesthere Usually by the time you're
sitting there on the couch orin a chair thinking about it you
could be done.
Or the time you spend on socialmedia scrolling through your
phone or on Amazon shopping.
(36:38):
It's like you could havealready done like a 10, 15
minute workout and then go aboutyour day.
Exercise gets those happyendorphins going through our
body.
Yeah, I don't know about you,but I mean for myself and
clients have all said the samelike there's.
(36:59):
It's a great feeling to knowyour workouts done, you've moved
, you're awake, you're alive,your body feels amazing and
you've accomplished somethingand you're ready to either go
about your day and or finishyour day and that you've spent
(37:20):
some time for you.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
Yeah, yeah.
And doing that leads to so manybetter choices in life, like
better food choices, because youfeel better and you're taking
care of yourself, like morepatience for others.
Like after I work out, it'slike my stress and anxiety level
comes down and I am able tolook at challenging situations
(37:46):
with a fresh perspective becauseI've had those good, good
endorphins going through.
If I even like go for a walkfor a little bit, it takes my
focus off of the thing.
Or sometimes I processsomething while I'm working out
or while I'm walking and I thinkthe endorphins come in and then
help me see the situation in amore positive way.
(38:08):
Or something about.
Like moving the body whiletrying to process is like really
helpful because it's puttinglike action to those fight or
flight feelings if I feeltrapped.
And, yeah, it just helps usinteract with life from a more
positive place, a more calmplace.
(38:29):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Amal, I'm gonna agree with you 100% that any stress
or conflict like I talked aboutnot keeping things bottled up
inside once we start moving,you'll start your shift, your
focus, and sometimes you know,you might even forget about why
you were all upset.
(38:51):
You know, when you walk, whenyou first started your workout
or walk through the door, andthen it kind of gives you a
better understanding of, okay,well, this is how I'm gonna
approach this issue or problem,or you know, I feel a little bit
better about something and,instead of reacting, being able
to go and to move and to get ourbodies up and moving around,
(39:20):
yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
What do you want people to know about the mirror?
Speaker 2 (39:27):
Well, I partnered with a startup company about a
year and a half ago and I havemy own fitness app.
But I also am on a fitnessmirror and so with the mirror
there's most people are familiarwith the Lulu lemon mirror that
(39:50):
came out during, I think,during COVID I have pre-recorded
workouts and can customize anyworkouts for any age, any
fitness level.
I've created two contents Ihave Leisha fit and I have
Leisha senior fit and theexercise content range ranges
(40:11):
from mobility workouts, balancecourse, daily stretching, cardio
workouts, hiit workouts, upperbody, lower body, arms, first
strength training.
A lot of the workouts willrange anywhere from, you know,
five minutes to 30 minutes.
(40:31):
It's you're working out in thecomfort of your own home.
You don't need that much spaceand the cool part about that is
that it takes away.
You know you save time.
So instead of getting in yourcar, driving across town to
wherever you're you know goingto go work out, you just throw
on your clothes, whether it's inyour home and your garage or if
(40:54):
you have a home gym, you'reright there, go do your workout
and then you're able to you knowjump in the shower and go about
your day.
Like I mentioned, not havingenough time can be an issue for
a lot of people.
And so having that available inthe comfort of your own home
kind of takes that excuse outand, aside from the workouts
(41:20):
that I've created, I cancustomize and send you your own
personal workouts.
You can reach me anytime.
We usually check in like once amonth to see like, hey, how are
you doing, how are yourworkouts going, what's been
going on, what's working, whatneeds to be changed?
And so it's a membership youdon't have to purchase, it's
(41:41):
rented, so you rent the mirror.
If you decide like, hey, thisisn't working out for me, give
me a call and we'll makearrangements for you to have
that mirror, shift that.
But in addition to the mirrormembership, you also have an app
, and so the app that has allthe exercise content that the
mirror provides, in addition tothe nutrition recipes.
(42:05):
Those are all accessible on theapp and fitness articles are
accessible on the app.
That app can go on any phone,any laptop, desktop, and so if
you travel, if you are going tomaybe go watch your grandkids or
, you know, be somewhere for amonth, you can still continue
(42:28):
with your workout routine.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
Yeah, I've used it when traveling and it's been
like super convenient, becauseI'll stay at a hotel that like
doesn't have a very good gym,and then I can just put on one
of your workouts.
And it's so nice because, likethen I also don't have to think
about like, oh, what do I needto do?
And it's just easy.
It's really easy, which I love.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
Yeah, I'm going to be leaving for Mexico here in a
couple of weeks and guess whatI'm going to be doing, when I
know they have?
The resort has a gym and I'mgoing to be doing my workouts.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
Yeah, that's awesome, that's so awesome.
And then, for people who arecurious, like when we teamed up
and partnered up, you asked meto do meditations on the mirror
and so, just like Lulu lemonsmirror, you have guided
meditations by yours truly, mrsHard.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
And I didn't mention the meditation.
So that and Mrs Hard providesone meditation every month and
those meditations are on themirror, they're on the app and
our class that we do together atathletic called movement and
meditation.
We finished that workout upwith a post workout meditation
(43:44):
which I mean I was on toeveryone, including myself,
loves, and that is thatcomponent I feel is just as
important as the movement we doon the mat.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
Yeah, I love that Thank you for saying that and I
love partnering with you.
It's been so much fun because Ilike I'm getting to know you
more and more and like I justlove you the more I get to know
you, and I love working out, Ilove moving my body and I love
the energy you bring.
(44:21):
Like I talked about earlier,I'm just so grateful to be part
of your community because yourcommunity loves you, and that
doesn't just happen to people.
It's a reflection of like whatyou give to others, like I love
talking to you and getting toknow you and like your heart is
so full of wanting to be ofservice, like wanting to help
(44:43):
people in whatever way you can.
You're like one of those yes, Ican be there for you people you
know, one of those people youcould trust.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
Yeah, Thank you, I love that.
So I'm all like I said, youknow back in what, when I was in
junior college and I took thatguidance class and you know I as
, once I started taking thedifferent tests and realized,
okay, it's exercise related,fitness related, exercise,
physiology and I knew back then,out what, like 19 years old, I
(45:16):
knew I found my, my, that's mypassion, and I knew I found my
purpose.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
And it shows, and it shows because anybody I know
who's worked with you has likeglowing reviews and I've never
heard of anyone being injured.
That's worked with you.
You're just like very good atwhat you do and you meet people
where they're at too.
You gently motivate them in away that I think comes across
(45:47):
like clear, kind and just ofservice.
Really, that's like what sticksout in my mind.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
Thank you.
Like I said, it just, it comesnaturally.
So I don't I think what it just, it just like pours out, it
flows.
Speaker 1 (46:08):
Oh, I love that, and so how can people find you if
they want to learn more aboutthe mirror or connect with you?
Speaker 2 (46:18):
You can find me and on my website.
So my website iswwwlayshafitcom.
I'm also on Instagram as LayshaFit and on Facebook Laysha Fit,
virtual training and LayshaAmes.
(46:38):
I have two Facebook pages andemail address, which is on my
website, but you can reach me atLayshafit at Gmailcom.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
Awesome.
Thanks so much for coming onthe show today.
Thank you.
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