Hate Watching Minecraft: Let Our Hips Be Your Guide

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Minecraft: The Movie had all the ingredients for disaster - a video game with no story, a director known for divisive comedies, and the challenge of bringing blocky visuals to life. Yet somehow, this cubic adventure emerges as one of the most genuinely entertaining family films of the year.

Jack Black brings manic energy as Steve, a doorknob salesman who discovers a portal to the Minecraft world and builds his own cubic paradise. When the evil Malgosia (played with delightful villainy) threatens to conquer this realm, Steve teams up with Garrett (Jason Momoa in what might be his most enjoyable role yet), a washed-up gamer who stumbles upon a mysterious artifact. 

What makes Minecraft work isn't its plot - which is paper-thin - but its commitment to embracing absurdity with open arms. Night comes every twenty minutes, characters craft elaborate structures with a single bang on a table, and physics operates on game logic rather than reality. Director Jared Hess (Napoleon Dynamite) fills every frame with visual gags and references that will delight fans without alienating newcomers.

The film's standout moments include a flying sequence where Momoa instructs Black to "let my hips be your guide" while soaring through canyons, a wrestling match featuring the rare "chicken jockey" enemy, and perhaps the funniest villain death scene in recent memory involving multiple hidden knives. Jennifer Coolidge provides perfect comedic relief as a recently divorced school administrator who falls for one of the blocky villagers, believing his inability to speak means "he's Swedish."

Unlike many video game adaptations that struggle with their source material, Minecraft leans fully into what makes the game special - creativity, discovery, and the joy of building something from nothing. It's a rollercoaster ride that prioritizes fun over logic, and it's all the better for it.

Have you played Minecraft or watched the film? We'd love to hear your thoughts! Subscribe to the podcast for more discussions about surprising cinematic adventures that defy expectations.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, I'm excited to see the movie someday.
Yeah, me too.
Do it for this stupid show.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Yeah, maybe it'll be really good and we'll have to
eat our words.

Speaker 1 (00:12):
Kind of like we're going to do this week.
Kind of like we're going to dothis week.
Hey, watch it With Dan and Tony.
Hey, watch it With Dan and Tony.
It's like watchin'.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
Yeah, Welcome to hey Watchin' with Dan and Tony.
I am Dan, I am Tony On thisshow.
We watch a movie, we talk aboutthe movie and typically the
movie is beyond terrible, asevidenced by the movie we did
last week.
Which man?
It might have moved up in thetop ten of the worst, all the

(00:48):
absolute worst movies we've everseen.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
I think that's easy, easily top ten, maybe top five.
If I'm being honest, I stronglydisliked it.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
It was because the thing about just to talk about
the movie we did last week DriveAway, dolls, driveaway.
Dolls, yeah it had the money,it had studio back, it had
everything going for it.
It had people that ostensiblyare actors.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
It wasn't like.

Speaker 2 (01:19):
Todd just sent us this movie where Gary Busey is a
rich guy who dies and thencomes back as a white Pomeranian
and has to I didn't read thismessage yet.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
I saw him send something and I didn't read it
yet, but that's incredible.

Speaker 2 (01:36):
It's one of those Christian movies, one of those
financed by Christians.

Speaker 1 (01:41):
Love that yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
God brings him back as a dog to you know, whatever
you know direct to video you,you know that that movie's gonna
have an amount of problems, youknow from from technical to
sound, to editing you know just,but it'll be fun driveway dolls
not a lot of fun no, not a lotof anything.

(02:05):
I I did not like that movie butyou know it's the, it's the
whole thing.
It had everything in its corner.
You know everything you couldget in your corner for a movie
to be good and well, except forit made one big mistake, dan,
the accent it hot.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
Well, okay, it made two big mistakes it hired a, a
Cohen, and it let someone dothat stupid accent.
Those were your two biggestmistakes.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
So, Tony, what movie are we talking about this week?
That didn't make those twomistakes.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
Yeah, so we course corrected I might have over
course corrected.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
I went into the what was the Chasm movie?
We watched the Gorge.
I went into the what was theChasm movie?

Speaker 1 (02:45):
we watched the Gorge.
I went into the Gorge, yeah,and I was like you know what.
Instead of that, let's fly10,000 feet above the Gorge,
never even see the Gorge, we'llbe fine.
I don't know, it was getting alot of guff, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
People are angry.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
The tomato score is pretty mixed for critics, not
for audience.
Audience is pretty positive.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
Critics are 50% and audiences 88%, which.
I mean that's good, that'ssimilar to what Mission
Impossible is at right now,which I mean?
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
I don't know either.
I haven't seen it.
I haven't seen it.
I haven't gotten off my butt toget to a theater to see.
Mission impossible for threehours, can't do it dan I can't
sit in the theater it's twohours 40 something and that's.
I can't do it.
I can't do that in anuncomfortable theater seat.
I'm 40 years old, my butt hurts, my back hurts.
I can't do it.
I thought they made comfortabletheater seats now okay, well, so

(03:40):
now we now we're going to get alittle theater talk here.
We have two theaters near us.
We have an AMC, which isincredibly uncomfortable, but
delightful food, you know hotdogs, mozzarella sticks
everything you could want frommovie theater food.
And then we have the LookDining Cinemas and it's one of
those reclining seats.

(04:02):
They're very comfortable.
That food is absolute trash.
It is garbage.
I've tried almost everything onthe menu and I eat like half of
it and throw the rest away.
It is trash.
They need to work on that.
Now here's the thing If I'mgoing to see a two-hour
40-minute movie, I'm going toneed to eat some food, so I just
can't do it.
I have wait till it comes,comes home, so I can make my own

(04:23):
food, my own hot dogs wait andget through it.

Speaker 2 (04:26):
You're gonna wait for mission impossible to watch it
at home on a home screen, I haveto, I can't do it in theater.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
I can't do it.
I physically can't do it, danwow quentin tarantino's rolling
over in his grave first of all,good, I don't like him either.
Tarantino also sucks.
Tarantino and the coen brothersthe most two overrated
directors of all time but youlike the, the one with the the.

Speaker 2 (04:50):
You know the guys in it promise you I didn't.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
I have never enjoyed a tarantino film never, not a
single one.

Speaker 2 (04:59):
You didn't like mr pink and mr black and all that
that Dogs.

Speaker 1 (05:03):
No, don't like that movie, absolute hogwash.
Anyhow, let's get back to whatwe're doing this week Biggest
movie in the world.

Speaker 2 (05:15):
Minecraft.
We're learning things about you, tony oh Minecraft.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
That's the movie.

Speaker 2 (05:19):
We're doing Minecraft this week.

Speaker 1 (05:20):
That's what we're doing this week.
Sorry, it took too long to getto it, but yeah, we're doing
Minecraft this week.
Jack Black, jason Momoa, someyounger people, I don't know,
and the guy that did NapoleonDynamite, one of the worst films
of all time, and he did itagain.
And he did it again, knocked itout of the park.

(05:43):
Top level Dan thoughts.

Speaker 2 (05:49):
Was never bored.

Speaker 1 (05:51):
No, no, you're never bored in this movie, that's true
.

Speaker 2 (05:54):
There were never terrible accents.
No, that's true, there were.
I mean, that's a pretty low bar.
We got to start somewhere.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
I mean that's a pretty low bar.
We've got to start somewhere.
If you just sound like a humanthroughout the movie, that's two
thumbs up from Dan.

Speaker 2 (06:18):
There were a number of jokes that I thoroughly
enjoyed, that I thought werereally really good jokes.
I do feel that this felt alittle bit.
You know, I mean they're goingto make another one and maybe a
third.
I mean not hopefully, but youknow I can imagine they're going
to make a third.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
They're going to milk it.
They made a lot of money.
How many Jumanji's did theymake, Like the new ones?
Two right.

Speaker 2 (06:38):
Was it only two?

Speaker 1 (06:39):
I don't think they made a third.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
I don't think they made a third.
I don't think they made a thirdeither.
Um, and that that is thecomparable movie to this.
This movie is like the jumanjimovies, I think.

Speaker 1 (06:50):
I think maybe they did make a third.
I don't think they did.
Jumanji 3 sets december 2026release date.
They are supposedly making athird yeah, so those movies, the
first.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
I did not like the original Jumanji movie at all,
disliked it immensely.
I'm sorry with Robin.

Speaker 1 (07:09):
Williams.
I'm not a big Robin Williamsmovie fan you got.
Dan, you got to quit thepodcast.
You got to quit, you got to gohome.
What do you mean?
You're not a big Robin Williams.
That movie is amazing.
The original Jumanji is astaple of my childhood.

Speaker 2 (07:23):
Yeah, Original Jumanji is a staple of my
childhood.
Yeah Well, yeah, it's a kid'smovie and I did not see it when
I was a kid.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
That's fair.
That's fair.
Well, I didn't see this movieas a kid, and it don't matter.
I do think that this movie is akid's movie.
I don't know if it's a kid'smovie, it's definitely a tween
movie.
Okay, you know what I mean.
It's definitely a tween movie.
Okay, you know what I mean.
Like it's an older kid, not anadult.
That's where it lands, I think.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
There's one point at which they do like the montage
of making the stuff and you'relike how did they get back to
the town?
If you want to look at all thatstuff, the time is crunched,
the locations are crunched andin a real, what I would call a
good, good movie, you can't, youcan't play those.

