December 18, 2023 • 28 mins
Get ready for a holiday special that's all about reclaiming the joy and wonder of the season, while kicking stress and excess to the curb. Feeling overwhelmed by your packed calendar and other holiday tasks? We're here to help you say 'no' to the things that don't light up your life, bringing back the true spirit of the season through simplicity. Let's debunk the myth of the perfect holiday, learn how to delegate, prioritize self-care, and shift our focus from the perfect table setting to fostering gratitude and giving back.
As for those festive treats that are as much a part of the holidays as the twinkling lights, I've got you covered. Discover ways to enjoy these little delights while remaining focused on your health. It's a journey of mindful indulgence. And the best part? Making baking a fun, shared activity, creating memories that taste sweeter than any cookie.
Ready to embark on a simplified, more joyful, restful, and restorative holiday season? Take a listen, and let's spread the cheer together!
Website: www.kellybhaney.com
Email: info@kellybhaney.com
Instagram: @kellybhaney
Facebook: Kelly B Haney Wellness
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Welcome to the Heal and Stay Healed podcast, where
we talk about healing and, moreimportantly, staying healed from
chronic disease and otherailments and issues.
We'll cover all the crazythings about health and life the
good, the bad, the ugly and thehilarious.
My name is Kelly and I'm asurvivor and overcomer of severe
(00:33):
autoimmune disease, and I can'twait to share with you what
I've learned so that you canheal and stay healed too.
Thanks for listening and enjoythe show.
Hello there, and thanks forjoining me for a special holiday
(00:59):
episode of the Heal and StayHealed with Kelly Bihaney
podcast.
The theme of today's episode isall about making this holiday
season full of the powerfullyhealing emotions, wonder and joy
.
I think many would agree thatwhen talking about the wonder
and the joy of the season, wefeel like those things have been
(01:22):
missing, probably for quite awhile now.
How can we get that back?
That's what we'll work ondiscovering today.
It's the most wonderful,happiest time of the year, or at
least it's supposed to be, butit's no secret that for a lot of
people, this is not thehappiest time of the year.
(01:43):
It's actually the moststressful time of the year For
those with active chronicillness or disease.
Maybe it's been a hard year foryou.
Maybe you've been sick a lotand really battling.
Maybe you're in the hard earlydays of your healing journey and
you're just tired.
Maybe you've lost a loved onethis year or went through a
(02:05):
relationship ending, a job lossor some other big challenge.
Those are all perfectly validreasons for finding it hard to
be super cheerful this season.
But something that I've beenthinking about a lot over the
past several years of my healingjourney is that for many of us,
the reasons why our holidaysmay be hard are actually
(02:27):
self-inflicted.
We actually do it to ourselves,and likely without even
noticing, and that's because ourmodern day culture has created
a bit of a monster out of thewhole holiday season.
Excess is the word that comesto mind to describe this time of
year, with more stuff to buyfor more people, more
(02:51):
obligations to fit into ouralready pretty full December
schedules, more chores we haveto do, more money we have to
spend and more and more non-stopOver the top holiday feasts and
festivities that we have to eatand drink our way through.
And as a result of all of this,the holidays have become less
(03:13):
merry and bright and morestressful, chaotic and
exhausting.
And this all leaves us fumblingour way into the new year
feeling tired, depleted, broke,bloated and generally unwell.
Why else would that whole NewYear, new you thing be so
(03:33):
popular every single January?
I believe we can do better.
We can bring back those warm,fuzzy holiday feelings and
experiences that are so good forour hearts and our health, and
we can do this by being a littlemore mindful this year and by
(03:53):
being a little more simple inthe way that we approach and
experience the holidays.
Something I focused onthroughout my healing journey is
bringing more simplicity toevery facet of my life, as
living a simplified life is oneof my core beliefs on how to
heal and stay healed, not justphysically, but mentally,
(04:15):
emotionally and spiritually aswell.
To me, simplicity is defined byreducing the amount of
unnecessary stuff we own or haveto manage, but, just as
importantly, by reducing theamount of unnecessary and
excessive commitments on thecalendar and by finding peace
and contentment in a lifestylethat looks pretty
(04:37):
counter-cultural in many waysbecause of its lack of excess
and its lack of extracomplications, and I've been so
pleased to find that it's evenpossible to simplify something
that has gone off the rails asmuch as the holiday season has,
and we can simplify withoutsacrificing.
(04:58):
In fact, by simplifying wecreate more space for getting
what we really want out of thisseason the fun times with family
and friends, making goodmemories, feeling rested and at
peace and once again finding thewonder and the joy in it all,
which happen to all be thingsthat support us in our healing
(05:20):
and staying healed.
Once we strip away all of thestress-provoking excess, the
wonder and the joy and even themagic of the season really is
still there.
So today we are going to callout the normalized excess that
leads to the chaos, that leadsto the stress, and we'll discuss
some alternative, simplifiedapproaches and mindsets.
(05:43):
Then we'll talk about theholiday treat barrage of the
season All of those cookies,cakes, gingerbread pies and
other sweets and I'll share mytips and tricks for managing
them, especially for those of uswho are well into our healing
journey and who want to stay ontrack.
I believe in treating yourselfbut not beating yourself, so
(06:08):
stay tuned for that.
It is very possible to findyourself sailing into the new
year exhausted, energized,peaceful and feeling good inside
and out.
