Have a Cup of Johanny

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I’ve spent most of my life believing that control equals safety. The Army taught me that structure keeps everything running, and for years, I carried that same mindset into my creative life. Every project, every book launch, every to-do list—I ran it like a mission.

But lately, I’ve been learning that control isn’t the same as clarity. It’s fear disguised as discipline.

In this episode of Have a Cup of Johanny, I open u...

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Perfectionism loves to lie to us—it says, “If it’s flawless, you’ll finally be safe from criticism.” But the truth is, perfectionism doesn’t protect you—it prevents you.

In this episode of Have a Cup of Johanny, I share what letting go of perfectionism has taught me as a writer, soldier, and creative woman. From the late-night rewrites that nearly drained the joy out of The Ordinary Bruja to learning that my worth isn’...

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Some days, self-doubt doesn’t shout—it whispers. It sounds like “You should be further along by now.” It looks like scrolling through someone else’s success and wondering why you’re not there yet.

In this episode of Have a Cup of Johanny, I open up about how easily I fall into the comparison trap—especially as an indie author juggling a military career, family life, and creative dreams. I talk about the “should haves,”...

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This weekend, self-doubt tried to take the wheel. While creating all the preorder goodies for The Ordinary Bruja, I caught myself thinking, “My creativity only goes as far as writing.”

My husband’s quick, “No, it doesn’t,” stopped me. He was right. I’ve taught myself Canva, Photoshop, Affinity Publisher, podcast editing, marketing copy—so much more than I gave myself credit for.

In this episode of Have a Cup of Johanny,...

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When I first found out I was pregnant, fear was the loudest emotion I felt. Not because I didn’t want my baby, but because I was terrified I’d mess it all up. Growing up in an unconventional household, raised by my grandmother after my parents’ divorce, I had no blueprint for what a “normal” family looked like. I doubted everything about myself as a soon-to-be single mom.

So I did what I always do when I’m scared: I we...

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In this episode of Have a Cup of Johanny, I open up about one of the hardest lessons I learned as a new writer: how self-doubt shaped the way I received my very first feedback.

Like many new writers, I just wanted people to love me and love my project. But instead of pausing and filtering through the feedback, I took it all to heart. I changed everything. And in the process, I lost the story I wanted to tell—and almost...

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After a painful experience at a writer’s conference, I stopped writing for a whole year. Doubt crept in, and I convinced myself maybe I just wasn’t cut out to write fiction. But the thing about silencing something you love? It never really leaves you. It nags. It whispers. It refuses to let you go.

In this episode of Have a Cup of Johanny, I share how that season of doubt led me to ask new questions: What about me? Wha...

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By the time I was nearing retirement, I had climbed as far as I could in the Army. I no longer needed points, promotions, or another degree to advance. And that’s when the question hit me: What about me? What have I done for me?

In this episode of Have a Cup of Johanny, I open up about how I finally admitted that nursing would never be my path, why business administration left me uninspired, and how I made the “selfish...

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After dropping out of college the first time, I figured higher education just wasn’t for me. Then I joined the Army—and suddenly, there I was, back at it again. Only this time, the motivation was completely different. Providing for my son lit a fire under me. I went from “College? Again?” to “Let’s go. Earn the promotion. Get the paycheck. Buy the diapers.”

Back then, online education carried a heavy stigma, but I made...

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In this first episode of my September series on higher education, I open up about the tug-of-war I felt as a teenager—caring for my grandmother while craving freedom, being accepted to UMass Amherst but landing at community college instead, and realizing I wasn’t ready the first time around.

This is a story about leaving and staying, guilt and grace, and the small seeds that stay with us—like the moment a professor tol...

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Why is it that the thing we resist most… is usually the thing we need most?

In this episode, I reflect on Day 9 of my 75-Day Soft Challenge and the moment I almost hit pause, just because I was “off” from work. That tiny urge to delay revealed something much deeper: the way my brain associates postponement with protection.

Through years of journaling and self-observation, I’ve learned that my resistance often points to ...

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Five comments in one day—just because I wore a mask.

In this episode, I share a fresh, real-time reflection on what happened when I returned to work after recovering from both COVID and the flu. Spoiler: it wasn’t the illness that hit hardest. It was the unsolicited opinions.

Why does someone else’s choice to take precautions trigger so much discomfort in others? Why do people feel entitled to comment on a boundary that...

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Have you ever ignored the quiet signs your body was sending until it had to scream to get your attention?

In this raw and reflective episode, I share what getting hit with both COVID and the flu taught me about self-trust, resistance, and listening to the whispers before they become breakdowns. From tracking my symptoms to unlearning the lie that pushing through is strength, I open up about the ways we gaslight our own...

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What if the key to moving forward was actually going back—to the routines, the rituals, the habits that once grounded you?

In this episode of Have a Cup of Johanny, I share how 43 taught me the power of structure, and why “winging it” wasn’t the freedom I thought it was. From journaling to morning rituals, from tracking my water intake to honoring my body's needs, I relearned the importance of showing up for mysel...

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What makes someone "deserving" of citizenship? A perfect GPA? Military service? Paying taxes and never making a mistake?

In this episode, we unpack the myth of the “Good Immigrant,” the notion that only exceptional, obedient, and productive immigrants are worthy of staying. We examine the origins of this narrative, its impact on our communities, and why it ultimately serves the interests of systems that profi...

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“Why don’t they just do it the right way?”

That question often arises in conversations about immigration, and this episode breaks it down. Because the truth is: there is no single immigration “line,” just a maze of inconsistent rules, long wait times, and constantly shifting policies that leave millions in limbo.

From family visas that take decades to asylum systems that have been digitally lock...

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Immigration detention is supposed to be civil not punishment.

 But across the U.S., immigrants are being held in jail-like conditions under a patchwork of outdated and inconsistent standards, many without ever being charged with a crime.

In this episode, Joa pulls back the curtain on a system designed to look like bureaucracy but feel like incarceration. We explore how ICE contracts with private prisons and local jails,...

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The phrase "anchor baby" slices through political discourse with cruel efficiency. You've heard it—perhaps on news channels, debate stages, or even from the mouths of those who share our heritage. It transforms a newborn child into a tactic, a weapon, a calculated move in some imagined immigration chess game.

But what if everything you've been told about birthright citizenship is fundament...

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"They knew what they were doing" - five words that cloak inhumanity in the disguise of justice. Every time I hear this phrase used to dismiss the suffering of immigrants caught in our broken system, something inside me recoils. Not just because it's callous, but because it's incomplete.

Today's episode cuts through the rhetoric to expose one of the most persistent and harmful myths ab...