(08:08):
You gotta kind of if you go onthe big journey and then you're
back to where you started in in10 seconds.
Yeah, it's a little the movies.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
It's held together with duct tape, right, but where
you go in each scene is fine.
It's worth it like if you, ifyou, want to look at this and be
like well, narratively thismovie doesn't make a lot of
sense.
That's fine, it doesn't.
You're absolutely right.
It's not supposed to likethere's, it's not.

(08:39):
That's not what we're here for.
We're here to to make jokes,references and have a lot of fun
.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
That's kind of it, and I really feel like they
didn't spend their, they didn'twaste their time doing pop
culture references.
It really felt like they madelots of game references which I
could tell there were some.
I didn't get, and so I was likethe chicken j you know everyone

(09:08):
screams and loses their minds Iwas like chicken jockey.
It didn't mean anything to me,but I thought it was an amuse.
I thought it was amusing, but Ididn't.
I didn't.
Well, just for reference.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
Uh, chicken jockeys very rare it's, I think they I
think they have like a 0.04chance of spawning in the
overworld, something like that,and so it's important.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
But I mean, everybody plays the game, knows exactly
what it is Right, and so when ithappens, you're like, oh my god
, Chicka Jocky happened orwhatever.
You know that would not be ifyou were to go.
Well, what are the scenes thatreally work for you?
I would have been like that wasfine.
Whatever it doesn't mean, butthat's the biggest scene in the
movie, for for most of the fans.

Speaker 1 (09:47):
But then you ask yourself like why are they in a
wrestling ring?
How did they get to thewrestling?
What's actually happening?
You have no idea.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
Why is the black character tied up, but Jason
Ramone's character is not tied?

Speaker 1 (09:58):
up, and then he, he ties himself.

Speaker 2 (10:03):
It is not a movie that's going to answer those
questions.
But once they get to theMinecraft and things start
rolling, it's just Jack Blackscreaming.
It is just Jack Black doesn'tever take it back down and go
like hey man.

Speaker 1 (10:15):
No, it's like Jack Black on a 12 for three months
of filming.

Speaker 2 (10:26):
That must have been a lot to handle for the entirety,
and there are a couple of timeswhere you're like is is he
gonna be okay, is his grandpagonna be okay?
And so, like you know, thinkingthere's two more of these to
come.
You're like, you know, webetter, we better.
We gotta make them quick wedon't have a lot.

Speaker 1 (10:41):
This.
This energy level from Jack isgoing to fade pretty soon, I
think.

Speaker 2 (10:52):
And I could see that kids are going to deal with that
level of energy better than oldpeople.
But the flip side of all thatis we have the energy and then
they cut to some.
When they cut back to the worldand Jennifer Coolidge is dating
the villager guy, oh my.
God, it's just weird, but it'sactually really kind of nice.
They do give you these strangebreathers where you're like it
level sets.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yeah, that's exactly what it does.
It brings it back down Insteadof having Jack go on a journey.
They're just like no, no, youstay where you are, and we'll go
out of it, and then we'll comeback.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
Yeah, it's smart Because usually the movie does
you know the characters in themovie?
Yeah, will have that interludewhere they're like now we're
going to talk about things andit's like nope, jack Black and
Jason.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
Moore are just like we're in a tent.
Don't take a break, guys.
If we slow down, we'll stop,never stop, just keep going.

Speaker 2 (11:47):
And you it and, um, you know I mean and, and so it
kind of left the kids.
It really is a jack black jasonmomoa movie.

Speaker 1 (11:50):
So it left the two kids and the woman that played
dawn not as much to do for surefor sure yeah, at some point the
sister disappears for a whileand then she came back and I was
like, oh yeah, I forgot youwere in the movie yeah, um, and
so you, you would like the kidsto have a little more to do.

Speaker 2 (12:10):
You know, I I don't know how you do that when maybe
you would like the kids to havea little more to do.

Speaker 1 (12:15):
I'm fine with exactly how little they did, sure and I
mean that's.

Speaker 2 (12:19):
You know it is.
In some ways it is not hard formovie, but it is kind of hard
for a movie to typically takewho is ostensibly your
protagonist, and I mean JasonMomoa is really the protagonist.

Speaker 1 (12:33):
Yeah, and I mean, I'm not ashamed to say this this is
his best role, best role todate.
This is the most I've enjoyed,jason Momoa, and that's after
Fast and the Furious.

Speaker 2 (12:44):
Where I also thoroughly enjoyed him Okay.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
And you know, obviously he's great as Droko,
but he just seems like he'shaving so much fun In this movie
.
Him and Jack are just havingthe time of their lives and I'm
a little jealous.

Speaker 2 (13:01):
I know the scene you like With the wings, that whole
scene, I mean the wings.

Speaker 1 (13:05):
That whole scene I mean the wings is great.
He's got it holding onto hishair and he's like let my hips
guide you Wow.

Speaker 2 (13:13):
Is that what he said?
Let my hips guide you.

Speaker 1 (13:14):
Let my hips be your guide.
It's amazing.

Speaker 2 (13:17):
And there was so much that I wrote down that you know
I didn't, I didn't really sitin this movie.
But also, you know, this wasone of those few movies where I
paused it a number of times towrite down whole things that are
like oh man, this isinteresting, yeah, and I thought
it was a nice move back to theNapoleon Dynamite Jared Hess

(13:39):
where you know it was just likethis is, and that was one of our
big problems with Driveway,driveway dolls was that a lot of
the characters felt totallylike they were in different
movies.
Yes, everybody's in this movie.

Speaker 1 (13:52):
Everyone's on board, everyone's playing the game,
everyone knows what they signedup for and we're just doing it.
We're going all the way.
You know, I got to respect it.

Speaker 2 (14:06):
And that's what I would say is, I think I enjoyed
the jumanji movies, moreespecially the second one, but I
, but I really enjoyed, but I, Iabsolutely enjoyed this movie
yeah, um, I'm surprised.

Speaker 1 (14:18):
I thought I was gonna make fun of it a bunch and I
mean there's again, there'splenty to make fun of.
Like it's not.
It's not a cohesive narrative,that's fine, I just don't care.
I had so much fun with it thatit's.
You know, I don't care, it'snot.
It's not a movie that you'resupposed to be like.
Oh, let's dissect this thing,even though that's what I said
that we should do this week, andwe will a little bit.

(14:40):
But it was fun.
It was fun, I get it.
I understand why not that.
I agree with it.
But I understand why kids weregoing crazy in the theaters
because this is this movie'sbatshit wild.
Like, if you have no adultsupervision, you're going and
you're 12, you're 13 years old,you're going hog wild.

(15:02):
I get it.

Speaker 2 (15:02):
I understand how it can happen yeah, they, they give
some breaks, but they, theynever, you know, take the foot
off the gas they're just likeyou know, every action scene is
just going to be, you know, theflying one and everything.
At a certain point I was likeeverything is flying so fast and
everything is moving so fastyou can bring it down.

(15:23):
But that's not what they wantedto do.
They wanted it to.

Speaker 1 (15:25):
No, that's not where we want to live.

Speaker 2 (15:29):
This is a car speeding right to hell.
Right, sleigh ride to hell.
This is a sleigh ride to helland it's an enjoyable sleigh
ride to hell.
You know, yeah, the show is.
What are we doing next?

Speaker 1 (15:45):
week, tony.
Uh well, I mean technicallyit's up to you, but I do have a
movie I want to do.
I'm very excited.
I think it's my choice thistime you pick.

Speaker 2 (15:52):
It is technically your choice, yeah so we start
with a little bit of uh jackblack talking and just setting
things up, and in a movie likethis you kind of need some
things to set up for old peoplelike me that have just the most
basic For all of the parents whoare bringing their kids to the
movie.

Speaker 1 (16:09):
We do need a moment to just be like okay, what is
this?
I don't understand where I am,yeah.

Speaker 2 (16:17):
So we have Steve.
He yearned for the mines.
You know, this is just aclassic shot of the kids
standing there and the old mannot letting go into the mines in
mine, yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:30):
And the next scene is the moment where I was like, oh
no, I'm going to love thismovie.

Speaker 2 (16:35):
What happens next?
I grew up.
He's selling doorknobs.
He's selling doorknobs.

Speaker 1 (16:41):
Yes, what do you mean ?
You don't sell doorknobs.
You're not a door-to-doordoorknob salesman.

Speaker 2 (16:48):
He is selling doorknobs.

Speaker 1 (16:51):
He's got a great outfit on Real nice.

Speaker 2 (16:53):
Same outfit he had on when he was a kid.
But he still remembered themines.
So he goes back.
So he's like he teaches his job, goes back there, gets his
pickaxe and then there's thatsame old miner waiting there,
the same old miner hasn't aged aday.

