June 26, 2024 • 24 mins
If you have ever struggled with meditation, this is for YOU!
Sitting with your thoughts can be hard, and some people believe meditation is all about having a clear, thoughtless mind, in a totally serene environment, and feeling totally at peace within.
From my experience, that idea is a little unrealistic. Sometimes a meditation session is peaceful, but more often, your mind is all over the place, telling you not to forget to call your client back or reminding you of the GIANT list of to-dos waiting for you. Your mind tells you there definitely isn’t enough time in your day to get them all done, so why are you wasting time sitting here when you really don’t need to be meditating?
But here’s the thing: when you let go of meditation needing to be perfect and just make time for yourself, even if it’s just 5 minutes, the benefits are HUGE!
Meditation is a powerful tool that can help you reconnect with yourself, reduce anxiety, and improve your overall well-being. It’s a practice that brings your attention inward, helping you find a sense of peace and balance, no matter what’s happening around you. Even if your mind is busy during meditation, you will feel calmer afterward because you took the space to practice the art of pause, to practice letting the to-do list go, tuning into your breath, or listening to a guided meditation to go on a little spiritual adventure.
If you are like me, you like a little variety in life, so in my latest podcast episode, "Transformative Meditation Techniques for Stress Relief," we are going to explore different types of techniques and dive into why meditation works to reduce stress and how it can be a powerful tool for anxiety relief.
In this episode, you’ll hear about:
>> Easy-peasy meditation practices that fit seamlessly into your busy schedule—offering immediate tools for stress relief and emotional balance.
>> How meditation can enhance your mental clarity, emotional stability, and overall physical health.
>> The connection between meditation and better sleep.
>> Think you need a quiet mind to meditate? Tune in to learn how to practice mindfulness even amidst life's chaos.
Website: Mrs-Hard.com
Instagram: Mrs.Hard_TimesNoMore
Facebook: Mrs.Hard
Discover how to step off the chaos roller coaster and finally have peace of mind.
Sign up for my free 3-day coaching series—Stepping Off The Chaos Roller Coaster: 3 Simple Steps For Anxiety Relief
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, I'm Alessandra Tolome Hard, aka Mrs Hard, and
this is Hard Times no More, apodcast for people who are tired
of struggling with boundaries,people-pleasing and relationship
problems.
I have overcome some hard times.
Within three years, I stoppeddrinking, my mom died of cancer
and my house burnt down in aCalifornia wildfire, and those
(00:22):
are just the highlights.
I have a lot of reasons to bemiserable, but I'm not.
The truth is, life was morechallenging before these events
happened.
If you are tired of waiting foryour circumstances to change to
find happiness and peace ofmind, you are in the right place
.
Join me as I share the tools Iuse in love to transform
(00:43):
challenges into assets andinterview others about their
relationship journeys.
Together, let's learn how tohave a happy life full of
healthy, meaningfulrelationships, and say goodbye
to hard times for good.
Hey everyone, welcome to theHard Times no More Relationship
(01:04):
Podcast.
I'm Alessandra Ptolemy-Hard,aka Mrs Hard, your host.
Today we have a very specialepisode.
We're going to be talking aboutmeditation techniques for
stress relief.
Because, hey, who doesn't needsome tools to use to help them
with stress?
And meditation is my favoritetool and it's very simple.
(01:27):
You can do it anywhere and youcan really easily build it into
your day and take short breaksin your busy schedule to calm
your nervous system, toreconnect with yourself.
And this is especiallyimportant for caregivers,
because caregivers aren't onlydealing with their own emotions,
(01:47):
their own life challenges,their own day-to-day experiences
, but they're so connected tothose around them that other
people's highs and lows, lifechallenges and emotional states
often affect them, so that cancompound the stress that they
feel because of the attachmentthey feel to those they care for
(02:09):
or those that they love.
And so today I'm going to sharejust a couple of simple
meditation techniques with youthat you can use for stress
relief, and we're going to talkabout the different kinds of
meditation techniques there areand why they work, and then
you're going to be able todecide what kind of technique
works best for you.
So I'm going to tell you alittle bit about my meditation
(02:30):
journey.
I first started meditating whenI was 20 years old, and, like a
lot of things that happened inmy 20s, I jumped right in with
both feet, not reallyunderstanding what I was getting
myself into.
I was living in New Mexico andI was living with this group of
women that owned and operated atea house, and I was doing work
(02:53):
trade for my rent, living in ayurt and learning about
acupuncture and Chinese medicineand herbalism and all kinds of
holistic things, and I wouldactually pick herbs in the
garden that was right next tothe tea house that we all lived
at and worked at and I would drythose herbs and make teas for
(03:15):
customers from those herbs.
