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June 11, 2025 122 mins

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Adventure films are a delicate balance of charm, wonder, and heart—which is why "Fountain of Youth" is such a fascinating disappointment to dissect. What should have been a thrilling revival of a beloved genre instead becomes a masterclass in missed opportunities.

The frustration comes not from the film being terrible (we've seen worse), but from how tantalizingly close it comes to greatness before veering off course. With John Krasinski, Natalie Portman, and stunning locations around the world, all the ingredients were there. Yet something vital is missing: soul.

Great adventure protagonists care deeply about something—Indiana Jones respects artifacts even while stealing them, Benjamin Gates in National Treasure risks everything to protect historical treasures while pursuing them. Krasinski's Luke, by contrast, moves through the story with curious detachment, displaying impressive combat skills without explanation and making quips that never land with the intended charm.

The supporting cast fares no better, with potentially interesting characters reduced to exposition machines. The chemistry between leads is nonexistent despite the script insisting otherwise. Even the central mystery—the Fountain of Youth itself—operates on confusing, inconsistent rules that change to serve the plot rather than create a coherent mythology.

What makes this analysis worthwhile is recognizing how "Fountain of Youth" illuminates exactly what makes adventure films work by doing the opposite. It's a reminder that spectacle without heart falls flat, that heroes need vulnerability alongside capability, and that audiences want to feel wonder alongside the characters discovering ancient secrets.

If you love adventure cinema and want to understand why some attempts work brilliantly while others fail, join us for this deep dive into a film that might just kill the genre it hoped to revitalize. Subscribe, share your thoughts in the comments, and let us know what adventure classics you'd recommend instead!


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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
In my defense, this is the darkest timeline, so
really everyone was born in thewrong time right now, it's not
going well.
It is not going well, that iscorrect.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
It's like I grew up with the atomic bomb.
Yeah, we got over it.
I'm like, okay, it's goingpretty good, that's great.
You might be wishing for theatomic bomb about now.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
I miss those days Wow .

Speaker 2 (00:29):
I missed.
Stop, drop and duck, duckundercover.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
And that's how you hid from bombs.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
Yes, you would crawl under your desk.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
Okay, they know that's not going to work, right?
Even then they had to know thatthat wasn't going to work.
You've got to give us somethingthat's called a false sense of
security.
Dan, I'm glad you fell for it.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
Oh, no, no, no.
None of us thought that we weregoing to.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
Even then you were like this is pretty dumb right.
I guess we'll do it, but it'snot going to stop a bomb.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
Oh, yeah, no like my entire childhood was living in
fear of the atomic bomb.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
Well, couldn't you just crawl into a refrigerator?
You know Indiana Jones?
Hey, watch it with Dan.
And Tony.

Speaker 2 (01:31):
Hey, watch it with Dan and Tony.
I'm Dan.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
And I'm Tony.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
On this show.
We watch a movie, then we talkabout the movie.
It's as simple as that.
We'll make it more complex.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
It's as simple as that.
It We'll make it more complex.
It's as simple as that, and yetit usually takes Dan three to
five minutes to describe what wedo at the top of the show.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
No, I've been getting better.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
Tony, you're right, I know I'm sorry, I'm being harsh
today.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
We look for terrible movies and you know what?
Most of the times, we find them.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
We find them.
We find them, we're looking.
You don't have to look veryhard.
That's the whole thing aboutHollywood in this show.
You don't have to look veryhard.
They pretty much just presentthem to you on a silver platter.

Speaker 2 (02:14):
You like see the trailer and you're like, oh,
we're going to be watching thatfor the show.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
I fell for this one hard, because this is right in
my wheelhouse.
These are some of my favoritemovies of all time.
Like this genre is is myfavorite second favorite, maybe
to horror, but probably close tomy favorite.
And um boy, did they doeverything wrong, every,
everything, every single.
It's like they've never seen anadventure movie in their lives.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
I do not know the bad girls or the adversarial girl's
name.
I never caught her name.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
You mean in the movie ?

Speaker 2 (02:53):
In the movie.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 2 (02:55):
Her real name's Iza, something, something she's been
in a number of things I've seen.

Speaker 1 (03:03):
Have you seen Ambulance yet?
Did I talk about that?
Is Ambulance, michael Bay Isthat the movie that's Well, you
should watch it.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
That, like I haven't seen the Scorsese one, there's a
Scorsese one with.
No, it's not Scorsese what'shis name With the Prince of
Persia.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
Oh really, yeah, what is that?
I don't know.
I don't know what that is.

Speaker 2 (03:29):
Okay, you're saying the Michael Bay directed
Ambulance and it's pretty fun.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
It's pretty fun, yeah , also with Jake Gyllenhaal, of
course, and also this lady.

Speaker 2 (03:42):
It is Jake Gyllenhaal .
Yes.

Speaker 1 (03:46):
It's Jake Gyllenhaal and one other guy Whose name I
can't remember.
Yeah, it's great.
Great is a bit of anexaggeration, but it's a very
fun action movie.
It's like all shot on dronesand stuff, so there's some
really cool stuff that they areable to do.
It's Michael Bay, so it's stilla little Bayish, but it's the
more Grounded of the Bay films.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
Oh, okay, I think I tried to watch Domino at one
point.
Domino, sure, that one was justvery rough, very very, very
hard Very hard and I just havenot really gone back to Bay
since I've been like I don'tknow.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
Yeah, I think that's fine.
I like to give people extrachances for no reason.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
Tony, what movie are we watching?

Speaker 1 (04:31):
We are watching the Apple TV Plus Disappointment,
fountain of Youth 2025, twohours and seven minutes.
Too long.

Speaker 2 (04:43):
National Treasure.
I believe it was two hours 11minutes, I think.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
Yeah, something like that.
Yeah, and you know what?
That movie?
Not too long, because that isvery possible to make a movie
that does make use of the timeyou give it.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
Of his adversaries.
In the National Treasure moviedoes he beat the shit out of or
shoot with a gun?

Speaker 1 (05:08):
I don't, I don't remember anyone dying.
I'm sure they do.
But it's not it's not like thisthough, right?
Well, because I mean, sean Beanis the adversary, right?
Yes, starts as a starts as afriend becomes the adversary,

(05:30):
and I'm sure there are goonsthat, at the end, probably don't
make it out of that final cave.
Yeah, like I'm sure people die,similar to how they did on the
staircase in this movie.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
People definitely fall to their death in that
staircase at the InternationalTreasure.
I mean I can't swear to that,but as I remember, no, no, that
for sure happens.

Speaker 1 (05:43):
That staircase is very dangerous I don't think we
take out a giant uh gatling gunor whatever the hell this thing
is, and just mow people down.
That I don't believe happensokay, I'm just.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
I haven't seen that stretch a while, I just wanted
to to calibrate to make sure mymemory of it was Nicolas Cage's
main skill, wasn't?

Speaker 1 (06:06):
beating up hired killers.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
Having the skills to beat the shit out of hired
killers.

Speaker 1 (06:12):
No, there are gunshots, but I would wager I
should really watch this movieagain.
I don't think Nick wields a gun.
I think the bad guys do andkind of shoot, because the whole
point of that movie is he'sstaying one step ahead of them.

Speaker 2 (06:29):
He's dodging the bullets.

Speaker 1 (06:30):
Yeah, he's not like, oh, I'm going to stand and fight
and murder y'all.
I don't think so.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
Come on, Sean Bean, I'm going to kick the shit out
of you because I'm the greatestkickboxer fighter in the world.

Speaker 1 (06:43):
No yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
Spoilers.
These are things that happen inthis movie.

Speaker 1 (06:53):
I'm going to try to look it up.
Is this possible to look up Anational treasure?
Nicolas Cage's character,Benjamin Franklin Gates, doesn't
explicitly kill anyone.
Okay.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
There you go, explicitly kill anyone.
Okay, there you go.
I mean not that what's his nameexplicitly kills anyone, but he
certainly makes it.
So people are dying around himfairly regularly and no one
cares at all.

Speaker 1 (07:18):
There's the scene when they float the boat, the
sub or whatever.
At one point they're justfiring machine guns willy-nilly,
they crash a helicopter.
I mean that's ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (07:29):
They didn't crash a helicopter.
I mean, they shot thehelicopter.
We're hit, we're hit, I guesswe're going to have to go back
to base and we have just enoughpower and energy Right, because
we have plenty of time to flyover the ocean for ten minutes?

Speaker 1 (07:41):
I don't know, I don't know I can't, I don't
understand how helicopters work,but it's still silly.
They're fine when you shootthem like for 10 to 15 minutes,
you know what I mean.
Then they gotta sit down, yougotta patch the hole, that's all
that happens.

Speaker 2 (07:56):
You gotta weld it shut whip out some insta weld
and a little duct tape.

Speaker 1 (08:02):
Fine little gaff tape goes a long way Because they're
on a movie set.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
Nailed it, so this movie.

Speaker 1 (08:11):
Is bad.
Thanks for coming by everybody.
So this I was talking to thewife and it's not the worst
movie we've seen.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
In a while.

Speaker 1 (08:26):
But it is, to me, the most frustrating movie because
of all of the wasted potentialand terrible choices, that a
movie that should be great and Ishould love and should
revitalize this genre that'sbeen dormant for 20 years, is
gonna do the opposite.
People are gonna look at thisand be like I guess we can't
make movies like that anymorebecause nobody likes them.

(08:46):
And no, no, no, no.
You made a shitty movie andnobody liked it.
That's what happens.
Try again.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
They really.
You know, I'm thinking of themovies we've done.
We did Uncharted.

Speaker 1 (08:58):
Uncharted yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:06):
Which you know it's, and we didn't do the gray man
but the gray man's sort of inthe same sort of place, and
they're just sort ofwrong-headed movies that just
they don't understand what thegenre is.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
No and that's weird.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
It's not that confusing.
I wouldn't think so you throwsome people that are in
semi-conflict together and thenin the first act you do that.
You throw them together in thefirst act or the beginning of
the second act and you have yourteam assembled.
Then they act as a team toovercome a bunch of issues.

Speaker 1 (09:46):
Hopefully multiple, like what would you call it like
solving multiple clues.
I feel like this movie theysolve one clue did they solve a
clue?
Well, the kid solved the oneclue the kid solved.

Speaker 2 (09:57):
The kid did two things and they did nothing.
I looked at the poster of thismovie.
Maybe after I watched maybe 10minutes of, I looked at the
poster of this movie.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (10:05):
You know, maybe after I'd watched you know maybe 10
minutes of it, I looked at theposter and I'm like holy shit,
her kid is coming along on theadventure.

Speaker 1 (10:14):
On this crazy adventure, yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
And I say to myself oh, okay.
The only reason this kid iscoming along is because we're
going to shoot him at the end,and then we're going to shoot
him at the end, and then we'regoing to have to use the
fountain of youth to save him.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
This is going to be the whole thing To be.
Let me be very clear.
I assumed the ending would bethe same, except for we're not
shooting a child, Dan, becausethat is crazy.

Speaker 2 (10:39):
They just bring me on .

Speaker 1 (10:40):
I'm like die I thought they were going to shoot
Natalie Portman because she'sthe one that's like I don't want
to do this, I don't want to behere.
When, when, west, then youshoot her and then krasinski has
to like, choose her over theriches.
That's what I thought was gonnahappen.

Speaker 2 (10:57):
Why is there a child there?
You, if you're not gonna shootthe child, I?

Speaker 1 (11:01):
thought the child being there was a bad decision
from jump street, like I didn'tthink they should have ever
brought the kid along, exceptfor the fact that the kid and
the redhead were the onlyinteresting characters on that
journey.
When they have that scene inthe cafe, I was like, okay, I
would follow this movie, likethis odd couple of the smart-ass

(11:22):
kid and the rich idiot.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
Like oh boy, oh boy, this is bad movie well, we'll
talk about that scene when weget to it, because sure, that
scene is a scene from a.
It's a scene from a differentmovie correct.
Yeah, it's not a scene from thismovie, it's absolutely not a
scene from this movie like likethe kid is playing the proper
kid character but Dom Hall isnot playing his character, he's

(11:46):
not doing anything, he neverplays that character.
They never were like okay, yougot to play this character.
And I watched the first 10minutes or so of National
Treasure.
He has a whole childhood thingwhere grandpa's like kind of
does it.

Speaker 1 (12:02):
Yeah, grandpa tells the story right.

Speaker 2 (12:03):
Yeah, and the dad yells at him and like stop
treasure hunters, you dumb,dumbs and then they're in the
snow and they go and they find,they find a boat, then they find
the ship you know under the ice.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
It's all coming back as you're, as you're telling me,
yeah, keep going he, he.

Speaker 2 (12:20):
he gets this little seal that he rolls and it shows
some words and then he does awhole.
He does a whole thing where hegets things wrong.
He says things and then herealizes they're wrong.

Speaker 1 (12:33):
Great, Okay, yeah, cause he's working it out.

Speaker 2 (12:35):
He's working it out and it's he's doing a great job.
And Sean beans there and thisother guy's there, the other
dumb guy's like I think that's aprison and he's like no, and
he's like this poor guy's likepouting.
But you instantly see sean bean, you're like he, automatically
you're not trusting him oh yeah,you're like first of all sean
bean, but yeah you're like nah,something, something's going on

(12:57):
with you, sean.
You're not here for the rightreasons yeah, and you gotta give
us you know, and not that we'regonna get to the end of the
movie and go oh, Dom Hall's thereal bad guy.
Because we realized that abouthalfway through, because we
don't have a real bad guy, we'relike oh, we haven't seen a real
bad guy.

Speaker 1 (13:12):
When you're searching for a bad guy, he's usually
right in front of you, so yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:16):
Yeah, when the standard bad guys, who are
actually good guys, areliterally saying oh, by the way,
I'm not the bad guy, but I'mjust trying to slow you down.

Speaker 1 (13:27):
Right, yeah, very confused.
Well.
So it's kind of like the mummy,right, because they have that
whole people clad that areprotecting.
We're going to talk about themummy.

Speaker 2 (13:39):
They have a whole bunch of people that in this
thing they have peopleprotecting the secret.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
No, they have a group of them.
No, she has a bunch of peoplethat in this thing.

Speaker 2 (13:45):
They have people protecting the secret.
Yeah, they have a group of them, she had.
No, she has a bunch of peoplethat all die along the way.

Speaker 1 (13:48):
I mean, I guess that's true, but we don't know
any of them.
And then, and then stanleytucci has like a key of some.

Speaker 2 (13:56):
I'm gonna actually need you to explain a bunch of
things about this movie to me,by the way, just forewarning but
the point is in the you havethe guys that are protecting it
and then at a certain point theysort of change sides a little
bit.
But you understand it.
There is a natural progressionpoint where they're protecting

(14:17):
it and they will just shoot youor whatever.
They'll do what they need to do.
And then at a certain pointit's gone too far and they're
like, okay, we're all workingtogether, yeah, and it's a
perfect regression.
This movie does not understandthat at all.

Speaker 1 (14:32):
This movie doesn't understand anything that
anyone's ever done before.
It doesn't understand IndianaJones.
It doesn't understand NationalTreasure.
It doesn't understand the Mummy.
It doesn't even understandSahara Okay, we're going to
treasure.
It doesn't understand the mummy.
It doesn't even understandsahara.

Speaker 2 (14:46):
Okay, we're gonna go to sahara's the worst movie ever
.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
No, this is 10 times worse than sahara, and I'm gonna
prove it at some point I sawsahara.

Speaker 2 (14:54):
Sahara's fine.
It's not good, but hold on.

Speaker 1 (14:58):
Steve's on is great, oh yeah he, he.

Speaker 2 (15:03):
I won't say he made his career, but he certainly
showed that he could do what ittakes.

Speaker 1 (15:09):
Yeah, amen.

Speaker 2 (15:11):
It was a fun movie.
It was fun.
It was a fun, not special movie.
That's what it was.