Speaker 1 (17:09):
Jack Black has aged 50 years.
And I was like, oh no, I'mgoing to love this movie.
What a great bit.
It's the exact same guy whohasn't changed one ounce, and
Jack Black has gone from a tinychild to a 50, 60-year-old man
with a beard.
I was like yep this is great.

Speaker 2 (17:27):
And how does he?
How does he defeat the uh minor?
The greatest line of all runsat him barely moves.

Speaker 1 (17:35):
Just I just want to listen.
Jack is not as limber as heused to be and I love that he's
going for it, but he, he doesthis tiny movement like just an
inch and he goes head fake andthe guy dies the other direction
.

Speaker 2 (17:51):
And you totally expect him to knock him over or
do something, but he just put agood little tight, you know, and
that's what a joke is Nicelittle juke move, just a little
joke juke juke, juke juke.
And you're like, okay, I'm onboard with this.
You know, this is, this is thegame we're playing.
We're, we're, we're, uh,subverting expectations.

(18:14):
Yeah, that's what, that's whatwe want.
We'll do it a bunch of timesand that's you know.
Drive away dolls.
never subverted expectations italways was just like right there
where you're like really do we,yeah, really, really, really,

(18:35):
why um face?
The miner goes in there, findstwo mysterious artifacts, puts
the artifacts together, makes aportal, goes through the portal,
ends up in the overworld, wherethere are cubic bees, cubic
sheep and where he can createwhatever his imagination is.
He builds three houses.
Life was good.

Speaker 1 (18:57):
Interestingly enough, they were all very plain, very
plain houses, like the wholepoint.
You should see, some of thehouses I've built, I mean I've
got, I've got mansions in there,I've got, you know, twelve
rooms, bathrooms, bedrooms, poolrooms.
It's great, all of his werelike fairly simple, which I kind
of respected, but also was likeIs this going to come into play

(19:19):
?
That he doesn't, he doesn'tactually have that great of an
imagination.
It wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
But I think that's kind of true.
He kind of does it Not comparedto the kid.
The kid makes his first thingand he's like, wow, that's
impressive.

Speaker 1 (19:32):
And illegal, by the way, but we'll talk about that
when we get there.

Speaker 2 (19:35):
No, Now can other people visit your Minecraft
world.

Speaker 1 (19:42):
Yeah, there's two different ways you can play with
other people because it's allserver-based, so you can start a
server with other people andthey can come and go.
So, yes, yes, you can, but youdon't have to.
You can also play solo.

Speaker 2 (19:55):
So are there other people that are in your world,
or is it just your world?

Speaker 1 (19:59):
I have a world that I play with my nephews and some
of their friends, and then Ialso with my nephews and some of
their friends, and then I alsohave my own as well.
Well, cause, you know,sometimes I just want to be by
myself and build my own things,you know.

Speaker 2 (20:12):
Very interesting thing Night comes every 20
minutes.

Speaker 1 (20:18):
Even though, like it's, that's true to the, to the
game.
It's a very funny line whichhappens about every 20 minutes
or so.

Speaker 2 (20:25):
And and immediate, a very funny line which happens
about every 20 minutes or so.
And immediate, I mean that'ssuch a brilliant line because it
immediately sets up that thisis not our world.
It has its own set of weirdrules that are going to kind of
become apparent, and it meanssomething.

Speaker 1 (20:40):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (20:41):
It also means that there's a flexibility in this
world that you're just if you'renot on board with it.
Right then, when he says that,then you're never going to be on
board with it.

Speaker 1 (20:52):
You're going to hate the movie.
You're going to hate the restof the time in this movie.

Speaker 2 (20:57):
Yeah, it's pretty amazing.
So he makes friends with thewolf.
He makes Steve's World, whichis a whole amusement park which
we never got to, which was toobad.

Speaker 1 (21:06):
There's pandas Right, and that one was pretty cool.
That was pretty cool yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:09):
There's pandas, there's cows, there's ruins.
He finds a chest.
He opens his new portal whichtakes him to the nether, where
there's no joy.
Their lust for gold has madethem ruin their whole place.
There's the piglins.
There's Malgosia, who is thequeen of them.
We find out that the cube hehas is called the Orb of

(21:31):
Dominance.
They want to pillage theoverworld, so they try and grab
him, but he oh.
They lock him up.
Then he escapes.
He gives the stuff to his wolf,who takes it to Earth and hides
it in his house under hiswaterbed.

(21:53):
Maybe that wasn't the safestplace to put it.

Speaker 1 (21:57):
Yeah, good stuff.
Very funny Because he does thatwhole plan.
The whole plan happens and thenwe're cutting to the open
credits or the opening Minecraftlogo and the voiceover just
basically goes.
Wait, putting it in my waterbed is a terrible idea.
Minecraft, it's pretty funny.

Speaker 2 (22:17):
It's good.
It's just like the jokes areplaced.
Well, you have people that candeliver jokes.

Speaker 1 (22:25):
Yeah, you do, you do.
You got a couple of good ones.

Speaker 2 (22:29):
Now we meet Garrett the Garbage man, who is Jason
Momoa's character.
He is the aging video gameplayer.
He was very good at Hunk CityRamp as a hilarious name for a
game, by the way gets the mail,it's his eviction notice.

(22:51):
He goes to a storage auction.
There's a 1978 atari cosmos.
That's not a real thing, is itnot?

Speaker 1 (22:57):
that I'm aware of.
No, and I don't.
I also don't think it would beworth them.
I don't think systems are worththat much.

Speaker 2 (23:04):
Well, I mean, if it was a super rare system and it
was mid-boxed, maybe it was likea limited edition type of thing
.

Speaker 1 (23:12):
This is one of my other favorite scenes.
Oh really, him talking to the.
What do you call him?
I don't know the auctioneer.

Speaker 2 (23:22):
What's his name?
It's Jermaine.

Speaker 1 (23:27):
Okay, I thought I was like it looks like him, but
he's doing a great accent asopposed to a terrible accent,
Our first real accent.

Speaker 2 (23:34):
He's an Australian playing an.

Speaker 1 (23:35):
American.
I just I love his interactionwith Jason Mowa before they go,
when he's trying to be friendswith him, and he's like just two
big buffaloes out there in thewild wearing unisex turquoise
blouses.
I don't know why, but that linejust killed me.
Just absolutely slayed me.

(23:56):
It stuck with me the wholemovie.
I went back.
I had to go back afterwards towrite it down because the whole
time I was just like that's myfavorite line of the movie.
Oh, really, um, yeah, I loveI'm.
Plus, I love jermaine.
That all makes sense.
Now that I know that it's him,it all makes sense I mean I'm 99
, it looked exactly like him,but the way he was talking I was
like that can't be he's.

(24:16):
But you know he's talented.
So there you go these are these.

Speaker 2 (24:21):
You know, hire incredibly talented people and
lo and behold, that's what youget some good stuff.

Speaker 1 (24:27):
I can't believe it.

Speaker 2 (24:28):
Never would have thought it he ends up winning
you know, winning the auction.
Nine hundred dollars goes inthere.
The cosmos box is empty.
Oh, one of my favorite lines ishe slips the check into his
pocket to pay for it.
He's like don't cash that forlike six months or something.

Speaker 1 (24:44):
Yeah, it was six First of all.

Speaker 2 (24:46):
Six months, Very long time not to cash a check.

Speaker 1 (24:50):
For those kids out there that have never seen or
used a check before six monthsvery long time.
Don't do that.

Speaker 2 (24:56):
Very long time.
And then he just startstrashing the thing and then we
see the globe is, the orb is onthe ground.
So we're like, okay, he's gotthe orb.
And then he's driving away andhe's like I need a win.
And you know playing the poisonrock and roll music.

(25:17):
His car breaks down and we seethese other two kids driving by
with their u-haul full of alltheir belongings.
They are moving to town.
We have the kid henry and hissister natalie, and somehow
she's like his guardian, eventhough she seems like she's 16
years old.

Speaker 1 (25:36):
I guess she's older than I said 13, so you're,
you're better than me.
I should look look up.
She looks very young, she looksshe looks too young.
While that's fine, Like it.
Just it's jarring at firstbecause you're just thinking to
yourself like how is she onedriving?
And to the legal guard Like Iunderstand, their mom passed
away.
But it's just, it's a littleweird.

(25:57):
It's a little a little weird,yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:59):
That.
That that was if I was going tohave one real critique of the
movie is just have her be alittle bit older or have their
mom coming later or something,make her 16 with the driver's
permit and then mom's coming ina month or whatever.

Speaker 1 (26:14):
It's just, she is 23 years old.
She does not look 23 years old,she does not look 23 years old,
I still don't believe it.
I think that Google's lying tome yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:26):
So Henry's an electronics kid.
They get to the house we seethat the wolf is creeping around
.
Yeah, the sister has a jobdoing social media for the
potato chip company.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
Another great line.
She's like I'm'm gonna try toget their subscribers over 75
and I was like that's great whata low bar good for you and
that's the thing.

Speaker 2 (26:50):
You set the low bar to make it go like oh wow, this
is.
Things are not good the things.
Things are not good at thepotato chip factory they meet
don at the house, meet Dawn whoruns a zoo on wheels, because
there's an alpaca in her car andI didn't notice it at first.
But then, when they shoot thecar again, it has two stacks of

(27:10):
giant cages on top.