And people would come in.
They'd see all these jars oftea and they would be a little
bit overwhelmed, like, oh, whichone do I pick?
And I would just ask them howdo you want to feel and what do
you want it to taste like?
And then I would concoct theselittle blends for them.
It was really fun, very artistic, very free-flowing, and my
friend Nina, who is the mainowner of the tea shop, she told
(03:38):
me about Vipassana retreats,which are silent meditations
that usually last about seven to10 days, and she asked me if I
would like to go to a Vipassanaretreat with her.
And in my mind this was a breakfrom my life, it would be a
great time to just relax, and Isaid yes, because I always said
(04:00):
yes to new experiences, and itjust sounded exciting.
And then I got there and Ididn't understand that a
Vipassana retreat is veryintense.
It's not like normal meditation.
But what you do out of aVipassana retreat is you sit for
12 hours of meditation per day.
(04:21):
You start at five in themorning and you end at about 7
pm and there's a couple ofone-hour breaks throughout the
day.
And I'd never done meditationbefore and I felt all kinds of
emotions.
My mind was all over the placeand I only made it to day three
and then I was convinced that Ineeded to escape and get out of
(04:44):
there and I went crying to themeditation instructors asking
them if I could leave, as ifthey were going to hold me
captive against my own will.
And they said yes.
And it was so funny because myfriend Nina she was one of the
hosts there and she was onlydoing it for three days, but I
didn't know that one of thehosts there and she was only
(05:05):
doing it for three days, but Ididn't know that and as I was
leaving, she was leaving too andshe said go back, get back in
there.
And I said, no way, I gotta go,I gotta get out of here.
And she just thought it washilarious because this was this
is very on brand for Mrs Hart inher early twenties.
So we escaped the meditationretreat together and went to
(05:25):
visit some friends in ColoradoSprings and I remember my mind
being so quiet after I left themeditation retreat and being
able to observe people in such adifferent way, as if Whatever
they were feeling orexperiencing really had nothing
to do with me.
Because meditation providesthis space, this detachment from
(05:49):
what is going on with otherpeople.
It can provide space anddetachment from emotions that
come up within ourselves and itgives you time to pause and
reflect.
And I remember seeing someoneget very angry after this
meditation experience and theywere angry at me, but I could
see that they were justexperiencing anger and that it
(06:12):
really had nothing to do with me.
I can't remember the exactcircumstance that happened, but
I thought it was almost funnybecause I could just see them
all riled up in their emotionsand having this experience that
had really nothing to do with me.
And that's what I got frommeditating.
And after I left the retreat Iwould meditate for an hour every
(06:33):
day in the morning for maybe amonth or two and then I fell out
of it and in my 20s I would goin and out of times when I
meditated.
The last couple of years I'vehad a very strong morning
meditation practice and that hasserved me so well.
And it's kind of funny becauseevery single morning my mind
(06:54):
tries to convince me that Ireally don't need to meditate.
It tells me you're doing reallywell mentally, you don't need
to meditate, or you have so muchto do today you don't have time
to meditate, and there's avariety of other reasons it
offers to me, and when I firststarted a regular meditation
practice and committed to this acouple years ago, that voice
(07:16):
was a lot louder than it istoday.
When I go to sit for meditationand the type of meditation I do
changes depending on what'sgoing on in my life.
I really enjoy variety, so Idon't do the same meditation
practice for more than a coupleof weeks usually, but every
morning I have a system where Iwake up, I make coffee.
(07:37):
As soon as coffee is done, Idrink one cup and then I start
my meditation practice.
And so I don't have to tell youthat stress has a huge impact on
your mental health and yourphysical health.
You might find yourself waitingfor the other shoe to drop,
(07:57):
because life is alwayschallenging, or you may find
yourself wanting external thingsto change so that you can find
peace, and the stress you feelcauses a disconnect between you
and your true self and it canmake you believe that once you
get your to-do list done, onceeveryone else is okay, once
(08:18):
you've done whatever yourbrain's telling you you need to
do, then you'll feel better.
But meditation is really aboutpracticing tools that you can
use in stressful situations toquiet your mind ahead of time
and to create neural connectionsin your brain so that you're
not as reactive, so that you canfind a peaceful place within,
so that you're not waiting forexternal circumstances to change
(08:40):
for you to be able to findpeace, happiness, contentment,
acceptance, appreciation and joy.
So I highly recommendmeditation, like I said first
thing, in the morning, becausethat is a way that you are
putting yourself first, you'reputting your oxygen mask on
before helping others, and ifyou're a caregiver, then you
know as soon as you go into yourday people are going to have a
(09:03):
lot of stuff going on and it'sout of your control.