Speaker 1 (15:18):
That is all I wanted this movie to be.
It doesn't have to begroundbreaking, it doesn't have
to be great, it just has to befun and watchable.
I just want to be able to putit on for two hours and like,
just chill, just chill.
Instead, I'm yelling at thescreen, I'm mad at everybody,
I'm googling people to see iftheir lives have fallen apart
because I'm so upset um sorry,okay, well, we're gonna.

(15:42):
We're gonna talk about thisbecause it's gonna be long we
start john krasinski's character, luke.

Speaker 2 (15:48):
He's on a scooter, the phone rings.
God, he's beset on all sides bythey're.
He's in thailand.
He's beset on all sides bythailand people, thai people,
kasem.
He's got a painting rolled upon his back and kasem's like
that's not your painting, sohold on yeah, so it just to

(16:10):
catch everybody up.

Speaker 1 (16:12):
I tried to watch this movie in earnest, uh, two weeks
ago and at this point I waslike, oh, I think I need to turn
this off because I think thisneeds to be a hate watching.

Speaker 2 (16:25):
It is this point of the movie.

Speaker 1 (16:27):
Wow, that was quick, but I let it go and by the end
of this chase scene, my wifeturns to me.
She's like we have to turn thisoff.
This has to be for the podcast,otherwise we're just going to
be mad all night.
I was like you're right, we'redone.
But so the point, point where Iknew I was gonna hate this
movie yeah, krasinski's ridingon a scooter, ignoring a phone

(16:47):
call.
Ignoring a phone call withoutany any facial expressions at
all.
Ignoring, ignoring kasem pullsup and kasem gives a very.
Am I saying that right, kasem?

Speaker 2 (16:57):
yeah, kasem, kasem, or it's kasem because kasem,
okay well listen, I apologize.

Speaker 1 (17:04):
Um, he pulls up and he has this very funny look on
his face while he's holding thephone and redialing and in that
face I laughed and I was like,oh great, this is gonna be great
.
Then we cut to krasinski and henotices them and there's no
joke, he's unable to deliver afacial expression of any

(17:26):
surprise of any of anything.
And then he is charmless.
in this scene there's no charmhe's condescending and he's not
charming in this scene, likethere's a way to do it, like
Brandon Fraser is verycondescending in the mummy.
Like, especially at thebeginning.

Speaker 2 (17:42):
Right yeah, he's the greatest.
Way that at the beginning.
Right yeah, he's the greatest.
In a way that's charming.
He knows he's the greatest andhe's 100 greatest.

Speaker 1 (17:51):
And here's the thing I'm like oh, I think he's the
greatest.
I think I like.
I believe him.
He's definitely right.
Krasinski has no charm in this.
He's charmless.
He's got negative char I don'tknow what, the anti-charm, but
that's what we'll call it.
He's got the anti-charm and Iknew immediately the first, the
very first line.
When he's just like, oh hey,kasem, or whatever he says, I

(18:11):
was like oh shit, we're introuble.
This guy can't pull this offwhatsoever.
And kasem is very funny, he'strying all of his reactions are
at least jokes.
You know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (18:24):
Like he's doing his best.

Speaker 1 (18:25):
He's my favorite character in the movie and he's
barely in it.
His two scenes in this movieare better than anything.
Anyone else does the entirefilm.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
Because that's the thing is.
Through the movie, they try andconvince us that his character
has a love of adventure.

Speaker 1 (18:47):
But he doesn't.

Speaker 2 (18:48):
He doesn't he doesn't , I'll just tell you right now.

Speaker 1 (18:50):
He says it, he says it a bunch, but he does not.
He is not enjoying.
He needs to be loving everysecond of the adventure.
He needs to.
He needs to thrive on adventure, but he's like he's just grumpy
most of the time.
He's grumpy but like thinkshe's cooler than everybody.
He thinks he's above it, whichis weird because it's mostly his

(19:10):
plan.
It doesn't make any sense.
Yeah, I hate him.
I hate him.
And here's the thing officepeople, let me know, because I
hated the office.
The office is one of my leastfavorite sitcoms of all time.
I think it's trash.
Having said that, I've neveractually watched it all the way
through.
I've just seen episodes and I'mlike I don't laugh at all.
Is he charming in that show onany level?

Speaker 2 (19:36):
Is he charming?
No, I think he's a creature ofthe Office.
So he is like a guy who thinksunderstand, who like thinks he's
sort of better than it and youknow, because good at his, you
know he's good at his job, andso he doesn't have to work hard
at it, and so he just sort ofhe's, he's sort of a smart ass.

Speaker 1 (19:57):
You know, he's just like whatever and which is kind
of what he's doing here.
But it doesn't make sense herebecause here he also needs to be
like beguiling and like theroguish, you know what I mean
like he needs to have one.
He needs to have an edge to him, like an edge of danger, not an
edge of anger, which is what hehas.
He think he thinks everybody'sstupid and he hates everybody

(20:19):
and I hate him.
He just doesn't have that.
He needs to have that spark inhim.
Like yeah, again I mean I'mgonna talk about the mummy, but
like brendan fraser, yeah, he'scondescending, he thinks he's
above everybody, but he, he ishaving the time of his life.

Speaker 2 (20:34):
You know what I mean let's let's think about his
character versus benny.
Who's the?
Who's the guy, the egyptian guy, or whatever?

Speaker 1 (20:44):
He beats up.

Speaker 2 (20:45):
Benny.
He's huge, benny's little andhe picks on Benny.
He's terrible to Benny whenthey're on the opposite sides of
the thing.
He's like who's on the rightside of?
The thing, benny, right side ofthe river and you're like that
is petty, that is not the biggerman.
That's like I'm going to rub itin Fuck you, screw you petty.
That is not the bigger man,that's like a.

(21:05):
I'm gonna rub it in fuck you,screw you.
Yeah, and we love it, we, welove this character because we
know we, we know that this guy'sgonna be put through stuff and
he's gonna be able to getthrough it and he does go
through shit and he goes throughlike he gets.

Speaker 1 (21:19):
he gets beat up a bunch in that movie, yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:23):
And he's up to the challenge.
This guy does not seem likehe's up to the challenge except
when they have him, when theygive him the ability to defeat
every challenge.

Speaker 1 (21:36):
Barely even trying.
You want to know, whatfrustrates me the most about not
maybe not the most, but reallyfrustrated me If you look at the
clothes in this movie oh, Ididn't look at the clothes.
They never get dirty.
There it is.
Guys are in the mother freakingdesert.
They're going through liketemples and shit.
Nobody gets dirty.

(21:57):
They enter the, the fountain ofyouth, and their clothes are
completely clean.
I mean, except for Krasinskihas a tiny spot of blood where
he gets shot in the arm, a tinyspot of blood.

Speaker 2 (22:08):
I don't know how gunshots work.
He doesn't get shot in the arm,he gets shot in the chest.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
Are you sure?
Because it has to be the arm,because he's totally fine when
he walks around, he has aninjury and all he's doing is
holding his arm.

Speaker 2 (22:20):
Maybe he does get shot in the arm Dan.
I don't know.
I just remember the whole beingright here.
That's the whole point.

Speaker 1 (22:25):
I don't know.
The fact that we don't evenknow the answer to that is crazy
.

Speaker 2 (22:31):
Do you understand that?
It seemed like he got shotright to the side of the arm,
but then his arm had a bandageon it.

Speaker 1 (22:39):
His arm has a bandage on it which we never see anyone
put on, by the way it seemedlike he got shot somewhere and
then he had a bandage in anotherplace.
Yeah, exactly, we don't know,they don't know, nobody cares,
it's wild and anyways.
So he's got a little spot ofblood, I don't know, maybe two
spots of blood, who knows butthe rest of his clothes

(23:00):
completely clean.
And then he goes into the F ofyouth.
He's not even wet when he comesout.
I don't even understand it.
I don't understand anything,it's not really water.
Well, I'm going to have a lotof questions on that, dan, so
put a pin in that, because Ihave a lot of fountain of youth
questions for you.

Speaker 2 (23:14):
That was the one.
That's the part I got was likewait what?

Speaker 1 (23:18):
Oh no, you don't understand it either.
We're in trouble.
What's the rules?
What's the rules?
That's what I wrote down.
What are the rules?
Question mark.
Question mark.

Speaker 2 (23:28):
Question mark nobody knows it's too powerful and
people aren't ready for it yet,but someday they'll be ready and
you're like why?
Why would they be ready, butalso ready for what?

Speaker 1 (23:36):
just to kill their, the people they love?
I don't understand, but let's,let's wait.
We'll wait for that, I'm sorry.
Anyhow, back to this boringmotorcycle ride.
That should be funny and is notfunny.
And this is how we introduceour main character, and he is
un-like-able.

Speaker 2 (23:55):
So he hits the brakes and escapes from the people
that are on all sides of him andthey chase him until he gets
away to the train station.
He calls Murph, Um, there's aplane ready, but he has to go
another way.
So they got it.
He has to go to um, he has togo to Bangkok, or he has to get

(24:17):
on train to Bangkok.
And then he um, oh yeah, thisI'll tell you when I stopped
liking this movie or not, when Iwas like, really like, and then
he I'll tell you when I stoppedliking this movie.

Speaker 1 (24:25):
Oh, great perfect.

Speaker 2 (24:25):
When I was really like oh okay.

Speaker 1 (24:30):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (24:31):
He gets off of his scooter and then runs or
something, and then he steals aworking man's scooter.

Speaker 1 (24:38):
That has his entire livelihood on the back.

Speaker 2 (24:42):
Has a trailer with his little food food stand and
then he goes and destroys thetrailer.
The trailer gets completelydestroyed and that's the point
that I like.

Speaker 1 (24:51):
When he steals it, it's like, okay, there better be
a way of like this guy gets hisbike back or I'm gonna be
pissed because again this isthis guy's entire life.
This is how he makes money andkrasinski just steals it
nonchalantly and we're'resupposed to be like that's funny
.
But then he detaches it andlets it run into the car and
explode.
That man just lost everything.

(25:12):
That man's dead in two weeks.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
He has lost everything.
There was a nice scene where hewas riding through the train
station.
It was good looking.
I mean good looking.

Speaker 1 (25:23):
Sure, a lot of this movie looks fine.
I was going to say good, but Idon't care about giving it a
compliment.

Speaker 2 (25:30):
Yeah.
Then at the last minute hejumps off the scooter and then
gets on the train.
Yeah, yeah, the train.
And this is when, through thismovie, I was thinking about his
character and he just destroyeda guy's livelihood, probably
destroyed his cart, lost hisscooter to him also, which I'm

(25:51):
assuming someone else is justgoing to pick up and steal.
Oh for sure.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
Yeah, it's just sitting there, yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:58):
We have the Robin Hoods of the world and the
Indiana Jones.
Indiana Jones did not go aroundjust wrecking people's lives,
sure?

Speaker 1 (26:09):
there's also another big difference what's the big?
Difference.
Indiana jones cares he cares um.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
He's a human yeah, and this guy, just, he is just a
wrecking ball through the worldfor really no reason, just
because he doesn't care aboutanything.
If his sister was buried in acapsule underground and she was
going to die in 48 hours, youcan set up bullshit stakes where

(26:41):
you're going to make the randomperson you know like dang,
let's tell you you know your dogis, we've got your dog.
If you don't do it, we tell usyou know the the dog.
I'm not going to say we'll dosomething bad to the dog, I'm
going to do whatever it takes.
And if people get hurt in theway, I'm going to feel bad about
it, and that's the thing youcould do.
In a movie, a character can sayoh shit, you know I've ruined

(27:03):
this sucks, but I have to do it.
You have to give us and thatmakes you know once it.
That builds a character.
Because he's not a character,because we never believe in what
he's doing.
We don't understand.
We just don't understand whathe, why he's doing all this.
Yeah, you know, if he's like anadrenaline, who did we ever
watch something where the guywas an adrenaline junkie?

(27:24):
Did we ever do it?
Because there were some othermovies we watched and we're like
, if you made this guy anadrenaline junkie I'd get it.
This guy's like you know, ifyou had a Mark Wahlberg guy, I
don't like.
But if he played an adrenalinejunkie, you know a little bit in
that movie where they're flyinghe plays like the psychopath
Flight path.

Speaker 1 (27:43):
Is that what?

Speaker 2 (27:44):
it was.
You're like okay, this is justa freaking weird guy that has to
do these terrible things.
I believe that more than Ibelieve this character.

Speaker 1 (27:56):
Yeah, I still don't totally understand his
motivation at all.
You know what I mean?
Like full stop, he keeps sayingsomething like, uh, our names
will live forever if we discoverthis or whatever.
But like I don't, does he care?
Does he really care about that?
I don't think he cares aboutthat one, um, and he also

(28:20):
doesn't care about the stuff.
That's my biggest complaintabout everyone in this movie.
Nobody is like, hey, this ispriceless artifacts, let's
protect them.
Natalie Portman kind of does itat the very end, but it's way
too late because that's a swingfrom her character that hasn't
cared about anything before that.

(28:41):
They stole six really pricelesspaintings and nobody really
cared they would not care ifthat that warehouse caught on
fire and all that right likenobody, like the whole point of
national treasure is thatnicholas cage is saying you, you
can't steal the declarationbecause you will hurt it.
I can steal it because I willmake sure it doesn't get damaged

(29:05):
and I will return it in perfectcondition.
He does that, doesn't he?

Speaker 2 (29:09):
That's like his whole .
Yes, he takes theresponsibility, he's responsible
.
Nobody takes any responsibilityin this movie.

Speaker 1 (29:19):
No, they have these six priceless paintings and
they're just like, ah, take them, you can take them all, but
there's one more painting youdon't have yet.
Ha, ha, ha ha, like I don't, Idon't care about this.
Nobody cares about the stuff.
No one is doing it for theright reasons, and that drives
me crazy.
These movies are all aboutpeople that care about these
things.
Indiana Jones cares about theshit that he's looking for.

(29:41):
He wants to make sure it getsto the rightful place national
treasure.
He cares.
The whole point is he cares somuch he's trying to do the bad
thing before a bad person doesthe bad thing, which is a
hilarious.
I just I love that.
I think it's very funny he does, doesn't he?

Speaker 2 (29:55):
he does the bad thing before the bad guy can do the
bad thing, yes, and do damage.
Think about that.
It's about preserving he'sabout preserving.

Speaker 1 (30:04):
He's like it's going to happen either way.
I should be the one to do it,because I'm going to make sure
that it still stands.
You're going to destroy it.
You're going to be JohnKrasinski.
We need a Nicolas Cage in thismovie to prevent John Krasinski
from doing the shit that he'sdoing.

Speaker 2 (30:19):
Wow, and I mean, just think about it, if you're
writing this and you come upwith that idea.

Speaker 1 (30:27):
It's great.

Speaker 2 (30:29):
It is your character, it's your entire character.
He cares more about the stuffthan he does himself or anything
else.
He's like I've got to do thisto protect the thing Interesting
yeah, he jumps the train, hefalls asleep.
The thing Interesting he jumpsthe train, he falls asleep.
Now he has these dreams aboutthis gold mask that his dad was

(30:49):
looking for and the dad didn'tfind it or did find it.
We hear different stories.
I watched the beginning ofIndiana Jones.

Speaker 1 (30:59):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (31:00):
Boom, boom, boom.
He gets there.
They jump the pit.
I mean mean it is so perfect inevery way, shape and form,
you're just like there.
No one will ever make a betteract one for any movie, I think
ever.
I.
I mean, I don't, I don't knowhow of this kind of movie it's.
It's unbelievable, everythingthat's woven in Him.

(31:24):
Not talking for a long time, wedon't see his face.
When we see his face, it'sbecause he's finally Whatever.
He turns into that main roomwhere there's a little idol.
Behind him there's a gold roundmask.
You know this.
Is this the same mask thatthey're looking at?

