August 23, 2024 • 35 mins
Join Allesanda Tolomei-Hard, a.k.a. Mrs. Hard, as she explores the transformative power of embracing your worthiness and living a life of joy. If you’ve ever struggled with self-worth or found yourself waiting for external circumstances to change before you allow yourself to experience happiness, this episode is for you.
Mrs. Hard shares her personal stories, practical insights, and powerful techniques to help you rewire your brain and cultivate a deep sense of worthiness and joy in your life, regardless of external situations.
Episode Highlights:
>> The Power of Worthiness:
- We’ll discusses the concept of inherent worthiness as a birthright.
- How believing in your worthiness can completely transform your life and relationships.
>> Identifying Limiting Beliefs:
- Explore how subconscious agreements formed during childhood influence your self-worth.
- Mrs. Hard shares personal experiences of how her upbringing and societal expectations shaped her self-worth and how she overcame these limiting beliefs.
>> The Journey to Joy and Worthiness:
- The process of shifting from external validation to internal fulfillment.
- Understanding the "seesaw" analogy: balancing discomfort and fear of change to move toward a more fulfilling life.
- Practical steps to break free from old patterns and embrace joy in everyday life.
>> Rewiring the Brain for Joy:
- Introduction to the Recticular Activating System (RAS) and how it influences focus and perception.
- Techniques for tuning your RAS into joy, gratitude, and worthiness through daily practices.
- The importance of falling in love with the process of personal growth and self-discovery.
>> Upcoming Workshops and Events:
- Announcement of the "How to Be Your Own Best Friend" workshop on Sunday, September 8th, focusing on releasing perfectionism and people-pleasing.
Check out upcoming events at Mrs-Hard.com
- Invitation to the "Movement and Meditation" event on Sunday, August 25th at The Garden Brewery in downtown Napa, featuring a bodyweight workout and guided meditation.
Sign Up HERE!
Key Takeaways:
- Embrace the belief that you are inherently worthy, just as you are.
- Understand the impact of limiting beliefs on your self-worth and learn how to shift them.
- Rewire your brain to focus on joy and worthiness through consistent, daily practices.
- Stop waiting for external circumstances to bring you happiness—start cultivating joy and fulfillment now.
Let’s connect!
-1:1 Stress Relief Coaching Session:
Let’s talk about how I can help you support your specific situation to receive anxiety and create peace in challenging relationships.
Schedule Your Free Session HERE!
Share the Love:
-If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might benefit. Your support helps empower others on their journey to worthiness and joy.
Contact:
-Have questions or want to share your story? Email Mrs. Hard at HardTimesNoMoreCoach@gmail.com
-Follow Mrs. Hard on social media for more insights and updates:
Instagram: Mrs.Hard_TimesNoMore
Discover how to step off the chaos roller coaster and finally have peace of mind.
Sign up for my free 3-day coaching series—Stepping Off The Chaos Roller Coaster: 3 Simple Steps For Anxiety Relief
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, I'm Alessandra Tolome Hard, aka Mrs Hard, and
this is Hard Times no More, apodcast for people who are tired
of struggling with boundaries,people-pleasing and relationship
problems.
I have overcome some hard times.
Within three years, I stoppeddrinking, my mom died of cancer
and my house burnt down in aCalifornia wildfire, and those
(00:22):
are just the highlights.
I have a lot of reasons to bemiserable, but I'm not.
The truth is, life was morechallenging before these events
happened.
If you are tired of waiting foryour circumstances to change to
find happiness and peace ofmind, you are in the right place
.
Join me as I share the tools Iuse in love to transform
(00:43):
challenges into assets andinterview others about their
relationship journeys.
Together, let's learn how tohave a happy life full of
healthy, meaningfulrelationships and say goodbye to
hard times for good.
Hey everyone, welcome to theHard Times no More Relationship
(01:05):
Podcast.
I'm Alessandra Ptolemy-Hard, akaMrs Hard, your host Today.
I want to talk about your levelof worthiness.
I've been on a kick lately inwhich I've been contemplating
what worthiness means and howworthy do I feel like I am and
how I see worthiness playing outin other people's lives,
(01:27):
because we came into this worldand through our experiences in
watching others.
We have made subconsciousagreements that relate to our
self-worth and our ability tolove ourselves and our ability
to give ourselves permission toexperience joy.
And lately I have been holdingthe belief and the intention
(01:49):
that it is my inherentbirthright to be worthy, not
because of what I do or what Iprovide, but just because of who
I am.
And that is a very powerfulthought, a very powerful belief,
a very powerful idea, and Ibelieve that this is the same
(02:10):
for everyone.
Everyone is worthy just as theyare right now.
But how can we bridge the gapbetween where you feel like you
are now and feeling thatworthiness?
You like you are now andfeeling that worthiness,
accepting that worthiness,because believing you are worthy
can completely change your life, and so often we get caught up
(02:33):
in wanting externalcircumstances to change.
You know people, places andthings the level of success we
have in our business, the levelof security that we feel in our
daily life, the quality ofrelationships we have.
Our mind tells us that oncethose change, then we will feel
happy, successful, secure.
And, as I've talked aboutbefore, healing often is a
(02:55):
little bit backwards in thesense that it is an internal job
when you change how you feelinternally, then your external
life reflects that.
How you feel internally thanyour external life reflects that
, and I want to talk about whatlife would look like for you if
you felt worthy.
You would feel empowered by yourdecisions.
You would trust your instinctsand you wouldn't second guess
(03:17):
yourself, and you wouldn't relyon external validation to move
forward with whatever project oradventure that brings joy to
your life.
Setting healthy boundarieswould be so much easier because
you would be able to say nowithout guilt and you'd easily
be able to recognize that yourwell-being and your time is just
(03:37):
as important as anyone else's.
You would find yourself in morebalanced relationships and it
would be easy to just let therelationships go that are
draining you and not spend timearound people that aren't
filling your cup.
You would feel a strong senseof inner peace and resilience.
You would see that challengesaren't setbacks shaking your
(03:59):
self-esteem.
Instead, they are opportunitiesfor growth and you would trust
that you have resilience tohandle whatever life throws your
way.
Your life purpose would feelclear.
It would align with your truevalues and passions, and you
would be able to follow goalsthat resonate with who you truly
(04:21):
are rather than what you thinkyou should be doing, and your
full acceptance of worthinesswould inspire others around you,
and it would encourage othersto recognize their own
worthiness and to make positivechanges in their own lives.
This is very powerful stuff, andthe journey to worthiness
(04:42):
doesn't happen overnight.
It's a step-by-step process,but today I want to have an open
, free-flowing conversationabout what that process looks
like and what's holding you back.