Speaker 1 (27:12):
Yeah, sure does.
Yeah, very funny.
What a brilliant job plan thisis.
I love it.

Speaker 2 (27:19):
Career trajectory I'm going gonna start a mobile zoo
yeah, and the good thing aboutthese jokes is they don't.
They're just, they're there andthey're gone.
They don't like sit on them andsay like look, how great we are
for making this joke they'rejust like no, we see, I mean,
that's the napoleon dynamite init.

Speaker 1 (27:36):
Right like it's just, you know, you throw it, you
leave it, you throw it, youleave it.
You're just like what is?
What is it?
What is it?
My head is spinning and I loveit.

Speaker 2 (27:44):
Yeah, and that's why you love Napoleon Dynamite?
I think so.

Speaker 1 (27:48):
Actually, this is I was thinking about this last
night because we're watchingthis movie and I'm like I do, I
do get the Napoleon vibes.
Like I understand.
Like it's you know the randomhumor and it's very silly.
Like it's you know the randomhumor and it's very silly.
I think I hate John Heater Isthat how I say his name?
I think I just hate him so muchthat I could never enjoy that

(28:13):
movie because it's all him.
It's all him and I just Ireally don't like him.
Wow, I'm pretty sure that'swhat it is.
So I do want to re-watch thatmovie with with that thought in
my head of be like, well, ignoreeverything your main character
does and just see if you enjoy.
Like what's pedro?
Like that guy, like I, I don'tknow, I'm gonna, I'm gonna check

(28:33):
it out at some point and uh,what's his?

Speaker 2 (28:36):
tina majorino as the as the love interest.
She's saying funny um, okay,boom, boom, henry's an
electronics kid.
They're melancholy.
A little bit of time passes.

Speaker 1 (28:51):
The sister makes him a tater tot breakfast pizza to
take him to school Boy thatlooks good, give out slices
first of all.
That's never going to slice.
Okay, Tater tots are just gonnafall off that thing uh.
But I love it because it's likea play on the tater tot hot
dish which was uh big when I wasgrowing up in the midwest.
That was like a big thing forus.

Speaker 2 (29:13):
so I just yeah, very funny um, he stops by the game
store on his way to school.
And this, this is just likeJason.
Jason just goes nuts in thisscene.
He just he's yeah.

Speaker 1 (29:29):
It's delightful.

Speaker 2 (29:31):
Cause it's.

Speaker 1 (29:31):
It's a really well acted scene where he's, like you
know, he's offering mentorshipto the kid for $50 an hour
Trying to sell this kid on hisnew, his new, like how to be
cool, like lifestyle thing.

Speaker 2 (29:44):
it's great, it's good um ends up taking the tots he.
He gives him a hot garbage tip.

Speaker 1 (29:50):
There is no I in team I think my favorite line is I
don't remember exactly what thekid says, but he like can't,
he's, I don't know something.
And jason moore saysnon-committal, classic loser
mentality.

Speaker 2 (30:04):
That's such a great line I like I loved it and you
felt like they were gonna set upwhat the kid had to go through.
But they were just like momo isjust like just just going for.
Here's a bunch of stuff blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
nothing.
It's just like here's a bunchof stuff.
Yeah, he gets to the schoolJennifer Coolidge is like the

(30:29):
vice principal or something andshe starts doing this whole
thing about her marriage fallingapart.
Yep, getting a divorce, yep.
Oh, but she did say the greatline we stuck out the marriage
for the four dogs.

Speaker 1 (30:46):
For the dogs, for the dogs.
But she said they've been doingit for 20 years.
That math doesn't really lineup, dan.
I don't know if you know this,but either their dogs are very,
very old or they just keptgetting dogs and then they just
kept sticking it out, and Ichoose to believe it's that one.
Like they just repeatedly gotnew dogs and we're like well, I

(31:08):
guess we got to stay togetherbecause we got a new dog he goes
into the art slash gym classwhere, uh, you know he's the new
.

Speaker 2 (31:17):
he gets a little roasted.
He's a scientist and so they'reto kind of like prove it.
So he makes a whole rocketsystem, puts it on the skeletons
.
The bad kids clip one of thewires and it goes up and I was
like, well, that's strange.
You would have thought thatclipping the wires would have
made it not work.

Speaker 1 (31:35):
I thought they killed it yeah.

Speaker 2 (31:37):
You know, subjugation of our expectations.
It goes up.
Then it turns and we see thepotato chip factory and it has a
big potato chip mascot guy.
Yeah, it goes right towards it.
It's the thing, and it likefalls tumbles off the roof into
the river into the river and Iwas just laughing.

(32:00):
I was like this was my myprobably my second biggest laugh
in the movie and he's just likeand the you know, the sisters
in there working and everybody'syou know, and they're all like
good.
The good news is nobody diedand oh, he's taking the
principal's office.
The good news is nobody died.
And they're like you gotta gotto call your guardian.

(32:21):
He calls Jason Momoa.

Speaker 1 (32:28):
Yeah, another great Momoa moment coming up here.
So the kid asks him can youcome to my school and pretend to
be my uncle?
And Momoa's response is no, no,I don't do that anymore, that's
what you say.

Speaker 2 (32:47):
That's what you say.
That's of course what you say.

Speaker 1 (32:50):
Oh, I love it, he's done stuff this guy just cracked
me up and what I don't do thatanymore.

Speaker 2 (32:55):
And what does the kid say?
I got 23 in my pocket.

Speaker 1 (32:59):
And then the next scene momoa is there, it's, it's
, it's beautiful, uh, I do wantto say one thing about the
previous scene where he's in gymslash art class.
This gym teacher is my leastfavorite part of this whole
movie.
Oh, okay, and it is.
He is the most napoleondynamite.
He is pretty napoleon characterin the whole movie.

(33:21):
So that does make me worriedabout re-watching napoleon,
because I saw that and I waslike, oh, you are literally from
napoleon dynamite.
I thought maybe it was even oneof the characters.
I don't know, I don't, I don'tknow well enough.
I did not like him and he hadone of my favorite lines of the
movie where he's like talkingabout how he has two jobs or
something and he he's like, butfinancially I'm living a

(33:41):
nightmare and I I wanted tolaugh and I didn't really laugh
and I just didn't like him.
So that's my big complaint tothe movie is, uh, I would have
liked anybody else, just anyoneelse, in that role.
But I'm sure people loved it.

Speaker 2 (33:55):
Yeah, I thought it was fine.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
Yeah Well, you like Napoleon Dynamite.

Speaker 2 (34:05):
You have bad taste.
What can we do about it?
Oh, so Natalie gets home, can'tfind Henry because he's down at
the store and they're not doingthat.
Well, because Jason Momoa kindof gets mad at the kid and
throws his notebook in the trash.
But they're like oh okay, oh,the kid puts the things together
, he puts the cubes together.
Oh, jason Momoa tries to sellhim the cubes for for 9500, for

(34:25):
950 dollars, I think.

Speaker 1 (34:27):
And then they find the instructions which are like
don't, don't do this, and ofcourse they do it and then on
the back of the instructions issomething about how, like, even
though there's a great amount oftreasure here, don't do even if
you're a struggling business on, like it's just very, it's
specifically jason.
It's a lovely amount oftreasure here.
Don't do it, even if you're astruggling business, like it's
just very, it's specificallyJason, it's a lovely little
scene.

Speaker 2 (34:46):
Basically it points them in the direction to follow
the cube for a month, yeah, youknow.
So Natalie can't find Henry, soDon's like well, just to find a
phone.
So basically we all end up atthe mine.

Speaker 1 (35:00):
Well, again she's got a great line.
She goes, Don goes, he's fine,he's just playing in an
abandoned mine shaft.
Great, great line.

Speaker 2 (35:09):
He does say that they get sucked through the portal,
they all bouncing off of eachother.
I believe Don says she goes mybutt.

Speaker 1 (35:20):
My butt, my butt.
Yeah, she goes my butt.

Speaker 2 (35:23):
My butt, my butt.
Yeah, just a better linedelivery than anything in Drive
Away Dolls.
That one line, my butt.
I believe Jason Momoa says thisisn't Idaho.
I think this is Wyoming.

Speaker 1 (35:39):
Wyoming.
Yeah, what a stupid line.
Shut up there's a difference.

Speaker 2 (35:45):
Okay, and one of the weird villagers goes to Earth
and we have these scenes of.

Speaker 1 (35:52):
Did I miss him actually going to Earth?

Speaker 2 (35:55):
He goes through the portal, he walks through the
portal.

Speaker 1 (35:57):
One of them goes through the portal I must have
missed that part, but all of asudden he's there and I was like
, okay, we're doing this, nowI'm on board.
I just don't remember it.

Speaker 2 (36:05):
And basically he gets hit by Jennifer Coolidge's car,
her Grand Cheap Cherokee.

Speaker 1 (36:11):
Grand Cheap Cherokee.
Why is that funny?
It works.

Speaker 2 (36:16):
It works Because it's delivered by a professional
comedian.

Speaker 1 (36:21):
She is very funny.