Speaker 1 (31:45):
Oh Inch, I didn't even.

Speaker 2 (31:47):
oh shit, that would be wild if it was right very
similar interesting certainlythey're like I don't know, in an
egyptian sort of sand situationwith that, but I was like, huh,
that's kind of weird, that'sinteresting, yeah.
So maybe it's probably justlike a nod, because they're like
, oh, we're basically.

Speaker 1 (32:02):
But I was like, huh, that's kind of weird, that's
interesting, yeah so maybe it'sprobably just like a nod Cause
they're like oh, we're basicallyIndiana Jones, but better, but
they're not.
You know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (32:11):
He wakes up on the train.
Here's Eliza Gonzalez, orwhatever her name is.

Speaker 1 (32:16):
No idea what her name in the thing, yeah, I maybe I
should look that up, look up hername, so we know her name.
So I don't just call her girly,because I did write girly,
which is very rude, but whateverIMDB says, esme, esme.

Speaker 2 (32:37):
Okay, so her name is Esme.
I never heard that, are yousure I?

Speaker 1 (32:39):
don't think I've ever heard that in this movie.
That doesn't sound familiar tome oh no, I never heard it.

Speaker 2 (32:45):
I never heard it.
Okay, yeah, weird.
He probably never learned hername.
You know which?
Once again if you're inconflict with someone, let's
just do names.
While we're sitting there,what's?

Speaker 1 (32:57):
your name.
Well, doesn't he make that joke?
Isn't he like are we gettingahead of ourselves?
Should we start with names?
Isn't he like are we gettingahead?

Speaker 2 (33:05):
of ourselves, should we?

Speaker 1 (33:06):
start with names, and then she doesn't give him her
name.

Speaker 2 (33:09):
You gotta give the name, but she says his name.
Yeah, it's weird.
So here's Esme.
She's hot that's a given um,she does like they do, a whole
you talk in your sleep bit whichthey do later, which never
amounts to anything.

Speaker 1 (33:21):
No, it doesn't.
But they talk about it likeit's going to because I don't
and I don't understand.
I don't, I don't get it.
It's not like a joke, itdoesn't.
They do it twice, I think,because the sister then does it
once and he goes.
People keep telling me that,okay, then we don't ever do it
again.

Speaker 2 (33:40):
We do it twice.
What's?

Speaker 1 (33:41):
next, right Like what's the next one?
What's the top of that beat?
Somebody do it again.
Someone tell me what's going on.
Nothing, it's just like a weirdthing that they thought was
maybe funny.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (33:52):
It might have to do with how they write movies,
where they write them on the fly, and so they do set up things
they're like, okay, we're gonnaset this thing up well, it's
like in case we need to get outsome information and he can say
oh, you can set it in your sleep, oh, you set it in your sleep,
and that's how we know this.
I guess I don't know yeah, Idon't know but then you got two

(34:13):
hours and seven minutes.

Speaker 1 (34:14):
Cut that shit out yeah, it's weird, you got two
hours and seven minutes.
Cut that shit out.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:19):
It's weird.
She recovers paintings she'sgot guys, he makes the things
like I've got guys and hegestures to these two sleeping
monks and I was like, okay, thisis going to be interesting,
it's not the guys jump him.
He beats the shit out of them.
She attacks him.
He beats the shit out of her.

Speaker 1 (34:38):
Yeah, he beats the shit out of them.
She attacks him.
He beats the shit out of her.
Yeah, he like tosses her in abathroom and locks her in at the
end or something.

Speaker 2 (34:42):
Well, before that, he beats the shit out of her.

Speaker 1 (34:45):
Well, to be fair, he's twice the size of her.

Speaker 2 (34:50):
I'm sorry, but you can't have the bigger dude
beating the shit out of a woman.

Speaker 1 (34:56):
No, no, you always got to punch up.
You can't have the bigger dudebeating the shit out of a woman.
No, no, you always got to punchup.
You can't punch down.

Speaker 2 (35:00):
And he's much bigger than the guys she brings with
her.

Speaker 1 (35:05):
I think he must be very tall.
He always seems like thebiggest guy in the room to me.

Speaker 2 (35:10):
Yeah, and you're just like wait a second.
Where's the jeopardy in any ofthis?

Speaker 1 (35:16):
Yeah, he can beat anybody?
Yeah, he's never.
Does he ever lose a fight?
I don't think so.
I don't think so either.
I don't think yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:27):
Which is a problem he doesn't lose a fight.
It's so weird.

Speaker 1 (35:33):
Also, I have a hard time believing that there's no
sexual chemistry between them.

Speaker 2 (35:39):
You have a hard time believing there is sexual
chemistry between them.
Is that what you're saying?

Speaker 1 (35:43):
I guess what I'm trying to say is how is it
possible that there's not sexualchemistry.

Speaker 2 (35:48):
Oh, I see what you're saying.

Speaker 1 (35:49):
It feels like that should be pretty easy, because
they are both very attractivepeople.
He is, I think so.
I think people generally thinkhe's he's attractive.
I don't find him attractive atall, but I also think that
people used to think he wascharming.
Maybe this movie has fixedeveryone's beliefs and they now
realize he's just a fuckinggoober.
Um, but I just there needs tobe a tension between them

(36:11):
because he makes all of theseawkward sexual jokes to her
about, like, trying to kiss herand at one point she takes off a
piece of clothing, is like, ohokay, we're doing this, but
there's never chemistry betweenthem I am never like oh okay,
hello, this could be fun shedoesn't flirt with him no, but

(36:32):
she's uninterested in him.
She in her defense.
He is uninteresting right, butthere's a point where Natalie
Portman is like.
I sensed the chemistry betweenyou two.
She says it.
I was like where when I musthave missed that part because I
would love that and when they'refighting in the library, that
should be a very sexy fight.

(36:53):
Like two things are missingfrom that fight scene which I
mean just going to talk aboutnow is he needs to be protecting
the books or she needs to beprotecting.
Someone needs to be protectingthe books.

Speaker 2 (37:06):
We've got to talk about that.
Let's talk about that soon whenwe talk about it, Dan.

Speaker 1 (37:09):
I'm so worked up over this movie.

Speaker 2 (37:13):
But I'm thinking about both of those scenes.
She never flirts with him.
He's just like you're a mess.

Speaker 1 (37:19):
He's just a creep.
Yes, he's a creep.
Yeah, he's just a creep thewhole time, and he's supposed to
be charming.
None of this works.
This movie sucks.

Speaker 2 (37:30):
You know she needs to , like you know, rub some blood
off of you know she needs to dosomething.
She needs to do, and I meanknow she needs to do something.
She needs to do and and I meanshe, she needs to do something
if you want to play that game,but if, if the whole thing is,
he's a creep and she's like I'mdoing a job, dude, I'm, I'm
working yeah, and that's weird.

Speaker 1 (37:49):
It's weird like their relationship is weird.
And then at the end of themovie she kisses him on the
cheek and I was like no, nope,didn't earn it, didn't earn that
at all.

Speaker 2 (37:57):
Kissed him on the cheek and I was like no, nope,
didn't earn it, didn't earn thatat all.
Kissed him on the cheek.
I I was like writing yeah whenthat happened and I like so I
missed it, thankfully.

Speaker 1 (38:03):
Kisses him on the cheek and is like I'll kill you
if I have to, which is like theclosest thing that they've had
to like any sort of chemistry.

Speaker 2 (38:10):
But it's the very last scene.

Speaker 1 (38:12):
That was the most chemistry they had in the whole
thing, because she, because sheshowed interest right and she
needs to be battling with thatthe whole time, like she needs
to have this, like I'minterested in this guy because
she also, when she's talking tostanley tucci, she's like no,
this guy's different, he's gonnado it.
He's different.
I don't get the feeling thatshe thinks he's different.
She needs to, at first, be likethis is just another treasure

(38:35):
hunter, he's an asshole.
And then, through hisdetermination and charm and
being good at his job, she needsto be like okay, this guy is
different, but I also still haveto stop you.
So I'm torn because I want tohave sex with you, but I also
need to kill you.
I need to have these feelingshappening on the screen for me
to enjoy it.

Speaker 2 (38:53):
She needed a line at the very beginning saying
something like you know you'renot, you did not look like this
in the photo, you know.
Or something Just likesomething, where she's all like
she finds him attractive, shehas to find him attractive, yeah
, like, oh, hang on a minute.

Speaker 1 (39:14):
Interesting, interesting yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:17):
You are tall, you know.
You know, just like, with alittle inflection in her voice
she's got to be a little thirsty, and it would make it actually
would make the fight sceneinteresting because they should
be there, needs to be in.

Speaker 1 (39:30):
There needs to be a level of sexual chemistry during
the fighting.
I know that that sounds weird,but this is their fault.
They set up that relationship.

Speaker 2 (39:39):
This is what they want.

Speaker 1 (39:41):
Yes, they're like because Natalie Portman is a
sister, so there's no loveinterest there, which is fine,
that's totally fine with me.
It is weird because I do getmore sexual chemistry between
them than I do between him andthe bad lady, which is very
strange.
But you know, that's on them.

Speaker 2 (40:00):
He gets picked up by Murph, who's his guy.
He jumps off the train.
Murph's going to come pick himup In the UK.
We meet Charlotte, his sister.
He has a son.
They're getting divorced.
She's kind of surprised they'regetting divorced.

(40:22):
She's kind of surprised um it'sall very confusing, because,
doesn't it?

Speaker 1 (40:25):
come out that he cheated on her.
I I really didn't like this,but it did matters because they
put it in there.
She at one point she calls hima dog.
She's like he's got dog-liketendencies and humps everything
or something she did say whichis weird because the guy that we
meet is like very straight lace.
No nonsense I'm.

(40:46):
I don't get dog from him at all.
You gotta unbutton a littleshow a little chest hair, buddy,
that's all I, all right.
But she does seem surprised inthis scene, which is confusing
because if he cheated, thenshe's the one asking for the
divorce.

Speaker 2 (41:05):
Well, she's saying that they talked about it and
worked out.
Once again, this is a scenewhere you've manufactured stakes
that don't make any sense.

Speaker 1 (41:17):
Don't make any sense and don't matter to the movie.

Speaker 2 (41:19):
They were.
She says we'd already workedeverything out and now you're
showing up to this with a lawyer.

Speaker 1 (41:27):
To which she would say we're not having this
meeting.
Let me get a lawyer, Rightbecause I'm an adult, I know I
understand things.

Speaker 2 (41:37):
Yeah, you walk in there and she's standing there
with a lawyer.
She should look at it and belike you're doing an absurd
thing where you're giving herbad information about the
situation and then expecting herto sit in the situation and
solve the problem.

Speaker 1 (41:54):
No, and this is our first meeting with this
character.
So, I'm just so confused on whoshe is and where she's, I don't
.

Speaker 2 (42:00):
I don't know anything here we are at the museum where
she works, where she is, Ibelieve she might be the head
curator.
I guess she's the curator ofshe's definitely important.

Speaker 1 (42:12):
You know, you know what I'm saying and I don't know
a lot about art or artbuildings, but she's very
important.
There I do.
You worked at like a wood.

Speaker 2 (42:22):
A wood you put things in a wood thing.
What am?

Speaker 1 (42:25):
I saying you put paintings in wood.
Right, that's what you did fora while.

Speaker 2 (42:30):
But paintings and what no, I worked at.
I've worked at museums andgalleries and everything to do
with the art world.
Here we go.
She's a curator at the museum.
She says I like what I do.
We never see any point at whichshe didn't like this job.
We didn't see her in her officehaving to do a lot of shitty

(42:54):
paperwork.
We don't see her.
We don't see.
You know, if I was writing athing about a paperwork, we
don't see her.
If I was writing a thing abouta museum curator who wasn't
having fun, it would be reallyeasy.
What you would say is she wouldsay I thought I'd be actually
doing something.
But you know what a head of amuseum and important curators do
a lot of times they raise money.

Speaker 1 (43:18):
That is what they do.

Speaker 2 (43:19):
The head of a museum is a guy that knows how to raise
money.
He knows how to get money outof rich people's pockets because
I need donations to keep itafloat.
They need to.
The the public walking throughthe door of the museum is not
paying for having thosepaintings on the wall.
They're rich people, yeah, andso you know she's there, we're
at opening and she's just havinga hobnob with the most horrible

(43:41):
people ever.
And he comes in and it's like,oh, you enjoying yourself.
And she's all like I did notthink this is what it would be
Right, she doesn't even give usone line, that's all great.

Speaker 1 (43:53):
Yeah, there's not one line in this entire movie, from
the way I see it.
She does like her job and theonly person that doesn't think
that she likes her job isKrasinski.
And he kidnaps her and she'slike okay, because even at the
end she's like well, now you gotme fired, you know what I mean?
Or whatever, like I still don'thave a job and that's somehow

(44:14):
not a bad thing.
I'm so confused.
Also, real quickly, I like youridea of it being some sort of a
party where there's stuffhappening as opposed to.
The only two people in themuseum are her and him.

Speaker 2 (44:29):
Well, this movie and we'll talk about it in Act 3,
has a way of just making peopledisappear.
It does not exist in situationsYou're like wow, one of the
biggest tourist sites in theentire world it's closed.
They closed it.
Yeah super weird.
A site you cannot close isclosed somehow.

Speaker 1 (44:52):
Right, yeah, for people to set up machine guns.
Giant turret.
Machine guns.
Yeah, machine guns.
Yeah, that makes perfect sense.
I just it's just, it's a weirdscene because there should be
other people in the museum butand also, if there are other
people in the museum, it'seasier for him to escape.
This guy steals a painting andthen just runs, runs for a mile

(45:15):
and then just walks out thefront door.

Speaker 2 (45:16):
There's zero security anywhere?

Speaker 1 (45:19):
Where is the security guards?
Where is anybody but her assomeone?

Speaker 2 (45:22):
who has worked security in a museum.
There are security people allover the place and you know what
they all have.
They all have walkie-talkies.
What he's going down the hall?

Speaker 1 (45:34):
right towards you.
He'll be there in three, two.
Oh, you got him.
Great, that's all that needs tohappen.

Speaker 2 (45:39):
They all carry walkie-talkies and doors can be
closed and all sorts of things.

Speaker 1 (45:45):
Yeah, only one door closes, right when he takes the
painting.
One door closes he getsunderneath it, and then he's
free to go.
I don't understand any of this,Dan.

Speaker 2 (45:55):
I gotta tell you something about big museums.
They're big.

Speaker 1 (46:01):
Sure, yeah, there's probably more than just the one
room.

Speaker 2 (46:05):
I would guess I've never been to a museum in my
life but, I'm assuming there'smore than one room.

Speaker 1 (46:09):
I just run out this one door and there's the exit
and I'm in the parking lot, allright.

Speaker 2 (46:15):
There's Cars Park right in front.
It's a classic Hollywood thingis oh, we're going to.
They go to the library and theyjust like pull up right in
front of it.
Now I'll get out.

Speaker 1 (46:26):
Yeah, like no, that's not where you park.
You're going at least one blockthat way parking and you're
walking pal.

Speaker 2 (46:33):
You know, I'm going to have to watch more National
Treasure to see if they do thatin that movie or if they treat
us like adults.

Speaker 1 (46:38):
I think I'm also going to watch it today.

Speaker 2 (46:40):
I know you are yeah.

Speaker 1 (46:42):
I am Okay.

Speaker 2 (46:43):
So he's there to steal a painting, not to see her
, which, once again, if you'rethere to steal the painting, why
would you involve her?

Speaker 1 (46:54):
But whatever, honestly, he's a terrible
brother, brother one.
She tells him about the divorceand he doesn't give a shit.
He's like well, I'm sorry tohear that.
Anyway, let's talk about me fora little bit.
He is the worst person in thismovie.
He's awful yeah yeah, um, andthen yeah, he steals the
painting while she's there, likeimmediately makes her an
accomplice on purpose, right?

