April 18, 2024 • 26 mins
In this episode, we explore the life-changing power of simplicity as an important part of the healing process. In a world that often feels overwhelming and chaotic, embracing a more simplified lifestyle can be a powerful tool, as it reduces stress and anxiety – two of the biggest roadblocks on our path to healing.
Kelly discusses the benefits of being intentional with our physical possessions, time commitments, and energy expenditure, while sharing practical tips and personal insights on how to simplify each of these areas. She emphasizes the importance of aligning our actions with our values and creating space for what truly matters. She also delves into the impact of simplicity on our mental and emotional health, offering strategies for cultivating a more positive and present-focused mindset.
Whether you're just beginning your healing journey or seeking to maintain your health long-term, this episode offers valuable guidance on how to harness the power of simplicity for greater healing and optimal wellness.
Website: www.kellybhaney.com
Email: info@kellybhaney.com
Instagram: @kellybhaney
Facebook: Kelly B Haney Wellness
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Welcome to the Heal and Stay Healed podcast, where
we talk about healing and, moreimportantly, staying healed from
chronic disease and otherailments and issues.
We'll cover all the crazythings about health and life the
good, the bad, the ugly and thehilarious.
My name is Kelly and I'm asurvivor and overcomer of severe
(00:31):
autoimmune disease, and I can'twait to share with you what
I've learned so that you canheal and stay healed too.
Thanks for listening and enjoythe show.
Hello and welcome back toanother episode of the Heal and
(00:56):
Stay Healed with Kelly Behaneypodcast.
I am pumped for this episodebecause today I'm going to be
talking about one of my favoritethings, something that also
happens to be a fantastic toolin the healing and staying
healed toolbox, and that issimplicity.
(01:16):
So simplicity, a simplifiedlife, minimalism these are all
related terms.
Minimalism these are allrelated terms.
When I talk about it, I'mtalking about stuff, as in our
physical possessions, yes, butsimplicity is so much more than
just our stuff.
Simplicity is about how wechoose to spend our time, how we
(01:40):
spend our energy, ourpriorities, our relationships,
our screen time, our thoughtlife all of these things and
more.
Simplicity really can be a wayof life, a shift from adherence
to the norms and expectations ofour modern society and culture,
which is a culture of excess inevery sense of the word.
(02:04):
In seeking a more simple life,we step back and just examine
how we live our lives honestly,evaluating our stress and
anxiety levels, really thinkingabout what we might want to be
different and examining whereand how we might have the power
to make helpful changes forourselves.
(02:25):
And then we take slow andsimple steps moving toward a
life that is less stressful,more purposeful, less habitual
and more intentional and, bydefault, a life that is so much
healthier for our bodies, mindsand spirits.
Simplicity, or a simplifiedlife, is something that I know
(02:48):
for sure has played a massiverole in my healing and staying
healed, and it's also brought methe additional gifts of more
peace, more contentment, morejoy and just more space.
More space in my life andthat's literal, physical space
and emotional and mental spacetoo Space that I have then been
(03:09):
able to put to good use insupporting my healing and
staying healed.
In defining simplicity andminimalism, I find that it's
actually best to define thoseterms by contrasting them with
what they are not, and that isour complex, commercialized,
busy modern life.
The standard modern life todayis pretty chaotic, especially in
(03:32):
America, where the culturedrives us to spend so much of
our time and energy working,grinding, pushing through, busy,
busy, busy.
Not just so we can up ourstatus.
When somebody asks us thatall-important question, what do
you do?
But so that we can buy all thethings, the big house and all
the stuff to put in the bighouse, the nice car, luxury
(03:55):
vacations, etc.
It's a life of excess in everysense of the word.
It's a life that is over, full,over budget and yet under
fulfilling.
So simplicity is the absence,or at least a great reduction,
of all of that.
It's being mindful andintentional about every aspect
(04:16):
of our life.
So today we're going to diginto all of this, focusing
mostly on taking thatintentional look at our physical
possessions, and then we'lldiscuss looking at how we spend
our time.