So, with that goal in mind,let's begin by talking about
three joy suckers of this timeof year and for each joy sucker,
(06:30):
how choosing simplicity canhelp bring back the wonder and
the joy to this season of hope.
Joy Sucker Number One weOverbook Ourselves.
There are a millionholiday-related events work
parties, friends and familyparties, neighborhood events,
(06:51):
your kids' school events, etcetera on top of all the other
regular life events andresponsibilities that don't go
away just because it's the monthof December.
It can all be just too much.
And that's coming from anextrovert, I'm sure.
All of the events and partiesquickly become completely
overwhelming for our introvertedfriends especially.
(07:12):
A lot of these events andcelebrations are fun and
life-giving, for sure, and theyadd to the specialness of the
season, but when we say yes totoo many of them, the
invitations can start to feelmore like obligations and the
fun and the joy is sucked rightout of them and are replaced by
(07:32):
added stress, which can becomeburnout.
A simpler approach is to simplypick and choose.
What are the events that bringthe most joy and life to you and
your family?
These are the ones to say yesto.
And what are the events thatsuck your energy, require you to
spend too much or create morestress than they would relieve?
(07:56):
These are the ones to considersaying no to this year.
When you simplify your Decemberschedule, that leaves room for
actual rest and reflection andtime for truly soaking in the
season.
It also leaves room for morequiet, cozy nights at home, with
the family curled up togetherwith a hot tea and blanket,
(08:16):
while watching a classic holidaymovie, reading a good
Christmas-themed book or doing arelaxing festive craft together
Sounds pretty nice, right?
These are the nights that canprovide that rest and
restoration that our bodies andhearts need an extra dose of
this month, and they set us upfor making some great memories
(08:36):
too.
Joy Sucker.
Number two All the stuff wedrown in, all the commercialism
and all of the unnecessary andoften unwanted stuff that comes
in because of it, and living inthe excess of physical stuff.
This time of year more than anyother can leave us feeling
(08:58):
anxious and kind of disgustedwith the whole thing, and it
certainly can take away thewonder and the joy of the season
, not to mention it can leave usin serious debt.
Feeling like you have to buygifts for everyone, especially
those who you don't really wantto buy something for but feel
obligated to, or those who youfeel like you have to get
(09:20):
something expensive for is a lotof pressure and can add up to
be a lot of money that you mightnot have.
So if you're trying to keep upwith the Joneses by buying
expensive things, just rememberthe Joneses are probably broke,
not to mention the stuff thatcomes to you and your family and
into your home via others,giving you things that you might
(09:44):
not really need or possibly noteven want.
A simplified approach toavoiding the stuff explosion and
financial peril is to talk tofamily and friends about putting
the gift giving in check.
That can look like agreeing togift experiences instead of
physical stuff.
This avoids the clutter andgives an opportunity to create a
(10:06):
lasting memory through theexperience.
Or adults can agree not totrade gifts with each other at
all but still give gifts to thekids by the way, experience
gifts are especially great forkids.
Or it's okay to not give stuffor ask for stuff.
If nobody really wants or needsanything, it's okay to just not
(10:27):
do it and instead focus onbeing together and making new
memories that will last a lotlonger and be far more
meaningful.
Whoever you do get gifts for,can you make it special, either
by getting them something youknow will truly bring them joy
or will be of great use to them.
And if we find ourselvesfrantically searching a store
for something we can grab that'sgood enough just to check a
(10:51):
person off of our list, thenmaybe we should stop and check
our self instead and take timeto really think it through, so
that our gift giving is not invain and comes from the heart,
not from a place of obligation,and remember homemade,
consumable gifts that arethoughtful and useful, such as
stovetop potpourri or handmadesoap, or maybe some delicious
(11:14):
Christmas pears or citrus.
Those gifts can all be reallywell received and appreciated
and they don't add to theclutter influx.
Joy Sucker.
Number three unrealisticexpectations.
I really think this is thebiggest holiday joy sucker of
them all, and I think it's fairto say that moms are the ones
(11:37):
affected by the unrealisticexpectations of the holidays the
most.
Tv, magazines and social mediahave all set an unattainable
standard of what the perfectholiday requires Stunning and
abundant decorations inside andoutside of the home, instagram
worthy tree and family photoshoots, holiday cards going out
(11:58):
to everyone, new Christmasjammies for all, following each
and every tradition every year,even the ones that became more
trouble than they're worth yearsago, because everyone is
counting on you, and thenthere's having to come up with
new scenarios in which to placethat freaking elf on the shelf
every night.
(12:19):
This is all a lot, and let'sface it, even in these modern
times, mom is still likely to bethe one doing most of the
shopping, wrapping, cooking,cleaning, coordinating everyone
else's schedules, etc.
Etc.
All season long.
And for the single moms outthere, you are the true
(12:40):
superheroes and you are somehowdoing it all.
You're amazing.
But, to take a more simplifiedapproach, it's just like when we
discussed stepping back andanalyzing all the event and
party invitations anddetermining which ones to say no
to.
In this case, that would looklike stepping back and analyzing
all of the other things youfeel like you have to do this
(13:03):
season, because in reality, youdon't have to do it all.
Maybe this is the year to moveon from some traditions that
take a lot of time and energybut are actually no longer
serving you or your family.