(47:16):
Essentially, this is him tryingto draw her into his web of
crime.

Speaker 2 (47:22):
I guess, it's weird.
He runs out, gets in this bluesports car which they then drive
around, which of course-.

Speaker 1 (47:32):
Beautiful car, by the way, wow.

Speaker 2 (47:34):
There's no security at the thing, but as soon as he
gets in a car there's streetsecurity.

Speaker 1 (47:40):
Okay, there's not museum security, but you can't
be on the streets of whereverthey are.

Speaker 2 (47:45):
And I guess he turns a corner and drives inside a
semi and they close the doorslike we've done in Spy Hunter
and a million other things.

Speaker 1 (47:53):
Spy Hunter's so good, spy Hunter, yeah.

Speaker 2 (47:57):
Classic, and here are Murph and Deb, two generic
characters that are just thereto say things.

Speaker 1 (48:05):
They never get anything.

Speaker 2 (48:07):
Dan, what the hell Deb gets shot, and then Murph
cradles her lovingly and lays-.

Speaker 1 (48:17):
For about 20 minutes.
They call for We'll talk aboutit later.
They call for a medic.
He's like get a medic over here.
But then we cut back after atleast an hour of stuff has
happened and they're stilllaying in the sand and I was
like where is the medic?
She's bleeding out, right now.

Speaker 2 (48:36):
It's maybe the most awkward staging thing I've ever
seen in any movie, Becauseyou're just like what are they
doing?
But they can't be part of theaction and seem threatening, so
they have to just sort of sitthere.

Speaker 1 (48:49):
Power in the corner.
Yeah, no, it's weird.

Speaker 2 (48:52):
But it's also not in the corner.
It's like against things.

Speaker 1 (48:55):
Just the middle of a wall.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (48:56):
I mean you're absolutely in the corner.
It's like against things, justthe middle of a wall.
Yeah, I mean you're absolutelythe corner was misleading for
sure, because they're just inthe middle of a walkway that
everyone has to go up and downand everyone sees them and
nobody cares how's it going, heyhey, hey you're doing a good.

Speaker 2 (49:08):
You're good, all right, we'll see you later we're
bleeding out here, but go, go,all right, don't worry, just
calm, calm.

Speaker 1 (49:14):
We got some stuff to do inside.
It's very frustrating becausethe whole part of having a team
is to have a fun team.
You know what I mean, fun team.

Speaker 2 (49:27):
Oh, you do comms, you do this, you do that.

Speaker 1 (49:30):
Right, great, you have.

Speaker 2 (49:32):
Jack Black sitting in the van, you know like eating
Skittles or whatever Wonderful.
He's a keyboard, yeah.

Speaker 1 (49:38):
Absolutely.
I mean, national Treasure has agreat team.
Right, I mean it's a small team, but it's a great team.
These people need to becharacters.
They need to be characters andwe have to know what they are,
what they do and who you know.
It's so weird to have justrandom people standing around
talking for no reason.
One weird to have just randompeople standing around talking

(50:00):
for no reason.

Speaker 2 (50:00):
One guy has to drive and it's Mother's Milk from the
Boys.

Speaker 1 (50:03):
We know he's a good actor.
He's on another team where hedoes shit, so it's very
confusing when he's here notdoing anything.

Speaker 2 (50:11):
He's getting paid, thankfully.
So they open up the painting.
Nothing is there.
He says he does a bunch ofthings oh you gotta forgive me
for this.

Speaker 1 (50:22):
Then he drugs her and then just leaves her on a park
bench and I really wanted thisto be funny, but it's again kind
of creepy you mean?

Speaker 2 (50:33):
you mean leave your sister unconscious on a park
bench?
In the middle of the city.

Speaker 1 (50:39):
How could that be weird?

Speaker 2 (50:41):
That seems perfectly safe.
Nothing could happen.

Speaker 1 (50:44):
How can that be weird ?
That's totally normal behavior.
I don't know, man.
This movie is so weird, so bad.

Speaker 2 (50:54):
I really thought he was going to leave her there
with the painting.
Yeah well, that would be thenice thing to do, or just to
leave her there with thepainting.

Speaker 1 (50:58):
Yeah well, that would be the nice thing to do.
Or just maybe bring her back tothe museum, make it seem like
she never left, and they justfind her in her office and she's
like, oh, what happened?
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (51:09):
Maybe she wakes up in a locked park car, whatever.

Speaker 1 (51:13):
But just a random bench.
That's bad, that's bad newsBears.

Speaker 2 (51:18):
So in walks this guy, jamal, who's an agent of
Interpol, she says somethingabout his hounds, his mendacious
houndstooth, and it is a blockyline.
It is not well delivered.

Speaker 1 (51:35):
They have a couple back and forth, that they're
using big words and I'm notsaying I'm stupid, I mean I
don't understand the word, so Iam stupid, but they don't sound
like natural words coming out oftheir mouths.
And I'm confused on if this islike a joke in the movie, where
they're trying to use big wordsthat they don't understand, or

(51:57):
if it's just horrible dialoguethat comes out super weird and
they didn't feel like doinganother take.
I don't know, but it's.
It's incredibly awkward.
This detective also notcharming, which is a real bummer
to me.
Uh, nobody.
Where is?
Where are all the charmingpeople in this movie?
The tooch?
Well, you're right about that.

(52:17):
Tooch comes through.
I wish he was in it more thanabout 45 seconds, that's for
sure.
Sweet cane, by the way, I lovethat oh, do you have a cool cane
?

Speaker 2 (52:26):
I don't remember that tooch, yeah, yeah he's like you
gotta, you gotta buy me a goodcane and I I get to keep it I.

Speaker 1 (52:33):
He probably just showed up to set with that.
He's like I think my characterwould have this cane.
And then they're like coolStanley, you do what you want to
do, man.

Speaker 2 (52:40):
The rolling door that locked up the room rolls open
and the painting has beenreturned.

Speaker 1 (52:46):
Yep, have you ever seen Pierce Brosnan's art heist
movie?
What's that called?
Oh, is it the Thomas?

Speaker 2 (52:55):
Crown Affair.
Is it that?

Speaker 1 (52:56):
one, the Thomas Crown Affair, where he Well heist
movie, what's that called?
Oh, is it the thomas crownaffair?
Is it that one, the thomascrown affair?
Where, like he, well, I don't.
I'm not gonna spoil it foreverybody, but a similar thing
happens in that movie and it'swonderful in this movie.
It's stupid, it doesn't makeany sense.
How would they do?

Speaker 2 (53:10):
that how, what?

Speaker 1 (53:11):
they can't the door's down, dan, they can't just open
the door.
The Thomas Crown Affair doesLike a trick.
He has a trick in his, hetricks him totally different
Scenario.
It's so Weird and doesn't makeany sense, so mad at it.

Speaker 2 (53:26):
They're like just have it be back, and Maybe we'll
explain it later on in thescript.

Speaker 1 (53:31):
Right, like oh, so how did?
Okay, it's back In the room.
How would he get that?
They don't worry about it.
We don't need to talk about it.
He's a magician, she goes tosee her ex.

Speaker 2 (53:39):
The ex is like I know everything that's happened to
you.
You're disgraced.
We're like how does he know?
How does he know?

Speaker 1 (53:46):
that who called him the police?
The first call the police makewere to her ex-husband like hey,
by the way, if you cared toknow, she's an accomplice to art
theft.
Now it's's like what ishappening.

Speaker 2 (53:58):
That's not what happens.
But there wasn't art thefteither.

Speaker 1 (54:01):
The art's there no well, you know sort of
semi-theft.
Well, I don't know what they'dcall it, but something happened.
All right, dan, somethinghappened.
Something happened and now it'sback to normal.

Speaker 2 (54:12):
She goes to see Murph and lo and behold, there's the
whole gang, but also there'sOwen Carver, the money guy, who
I guess is one of the wealthiestguys on the planet.

Speaker 1 (54:22):
He's got to be.
He floats a whole submarine,well, part of it.
He saws a submarine in half andthen floats it.
He's got endless money, endlesspockets of money.

Speaker 2 (54:32):
I'm very jealous he has liver cancer, and so he
needs the fountain of youth.

Speaker 1 (54:39):
To live.
Um, I don't know anything aboutliver cancer.

Speaker 2 (54:44):
She has been fired.

Speaker 1 (54:46):
Yes, she got fired and she's kind of upset about it
.
Enough to talk about it, butnot enough to be mad.

Speaker 2 (54:53):
Not really mad.

Speaker 1 (54:54):
Right, like enough that she's like hey, you got me
fired, but okay, so you owe me aCoke.

Speaker 2 (55:00):
You know what happens in the Phantom the one girl
punches the other girl, then theother girl punches the other
girl.

Speaker 1 (55:05):
Right, amen to that, yeah.
She should have walked in thereand kicked him in the nuts,
Just well, let's not go too far,Dan He'll be dead.

Speaker 2 (55:14):
You'll die.
Kick them the nuts you might.
You don't know.

Speaker 1 (55:18):
I don't know, I don't know.
Sometimes it feels like it.

Speaker 2 (55:21):
Oh yeah, no reaction whatsoever.
But she's all like, yeah, we'relooking for the fountain of
youth, um, and then he does awhole and every myth there is a
seed of truth.

Speaker 1 (55:34):
Yeah, listen, truth, yeah, listen.
They are very knowledgeable,like incredibly knowledgeable,
and I understand that that's thetrope, right, like our heroes
know everything about it.
But I, for whatever reason, Idon't believe it in this movie.
I don't under, I don't believethat they would know these

(55:58):
things.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (56:01):
They're looking for the Fountain of Youth.
God hid it.
He left a bunch of peoplebehind to protect it.
The bigger the prize, thebigger the protection.
If you go to the fountainyou're going to get health,
wealth, beauty.
But so these six artists allhid clues and he's got all the
paintings except one, andthere's six in one, and each of

(56:22):
the paintings has a secretletter on it and he just needs
the Rembrandt.
But the letter wasn't on theRembrandt, so he can't solve the
cipher.
But she's like oh you're dumb,because that was a duplicate
that Rembrandt made and the realRembrandt is somewhere
different.

(56:43):
Yes, it's somewhere differentand she's all like but she's
like I don't really want to helpyou because I'm afraid to lose
your son.
And then we get one of myfavorite lines in the movie
Wealthy guy Owen says oh, I havea whole army of highfalutin
lawyers.
This is a line you can give aguy where you can establish his

(57:07):
character.

Speaker 1 (57:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (57:09):
I'm incredibly wealthy.
I have lawyers in every city,in every world.
Make him something.

Speaker 1 (57:21):
Highfalutin lawyers, which almost for a second made
me think to myself well, he'snot rich because he would.
That's not what he would say inthat moment.
This is like this is whatsomeone who's pretending to be
rich would say.
So I thought the twist wasgoing to be something like he
stole a bunch of money and isdoing this to steal.
So I I didn't know, but I waslike he's not rich, but I guess
he is so they have to go to thislibrary to look up.

Speaker 2 (57:48):
Why do they have to go to library?
Is this for the?
The devil's book?
Wait I don't know tan I I don'tknow.

Speaker 1 (57:54):
Oh no, I don't know Tan.

Speaker 2 (57:57):
I don't know, I don't know, for whatever reason.
No, they know, it's on theLusitania, I guess.
But he goes to a library forsome reason and then, boom, the
lady from the train is thereEsme, I think her name was and
he tries to kiss her.

Speaker 1 (58:15):
Which is so awkward.

Speaker 2 (58:18):
Oh, that's what it is .
Yeah, okay, so they just set upthis.
All the scenes with her feellike they were filmed at
different times.
You know like, yeah, they don'tmake any sense.
Because this one doesn't makeany sense.
It's like, okay, we got tobring her in to do something.

Speaker 1 (58:34):
She doesn't go to do anything.

Speaker 2 (58:35):
Nothing.
Yeah, nothing changes becauseof this, but they sort of they
sort of banter and he tries tokiss her and she's like we will
stop.
She says we will stop all ofyou and I was like, oh shit,
that means that her people aregoing to hurt someone.
You know Deb or Murph has to,has to die Really has to die.

Speaker 1 (58:57):
Or at least be in real jeopardy.
Yeah, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (59:01):
They have to take someone of them out.

Speaker 1 (59:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (59:03):
And then the scene just ends.
I don't even.

Speaker 1 (59:06):
I don't, dan, I don't know.
I didn't write anything downabout this because this movie is
terrible, but this, just real,quickly, he's very rapey, right,
because he like she's likehaving a conversation and also
he's just like, well, should wekiss?
And he just leans in and justwaits for and it's just like.
This isn't charming or funny,it's just weird.

(59:28):
Everything they do together isweird.
I don't know, I don't like it.
There's a I spent a lot of timethinking about James Rode or
Rodriguez.
Now I believe he goes by.
I apologize.
He's the guy from Psych whoplays this type of character in
that show.

(59:49):
He's the smartest guy in theroom always, but he's also like
self-deprecating and funny andclever and charming.
And there's this scene with himand his eventual love interest
where she is fighting theattraction because they work
together professionally and hedoesn't really care because he's
you know, he's a boy and hejust wants to make out with the

(01:00:12):
girl he likes.
And there's this really greatscene where he leans into kisser
and she doesn't lean back.
And there's this really greatscene where he leans into kisser
and she doesn't lean back andhe stops where, like, their
noses are touching and hecontinues to have the
conversation as if, like this islike a normal thing and it's
just like why are you so closeto me?
It's like um and it was.
It's just like a really nicemoment and it's the same idea,

(01:00:33):
but not creepy.
And there's just, there's a wayto do these things that is not
weird and creepy, that makesyour main character just look
like this weird horned dog, likeI don't even I don't know, I
just I hate everything they'vedone.

Speaker 2 (01:00:48):
You have her give a signal.
Or he can misconstrue a signal.
Absolutely, that happens allthe time.
She can say something and thenhe'd be like oh so you want to
kiss.
And then she's like no, isthere something?

Speaker 1 (01:01:01):
definitely not.
What are you talking about?
And that's the thing shedoesn't really even call him out
on it does she doesn't doanything and he doesn't have
that moment of self-reflectionwhere he's like, oh, I'm sorry,
I'm an idiot and like make ajoke about it or whatever.
They just just don't.
It's just weird, it's just like, well, at this point this
character would probably want tokiss you, so just do that and

(01:01:22):
we'll just go to the next scene.
It's just, it's all weird.
None of it makes sense.

Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
Everything's done in half measures.
It's almost like they filmedone person in one scene and the
other person in the other sceneand they kind of like that
Flight Path movie.
The call is coming in, nobody'stalking to each other.

Speaker 1 (01:01:39):
Nobody's talking to anybody.

Speaker 2 (01:01:43):
He goes to see her kid play.
The kid's playing, oh God hedoes a bunch of cheering.
When the kid finishes, the kidruns up to him, the kid idolizes
him.
I like this.

Speaker 1 (01:01:56):
I kind of like this scene, because you really were
like he almost like a hundredpercent if this guy was what
they say he is.
But he's not.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (01:02:07):
well, you, make him idolize the real thing.
And then the kid has to findout.
And then then you have thishuge emotional moment at the end
where the kid is like oh wait,you're not like this, never.

Speaker 1 (01:02:19):
You're not this like charming guy that is out for
adventure.
You're selfish.

Speaker 2 (01:02:24):
He has to have that realization you could have built
this whole movie around thekid's dreams being broken by
this guy.