Speaker 2 (36:22):
You know we've probably talked about this.
You know, we?
What was it in my one?
My one sketch was a see mevalley, yeah, see me valley.
And then we had our friend suekate.
When she said it, we just youknew it was going to be.
It was going to become a jokeand all you're doing is saying
the name of a city and all shedoes is say the name of her

(36:42):
vehicle, but she does itconsistently, at incorrect times
, essentially, and it becomes ajoke and that's how comedy works
.

Speaker 1 (36:52):
She's delightful.
I love her so much.
I did a rewatch of Joey theFriends spinoff because they
released it on the YouTubes.
The friends spinoff becausethey released it on uh the
youtubes and uh she's.
She plays the agent and she isjust completely unhinged in that
show and it's just she's.
She's just great.

Speaker 2 (37:10):
She's a national treasure she's, uh, you know,
the last of the character actors, um, and so basically she like
has a romance with this, withthis guy, and and it's awesome
and it's just.
We probably won't talk about itmuch because it's just these
weird little, these weird littlescenes that appear for, for,
for 90 seconds or two minutesreally, just so we can like take

(37:32):
a break and reset.

Speaker 1 (37:33):
And it works works every time.
Yeah, she does have my one ofmy favorite jokes in the movie,
so I will talk about thatshortly.

Speaker 2 (37:42):
Great.
So Malagosius says to Steve, goget me the orb and I'll spare
the dog's life.
Like, oh okay, that'sinteresting.
Jason tries to talk to a sheepand then, boom, it becomes night
.
Here come arrows, they run,henry hits, henry hits a tree,

(38:05):
it turns into a small block andthen he realizes how you sort of
can take materials, shrink themdown and then boom them again
to make them big yeah, greatstuff, great, great stuff yeah,
so he makes a house but theysort of lose the cube and then
Jason's falling down this pitand then he sort of digs and he

(38:26):
meets a plant person and then hehits it and it explodes.
Yeah, I didn't quite understandthe plant people.

Speaker 1 (38:34):
Well, that's what they do, so they're like zombies
.
Oh they're like zombies, but ifyou hit them, if you attack
them because that's how you haveto kill things they chase you.
If you hit them, they're lightzombies and then the cube got

(39:05):
broken or just split into thetwo parts.

Speaker 2 (39:06):
I wasn't quite sure it got broken, the outer shell
also.
The outer shell's gone for good.
That's the issue.

Speaker 1 (39:08):
Yes, yeah, so they have to find another outer shell
, and there's only one other onethey got it, so they or they
have to craft.

Speaker 2 (39:14):
He has to craft it, or was it?

Speaker 1 (39:16):
craft.
No, no jack has one in thewhatever the woodland area is
called, in one of his chests.

Speaker 2 (39:23):
Oh, those are his chests in that.

Speaker 1 (39:25):
Yeah, those are his chest, which is one of my
favorite game references in thewhole movie, which is just all
the chests in Minecraft have alimited amount of space that you
can store things at.
So, like, if you come to one ofmy, one of my towns, there are
hundreds of chests everywherebecause you have to put so much

(39:46):
stuff away.
So you got, you got blocks, yougot ores, you got weapons, you
just hey, stop out.
So you have hundreds of chestsjust spread all over and it's
always a mess and I just lovedthat they how do you find what
you're looking for?
you don't?
It's super annoying.
So a lot of people like, groupthem together so they'll have
like, oh, stones are here, gemsare here, you know things like
that.
Yeah, I don't, it's superannoying.
So a lot of people like, groupthem together so they'll have
like, oh, stones are here, gemsare here, you know things like
that.
Yeah, I don't do that, I just,I have shit everywhere.

(40:07):
Then I just have to keeprunning checking chests.
I'm like, where did I put it?

Speaker 2 (40:11):
jesus christ, it's annoying oh okay, so they save
jason, and now steve shows upwith an axe and starts fighting
the zombies and kicking theirbutts and helping them.
So now we've got everybodytogether it's a party and he

(40:32):
just does his announcement.
I am Steve and he explains thatthey have to go get this
crystal thing or the outercrystal, and they have to go to
the woodland castle to get it.
So woodland castle isn't a realthing, that's just his thing no
, I think it is I think it is areal place.

Speaker 1 (40:48):
I'll double check, but I'm pretty sure it is okay
so then they go to the village.

Speaker 2 (40:52):
There's the weird villagers outruns, this pig
wearing a crown, and they thinkthat's important.
But it's not important.
We meet iron golems, which arethe golems that protect the
villagers, but they only protectthe villagers if you attack
them first.

Speaker 1 (41:12):
Okay, I've got the answer.
Woodland mansions are anaturally generated structure in
Minecraft, which are found inthe dark forest biome.
So there you go.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
So they naturally spawn, you don't have to build
them but you can then go in andstate put your stuff there if
you want to put your stuff there.
For whatever reason, we do awhole steve's hot lava chicken
thing and he does a song great,great.

Speaker 1 (41:37):
I listen.

Speaker 2 (41:39):
It's dumb, it's real dumb, but I liked it a lot and
he and jason compete over eatingthe hot chicken and jason eats
it like it's been cooked by lava.

Speaker 1 (41:48):
Don't do it, it's great.
And then he like cries aftereveryone leaves.
It's very funny, my, what?
My favorite, my, the reason whythis is my favorite momoa
performance, by the way way is100% his screams.
That he does.
He has the ability somehow Idon't know what's, you know to
give these like very shrillscreams, and they use it a lot

(42:11):
in this movie and I really enjoyit.
It makes me laugh every time.

Speaker 2 (42:15):
He's always getting his butt kicked.
Yes, he is getting knocked over, kicked around, you know, they
just lay it on him and it'squite pleasant.
You're like, oh good, we meetGeneral Chungus, he's got to go
capture Steve.
Then we kind of lay out thatcreativity equals survival here.

(42:37):
Okay, we go to Steve's stash.

Speaker 1 (42:44):
Which, if we're critiquing, they don't really
hammer that home.
What do you mean?
There's not a ton of creativitythat saves the day in the third
act.

Speaker 2 (42:56):
No, it's all the same .
No, he just it's.
The kid has to do it with hisgun.
Yeah, which?

Speaker 1 (43:01):
is not a weapon that you can make in Minecraft.
You can't make a gun thatshoots stuff.
You can make a gun.
You can't make a tater tot gunusing parts from the real world.
That's ridiculous.
Well, yeah, they said he's theonly one that's ever done that.
Yeah, exactly because it'sagainst the rules.
Okay, you got to live withinthe world of Minecraft.

Speaker 2 (43:22):
Guys, if we're getting nitpicky, but we're not,
because it's fun maybe jailbroke the game alright, that
must be it we're introduced tothe crafting table, where you
put some stuff on it, then youbang it and it turns into things
um, garrett makes some buckchuckets, he makes the tot
launcher.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
I will say, when he makes the buck chuck it's great
name, by the way, very funny,it's very funny and he
demonstrates them, yeah, but hedoes it with like the saddest
look on his face ever and it'slike very, very sad nunchucking.
It's great.
It's great little performancethere.
Jason momoa wow you just uh.

Speaker 2 (44:02):
I thoroughly enjoyed this movie I know, um boom, the
alarm bell sounds.
Here come the general with thepigs.
They're trashing the town,chungish talks with steve and we
find out that they still sortof have their thing going on.
Uh, jason fights a pig.
The girls pick up weapons.
They fight pigs.
The iron golem saves jason.

(44:25):
They go up to the ramparts.
The guys and the girls aresplit up.
So now the girls are kind of onone path where they don't
really get to do anything and wedon't have to deal with them,
and then the guys get to doeverything yeah, pretty much.
Yeah, then we have the flightwings.
So he's got two sets of flightwings.

(44:45):
He puts one on the kid, one onjason.
He doesn't have another one.

Speaker 1 (44:49):
The kid jumps, flies jason, actually jason momoa
throws the kid off the cliff,which is hilarious, uh.
And then jason momoa jumps andthen jack likes like I wish I
would have brought three.
And then he jumps and then youjust see him fall and then he's
flying.
He's never-ending storying onthe back of Jason Momoa.

(45:12):
He's got his hair on like reinsand he's got a leg wrapped
around him and he's like let myhips be your guide.
It is delightful, it's so funny.
It's so funny, it's so stupid.
And then they have to.
Can we just go right into whenthey have to change their
positioning because they'reabout to go through something?

Speaker 2 (45:33):
The bad guys come on hot air balloons, which are
these big square monster things,which I really liked, and
they're shooting fireballs andthings.
And they shoot a fireball intothis one canyon and they're
going to have to go through thishole.
That's the only place, becausethey don't have the altitude,
yeah, and they have to rearrange.

Speaker 1 (45:53):
They rearrange, starts yelling, go nose to toes,
nose to toes, so they go into awell, a 69 position, which is
always delightful, and he's, andmomo is like you gotta squeeze
together.
I don't know.
The whole thing is great.
It's a wonderful scene.
Uh, it's slightly dirty, but ina very kid-friendly way and uh,

(46:15):
I loved it.

