June 2, 2025 • 42 mins
Trauma doesn't discriminate. Whether physical or psychological, it can disrupt lives and leave us feeling isolated in our suffering. But what if our darkest experiences could become a bridge to helping others?
Seantae Jackson never expected to become an advocate for trauma survivors. Then came the day her family's vehicle was struck head-on at a combined vehicle speed of 160 mph on a desolate Wyoming road. In seconds, everything changed - her husband trapped in burning wreckage, her teenage son flatlined three times in the ambulance, and every family member fighting for survival with catastrophic injuries.
From her hospital bed, Seantae made a decision that would transform her pain into purpose. Named after her husband's trauma ID bracelet, the Sandal Blue Foundation was born to ensure no accident survivor would face recovery alone. "Trauma makes us feel isolated," Shantae explains. "If the only thing we do is make people feel less alone, that's what we want to do."
Whether you've experienced trauma firsthand or support someone who has, this episode offers a roadmap for finding hope and connection when life transforms in an instant. As Seantae beautifully reminds us: "There is hope to be had, and it's worth having that hope, no matter what the ending of your movie is."
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello folks, thanks for joining us on Head Inside
Mental Health, featuringconversations about mental
health and substance usetreatment with experts,
advocates and professionals fromacross the country sharing
their thoughts and insights onthe world of behavioral health
care.
Broadcasting on WPBM 1037, thevoice of Asheville independent
commercial-free radio, I'm ToddWeatherly, your host,
(00:21):
therapeutic consultant andbehavioral health expert.
My special guest today isShante Jackson.
Shante is the co-founder andexecutive director of the Sandal
Blue Foundation, a nonprofitsupporting survivors of motor
vehicle accidents and theirfamilies.
After surviving a traumaticcrash herself, shante turned her
(00:42):
pain into purpose, advocatingfor healing, resilience and hope
in the face of medical trauma.
She now travels the country asa speaker, sharing powerful
stories that bridge the gapbetween patient experiences and
professional care.
Her down-to-earth, honestperspective makes her a trusted
voice in conversations abouttrauma recovery, mental health
and the importance ofcompassionate support.
(01:03):
Shantae, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Thank you, I'm thrilled to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Oh, I'm so glad that you are.
You know, we got connected viathe interwebs.
We found each other and I'mglad that we did.
You know a lot of the folksthat we work with that are
looking for mental healthtreatment or some kind of
specific care.
The universal is trauma.
There's not one of them thatdoesn't share a trauma story.
(01:31):
Sometimes it's familial events,sometimes that happen in life.
Many of them there's a largepercentage of those that revolve
around something that happenedto their body.
Traumatic things can happen tothe body in a lot of different
ways, but when someone gets intoan accident, I had somebody on
(01:56):
the show not too long ago whoused to be an avid biker, but
they went down pretty hard andgot injured pretty badly and now
they don't bike anymore becausethe fear got hold of them.
You know, I think that in mentalhealth care it's like what is
(02:18):
it that says you've got acondition that needs help?
You know what is it?
It's when it interrupts someportion of your life, and so I
think that if you think aboutespecially driving, just that's.
We live in a country wheregetting around and being mobile
is just not only a value, it's acommodity, it's a necessity,
(02:42):
it's, it's all of these things,and if you're struggling with
that, the ways in which thatmight impact your life, tell us,
tell us, first of all, a littlebit about your story, as much
as you're willing to share aboutthe, the incident that occurred
for you and the journey thatyou took from there on.
Just give us, give us a littlebit about your story, if you
would you bet.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
So I appreciate you pointing, pointing out that
trauma can be physical andmental.
Right, A lot of times themental comes because of the
physical impact that we've hadand it's because we protect
ourselves.
We want to be okay and we wantour loved ones to be okay.
So, to walk you through whathappened with our story we my
(03:25):
husband and I we have five kids,which includes two sets of
twins, so the twins- card there.
Yeah, we are.
You know we're that.
We're that big minivan packedfull of people.
And when our oldest twinstarted middle school, we really
value education and we wantedour boys to do as good as they
(03:46):
could and we said get a 4.0.
You can do it.
It's middle school, get a 4.0.
We'll take you backpacking asyour reward.
And for them that's like therite of passage to get to come
backpacking with mom and dad isthe thing to do.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
So it was their summer of their eighth grade
year.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
They're getting ready to go to high school.
They did fantastic and we weredriving from Utah to Wyoming to
go to a beautiful mountain rangecalled the Wind River Mountain
Range.
Tiny two lane road and it's oneof these roads that there's
nothing there's there's, it'sjust sagebrushed really long
street road, nothing around verylittle traffic, nothing and
(04:26):
nobody.
Yes, exactly Nothing and nobody.
I mean even signs.
They're like there's not evenanything to read.
Wow, and while we're driving onthis two-lane road, a semi
comes, you know, past us asnormal, just going the other way
as normal, and a car comes outto pass them.
And when this car comes out topass, we all besides this car
(04:57):
know that there's not enoughspace for them to pass us.
My husband slammed on thebrakes so hard that he's
fishtailing, trying to keepcontrol of our vehicle, and the
semi knew what was happening aswell, that they even tried to
get off the road as far as theycould to leave them room because
there was not enough time.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
And they were still going for it apparently.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
They were, and they were even speeding up to shoot
the gap.
Wow, and unfortunately therejust wasn't enough time.
We hit head-on.
Um, our car just stopped.
It was like hitting a brickwall at about 160 miles an hour
and that impact, as you canimagine, is catastrophic.
(05:39):
I mean, it's, it's just so muchimpact.
We we were really lucky, we allhad our seatbelts on, we had
great airbags, but it didn'tchange that we hit insanely hard
and fast.
We were all unconscious andwhen I woke up I had no idea
what was going on, where I was,any of those things, and I
(06:06):
glanced over my shoulder and oneof our boys was convulsing head
to toe, blood covering him.
His twin was looking at me inshock, talking gibberish, and I
changed my gaze from them nextto me where my husband was
lifeless with his arms hangingover the airbag, and I knew we
needed help and I didn't knowhow to get it.
I didn't know where we were.
(06:27):
I was able to find my phone andcall 911, where a series of
miraculous events occurred inorder for us to get help in this
place of nothing and nobody,and they were able to save us.
Lots, lots and lots and lots ofthings had to go into play for
that.
(06:47):
Our son flatlined in theambulance three times.
All of us were life flighted,besides one of our boys.
My husband was trapped in thevehicle where it actually
started on fire twice.
They had to use the jaws oflife to get him out.
He was lifeighted straight fromthe road because he was so
(07:08):
critical.
And we started this really longrecovery journey of are we
going to live and how are wegoing to live.
And then what is that going tolook like and how can we
continue on with a new normal?
Injuries spanned across thewhole body between us, lots and
(07:29):
lots and lots of broken bones.
Our son suffered a broken back,severed optical nerve and a
severe traumatic brain injury.
So he was in a medical coma fornine days and then he had to
relearn how to do everything.
He was 14 at the time.
He had to relearn how to go tothe bathroom and drink and eat
(07:53):
and talk and walk all of thosethings and, spoiler alert, he's
doing amazing.
Spoiler alert he's doing amazingand we're just really grateful
to be able to, you know,advocate for other people that
have experienced medical traumasand gone through something
challenging like this, buteverybody came through basically
(08:15):
.
Everybody in our vehicle didsurvive the driver of the other
vehicle.
They were able to save herinitially and then, from there
she did pass at the hospital acouple hours later, Wow.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Yeah, I take it, she was young, probably
inexperienced.
Is that true?
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Actually no.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
That vehicle had five people.
She was the grandma, Herdaughter was in the passenger
seat and her three grandkidswere in the back seat.
From what we've heard, theywere on their way to a family
reunion and didn't want to belate.
We've heard from other peoplethat they had passed their car
as well.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
They just they were in a hurry, just trying to get
there well, well, yeah, the costof that, of course not really
worth it, as we know.
But you know, after this, Imean, I think a lot of us can
(09:19):
share in some of these things.
You know, I was hit by a car at17 years of age on my bike, at
50 miles an hour.