So let's talk about thebeginning, of how this lack of
worthiness got started.
As you were growing up, yousubconsciously started to
(05:07):
believe in certain rules aboutlife, and this was from your own
experience and what was modeledto you.
And you are not the only onewho has accepted certain
agreements around self-worth.
Everyone has done this, and itlooks a little bit different for
everyone.
For some people, their worth isderived from their financial
(05:30):
success or their socialrecognition, and if you're a
caregiver, you may draw yourworth from your ability to serve
others and be the ideal parentor the perfect daughter.
The mom that makes every mealfrom scratch, has a super clean
house, signs their kid up forevery activity, brings cookies
(05:54):
to those activities, sacrificesher own needs and makes it look
effortless because she has fullmakeup and perfectly done hair
at 7 am in the morning.
Even if you haven't tried tostrive to be this mom, if you
have been a mom, I'm sure thatyou felt pressure to do so.
And for me, this played out asbeing a good daughter quote
(06:17):
unquote good daughter and havinga bit more of like a martyr
mentality, because I was raisedCatholic and my mom God bless
her soul she had more of like amartyr mentality because I was
raised Catholic and my mom Godbless her soul.
She had more of a martyrmentality of like this is our
cross to bear and that life ishard and everyone has a cross
and this is just how it's goingto be.
(06:38):
And so what this physicallylooked like was me caring for my
father and feeling like amartyr in doing so and then
becoming increasingly resentfulbecause I wasn't putting my
needs first.
I was prioritizing his needsand wellbeing.
And then this also played outfor me in relationships where I
would date people who werehaving a hard time in life, like
(07:01):
they either didn't have a job,a car or both, and I really
liked those fixer uppers and Iwould end up paying their rent,
I would pay for meals and Iwanted to save them and help
them.
I believed I saw their highestpotential within them and if
only they had me to help boostthem up then they would reach
(07:24):
this potential.
But I had a sort of martyrmentality while I was doing it,
like look how much I'm doing foryou.
But looking back I see thebehaviors that really weren't
serving me and were perpetuatingthe unhealthy, chaotic,
stress-filled, anxiety-provokingrelationships I had in my life.
But at the time I thought lifewas supposed to be hard, it was
(07:48):
always going to be hard, andthat I didn't really have a
choice in these situations.
Because of my role caring forothers and because that's where
I got my validation, that'swhere I got my self-worth and I
didn't know how to be worthy fora long time or sit in
worthiness without needing to beneeded by somebody else.
(08:12):
And it wasn't until I wasextremely uncomfortable that I
was willing to make a change.
So before we make a change,usually things have to get
really out of balance, and I'mgoing to use the analogy of a
seesaw.
Imagine on one side of theseesaw is the pain and
discomfort you feel, either inyour relationships or your work
(08:34):
life or with your anxiety, andthen on the other side of the
seesaw is the fear that you haveabout making a change, because
when you decide to make a change, everything becomes different,
and I've talked about thisbefore.
But when we make big changes inour life, our internal system
kind of freaks out and is afraidbecause even though things have
(08:55):
been uncomfortable, they'vebeen somewhat predictable, like
our system, our emotions.
We kind of know what to expectin our day-to-day life.
And that keeps us stuck in ourdiscomfort, because when we make
a change, new patterns play outand we have fear about what's
new because it's not reliable,it's not as stable in some ways,
(09:16):
even if it's leading youtowards a better life and better
and more peace of mind.
So in my experience the seesawhas had to tilt where the
discomfort I was feeling becamegreater than the fear of change.
And then that's when I've madebig changes.
And what that's looked like iswhen my life has felt
(09:38):
overwhelmingly chaotic, whereI've tried over and over again
to fix or improve a situation inmy life and I keep on ending up
in the same place.
For example, with myrelationship with my father.
I kept trying to quote, unquotehelp him and fix him and he
wouldn't change because hewasn't interested in changing
(10:01):
and I felt more and more insaneand I felt more and more angry
and resentful.
And it wasn't until I justreally couldn't stand to be
around him that I was willing tomake a change, because I didn't
want my relationship with himto be that way in my life.
So sometimes getting into a lotof discomfort can be a good
thing, because it can be thislaunch pad to launch you into an
(10:22):
entirely new direction.
Because you need that awareness, that clarity of you can't keep
doing things the same way youhave, because you keep on ending
up in the same place.
And that awareness is the mostimportant thing for change,
because if you're not aware ofwhat is going wrong or what you
(10:43):
want to change, you can't evenbegin to change it.
And then the second mostimportant thing is willingness,
because once you get anunderstanding of what you want
to change, you don't have toknow how that's going to play
out, how the change is going tohappen, what that's going to
look like.
You really just needwillingness and an open mind.
(11:04):
You need to ask for help.
You need to get help from otherpeople, or podcasts, or mentors
, or coaches, someone who'sgoing to bring something new
into your environment so thatyou can look at your situation
differently and then implementtools and practices to change
your behavior and have insightsabout yourself so that you can
(11:27):
create lasting change.
And if you feel like yes, mrsHart, this totally resonates
with me and I would love to workwith you through one-on-one
coaching.
I'm going to put a link in theshow notes for that.
I start clients with a free30-minute coaching session it's
actually called a stress reliefsession in which we will talk
(11:48):
about your specific situationand the practices and tools that
I can show you how to implementinto your life to make the
changes in your relationships,to make the changes with your
anxiety, so that you can havepeace of mind and really start
sinking into that worthiness,that good, good self-love,
(12:08):
self-care feeling that we aretalking about today.
And so this awareness, thisanger that I felt with my father
, brought me to theunderstanding that I was looking
for validation from otherpeople in my life to validate my
worthiness, to affirm myworthiness, and, through the
(12:32):
help of mentors and differentpractices, I learned how to rely
less on people, places andthings to make me feel safe, to
make me feel secure, and I hadto shift my reliance from people
, places and things to myselfand my higher power, because you
(12:52):
can't take something away andthen just expect it to get
better.
You have to replace it withsomething.
And then another layer of theinternal journey onion opened
itself up a couple of months ago, where I found this kind of
frustration and anger around myexperience of joy.
(13:14):
It's like, yes, I knew that Icouldn't rely on external people
, places and things for me tofeel stable, secure and
fulfilled, but now it was evendeeper than that.
It was like I'm not gonna waitto have a certain amount of
success in my job, for myhusband's work schedule to
(13:34):
become stable, for my health tolook a certain way to experience
joy, that I am going toexperience joy and happiness
right now.