Speaker 1 (01:02:31):
Yes, and then he has to redeem himself in the eyes of
the kid at the end.
Great, that makes sense thismovie doesn't make any sense at
the end.
I can't wait to talk about it,cause I need you to explain to
me.
So, this is my least favoritepart of the movie, Dan this is
your least favorite part of themovie Let me.
Just let me explain why, realquickly, because I think it's an
almost scene.
It's the closest they get to areal scene in a real movie of

(01:02:59):
this genre.
Right, because I agree with you, everything is done
semi-correctly, other than thefact that he's not the right
character.
But he stands up and he'scheering and he does the oi, oi,
oi, oi, oi, oi chant.
Right, yeah, he needs to say oi, oi, oi, oi, and then another
dad sitting with a mom has to gooi, oi, oi and then get in

(01:03:21):
trouble with the mom.

Speaker 2 (01:03:22):
There has to be this call and response.

Speaker 1 (01:03:40):
He can't just do the oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi,
oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi,oi, oi time.
Make that a joke.
It's a very easy joke to makeand it would.
It would happen.
That would be me if somebodydid.
Oh.
I'm gonna say oh, for no reasonother than I'm an idiot.
I don't know, I was just so, Iwas just like.
You can't even get like yourone in your one good scene of
the movie.

Speaker 2 (01:03:51):
You can't get it right but when he has that
little straw hat on he ischarming.

Speaker 1 (01:03:57):
No, he's handsome.
He's handsome, he looks thepart and that's the whole thing,
right?
Like I do think he looks thepart, I just don't think he has
the playfulness in him to pulloff this type of charm.

Speaker 2 (01:04:14):
Well, you'd have to be there and someone would have
to direct it.
Sure, yeah, yeah, they decidednot to do either of those things
.
Well, you'd have to, it'd haveto be there and someone would
have to direct it.

Speaker 1 (01:04:18):
Sure, they chose not to have it be there.
Sure, yeah, yeah, they decidednot to do either of those things
.

Speaker 2 (01:04:22):
So here we go.
What has happened is in onehour.
What they've done is they'veset up a boat and they've the
Lusitania, which is like thetitanic.
It's on the bottom of the ocean.
They've cut a whole section out.
They've got inflatables tobring it to the surface.

(01:04:45):
Yeah, and I don't know if it'sthem, if it's the rich guy doing
that or if it's someone elsedoing it.

Speaker 1 (01:04:52):
It has to be the rich guy, because we don't know
anybody else, we don't know orsee anyone else, so it has to be
the rich guy.
I have no idea.
This blew my mind.
I was very impressed with thisrich guy so they've set this up.

Speaker 2 (01:05:06):
They're like, oh well , there's a storm coming, so we
could do it now, or we could doit after the storm, and it's
like that 24 hours would kill usall right, like I guess it's
too long for my cancer.

Speaker 1 (01:05:17):
Not to be rude about cancer, but you could wait
through the storm, but also thenthe storm doesn't really do
anything.
So what's the point of bringingup the storm?

Speaker 2 (01:05:29):
We've raised the Lusitania.
They take a boat over, they gothrough the doors.
They talked about the weirdEcuador mess some more.
They said Ecuador doors.
They talked about the weirdEcuador mass some more.
They said Ecuador didn't they,they did say Ecuador.

Speaker 1 (01:05:43):
Yeah, that sounds about right, but in the memories
.

Speaker 2 (01:05:44):
It's like sand.

Speaker 1 (01:05:46):
I mean not to say that they're I've never been to
Ecuador, I can't comment.

Speaker 2 (01:05:50):
I have been to Ecuador.
Wow, I'm sure there might be adesert there, but it's mostly
jungle.
But the thing they show is sand.

Speaker 1 (01:06:00):
But I mean also Maybe it's quicksand that's in the
jungle.

Speaker 2 (01:06:03):
Tony, you have one thing to do Look up where the
beginning of Indiana Jonesoccurs.

Speaker 1 (01:06:08):
Copy Temple of Doom.
Are we talking?

Speaker 2 (01:06:11):
No, the good one.
The Raiders of the Lost Ark Gotit.
The only one worth watching.
I mean you can watch the SeanConnery one once.
I've only ever seen it once.

Speaker 1 (01:06:20):
Oh, I've watched it a bunch.

Speaker 2 (01:06:22):
I know you have, but it was fine for once, especially
when he does the umbrella withthe birds and kills the planes
with the birds?
Yes, you see that scene andyou're like where the fuck were
that scene?
Yeah, yeah, Bonus.
So now I'm going to look stupidand I don't want to look stupid
, but Raiders of the Lost Arktakes place.

Speaker 1 (01:06:42):
the beginning takes place in the South American
jungle, but South America has,like, a bunch of countries in it
it does.
Is Ecuador one of them?
It?

Speaker 2 (01:06:52):
is one of them.

Speaker 1 (01:06:53):
Okay, so maybe it's the same.

Speaker 2 (01:06:55):
All right, same mask.
Okay, so that's their.

Speaker 1 (01:06:58):
So are they saying that Indiana Jones is their
father.
Is that where we're going?

Speaker 2 (01:07:07):
no, but indiana jones didn't pick up that mask he
skipped, that's true, he walkedright by it.
He's like, yeah, fuck that shitthat's true, you're right,
you're right.

Speaker 1 (01:07:15):
So it's just like a few years later somebody else
stumbled upon the same thing gotit.

Speaker 2 (01:07:19):
What you need to do now, tony, is oh god, there's a
lot of homework the, the name ofthe tribe, which I think was
the hooties h-o-u.
T-i-s.

Speaker 1 (01:07:27):
And the blowfish.

Speaker 2 (01:07:28):
No, that's Hootie H-O-O-T-I-E.
Hootie, hoothies.
Maybe it's the Hoothies.
Look up what the name of thattribe is at the beginning and
then see where that tribe isdistributed.
Okay, back to the movie.
So we find out the guys on theboat.
They get a radar signal.

Speaker 1 (01:07:49):
Hovitos, hovitos, that's what it is.
Okay, let's see if that's real.
The Jovitos themselves arefictional.
They are depicted asdescendants of the real
Chachapoyan people in Peru.

Speaker 2 (01:08:07):
Peru and Ecuador, right next to each other, so
okay, okay, I'm feeling likeit's a yes Dan.
We may be the only ones thathave cracked this stupid code.

Speaker 1 (01:08:18):
I mean basically, we're in our own adventure movie
.
Right now.
We're solving clues better thanthis movie.

Speaker 2 (01:08:23):
Better than this stupid movie.
So boom, here we go.
They get a radar contact.
There's a helicopter coming in.
Great, of course, their commsno longer work.

Speaker 1 (01:08:35):
So this is my favorite part of the movie.
Yeah, I feel bad because Idon't know his real name, so I'm
just going to keep calling himMother's Milk.
What's his name in the movie?
Murph, murph.
Murph turns to Deb and company.
No-transcript reach him on theradio.

(01:09:15):
Are you coming in on the radio?
What is happening, dan?
Why is he explaining and doing?

Speaker 2 (01:09:20):
You got to get to that.
Two hours and seven minutes,that's where the real money
comes.

Speaker 1 (01:09:24):
We got to get that extra 30 seconds where we can
everybody.

Speaker 2 (01:09:29):
They're wandering around.
She's navigating from a thingto navigate.
They're trying to find thepurser's office or something,
and she's all like it's rightthrough this door.
She's like it's right throughthis door.
Now it's a big double doors.
On the other side of them thereis light, right, yeah, which
means it's going to take themback out on the deck and she

(01:09:52):
thinks that's the office.
And he looks up and he sees asign that says this is the
office we're looking for.

Speaker 1 (01:09:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:09:59):
What the?

Speaker 1 (01:09:59):
fuck.

Speaker 2 (01:10:01):
What the fuck.

Speaker 1 (01:10:02):
Dan, she's a woman.
She can't read a map.

Speaker 2 (01:10:07):
This is a character trait we have never seen in her.

Speaker 1 (01:10:10):
We don't need to see in her nope I don't understand
this one.
This one baffled me it's justlike why have we written this
one, just the one I mean?

Speaker 2 (01:10:19):
of of many.
You're just like.
I don't understand why I don'tunderstand.

Speaker 1 (01:10:24):
at the beginning of this scene where she pulls out
the map or whatever and she'slike follow me, can you get the
door for me, please, please andgo first.
It was a weird exchange,because she says follow me and
then sends him in first.
It didn't make any sensewhatsoever, so dumb I love it.

Speaker 2 (01:10:43):
They get in there.
They drink some booze.
Here comes the heli.
They drink some booze.
They comes the hell.
They drink some booze.
They got the safes.
He, he starts opening the safe.
She drinks some out of thewindshield cabin.
Here's the, here's the.
Here comes the helicopter andthey're.
They're looking at thehelicopter and they're like

(01:11:04):
who's that?
And the rich guy goes.
I don't know.
Well, I mean why?
Why?
Would you know he doesn't Imean, I guess I it's like why
this is okay, whatever theywhat's the point?

Speaker 1 (01:11:19):
why is that in there?
There's no reason to put thatin the movie.
We all know nobody knows.
Again, you don't have to saywho is that and then have
someone say I don't know.
You can just say who is that.
He can say no, you don't haveto say who is that, and then
have someone say I don't know.
You can just say who is that.

Speaker 2 (01:11:31):
Like we know, you don't know.
He can look up and say that'snot one of mine, to which Murph
says oh man, we got to get themon the radio.

Speaker 1 (01:11:39):
They repel and he says hey guys, I'm trying to get
you on the radio, so stupid.

Speaker 2 (01:11:44):
They repel three people down who start searching
this thing for them.
They get the safe open, theyfind the box, they pry open the
box and wait.
Did we miss my favorite line?
Okay, wait.
We missed my favorite line, myfavorite line in the whole movie
.
This is what Charlotte says toLuke Don't take anything that

(01:12:06):
isn't yours.
We're not thieves.

Speaker 1 (01:12:11):
We're not thieves, but make sure you grab the thing
we're here to steal.
You know what I mean.
Those are the two.
We're only here to steal onething.

Speaker 2 (01:12:22):
What is happening, and so he opens the box.

Speaker 1 (01:12:25):
If you're only there to steal one thing, you're not a
thief.
Okay, because you have a targetand you're going to take.
Just If you take only there tosteal one thing, you're not a
thief.
Okay, because you have a targetand you're going to take.
Just if you take a bunch ofthings, then you're a thief.

Speaker 2 (01:12:35):
In the box underneath the painting, which is wrapped
up in like oilcloths.
So it's safe.
It's a waterproof safe.

Speaker 1 (01:12:40):
Waterproof safe.

Speaker 2 (01:12:42):
We know how well that would work over time.
All those rubber gaskets willlast forever, yeah that's why
they made them that way right.
Yeah, that's why they made themthat way.
Rubber never degrades.
No, no, no.
I got this pad of paper in themail Decorative paper to use for
a project I love it which I'mprobably never going to use, but

(01:13:02):
whatever, and it had like aclear sticker that sealed it,
you know, so it wouldn't goflopping around.
Peel that sticker off of there.

Speaker 1 (01:13:10):
Fucking gunky shit everywhere, everywhere and clean
it all off and do all this workto get, but it's like.

Speaker 2 (01:13:17):
This is something that's made in the past five
years.

Speaker 1 (01:13:20):
It's pretty recent.
It's obviously not right now,but it's pretty recent.
It's not at the bottom of theocean okay.

Speaker 2 (01:13:29):
So he pulls the painting out of the box and is
almost ready to open it up inthe dripping thing.

Speaker 1 (01:13:36):
Yep Doesn't care at all.

Speaker 2 (01:13:38):
Yeah, but there are jewels in there too and she
wants to seal them and she, like, slaps his hand away.
Yeah, slaps his hand away.
They're stealing from this box.
But she doesn't want him Inthis one scene Stealing those
things Like you can't steal morethan one thing.

Speaker 1 (01:13:59):
See, if you steal one thing, it makes you a collector
, dan.
If you steal multiple things,you're a thief.
Everybody knows the distinction.
No, it's super weird.
It doesn't make any sense.
They're literally there tosteal something and she keeps
talking about not stealing.
It's super weird.
It doesn't make any sense.
They're literally there tosteal something and she keeps
talking about not stealingthings.
It's very weird.

Speaker 2 (01:14:15):
The airbags start failing, we start having the
avatar boat, the bad guys startshooting machine guns.

Speaker 1 (01:14:21):
Everybody fights Everywhere they are spraying
machine gun.
Fire Everywhere.

Speaker 2 (01:14:28):
Um, okay, tony.
Actually, this, this wholesequence, is my least favorite
thing in this entire movie I,yeah, I can buy that there's a
weird.

Speaker 1 (01:14:39):
I need you to explain it to me it's the only slow-mo
with words.
In the whole movie there arerandom slow-mos which I think
are terrible.

Speaker 2 (01:14:52):
There are.

Speaker 1 (01:14:52):
Okay, I didn't know that there's a couple, but
they're all just during actionscenes, which kind of makes
sense because people do that.
But this time slows down and hetalks in slow motion, for no
reason.

Speaker 2 (01:15:04):
It's not giving any important information For no
reason.

Speaker 1 (01:15:08):
I thought maybe the wine was doing something weird,
or whatever the booze they drankwas doing something weird, but
then it goes back to normal andthere's no side effects.
I don't understand what'shappening.
This doesn't make any sensewhatsoever.
I don't know.
I need you to figure it out,dan, because it's the most
annoying thing, because it justkeeps nagging at me.

(01:15:29):
Why would this happen in themovie?
It doesn't happen at any othertime in the movie.

Speaker 2 (01:15:34):
I think it's something that happened in post
and they just didn't fix it.
You think it was on accident.

Speaker 1 (01:15:40):
The editor actually hits the jog wheel and turns
down the speed on accident, andthen they just leave it in the
final cut.
That makes perfect sense.
The lady gets her and then sheescapes, or something I don't
know well so what happens isshe's like, hey, I'm gonna, I'm
gonna put a gun to your sister'shead.

(01:16:01):
And he's like, no, you're not.
Even though you guys all justtried to shoot us hundreds of
times with machine guns, you'renot really going to do that.
You're not going to put a gunto her head.
Even though you just shot ather a bunch of times, you're not
going to put a gun to her head.
It doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 2 (01:16:18):
Somehow she gets free .
And then the boat, because hecalled her bluff and yeah, the
boat like.
I don't understand.
She's the protector, right?
Can't she just kill them?

Speaker 1 (01:16:29):
Yes, I thought that's what they were there for.
They had machine guns, stanMachine guns, and they're
shooting them.

Speaker 2 (01:16:38):
Couldn't they just machine gun to all the buoys,
and it would just sink back intothe thing.

Speaker 1 (01:16:43):
Well, isn't that kind of what happened, but just on
accident?
They don't say that.

Speaker 2 (01:16:48):
Oh sure, the things start popping before because it
can't hold the weight.

Speaker 1 (01:16:52):
Don't know why you do the mission Because of the
three extra people.

Speaker 2 (01:16:54):
Yeah, so basically our people escape.
The three people that rappelleddown are sensibly all dead.

Speaker 1 (01:17:02):
Yeah, probably drowned.
Yeah, for sure they didn't haveanywhere to go because that
chopper had to go back to themainland, because it was shot in
the tank or something.

Speaker 2 (01:17:10):
So those jewels that they didn't want to steal, that
she wouldn't let him steal whathappened to them, Tony?
They're floating in the oceannow because the container is
open, so they probably came out,it was in a sealed room.

Speaker 1 (01:17:25):
But they came out of it.
You're right, I'm sure you'reright.
It's probably just in the room.
Then they came out of it.
You're right, I'm sure you'reright.
It's probably just in the roomthen.

Speaker 2 (01:17:29):
What's going to happen when that big hunk of the
Lusitania falls down throughthe ocean?

Speaker 1 (01:17:36):
I don't know what's going to happen.
It's going to kill a fish.

Speaker 2 (01:17:39):
It's going to land on all the other parts of the
Lusitania and fuck that site allup.
They have come and justdestroyed, because that's true,
have come and just destroyedbecause that's what they do.