But what you can control is howyou feel, and in the morning,
doing just five minutes ofmeditation can make a huge
difference because you're takingtime to check in with yourself,
rather than running out thedoor with maybe only a cup of
coffee, the door with maybe onlya cup of coffee, maybe not even
(09:28):
eating breakfast, or just goinginto the day and allowing the
day to run your mood and youremotions, rather than taking
time to practice connecting withyourself and changing the way
you act and react to what comesup through your day.
So what is meditation?
And you probably already knowthis, but let's just get on the
same page.
Meditation is a practice whereyou use a technique such as
(09:50):
mindfulness to train yourattention and awareness and
achieve a mentally clear andemotionally calm and stable
state.
Key words emotionally calm andstable state.
Every time you sit down andcreate that for yourself, you
are building neurologicalpathways to that calm and stable
(10:13):
state.
So the likelihood that you willhave a more calm reaction when
something chaotic or challenginghappens in life becomes much
greater because you'repracticing that in meditation.
Just like when you go to thegym and you lift weights and you
get stronger, the same happenswhen you sit in meditation and
(10:33):
train your mind.
Your mind gets more calm, morestable and stronger in different
ways, and there are manydifferent kinds of meditation
practice, different ways, andthere are many different kinds
of meditation practice.
There's mindfulness meditation,where you focus intensely on
what you're sensing and feelingin the moment, without
interpretation or judgment, andso that's just breathing and
(10:57):
observing what thoughts come upand trying to come back to your
breath, like using your breathas an anchor and not judging
your thoughts, not needing tohave a perfectly clear mind.
That's what deters a lot ofpeople from meditation.
You may have thought beforethat to meditate properly, you
(11:18):
need to sit in a completelyquiet environment and you need
to have a completely quiet mind.
That's the goal right, wrong,or in my opinion, that's wrong.
In my opinion, it's more aboutobserving.
If you're going to do mindfulmeditation, it's observing what
(11:39):
thought patterns you're havingand then bringing your attention
back to your breath and notjudging them, because everyone
has thoughts.
Everyone who meditates hasthoughts.
There are very few people whocan keep their mind completely
clear for long periods of time,and if they can do that, it's
because they've been meditatingfor years, and so it's important
(12:03):
to not put a lot ofexpectations on yourself or to
hold some pretty high meditationstandards when you start,
because that can sabotage thepeace that can be cultivated
through meditation.
You don't want to turnmeditation into a stressful
event when you're trying tode-stress.
So, again, mindfulnessmeditation is just about
(12:25):
bringing your awareness back toyour breath over and over again
and not judging your experience,just treating your mind like a
child, having compassion for itand patience for it.
There's also a loving, kindnessmeditation called Metta, and
that involves focusing on lovingthoughts towards yourself and
(12:46):
others, and so some people thinkabout a mantra when they're
doing this, or a positiveaffirmation, and they'll repeat
it over and over again and justfocus on that positive
affirmation or that lovingthought.
Other types of meditation thatI've experienced have been
focusing on a feeling andremembering when you felt the
(13:07):
most love you've ever felt inyour life.
And when you do that duringmeditation, when you tap into a
positive feeling and you reallytry to embody that feeling
rather than just thinking aboutit, your nervous system believes
that that is actually happeningfor you, and so that is a very
simple way to raise your energylevel within just like five or
(13:29):
10 minutes and to shift yourperspective, and all it takes is
sitting in your car, sitting inyour office, sitting at home
when you're starting your day,and quieting your mind, focusing
on your breath and thenremembering feelings of love,
times that you felt loved, timesthat you felt safe, stable,
(13:51):
secure, healthy, and relivingthose experiences as an embodied
experience, not just thinkingabout them.
And how you can tell thedifference between just thinking
about them and feeling them isif it creates an emotional
reaction.
When you have an emotionalreaction, your body's really
truly experiencing that on asubconscious level.
(14:13):
And then there are body scanmeditations, where you scan your
body and pay attention tovarious parts and sensations
that may be coming up.
When I did this Vipassanameditation retreat, we first
started with the breath, justbringing our awareness back to
our breath, and then the nextday the next level of this type
(14:36):
of meditation was doing a bodyscan and just noticing what
sensations came up.
And again, not judging what wascoming up, but just noticing it
and being aware of it andcreating that space that
meditation can offer, that pause, that peace.
And, like I said, there's manydifferent types of meditation
(14:56):
and I don't think there are verymany wrong ways to meditate.
I had a meditation teacher oncewho said the only way you could
feel that meditation is just bynot doing it, and the best part
about using meditation forstress relief is that it's
always accessible.
It's something that you cantake with you anywhere.