I walked out of the hospitalthe next day, go figure, at 17
years of age, on my bike, at 50miles an hour.
Oh my gosh.
I walked out of the hospitalthe next day, go figure, wow.
So I was bruised and scarredand everything else, but I
(09:41):
walked out of the hospital andso I've seen that and you know,
as a young kid even totaled acouple of cars because of going
too fast.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
My son's done the same thing.
We have very close friends whoyou know a driver came on, was
doing over in excess of 100miles an hour and rear-ended and
killed this family, our closefriend's father, and so there's
two boys out there who are youknow they had to.
He survived to get to thehospital but he was, you know,
(10:15):
he was an active guy, he was astrong guy, but he was on.
They took him off machines.
So you've got two sons who arevery young.
They're having to make thatdecision for their dad.
And you know whether you'reinvolved in the accident or
you're a person who's witnessedto the accident or you're
suffering, as a family member,the consequences of this thing
(10:36):
that's happened to your familymember, like that trauma has.
It works its way and not justinto one person but into the
family system.
Right.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
So I mean, that's the , that's the story that you
share in terms of the incident,and it sounds like there's some
miraculous recovery story that'sin there as well.
Yeah, but tell me, you know,after the accident happens and
you go through all the stuffthat you've got to go through
medically even your son who hadto learn how to walk and talk
(11:08):
again, right, Um, after thatlives, this memory, lives in
your mind and event and, uh, Ithink that when people are
interrupted in their lives bytheir trauma, it's because of
because their mind is turned,that that that fight or flight
(11:30):
mechanism is turned on you know,it.
it receives stimuli.
It's like, hey, it's probablynot safe and and and maybe it is
and maybe it isn't.
Their evaluator is a little offbecause they've got a traumatic
experience that's hijackingthem Right.
Did you have that experience?
Did you feel hijacked for along?
Speaker 2 (11:50):
time.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Like tell me about that at the after recovery, the
recovery, after the recovery.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Right, absolutely.
You know, and, and I think alot of people can also relate to
you know when you say after therecovery.
A lot of times the recovery isa continual thing and a forever
thing, especially if we'retalking about mental, um,
physically, my family members,like my husband, had to relearn
how to walk as well, but his wasbecause of his bones, um, and
his recovery will be forever.
(12:16):
He's going to continue to workon, uh, regaining function and
things like that.
But as far as when we're ableto get past, uh, some of the
really acute physical thingsthat are happening, that that
fight or flight response, oh mygosh.
Yes, of course we experiencedthat, and as you're talking
(12:40):
about where it's like thisfamily unit, it affects
everybody, whether you were init or around it.
Something that I always thinkof is it's kind of like we
didn't know what the end of thatmovie was going to look like,
and that's why it feelstraumatic, because you don't
know what the end of the movieis going to look like, and it's
this every moment of a thing ofare they going to die?
(13:02):
I mean, in the end, that's thatwas our biggest concern.
And if they do survive, what isthat going to look like and
that's where my mind wouldalways go.
It would go back to especiallythe events that I told you
initially when I first woke up,some of those images.
I'm a very visual person.
(13:22):
I'm a visual learner.
I taught art for 10 years.
I mean, I'm visual and sobecause of some of the things I
saw and that that's the biggestthing for me and I know it's
different for other people, butfor me it was because of the
things I saw something in mynormal life would trigger my
(13:42):
brain and it would just go rightback there and I would see
those things and I'd be in avery normal situation and seeing
those things and replayingthose things and just like
you're talking about you, justyou get stuck, it just it just
whirls around and it gets stuckand I would fight it.
I'd be like I do not.
Why would I want to see thisagain?
(14:04):
That that was horrible.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
We stopped playing this real.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Exactly.
We don't need this on repeat.
Let's pause this.
And I would fight it and fightit and fight it and fight it.
And for those of you listeningthat don't know this, the
fighting it keeps it there.
It it really really kept itthere, harder and harder and it
came stronger and stronger andstronger.
And I had to, you know, workthrough a lot of understanding
(14:30):
how trauma works and how ourbrains work, to understand to
kind of flow with it, whichfeels counterintuitive, but, as
I, would flow with it, like allright, we're going to, we're
going to, we're going to watchit, we're going to sit here and
watch it.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
And we were watching this movie again.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Exactly, and let it pass.
And you know, for for our sonthat um wasn't life-flighted,
his name's Cameron and for himhis is all audio.
He listened to his dad come inand out of shock, um, and in and
out of consciousness, and um itwas, it was all audio.
And so for him, and um it was,it was all audio, and so for him
(15:11):
that movie that's playing, it'sa soundtrack, and for him it's
just in and out.
In and out, same thing.
Fought it, fought it, fought it.
Because why do you want to?
You don't want to hear your dadwhile he's dying, like that's
not something that's pleasant.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
I can't wait to never feel this way again, right
exactly.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Exactly, um, anyway.
So, yes, absolutely, that issomething that has occurred for
us.
All of us, um, including thepeople that weren't in the
vehicle.
Like I mentioned, we had threeother kids.
They were not there and theyare the ones that got the phone
call, and they were 11, and an11 year old and two eight year
olds at the time.
(15:47):
I mean eight, oh, I just can'timagine being eight, getting a
phone call that half your familymight not make it, and it was
unexpected, you know.
So, yes, it's a very real thingand, and we continue to work
through it every day, that'ssomething that I did not expect.
I thought, ah, give it a year,ah, I give it two years.
(16:08):
That's not the case.
Time doesn't make my brainrespond different.
I just learn how to work withit better.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Now, so you know, we go some years right after this
event.
Yeah, and you, this movie keepsplaying for you.
The audio reel, the, the, thevideo reel, whichever it is, the
experience of it still lives on.
(16:40):
Yeah, and so I you know, thesandal blue foundation is what
was born out of this.
Yes, this, yes, I'm assumingcorrect me if I'm wrong that
this is part of the way thatyou've chosen to embrace it I
love that you know thatintuitively well, and it's like
(17:01):
if I'm gonna have to play thismovie yeah I want other people
to benefit from what this is,and maybe they've gone through
it and they need help.
Maybe they're a person who needsto be careful with their
driving.
You know, I want the world tounderstand what this means and
how is like?
How has that journey been foryou?
(17:22):
Like, when did it?
When did you decide to startspeaking about it and helping
others and and create afoundation?
And then how has that been foryou?
Speaker 2 (17:31):
It's been so beautiful.
It's been so beautiful, I thinkyou know you talk about how,
you know the people that youwork with and everything.
There's some form of a traumaand often we think trauma is
just every few people you know,whatever.
But I think everybody canrelate to trauma in some form
and for me, I would never chooseit.
(17:54):
You know we talk about if youcould go back.
You know I would never chooseit.
However, because it happened,I'm so grateful.
My life looks completelydifferent.
I mean completely different.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
How so.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
What do you mean by that?
You know it comes down to thelittle things and the big things
.
I, because of my physicalinjuries, I can't even like
sleep in the same way that I didbefore.
You know, I was a side sleeper.
I can't do that anymore.
I've got to be a back sleeperand that sounds like a little
thing, but it's not, you knowlike I'm reminded of, this
constantly right, you know Right.
Yes, and it's just I, I can'tget away from it, I guess as
(18:34):
part of what I'm saying.
And then, in the big ways, myoccupation's different.
Uh, my husband and I were bothout of work for a year, my
husband almost two and a half.
The things that we do with ourtime is different.
I mean everything, everythingis different.
But it's amazing, and this paththat you're asking about it
(18:55):
came pretty quickly.
My husband and I were both inseparate hospital rooms and we
had a moment it was like day two.
We both had a moment separatelythat we were like we got to
help other people.
We got, we got to do, I got todo something like we're going to
do something to help otherpeople that have been through
this.
And at that time my husband hehad both of his legs, uh,
(19:19):
totally wrapped.
He'd had tons of surgeries, hehad a broken arm, so it was all
wrapped up and all he could seewas his name band on his wrist
and at that time his name wasnot his name, it was a trauma
name.