And for me, this aha momentcame about because I was being
very outcome oriented in my life, Like I had an expectation that
(13:58):
if I ate a certain way and Ifollowed these rules, then my
blood work would be better orperfect or how I wanted it to be
.
And I also had been stuckwaiting for my husband's life to
become stable so that then wecould make certain decisions
about what we want to do in thefuture and trips we want to take
(14:21):
and trips I wanted to take, andI had this awakening moment
this was back in February whereI realized that he has become a
different person than when wefirst met.
There are a lot of pros to thisdifferent person Like he is
very clean, very organized.
When I met him, he was verymessy.
(14:41):
I was the clean one.
Now he is the clean one and Iam the messy one and my level of
messiness has not changed.
His level of cleanliness andorganization has changed thanks
to the fire service.
Thank you, fire service,because my husband's a
firefighter and he went throughparamedic school and then he had
to do this five month trainingacademy, which just ended two
(15:04):
weeks ago, which is amazing, butit was from March until
essentially August and it waslike back in February.
You know, it was like onetraining thing after another.
You know, like one bigschooling push after another.
That was like totally consuminghis life because it was taking
him to where he wanted to go interms of his goals.
(15:26):
And I remember looking at himbeing like oh my gosh, you're a
different person, and like thisisn't a phase and like I'm okay
that this isn't a phase, but Ijust need to know that this
isn't a phase so that I can moveon and just be like, okay, this
is just how things are going togo.
And he was like, well, thingsshouldn't always be this intense
.
And I was like, let's not liketalk about the future, of how
(15:48):
things are going to be someday,like let me just accept that
this is the reality, and if itbecomes less intense, that's
great.
But I'm no longer going to waitfor it to change to find my
happiness.
And then I decided to go toIreland with my family last May
and then take a road trip withmy friend and my sister-in-law
in August.
And he was laughing with one ofhis firefighter friends because
(16:11):
I think they were talking aboutme.
And his firefighter friend islike oh yeah, what's your wife
up to?
And he's like, oh, she's goingto Ireland.
And his friend's like what areyou going?
He's like no, I can't gobecause I'm in this academy.
And he's like she's just goingwithout you.
And he's like, yeah, she toldme she's no longer waiting for
me to make the choices thatbring her joy, and so she's just
(16:31):
going to go do them herself.
And for us this was like a veryjoyful, positive conversation.
It is not something that isfilled with any resentment or
any expectations, because himand I have very clear
communication, and then we alsosupport each other's
independence.
I totally love my husband forpursuing the goals that he wants
(16:53):
to pursue, and I'm so gratefulthat he allows me to do the same
, whether they're in my worklife or traveling life, and I
can't wait to go back to Irelandwith my husband at some point
when he's available.
But I was just tired of puttingthings on hold, waiting for
these things to work out.
To feel happy and I had alreadylearned this lesson a couple of
(17:17):
times over to feel happy and Ihad already learned this lesson
a couple of times over, but itbecame so clear last spring, and
that is what I want to shareabout today is like not waiting
for something external in yourlife to help you feel worthy or
to allow you to feel worthy, torecognize that this is your
birthright, and then thisfeeling of worthiness can launch
(17:40):
you into allowing more joy intoyour life.
Because lately I've beenpracticing allowing more joy
into my life and it is makingthis huge difference in my
energy level, in my expectationsof the flow of the day, in what
I am paying attention tothroughout the day, and it works
(18:02):
like a magnet.
The more I practice methodsthat help me tap into joy, the
more joy I feel, the moreabundance I feel in my life, the
more opportunities just seem toflow and land in my lap,
instead of me needing to workhard to receive these
(18:24):
opportunities and burn myselfout.
And if you resonate, you knowthat this is like years and
years of programming that you'rehaving to unwind.
But I want to just hold alittle light of hope of like
this is working for me.
It can work for you too, andit's about what you pay
attention to and it's about thebeliefs you have about yourself
and your life.
(18:45):
And when I was first working onreally embracing joy because I
feel like you kind of get out ofthe muck, like you're in this
deep, dark, sticky, yucky area.
So you get out of there andthen like things are going well,
you know, like you're not infight or flight anymore, You're
not anxious anymore, and thenyou get to this another level of
like oh like I'm caring formyself more, I'm taking more
(19:09):
time to put my needs first.
I feel good doing this.
I don't feel guilt about itanymore, I'm not waiting for the
other shoe to drop.
And then you get to this nextphase of I'm increasing the joy
in my life.
I'm going for that adventurethat I want to take to Ireland.
I am saying yes to the retreatI want to participate in in
(19:31):
Mexico.
You know like it's anotherlayer of like being able to
receive and being able to alignwith what you really want in
your life and giving yourselfpermission to say yes and do the
things that light you up,without needing external
validation from others orpermission from others to do
(19:53):
what your heart is calling youto do.
You're just following yourhappy little heart, and so I
believe that this feeling of joyis a stream that you can just
tap into.
And it's like a muscle, becausein our brain we have neuro
pathways and whatever pathwayswe practice get stronger.
(20:15):
So we're going to segue into alittle bit of science here.
So there's a part of the braincalled the RAS and that stands
for the Recticular ActivatingSystem, and this system helps
you focus on specific stimuli inyour environment, and it is a
goal-oriented system and itsgoal is dependent on what you
(20:39):
want or what you are focusing on.
So there's a saying like whereyour focus goes energy flows.
So if you're feeling reallyanxious, it's going to tune in
to threats in your environmentthat prove why you should feel
anxious and stressed.
And this system is like aself-fulfilling prophecy.
(21:00):
If every time, right before yougo on vacation, there seems to
be some huge emergency, yoursystem is going to look for that
and whatever hiccups orchallenges present themselves
all of the sudden will turn intoa huge emergency where, on your
average know, your averageWednesday, it would just be a
(21:21):
little bump in the road becauseyou're expecting this and I know
your brain may try to validateno, but look, this is what is
actually happening.
But remember the way we approachand view and relate to
situations.
You know that magnifies emotionand makes it way more chaotic
if we're expecting it to be thisbig, bad, awful thing, versus
(21:45):
if we're just more neutral andobserving it like, oh, this is
happening, there's in, thenfeeling optimistic, like, oh,
there's a solution for this, Ican ask for help, I can figure
this out, I can find solutions,things are working out for me.
You know how you approach aproblem and relate to it is
going to affect how big of adeal it is in your life and then
like a really like simple coreway.
(22:08):
I can understand the RAS systemis like if you've ever been
shopping for a new car and youdecide on a make and model that
you want and then, all of asudden, you see this make and
model everywhere.
That's because your RAS systemis filtering out information,
like the other cars that you'renot shopping for, and it's
really honing in on that one carthat you want to buy.