So there are a ton of benefitsto meditation.
(15:18):
Meditation can help reduce yourstress and anxiety.
It can enhance self-awarenessand connection with yourself,
because when you sit withyourself, you're subconsciously
telling yourself that you'reenough and that you're a
priority that needs to befocused on.
Meditation can also lengthenyour attention span.
It can reduce age-relatedmemory loss.
(15:40):
It can generate kindness,especially if you're practicing
metta meditation, and it canimprove sleep.
And there are also specialmeditation techniques that can
help you control pain.
And it's funny.
I was at an appointment and thiswoman asked me what I do and I
told her I help people relieveanxiety and overcome life
(16:02):
challenges.
And she said, oh my gosh, Ihave so much anxiety.
And I said, oh, tell me aboutit.
And she said at night I havethe hardest time sleeping and I
listen to these guidedmeditations at night.
And I suggested that she startdoing the same thing in the
morning listening to guidedmeditations in the morning and
she said, oh my gosh, mymornings are so stressful.
(16:22):
I roll out of bed and I juststart going, and she's a
caregiver and taking that timefor yourself, taking that time
to ground yourself in themorning sets you up for the rest
of the day and can set upbetter sleeping habits at night
because you're connecting withyourself, you're grounding
yourself first thing in themorning and that's going to set
(16:43):
you up for a more calm day andso that you don't have to wait
till the nighttime when youcan't sleep and you're listening
to guided meditations justhoping that you're going to get
to sleep, really start with theintention in the morning of
calming yourself and see how itimpacts the rest of your day.
And meditation has also beenlinked to improved emotional
health, such as promoting a morepositive outlook on life and
(17:07):
improving emotional stability.
I don't know about you, butthat's a thing that I have
looked for in meditation.
Is that emotional stability.
And again, that comes from thatpause that we can take because
we're practicing, pausing andjust noticing and not reacting
when we sit down to meditate.
And there are some scientificstudies that have shown that
(17:28):
meditation can change thebrain's neural pathways, like I
mentioned, making you moreresilient to stress.
Meditation has also beenassociated with increased gray
matter in the brain, which isinvolved in muscle control and
sensory perception, such asseeing and hearing, and this is
sourced from the Mayo Clinic andNational Center for
(17:50):
Complementary and IntegrativeHealth.
In your brains, neural pathwaysare so important because that's
what's running your subconscious, that's what's running your
behaviors and that's coming fromwhat you practice daily.
So it's super simple toincorporate meditation into your
daily life.
Don't listen to your mind ifit's telling you it's not.
(18:10):
Just.
Start by waking up five minutesearlier and you can have your
cup of coffee first.
I prefer to do that becausethen I feel like my coffee's
kicking in as I'm meditating.
But take that time for yourselffirst thing in the morning and
then use meditation if you findyourself stressed out or super
(18:31):
fatigued after lunch.
It's a way to disconnect andrecharge and reconnect with
yourself.
Some people, like myself, liketo have a special place that
they meditate in their house.
I go to the same place everymorning and that also helps
neurologically because it tellsmy body and my brain okay, this
is what we're doing, we'remeditating now and having the
(18:54):
same routine every morning ofcoffee.
Then meditation makes it easierbecause I've built pathways
that this is what we do, this iswhat feels normal, and taking
that time to meditate in themorning, I'm checking in with
myself, connecting with myself,putting myself first and caring
for myself before I go into theworld and care for others.
(19:15):
And meditation is in a one anddone.
It's just like working out.
You know you can't go into thegym, lift some weights and then
you're strong forever.
That continual practice,practicing tools during
meditation in the morning, iswhat will give you more and more
peace the longer you practiceit.
And meditation is great whencombined with journaling.
(19:36):
If your mind is really busy,take time to journal for five
minutes before and that is a wayyou can decompress what your
mind is trying to figure out orwhat your mind is telling you.
You can release it on paper andlet it go.
It can help you sit inmeditation with more peace.
And meditation combined withmoving your body can also be an
(19:59):
amazing tool.
For example, walking meditation.
If you have a hard time sitting, if you just feel too restless,
go for a walk and try to focuson your breath while you're
walking.
Focus on the feeling of yourfeet hitting the ground as you
walk and you can find that sameintentional peace, that same
intentional pause while moving.
(20:21):
And I have a super special freeanxiety relief meditation.
That's part of my Stepping Offthe Chaos Rollercoaster Three
Simple Steps for Anxiety Relieffreebie.
You can find the link to thatin the show notes and you can
find it on my website, on myInstagram and in that free
offering.
I offer three simple practicesthat you can use for anxiety
(20:46):
relief and on day one you getthe anxiety relief meditation.