So they give you like a JohnDoe name when you're in
something that extreme, and hisname, his trauma name, was
(19:43):
Sandal Blue, and so he's layingin his hospital bed.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Isn't that amazing.
He's laying in his hospital bed.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Isn't that amazing.
He's laying in his hospital bed, going we got to do something.
We got to do something to helpother people, and he looks down
and he goes.
I don't know what we're goingto do, but we're going to call
it Sandal Blue.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
That's great.
What a great naming story.
That's fantastic.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
And down the road.
You know, it was probably.
Maybe six months later we'redriving hours to go to an
appointment because we live in asmall town We've got to drive
quite a ways to go and get to adoctor's appointment.
And I mentioned, hey, I hadthis thought when we were in the
hospital, like I really wouldlike to help other people.
And he looks at me and he'slike I had the same thought.
(20:25):
And I pull out a notebook andwe just start writing down all
the ideas Like what does thismean?
What kind of help could we give, what kind of help did we need
and have we needed and do weneed?
And you know, you hear aboutcar accidents every day, every
day, catastrophic, fatal caraccidents every day.
But when you're the one in it,you feel like you're the only
(20:46):
person that's been through it.
And I think trauma does that tous.
Trauma makes us feel isolatedand we were like I don't know
what it is, but we don't wantpeople to feel alone anymore,
like if that's the only thing wedo, that's what we want to do.
And from there, just, oh, itjust blossomed into this
beautiful journey of connectingwith other people that have been
(21:06):
through really hard things andit's a beautiful, beautiful
place to be in.
Like you said, it is part ofour healing.
It's a huge part of our healing.
People talk about turningtrauma into purpose, and this is
, this has been ours, and thenit branched.
You know, we, we were doing alot of speaking and advocating
(21:27):
about safe driving, and Isecretly have wanted to be a, an
inspirational speaker since Iwas about 13, but I've never
told anybody.
And as we were speaking moreand more, I was like, oh, I
wonder if my dream could cometrue, like this would be amazing
.
And then people started askingme to speak more and more and
(21:48):
I'm like I think I think this, Ithink I could do this.
I I think I can uh create a wayfor me to connect with people
and for them to not feel alone.
If it's one person each timethat just feels, uh, like what a
great thing to do here on earth.
And so that's kind of been ourjourney and our path since.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
So the other piece that I think is important.
Here you're speaking to people,you're educating people, you're
bringing the story of yourtrauma so that people don't feel
alone.
And there's a saying inrecovery circles that you know
community is the intervention,connection is the intervention.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Yeah, and you know it sounds like that's part of what
you're bringing to this.
You know let's call it achannel of trauma, like there
are people who experience thistrauma or they're connected to
it in some way and they'rereceiving your message.
And you know part of that isnot feeling alone.
What is the other stuff thatpeople, what are they getting
(22:55):
from connection with you andhearing your story?
How is it?
You know, what are the storiesabout, how it's built resilience
for others?
Like, have you got some?
I'm sure you've probably got acouple of cool stories.
Tell us a cool story thatsomebody else experienced as a
result of meeting you.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Resilience is an interesting thing because I
think often we assume that thatit's an aftermath, that
resilience is an aftermath andit can be, because I think a lot
of times you go throughsomething hard and then you show
you're resilient and thenyou're like, oh, look like I can
do hard things, look at that.
But I do think it's importantto remember that we can build
(23:39):
our resiliency before a hardthing as well.
In the medical world, a lot oftimes you know doctors and
healthcare workers.
They'll talk about people'sbaseline like where were they
before?
Are you back to that baseline?
And if we're able to build thatbaseline before something
(23:59):
really challenging comes, itdoes make a really big
difference of how we respondafterwards as well, and I
personally feel like both ofthose are really really
important, the before and theafter.
As far as a cool story withresiliency, I'm like trying to
pick one.
Right, let's pick whichresiliency story do I want to
(24:21):
share?
Okay, let's go with this.
So our son that had a severetraumatic brain injury his
name's Owen, and I want to sharea little bit about Owen.
Before the accident, owen isintroverted.
He's a musician, skateboarder.
He is a deep, deep thinker.
(24:42):
I mean when he was like twoyears old, I could tell he was
processing everything.
He just he is an old soul and adeep thinker and that's just.
That's just Owen Always hasbeen.
He's one of those kids thatremembers everything.
Like we'd go to the park he waslike five and we'd meet
somebody there and go home andI'd be like Owen I don't
(25:04):
remember that mom's name andhe'd be like, oh, was it the mom
in the red shirt or the blueshirt?
Mommy, I think she had a redshirt.
Oh, was her hair brown?
But then at the bottom it was alittle bit lighter.
And, like you know, he goesthrough all the things.
I'm like, yes, he's like, oh,her name was Jane, I Jane.
(25:25):
I'm like, oh, thanks, but right, so Owen's just this kid that
he remembers everything, hethinks deeply, he loves to work.
He wanted to be the kid mowingthe lawn way before it was safe
for him to go.
That's, that's Owen.
And after he was off, beingasleep from his medically
induced coma, they were asking alot of him.
Right, he didn't.
(25:46):
He doesn't remember any of this.
He has a lot of amnesia becauseof his brain injury, but
they're asking him to do thingsthat are uncomfortable, like I
want you to try to move your toe, I want you to try to talk.
You know these things, that hisbrain, those parts of his brain
, had been damaged and he'sliterally building new roads.
(26:07):
Um, this, this path won't work,so I got to build a new way to
do it, and it is reallychallenging to do that.
Every single time they askedhim, he did it.
And about a year after theaccident, we're getting ready to
(26:30):
go to a follow-up appointmentwith his neurologist and every
time we go to the appointments,they're telling him what he
can't do because he still hashave about two years for that
brain to create new paths.
And if, if, if, he got hit inthe head again I mean there's
all sorts of scenarios hewouldn't, it wouldn't, it
(26:52):
wouldn't.
Potentially he wouldn't make it, and so he had tons of
restrictions.
So he's now this 15 year oldkid.
We're walking into anappointment to hear all the
things he can't do.
He was.
He was a competitive soccerplayer, he skateboarded, he
wasn't allowed to do any ofthose things anymore, and we get
ready to walk in and he saidmom, I want to do something
(27:13):
different today.
I'm like okay, I said, I want toknow what I can do.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
I'm like what do you mean?
Speaker 2 (27:21):
He's like we always sit here and talk about all the
things I can't do.
What?
Speaker 1 (27:25):
can I do?
I want to know what.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
I can do I was like that's a fantastic idea.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Let's do it.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
So this neurologist walks in, we start doing the
normal chat and I said I justwant to pause you and let you
know that Owen's intention todayis to make the longest list of
the things that he can do.
She cracks up.
I'm like what is so funny?
And she goes nobody has everasked me that.
Nobody has ever asked me whatcan I do.
(27:56):
And I got out my notebook and Istarted writing down and it was
a ridiculous list.
It was like skit weaving,crocheting I mean, 15 year old
boys don't necessarily lovedoing these things but we filled
like a page and a half ofthings that he could do and we
walked out and he goes.
You know, mom, I know I can'tchange what happened, I know I
(28:19):
can't change where my brain's at, but look at all of the things
that I can do and I'm going tostart doing these things.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
What a great story.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
What a kid.
I mean just what a kid.
It still gives me chillsthinking about it.
And he lives to this day.
You know, like that, what can Ido?
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Well, I think that you know, from the standpoint of
you know mental health recoveryas well, it's know.
The approach is the same.
You know, you get people whoselives get interrupted for
whatever reason and and whatthey?
One of the questions that weask is well, what do you want to
(28:57):
do?
What's your dream?
You know, you know that justbecause you have this thing that
you've got to deal with doesn'tmean that you don't have dreams
, or shouldn't have dreams, orcan't fulfill them.
And you get a very similarresponse when you start engaging
with a person in that line ofquestioning.
(29:17):
As the doctor, it's like, oh,nobody has ever asked me that.
It's like I hadn't reallythought of it that way, because
we tend to look at things as thethings that they've stopped us
from doing or they've kept usfrom doing or they've cut off
from us, as opposed to, you know, creating that new pathway
around this blockage intosomething where we can find life
again.