(22:30):
And so, even though the systemcan focus on the negative, it
can also focus on the positiveand it can help you tap into joy
.
And so how I've been doing thisdaily in my life this is
actually a practice I've beenpracticing probably like five
days a week recently ismeditation and appreciation
rampage, which is like anextended gratitude list.
(22:53):
And so what I've been doing isI start my morning with like 10
to 15 minutes of meditation andthen I sit down and I write
about what I am grateful for,but how it's different than a
gratitude list.
It's like an extended gratitudelist.
I write I appreciate how muchfamily and love I have in my
life.
I appreciate that I am able toaccept love and feel safe and
(23:16):
connected deeply with others.
I appreciate the I am able toaccept love and feel safe and
connected deeply with others.
I appreciate the reflectionsothers show me that inspire love
in my life.
I appreciate the journey oflearning to be compassionate.
So like that is a sectionaround family.
And then I'll do the same aroundmoney.
I'll write I appreciate the joythat money brings into my life
and the financial security Ifeel.
I'll write I appreciate the joythat money brings into my life
(23:37):
and the financial security Ifeel.
And I'll go on and on about theways that I appreciate how
money is improving my life.
And then I'll talk about myhealth.
I'll write I appreciate myhealth and my body's ability to
heal.
I appreciate its resilience.
I appreciate the tools I havethat support my body's healing
process.
(23:57):
I appreciate my fitness leveland my relationship I have with
exercise.
And you can do this with anytopic in your life.
You can do this with yourrelationship, even if it's
challenging.
Write about the things that youappreciate about that person,
that you appreciate about yourrelationship.
If you are feeling some tensionin your workplace or some
(24:18):
resistance at your job, writeabout the things that you
appreciate about your work.
Maybe it's your schedule, maybeit's your boss, maybe it's
something your co-worker does.
Maybe you have one co-workerwho's like a really good friend
there and you just appreciate somany things about this coworker
.
Write about that and thenthat's going to help your RAS
(24:38):
system tune into joy, tune intosecurity, tune into your
worthiness, tune into yourresilience, and then that is
going to highlight the evidenceof all of those things in your
environment.
And the more that you practicethat over and over again like a
muscle, your brain is going togo in those directions instead
(25:00):
of anxiety, stress, fear.
And then the one thing I need tosay because I am not an ideal
human and what happened for mewas when I started doing this, I
would get really frustratedwhen I wasn't able to stay in
joy and appreciation, becauselife has hills and valleys and
(25:24):
instead of wanting it to beperfect and like I'm only going
to stay in joy because I canhonestly get into this
idealistic control statesometimes which is funny but I
started to say instead, like Iappreciate that these challenges
are presenting themselves andthat things will work themselves
out, and I appreciate howthings work themselves out and
(25:44):
that I'm supported and that it'snot up to me to fix everything,
to control everything.
I appreciate what I'm learningfrom this situation.
I appreciate the compassion I'mcultivating for myself in this
situation, you know, and so youdon't have to be perfect at
staying in that space.
And then when things get alittle rocky in that space, it
(26:04):
doesn't mean that you're failingor you're not doing it right.
You're making a shift and itbecomes easier and easier the
more you practice it Just likegoing to the gym building new
muscles.
Your gym routine becomes easierthe more often you do it.
Your walking routine becomeseasier the more often you do it.
Your meditation routine becomeseasier the more often you do it
(26:25):
.
It's all about practice andsometimes our brains will tell
us that we need to get to a goalor a destination.
And what makes the ride evenbetter is that when we're able
to fall in love with the process, the process of learning, the
process of understandingyourself on a deeper level, the
(26:46):
process of learning to care foryourself and what that looks
like, and the new experiencesthat brings into your life.
You have to fall in love withthe process because every time
people reach a goal, they'refulfilled for maybe five minutes
, 10 minutes, 30 minutes a day,and it's great if you can sink
(27:06):
into gratitude and appreciationfor the achievement of whatever
goal that you're experiencing,but it's so fleeting.
But the process is the juice,the meat and potatoes that is
never ending.
You're never going to completethe process.
You're never going to be acompletely whole human.
That's going to stay that wayforever.
(27:28):
You're never going to just stayin one spot.
That's not what life is about.
It's about this process, and sosurrendering to the process,
accepting the process and thenenjoying the process, being
curious about the process, is amuch more fulfilling way to live
, and so that's what I'mencouraging you to do is to see
(27:52):
how much worthiness you can tapinto, see how much joy you can
tap into and really start toplay with that.
You know, give yourselfpermission to have fun in your
life without waiting until youretire, have a certain level of
stability or financial security,whatever it is.
Stop waiting, just do it now.
Start committing to this joy,this process of worthiness, now
(28:16):
today.
Committing to this joy, thisprocess of worthiness, now today
.
And so, like I said, one of thethings that holds us back from
our joy and our worthiness islimiting beliefs.
So I have an upcoming workshopcalled how to Be your Own Best
Friend, where I'm going to showyou how to release perfectionism
and people-pleasing whilecalling in peace of mind.
And the meat and potatoes ofthis work is all about quieting
(28:40):
your inner critic.
That mean negative Nancy thattalks to you and tells you that
joy is frivolous.
If you follow your joy orfollow your bliss, you won't get
things done.
You'll just become a blob orlay on a hammock eating bonbons
all day.
We're gonna address thoselimiting beliefs that come up,
that are shaping yourrelationships, that are
(29:03):
contributing to your anxiety andyour stress.
We're going to talk about howchanging that inner self-talk is
going to deepen your connectionwith yourself and with others,
and effective techniques you canuse to cultivate peace of mind
regardless of what is happeningaround you.
So again, join me Sunday,september 8th, at 3 PM.
(29:27):
It's going to be at my officein downtown Napa.
There's going to be a link inthe show notes to click and sign
up, and then I also have linkson my website at mrs-hardcom and
if you're looking to connect alittle sooner and if you're
listening to this podcast closeto when it comes out, leisha and
I are hosting Movement andMeditation Sunday, august 25th,
(29:51):
at 8.15am at the Garden Breweryin downtown Napa.
This is a one-hour workoutclass like no other, because the
lovely Leysha is gonna guide usthrough about a 40-minute body
weight workout and what thatmeans is that you just bring a
yoga mat and there'll bedifferent moves that will get
(30:12):
your heart rate up and also helpyou cultivate strength and
balance.
And then she is amazing.
She has modifications for anyage, any fitness level.
People have had injuries doreally well in her class and
she's really good at justcatering to you where you're at,
because the number one rule isthat we're here to have fun
(30:34):
during movement and meditationand to move safely, so that you
leave your workout class feelingenergized, with pep in your
step, not injured.