Speaker 2 (46:16):
I loved every second of it, screaming at each other.
You know you know, and youdon't know what's going on and
and it's just very funny uh,they have to do a man sandwich
through the hole.
Man sandwich, yeah, do they sayman sandwich, or did I make
that up?

Speaker 1 (46:31):
I, I'm not.
I honestly don't even knowthey're yelling so much stuff.
I'm always screaming at them.
I don't know they're justyelling and yelling.

Speaker 2 (46:38):
Henry uses a rocket, they crash and they use a water
bucket so that they don't gethurt, which was yeah, great,
great game reference.
Now can you do all that stuffin the game the the water bucket
.

Speaker 1 (46:52):
So that's how, if you , you do take fall damage in
minecraft, so to stop that youhave to fall into any amount of
water.
Basically so if you have water,you throw it down and it will
it'll negate your fall damagecan you make those wings and?
Fly around?
Um, yes, you can, but it justdepends on your game mode.
I'm pretty sure because you can.
Yeah, you can get wings and youcan fly up and like build sky

(47:14):
structures and stuff which iscool, that'd be fun.

Speaker 2 (47:16):
Yeah, uh, the girls try to make a boat.
They fail miserably.

Speaker 1 (47:21):
That was great kind of funny.

Speaker 2 (47:22):
It's just a block.
Yeah, it's good.
The romance continues withJennifer Coolidge and the
villager.
They're talking about divorce.
The boys want some answers andso we set up how Malgosia went
on Nether's Got Talent and triedto sing and got humiliated.
So stupid.
That was funny, it's funny.

Speaker 1 (47:44):
It's funny, it's just so dumb.

Speaker 2 (47:46):
See, now, that's the kind of thing it is.
You know, a reference to ourworld, but it's like also
blurred through the world,through this world 100%, so you
don't have to spend any timeexplaining the joke.
It's just like we have this gutdoubt.
Okay, we got the joke.

Speaker 1 (48:02):
They're like okay, we get the concept, yep, we're on
board, we've seen it in the realworld, we get it.
But they, boy, were theyvicious?
Yeah, they were.

Speaker 2 (48:12):
Malagosha's.
Now Chungus goes back there,general Chungus, and she's
unhappy with him, so she callsout the Great Hog and the great
hog kills Chungus.
When he kills the things, theyturn into little steaks or
little pork chops.
They turn into little porkchops.

Speaker 1 (48:29):
Yeah, that's how you collect.
So you kill something thatturns into meat, and then you
get to cook the meat and eat themeat, and that's how you stay
alive.

Speaker 2 (48:35):
Oh okay, well, so we have Natalie and Dawn walking at
night being worried about Henry, but we see that they've become
really good warriors and justkilling things right, left and
right, just slaying whilethey're talking.

Speaker 1 (48:48):
It's fun.

Speaker 2 (48:49):
And does it become like that in the game, where
zombies initially are verydangerous, but then at a certain
point they're completely notdangerous?

Speaker 1 (48:55):
Well, yeah, because I mean you'll get like they don't
really change, right, butyou'll get like you know, you'll
make armor, you'll make betterweapons, you get some bow and
arrows, so you don't even getclose.

Speaker 2 (49:07):
yeah yeah, yeah.
So you know, you're justshowing how game progression
works in the scene, withouttalking about game progression
where it's like, yeah, they arenow adept at doing yeah like
look how good we are now.

Speaker 1 (49:20):
This is becoming so much easier now.
You don't have to do any ofthat.
They're just killing peoplewhile having a normal
conversation.
It's really nice it's.

Speaker 2 (49:26):
You know, they and that's the thing you know.
I can see people talking aboutthis and not looking at those
really subtle things like that.
Sure, yeah, that are that aredealing with this world as a
game world and has howcharacters are.
We get used to things and itjust you know, it's like when
you go to drive a car, you don'tthink I'm gonna crash into

(49:47):
everything.
You start a car, yep, andthey're just, they're part of
the game now and it's just howthey do things.
Um, boom, boom, boom.
They run into the wolf, dennisand don bonds with it and then
he is going to be able to leadthem to where they are and we
can get the whole team backtogether.
Love it, love it.

(50:07):
They're in the redstone mines.
They've gone to the redstonemines because there are diamonds
there which Jason wants to get.
Does he get the diamonds andput them in his pockets, or does
he not?

Speaker 1 (50:17):
I mean, he does, but we never really come back to
that.
Yeah, which is fine.

Speaker 2 (50:23):
That's fine.
Yeah, this movie does not spenda lot of time being
manipulative about that kind ofthing.
Yeah, about you betraying yourfriendships to get money or to
get success or whatever.

Speaker 1 (50:35):
Usually, a movie would have played that much
harder.
Yeah for sure.
But he gets to be mad at himfor like five minutes and we get
the nice line in a little bitwhich is Jason's like are you
still mad at me?
Or something.
He's like it just happened,it's great.

Speaker 2 (50:50):
Beautiful line.
Yeah, it's really nice, Becauseusually they don't you, don't
you either like it either justdisappears or whatever.

Speaker 1 (50:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (50:58):
It's good, it's all good.
Jason falls into the boobytraps.
They get to the diamonds.
Here comes the great hog.
They get in the mine carts.
The mine cart runs down in themiddle of the creeper farm and
then Garrett has to get out andpush.
They get up to speed and thenthe whole mine blows up.

(51:20):
Okay, yeah, henry's mad becauseJason came for the diamonds,
yeah, and he's like I need money, my life sucks there.
I said it I'm alone and he'slike you know, then we do a
friendship thing, we do afriendship thing and I was like
I was wondering how much I wasgonna feel and I was like, okay,

(51:41):
I was wondering how much I wasgoing to feel and I was like,
okay, I am starting to feelabout these characters, that was
the point.
It wasn't high but it was likemedium and later on it goes to
high.
Yeah, so I got there.
And then Jack Black's charactersays one of the best lines ever
.

Speaker 1 (51:59):
He says sorry about your finances sorry about your
finances and that's it.
And then they just walk off.

Speaker 2 (52:06):
No, no, that's jason says shut up, steve, oh yeah but
what what?

Speaker 1 (52:12):
they don't deal with it at all.
It's just such a nice yeah,what a line.

Speaker 2 (52:15):
Sorry about your finances and jack black delivers
it 10 times better than I didhe.
He delivers I.
I mean, he's Jack Black, sorryabout your finances or something
.
I don't even know what he does.
It's great.

Speaker 1 (52:26):
Keep trying.
I think people will enjoy itDan.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
They've arrived at the Woodland Mansion and Jason
gives the oar back to Henry, andHenry kind of yells at him too.
I think this might have beenthe one where Because he's had
it the whole time.

Speaker 1 (52:40):
You forgive me.

Speaker 2 (52:41):
You know he's like I'm still mad at you.
Yeah, so they need a diversion,because there's different
monsters on each level of thewoodland mansion and Jason and
Jack Pike become the MushroomBand and do this insane song.

Speaker 1 (53:01):
Which is pretty fun.

Speaker 2 (53:03):
Yeah, henry's upstairs, he has to face axe
murderers.
He gets to the room of boxes,goes through the boxes, gets
mesmerized.
Oh no, we go back and forth.
He gets mesmerized and there'sthis big evil creature, the
Enderman.
Oh, is that what it is, theEnderman?
And he kills that and he gets ateleportation module.

(53:23):
Yeah, is that what you alwaysget?

Speaker 1 (53:25):
Yeah, let me tell you real quickly that he kills that
thing pretty easily.
They're pretty hard.

Speaker 2 (53:31):
Okay, they're pretty hard.

Speaker 1 (53:34):
I've gotten murdered a bunch, but yeah, I think the
whole thing is he's very good atthe game.

Speaker 2 (53:40):
Yeah, he's very good at the game.
Our guys get taken to the fightclub and then this is the whole
boxing ring with the chickenjockey and the little
Frankenstein riding the chicken,which is great, it's a great
scene.
And Jack Black's like keep himaway from your face.
Yeah, In the end Jack Black'sable to untie himself and save

(54:03):
the day, and like kind ofheadbutt him?
Does he headbutt the guy helike shoots through the air?

Speaker 1 (54:08):
He kind of does the salmon.

Speaker 2 (54:10):
I don't know.
It's great, it's very weird.
And Henry appears and then theyleave.
Malagosha makes a new giant hogand steals the cube.
They throw Hank.
Oh, so they have to escape.
So Jason Momoa throws Henryonto a balloon.

(54:31):
Then they use a slime cube.
Oh, they're on the bridge andthere's explosives.
So they throw two of them onthe balloon and then Jason's
staying behind.
I like slime cube a lot.

Speaker 1 (54:43):
Yeah, slimees are great.

Speaker 2 (54:46):
And then he gets Jason Momoa, gets another one of
the greatest lines in the movie.
Tell my story in song In song.
Real metal with realinstruments.

Speaker 1 (54:58):
In real instruments.

Speaker 2 (54:59):
There's a couple more lines in there too, but tell it
in song real metal with realinstruments.

Speaker 1 (55:06):
I was like wow.