(29:37):
Right, and it, you know, itsounds like your son kind of had
that wisdom in him already, um,and brought it to the rest of
the world.
I really love hearing thatstory because I think that's the
piece that advises people.
That's the thing that familiesneed to hear.
It's like what can you do?
And when you speak, how doesyour audience receive you?
(30:02):
Do they come up to you?
It's like I'm really, you know,I'm so happy that you told me
this story because we had thisand everything else.
I never thought of it Like whatis the feedback from your
audience about your sharing ofyour story?
Speaker 2 (30:18):
I'll say those moments are my very favorite.
The after when I get to connectone-on-one, it's the best,
because I get to hear wherethey're coming from, like you
say, and what actually resonatedwith them and what it was.
It was like, oh, I needed tohear that thing.
It's different.
(30:38):
It's different for everybody,except that it's universal right
.
I feel like that's kind of howit is in this world, where
people resonate with differentthings, but it's the same thing
and I love that.
You said the channel of traumaright.
Like we're creating thiscommunity, that we're together
(30:59):
through completely differentthings, and the feedback is, you
know, it kind of depends onwhat I'm speaking to, because I
have a few different keynotesand some are geared towards
patient perspective.
I'm talking to healthcareworkers or emergency crews and
for them the feedback is thankyou for reminding me why I do
(31:23):
what we do.
And that's what you're talkingabout with.
You know finding what you can doinstead of what you can't do.
It's finding your why.
Again, it's kind of findingyour purpose and your motivation
that can propel you forward.
You know, I think about, like,when we were in physical therapy
if I didn't have a reason totry to get my range of motion
(31:44):
back, why would I go throughthat pain, you know?
So finding that connection ofwhat's important to me is why we
do what we do, and that tendsto be the feedback of thank you
for reminding me that.
You know, the lives that I'msaving are people like you.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
There's a story that goes on after they've left my
care, you know.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Exactly and all so often whether it's your line of
work, or emergency responders.
You see them for a snapshot,you only see them for a snapshot
and you're doing what you dobecause you care.
And so then you wonder, youknow, like, how are they doing?
And so to get these, reminders.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
They only see you for a snapshot, you know, and then
you're talking about a.
You're talking about aworkforce that's pretty high on
the suicide alley list YepEmergency workers and things
like that.
I think it's because they don'tget to hear this story.
All they see is the terriblething.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Exactly.
You know yes, and and um.
I don't want to go too far fromyour question, but we were able
to go back a year after ouraccident and thank everybody
that had responded to our calland it was the most incredible
experience of my life.
I don't want anybody to gothrough something like I did,
(33:12):
but that experience is thesingle most incredible
experience of my life.
They thought we had died.
When I called the hospital andsaid we're coming up on a year
from an accident that you guysresponded to, I'd love to come
in person and personally.
Thank you guys.
She started crying on the phoneand I was like hello and she
goes.
Oh, I remember you.
We didn't think any of you madeit and to be able to go back.
(33:33):
I mean and there was a lot ofpeople that responded to go back
and thank them.
Um has been life-changing forus, but for them and then you
talk about how trauma affectsother people.
We had a lot of Good Samaritansthat helped a lot at the scene,
that did things that saved ourlives.
(33:55):
We are continuing to try toconnect with them, but the ones
that we have connected, with ithas been very healing for them
to get more than that snapshot,for them to see how we're doing
today, and I mean some of themare family now.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Right, well, I think you're restoring hope for people
.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
And not, you know, not just people who see you.
You know, see a family that'sexperienced this terrible event
but also came through the otherside.
You see a family that'sexperienced this terrible event
but also came through the otherside.
You're talking about theproviders and the emergency
(34:37):
folks and the caretakers and allthose people who are involved.
They, in their mind, livesomewhere.
I can imagine that I've onlyseen this person for this moment
.
They were in terrible shapewhen I saw them.
I'm pretty convinced that theywere never going to make it.
And then the story that livesin my mind is that terrible
things happen to people and thenthey die.
Yep, but then you come back andyou replace this narrative.
(35:00):
It's like terrible thingshappen to people.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
And because I helped they lived.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
Yeah, I mean in that you know that's just got, that's
got so much warmth and so muchworth you know I think it can
carry a person a long way.
The connection is what is wherethe value is.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
You know so yeah, and you can feel the difference
even as you're speaking it, likeI can physically feel the
difference.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
It's like letting light into a room, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (35:31):
Yeah, yeah, and, and, and I agree, um, I think we
hold a lot of power that weforget about that.
Those stories that we tellourselves or the stories that we
allow other people to hear orfeel they really can make a big
difference for, like you said,potentially carrying somebody a
really long way because there ishope to be had.
(35:55):
And I think that's always mymessage is, there is hope to be
had.
I had one doctor when Owen wasstill in his coma.
He pulled me aside in the PICUand said I've never met a parent
who wished they had hoped less,meaning he'd seen tons of kids
die tons, but he'd never met aparent that was like, oh, I wish
(36:18):
I didn't hope that they wouldlive.
There is hope to be had.
And it's worth having that hope.
There is hope to be had andit's worth having that hope, no
matter what the ending of themovie is having that hope is
going to help you move forward.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
It's not, it hopes not.
Just a one note thing, right.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
Right, well, and you know, with the little bit of
time that we have left, I wantto ask you this as well what is
it that Sandal Blue Foundationdoes?
Obviously, education,connection, community are things
that are part of its purpose,but how do people connect?
What is your mission, what areyou trying to get out there and
(36:57):
do?
Tell us a little bit about thefoundation, just a bit.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Yeah, you know our core is solution-focused.
Yeah, you know our core issolution focused.
We really like to help peoplefind solutions and empower them
(37:21):
that's it's huge.
Or connecting them to othercommunities so that they know
that they can get through.
And we really like to helppeople find purpose again.
It's something that you know.
You talk about changes in yournormal.
A lot of times you lose yourpurpose when you go through
(37:42):
something like this, whetherit's a big medical trauma or
something else, your purposeshifts.
And so, helping people findthat purpose again, connecting
to other resources we doone-on-one hospital visits where
we get to go bedside.
I love it more than anything toget to connect with patients and
(38:02):
caregivers and and justwhatever you know have
conversations about.
Let's sit in this hearttogether.
Let's just sit here quietly inthe heart together.
Or let's problem solve.
Or let's talk about yourtransitions and how you're going
to get home and what that'sgoing to look like and provide
resources for that.
Or send my son a text.
(38:24):
You know, let's have, excuse me, let's have the two patients
that are both teenage boys.
Let's have them talk to eachother so that they know that
it's not just a bunch of momsthat care that there's also
other teenagers that have beenthrough hard things like this
and creating that community withthem.
As far as finding us, we have awebsite and if, if anybody is
(38:46):
looking for you know some hopeor connection or purpose, they
can find us there as well.
As if, uh, organizations arelooking for speakers that, like
me, that are wanting to share apersonal message and connect
with people that way when's thethe next time you speak?
Speaker 1 (39:03):
What's your next gig?
Speaker 2 (39:07):
Oh, I'm trying to think of you know this isn't my
next one, but I've got a big, abig trauma conference with uh,
uh, you know hundreds of nurses.
I'm thrilled for that.
I love being able to connectjust with you know, again,
connection.
I keep saying connection, likethat must be my, my word for
2025.
(39:28):
And I can't think of anythingbetter than to have connection.
We're, however, many years pastCOVID as far as quarantine goes
and it just feels good toconnect again and and to form
relationships with people toknow that I got you.
I go through the hard too.
(39:48):
You can go through the hard.
We can allow those flashbacks,we can flow with them.
We can flow with them so theydon't get stuck.
Then they'll continue flowingdown the river and we can move
on with our life.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
We can sit in the hard to the other right.
Exactly I like that statementcan move on with our life.
We can sit in the heart to theother right.
Exactly that's a.
I like that statement.
Well, Shantae, it has been apleasure to have you on the show
.
I look forward to maybecatching one of your speaking
engagements or catch you at aconference somewhere along the
way.