Because I like to switch it upbetween silence and guided
meditations.
Sometimes I enjoy the stillsilence of tuning into my body,
and sometimes I like the journeythat a guided meditation takes
you on and I can feel like I'mjust along for the ride and
(21:09):
receiving the benefits ofmeditation while listening to
somebody guide me through it.
It's like a little adventure,and so, out of the different
techniques and practices wetalked about today, I encourage
you to try one.
You can research more aboutthem by looking up meta
meditations online on YouTube.
(21:31):
There's a ton of metameditations.
You could also just practicemindfulness.
You can try out each one andsee which one resonates most
with you.
Just follow whatever one iseasiest for you to do.
It's just about taking thatspace for yourself and learning
to take a pause so that, whenthe unexpected happens, that you
(21:52):
can find peace and stabilitywithin instead of needing people
, places and things to bedifferent than they are, so that
you can experience peace andstability.
All right, that's all I've gotfor today.
Thanks so much for hanging outwith me and I'll talk to you
soon.
Until next time, take care.
Hi, I'm Alessandra Tolome Hard, aka Mrs Hard, and
this is Hard Times no More, apodcast for people who are tired
of struggling with boundaries,people-pleasing and relationship
problems.
I have overcome some hard times.
Within three years, I stoppeddrinking, my mom died of cancer
and my house burnt down in aCalifornia wildfire, and those
(00:22):
are just the highlights.
I have a lot of reasons to bemiserable, but I'm not.
The truth is, life was morechallenging before these events
happened.
If you are tired of waiting foryour circumstances to change to
find happiness and peace ofmind, you are in the right place
.
Join me as I share the tools Iuse in love to transform
(00:43):
challenges into assets andinterview others about their
relationship journeys.
Together, let's learn how tohave a happy life full of
healthy, meaningfulrelationships, and say goodbye
to hard times for good.
Hey everyone, welcome to theHard Times no More Relationship
(01:04):
Podcast.
I'm Alessandra Ptolemy-Hard,aka Mrs Hard, your host.
Today we have a very specialepisode.
We're going to be talking aboutmeditation techniques for
stress relief.
Because, hey, who doesn't needsome tools to use to help them
with stress?
And meditation is my favoritetool and it's very simple.
(01:27):
You can do it anywhere and youcan really easily build it into
your day and take short breaksin your busy schedule to calm
your nervous system, toreconnect with yourself.
And this is especiallyimportant for caregivers,
because caregivers aren't onlydealing with their own emotions,
(01:47):
their own life challenges,their own day-to-day experiences
, but they're so connected tothose around them that other
people's highs and lows, lifechallenges and emotional states
often affect them, so that cancompound the stress that they
feel because of the attachmentthey feel to those they care for
(02:09):
or those that they love.
And so today I'm going to sharejust a couple of simple
meditation techniques with youthat you can use for stress
relief, and we're going to talkabout the different kinds of
meditation techniques there areand why they work, and then
you're going to be able todecide what kind of technique
works best for you.
So I'm going to tell you alittle bit about my meditation
(02:30):
journey.
I first started meditating whenI was 20 years old, and, like a
lot of things that happened inmy 20s, I jumped right in with
both feet, not reallyunderstanding what I was getting
myself into.
I was living in New Mexico andI was living with this group of
women that owned and operated atea house, and I was doing work
(02:53):
trade for my rent, living in ayurt and learning about
acupuncture and Chinese medicineand herbalism and all kinds of
holistic things, and I wouldactually pick herbs in the
garden that was right next tothe tea house that we all lived
at and worked at and I would drythose herbs and make teas for
(03:15):
customers from those herbs.
And people would come in.
They'd see all these jars oftea and they would be a little
bit overwhelmed, like, oh, whichone do I pick?
And I would just ask them howdo you want to feel and what do
you want it to taste like?
And then I would concoct theselittle blends for them.
It was really fun, very artistic, very free-flowing, and my
friend Nina, who is the mainowner of the tea shop, she told
(03:38):
me about Vipassana retreats,which are silent meditations
that usually last about seven to10 days, and she asked me if I
would like to go to a Vipassanaretreat with her.
And in my mind this was a breakfrom my life, it would be a
great time to just relax, and Isaid yes, because I always said
(04:00):
yes to new experiences, and itjust sounded exciting.
And then I got there and Ididn't understand that a
Vipassana retreat is veryintense.
It's not like normal meditation.
But what you do out of aVipassana retreat is you sit for
12 hours of meditation per day.
(04:21):
You start at five in themorning and you end at about 7
pm and there's a couple ofone-hour breaks throughout the
day.
And I'd never done meditationbefore and I felt all kinds of
emotions.