Speaker 2 (55:08):
Very funny Going down brace for impact.
So they shoot off and then theycrash and they get knocked
unconscious.
They wake up.
They're in this beautifulmushroom hunt and Natalie's
there and dennis is there.
Everyone is there and we'reheading into the third act yeah,

(55:29):
we are third act is a big laserbeam which brings the great
darkness to the sky beam.
Is that what?

Speaker 1 (55:36):
it's called sky beam.
I mean not, that's just ingeneral, that's like the third
act thing.
Marvel did them for a long time.

Speaker 2 (55:46):
And it turns dark.
And then this is where we are,back in Steve's place, making
all the stuff necessary to fightthe bad guys.

Speaker 1 (55:55):
Yeah, crafting Minecraft, they do a little
handshake.
The one, two, three.
Is that this scene at the endof it, at the end of them making
everything and they're like allright hands in the middle.
One, two, three, something.
Everyone says something, itdoesn't matter, it's very funny
Probably was.

Speaker 2 (56:11):
I didn't write that down it's very funny.
And then so they make an IronGolem army.
And then you know they're likeoh, the iron golems are
worthless unless you provokethem and the one guy shoots them
with an arrow.

Speaker 1 (56:32):
Right.

Speaker 2 (56:32):
Yeah.
And then they say Travis, whydid you do that?
Once again, you put a stupidname on that one pig and you're
like there's a joke.
See that's how you usereferences as jokes.
You surprise us.
You're like there's a mindlessguy that did something wrong.
You give him a name.
Now, he's not a mindless guy.
He's someone that we're nevergoing to talk about again.

Speaker 1 (56:55):
But they know him.
You know what I mean.
Like they know this guy.

Speaker 2 (57:01):
Steve goes to fight Malgosia.
Um, doesn't go that well, theyegg attack.
Don is about to fight the bigpig, but then dennis and his all
his, he's got a bunch of littlewolves.
Now, yeah, um, henry uses theteleportation to get up the top,
but then they blow him off.
And then here comes, uh, here,jason momoa.

(57:25):
He saved himself with the waterbucket trick.

Speaker 1 (57:29):
Oh, just just see this the day good so give us the
one line yeah, all we ever need, and I mean they did it very
well though, because it's also acall back to earlier in the
movie, so like it's it's a, it'sa well done, one line, you know
it's crafted put in there atthe.

Speaker 2 (57:47):
You know we're like, oh okay, he's giving us an
explanation, an explanation thatwe understand and we've seen in
a movie and we've seen it.

Speaker 1 (57:53):
Yeah, exactly logic.

Speaker 2 (57:55):
so it works um steve defeats.
Oh, natalie ends up with theorb.
Oh yeah, they.
They the wait.
Hold on what happened.
Oh, they fireball.
Hey, hold on, hold on Fire.
They fireball the portal.
Oh yeah, they use the pig thingthat he's on to blast the

(58:16):
portal apart.
Here comes the sun.
Everybody's burning up.
The golems defeat the pigs,natalie gets the orb, steve has
defeated malgosia and we havethe best scene in the whole
movie by about 10 000.
My god, this scene whoever wrotethis scene should be given an

(58:38):
award, a comedy award and thenjust yeah, she's no, she's on
the ground.
She's like come closer, I havesomething to see you.
And he's like do you have atiny knife that you're gonna try
to stab me when I come closer?
She?

Speaker 1 (58:56):
said no, no, I'm too weak, I'm too weak.
She pulls the knife on him, hebats it away and it's so slow
like she's so slow with it,there's no surprise to it at all
and he just swats it away verycasually no, no, there is

(59:18):
something come closer come close.

Speaker 2 (59:20):
It's like it's her second knife.
Does it again.

Speaker 1 (59:25):
The third time.

Speaker 2 (59:26):
And he starts to walk away.
Then she pulls the knife outand she tries to throw it.
She says sneak attack, but shedoesn't have the energy.
It was comedy timing perfection.

Speaker 1 (59:42):
Just that whole scene was shot together perfectly.

Speaker 2 (59:46):
I mean cut together perfectly.

Speaker 1 (59:48):
All the lines were perfect jack is perfect,
delivers all of that, absolutelyjust.
It's.
It's wonderful, it's, it'sworth.
Even if you didn't love themovie, it's worth sitting
through it just to see thatscene that scene.

Speaker 2 (01:00:01):
Just it, just because it you know, it blows up all
horror tropes, all those youknow like, oh look out he's.
He just just like with the minorat the and that's the thing
they set it up with the minor atthe beginning head fake, yeah
he's, he's not gonna fall forthe the tricks, he's gonna be
able to do his thing, um.
And then we talk about what'sgonna happen and, uh, dennis is

(01:00:27):
gonna go with dawn and we do awhole oh, because mason mamo's
character's been speakingspanish the whole movie and so
he's like vaya con dios and thethe sister's, like that means
goodbye doesn't mean goodbye no,it doesn't.
No, it doesn't and he it doesn't.
No, it doesn't, and he hasthese reflective glasses that
he's always doing.

(01:00:47):
Yeah, he's cool.

Speaker 1 (01:00:52):
He's cool, but he's a nerd, but he's a loser.
Yeah, he's the guy that thinkshe's cool but peaked when he was
12, when he won thatcompetition.
It's great, it's great stuff,it's good stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:01:04):
So Steve goes back with them and then they all have
new lives.
Oh wait, hold on.

Speaker 1 (01:01:09):
So my favorite Momoa line of the whole movie is at
this final scene.
He's saying goodbye to JackBlack and gets in close to Jack
and he's like come visit anytimebecause Henry's great.
But I don't have a lot offriends my age, I just fucking
lost it.
Man, oh, he delivers.

(01:01:30):
It was with like just the rightamount of like angst and irony
that it's just, oh God, allright, but Mo is great in this
movie.
I just there's nothing else tosay, I just love it so much.

Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
What was your favorite?

Speaker 1 (01:01:46):
You had a Jenniferennifer coolidge thing,
I think.
Oh yeah, so some, at some pointI don't know that we cut back
there a couple times.
I don't know.
The waiter comes over, yeah, helooks at the minor and he's
like, are you finished?
And she goes no, I think he'sswedish.
Oh yeah, he does that.
It's the dumbest joke I've everheard in my life.
It's like it's level 10 idiocyand I just it broke.
I cracked up.

(01:02:07):
She delivers it so dead.
It's great.
She kills it.
I think he's Swedish, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:02:13):
So they all come back .
Don's doing her zoo and makeher living.
The sister opens a self-defenseschool, the kid makes the jet
pack work, and then Jason andJack are in their own weird band
and then they play a song,great ending song.

Speaker 1 (01:02:28):
Yeah, great ending song.
You know you don't get a lot ofgood topical ending songs
anymore.
We just don't do it that muchanymore but it's nice, that's
it's shrek right yeah, yeah,there you.
It's been a while, but this isgreat, this is very fun, very
fun ending scene.

Speaker 2 (01:02:45):
It looked good.
The character was alwaysinteresting.
I don't know they pulled thisone off.

Speaker 1 (01:02:54):
Yeah, I mean, it's zany, it's not going to be for
everyone.
No, I'm fine if you don't likeit.
It's an acquired taste.
I'm fine, I'm fine.
If you don't like it, it's anacquired taste, I'm sure.
But to make a Minecraft movieis weird, because there's no
story to the game.
You're just building, so likeyou have to create something,
and I think they createdsomething that's very fun and

(01:03:16):
obviously resonates with thekids that play the game, because
it made a bajillion dollars.
So good on them, on them, makea broad comedy.

Speaker 2 (01:03:26):
I mean, I don't remember that much about the
super mario brothers movie, butit felt like it was kind of like
this, where it's just kind oflike this thing it's, it's not.

Speaker 1 (01:03:35):
I mean it's, it's good, it's good, it's cute, it's
not as zany.
Obviously.
It's more of a straight lacelike oh, we're a cute animated
film and it's great.
I really enjoyed it.
But I like this movie way morethan I liked that one Really
Okay.
Interesting, yeah.
Yeah.
Also, there's an ending creditscene Did you watch that in the
credits where it turns out thevillager can talk the whole time

(01:03:58):
?
Well, the villager has learnedto talk english.
Well, he said something like hewas so shocked by her beauty or
love or something that he wasrendered speechless, or
something like that.
I think it was rendered theability to speak I think he
gained the ability to speak.

Speaker 2 (01:04:15):
Yeah, that and then she's gained the ability to
speak villager, which is justlike and it's uh, it's what's
his name?
Laszlo from.
Uh, matt barry, it's matt barryis does yes, okay yeah, well,
yeah, it's very good get mattbarry to do the voice in your
movie.
That's uh, you know, yeah,that's what you get to do, not

(01:04:37):
bad uh well, I was pleasantlysurprised by this top to bottom.

Speaker 1 (01:04:41):
I had a great time.
The kids are going to love it.
There's a couple.
You know, just be careful,there's a couple of hells in it.
I saw people all upset aboutthat on Reddit.

Speaker 2 (01:04:51):
They're like I'm so sick of curse words.