Speaker 1 (01:17:51):
They destroy everything they touch.
They don't care.
That's the whole.
That's my whole point.
They don't care about any ofthese priceless artifacts.

Speaker 2 (01:18:00):
They're terrible people okay, they go back.
Um.
It turns out that the real richguy has hired her ex-husband to
go to Japan, so she gets tohave the kid.

Speaker 1 (01:18:13):
Super weird.
Why would he accept that job?
Because he wants a job, Sure,but I assume he has a job of
some sort right and now this isjust a better job, better job.
No one in.

Speaker 2 (01:18:28):
America has ever not taken a better job.

Speaker 1 (01:18:30):
Well, I guess you're right about that, but he was
just arguing over custody of theson, right?

Speaker 2 (01:18:36):
he didn't really want him.
He just wanted to argue becausehe's probably a lawyer, you
mean because he's a dog.

Speaker 1 (01:18:40):
He's a dog like tendencies.
This character doesn't make anysense.
It just does what they neededto do at the time they needed to
be done.
That's it, so we've got all thenumbers.

Speaker 2 (01:18:53):
Oh yeah, this is when she said what's with that lady,
you know yeah, there's likeattention she says you mean that
?
That weird, the one with theweird dysfunctional chemistry?

Speaker 1 (01:19:05):
weird dysfunctional chemistry they didn't have any
chemistry in that scene, didthey?
Didn't have any chemistry atall, let alone dysfunctional
chemistry.
They didn't have any chemistryin that scene, did they?
They didn't have any chemistryat all, let alone dysfunctional
chemistry.
I would love for them to havesome dysfunctional chemistry,
because that would be a nicepush and pull right.
But they don't.

Speaker 2 (01:19:21):
We do an anagram, we do a code, we do constellations,
we substitute V for W becausethese super smart people.
Well, in Latin V and W.
Sure, that's what they said.
I don't know.
Anybody that has the most minorclassical education will know
that.
I know that I'm not an idiot.

Speaker 1 (01:19:41):
Listen, I have a class of what did you say?

Speaker 2 (01:19:43):
Classical, you do not have a classical no, you don't.

Speaker 1 (01:19:46):
Education from Supernatural.
They speak Latin in that showall the time they speak latin.

Speaker 2 (01:19:51):
Yeah, we in in our high school, you know you have
to take like a language and weall us nerds took latin.

Speaker 1 (01:19:57):
We could take latin in our school I don't believe
latin was still an option when Iwent to school.
I think it was just the threebig ones french, german and
spanish.

Speaker 2 (01:20:06):
It was very specialized and I don't.
I don't know how we had it inour school.
It was the greatest thing ever,but you had to go up like the
secret back stairs and on oneside was the typing room and
then the other side was like itwas.
I don't know if it was a broomcloset or whatever, but it did
not feel like a real classroom.

Speaker 1 (01:20:25):
It was just like Can we also talk about the typing
room, dan?
I mean, that's classic, that isgreat.

Speaker 2 (01:20:31):
I will always say this Taking typing in high
school most important class Iever took.

Speaker 1 (01:20:36):
Yeah, for sure 100%.
Did you take that as well?

Speaker 2 (01:20:41):
Yeah, I wish I had, it would have been great.
But yeah, typing most importantclass.
I hated it.
I don't know why I took it.
I think you had, like this onelittle slot that you had to fill
and there was something evenmore terrible.

Speaker 1 (01:20:55):
Even worse.
I guess I'm going to taketyping.

Speaker 2 (01:20:59):
And it was painful to do it because you had to take
it with, like normal people,everyone in the typing class was
normal and I'm like Mr.

Speaker 1 (01:21:06):
Dan Goodsell.

Speaker 2 (01:21:07):
Mr Higher education shit.
I was always taking AP classes.

Speaker 1 (01:21:12):
Oh boy, not with the normies.
I was in with the hoi polloi.

Speaker 2 (01:21:17):
Okay, so they figure out that the the six
masterpieces, whatever.
They figure it out that theygot to go with this, this wicked
Bible, We'll never get it.

Speaker 1 (01:21:29):
Something about a king and then a Bible.

Speaker 2 (01:21:31):
It's gonna be a four hour episode.

Speaker 1 (01:21:34):
I know it's gonna be good.

Speaker 2 (01:21:35):
It's gonna be good so they gotta go get the wicked
Bible where it says instead ofthou shalt not commit adultery,
thou shalt commit as muchadultery as possible as you want
.

Speaker 1 (01:21:44):
Hey, oh, king.

Speaker 2 (01:21:45):
James, he's like animals are available do you
think this is real?

Speaker 1 (01:21:49):
I don't know.
I don't know either but it'spretty cool.

Speaker 2 (01:21:52):
I wish I had one of those.

Speaker 1 (01:21:54):
Yeah, that would be a cool Bible to have.

Speaker 2 (01:21:56):
I wish I had one of those, because I'd sell it.

Speaker 1 (01:21:59):
Well, that's true, Mr Collector.

Speaker 2 (01:22:03):
Okay, in comes Interpool, oh, you got all the
stuff.
And then in comes kasam.
He's like you got all the stuffand he's great.

Speaker 1 (01:22:10):
He elevates this scene so much.
He comes in and he's like youthink I'm dumb?
I'm not dumb and I don't.
This guy is playing it right.
He is the perfect character inone of these films and nobody
around him is giving himanything and I just feel I hope
he gets a bunch of work afterthis.
I don't know anything aboutthis guy.
I hope he works a bunch.

(01:22:30):
He's great, he's wonderful.

Speaker 2 (01:22:33):
There it is uh, put that on your cv.
Um yeah, luke is like let thefour of them go and then I'll
tell you where the caravaggio is.
And he lets the four of them go, and then he gets everyone to
start killing each other andyeah, he just turns up music.

Speaker 1 (01:22:49):
He turns up up music really loud, you know, as a
diversion, I guess.

Speaker 2 (01:22:54):
Well, just to you know, make everyone start
shooting, sure yeah.
The Interpol wins, but theyescape on a boat.
He has a dream about a glowingglass.
Now they're on a private plane.

Speaker 1 (01:23:04):
It's not a dream.
It's like a premonition.
Can we talk about that yet, orshould we wait till the end?
We're going to wait till theend.
All right, you got it.

Speaker 2 (01:23:11):
They get on this.
This is another point at whichI was just like.
This is not right.
They're on the rich guy'sprivate plane, which is just
this, set in Burbank, whereeverybody just sits there.
It doesn't move, they don't putit even like a little bit of a
hum, they don't you know theydon't no shake.

Speaker 1 (01:23:28):
There's no, there's nothing Like you have to add
something, otherwise you're noton a plane.
We've all been on planes.
It's not nothing, right?

Speaker 2 (01:23:42):
Like you feel like you're in a plane and it sounds
like you're in a plane.

Speaker 1 (01:23:44):
I hate, yeah, I hate.
I have to do sound cancelingheadphones or I just like lose
my mind.

Speaker 2 (01:23:49):
Do you?
You don't like that noise.

Speaker 1 (01:23:51):
Yeah, I don't know what it is, but maybe it's a
frequency thing.
I honestly don't know, but likeit drives me bananas.

Speaker 2 (01:23:58):
One thing I like about air travel is taking off,
because I always fall asleep andit's, oh it's the greatest
sleep ever Taking off sleep.

Speaker 1 (01:24:07):
Wait, hold on.
When do you fall asleep?
Fall asleep, wait, hold on.
When do you fall asleep?
Like during the takeoff, likewhen the g's are pulling you
back.

Speaker 2 (01:24:15):
That's what you like, it's just so nice.
You're like at this perfectangle and yeah, you got the
cheese, and you're just like, oh, this is so you like a little
pressure on your chest, like acomfort blanket for you it
probably is.
It's probably like the weightedblanket, because I love it.
Yeah, that's what I meant Ialways fall asleep when you take
off for like about 10 minutesand then I wake up and I'm like,
oh, that was, and it's reallynice sleep.

(01:24:35):
You're just like, oh, this is.

Speaker 1 (01:24:36):
For 10 minutes.
Wow, a little cat nap for Dan.
I love it.
That's beautiful.

Speaker 2 (01:24:42):
Charlotte's boozing.
Our family name needs to haverelevance, To which I wrote huh.

Speaker 1 (01:24:51):
Why needs to have relevance to which I wrote.
Why?

Speaker 2 (01:24:52):
who, what, where, when and why I don't understand.
They go to austria.
They go to the austriannational library.
They pull up right in front.
They're welcomed by people.
The billionaire and the kid gofor lunch.
He's a musical prodigy, soyou're rich.
Do you own a?
I own a hold on a second.
Yeah, he says I own two boatsand planes.
And then he's like you saw my.
No, you saw my.

(01:25:13):
I have two planes.
You saw my one plane and we'regoing to see the bigger plane
later.
Well, we're not.
We never see the bigger plane.
We aren't.

Speaker 1 (01:25:21):
The kid was going to see it.
We're not going to see it,don't worry, dan.

Speaker 2 (01:25:25):
But isn't that a setup for the movie that we're
going?

Speaker 1 (01:25:27):
to see a bigger plane later.
Yeah, because he's like.
You know, you've seen my plane,but I have a plane.
Yeah, but we don't get to seeit.
You don't need to see it, youcan imagine it.

Speaker 2 (01:25:40):
And then the kid says are you satisfied?
And he says, of course not.
Yeah, this is the point atwhich we have to realize he's
the bad guy.
Yeah, for sure we have to andwe do not.

Speaker 1 (01:25:50):
He plays this guy as cool, charming, gets along with
kids, super normal, which isfrustrating on two levels for me
, because on one level it'sfrustrating because this scene
right here is like the level ofcharm that's missing from the
movie.
Yeah, these two characters haveit together, but only together.
As soon as either of theminteract with anyone else,

(01:26:12):
they're back to shit.
So I'm very confused on whythis scene works.
But also, he shouldn't be thisin this scene.
So it's like double frustratingfor me.

Speaker 2 (01:26:25):
It's very bad.
They go through the secret door, the secret door.

Speaker 1 (01:26:34):
In the library.
Everybody loves the secretbookcase door, by the way, it's
the best.

Speaker 2 (01:26:40):
Esme and the bad guys show up and they take over all
the.
They block all the exits.
They block all the exits andthen they're doing the thing to
the Bible, scanning it andwhatever they have to do, they
have.

Speaker 1 (01:26:55):
X amount of time.
Yeah, you don't need to knowwhat they're doing.

Speaker 2 (01:26:57):
So, for an unknowable reason, they're in the secret
room.

Speaker 1 (01:27:02):
That no one, none, of the bad guys know about.

Speaker 2 (01:27:05):
And so what does Luke do, Tony?
He goes outside.
Why does he go outside?

Speaker 1 (01:27:13):
He feels stifled in the room.
He wants to go check out theother rooms.

Speaker 2 (01:27:18):
I don't know.
There's no reason for him to gooutside.

Speaker 1 (01:27:22):
No, there's literally no reason.
He's like you know what?
I'm going to step outside thesecret room and go back to the
main lobby of the library herejust to see what's going on and
get in a fight?

Speaker 2 (01:27:32):
yeah, and what consequences does the fight have
?

Speaker 1 (01:27:35):
well, they stab a book.
That's not good nobody cares.
There's probably a like a 300year old book and nobody cares
that.
They just destroyed it.
Um, and then he hangs the girlupside down.

Speaker 2 (01:27:49):
You know there's a great movie which I can't think
of the name of Sean Connery, andthis kid that's a writer and
Sean Connery's like a reclusivewriter who's been in his
apartment forever and you knowthat's gentrified.
So this kid's a lower class kid.
And then he starts teaching thekid how to write you know, or
teaching him you know, helpinghim with his writing.

(01:28:11):
The kid's a good writer already,but at one point they do a
whole thing about soup and allthis stuff and about information
and how there's informationthat you want and then there's
information that you need, orsomething like that.
I don't even remember what itis.

Speaker 1 (01:28:27):
Well, this is Finding Forrester.
Finding Forrester, great movie.

Speaker 2 (01:28:30):
Incredible movie 10 out of 10 movie.
But the point being is a movie,every scene in a movie, has to
propel the thing forward withinformation that has to be
gathered.

Speaker 1 (01:28:45):
Otherwise you cut that scene out.
There's no reason for thatscene to be in your movie.
If it doesn't move it forward.
You're stagnant.
You get rid of it, Cut it.

Speaker 2 (01:28:52):
The scene has.
No, it's no, there's no reason.
It just adds time.
Yeah, it doesn't.
It doesn't move theirrelationship forward, but it
should.
It shouldn't, it could sure.

Speaker 1 (01:29:03):
It should move Krasinski and Esme Luke and
Esme's relationship forward.
This fight should have be fullof sexual tension and somebody
should care about the books andwe should learn a little bit
about someone's character.
And then, even when they win,they're kind of like ah sorry, I

(01:29:24):
, you know I had to do it, I gotto go Love you, see you later.
You know like there has to be abuilding.
Their relationship should atleast move.
It's not going to move the plotforward, right, and that's okay
.
Not every scene needs to movethe plot forward, but it does
need to move your charactersforward.
And if the end of this movieshe kisses him on the cheek
because they have some sort ofrelationship that needs to build

(01:29:46):
somewhere and it's not buildingsort of relationship that needs
to build somewhere and it's notbuilding, nope, very
frustrating.

Speaker 2 (01:29:53):
Um, they go through the floor and walk out through
the sewer.

Speaker 1 (01:29:58):
No, they blow up the floor.
They put an explosive device inthis really old, beautiful
Austrian library building.
Nobody gives a shit.
They set off an explosion andgo through the floor.
That's ridiculous.
Are we in trouble?
Shannon's here.

Speaker 2 (01:30:16):
Are we in trouble?
Hi Shannon, for what I don'tknow, you chased the dog in here
.
No, she wanted to come in, ohyou wanted to come in.
Oh hey, aw, she missed you Dan.

Speaker 1 (01:30:25):
I mean she was here the whole time.

Speaker 2 (01:30:26):
Then she just left like one minute ago.
There goes Shannon.
Bye, tony.
She was like I told her we werestarting at 9 and she was all
like you should start at 9.30and let Tony sleep in.
And I was like no.

Speaker 1 (01:30:39):
No, not today.
She's like yeah, no, it's allright, I was up in here.

Speaker 2 (01:30:43):
She's like you're mean to him and I'm like yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:30:46):
Yeah, well, she's right about one thing, dan.
Yeah, you're mean to me, that'strue.

Speaker 2 (01:30:51):
Poor Tony.
Somehow the bad guys know thatthe rich guy and the kid are
having lunch in this place, sothey send a thing over there.
And what does he do to thoseguys?

Speaker 1 (01:31:04):
Just kicks the crap out of them, just not even like
he beats the shit out of them.
He's more efficient as a killerthan anyone else in the movie
and we only get to see it inthis one scene and I was like
what?
What just happened?
Why did he kick the crap out?
of everybody he doesn't evenbreak a sweat and he viciously

(01:31:25):
beats these guys up.
It's not oh, I'd won the fightand we can escape.
He like knocks them out.
They are on the floor in painand he's just like all right,
cool, let's head out.
It's a weird scene.

Speaker 2 (01:31:39):
He says to the kid don't tell them that I did all
this.

Speaker 1 (01:31:43):
Right, which doesn't really matter, because this
isn't why you're a bad guy, likeat the end of the movie.
Movie you don't become somesort of kung fu master and kill
everybody like it doesn't makeany sense.

Speaker 2 (01:31:55):
this doesn't lead to anywhere it could be if you had
a movie, then they get backthere and the kid rats him out
instantly.
Why does the kid rat him outinstantly?

Speaker 1 (01:32:06):
because he's a kid man no, but I mean why?

Speaker 2 (01:32:09):
why is it a movie?