Then we'll talk about how wespend our energy and how all of
these things can have the powerto either greatly harm us and
steal our health, or they canhave the power to do the
(04:39):
opposite, to help to heal us andto keep us healed.
So let's start off by lookingat simplicity when it comes to
our physical stuff, and that'swhere the term minimalism is
used the most in reference tophysical stuff.
I've been a minimalist when itcomes to physical stuff for
pretty much my whole adult life.
I've never been a big fan ofextraneous stuff.
(05:01):
On a conscious and on asubconscious level, I know that
it's always been very enjoyablefor me to not have an
overabundance of possessions,even before I knew the name for
it or could even put it in words.
I've enjoyed the peace and thecalmness that comes with a clear
, clean, open, bright space.
So that's really something I'veprioritized, especially as I've
(05:23):
become more and more aware ofall of the many health benefits.
Now, to be clear, minimalism isnot about getting rid of all
your possessions and living outof a van or a backpack.
It doesn't mean you have tolive in a tiny house.
It doesn't mean you have toappear fringe or extreme in any
(05:44):
way.
It's really just about beingintentional with what you own.
American homes are generallypacked with stuff, piles of
things, overstuffed drawers andclosets, not being able to find
something when you need it, notcleaning much because it's too
hard to maneuver around all thestuff, and many of us have
basements and garages andpossibly even outside storage
(06:08):
units which we can just fillwith stuff, even if it's stuff
that we don't really need, don'treally use and, for much of it,
probably don't even really want.
And often we don't think twiceabout this practice because it
seemingly is how everyone elselives and we may not even really
consciously be aware of theclutter and the excess or think
(06:32):
that we're bothered by it.
Yet it's fascinating.
I've recently seen studies thathave concluded that being in
spaces that are cluttered andmessy actually have a negative
effect on the brain, whether werealize it or not.
When being in cluttered andmessy spaces, the brain can
actually release cortisol, thestress hormone, as a reaction to
(06:53):
being in a space like that.
So that's a big deal, becauseit tells us that our bodies are
seeing the presence of excessand disorder as a threat, seeing
the presence of excess anddisorder as a threat.
So what that tells us is that,as part of the healing journey
no-transcript let's not forgetthe fact that stuff requires
(07:18):
maintenance, cleaning, repair.
You've probably heard it saidbest the stuff you own can end
up owning.
You Talk about added stress.
One of the key factors inovercoming chronic illness is
reducing the stress in our livesas much as we can and, let's
(07:38):
face it, in many areas of life,we don't really have a whole lot
of control over how much stressis present.
So it's important to find theareas where we can control what
we can control, and by taking anintentional look at our
physical space, our home, theplace where we spend the most
time, the place that is supposedto be our respite, we can make
(08:00):
choices that lead to calm andpeace and greater health and
wellness, instead of the stress,cortisol and, by default,
lesser health and wellness.
Okay, so what if you have ahouse full of stuff right now,
or maybe not even full of stuff,but you feel like it's just too
much?
Maybe there are many things inthere that you no longer need,
(08:23):
no longer want, many things thatare no longer serving you or
your family.
Where to begin?
Let's begin with mindfulness.
Stand still in each room ofyour home and just take it all
in.
Just take a good, hard, honestlook at what is in each room,
(08:44):
what needs to be there versuswhat doesn't.
What do you use versus whatnever gets used?
What do you love versus what ismore of a pain or has maybe
even bad memories associatedwith it?
What is practical versus whatjust gets in the way, really
start looking at all of yourbelongings with fresh eyes.
(09:07):
And then I always suggeststarting small.
Pick one drawer or one smallcloset, take everything out
Thoroughly, clean that drawer orthe closet.
While everything is out of it,then analyze the contents that
you've removed.
Which of those items do youreally need and or really want
(09:28):
in that drawer or closet?
And then consider what can bedonated or given away to someone
who will really use it andappreciate it.
What can be recycled?
What is garbage?
Use it and appreciate it.
What can be recycled?
What is garbage?
What should go somewhere elsein the house?
Ask yourself these questions asyou look at each item
individually, maybe even pickeach item up and hold it in your
(09:48):
hands while you consider this.