Speaker 1 (01:04:53):
In my kids' movies it's like is hell really even a
curse word?
I don't know.
I don't have kids.
I don't know Make.
I don't have kids, I don't know.
Make your own choices, butthere's a couple of hells in it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:02):
It's only a curse word.
If you use it as a curse word,right, that's a good point,
that's a good point.

Speaker 1 (01:05:08):
Yeah, no one's like go to hell, you're going to hell
.
It's just like what the hellyou know that sort of thing yeah
.

Speaker 2 (01:05:18):
I don't know.
It was a roller coaster ride.
I had a good time.
It's like going to an amusementpark.
That's what this movie is like.

Speaker 1 (01:05:26):
And going on, like the Tower of Terror, because
it's intense.
It's intense the whole time.
It is a movie that I will watchagain.
I'll tell you that right now.
I'm going to watch it again atsome point.
Yeah For sure, definitely a funmovie.
Okay, all right.
Well, well, now Dan gets topick.
So I'm sure the movie next weekis going to suck.
But first we have to talk aboutwhat we liked, I guess.

Speaker 2 (01:05:50):
I.
So there's.
I saw this promo for thisNicole Kidman show Nine Perfect
Strangers.
They like new season and likeeach season is like you know,
and everyone's like this is theworst White Lotus, you know.
It's like this is the worstwhite lotus, you know.
You know it's where.
It's like, oh sure, they go tosome place.
So I was like, oh, I'll watchthat, but you know what I'll do.
I'll skip the first season,I'll just watch the second

(01:06:12):
season.
I had to do some dang good celllogic just for you, don't he?

Speaker 1 (01:06:17):
oh damn, yeah, it's nonsense.
Okay, yeah, how'd that work outtwo episodes in in really
enjoyable?
Okay, all right, do you?

Speaker 2 (01:06:25):
understand everything .
Yeah, she's like apharmacologist.
You know who?
Okay yeah.
She doses, like the people thatcome to stay to try to deal
with their traumas.

Speaker 1 (01:06:39):
On purpose, Like she's drugging them without them
knowing it.
Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:06:46):
Oh yeah, oh, oh yeah, oh yeah.
Okay, that's wild, veryinteresting, interesting.
Annie murphy is one of the oneof the characters.
And what?

Speaker 1 (01:06:53):
annie murphy is one of the actors eddie, I think he
said eddie murphy, no, anniemurphy.
Yeah, I heard it now.
I heard it the second time,yeah I understand.

Speaker 2 (01:07:02):
I understand what you're saying.
Yeah, and Nicole Kidman playsthe doctor and Nina Olin is in
there it's interesting.
You know, I mean it may allfall apart and I may never
finish it, but I enjoyed thosetwo episodes.

Speaker 1 (01:07:17):
I love it what do you got?

Speaker 2 (01:07:18):
I love it.
What do you?

Speaker 1 (01:07:19):
got Tony, we finally watched.

Speaker 2 (01:07:26):
Bad Monkey on Apple TV Plus with Vince Vaughn.
You told us you already didthat.

Speaker 1 (01:07:28):
You already did that once, Did I start?
Well, we started it.
We finally finished it thisweek and I watched it a second
time.
That's how much I enjoyed it.

Speaker 2 (01:07:36):
I watched the first episode and maybe some of the
second episode.

Speaker 1 (01:07:41):
And you quit.

Speaker 2 (01:07:41):
It was enjoyable, but um what's?
My, what's my problem?
I didn't.
I don't think I had a problemwith it, I just sure I just not,
your, not your cup of tea itwasn't the kind of mystery that
I wanted to, you know, to godown.

Speaker 1 (01:07:54):
I like a different kind of I get that the mystery
isn't really the driving force,if that makes sense you know
what I mean like it's.
It's kind of like a psych or acastle, where it's more like
we're just here for the ride.
We're not really here for themystery of it all.

Speaker 2 (01:08:12):
You know what I mean.
It felt more like episode, itfelt more like primetime.

Speaker 1 (01:08:17):
TV kind of storytelling Absolutely Great.

Speaker 2 (01:08:21):
Acting, great characters, yes, good looking,
just very good and we had a lotof fun.

Speaker 1 (01:08:27):
We had a ton of fun yeah and uh, there's, there's
some, there are some twists, butnot to the mystery.
Part of it's just everyone iscrazy, like that's where you
start learning more about thesepeople and they're all super
damaged, um, and just some ofthe things they do are very
surprising, but it again has nobearing on like the overall

(01:08:47):
story of it if that makes sense,but it's just, it's just it was
a fun romp.
Uh, I'm sorry I talked about twoweeks in a row, then I
apologize everyone's gonna bevery angry.

Speaker 2 (01:08:55):
I didn't do anything else, though I got nothing else.
I probably have lots of otherthings, because I always start a
lot of things.
I rarely finish them.

Speaker 1 (01:09:06):
I'm a big stickler for finishing.
Yeah, I got to.

Speaker 2 (01:09:09):
Oh, I started Murderbot too.

Speaker 1 (01:09:12):
Oh wait, hey, let me start again.
We started Murderbot this week,did you?
We really enjoyed it.
Yeah, we did.

Speaker 2 (01:09:19):
Interesting.
I'm hoping it gets smoother.
You know you don't think it'sgoing to get smoother.
Did you watch all three?

Speaker 1 (01:09:29):
No, I've only watched two.
Okay, the third one dropped aswell.
I don't think it's going to getsmoother.

Speaker 2 (01:09:34):
I'll just tell you that it just you know, not that
it was not smooth, it was justyou know the way they sort of.
The way he talks is not.
I don't care for it and I feellike there could be some.
He just feels like another humanbeing speaking Sure, and I
wanted there to be some, youknow, like this and that's why I

(01:09:55):
really like Minecraft is thesecharacters felt off, kilter
enough so that they weren't justyou, didn't feel like you were.
They were just people, justnormal human beings yeah, for
sure he didn't feel like, like.
Did you ever see the?
The?
The documentary about the guywho was the king of donkey kong?

Speaker 1 (01:10:16):
king of kong uh, yeah , I watched it a couple years
ago.

Speaker 2 (01:10:20):
Yeah, that guy felt like a normal guy this movie.

Speaker 1 (01:10:24):
he is a heightened version of that, oh yeah, big
time.

Speaker 2 (01:10:29):
And Murderbot.
Nobody feels heightened in someways, where it's like he's a
robot.
I would like to see somethingabout him that makes me think oh
, he's a robot.

Speaker 1 (01:10:41):
You didn't think that when they show him naked and
he's got no pee-pee.

Speaker 2 (01:10:47):
That's not him talking and expressing in some
way.

Speaker 1 (01:10:51):
It made me laugh when he was a Barbie doll.
I thought it was funny, kendoll, excuse me.

Speaker 2 (01:10:55):
Barbie doll has all the features Jesus Christ Well,
the ones I buy, so we need a badmovie.

Speaker 1 (01:11:05):
Yeah, yeah, bring it back down, bring the podcast
back down 1996 great year.
Billy zane.
Billy zane, oh, as the lead.
Is this a billy zane led film?
Oh, boy, okay, billy zane.

Speaker 2 (01:11:22):
Batman is all the rage.
So what do we do?
We make every other superherointo a movie.
Oh, which one did he do?

Speaker 1 (01:11:28):
Did he do Phantom what?

Speaker 2 (01:11:31):
did he do?
He was the Phantom.

Speaker 1 (01:11:33):
The Phantom.
I never saw this movie.
I'm excited.
Skin tight purple suit.

Speaker 2 (01:11:38):
Sexy.
So we'll see.
The phantom is, uh, andoriginally, I believe, an
australian property, if I'm not,oh really I think it started as
an australian newspaper strip.
I could be wrong, but okay dosome research for next week I'm
gonna have to I had one phantomcomic book through my childhood
and it did not get well read, soI'm gonna have to try to

(01:12:01):
understand what the deal of thephantom is you know what?

Speaker 1 (01:12:04):
okay, it's like.

Speaker 2 (01:12:05):
We all know what batman is right.
You know his parents got killed, he's a multi-billionaire and
makes gadgets and, you know,fights crime because he's trying
to.
Whatever we all know all thesethings, the phantom fill that
void.

Speaker 1 (01:12:19):
Yeah, I don't know and I'm gonna find out.
I don't know either.
I don't know nothing about it.
I don't own any of the comicbooks.
Let's do this thing.

Speaker 2 (01:12:27):
Let's hit the Phantom .
Let's hit him.
Oh, I burped, hit it.
Well, that's the end of theshow.
If you like what you see, giveus a thumbs up, give us a like
or subscribe.
Those are all All things youcould do to or go and watch all
of our shorts, some of whichhave like 20 views and some of
which have 5,000 views.

Speaker 1 (01:12:46):
I don't yeah, I don't understand how to do shorts.
I'm just going to tell you thatright now I don't understand
the game.

Speaker 2 (01:12:52):
It just decides some of them to show to everyone and
some not show to everyone Idon't know.

Speaker 1 (01:12:56):
I don't know nothing about nothing.

Speaker 2 (01:12:58):
And we'll be back next week talking about Billy
Zane's the Phantom.
Goodbye everybody.