And then, after her 40 minuteish body weight workout, I'm
going to calm things down with aguided meditation and a short
(30:54):
talk that will help you bringtools into your meditation
practice and your life that willallow you to have more peaceful
relationships, less anxiety andreally just live a more
fulfilling, connected life.
So again, join us August 25th.
(31:14):
That's a Sunday, sunday, funday,8.15 in the morning, so that
you can do it before you do yourerrands and get yourself ready
for the week.
It's the perfect way to startyour Sunday and kick off the
week ahead, and so that'll be atthe Garden Brewery in downtown
Napa, and you can find a link inthe show notes to sign up.
(31:34):
You can also find that on myInstagram page and the bio, and
we look forward to seeing youthere.
And then, last but not least,if this episode resonates with
you and if you thought ofsomebody who might enjoy it as
well, send it to them.
(31:56):
Share it with them, because mymission is to help empower
others, and when you share mypodcast episodes with other
people, you're helping them ontheir life journey without you
really having to do much work atall or get too much into their
stuff.
You can just like send it tothem and then let go of the
(32:16):
outcome, like, hey, maybethey'll benefit, you know, maybe
they'll listen to it, maybe not, doesn't matter, you did your
part, you sent it to them, butthank you so much for being a
part of this community and forlistening in today.
I am so grateful to have youhere and I look forward to
connecting with you again soon.
Until next time, take care.
Hi, I'm Alessandra Tolome Hard, aka Mrs Hard, and
this is Hard Times no More, apodcast for people who are tired
of struggling with boundaries,people-pleasing and relationship
problems.
I have overcome some hard times.
Within three years, I stoppeddrinking, my mom died of cancer
and my house burnt down in aCalifornia wildfire, and those
(00:22):
are just the highlights.
I have a lot of reasons to bemiserable, but I'm not.
The truth is, life was morechallenging before these events
happened.
If you are tired of waiting foryour circumstances to change to
find happiness and peace ofmind, you are in the right place
.
Join me as I share the tools Iuse in love to transform
(00:43):
challenges into assets andinterview others about their
relationship journeys.
Together, let's learn how tohave a happy life full of
healthy, meaningfulrelationships and say goodbye to
hard times for good.
Hey everyone, welcome to theHard Times no More Relationship
(01:05):
Podcast.
I'm Alessandra Ptolemy-Hard, akaMrs Hard, your host Today.
I want to talk about your levelof worthiness.
I've been on a kick lately inwhich I've been contemplating
what worthiness means and howworthy do I feel like I am and
how I see worthiness playing outin other people's lives,
(01:27):
because we came into this worldand through our experiences in
watching others.
We have made subconsciousagreements that relate to our
self-worth and our ability tolove ourselves and our ability
to give ourselves permission toexperience joy.
And lately I have been holdingthe belief and the intention
(01:49):
that it is my inherentbirthright to be worthy, not
because of what I do or what Iprovide, but just because of who
I am.
And that is a very powerfulthought, a very powerful belief,
a very powerful idea, and Ibelieve that this is the same
(02:10):
for everyone.
Everyone is worthy just as theyare right now.
But how can we bridge the gapbetween where you feel like you
are now and feeling thatworthiness?
You like you are now andfeeling that worthiness,
accepting that worthiness,because believing you are worthy
can completely change your life, and so often we get caught up
(02:33):
in wanting externalcircumstances to change.
You know people, places andthings the level of success we
have in our business, the levelof security that we feel in our
daily life, the quality ofrelationships we have.
Our mind tells us that oncethose change, then we will feel
happy, successful, secure.
And, as I've talked aboutbefore, healing often is a
(02:55):
little bit backwards in thesense that it is an internal job
when you change how you feelinternally, then your external
life reflects that.
How you feel internally thanyour external life reflects that
, and I want to talk about whatlife would look like for you if
you felt worthy.
You would feel empowered by yourdecisions.
You would trust your instinctsand you wouldn't second guess
(03:17):
yourself, and you wouldn't relyon external validation to move
forward with whatever project oradventure that brings joy to
your life.
Setting healthy boundarieswould be so much easier because
you would be able to say nowithout guilt and you'd easily
be able to recognize that yourwell-being and your time is just
(03:37):
as important as anyone else's.
You would find yourself in morebalanced relationships and it
would be easy to just let therelationships go that are
draining you and not spend timearound people that aren't
filling your cup.
You would feel a strong senseof inner peace and resilience.
You would see that challengesaren't setbacks shaking your
(03:59):
self-esteem.
Instead, they are opportunitiesfor growth and you would trust
that you have resilience tohandle whatever life throws your
way.
Your life purpose would feelclear.
It would align with your truevalues and passions, and you
would be able to follow goalsthat resonate with who you truly
(04:21):
are rather than what you thinkyou should be doing, and your
full acceptance of worthinesswould inspire others around you,
and it would encourage othersto recognize their own
worthiness and to make positivechanges in their own lives.
This is very powerful stuff, andthe journey to worthiness
(04:42):
doesn't happen overnight.
It's a step-by-step process,but today I want to have an open
, free-flowing conversationabout what that process looks
like and what's holding you back.
So let's talk about thebeginning, of how this lack of
worthiness got started.
As you were growing up, yousubconsciously started to
(05:07):
believe in certain rules aboutlife, and this was from your own
experience and what was modeledto you.
And you are not the only onewho has accepted certain
agreements around self-worth.
Everyone has done this, and itlooks a little bit different for
everyone.
For some people, their worth isderived from their financial
(05:30):
success or their socialrecognition, and if you're a
caregiver, you may draw yourworth from your ability to serve
others and be the ideal parentor the perfect daughter.
The mom that makes every mealfrom scratch, has a super clean
house, signs their kid up forevery activity, brings cookies
(05:54):
to those activities, sacrificesher own needs and makes it look
effortless because she has fullmakeup and perfectly done hair
at 7 am in the morning.
Even if you haven't tried tostrive to be this mom, if you
have been a mom, I'm sure thatyou felt pressure to do so.
And for me, this played out asbeing a good daughter quote
(06:17):
unquote good daughter and havinga bit more of like a martyr
mentality, because I was raisedCatholic and my mom God bless
her soul she had more of like amartyr mentality because I was
raised Catholic and my mom Godbless her soul.
She had more of a martyrmentality of like this is our
cross to bear and that life ishard and everyone has a cross
and this is just how it's goingto be.
(06:38):
And so what this physicallylooked like was me caring for my
father and feeling like amartyr in doing so and then
becoming increasingly resentfulbecause I wasn't putting my
needs first.