This will create space for newtraditions to form organically,
and maybe this year you can optout of volunteering for the
(13:24):
school bake sale or skip sendingout holiday cards, or not feel
the need to spend daysdecorating or feel compelled to
clerk griswalled up your housein an effort to prove that you
have the merriest house on theblock.
Maybe we can just, overall,tone things down a bit this year
and to further prevent theburnout, how about considering
(13:47):
what responsibilities can bedelegated out to the rest of the
family or friends?
And what if, this year, you giveyourself the gift of staying
off of social media and justsoak it all in in real life, in
real time, especially for thosewho have little ones in the home
(14:07):
.
As the mom of a now 15 year old, it really does go by so fast,
and Christmases in those earlyyears are extra magical.
So why not set unrealisticexpectations aside and just be
there in the moment?
And for those who had a reallyhard year physically, mentally
(14:31):
and or emotionally it's reallyokay to forego expectations
altogether and to just simplyrest Instead of forcing yourself
to go out and do all the things.
Maybe this year it would bebetter to spend that time in
meditation or prayer, journaling, doing some yoga or doing other
things that bring you life,whether they are holiday related
(14:54):
or not, or just do nothing atall.
If you neglect yourself andignore the fact that you aren't
feeling good going into theholiday season and then you
throw yourself fully into itanyway, it's likely that you'll
come out feeling even worse.
Perhaps all you need is alittle Charlie Brown tree and a
(15:14):
whole lot of downtime.
Give yourself permission tofocus on your own healing as
much as you need to for thisyear.
A quick side note for those whoare in this place right now I'm
a big fan of visualization andI believe in it very much, so I
recommend spending a little timevisualizing yourself a year
from now, being healthy, strong,peaceful and ready for the joy
(15:39):
and the wonder of the seasonwhen it arrives this time next
year.
And for those of us who aredoing well ourselves, but who
have someone in our lives who isstruggling either from illness
or from something else, thereare many simple and kind ways to
show up for them.
This season, when we shed theburden of feeling the need to
spend all of our time and energykeeping up with unrealistic
(16:01):
expectations, we create thespace to do things like be there
for our friends and loved oneswho really need us.
Maybe stop by a strugglingfriend's home for a visit,
bringing over a warm meal ordoing a load of laundry for them
something simple that lets themknow you care, ask them what
they really need, and maybethat's as simple as a listening
(16:24):
ear or a shoulder to cry on.
And if you know people whodon't have family to spend the
holiday with, maybe considerinviting them over and welcoming
them as part of your family fora night.
This could really mean theworld to someone who is
struggling this season.
Another great way to fight offthe unrealistic expectations and
to keep things simplified is toput a lot of the focus on
(16:48):
giving back.
It's a great time of year tofocus on giving back, yet
incredibly, giving back at theholidays has come to feel a bit
commercialized, just likeeverything else, from the bell
ringing Santas staring you downfor pocket change outside of
every grocery store to the toydrives at the office.
(17:08):
That can become more of acompetition for who donates the
most.
If participating in thesethings feels right and
meaningful to you, then by allmeans do it, but if they don't,
then spend some time consideringwhat or who are the causes,
charitable organizations orindividuals doing good work out
(17:29):
there that you really believe inand truly want to support with
your time and or money.
It's so great to make givingback a family event too, maybe
by gathering your familytogether and taking a few bags
of groceries over to the localfood pantry.
Or there are many organizationsthat help support low income
(17:49):
families that allow you toanonymously adopt a family for
the holidays.
This gives you the opportunityto provide them with much needed
gifts like winter coats or newshoes or other gifts that bring
joy and that they wouldn'totherwise receive.
And wow, what a great thing todo together as a family.
Of course, legitimateorganizations that you believe
(18:12):
in can put your monetarydonations to good use as well.
When we give to others, it's agreat reminder to step back and
take a moment to be thankful forall that we have.
Thanksgiving isn't the onlyholiday reserved for gratitude,
and gratitude happens to beanother one of those things that
I believe is essential for truehealing.
(18:33):
So how about we focus more onall of the good and simple
things and less on thejoy-sucking over commitments,
stuff and on the unrealisticexpectations?
The bottom line is, the more wedecide to resist the
joy-suckers of the season byshunning the busyness, chaos and
(18:56):
the excess, the more we cancreate a holiday that is calm,
restorative and meaningful forourselves and for our families.
Let's stop the madness, let'ssimplify and let's shift our
focus to reclaiming the joy andthe wonder of it all.
(19:16):
Whether you are religious ornot, the Christmas story is a
great example for all of us ofbeautiful simplicity A tiny baby
born in a manger on a calmwinter's night.
It really doesn't get moresimple than that.
(19:40):
Now let's shift gears and talkabout how to navigate the
holiday barrage of sweet treatsthat seem to lie in wait around
every corner this time of year,even while on a healing journey.
I definitely believe there canbe room for occasionally
enjoying life's edible delightsand comforts, like a perfect
cookie that brings back memoriesof Christmas past, or a
(20:04):
steaming mug of hot chocolatethat warms you from the inside
out.
And that's because there arelittle things we can do to make
sure that, as I like to say, wetreat ourselves but we don't
beat ourselves.
But a quick note for those withchronic illness if you are
currently battling an activedisease, then I believe it's
(20:24):
really important to keepfighting it through the most
health-promoting diet possible,even throughout the holidays.