We'll link, of course, SandalBlue in the socials as we post
(40:22):
our videos and put it out on theradio and everything else, but
thank you so much for taking thetime with me today.
This has been Head InsideMental Health with Shante
(41:49):
Jackson, the Sandal BlueFoundation.
Shante, thanks for joining us.
Thank you.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
I feel so lonely and lost inhere.
I need to find my way home.
I feel so lonely and lost inhere.
(42:13):
I need to find my way home.
I feel so lonely and lost inhere.
I need to find my way home.
I feel so lonely and lost inhere.
Bye.
Hello folks, thanks for joining us on Head Inside
Mental Health, featuringconversations about mental
health and substance usetreatment with experts,
advocates and professionals fromacross the country sharing
their thoughts and insights onthe world of behavioral health
care.
Broadcasting on WPBM 1037, thevoice of Asheville independent
commercial-free radio, I'm ToddWeatherly, your host,
(00:21):
therapeutic consultant andbehavioral health expert.
My special guest today isShante Jackson.
Shante is the co-founder andexecutive director of the Sandal
Blue Foundation, a nonprofitsupporting survivors of motor
vehicle accidents and theirfamilies.
After surviving a traumaticcrash herself, shante turned her
(00:42):
pain into purpose, advocatingfor healing, resilience and hope
in the face of medical trauma.
She now travels the country asa speaker, sharing powerful
stories that bridge the gapbetween patient experiences and
professional care.
Her down-to-earth, honestperspective makes her a trusted
voice in conversations abouttrauma recovery, mental health
and the importance ofcompassionate support.
(01:03):
Shantae, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Thank you, I'm thrilled to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Oh, I'm so glad that you are.
You know, we got connected viathe interwebs.
We found each other and I'mglad that we did.
You know a lot of the folksthat we work with that are
looking for mental healthtreatment or some kind of
specific care.
The universal is trauma.
There's not one of them thatdoesn't share a trauma story.
(01:31):
Sometimes it's familial events,sometimes that happen in life.
Many of them there's a largepercentage of those that revolve
around something that happenedto their body.
Traumatic things can happen tothe body in a lot of different
ways, but when someone gets intoan accident, I had somebody on
(01:56):
the show not too long ago whoused to be an avid biker, but
they went down pretty hard andgot injured pretty badly and now
they don't bike anymore becausethe fear got hold of them.
You know, I think that in mentalhealth care it's like what is
(02:18):
it that says you've got acondition that needs help?
You know what is it?
It's when it interrupts someportion of your life, and so I
think that if you think aboutespecially driving, just that's.
We live in a country wheregetting around and being mobile
is just not only a value, it's acommodity, it's a necessity,
(02:42):
it's, it's all of these things,and if you're struggling with
that, the ways in which thatmight impact your life, tell us,
tell us, first of all, a littlebit about your story, as much
as you're willing to share aboutthe, the incident that occurred
for you and the journey thatyou took from there on.
Just give us, give us a littlebit about your story, if you
would you bet.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
So I appreciate you pointing, pointing out that
trauma can be physical andmental.
Right, A lot of times themental comes because of the
physical impact that we've hadand it's because we protect
ourselves.
We want to be okay and we wantour loved ones to be okay.
So, to walk you through whathappened with our story we my
(03:25):
husband and I we have five kids,which includes two sets of
twins, so the twins- card there.
Yeah, we are.
You know we're that.
We're that big minivan packedfull of people.
And when our oldest twinstarted middle school, we really
value education and we wantedour boys to do as good as they
(03:46):
could and we said get a 4.0.
You can do it.
It's middle school, get a 4.0.
We'll take you backpacking asyour reward.
And for them that's like therite of passage to get to come
backpacking with mom and dad isthe thing to do.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
So it was their summer of their eighth grade
year.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
They're getting ready to go to high school.
They did fantastic and we weredriving from Utah to Wyoming to
go to a beautiful mountain rangecalled the Wind River Mountain
Range.
Tiny two lane road and it's oneof these roads that there's
nothing there's there's, it'sjust sagebrushed really long
street road, nothing around verylittle traffic, nothing and
(04:26):
nobody.
Yes, exactly Nothing and nobody.
I mean even signs.
They're like there's not evenanything to read.
Wow, and while we're driving onthis two-lane road, a semi
comes, you know, past us asnormal, just going the other way
as normal, and a car comes outto pass them.
And when this car comes out topass, we all besides this car
(04:57):
know that there's not enoughspace for them to pass us.
My husband slammed on thebrakes so hard that he's
fishtailing, trying to keepcontrol of our vehicle, and the
semi knew what was happening aswell, that they even tried to
get off the road as far as theycould to leave them room because
there was not enough time.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
And they were still going for it apparently.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
They were, and they were even speeding up to shoot
the gap.
Wow, and unfortunately therejust wasn't enough time.
We hit head-on.
Um, our car just stopped.
It was like hitting a brickwall at about 160 miles an hour
and that impact, as you canimagine, is catastrophic.
(05:39):
I mean, it's, it's just so muchimpact.
We we were really lucky, we allhad our seatbelts on, we had
great airbags, but it didn'tchange that we hit insanely hard
and fast.
We were all unconscious andwhen I woke up I had no idea
what was going on, where I was,any of those things, and I
(06:06):
glanced over my shoulder and oneof our boys was convulsing head
to toe, blood covering him.
His twin was looking at me inshock, talking gibberish, and I
changed my gaze from them nextto me where my husband was
lifeless with his arms hangingover the airbag, and I knew we
needed help and I didn't knowhow to get it.
I didn't know where we were.
(06:27):
I was able to find my phone andcall 911, where a series of
miraculous events occurred inorder for us to get help in this
place of nothing and nobody,and they were able to save us.
Lots, lots and lots and lots ofthings had to go into play for
that.
(06:47):
Our son flatlined in theambulance three times.
All of us were life flighted,besides one of our boys.
My husband was trapped in thevehicle where it actually
started on fire twice.
They had to use the jaws oflife to get him out.
He was lifeighted straight fromthe road because he was so
(07:08):
critical.
And we started this really longrecovery journey of are we
going to live and how are wegoing to live.
And then what is that going tolook like and how can we
continue on with a new normal?
Injuries spanned across thewhole body between us, lots and
(07:29):
lots and lots of broken bones.
Our son suffered a broken back,severed optical nerve and a
severe traumatic brain injury.
So he was in a medical coma fornine days and then he had to
relearn how to do everything.
He was 14 at the time.
He had to relearn how to go tothe bathroom and drink and eat
(07:53):
and talk and walk all of thosethings and, spoiler alert, he's
doing amazing.
Spoiler alert he's doing amazingand we're just really grateful
to be able to, you know,advocate for other people that
have experienced medical traumasand gone through something
challenging like this, buteverybody came through basically
(08:15):
.
Everybody in our vehicle didsurvive the driver of the other
vehicle.
They were able to save herinitially and then, from there
she did pass at the hospital acouple hours later, Wow.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Yeah, I take it, she was young, probably
inexperienced.
Is that true?
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Actually no.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
That vehicle had five people.
She was the grandma, Herdaughter was in the passenger
seat and her three grandkidswere in the back seat.
From what we've heard, theywere on their way to a family
reunion and didn't want to belate.
We've heard from other peoplethat they had passed their car
as well.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
They just they were in a hurry, just trying to get
there well, well, yeah, the costof that, of course not really
worth it, as we know.
But you know, after this, Imean, I think a lot of us can
(09:19):
share in some of these things.
You know, I was hit by a car at17 years of age on my bike, at
50 miles an hour.
I walked out of the hospitalthe next day, go figure, at 17
years of age, on my bike, at 50miles an hour.
Oh my gosh.
I walked out of the hospitalthe next day, go figure, wow.
So I was bruised and scarredand everything else, but I
(09:41):
walked out of the hospital andso I've seen that and you know,
as a young kid even totaled acouple of cars because of going
too fast.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
My son's done the same thing.
We have very close friends whoyou know a driver came on, was
doing over in excess of 100miles an hour and rear-ended and
killed this family, our closefriend's father, and so there's
two boys out there who are youknow they had to.