I was prioritizing his needsand wellbeing.
And then this also played outfor me in relationships where I
would date people who werehaving a hard time in life, like
(07:01):
they either didn't have a job,a car or both, and I really
liked those fixer uppers and Iwould end up paying their rent,
I would pay for meals and Iwanted to save them and help
them.
I believed I saw their highestpotential within them and if
only they had me to help boostthem up then they would reach
(07:24):
this potential.
But I had a sort of martyrmentality while I was doing it,
like look how much I'm doing foryou.
But looking back I see thebehaviors that really weren't
serving me and were perpetuatingthe unhealthy, chaotic,
stress-filled, anxiety-provokingrelationships I had in my life.
But at the time I thought lifewas supposed to be hard, it was
(07:48):
always going to be hard, andthat I didn't really have a
choice in these situations.
Because of my role caring forothers and because that's where
I got my validation, that'swhere I got my self-worth and I
didn't know how to be worthy fora long time or sit in
worthiness without needing to beneeded by somebody else.
(08:12):
And it wasn't until I wasextremely uncomfortable that I
was willing to make a change.
So before we make a change,usually things have to get
really out of balance, and I'mgoing to use the analogy of a
seesaw.
Imagine on one side of theseesaw is the pain and
discomfort you feel, either inyour relationships or your work
(08:34):
life or with your anxiety, andthen on the other side of the
seesaw is the fear that you haveabout making a change, because
when you decide to make a change, everything becomes different,
and I've talked about thisbefore.
But when we make big changes inour life, our internal system
kind of freaks out and is afraidbecause even though things have
(08:55):
been uncomfortable, they'vebeen somewhat predictable, like
our system, our emotions.
We kind of know what to expectin our day-to-day life.
And that keeps us stuck in ourdiscomfort, because when we make
a change, new patterns play outand we have fear about what's
new because it's not reliable,it's not as stable in some ways,
(09:16):
even if it's leading youtowards a better life and better
and more peace of mind.
So in my experience the seesawhas had to tilt where the
discomfort I was feeling becamegreater than the fear of change.
And then that's when I've madebig changes.
And what that's looked like iswhen my life has felt
(09:38):
overwhelmingly chaotic, whereI've tried over and over again
to fix or improve a situation inmy life and I keep on ending up
in the same place.
For example, with myrelationship with my father.
I kept trying to quote, unquotehelp him and fix him and he
wouldn't change because hewasn't interested in changing
(10:01):
and I felt more and more insaneand I felt more and more angry
and resentful.
And it wasn't until I justreally couldn't stand to be
around him that I was willing tomake a change, because I didn't
want my relationship with himto be that way in my life.
So sometimes getting into a lotof discomfort can be a good
thing, because it can be thislaunch pad to launch you into an
(10:22):
entirely new direction.
Because you need that awareness, that clarity of you can't keep
doing things the same way youhave, because you keep on ending
up in the same place.
And that awareness is the mostimportant thing for change,
because if you're not aware ofwhat is going wrong or what you
(10:43):
want to change, you can't evenbegin to change it.
And then the second mostimportant thing is willingness,
because once you get anunderstanding of what you want
to change, you don't have toknow how that's going to play
out, how the change is going tohappen, what that's going to
look like.
You really just needwillingness and an open mind.
(11:04):
You need to ask for help.
You need to get help from otherpeople, or podcasts, or mentors
, or coaches, someone who'sgoing to bring something new
into your environment so thatyou can look at your situation
differently and then implementtools and practices to change
your behavior and have insightsabout yourself so that you can
(11:27):
create lasting change.
And if you feel like yes, mrsHart, this totally resonates
with me and I would love to workwith you through one-on-one
coaching.
I'm going to put a link in theshow notes for that.
I start clients with a free30-minute coaching session it's
actually called a stress reliefsession in which we will talk
(11:48):
about your specific situationand the practices and tools that
I can show you how to implementinto your life to make the
changes in your relationships,to make the changes with your
anxiety, so that you can havepeace of mind and really start
sinking into that worthiness,that good, good self-love,
(12:08):
self-care feeling that we aretalking about today.
And so this awareness, thisanger that I felt with my father
, brought me to theunderstanding that I was looking
for validation from otherpeople in my life to validate my
worthiness, to affirm myworthiness, and, through the
(12:32):
help of mentors and differentpractices, I learned how to rely
less on people, places andthings to make me feel safe, to
make me feel secure, and I hadto shift my reliance from people
, places and things to myselfand my higher power, because you
(12:52):
can't take something away andthen just expect it to get
better.
You have to replace it withsomething.
And then another layer of theinternal journey onion opened
itself up a couple of months ago, where I found this kind of
frustration and anger around myexperience of joy.
(13:14):
It's like, yes, I knew that Icouldn't rely on external people
, places and things for me tofeel stable, secure and
fulfilled, but now it was evendeeper than that.
It was like I'm not gonna waitto have a certain amount of
success in my job, for myhusband's work schedule to
(13:34):
become stable, for my health tolook a certain way to experience
joy, that I am going toexperience joy and happiness
right now.
And for me, this aha momentcame about because I was being
very outcome oriented in my life, Like I had an expectation that
(13:58):
if I ate a certain way and Ifollowed these rules, then my
blood work would be better orperfect or how I wanted it to be
.
And I also had been stuckwaiting for my husband's life to
become stable so that then wecould make certain decisions
about what we want to do in thefuture and trips we want to take
(14:21):
and trips I wanted to take, andI had this awakening moment
this was back in February whereI realized that he has become a
different person than when wefirst met.
There are a lot of pros to thisdifferent person Like he is
very clean, very organized.
When I met him, he was verymessy.
(14:41):
I was the clean one.
Now he is the clean one and Iam the messy one and my level of
messiness has not changed.
His level of cleanliness andorganization has changed thanks
to the fire service.
Thank you, fire service,because my husband's a
firefighter and he went throughparamedic school and then he had
to do this five month trainingacademy, which just ended two
(15:04):
weeks ago, which is amazing, butit was from March until
essentially August and it waslike back in February.
You know, it was like onetraining thing after another.
You know, like one bigschooling push after another.
That was like totally consuminghis life because it was taking
him to where he wanted to go interms of his goals.
(15:26):
And I remember looking at himbeing like oh my gosh, you're a
different person, and like thisisn't a phase and like I'm okay
that this isn't a phase, but Ijust need to know that this
isn't a phase so that I can moveon and just be like, okay, this
is just how things are going togo.
And he was like, well, thingsshouldn't always be this intense
.