This may not be the year forindulging in any treats, but if
you are far enough along in yourhealing journey where you are
not battling active illness ordisease, then I encourage you to
mindfully enjoy some treatsthis season if you want to, and
(20:47):
in doing so, here are six of mytips and tricks for enjoying
some delectable holiday treatswhile staying firm on your path
of healing and staying healed.
Our first tip is use organicingredients.
It's getting easier and easierto find organic ingredients, and
this includes, in the bakingdepartment, organic sugar,
(21:10):
flowers, eggs, spices, etc.
By using organic ingredients,the treats will be just as good,
if not more delicious, and youwon't be giving yourself a dose
of disease-causing anddisease-supporting chemicals and
preservatives when indulging.
Also, natural food coloring canbe found in many stores or
(21:31):
online and is often organic, andit works just as well as
damaging artificial foodcolorings and dyes.
Yes, buying organic costs a bitmore money, but if you are able
to do it, I believe making thisinvestment in your health and
the health of your family isreally important for now and in
the future.
(21:52):
The second tip is reduce thesugar in recipes.
Even when treating ourselves,it's important not to lose sight
of the fact that sugar feedsdisease, but the good news is
it's safe to say that mostrecipes call for way more sugar
than is necessary.
This is particularly true ifyou've already been eating in a
(22:13):
health-promoting way for quite awhile and your palate has
adjusted to desire lesssweetness.
So when baking, I generally usesomewhere from half, maybe up
to two-thirds of the sugarcalled for in a recipe, and
everything always still tastesplenty sweet.
It's worth noting again thatrefined sugar is one of the
things that feeds disease, sowhen we are treating ourselves,
(22:35):
let's not use more of it than weneed to.
On to tip three Don't ignorefood allergies or sensitivities.
Just because we decide to treatourselves does not mean we
should intentionally cause harmto ourselves.
We are fortunate to be livingin a time when we can easily
replace ingredients that we knowour bodies don't react well to.
(22:57):
So, for example, if you knowyou're a sensitive to wheat, you
can use high qualitygluten-free flour.
Or if you're a sensitive toeggs, use a flax egg instead.
A flax egg is one tablespoonground flax seed mixed with
three tablespoons water.
Stir and let it sit for a fewminutes and it becomes an egg
replacement for baking.
(23:17):
Even old family cookie recipescan easily be converted to
fulfill whatever foodrequirements you have, without
sacrificing the taste.
Tip number four Eat extraveggies.
It's very important that wedon't decrease our intake of the
nutritious stuff in order tomake room for an extra treat.
(23:38):
If you're going to eat thetreat, then eat an extra helping
or two of veggies first.
This will give your body aboost of support as it
metabolizes the sugar.
And since even reasonableamount of sweets have a way of
messing with the gut, the extrafiber in the extra veggies will
help to make sure things movealong as they should.
Tip five Get rid of theleftovers.
(24:01):
A day or two of treats canquickly become a week or two of
treats if we leave them lyingaround to stare at us every time
we walk into the kitchen oropen the fridge.
As with all food, that is nothealth promoting.
If it isn't in the house, itcan't really tempt us.
And tip number six Don't overdoit.
This might go without saying,but we all need this reminder
(24:25):
sometimes, especially at theholidays.
If we indulge too much, a treatcan quickly go from a moment of
enjoying one of life's littledelights to feeling like total
crap.
Sugar is one of the mostaddictive substances on the
planet, so if we let our guarddown for too long, it will be
much harder to go back to makingit an occasional thing, even
(24:47):
when we are otherwise motivated.
If you do over-indulge, payattention to how your body feels
post-sugar high.
You probably won't be feelinggreat.
Then, instead of beatingyourself up, simply let that
crappy feeling motivate you toreturn to life-giving,
health-supportive foods thatwill make you feel wonderful.
(25:07):
Now, before we wrap up for theholidays, here's a final bonus
tip for managing holiday treatsthat brings us back to our
simplicity theme as well.
The bonus tip is make it lessabout the treats and more about
making memories.
I'm so grateful to have beenable to figure out how to still
(25:29):
make the recipes for my lategrandmother's snickerdoodle
cookies and my late great aunt'sbuckeye balls.
These were the two Christmastime treats that were always my
favorite as a child.
I'm thrilled to have figuredout a way to make them with
organic ingredients, less sugarand with replacing any of the
ingredients that myself orothers in the family are
(25:50):
sensitive to, and they stilltaste wonderful.
But in making it more about thetreats and more about the
memories, in recent years, mydaughter and I have made these
together, and it gives me theopportunity to tell her about
these two women that she nevergot to know and what they meant
to me and our family.
While baking, we've lit up thetree, turned on vintage
(26:11):
Christmas playlists and talkedand laughed together.
I know that I will carry thesebaking memories with me forever,
and I hope that my daughterwill too.
These special times spent bakingin the kitchen together at
Christmas most certainly bringsus life, and they are definitely
more about the activity thanthe cookies.
Summing it up, when healthyeating is an ingrained part of
(26:36):
our lifestyle, these moments ofindulgence are so much more
satisfying and they feel likewhat they are actually supposed
to be a real treat.
I'm convinced that treats tasteextra delicious when you know
that you have been and willcontinue to support your body
with life-giving, nourishingfoods that will help keep you
(26:57):
here and healthy for manyholidays to come.
That's a wrap on 2023.
Time to go enjoy the holidays.
I wish you happy, simplifiedand healthy holidays, friends.
May it all be filled withwonder and joy, and may you be
filled with hope for continuedhealing in the new year.