He survived to get to thehospital but he was, you know,
(10:15):
he was an active guy, he was astrong guy, but he was on.
They took him off machines.
So you've got two sons who arevery young.
They're having to make thatdecision for their dad.
And you know whether you'reinvolved in the accident or
you're a person who's witnessedto the accident or you're
suffering, as a family member,the consequences of this thing
(10:36):
that's happened to your familymember, like that trauma has.
It works its way and not justinto one person but into the
family system.
Right.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
So I mean, that's the , that's the story that you
share in terms of the incident,and it sounds like there's some
miraculous recovery story that'sin there as well.
Yeah, but tell me, you know,after the accident happens and
you go through all the stuffthat you've got to go through
medically even your son who hadto learn how to walk and talk
(11:08):
again, right, Um, after thatlives, this memory, lives in
your mind and event and, uh, Ithink that when people are
interrupted in their lives bytheir trauma, it's because of
because their mind is turned,that that that fight or flight
(11:30):
mechanism is turned on you know,it.
it receives stimuli.
It's like, hey, it's probablynot safe and and and maybe it is
and maybe it isn't.
Their evaluator is a little offbecause they've got a traumatic
experience that's hijackingthem Right.
Did you have that experience?
Did you feel hijacked for along?
Speaker 2 (11:50):
time.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Like tell me about that at the after recovery, the
recovery, after the recovery.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Right, absolutely.
You know, and, and I think alot of people can also relate to
you know when you say after therecovery.
A lot of times the recovery isa continual thing and a forever
thing, especially if we'retalking about mental, um,
physically, my family members,like my husband, had to relearn
how to walk as well, but his wasbecause of his bones, um, and
his recovery will be forever.
(12:16):
He's going to continue to workon, uh, regaining function and
things like that.
But as far as when we're ableto get past, uh, some of the
really acute physical thingsthat are happening, that that
fight or flight response, oh mygosh.
Yes, of course we experiencedthat, and as you're talking
(12:40):
about where it's like thisfamily unit, it affects
everybody, whether you were init or around it.
Something that I always thinkof is it's kind of like we
didn't know what the end of thatmovie was going to look like,
and that's why it feelstraumatic, because you don't
know what the end of the movieis going to look like, and it's
this every moment of a thing ofare they going to die?
(13:02):
I mean, in the end, that's thatwas our biggest concern.
And if they do survive, what isthat going to look like and
that's where my mind wouldalways go.
It would go back to especiallythe events that I told you
initially when I first woke up,some of those images.
I'm a very visual person.
(13:22):
I'm a visual learner.
I taught art for 10 years.
I mean, I'm visual and sobecause of some of the things I
saw and that that's the biggestthing for me and I know it's
different for other people, butfor me it was because of the
things I saw something in mynormal life would trigger my
(13:42):
brain and it would just go rightback there and I would see
those things and I'd be in avery normal situation and seeing
those things and replayingthose things and just like
you're talking about you, justyou get stuck, it just it just
whirls around and it gets stuckand I would fight it.
I'd be like I do not.
Why would I want to see thisagain?
(14:04):
That that was horrible.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
We stopped playing this real.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Exactly.
We don't need this on repeat.
Let's pause this.
And I would fight it and fightit and fight it and fight it.
And for those of you listeningthat don't know this, the
fighting it keeps it there.
It it really really kept itthere, harder and harder and it
came stronger and stronger andstronger.
And I had to, you know, workthrough a lot of understanding
(14:30):
how trauma works and how ourbrains work, to understand to
kind of flow with it, whichfeels counterintuitive, but, as
I, would flow with it, like allright, we're going to, we're
going to, we're going to watchit, we're going to sit here and
watch it.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
And we were watching this movie again.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Exactly, and let it pass.
And you know, for for our sonthat um wasn't life-flighted,
his name's Cameron and for himhis is all audio.
He listened to his dad come inand out of shock, um, and in and
out of consciousness, and um itwas, it was all audio.
And so for him, and um it was,it was all audio, and so for him
(15:11):
that movie that's playing, it'sa soundtrack, and for him it's
just in and out.
In and out, same thing.
Fought it, fought it, fought it.
Because why do you want to?
You don't want to hear your dadwhile he's dying, like that's
not something that's pleasant.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
I can't wait to never feel this way again, right
exactly.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Exactly, um, anyway.
So, yes, absolutely, that issomething that has occurred for
us.
All of us, um, including thepeople that weren't in the
vehicle.
Like I mentioned, we had threeother kids.
They were not there and theyare the ones that got the phone
call, and they were 11, and an11 year old and two eight year
olds at the time.
(15:47):
I mean eight, oh, I just can'timagine being eight, getting a
phone call that half your familymight not make it, and it was
unexpected, you know.
So, yes, it's a very real thingand, and we continue to work
through it every day, that'ssomething that I did not expect.
I thought, ah, give it a year,ah, I give it two years.
(16:08):
That's not the case.
Time doesn't make my brainrespond different.
I just learn how to work withit better.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Now, so you know, we go some years right after this
event.
Yeah, and you, this movie keepsplaying for you.
The audio reel, the, the, thevideo reel, whichever it is, the
experience of it still lives on.
(16:40):
Yeah, and so I you know, thesandal blue foundation is what
was born out of this.
Yes, this, yes, I'm assumingcorrect me if I'm wrong that
this is part of the way thatyou've chosen to embrace it I
love that you know thatintuitively well, and it's like
(17:01):
if I'm gonna have to play thismovie yeah I want other people
to benefit from what this is,and maybe they've gone through
it and they need help.
Maybe they're a person who needsto be careful with their
driving.
You know, I want the world tounderstand what this means and
how is like?
How has that journey been foryou?
(17:22):
Like, when did it?
When did you decide to startspeaking about it and helping
others and and create afoundation?
And then how has that been foryou?
Speaker 2 (17:31):
It's been so beautiful.
It's been so beautiful, I thinkyou know you talk about how,
you know the people that youwork with and everything.
There's some form of a traumaand often we think trauma is
just every few people you know,whatever.
But I think everybody canrelate to trauma in some form
and for me, I would never chooseit.
(17:54):
You know we talk about if youcould go back.
You know I would never chooseit.
However, because it happened,I'm so grateful.
My life looks completelydifferent.
I mean completely different.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
How so.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
What do you mean by that?
You know it comes down to thelittle things and the big things
.
I, because of my physicalinjuries, I can't even like
sleep in the same way that I didbefore.
You know, I was a side sleeper.
I can't do that anymore.
I've got to be a back sleeperand that sounds like a little
thing, but it's not, you knowlike I'm reminded of, this
constantly right, you know Right.
Yes, and it's just I, I can'tget away from it, I guess as
(18:34):
part of what I'm saying.
And then, in the big ways, myoccupation's different.
Uh, my husband and I were bothout of work for a year, my
husband almost two and a half.
The things that we do with ourtime is different.
I mean everything, everythingis different.
But it's amazing, and this paththat you're asking about it
(18:55):
came pretty quickly.
My husband and I were both inseparate hospital rooms and we
had a moment it was like day two.
We both had a moment separatelythat we were like we got to
help other people.
We got, we got to do, I got todo something like we're going to
do something to help otherpeople that have been through
this.
And at that time my husband hehad both of his legs, uh,
(19:19):
totally wrapped.
He'd had tons of surgeries, hehad a broken arm, so it was all
wrapped up and all he could seewas his name band on his wrist
and at that time his name wasnot his name, it was a trauma
name.
So they give you like a JohnDoe name when you're in
something that extreme, and hisname, his trauma name, was
(19:43):
Sandal Blue, and so he's layingin his hospital bed.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Isn't that amazing.
He's laying in his hospital bed.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Isn't that amazing.
He's laying in his hospital bed, going we got to do something.
We got to do something to helpother people, and he looks down
and he goes.
I don't know what we're goingto do, but we're going to call
it Sandal Blue.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
That's great.
What a great naming story.
That's fantastic.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
And down the road.
You know, it was probably.
Maybe six months later we'redriving hours to go to an
appointment because we live in asmall town We've got to drive
quite a ways to go and get to adoctor's appointment.