Speaker 1 (01:32:09):
kids are stupid kids are stupid, doesn't mean
anything.
Nothing means anything.
Uh, and they don't even carelike that, because that's the
point, right, like if somebodycared when he said it, then it
would mean something.
But he's like oh, and he kickedthe crap out of two people.
And everyone's like, oh, okay,cool.

Speaker 2 (01:32:27):
They scan the gilding and they find out that there's
seven things in there and thekid just goes.
We just see, instantly he goes.
We know it's music because he'sa prodigy.
So we're like all right, hefigures it out, charlotte's
getting pissed off and then heexplains to her how happy she

(01:32:47):
has been for the last two days.
How happy she has been Did youtwo days?
How happy she has been?

Speaker 1 (01:32:55):
did you see that she was never happy?
Is that the movie you'vewatched, dan?
Because I have not seen hersmile.

Speaker 2 (01:32:59):
Oh, one time she literally has never been happy
in this movie.
She is absolutely miserable.

Speaker 1 (01:33:06):
Yeah, there needs.
I am okay if she like wants tobe miserable but has fun in
spite of herself.
You know what I mean?
That's, what we need to see isthat she is enjoying the
adventure even though shedoesn't want to.
But we don't see that at all.
We just see someone who's likeI hate being here.
I don't want to be on set.

(01:33:28):
I can't believe I'm doing thismovie.
I hate everything.
I don't want to be on set.
I can't believe I'm doing thismovie.
I hate everything.
It's not right.

Speaker 2 (01:33:33):
It's got to be even harder when you have to do press
for a movie like this.
I tried to watch some of thepress, but-.

Speaker 1 (01:33:38):
Oh God, did you really?

Speaker 2 (01:33:40):
She leaves and then immediately returns, and then we
find out that it's music and wefind out that it's called
Waters in the Desert.
Then we figure out that theseven ancient wonders of the
world.
Then we find the map of themand then we put the other thing
over the map and then we knowexactly where to go.

Speaker 1 (01:33:59):
And while I didn't understand everything that they
said at this point, I don't care, just get there, let's just go
guys.
I'm over this.

Speaker 2 (01:34:08):
Esme goes to the Vatican, talks to Tucci Tucci's
like we're the most powerfulpeople in the world.
You tried mercy with them.
Who are you?

Speaker 1 (01:34:17):
They're the protectors.
Okay, who are you?
What does that mean?
Who are the protectors?
God?

Speaker 2 (01:34:25):
God made them.

Speaker 1 (01:34:26):
So you think that this is like God's army?
Yeah, god disobeyed him.
So you think that this is likeGod's army?
Yeah, they're not very goodexcept her.
They're terrible.
They're really bad at theirjobs.

Speaker 2 (01:34:36):
Mostly she just hires people that suck.
Maybe it's just her, maybe it'sjust her and Tuch.

Speaker 1 (01:34:41):
See, I think she just hires people off the street to
come and die for her.

Speaker 2 (01:34:46):
That makes sense.

Speaker 1 (01:34:47):
She's like, hey, god wants you to do this.
I'm like, okay, and thenthey're dead.

Speaker 2 (01:34:51):
How did she get back from the Lusitania?

Speaker 1 (01:34:54):
She explains it at some point Teleported.

Speaker 2 (01:34:56):
Satuchi's, like you tried mercy.
When did they try mercy?
When?

Speaker 1 (01:35:02):
she didn't kill Natalie Portman.

Speaker 2 (01:35:06):
But machine guns Okay , whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:35:10):
But they didn't hit anybody right, they just were
the scare tactic.

Speaker 2 (01:35:14):
And we can't.
This has to be hidden Becauseit's too powerful.

Speaker 1 (01:35:18):
The key or the fountain at this point.
Sure, the fountain.

Speaker 2 (01:35:23):
It gives her, like this magic key To use in case of
Very good.

Speaker 1 (01:35:28):
So now is that a fail ?
Safe for the fountain of youth?

Speaker 2 (01:35:34):
someone built in like a termination yes, because they
needed to have it all open forwhen humanity was ready.
For what?
For the power to get the power.

Speaker 1 (01:35:49):
As far as I can tell, you, don't get power no, you
get.

Speaker 2 (01:35:52):
They explained it you get health, wealth, health and
wealth.
No, you get three things.

Speaker 1 (01:35:57):
You get health, wealth and beauty but you killed
everyone you love, yeah.
So who's ever gonna be readyfor that?
That doesn't.
That's not a like.
Humans aren't ready to killeveryone.
They love to become morepowerful.
What are you talking about?
This guy, I'll do it, danlisten.

(01:36:17):
You're going to be the guy thatturns old immediately because
all you care about is yourself.
All right, that's the problem,right?
So, like, the people that arewilling to do that are the
people that care aboutthemselves Boom, they're dead.
The people that are willing todo that are the people that care
about themselves Boom, they'redead.
The people that aren't willingto kill all their loved ones are
the people that it won't workfor.

Speaker 2 (01:36:39):
So what are we trying to accomplish with the fountain
?
There's like some mix that theyexplain that I didn't
understand where you can pull itoff.
It doesn't make any sense.
Maybe the enlightened person.

Speaker 1 (01:36:51):
If you put Jesus down there, he'd be like I'm good
with things, so then nobodywould die and he'd become
powerful because he loves.
Yes, but that doesn't make anysense because, then he doesn't
love anybody.
It's not like he loveseverybody.
That means he loves nobody.

Speaker 2 (01:37:06):
I don't know man, this fountain doesn't make any
sense.
That's he?
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:37:11):
This fountain doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 2 (01:37:13):
I'm sorry, it doesn't make any sense so they go, they
go to the center of the pyramid.
Everybody's battling on thewhat's his name is brought the
rich guys, brought all thesebodyguards and then, yeah, okay,
so they're, they're at thepyramids of Giza, right?
I don't know if they're, theymust be in the big pyramid.

(01:37:33):
I've been there, I don't know.
Of course I've been there, youknow, world traveler.

Speaker 1 (01:37:38):
Dan's been everywhere .
Good golly.

Speaker 2 (01:37:41):
I tried to go to some of the good places while I
still was young enough to get tothem.
Smart, there is no one there.
We already talked about this.

Speaker 1 (01:37:48):
a little Not a um smart.
There is no one there.
We already talked about this alittle.
Not a soul in sight.
Yeah, no, but nobody else isthere whatsoever.
It's the weirdest thing ever,and so it doesn't make any sense
eventually the the rich guy,who is the bad guy.

Speaker 2 (01:38:00):
His people are fighting with the protectors and
they're fighting with interpoland they're using machine guns,
and it's just the dumbest thingin the world, giant turret guns
like they're.

Speaker 1 (01:38:10):
they're not using machine guns and it's just the
dumbest thing in the world.
Giant turret guns.
They're not just machine guns,they're like military grade
defense systems.

Speaker 2 (01:38:17):
I don't understand, but it's only like pointing in
one direction.

Speaker 1 (01:38:21):
If you walked up behind them, correct they would
have just drove around the backof the pyramid and come up.
That way they're fine.

Speaker 2 (01:38:27):
Nobody's there.
This is so weird and I mean,you know, the pyramids are
freaking huge that whole Are yousure they don't seem that big?

Speaker 1 (01:38:37):
I'm just gonna tell you that now that whole complex
is just like it's enormous.

Speaker 2 (01:38:41):
You have to ride camels to get places and it's-.
It looks like maybe two blocksand it is right outside of town.
It's not like an hour or twoaway.

Speaker 1 (01:38:50):
It's like right outside of town.
No, there's no town in thedistance, dan.
It's empty desert for lots ofmiles.
There's only one road in andout, from what I could tell, and
the pyramid is like maybe twoblocks at best.

Speaker 2 (01:39:03):
Oh my God, the kid figures it out.
And what do you have to do toget into the central tunnel down
to the?

Speaker 1 (01:39:13):
well, I guess, you like play the bongos.
Those are called steel drums.

Speaker 2 (01:39:20):
Steel drums, sorry.
And then it, and then it floats.

Speaker 1 (01:39:28):
This would have been the greatest movie ever if
they'd had an octopus.

Speaker 2 (01:39:31):
do that, I like this because it's about resonance and
you know they set up thisresonance, you know where it's
like Sort of, and it causes thisbig heavy thing to sort of
float.

Speaker 1 (01:39:44):
And they're able to move it out of the way, but he
stops playing the music.
I don't know it like.
I feel like he stopped playingthe music, then she moved it
because it was still floating.
I was a little confused by itall it was.
It was visually and orallyinteresting I liked it for sure,

(01:40:05):
I agree.
I just think the timing was itdoesn't matter, but'd felt like
the timing was wrong Cause I waslike why is it still floating?
It should have crashed to theground by now.

Speaker 2 (01:40:16):
What's the?
Is that that little mermaid?
What's the little mermaid song?

Speaker 1 (01:40:19):
That was the little mermaid.
It's close to it.

Speaker 2 (01:40:23):
Okay, they slide it out of the way.
Murph steps in the way.
Oh, murph got shot to save Deb.
Okay, that's good, they walkthrough this one hallway where
there's all these Paradoxicalinscriptions I keep getting.
These emails from Barack Obamaand they're titled I'd love to

(01:40:44):
meet you.

Speaker 1 (01:40:46):
Say yes, oh my god say yes.

Speaker 2 (01:40:49):
He's been watching our videos and I'm turning him
on say yes to the dress.

Speaker 1 (01:40:53):
My friend, go meet barack.

Speaker 2 (01:40:55):
Good guy, good guy okay, so there's paradoxical
inscriptions, and then they findthe tree of life at the end.
Are they?

Speaker 1 (01:41:03):
paradoxical.
It all sounds mostly just likehey, don't do it, I don't know.
That seems to be what they allboil down to.
They were just weird.

Speaker 2 (01:41:11):
It was like I don't know, I couldn't, I couldn't
write down the paradoxes.

Speaker 1 (01:41:15):
It's basically like if you drink, it'll be good and
bad, and so you just don't do it.

Speaker 2 (01:41:21):
I don't know.
There's a tree of life carvingand then Charlotte's like well,
here's a marble.
Maybe we'll just put that rightin the middle and that'll open
it Right down the chute, andthen it goes, and then it opens
the door, all these dimes comeout, like dimes, jeff.
Okay, then there's thisgigantic room.

(01:41:46):
He pushes, he cranks thislittle onk button, then it's
just.

Speaker 1 (01:41:51):
It's the same symbol we've seen, but this one.
He's like what if I turn thisglobe this time?
As if he would know it'sdifferent than the last one.

Speaker 2 (01:41:59):
I don't know you mean he doesn't have to actually
think or figure anything out, hejust does a random thing and it
works perfectly the first timea button, and then it just goes.
Yeah, it looks like a button,but I'll turn it like a knob.

Speaker 1 (01:42:11):
I'm intelligent, I did it Kudos.

Speaker 2 (01:42:15):
Out, come all these stairs.
They walk down there.
I wrote more charactersshooting at each other that we
don't care about.
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:42:24):
Yeah, because they're just shooting outside, just
over and over, shooting,shooting, shooting.
It's ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (01:42:29):
There's a beam of light because there's a hole now
in the ceiling, yeah, and thenthere's a little hole.
And then what makes the holesort of open?
It just opens, I guess, thehole down to the fountain.
Yeah, sure.
So they open and then they walkdown some more stairs and
there's a little bit of water.
Tony, what would be the firstthing you would do if you had

(01:42:53):
gotten to the fountain of youthat this point, at this point?
What is the first thing youwould do?

Speaker 1 (01:42:59):
Drink, I'd drink it.
I would drink all of it, wouldyou really?
Yeah, because there's only alittle bit left.
I don't want anyone else to getit.

Speaker 2 (01:43:09):
So I'd drink it all.
No, I'm saying truthfully, whatwould you actually do?

Speaker 1 (01:43:13):
I would take out my cell phone, I would take
pictures.
That would be the first thing Iwould do.
It's weird that nobody evertakes out their cell phone and
takes pictures of these veryfamous things.
You know what I mean.
Seems like a huge mistake.

Speaker 2 (01:43:26):
I would go down there and fill a fucking vial full of
the water.
Sure, have a fucking fountainof youth.
That's what you're there Isn'tthe idea you're gonna put some
in a bottle and then take?

Speaker 1 (01:43:38):
it out and take it to a lab.
Isn't that the idea?
I would take my phone out, Dan.

Speaker 2 (01:43:42):
I would turn around and I'd do that weird pointy one
.

Speaker 1 (01:43:44):
I was like, oh, and then I'd take a picture of me in
the fountain, yeah, F of Y.

Speaker 2 (01:43:55):
Hashtag F of Y Well there we have two competing
ideas, but both of them makeperfect sense to me.
Mine is like practical.
This is, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:44:08):
Sure, yours is the reason why we're there why the
fuck'm gonna drink it.
I mean bad idea I'm gonna makeme drink it later, but right
once you see, I mean bill's bill, what's his name in this movie?
He plays bill in harry potter.
He's bill weasley uh but thebad guy oh, we're being too loud
, no, we're not.
Oh man, we got in trouble.

(01:44:29):
Oh, we got in trouble.
We got shushed.

Speaker 2 (01:44:33):
It's too late in the evening okay, the guy, the guy
that plays harry potter in theharry potter.
Yeah, so the guy who's in harrypotter he's like hey, somebody
drink it first.

Speaker 1 (01:44:42):
That's what you have to do.
Yeah, that's the move.
Yeah, don't be the guinea pigLike.
I'm all fully on board with hisplan so far.

Speaker 2 (01:44:51):
So what happens?
Let's see, I wrote somethingdown.

Speaker 1 (01:44:54):
He's like hey, luke, go drink.
And Luke's like, nah, dog, I'mnot going to drink.
And then he's like well, I'mgoing to shoot you somewhere,
and we're not totally sure where.

Speaker 2 (01:45:03):
And then he gets shot .

Speaker 1 (01:45:14):
Around the arm, around the arm chest hole area.
He goes down there, he drinkssome of it.
Well, he doesn't drink it, healmost drinks it, he he's got it
cupped in his hands and then hehas like a whole lion king
moment where he sees himself andthen maybe his dad, and then
maybe his, his sister and herkid growing old, which is the
visions he's been seeing thisentire time, which doesn't make
any sense whatsoever.

Speaker 2 (01:45:32):
Yeah, why would he have pre-visions?
It doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 1 (01:45:35):
But he has them, he has a bunch of them.
If he was psychic, I'd be likeoh, he's psychic, he has some
sort of power because he ishaving premonitions of the
fountain of youth and now that'sthe only reason he doesn't
drink.
Is he's like, well, maybe thesevisions have been real the
whole time.
Maybe God is, he's a prophet,he's?

Speaker 2 (01:45:53):
a prophet, he's a prophet Luke.

Speaker 1 (01:45:55):
There you go.
That's the ending of Fountainof Youth.
He's God's prophet.
It's a sandworm blood.

Speaker 2 (01:46:00):
Okay, it's picked up by the water.
And he's having all thesedreams and there's lightning,
lightning, lightning lightning.
Yeah All weird.
Lightning lightning, yeah allweird.
Uh, he sees his fate, sees hisfate.
He keeps him, like his face,young ish, I guess well, because
that's what he that's.

Speaker 1 (01:46:15):
The benefits is, he will look younger because he's
getting.
He's not old beauty.

Speaker 2 (01:46:20):
That's the whole thing, he's not even close to
old.

Speaker 1 (01:46:23):
Well, but listen, once you pass 25, it's all
downhill buddy, okay.

Speaker 2 (01:46:27):
Truth to that.
Uh, he sees people getting old,his arm heals, then he shoots
him a bunch and then they allheal they all heal and then he
gets free.
Now wait a second so he didn'tdrink it he didn't drink it.