(27:19):
If you've received value fromthis podcast, I'd be so grateful
if you would take a moment todownload, subscribe rate review
and share it with others who maybenefit from it too.
I am very much looking forwardto spending 2024 with you as we
heal and stay healed together.
Welcome to the Heal and Stay Healed podcast, where
we talk about healing and, moreimportantly, staying healed from
chronic disease and otherailments and issues.
We'll cover all the crazythings about health and life the
good, the bad, the ugly and thehilarious.
My name is Kelly and I'm asurvivor and overcomer of severe
(00:33):
autoimmune disease, and I can'twait to share with you what
I've learned so that you canheal and stay healed too.
Thanks for listening and enjoythe show.
Hello there, and thanks forjoining me for a special holiday
(00:59):
episode of the Heal and StayHealed with Kelly Bihaney
podcast.
The theme of today's episode isall about making this holiday
season full of the powerfullyhealing emotions, wonder and joy
.
I think many would agree thatwhen talking about the wonder
and the joy of the season, wefeel like those things have been
(01:22):
missing, probably for quite awhile now.
How can we get that back?
That's what we'll work ondiscovering today.
It's the most wonderful,happiest time of the year, or at
least it's supposed to be, butit's no secret that for a lot of
people, this is not thehappiest time of the year.
(01:43):
It's actually the moststressful time of the year For
those with active chronicillness or disease.
Maybe it's been a hard year foryou.
Maybe you've been sick a lotand really battling.
Maybe you're in the hard earlydays of your healing journey and
you're just tired.
Maybe you've lost a loved onethis year or went through a
(02:05):
relationship ending, a job lossor some other big challenge.
Those are all perfectly validreasons for finding it hard to
be super cheerful this season.
But something that I've beenthinking about a lot over the
past several years of my healingjourney is that for many of us,
the reasons why our holidaysmay be hard are actually
(02:27):
self-inflicted.
We actually do it to ourselves,and likely without even
noticing, and that's because ourmodern day culture has created
a bit of a monster out of thewhole holiday season.
Excess is the word that comesto mind to describe this time of
year, with more stuff to buyfor more people, more
(02:51):
obligations to fit into ouralready pretty full December
schedules, more chores we haveto do, more money we have to
spend and more and more non-stopOver the top holiday feasts and
festivities that we have to eatand drink our way through.
And as a result of all of this,the holidays have become less
(03:13):
merry and bright and morestressful, chaotic and
exhausting.
And this all leaves us fumblingour way into the new year
feeling tired, depleted, broke,bloated and generally unwell.
Why else would that whole NewYear, new you thing be so
(03:33):
popular every single January?
I believe we can do better.
We can bring back those warm,fuzzy holiday feelings and
experiences that are so good forour hearts and our health, and
we can do this by being a littlemore mindful this year and by
(03:53):
being a little more simple inthe way that we approach and
experience the holidays.
Something I focused onthroughout my healing journey is
bringing more simplicity toevery facet of my life, as
living a simplified life is oneof my core beliefs on how to
heal and stay healed, not justphysically, but mentally,
(04:15):
emotionally and spiritually aswell.
To me, simplicity is defined byreducing the amount of
unnecessary stuff we own or haveto manage, but, just as
importantly, by reducing theamount of unnecessary and
excessive commitments on thecalendar and by finding peace
and contentment in a lifestylethat looks pretty
(04:37):
counter-cultural in many waysbecause of its lack of excess
and its lack of extracomplications, and I've been so
pleased to find that it's evenpossible to simplify something
that has gone off the rails asmuch as the holiday season has,
and we can simplify withoutsacrificing.
(04:58):
In fact, by simplifying wecreate more space for getting
what we really want out of thisseason the fun times with family
and friends, making goodmemories, feeling rested and at
peace and once again finding thewonder and the joy in it all,
which happen to all be thingsthat support us in our healing
(05:20):
and staying healed.
Once we strip away all of thestress-provoking excess, the
wonder and the joy and even themagic of the season really is
still there.
So today we are going to callout the normalized excess that
leads to the chaos, that leadsto the stress, and we'll discuss
some alternative, simplifiedapproaches and mindsets.
(05:43):
Then we'll talk about theholiday treat barrage of the
season All of those cookies,cakes, gingerbread pies and
other sweets and I'll share mytips and tricks for managing
them, especially for those of uswho are well into our healing
journey and who want to stay ontrack.
I believe in treating yourselfbut not beating yourself, so
(06:08):
stay tuned for that.
It is very possible to findyourself sailing into the new
year exhausted, energized,peaceful and feeling good inside
and out.
So, with that goal in mind,let's begin by talking about
three joy suckers of this timeof year and for each joy sucker,
(06:30):
how choosing simplicity canhelp bring back the wonder and
the joy to this season of hope.
Joy Sucker Number One weOverbook Ourselves.
There are a millionholiday-related events work
parties, friends and familyparties, neighborhood events,
(06:51):
your kids' school events, etcetera on top of all the other
regular life events andresponsibilities that don't go
away just because it's the monthof December.
It can all be just too much.
And that's coming from anextrovert, I'm sure.
All of the events and partiesquickly become completely
overwhelming for our introvertedfriends especially.