And I mentioned, hey, I hadthis thought when we were in the
hospital, like I really wouldlike to help other people.
And he looks at me and he'slike I had the same thought.
(20:25):
And I pull out a notebook andwe just start writing down all
the ideas Like what does thismean?
What kind of help could we give, what kind of help did we need
and have we needed and do weneed?
And you know, you hear aboutcar accidents every day, every
day, catastrophic, fatal caraccidents every day.
But when you're the one in it,you feel like you're the only
(20:46):
person that's been through it.
And I think trauma does that tous.
Trauma makes us feel isolatedand we were like I don't know
what it is, but we don't wantpeople to feel alone anymore,
like if that's the only thing wedo, that's what we want to do.
And from there, just, oh, itjust blossomed into this
beautiful journey of connectingwith other people that have been
(21:06):
through really hard things andit's a beautiful, beautiful
place to be in.
Like you said, it is part ofour healing.
It's a huge part of our healing.
People talk about turningtrauma into purpose, and this is
, this has been ours, and thenit branched.
You know, we, we were doing alot of speaking and advocating
(21:27):
about safe driving, and Isecretly have wanted to be a, an
inspirational speaker since Iwas about 13, but I've never
told anybody.
And as we were speaking moreand more, I was like, oh, I
wonder if my dream could cometrue, like this would be amazing
.
And then people started askingme to speak more and more and
(21:48):
I'm like I think I think this, Ithink I could do this.
I I think I can uh create a wayfor me to connect with people
and for them to not feel alone.
If it's one person each timethat just feels, uh, like what a
great thing to do here on earth.
And so that's kind of been ourjourney and our path since.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
So the other piece that I think is important.
Here you're speaking to people,you're educating people, you're
bringing the story of yourtrauma so that people don't feel
alone.
And there's a saying inrecovery circles that you know
community is the intervention,connection is the intervention.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Yeah, and you know it sounds like that's part of what
you're bringing to this.
You know let's call it achannel of trauma, like there
are people who experience thistrauma or they're connected to
it in some way and they'rereceiving your message.
And you know part of that isnot feeling alone.
What is the other stuff thatpeople, what are they getting
(22:55):
from connection with you andhearing your story?
How is it?
You know, what are the storiesabout, how it's built resilience
for others?
Like, have you got some?
I'm sure you've probably got acouple of cool stories.
Tell us a cool story thatsomebody else experienced as a
result of meeting you.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Resilience is an interesting thing because I
think often we assume that thatit's an aftermath, that
resilience is an aftermath andit can be, because I think a lot
of times you go throughsomething hard and then you show
you're resilient and thenyou're like, oh, look like I can
do hard things, look at that.
But I do think it's importantto remember that we can build
(23:39):
our resiliency before a hardthing as well.
In the medical world, a lot oftimes you know doctors and
healthcare workers.
They'll talk about people'sbaseline like where were they
before?
Are you back to that baseline?
And if we're able to build thatbaseline before something
(23:59):
really challenging comes, itdoes make a really big
difference of how we respondafterwards as well, and I
personally feel like both ofthose are really really
important, the before and theafter.
As far as a cool story withresiliency, I'm like trying to
pick one.
Right, let's pick whichresiliency story do I want to
(24:21):
share?
Okay, let's go with this.
So our son that had a severetraumatic brain injury his
name's Owen, and I want to sharea little bit about Owen.
Before the accident, owen isintroverted.
He's a musician, skateboarder.
He is a deep, deep thinker.
(24:42):
I mean when he was like twoyears old, I could tell he was
processing everything.
He just he is an old soul and adeep thinker and that's just.
That's just Owen Always hasbeen.
He's one of those kids thatremembers everything.
Like we'd go to the park he waslike five and we'd meet
somebody there and go home andI'd be like Owen I don't
(25:04):
remember that mom's name andhe'd be like, oh, was it the mom
in the red shirt or the blueshirt?
Mommy, I think she had a redshirt.
Oh, was her hair brown?
But then at the bottom it was alittle bit lighter.
And, like you know, he goesthrough all the things.
I'm like, yes, he's like, oh,her name was Jane, I Jane.
(25:25):
I'm like, oh, thanks, but right, so Owen's just this kid that
he remembers everything, hethinks deeply, he loves to work.
He wanted to be the kid mowingthe lawn way before it was safe
for him to go.
That's, that's Owen.
And after he was off, beingasleep from his medically
induced coma, they were asking alot of him.
Right, he didn't.
(25:46):
He doesn't remember any of this.
He has a lot of amnesia becauseof his brain injury, but
they're asking him to do thingsthat are uncomfortable, like I
want you to try to move your toe, I want you to try to talk.
You know these things, that hisbrain, those parts of his brain
, had been damaged and he'sliterally building new roads.
(26:07):
Um, this, this path won't work,so I got to build a new way to
do it, and it is reallychallenging to do that.
Every single time they askedhim, he did it.
And about a year after theaccident, we're getting ready to
(26:30):
go to a follow-up appointmentwith his neurologist and every
time we go to the appointments,they're telling him what he
can't do because he still hashave about two years for that
brain to create new paths.
And if, if, if, he got hit inthe head again I mean there's
all sorts of scenarios hewouldn't, it wouldn't, it
(26:52):
wouldn't.
Potentially he wouldn't make it, and so he had tons of
restrictions.
So he's now this 15 year oldkid.
We're walking into anappointment to hear all the
things he can't do.
He was.
He was a competitive soccerplayer, he skateboarded, he
wasn't allowed to do any ofthose things anymore, and we get
ready to walk in and he saidmom, I want to do something
(27:13):
different today.
I'm like okay, I said, I want toknow what I can do.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
I'm like what do you mean?
Speaker 2 (27:21):
He's like we always sit here and talk about all the
things I can't do.
What?
Speaker 1 (27:25):
can I do?
I want to know what.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
I can do I was like that's a fantastic idea.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Let's do it.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
So this neurologist walks in, we start doing the
normal chat and I said I justwant to pause you and let you
know that Owen's intention todayis to make the longest list of
the things that he can do.
She cracks up.
I'm like what is so funny?
And she goes nobody has everasked me that.
Nobody has ever asked me whatcan I do.
(27:56):
And I got out my notebook and Istarted writing down and it was
a ridiculous list.
It was like skit weaving,crocheting I mean, 15 year old
boys don't necessarily lovedoing these things but we filled
like a page and a half ofthings that he could do and we
walked out and he goes.
You know, mom, I know I can'tchange what happened, I know I
(28:19):
can't change where my brain's at, but look at all of the things
that I can do and I'm going tostart doing these things.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
What a great story.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
What a kid.
I mean just what a kid.
It still gives me chillsthinking about it.
And he lives to this day.
You know, like that, what can Ido?
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Well, I think that you know, from the standpoint of
you know mental health recoveryas well, it's know.
The approach is the same.
You know, you get people whoselives get interrupted for
whatever reason and and whatthey?
One of the questions that weask is well, what do you want to
(28:57):
do?
What's your dream?
You know, you know that justbecause you have this thing that
you've got to deal with doesn'tmean that you don't have dreams
, or shouldn't have dreams, orcan't fulfill them.
And you get a very similarresponse when you start engaging
with a person in that line ofquestioning.
(29:17):
As the doctor, it's like, oh,nobody has ever asked me that.
It's like I hadn't reallythought of it that way, because
we tend to look at things as thethings that they've stopped us
from doing or they've kept usfrom doing or they've cut off
from us, as opposed to, you know, creating that new pathway
around this blockage intosomething where we can find life
again.
(29:37):
Right, and it, you know, itsounds like your son kind of had
that wisdom in him already, um,and brought it to the rest of
the world.
I really love hearing thatstory because I think that's the
piece that advises people.
That's the thing that familiesneed to hear.
It's like what can you do?
And when you speak, how doesyour audience receive you?
(30:02):
Do they come up to you?
It's like I'm really, you know,I'm so happy that you told me
this story because we had thisand everything else.
I never thought of it Like whatis the feedback from your
audience about your sharing ofyour story?