Then remove the contents thatyou're ready to let go of and
put back the contents that youare choosing to keep.
And if you find that you arestill keeping an amount of stuff
in that space that prevents youfrom being able to see what's
in there, or maybe it's stillhard to get the drawer or the
closet closed easily, if it'sstill too much, then go through
(10:09):
that evaluation process againand again after that, if you
have to, and try to pare down alittle bit more.
The goal is to get that draweror closet clean, beautiful,
functional and easily accessible.
And once you get it to thatpoint, just bask in that.
How good does it feel to have adrawer where, when you open it,
(10:32):
you can quickly see what's init.
It's clean, it's fresh, you canopen it and close it seamlessly
, it feels good, right, nocortisol present there.
And that is a simple littlemicrocosm of what it's like to
live in a space that issimplified, it's calming, it's
(10:52):
peaceful, it's healthy for themind, body and spirit.
And please note that I'm nottrying to encourage you to get
rid of all of your stuff.
I certainly have stuff.
It's not about how much you canget rid of.
It's about being intentionalwith what you allow in your home
.
So once you've done that firstlittle project, let that feeling
(11:16):
of great accomplishment inspireyou to keep going project.
Let that feeling of greataccomplishment inspire you to
keep going drawer by drawer,closet by closet, room by room.
If you make the decision topursue minimalism as part of
your healing journey, it'salways a good idea to spend time
boosting your motivation byregularly reading blog posts or
watching videos from trustedsources in this area.
(11:36):
Joshua Becker of BecomingMinimalist, which is at
becomingminimalistcom, is agreat resource for this purpose.
He's just fantastic, sodefinitely check him out on his
website and on YouTube.
With minimalism, I love tobreak it down to clean house,
clean mind, clear counters,clear vision.
(11:59):
When our space is simplified, wenot only avoid the
physiological stress cortisolrelease but we give ourselves
the literal physical space andthe mental space to breathe
easier.
Moving on to the next area ofsimplicity, now let's look at
assessing our schedules, how wespend our time.
(12:21):
The stress and burden of excessextends far beyond just
physical possessions.
Many of us are also burdened byan excess of commitments and
obligations, finding ourselvescompletely overextended.
This constant busyness canleave us feeling burned out and,
(12:42):
worse, it leaves us with littleto no time at all for focusing
on the all-important physical,mental, emotional and spiritual
health of ourselves and of ourfamilies.
Our priorities have reallygotten way out of whack in so
many areas.
How did we get here?
Well, again, we have to look atour culture, our modern,
(13:05):
fast-paced society, which hasreally evolved to glorify
busyness.
In fact, it seems like busynesshas become a badge of honor and
is somehow meant to beimpressive.
When asking someone how are you, it's not uncommon to get busy
as an answer, even when ourplates are already overflowing.
(13:26):
We feel pressured to say yes toevery opportunity that comes our
way because we don't want tolet someone down or we don't
want to get taken down a notchin our status.
We've got FOMO too.
Fomo is real in our status.
We've got FOMO too.
Fomo is real.
And parents, oof Parents, areespecially expected to be able
(13:47):
to do it all and say yes to itall.
We're expected to have flawlesssuccess at work and at home, to
be yes people, to always stepup to help, to always be there
to support others, to always beable to be relied upon as the
person who will get it done.
So we're having to relentlesslybust our butts at the office,
even on days when maybe our kidsare sick.
We simply have to just figureit out.
(14:10):
We're expected to serve onboards, be active PTA members
and Girl Scout troop leaders.
We're shuttling our kids backand forth to all of their
various sports and activities,which sometimes take up an
entire weekend, not to mentionweeknights.
And we're expected somehow tomagically be healthy and fit
mentally and physically throughall of this.
(14:31):
But what the reality of livingthis way looks like is that we
are barely hanging on and ourhealth is paying the price.
Because of our busyness, we'resacrificing quality family time
and ignoring our friends andloved ones, who we simply don't
have time for.
We miss out on thoughtfulconversations and meaningful,
(14:55):
true connection.