(07:12):
A lot of these events andcelebrations are fun and
life-giving, for sure, and theyadd to the specialness of the
season, but when we say yes totoo many of them, the
invitations can start to feelmore like obligations and the
fun and the joy is sucked rightout of them and are replaced by
(07:32):
added stress, which can becomeburnout.
A simpler approach is to simplypick and choose.
What are the events that bringthe most joy and life to you and
your family?
These are the ones to say yesto.
And what are the events thatsuck your energy, require you to
spend too much or create morestress than they would relieve?
(07:56):
These are the ones to considersaying no to this year.
When you simplify your Decemberschedule, that leaves room for
actual rest and reflection andtime for truly soaking in the
season.
It also leaves room for morequiet, cozy nights at home, with
the family curled up togetherwith a hot tea and blanket,
(08:16):
while watching a classic holidaymovie, reading a good
Christmas-themed book or doing arelaxing festive craft together
Sounds pretty nice, right?
These are the nights that canprovide that rest and
restoration that our bodies andhearts need an extra dose of
this month, and they set us upfor making some great memories
(08:36):
too.
Joy Sucker.
Number two All the stuff wedrown in, all the commercialism
and all of the unnecessary andoften unwanted stuff that comes
in because of it, and living inthe excess of physical stuff.
This time of year more than anyother can leave us feeling
(08:58):
anxious and kind of disgustedwith the whole thing, and it
certainly can take away thewonder and the joy of the season
, not to mention it can leave usin serious debt.
Feeling like you have to buygifts for everyone, especially
those who you don't really wantto buy something for but feel
obligated to, or those who youfeel like you have to get
(09:20):
something expensive for is a lotof pressure and can add up to
be a lot of money that you mightnot have.
So if you're trying to keep upwith the Joneses by buying
expensive things, just rememberthe Joneses are probably broke,
not to mention the stuff thatcomes to you and your family and
into your home via others,giving you things that you might
(09:44):
not really need or possibly noteven want.
A simplified approach toavoiding the stuff explosion and
financial peril is to talk tofamily and friends about putting
the gift giving in check.
That can look like agreeing togift experiences instead of
physical stuff.
This avoids the clutter andgives an opportunity to create a
(10:06):
lasting memory through theexperience.
Or adults can agree not totrade gifts with each other at
all but still give gifts to thekids by the way, experience
gifts are especially great forkids.
Or it's okay to not give stuffor ask for stuff.
If nobody really wants or needsanything, it's okay to just not
(10:27):
do it and instead focus onbeing together and making new
memories that will last a lotlonger and be far more
meaningful.
Whoever you do get gifts for,can you make it special, either
by getting them something youknow will truly bring them joy
or will be of great use to them.
And if we find ourselvesfrantically searching a store
for something we can grab that'sgood enough just to check a
(10:51):
person off of our list, thenmaybe we should stop and check
our self instead and take timeto really think it through, so
that our gift giving is not invain and comes from the heart,
not from a place of obligation,and remember homemade,
consumable gifts that arethoughtful and useful, such as
stovetop potpourri or handmadesoap, or maybe some delicious
(11:14):
Christmas pears or citrus.
Those gifts can all be reallywell received and appreciated
and they don't add to theclutter influx.
Joy Sucker.
Number three unrealisticexpectations.
I really think this is thebiggest holiday joy sucker of
them all, and I think it's fairto say that moms are the ones
(11:37):
affected by the unrealisticexpectations of the holidays the
most.
Tv, magazines and social mediahave all set an unattainable
standard of what the perfectholiday requires Stunning and
abundant decorations inside andoutside of the home, instagram
worthy tree and family photoshoots, holiday cards going out
(11:58):
to everyone, new Christmasjammies for all, following each
and every tradition every year,even the ones that became more
trouble than they're worth yearsago, because everyone is
counting on you, and thenthere's having to come up with
new scenarios in which to placethat freaking elf on the shelf
every night.
(12:19):
This is all a lot, and let'sface it, even in these modern
times, mom is still likely to bethe one doing most of the
shopping, wrapping, cooking,cleaning, coordinating everyone
else's schedules, etc.
Etc.
All season long.
And for the single moms outthere, you are the true
(12:40):
superheroes and you are somehowdoing it all.
You're amazing.
But, to take a more simplifiedapproach, it's just like when we
discussed stepping back andanalyzing all the event and
party invitations anddetermining which ones to say no
to.
In this case, that would looklike stepping back and analyzing
all of the other things youfeel like you have to do this
(13:03):
season, because in reality, youdon't have to do it all.
Maybe this is the year to moveon from some traditions that
take a lot of time and energybut are actually no longer
serving you or your family.
This will create space for newtraditions to form organically,
and maybe this year you can optout of volunteering for the
(13:24):
school bake sale or skip sendingout holiday cards, or not feel
the need to spend daysdecorating or feel compelled to
clerk griswalled up your housein an effort to prove that you
have the merriest house on theblock.
Maybe we can just, overall,tone things down a bit this year
and to further prevent theburnout, how about considering
(13:47):
what responsibilities can bedelegated out to the rest of the
family or friends?
And what if, this year, you giveyourself the gift of staying
off of social media and justsoak it all in in real life, in
real time, especially for thosewho have little ones in the home
(14:07):
.
As the mom of a now 15 year old, it really does go by so fast,
and Christmases in those earlyyears are extra magical.
So why not set unrealisticexpectations aside and just be
there in the moment?