My mind was all over the placeand I only made it to day three
and then I was convinced that Ineeded to escape and get out of
(04:44):
there and I went crying to themeditation instructors asking
them if I could leave, as ifthey were going to hold me
captive against my own will.
And they said yes.
And it was so funny because myfriend Nina she was one of the
hosts there and she was onlydoing it for three days, but I
didn't know that one of thehosts there and she was only
(05:05):
doing it for three days, but Ididn't know that and as I was
leaving, she was leaving too andshe said go back, get back in
there.
And I said, no way, I gotta go,I gotta get out of here.
And she just thought it washilarious because this was this
is very on brand for Mrs Hart inher early twenties.
So we escaped the meditationretreat together and went to
(05:25):
visit some friends in ColoradoSprings and I remember my mind
being so quiet after I left themeditation retreat and being
able to observe people in such adifferent way, as if Whatever
they were feeling orexperiencing really had nothing
to do with me.
Because meditation providesthis space, this detachment from
(05:49):
what is going on with otherpeople.
It can provide space anddetachment from emotions that
come up within ourselves and itgives you time to pause and
reflect.
And I remember seeing someoneget very angry after this
meditation experience and theywere angry at me, but I could
see that they were justexperiencing anger and that it
(06:12):
really had nothing to do with me.
I can't remember the exactcircumstance that happened, but
I thought it was almost funnybecause I could just see them
all riled up in their emotionsand having this experience that
had really nothing to do with me.
And that's what I got frommeditating.
And after I left the retreat Iwould meditate for an hour every
(06:33):
day in the morning for maybe amonth or two and then I fell out
of it and in my 20s I would goin and out of times when I
meditated.
The last couple of years I'vehad a very strong morning
meditation practice and that hasserved me so well.
And it's kind of funny becauseevery single morning my mind
(06:54):
tries to convince me that Ireally don't need to meditate.
It tells me you're doing reallywell mentally, you don't need
to meditate, or you have so muchto do today you don't have time
to meditate, and there's avariety of other reasons it
offers to me, and when I firststarted a regular meditation
practice and committed to this acouple years ago, that voice
(07:16):
was a lot louder than it istoday.
When I go to sit for meditationand the type of meditation I do
changes depending on what'sgoing on in my life.
I really enjoy variety, so Idon't do the same meditation
practice for more than a coupleof weeks usually, but every
morning I have a system where Iwake up, I make coffee.
(07:37):
As soon as coffee is done, Idrink one cup and then I start
my meditation practice.
And so I don't have to tell youthat stress has a huge impact on
your mental health and yourphysical health.
You might find yourself waitingfor the other shoe to drop,
(07:57):
because life is alwayschallenging, or you may find
yourself wanting external thingsto change so that you can find
peace, and the stress you feelcauses a disconnect between you
and your true self and it canmake you believe that once you
get your to-do list done, onceeveryone else is okay, once
(08:18):
you've done whatever yourbrain's telling you you need to
do, then you'll feel better.
But meditation is really aboutpracticing tools that you can
use in stressful situations toquiet your mind ahead of time
and to create neural connectionsin your brain so that you're
not as reactive, so that you canfind a peaceful place within,
so that you're not waiting forexternal circumstances to change
(08:40):
for you to be able to findpeace, happiness, contentment,
acceptance, appreciation and joy.
So I highly recommendmeditation, like I said first
thing, in the morning, becausethat is a way that you are
putting yourself first, you'reputting your oxygen mask on
before helping others, and ifyou're a caregiver, then you
know as soon as you go into yourday people are going to have a
(09:03):
lot of stuff going on and it'sout of your control.
But what you can control is howyou feel, and in the morning,
doing just five minutes ofmeditation can make a huge
difference because you're takingtime to check in with yourself,
rather than running out thedoor with maybe only a cup of
coffee, the door with maybe onlya cup of coffee, maybe not even
(09:28):
eating breakfast, or just goinginto the day and allowing the
day to run your mood and youremotions, rather than taking
time to practice connecting withyourself and changing the way
you act and react to what comesup through your day.
So what is meditation?
And you probably already knowthis, but let's just get on the
same page.
Meditation is a practice whereyou use a technique such as
(09:50):
mindfulness to train yourattention and awareness and
achieve a mentally clear andemotionally calm and stable
state.
Key words emotionally calm andstable state.
Every time you sit down andcreate that for yourself, you
are building neurologicalpathways to that calm and stable
(10:13):
state.
So the likelihood that you willhave a more calm reaction when
something chaotic or challenginghappens in life becomes much
greater because you'repracticing that in meditation.