And I was like, let's not liketalk about the future, of how
(15:48):
things are going to be someday,like let me just accept that
this is the reality, and if itbecomes less intense, that's
great.
But I'm no longer going to waitfor it to change to find my
happiness.
And then I decided to go toIreland with my family last May
and then take a road trip withmy friend and my sister-in-law
in August.
And he was laughing with one ofhis firefighter friends because
(16:11):
I think they were talking aboutme.
And his firefighter friend islike oh yeah, what's your wife
up to?
And he's like, oh, she's goingto Ireland.
And his friend's like what areyou going?
He's like no, I can't gobecause I'm in this academy.
And he's like she's just goingwithout you.
And he's like, yeah, she toldme she's no longer waiting for
me to make the choices thatbring her joy, and so she's just
(16:31):
going to go do them herself.
And for us this was like a veryjoyful, positive conversation.
It is not something that isfilled with any resentment or
any expectations, because himand I have very clear
communication, and then we alsosupport each other's
independence.
I totally love my husband forpursuing the goals that he wants
(16:53):
to pursue, and I'm so gratefulthat he allows me to do the same
, whether they're in my worklife or traveling life, and I
can't wait to go back to Irelandwith my husband at some point
when he's available.
But I was just tired of puttingthings on hold, waiting for
these things to work out.
To feel happy and I had alreadylearned this lesson a couple of
(17:17):
times over to feel happy and Ihad already learned this lesson
a couple of times over, but itbecame so clear last spring, and
that is what I want to shareabout today is like not waiting
for something external in yourlife to help you feel worthy or
to allow you to feel worthy, torecognize that this is your
birthright, and then thisfeeling of worthiness can launch
(17:40):
you into allowing more joy intoyour life.
Because lately I've beenpracticing allowing more joy
into my life and it is makingthis huge difference in my
energy level, in my expectationsof the flow of the day, in what
I am paying attention tothroughout the day, and it works
(18:02):
like a magnet.
The more I practice methodsthat help me tap into joy, the
more joy I feel, the moreabundance I feel in my life, the
more opportunities just seem toflow and land in my lap,
instead of me needing to workhard to receive these
(18:24):
opportunities and burn myselfout.
And if you resonate, you knowthat this is like years and
years of programming that you'rehaving to unwind.
But I want to just hold alittle light of hope of like
this is working for me.
It can work for you too, andit's about what you pay
attention to and it's about thebeliefs you have about yourself
and your life.
(18:45):
And when I was first working onreally embracing joy because I
feel like you kind of get out ofthe muck, like you're in this
deep, dark, sticky, yucky area.
So you get out of there andthen like things are going well,
you know, like you're not infight or flight anymore, You're
not anxious anymore, and thenyou get to this another level of
like oh like I'm caring formyself more, I'm taking more
(19:09):
time to put my needs first.
I feel good doing this.
I don't feel guilt about itanymore, I'm not waiting for the
other shoe to drop.
And then you get to this nextphase of I'm increasing the joy
in my life.
I'm going for that adventurethat I want to take to Ireland.
I am saying yes to the retreatI want to participate in in
(19:31):
Mexico.
You know like it's anotherlayer of like being able to
receive and being able to alignwith what you really want in
your life and giving yourselfpermission to say yes and do the
things that light you up,without needing external
validation from others orpermission from others to do
(19:53):
what your heart is calling youto do.
You're just following yourhappy little heart, and so I
believe that this feeling of joyis a stream that you can just
tap into.
And it's like a muscle, becausein our brain we have neuro
pathways and whatever pathwayswe practice get stronger.
(20:15):
So we're going to segue into alittle bit of science here.
So there's a part of the braincalled the RAS and that stands
for the Recticular ActivatingSystem, and this system helps
you focus on specific stimuli inyour environment, and it is a
goal-oriented system and itsgoal is dependent on what you
(20:39):
want or what you are focusing on.
So there's a saying like whereyour focus goes energy flows.
So if you're feeling reallyanxious, it's going to tune in
to threats in your environmentthat prove why you should feel
anxious and stressed.
And this system is like aself-fulfilling prophecy.
(21:00):
If every time, right before yougo on vacation, there seems to
be some huge emergency, yoursystem is going to look for that
and whatever hiccups orchallenges present themselves
all of the sudden will turn intoa huge emergency where, on your
average know, your averageWednesday, it would just be a
(21:21):
little bump in the road becauseyou're expecting this and I know
your brain may try to validateno, but look, this is what is
actually happening.
But remember the way we approachand view and relate to
situations.
You know that magnifies emotionand makes it way more chaotic
if we're expecting it to be thisbig, bad, awful thing, versus
(21:45):
if we're just more neutral andobserving it like, oh, this is
happening, there's in, thenfeeling optimistic, like, oh,
there's a solution for this, Ican ask for help, I can figure
this out, I can find solutions,things are working out for me.
You know how you approach aproblem and relate to it is
going to affect how big of adeal it is in your life and then
like a really like simple coreway.
(22:08):
I can understand the RAS systemis like if you've ever been
shopping for a new car and youdecide on a make and model that
you want and then, all of asudden, you see this make and
model everywhere.
That's because your RAS systemis filtering out information,
like the other cars that you'renot shopping for, and it's
really honing in on that one carthat you want to buy.
(22:30):
And so, even though the systemcan focus on the negative, it
can also focus on the positiveand it can help you tap into joy
.
And so how I've been doing thisdaily in my life this is
actually a practice I've beenpracticing probably like five
days a week recently ismeditation and appreciation
rampage, which is like anextended gratitude list.
(22:53):
And so what I've been doing isI start my morning with like 10
to 15 minutes of meditation andthen I sit down and I write
about what I am grateful for,but how it's different than a
gratitude list.
It's like an extended gratitudelist.
I write I appreciate how muchfamily and love I have in my
life.
I appreciate that I am able toaccept love and feel safe and
(23:16):
connected deeply with others.
I appreciate the I am able toaccept love and feel safe and
connected deeply with others.
I appreciate the reflectionsothers show me that inspire love
in my life.
I appreciate the journey oflearning to be compassionate.
So like that is a sectionaround family.
And then I'll do the same aroundmoney.
I'll write I appreciate the joythat money brings into my life
and the financial security Ifeel.
I'll write I appreciate the joythat money brings into my life
(23:37):
and the financial security Ifeel.
And I'll go on and on about theways that I appreciate how
money is improving my life.
And then I'll talk about myhealth.
I'll write I appreciate myhealth and my body's ability to
heal.
I appreciate its resilience.
I appreciate the tools I havethat support my body's healing
process.
(23:57):
I appreciate my fitness leveland my relationship I have with
exercise.