Speaker 2 (30:18):
I'll say those moments are my very favorite.
The after when I get to connectone-on-one, it's the best,
because I get to hear wherethey're coming from, like you
say, and what actually resonatedwith them and what it was.
It was like, oh, I needed tohear that thing.
It's different.
(30:38):
It's different for everybody,except that it's universal right
.
I feel like that's kind of howit is in this world, where
people resonate with differentthings, but it's the same thing
and I love that.
You said the channel of traumaright.
Like we're creating thiscommunity, that we're together
(30:59):
through completely differentthings, and the feedback is, you
know, it kind of depends onwhat I'm speaking to, because I
have a few different keynotesand some are geared towards
patient perspective.
I'm talking to healthcareworkers or emergency crews and
for them the feedback is thankyou for reminding me why I do
(31:23):
what we do.
And that's what you're talkingabout with.
You know finding what you can doinstead of what you can't do.
It's finding your why.
Again, it's kind of findingyour purpose and your motivation
that can propel you forward.
You know, I think about, like,when we were in physical therapy
if I didn't have a reason totry to get my range of motion
(31:44):
back, why would I go throughthat pain, you know?
So finding that connection ofwhat's important to me is why we
do what we do, and that tendsto be the feedback of thank you
for reminding me that.
You know, the lives that I'msaving are people like you.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
There's a story that goes on after they've left my
care, you know.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Exactly and all so often whether it's your line of
work, or emergency responders.
You see them for a snapshot,you only see them for a snapshot
and you're doing what you dobecause you care.
And so then you wonder, youknow, like, how are they doing?
And so to get these, reminders.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
They only see you for a snapshot, you know, and then
you're talking about a.
You're talking about aworkforce that's pretty high on
the suicide alley list YepEmergency workers and things
like that.
I think it's because they don'tget to hear this story.
All they see is the terriblething.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Exactly.
You know yes, and and um.
I don't want to go too far fromyour question, but we were able
to go back a year after ouraccident and thank everybody
that had responded to our calland it was the most incredible
experience of my life.
I don't want anybody to gothrough something like I did,
(33:12):
but that experience is thesingle most incredible
experience of my life.
They thought we had died.
When I called the hospital andsaid we're coming up on a year
from an accident that you guysresponded to, I'd love to come
in person and personally.
Thank you guys.
She started crying on the phoneand I was like hello and she
goes.
Oh, I remember you.
We didn't think any of you madeit and to be able to go back.
(33:33):
I mean and there was a lot ofpeople that responded to go back
and thank them.
Um has been life-changing forus, but for them and then you
talk about how trauma affectsother people.
We had a lot of Good Samaritansthat helped a lot at the scene,
that did things that saved ourlives.
(33:55):
We are continuing to try toconnect with them, but the ones
that we have connected, with ithas been very healing for them
to get more than that snapshot,for them to see how we're doing
today, and I mean some of themare family now.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Right, well, I think you're restoring hope for people
.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
And not, you know, not just people who see you.
You know, see a family that'sexperienced this terrible event
but also came through the otherside.
You see a family that'sexperienced this terrible event
but also came through the otherside.
You're talking about theproviders and the emergency
(34:37):
folks and the caretakers and allthose people who are involved.
They, in their mind, livesomewhere.
I can imagine that I've onlyseen this person for this moment
.
They were in terrible shapewhen I saw them.
I'm pretty convinced that theywere never going to make it.
And then the story that livesin my mind is that terrible
things happen to people and thenthey die.
Yep, but then you come back andyou replace this narrative.
(35:00):
It's like terrible thingshappen to people.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
And because I helped they lived.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
Yeah, I mean in that you know that's just got, that's
got so much warmth and so muchworth you know I think it can
carry a person a long way.
The connection is what is wherethe value is.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
You know so yeah, and you can feel the difference
even as you're speaking it, likeI can physically feel the
difference.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
It's like letting light into a room, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (35:31):
Yeah, yeah, and, and, and I agree, um, I think we
hold a lot of power that weforget about that.
Those stories that we tellourselves or the stories that we
allow other people to hear orfeel they really can make a big
difference for, like you said,potentially carrying somebody a
really long way because there ishope to be had.
(35:55):
And I think that's always mymessage is, there is hope to be
had.
I had one doctor when Owen wasstill in his coma.
He pulled me aside in the PICUand said I've never met a parent
who wished they had hoped less,meaning he'd seen tons of kids
die tons, but he'd never met aparent that was like, oh, I wish
(36:18):
I didn't hope that they wouldlive.
There is hope to be had.
And it's worth having that hope.
There is hope to be had andit's worth having that hope, no
matter what the ending of themovie is having that hope is
going to help you move forward.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
It's not, it hopes not.
Just a one note thing, right.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
Right, well, and you know, with the little bit of
time that we have left, I wantto ask you this as well what is
it that Sandal Blue Foundationdoes?
Obviously, education,connection, community are things
that are part of its purpose,but how do people connect?
What is your mission, what areyou trying to get out there and
(36:57):
do?
Tell us a little bit about thefoundation, just a bit.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Yeah, you know our core is solution-focused.
Yeah, you know our core issolution focused.
We really like to help peoplefind solutions and empower them
(37:21):
that's it's huge.
Or connecting them to othercommunities so that they know
that they can get through.
And we really like to helppeople find purpose again.
It's something that you know.
You talk about changes in yournormal.
A lot of times you lose yourpurpose when you go through
(37:42):
something like this, whetherit's a big medical trauma or
something else, your purposeshifts.
And so, helping people findthat purpose again, connecting
to other resources we doone-on-one hospital visits where
we get to go bedside.
I love it more than anything toget to connect with patients and
(38:02):
caregivers and and justwhatever you know have
conversations about.
Let's sit in this hearttogether.
Let's just sit here quietly inthe heart together.
Or let's problem solve.
Or let's talk about yourtransitions and how you're going
to get home and what that'sgoing to look like and provide
resources for that.
Or send my son a text.
(38:24):
You know, let's have, excuse me, let's have the two patients
that are both teenage boys.
Let's have them talk to eachother so that they know that
it's not just a bunch of momsthat care that there's also
other teenagers that have beenthrough hard things like this
and creating that community withthem.
As far as finding us, we have awebsite and if, if anybody is
(38:46):
looking for you know some hopeor connection or purpose, they
can find us there as well.
As if, uh, organizations arelooking for speakers that, like
me, that are wanting to share apersonal message and connect
with people that way when's thethe next time you speak?
Speaker 1 (39:03):
What's your next gig?
Speaker 2 (39:07):
Oh, I'm trying to think of you know this isn't my
next one, but I've got a big, abig trauma conference with uh,
uh, you know hundreds of nurses.
I'm thrilled for that.
I love being able to connectjust with you know, again,
connection.
I keep saying connection, likethat must be my, my word for
2025.
(39:28):
And I can't think of anythingbetter than to have connection.
We're, however, many years pastCOVID as far as quarantine goes
and it just feels good toconnect again and and to form
relationships with people toknow that I got you.
I go through the hard too.
(39:48):
You can go through the hard.
We can allow those flashbacks,we can flow with them.
We can flow with them so theydon't get stuck.
Then they'll continue flowingdown the river and we can move
on with our life.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
We can sit in the hard to the other right.
Exactly I like that statementcan move on with our life.
We can sit in the heart to theother right.
Exactly that's a.
I like that statement.
Well, Shantae, it has been apleasure to have you on the show
.
I look forward to maybecatching one of your speaking
engagements or catch you at aconference somewhere along the
way.
We'll link, of course, SandalBlue in the socials as we post
(40:22):
our videos and put it out on theradio and everything else, but
thank you so much for taking thetime with me today.
This has been Head InsideMental Health with Shante
(41:49):
Jackson, the Sandal BlueFoundation.
Shante, thanks for joining us.
Thank you.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
I feel so lonely and lost inhere.
I need to find my way home.
I feel so lonely and lost inhere.
(42:13):
I need to find my way home.
I feel so lonely and lost inhere.
I need to find my way home.
I feel so lonely and lost inhere.
Bye.
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