Just like when you go to thegym and you lift weights and you
get stronger, the same happenswhen you sit in meditation and
(10:33):
train your mind.
Your mind gets more calm, morestable and stronger in different
ways, and there are manydifferent kinds of meditation
practice, different ways, andthere are many different kinds
of meditation practice.
There's mindfulness meditation,where you focus intensely on
what you're sensing and feelingin the moment, without
interpretation or judgment, andso that's just breathing and
(10:57):
observing what thoughts come upand trying to come back to your
breath, like using your breathas an anchor and not judging
your thoughts, not needing tohave a perfectly clear mind.
That's what deters a lot ofpeople from meditation.
You may have thought beforethat to meditate properly, you
(11:18):
need to sit in a completelyquiet environment and you need
to have a completely quiet mind.
That's the goal right, wrong,or in my opinion, that's wrong.
In my opinion, it's more aboutobserving.
If you're going to do mindfulmeditation, it's observing what
(11:39):
thought patterns you're havingand then bringing your attention
back to your breath and notjudging them, because everyone
has thoughts.
Everyone who meditates hasthoughts.
There are very few people whocan keep their mind completely
clear for long periods of time,and if they can do that, it's
because they've been meditatingfor years, and so it's important
(12:03):
to not put a lot ofexpectations on yourself or to
hold some pretty high meditationstandards when you start,
because that can sabotage thepeace that can be cultivated
through meditation.
You don't want to turnmeditation into a stressful
event when you're trying tode-stress.
So, again, mindfulnessmeditation is just about
(12:25):
bringing your awareness back toyour breath over and over again
and not judging your experience,just treating your mind like a
child, having compassion for itand patience for it.
There's also a loving, kindnessmeditation called Metta, and
that involves focusing on lovingthoughts towards yourself and
(12:46):
others, and so some people thinkabout a mantra when they're
doing this, or a positiveaffirmation, and they'll repeat
it over and over again and justfocus on that positive
affirmation or that lovingthought.
Other types of meditation thatI've experienced have been
focusing on a feeling andremembering when you felt the
(13:07):
most love you've ever felt inyour life.
And when you do that duringmeditation, when you tap into a
positive feeling and you reallytry to embody that feeling
rather than just thinking aboutit, your nervous system believes
that that is actually happeningfor you, and so that is a very
simple way to raise your energylevel within just like five or
(13:29):
10 minutes and to shift yourperspective, and all it takes is
sitting in your car, sitting inyour office, sitting at home
when you're starting your day,and quieting your mind, focusing
on your breath and thenremembering feelings of love,
times that you felt loved, timesthat you felt safe, stable,
(13:51):
secure, healthy, and relivingthose experiences as an embodied
experience, not just thinkingabout them.
And how you can tell thedifference between just thinking
about them and feeling them isif it creates an emotional
reaction.
When you have an emotionalreaction, your body's really
truly experiencing that on asubconscious level.
(14:13):
And then there are body scanmeditations, where you scan your
body and pay attention tovarious parts and sensations
that may be coming up.
When I did this Vipassanameditation retreat, we first
started with the breath, justbringing our awareness back to
our breath, and then the nextday the next level of this type
(14:36):
of meditation was doing a bodyscan and just noticing what
sensations came up.
And again, not judging what wascoming up, but just noticing it
and being aware of it andcreating that space that
meditation can offer, that pause, that peace.
And, like I said, there's manydifferent types of meditation
(14:56):
and I don't think there are verymany wrong ways to meditate.
I had a meditation teacher oncewho said the only way you could
feel that meditation is just bynot doing it, and the best part
about using meditation forstress relief is that it's
always accessible.
It's something that you cantake with you anywhere.
So there are a ton of benefitsto meditation.
(15:18):
Meditation can help reduce yourstress and anxiety.
It can enhance self-awarenessand connection with yourself,
because when you sit withyourself, you're subconsciously
telling yourself that you'reenough and that you're a
priority that needs to befocused on.
Meditation can also lengthenyour attention span.
It can reduce age-relatedmemory loss.
(15:40):
It can generate kindness,especially if you're practicing
metta meditation, and it canimprove sleep.
And there are also specialmeditation techniques that can
help you control pain.
And it's funny.
I was at an appointment and thiswoman asked me what I do and I
told her I help people relieveanxiety and overcome life
(16:02):
challenges.
And she said, oh my gosh, Ihave so much anxiety.
And I said, oh, tell me aboutit.
And she said at night I havethe hardest time sleeping and I
listen to these guidedmeditations at night.
And I suggested that she startdoing the same thing in the
morning listening to guidedmeditations in the morning and
she said, oh my gosh, mymornings are so stressful.