Speaker 1 (01:46:42):
That's why he survived why did he get?
the whole, because.
So, from here's what I think isthe real answer yeah, is that
the fountain of youth?
If you drink, it is too muchand will do bad things, oh, okay
, that makes sense.
So if you, if you refuse todrink it because you're not
consumed by wealth, power, greed, whatever it heals you or does

(01:47:04):
something, but that doesn't makeany real sense because, uh,
esme, at the end is like veryfew people could face the
fountain and not drink, andthat's what.
And then he's like, oh, so I'mimpressive, which isn't true
because it's not impressive,because he's had visions the
whole time that have told himthat it's going to be bad if he
drinks.
So that's cheating, in myopinion.

(01:47:25):
Um, but that seems to be theway you're supposed to use it.

Speaker 2 (01:47:31):
Maybe oh, so you just go in there, you lay in it and
then you feel better?
I think so, so I wonder if youcould regrow a foot you want to
try it?

Speaker 1 (01:47:40):
yeah, let's go I bet you could, because those bullet
holes just close up.
In fact he doesn't even seem tofeel the bullet.
You know, like he gets shot inthe water and then we cut back
and he's got holes all the waythrough him.
So they passed all the waythrough his body and he doesn't
seem to care at all but I thinkyou have to be injured for it to
activate I mean that makessense because, well, because you

(01:48:01):
have to.

Speaker 2 (01:48:01):
Just then owen walks out blood owen did he drip blood
into the water did that happen.

Speaker 1 (01:48:06):
He cuts his hand.
No, no, no.
The first time when he got shot.

Speaker 2 (01:48:09):
Did some of that blood go into the water?

Speaker 1 (01:48:11):
so the you it shows a shot of blood dripping down his
arm, somehow because his shirthas no blood on it, so I don't
know where it's coming from, buthe does have blood that drips
down his arm and goes into thewater okay.

Speaker 2 (01:48:26):
So owen goes down there and he's all like well,
that's enough of a test for me.
You're like which is what?

Speaker 1 (01:48:31):
by the way, because I don't know what I just saw, so
I'm not getting in that wateryet.

Speaker 2 (01:48:35):
So he cuts himself drips it in, there gets grabbed.
It takes about one tenth thetime.

Speaker 1 (01:48:41):
This time it's just like which is good, because last
time was way too long.
There should have been a medium, a medium length for both.

Speaker 2 (01:48:50):
So he drinks it and then he just shivers and he
turns into dust Just turns oldBecause he doesn't love anybody.

Speaker 1 (01:48:57):
So basically the idea is yeah, he just loves himself.
If you drink, you're gonna getyoung and You're stealing the
youth of the ones you love.

Speaker 2 (01:49:06):
It is.

Speaker 1 (01:49:06):
And if you love yourself, you're just basically
taking your own essence and itdies.

Speaker 2 (01:49:11):
Yeah.
So Charlotte and the kid wouldhave just died right while he's
thin, and he'd have been youngand he'd have been like cool, he
would have been young andpowerful forever.

Speaker 1 (01:49:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:49:19):
Yeah, that's the fountain, that's their big take
on the fountain of youth.

Speaker 1 (01:49:26):
It's real dumb.

Speaker 2 (01:49:28):
Oh, that's the thing.
And then she, esme, uses theStanley Coochie Key, and then it
starts and everything startsshutting down.
They all run up the stairs andget away.

Speaker 1 (01:49:42):
So here's my question , dan, why?
Because she's actually too late.
Both people have already usedthe fountain.
The bad guy killed himself inthe fountain.

Speaker 2 (01:49:53):
They know where it is .
Somebody knows where it is.

Speaker 1 (01:49:56):
I guess that's true.
They're still going to knowwhere it is, though it's just
buried now.
So now they just need moremachinery.
They run out, I don't know, andthen everybody's waiting, and
then we do the big she kisseshim on the this weird moment
where she's like I'm veryattracted to you, but if you try

(01:50:16):
to steal more stuff I'll killyou.

Speaker 2 (01:50:18):
And there's actually a good joke where he's all like
oh, there's more stuff, Do youhave a?

Speaker 1 (01:50:23):
list Right, that's a good joke.
Yes, it's a good joke, yeah,yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:50:31):
She, yeah, yeah, she, yeah.
It is a good joke, but it'sthat's it.
It's just one in the wholemovie and it's the last line of
the movie, little late.

Speaker 1 (01:50:34):
It's about two hours and one minute late.

Speaker 2 (01:50:36):
I'll tell you that um , I wrote I was glad because the
kid didn't have asthma.
What a low bar.

Speaker 1 (01:50:53):
And then I also said Well, they didn't give the kid
some sort of impediment, sokudos to them, and this is the
line I would have given the kidat the end.

Speaker 2 (01:51:00):
Goodbye, uncle Luke.
Thanks for not killing me.

Speaker 1 (01:51:03):
Yeah, that would have been good.
I would have liked it a lot.

Speaker 2 (01:51:06):
There you go.
That's anything else you wantto say about this movie, tony,
because we've been.

Speaker 1 (01:51:09):
I liked it a lot.
There you go.
Anything else you want to sayabout this movie, Tony?
They set it up for a sequel, sofingers crossed.

Speaker 2 (01:51:14):
Let's get a sequel.
I can't even begin to tell youhow happy that would make me be,
yeah this movie it clips long.
It didn't feel super long to me, but then again the action
scenes you just check outbecause you're just like, yeah,
I mean it's not engaging.

Speaker 1 (01:51:30):
And I read a bunch of articles this week yeah, and
it's all you know, it's, it'sthe second screen viewing
nonsense.
And they're all like, yeah, youknow you, the reason why they
say things multiple times isbecause they expect you to be
doing something else or checkingyour phone, and it's like, even
with that.
Those aren't even my problemswith the movie.

(01:51:53):
My problem with the movie isthat nobody's charming.
There's no, okay, there's nogood character work.
The plot is stupid.
I'm not having that much funlike the, the one, the.
The thing that this movie'smissing is any sort of fun.
You can still dumb it down andhave fun.
I just don't.

Speaker 2 (01:52:09):
I just don't agree that that that's necessary it's
like is it that much easier tomake a second screen movie than
it is to make a?

Speaker 1 (01:52:20):
it seems like they're purposely working against
themselves to make it worse.
That's what it feels like it's,it's it's.

Speaker 2 (01:52:27):
It's a sort of dopey idea where where you're like,
well, excuse, my terrible movie,it's a second screen movie,
you're really not supposed to bewatching it.
You're really not supposed toever want to watch it a second
time well, mission accomplished.
I will never watch this asecond time you know, and
there's so many movies that havemuch less, much lower budget
that you're like I'm gonna buyphysical media of that, I'm

(01:52:49):
going to watch this every year Amillion percent.
If you made an action figure ofthat, I'm going to buy that
action.
You know it's like making amovie that's mediocre and then
acting like that was your plan.
I do not believe that is theplan.
I know that they want it to bea minimum of that.
Sure, but the plan is not forit to only be that.

Speaker 1 (01:53:10):
Right, Like that's, that's like the worst case
scenario.
They're like we won't even makethis movie unless it's at least
this.
And you're like well, sure, Ican clear that by nothing.
Just ride that line perfectlyall the way through.

Speaker 2 (01:53:26):
Mediocrity at its best, there you know Now we're
talking about something we liked.
This week I watched the showDepartment Q.
I don't know if I talked aboutthis last time.

Speaker 1 (01:53:38):
I think you mentioned it, because that sounds
familiar.
I think I watched one or twoScottish mystery.
Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:53:45):
Just you know, you just watch something like that.
You know nine episodes.
I got a little confused becauseof the characters a couple of
times, but just so much goodacting.
And there's like this one turnwhere his life is just miserable
and then he just has one tinypositive thing Not tiny, I mean

(01:54:09):
it was an important thing, nottiny, I mean it was an important
thing but you were just likeone good thing happens to him
and you're just like there it is.
He's in the groove, he's earnedthat one good thing happening
by slogging through all thisshit and that's the thing about

(01:54:29):
this movie is through all thisshit, through the shit and
that's the thing about thismovie is these characters didn't
slog through any shit.

Speaker 1 (01:54:34):
They almost go through nothing.
Nobody cares about anythingthat they do Like there's no
consequences to any of theiractions.
There's nothing.

Speaker 2 (01:54:43):
Indiana Jones is covered in dust and blood.

Speaker 1 (01:54:47):
Yes, yeah, because they get the shit kicked out of
themselves Like they're nothaving a good day.
Sure, they win at the end, butit's not easy.
It is not easy.

Speaker 2 (01:54:59):
My favorite, probably my favorite Marvel thing is the
Hawkeye series, and there's onepoint at which he goes back and
has to, like you know, heactually teaches the new Hawkeye
how to apply bandages to alltheir cuts and bruises.
Oh, interesting, and you'rejust like this is the reality of

(01:55:19):
it.
It's not like we're degraded,Nothing can hurt us.
No, it's like you're gettingthe shit beat out of you and
you're going out there the nextday because you got to get
something done.
And that whole show is about.
Everybody in that thing wantsup.
They all desperately wantsomething.
He wants to get back to hisfamily.
She wants to be Hawkeye.

(01:55:41):
Yelena wants to avenge hersister.
These are, these are bigcharacters with big wants you
know this movie.
What, what?
Why are you doing this?
Well, sir, our family name.

Speaker 1 (01:55:53):
What are you talking about which doesn't?
And they talk about their dadwith such reverence that I just
don't feel like they have a badfamily name.

Speaker 2 (01:56:02):
And we didn't Right.
I don't know who that dad is.

Speaker 1 (01:56:05):
No, we don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:56:06):
We don't meet him, we don't understand him, we don't
know who he is, what he is,where he stands in the world.
No one ever says, oh my God,your dad.
They don't ever deal withanything about who this dad
might mean.

Speaker 1 (01:56:20):
Which is interesting because National Treasure.
That is also the motivation,because everyone has turned on
them in the historical communityyeah.
Yeah yeah, like they call themquacks, like we see it happen.
And I believe there's a pointwhere Nicholas Cage is like I'm
glad, I think he said something,like I'm glad I'm not crazy,
like everyone thought my dad andmy granddad and my great

(01:56:42):
granddad like there's a jokeabout it, where his whole family
lineage has been like laughedat in the community and he's
finally vindicated.
I'm pretty sure that happens.

Speaker 2 (01:56:51):
Yeah, this is real, these are real things, you know.
Yeah, and I think in the thirdIndiana Jones movie where Sean
Connery comes and plays his dad,there's a bunch of stuff about
that, because his dad has beensearching for whatever oh, the
Last Supper goblet, right, thechalice, chalice, chalice.
And he's been.
You know, he's just like he'sbecome his dad, but he still

(01:57:15):
kinda has problems with how hisdad Was his dad.

Speaker 1 (01:57:18):
Does Yep, yep.

Speaker 2 (01:57:20):
Wow, it's almost like Boy.

Speaker 1 (01:57:22):
That's life right there.

Speaker 2 (01:57:23):
It's there.
We have some stuff that aCharacter has to Fucking chew on
yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:57:29):
No, I'm just doing a thing, not for this movie second
screen viewing.

Speaker 2 (01:57:34):
Everybody don't worry about it tony, what did you
like this week?

Speaker 1 (01:57:39):
I'll give you a hint.
Are you ready?
You're never gonna get it.
You're ready.
That is the sound they makewhen you come back from
commercial on Love Island USA.
It's back, everybody, the besttime of the year.
We are four episodes in.
Oh boy, I'm having a blast.

Speaker 2 (01:57:59):
Is Love Island your favorite one in Love Island US?

Speaker 1 (01:58:02):
So well, I think boy they're all a little bit
different.

Speaker 2 (01:58:07):
It's tough.

Speaker 1 (01:58:08):
The UK is like the OG Boy.
They're all a little bitdifferent.
You know it's tough.
The UK is like the OG, butsometimes I have a hard time
understanding what they'resaying, which is like very
American of me.
I know my problem with the USAone is all the people are so
shitty Like we are the worstpeople in the world, without a
doubt.

(01:58:29):
It's easiest to find the mosthorrible people in the world in
America, yeah're always soterrible and, like every show
has a couple of people.
They're like, oh man, thisguy's garbage.
I can't wait to watch what hegoes through.
But the usa is always like,where do they find all these
shit people?
And it just turns outeverywhere, like we're just not
great people, which makes greattelevision but also makes me sad
at the same time.
So maybe australia?
Maybe that's my favorite of theof the love islands, but uh,

(01:58:52):
because they all seem likepretty genuinely nice people and
they're just like good night,mike, let's go surfing.
Uh, I like them, you know, butanyhow, it's, it's usa time.
Uh, uk starts on the 12th, butwe're not going to watch it live
, um, because we got to stickwith usa I was watching one of
the shows.

Speaker 2 (01:59:09):
I watched and, and they were talking about reality
TV and they were talking abouthow reality TV where the people
are good is the really mostpowerful reality TV.
Sure.

Speaker 1 (01:59:18):
The other stuff gets watched plenty, but you know,
but for the wrong, not even thewrong reasons.
It is why they make it.
But it's trash, but we have fun.
It is trash.

Speaker 2 (01:59:29):
Yeah, so this week Shannon got to pick the movie.
Oh shout out to Shannon.
I had like four or five moviesand I was like which of these
should I do?
And she's like this is whatyou're going to do.
This is the one she hasn't hada pick since.
We did Blue Lagoon, which waspretty classic, Wild, Pretty
classic.
So this one's you know a littlebit in the past.

(01:59:51):
Yeah, okay, okay, but it's oneof your favorite actors.

Speaker 1 (01:59:56):
Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 (01:59:57):
Tom Cruise.

Speaker 1 (02:00:00):
TC okay Playing another mythical monster.
Playing a mythical monster.
Are vampires mythical?
Is that what we're doing?
Are we doing interview with thevampire?
Oh boy.
We have to watch kirsten dunstkiss a grown man oh man, it's
gonna be weird all right, Idon't.

Speaker 2 (02:00:21):
I don't think I've ever seen this movie, I think
I've watched.

Speaker 1 (02:00:23):
You've never seen this movie, oh boy this was the
90s, probably right.

Speaker 2 (02:00:26):
Yeah, I told you it was the 90s, probably right.
I told you it was the 90s.
There's a lot of things in the90s I didn't do.

Speaker 1 (02:00:30):
I believe I've only seen this in the 90s and I think
my takeaway was snooze fest, soI'm excited to see what it
looks like as an adult.
Yeah, so we're going to seeevery teen girl's dream, tom
Cruise and Brad Pitt, Becausethe problem is like, I watched
Lost Boys as a kid growing up.
So then it was like oh, vampiremovie and it's not the same

(02:00:51):
kind of vampire movie at all.

Speaker 2 (02:00:53):
This is not a vampire movie for teen boys whatsoever.

Speaker 1 (02:00:57):
No, it is not.

Speaker 2 (02:00:58):
All right.

Speaker 1 (02:00:58):
I'm excited to see this.
As an adult, this will be fun.

Speaker 2 (02:01:01):
It'll be interesting to sort of go back there and
look at it through our weirdeyes.

Speaker 1 (02:01:04):
Great pick Shannon.

Speaker 2 (02:01:05):
Well done, she knows how to pick them.
Shannon, well done, she knowshow to pick them, so we'll be
back.
If you like what you do, giveus a comment, a thumbs up, or
leave or subscribe.
This is gonna be our longestepisode ever.

Speaker 1 (02:01:20):
I mean yeah we had tech difficulties, but we're
over two hours for sure thismight be a two hour episode this
movie deserved it.

Speaker 2 (02:01:30):
Tony was angry.
This movie I was absolutely notthe worst movie we've seen, but
just wrong-headed wastedpotential on all fronts.

Speaker 1 (02:01:39):
It could have been great.
I was excited, for it reallymissed the mark.
See you later.
Goodbye, everybody, everybody.
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