And you can do this with anytopic in your life.
You can do this with yourrelationship, even if it's
challenging.
Write about the things that youappreciate about that person,
that you appreciate about yourrelationship.
If you are feeling some tensionin your workplace or some
(24:18):
resistance at your job, writeabout the things that you
appreciate about your work.
Maybe it's your schedule, maybeit's your boss, maybe it's
something your co-worker does.
Maybe you have one co-workerwho's like a really good friend
there and you just appreciate somany things about this coworker
.
Write about that and thenthat's going to help your RAS
(24:38):
system tune into joy, tune intosecurity, tune into your
worthiness, tune into yourresilience, and then that is
going to highlight the evidenceof all of those things in your
environment.
And the more that you practicethat over and over again like a
muscle, your brain is going togo in those directions instead
(25:00):
of anxiety, stress, fear.
And then the one thing I need tosay because I am not an ideal
human and what happened for mewas when I started doing this, I
would get really frustratedwhen I wasn't able to stay in
joy and appreciation, becauselife has hills and valleys and
(25:24):
instead of wanting it to beperfect and like I'm only going
to stay in joy because I canhonestly get into this
idealistic control statesometimes which is funny but I
started to say instead, like Iappreciate that these challenges
are presenting themselves andthat things will work themselves
out, and I appreciate howthings work themselves out and
(25:44):
that I'm supported and that it'snot up to me to fix everything,
to control everything.
I appreciate what I'm learningfrom this situation.
I appreciate the compassion I'mcultivating for myself in this
situation, you know, and so youdon't have to be perfect at
staying in that space.
And then when things get alittle rocky in that space, it
(26:04):
doesn't mean that you're failingor you're not doing it right.
You're making a shift and itbecomes easier and easier the
more you practice it Just likegoing to the gym building new
muscles.
Your gym routine becomes easierthe more often you do it.
Your walking routine becomeseasier the more often you do it.
Your meditation routine becomeseasier the more often you do it
(26:25):
.
It's all about practice andsometimes our brains will tell
us that we need to get to a goalor a destination.
And what makes the ride evenbetter is that when we're able
to fall in love with the process, the process of learning, the
process of understandingyourself on a deeper level, the
(26:46):
process of learning to care foryourself and what that looks
like, and the new experiencesthat brings into your life.
You have to fall in love withthe process because every time
people reach a goal, they'refulfilled for maybe five minutes
, 10 minutes, 30 minutes a day,and it's great if you can sink
(27:06):
into gratitude and appreciationfor the achievement of whatever
goal that you're experiencing,but it's so fleeting.
But the process is the juice,the meat and potatoes that is
never ending.
You're never going to completethe process.
You're never going to be acompletely whole human.
That's going to stay that wayforever.
(27:28):
You're never going to just stayin one spot.
That's not what life is about.
It's about this process, and sosurrendering to the process,
accepting the process and thenenjoying the process, being
curious about the process, is amuch more fulfilling way to live
, and so that's what I'mencouraging you to do is to see
(27:52):
how much worthiness you can tapinto, see how much joy you can
tap into and really start toplay with that.
You know, give yourselfpermission to have fun in your
life without waiting until youretire, have a certain level of
stability or financial security,whatever it is.
Stop waiting, just do it now.
Start committing to this joy,this process of worthiness, now
(28:16):
today.
Committing to this joy, thisprocess of worthiness, now today
.
And so, like I said, one of thethings that holds us back from
our joy and our worthiness islimiting beliefs.
So I have an upcoming workshopcalled how to Be your Own Best
Friend, where I'm going to showyou how to release perfectionism
and people-pleasing whilecalling in peace of mind.
And the meat and potatoes ofthis work is all about quieting
(28:40):
your inner critic.
That mean negative Nancy thattalks to you and tells you that
joy is frivolous.
If you follow your joy orfollow your bliss, you won't get
things done.
You'll just become a blob orlay on a hammock eating bonbons
all day.
We're gonna address thoselimiting beliefs that come up,
that are shaping yourrelationships, that are
(29:03):
contributing to your anxiety andyour stress.
We're going to talk about howchanging that inner self-talk is
going to deepen your connectionwith yourself and with others,
and effective techniques you canuse to cultivate peace of mind
regardless of what is happeningaround you.
So again, join me Sunday,september 8th, at 3 PM.
(29:27):
It's going to be at my officein downtown Napa.
There's going to be a link inthe show notes to click and sign
up, and then I also have linkson my website at mrs-hardcom and
if you're looking to connect alittle sooner and if you're
listening to this podcast closeto when it comes out, leisha and
I are hosting Movement andMeditation Sunday, august 25th,
(29:51):
at 8.15am at the Garden Breweryin downtown Napa.
This is a one-hour workoutclass like no other, because the
lovely Leysha is gonna guide usthrough about a 40-minute body
weight workout and what thatmeans is that you just bring a
yoga mat and there'll bedifferent moves that will get
(30:12):
your heart rate up and also helpyou cultivate strength and
balance.
And then she is amazing.
She has modifications for anyage, any fitness level.
People have had injuries doreally well in her class and
she's really good at justcatering to you where you're at,
because the number one rule isthat we're here to have fun
(30:34):
during movement and meditationand to move safely, so that you
leave your workout class feelingenergized, with pep in your
step, not injured.
And then, after her 40 minuteish body weight workout, I'm
going to calm things down with aguided meditation and a short
(30:54):
talk that will help you bringtools into your meditation
practice and your life that willallow you to have more peaceful
relationships, less anxiety andreally just live a more
fulfilling, connected life.
So again, join us August 25th.
(31:14):
That's a Sunday, sunday, funday,8.15 in the morning, so that
you can do it before you do yourerrands and get yourself ready
for the week.
It's the perfect way to startyour Sunday and kick off the
week ahead, and so that'll be atthe Garden Brewery in downtown
Napa, and you can find a link inthe show notes to sign up.
(31:34):
You can also find that on myInstagram page and the bio, and
we look forward to seeing youthere.
And then, last but not least,if this episode resonates with
you and if you thought ofsomebody who might enjoy it as
well, send it to them.
(31:56):
Share it with them, because mymission is to help empower
others, and when you share mypodcast episodes with other
people, you're helping them ontheir life journey without you
really having to do much work atall or get too much into their
stuff.
You can just like send it tothem and then let go of the
(32:16):
outcome, like, hey, maybethey'll benefit, you know, maybe
they'll listen to it, maybe not, doesn't matter, you did your
part, you sent it to them, butthank you so much for being a
part of this community and forlistening in today.
I am so grateful to have youhere and I look forward to
connecting with you again soon.
Until next time, take care.
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