(16:22):
I roll out of bed and I juststart going, and she's a
caregiver and taking that timefor yourself, taking that time
to ground yourself in themorning sets you up for the rest
of the day and can set upbetter sleeping habits at night
because you're connecting withyourself, you're grounding
yourself first thing in themorning and that's going to set
(16:43):
you up for a more calm day andso that you don't have to wait
till the nighttime when youcan't sleep and you're listening
to guided meditations justhoping that you're going to get
to sleep, really start with theintention in the morning of
calming yourself and see how itimpacts the rest of your day.
And meditation has also beenlinked to improved emotional
health, such as promoting a morepositive outlook on life and
(17:07):
improving emotional stability.
I don't know about you, butthat's a thing that I have
looked for in meditation.
Is that emotional stability.
And again, that comes from thatpause that we can take because
we're practicing, pausing andjust noticing and not reacting
when we sit down to meditate.
And there are some scientificstudies that have shown that
(17:28):
meditation can change thebrain's neural pathways, like I
mentioned, making you moreresilient to stress.
Meditation has also beenassociated with increased gray
matter in the brain, which isinvolved in muscle control and
sensory perception, such asseeing and hearing, and this is
sourced from the Mayo Clinic andNational Center for
(17:50):
Complementary and IntegrativeHealth.
In your brains, neural pathwaysare so important because that's
what's running your subconscious, that's what's running your
behaviors and that's coming fromwhat you practice daily.
So it's super simple toincorporate meditation into your
daily life.
Don't listen to your mind ifit's telling you it's not.
(18:10):
Just.
Start by waking up five minutesearlier and you can have your
cup of coffee first.
I prefer to do that becausethen I feel like my coffee's
kicking in as I'm meditating.
But take that time for yourselffirst thing in the morning and
then use meditation if you findyourself stressed out or super
(18:31):
fatigued after lunch.
It's a way to disconnect andrecharge and reconnect with
yourself.
Some people, like myself, liketo have a special place that
they meditate in their house.
I go to the same place everymorning and that also helps
neurologically because it tellsmy body and my brain okay, this
is what we're doing, we'remeditating now and having the
(18:54):
same routine every morning ofcoffee.
Then meditation makes it easierbecause I've built pathways
that this is what we do, this iswhat feels normal, and taking
that time to meditate in themorning, I'm checking in with
myself, connecting with myself,putting myself first and caring
for myself before I go into theworld and care for others.
(19:15):
And meditation is in a one anddone.
It's just like working out.
You know you can't go into thegym, lift some weights and then
you're strong forever.
That continual practice,practicing tools during
meditation in the morning, iswhat will give you more and more
peace the longer you practiceit.
And meditation is great whencombined with journaling.
(19:36):
If your mind is really busy,take time to journal for five
minutes before and that is a wayyou can decompress what your
mind is trying to figure out orwhat your mind is telling you.
You can release it on paper andlet it go.
It can help you sit inmeditation with more peace.
And meditation combined withmoving your body can also be an
(19:59):
amazing tool.
For example, walking meditation.
If you have a hard time sitting, if you just feel too restless,
go for a walk and try to focuson your breath while you're
walking.
Focus on the feeling of yourfeet hitting the ground as you
walk and you can find that sameintentional peace, that same
intentional pause while moving.
(20:21):
And I have a super special freeanxiety relief meditation.
That's part of my Stepping Offthe Chaos Rollercoaster Three
Simple Steps for Anxiety Relieffreebie.
You can find the link to thatin the show notes and you can
find it on my website, on myInstagram and in that free
offering.
I offer three simple practicesthat you can use for anxiety
(20:46):
relief and on day one you getthe anxiety relief meditation.
Because I like to switch it upbetween silence and guided
meditations.
Sometimes I enjoy the stillsilence of tuning into my body,
and sometimes I like the journeythat a guided meditation takes
you on and I can feel like I'mjust along for the ride and
(21:09):
receiving the benefits ofmeditation while listening to
somebody guide me through it.
It's like a little adventure,and so, out of the different
techniques and practices wetalked about today, I encourage
you to try one.
You can research more aboutthem by looking up meta
meditations online on YouTube.
(21:31):
There's a ton of metameditations.
You could also just practicemindfulness.
You can try out each one andsee which one resonates most
with you.
Just follow whatever one iseasiest for you to do.
It's just about taking thatspace for yourself and learning
to take a pause so that, whenthe unexpected happens, that you
(21:52):
can find peace and stabilitywithin instead of needing people
, places and things to bedifferent than they are, so that
you can experience peace andstability.
All right, that's all I've gotfor today.
Thanks so much for hanging outwith me and I'll talk to you
soon.
Until next time, take care.
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