And for those who had a reallyhard year physically, mentally
(14:31):
and or emotionally it's reallyokay to forego expectations
altogether and to just simplyrest Instead of forcing yourself
to go out and do all the things.
Maybe this year it would bebetter to spend that time in
meditation or prayer, journaling, doing some yoga or doing other
things that bring you life,whether they are holiday related
(14:54):
or not, or just do nothing atall.
If you neglect yourself andignore the fact that you aren't
feeling good going into theholiday season and then you
throw yourself fully into itanyway, it's likely that you'll
come out feeling even worse.
Perhaps all you need is alittle Charlie Brown tree and a
(15:14):
whole lot of downtime.
Give yourself permission tofocus on your own healing as
much as you need to for thisyear.
A quick side note for those whoare in this place right now I'm
a big fan of visualization andI believe in it very much, so I
recommend spending a little timevisualizing yourself a year
from now, being healthy, strong,peaceful and ready for the joy
(15:39):
and the wonder of the seasonwhen it arrives this time next
year.
And for those of us who aredoing well ourselves, but who
have someone in our lives who isstruggling either from illness
or from something else, thereare many simple and kind ways to
show up for them.
This season, when we shed theburden of feeling the need to
spend all of our time and energykeeping up with unrealistic
(16:01):
expectations, we create thespace to do things like be there
for our friends and loved oneswho really need us.
Maybe stop by a strugglingfriend's home for a visit,
bringing over a warm meal ordoing a load of laundry for them
something simple that lets themknow you care, ask them what
they really need, and maybethat's as simple as a listening
(16:24):
ear or a shoulder to cry on.
And if you know people whodon't have family to spend the
holiday with, maybe considerinviting them over and welcoming
them as part of your family fora night.
This could really mean theworld to someone who is
struggling this season.
Another great way to fight offthe unrealistic expectations and
to keep things simplified is toput a lot of the focus on
(16:48):
giving back.
It's a great time of year tofocus on giving back, yet
incredibly, giving back at theholidays has come to feel a bit
commercialized, just likeeverything else, from the bell
ringing Santas staring you downfor pocket change outside of
every grocery store to the toydrives at the office.
(17:08):
That can become more of acompetition for who donates the
most.
If participating in thesethings feels right and
meaningful to you, then by allmeans do it, but if they don't,
then spend some time consideringwhat or who are the causes,
charitable organizations orindividuals doing good work out
(17:29):
there that you really believe inand truly want to support with
your time and or money.
It's so great to make givingback a family event too, maybe
by gathering your familytogether and taking a few bags
of groceries over to the localfood pantry.
Or there are many organizationsthat help support low income
(17:49):
families that allow you toanonymously adopt a family for
the holidays.
This gives you the opportunityto provide them with much needed
gifts like winter coats or newshoes or other gifts that bring
joy and that they wouldn'totherwise receive.
And wow, what a great thing todo together as a family.
Of course, legitimateorganizations that you believe
(18:12):
in can put your monetarydonations to good use as well.
When we give to others, it's agreat reminder to step back and
take a moment to be thankful forall that we have.
Thanksgiving isn't the onlyholiday reserved for gratitude,
and gratitude happens to beanother one of those things that
I believe is essential for truehealing.
(18:33):
So how about we focus more onall of the good and simple
things and less on thejoy-sucking over commitments,
stuff and on the unrealisticexpectations?
The bottom line is, the more wedecide to resist the
joy-suckers of the season byshunning the busyness, chaos and
(18:56):
the excess, the more we cancreate a holiday that is calm,
restorative and meaningful forourselves and for our families.
Let's stop the madness, let'ssimplify and let's shift our
focus to reclaiming the joy andthe wonder of it all.
(19:16):
Whether you are religious ornot, the Christmas story is a
great example for all of us ofbeautiful simplicity A tiny baby
born in a manger on a calmwinter's night.
It really doesn't get moresimple than that.
(19:40):
Now let's shift gears and talkabout how to navigate the
holiday barrage of sweet treatsthat seem to lie in wait around
every corner this time of year,even while on a healing journey.
I definitely believe there canbe room for occasionally
enjoying life's edible delightsand comforts, like a perfect
cookie that brings back memoriesof Christmas past, or a
(20:04):
steaming mug of hot chocolatethat warms you from the inside
out.
And that's because there arelittle things we can do to make
sure that, as I like to say, wetreat ourselves but we don't
beat ourselves.
But a quick note for those withchronic illness if you are
currently battling an activedisease, then I believe it's
(20:24):
really important to keepfighting it through the most
health-promoting diet possible,even throughout the holidays.
This may not be the year forindulging in any treats, but if
you are far enough along in yourhealing journey where you are
not battling active illness ordisease, then I encourage you to
mindfully enjoy some treatsthis season if you want to, and
(20:47):
in doing so, here are six of mytips and tricks for enjoying
some delectable holiday treatswhile staying firm on your path
of healing and staying healed.
Our first tip is use organicingredients.
It's getting easier and easierto find organic ingredients, and
this includes, in the bakingdepartment, organic sugar,
(21:10):
flowers, eggs, spices, etc.
By using organic ingredients,the treats will be just as good,
if not more delicious, and youwon't be giving yourself a dose
of disease-causing anddisease-supporting chemicals and
preservatives when indulging.
Also, natural food coloring canbe found in many stores or
(21:31):
online and is often organic, andit works just as well as
damaging artificial foodcolorings and dyes.
Yes, buying organic costs a bitmore money, but if you are able
to do it, I believe making thisinvestment in your health and
the health of your family isreally important for now and in
the future.
(21:52):
The second tip is reduce thesugar in recipes.
Even when treating ourselves,it's important not to lose sight
of the fact that sugar feedsdisease, but the good news is
it's safe to say that mostrecipes call for way more sugar
than is necessary.
This is particularly true ifyou've already been eating in a
(22:13):
health-promoting way for quite awhile and your palate has
adjusted to desire lesssweetness.
So when baking, I generally usesomewhere from half, maybe up
to two-thirds of the sugarcalled for in a recipe, and
everything always still tastesplenty sweet.
It's worth noting again thatrefined sugar is one of the
things that feeds disease, sowhen we are treating ourselves,
(22:35):
let's not use more of it than weneed to.
On to tip three Don't ignorefood allergies or sensitivities.
Just because we decide to treatourselves does not mean we
should intentionally cause harmto ourselves.
We are fortunate to be livingin a time when we can easily
replace ingredients that we knowour bodies don't react well to.
(22:57):
So, for example, if you knowyou're a sensitive to wheat, you
can use high qualitygluten-free flour.
Or if you're a sensitive toeggs, use a flax egg instead.
A flax egg is one tablespoonground flax seed mixed with
three tablespoons water.
Stir and let it sit for a fewminutes and it becomes an egg
replacement for baking.
(23:17):
Even old family cookie recipescan easily be converted to
fulfill whatever foodrequirements you have, without
sacrificing the taste.
Tip number four Eat extraveggies.
It's very important that wedon't decrease our intake of the
nutritious stuff in order tomake room for an extra treat.
(23:38):
If you're going to eat thetreat, then eat an extra helping
or two of veggies first.
This will give your body aboost of support as it
metabolizes the sugar.
And since even reasonableamount of sweets have a way of
messing with the gut, the extrafiber in the extra veggies will
help to make sure things movealong as they should.
Tip five Get rid of theleftovers.
(24:01):
A day or two of treats canquickly become a week or two of
treats if we leave them lyingaround to stare at us every time
we walk into the kitchen oropen the fridge.
As with all food, that is nothealth promoting.
If it isn't in the house, itcan't really tempt us.
And tip number six Don't overdoit.
This might go without saying,but we all need this reminder
(24:25):
sometimes, especially at theholidays.
If we indulge too much, a treatcan quickly go from a moment of
enjoying one of life's littledelights to feeling like total
crap.
Sugar is one of the mostaddictive substances on the
planet, so if we let our guarddown for too long, it will be
much harder to go back to makingit an occasional thing, even
(24:47):
when we are otherwise motivated.
If you do over-indulge, payattention to how your body feels
post-sugar high.
You probably won't be feelinggreat.
Then, instead of beatingyourself up, simply let that
crappy feeling motivate you toreturn to life-giving,
health-supportive foods thatwill make you feel wonderful.
(25:07):
Now, before we wrap up for theholidays, here's a final bonus
tip for managing holiday treatsthat brings us back to our
simplicity theme as well.
The bonus tip is make it lessabout the treats and more about
making memories.
I'm so grateful to have beenable to figure out how to still
(25:29):
make the recipes for my lategrandmother's snickerdoodle
cookies and my late great aunt'sbuckeye balls.
These were the two Christmastime treats that were always my
favorite as a child.
I'm thrilled to have figuredout a way to make them with
organic ingredients, less sugarand with replacing any of the
ingredients that myself orothers in the family are
(25:50):
sensitive to, and they stilltaste wonderful.
But in making it more about thetreats and more about the
memories, in recent years, mydaughter and I have made these
together, and it gives me theopportunity to tell her about
these two women that she nevergot to know and what they meant
to me and our family.
While baking, we've lit up thetree, turned on vintage
(26:11):
Christmas playlists and talkedand laughed together.
I know that I will carry thesebaking memories with me forever,
and I hope that my daughterwill too.
These special times spent bakingin the kitchen together at
Christmas most certainly bringsus life, and they are definitely
more about the activity thanthe cookies.
Summing it up, when healthyeating is an ingrained part of
(26:36):
our lifestyle, these moments ofindulgence are so much more
satisfying and they feel likewhat they are actually supposed
to be a real treat.
I'm convinced that treats tasteextra delicious when you know
that you have been and willcontinue to support your body
with life-giving, nourishingfoods that will help keep you
(26:57):
here and healthy for manyholidays to come.
That's a wrap on 2023.
Time to go enjoy the holidays.
I wish you happy, simplifiedand healthy holidays, friends.
May it all be filled withwonder and joy, and may you be
filled with hope for continuedhealing in the new year.
(27:19):
If you've received value fromthis podcast, I'd be so grateful
if you would take a moment todownload, subscribe rate review
and share it with others who maybenefit from it too.
I am very much looking forwardto spending 2024 with you as we
heal and stay healed together.
Popular Podcasts
Cold Case Files: Miami
Joyce Sapp, 76; Bryan Herrera, 16; and Laurance Webb, 32—three Miami residents whose lives were stolen in brutal, unsolved homicides. Cold Case Files: Miami follows award‑winning radio host and City of Miami Police reserve officer Enrique Santos as he partners with the department’s Cold Case Homicide Unit, determined family members, and the advocates who spend their lives fighting for justice for the victims who can no longer fight for themselves.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.