We're sacrificing the abilityto have the time to cook healthy
, nourishing food for ourfamilies.
Instead, we're depending on thedrive-thru or Uber Eats for
dinner.
We're sacrificing exercise,we're sacrificing sleep and
we're sacrificing all forms ofself-care.
There's just not enough time,and so, in the name of busyness,
(15:19):
we're sacrificing our health,and for what?
Doing it all is simplyimpossible.
So the end result is that wefeel like we're failing at work
and we feel like we're failingat home, and that's a terrible
thing, but I truly believe thatit doesn't have to be this way.
(15:42):
So if you realize that yourplate is unsustainably full and
that it can't go on like this,and you're ready to simplify,
where to begin?
Well, just like how simplifyingyour physical stuff doesn't
mean you have to throw outeverything you own, you also
don't need to throw all of yourcommitments and obligations out
the window.
Again, it starts withmindfulness that leads to
(16:05):
intentionality.
Again, it starts withmindfulness that leads to
intentionality.
Just taking a step back toreally look at the way you spend
your time is step one.
Take out your monthly calendaror look at your Google calendar
and write a list of all thethings that you have on it, all
the commitments, all theobligations, all of the ways
that you're spending your time.
(16:26):
Then put that list away andfocus on serious contemplation.
Contemplate.
What are your values?
What is truly meaningful to you?
What do you want your life tolook like?
What do you want to prioritizein your life?
What do you want to prioritizein your life?
(16:46):
What do you think you will lookback on in 10, 20, 50 years and
say I'm so glad that I gave mytime to that.
Once you have determined yourtrue values and priorities, take
that list of all the items onthe calendar back out and assess
it now with fresh eyes.
Then determine, according towhat you have determined your
(17:10):
values and priorities in thismoment of time to be, what can
stay and what needs to go.
This may lead to something assimple as canceling an evening
networking event so you can havetime to go out to dinner with
your partner or spend specialone-on-one time with your kid,
or it may lead to something waybigger, like quitting your
(17:31):
demanding, soul-sucking job inexchange for a career that is
more in line with your valuesand the way that you want to
live.
Now reality check.
Of course, saying no orquitting something is not always
simple and easy.
It can be really hard and itcertainly can be uncomfortable
Again, because we're hardwirednot to let other people down,
(17:52):
and change in general is hard.
But here's a simple statementthat you can make that is really
hard to argue against.
I can't do this, or I can nolonger do this, because I'm
prioritizing my mental,emotional and physical health,
and that of my family as well.
It's going to be a challengefor anyone to object to that
(18:15):
statement, but even if they do,you can walk away guilt-free,
knowing that you are takingsteps to live according to your
values.
And we don't always need tostraight up walk away from
things either, by the way.
Sometimes we just need to setmore boundaries.
Again, it's all about beingintentional with how we spend
(18:38):
our time, determining what ourvalues are and making choices to
live in alignment with them.
Okay, the third part ofsimplicity that we're going to
look at is how we spend ourenergy.
In addition to beingintentional about our physical
possessions and how we spend ourtime, simplicity also involves
(18:58):
being mindful of how we spendour energy.
There's some overlap here, withphysical possessions and
schedules, for sure, but inreally evaluating how we spend
our energy, we need to include afew other standout areas.
This encompasses things likethe people we give our energy to
, our use of technology and ourthoughts.
(19:19):
So, first off, the people wegive our energy to.
Relationships are a tricky thing, because we need them.
We want them, of course, andgoing back to the determining
our values and prioritiesconversation, most of us will
undoubtedly have our closestrelationships on those lists,
(19:40):
but here again, excess can rearits ugly head.
In our modern day society, wemay feel pressured to maintain
countless connections, bothonline and offline, even if some
of these relationships are nottruly fulfilling or supportive.
You've probably heard it saidbefore that with friendship, we
really only need two or threetrusted close friends.
(20:03):
Certainly, having more thanthat is a blessing, but when we
have too many people in thecircle of trust, intimacy can be
diluted a bit.
And then there's the issue ofmaintaining relationships that
may be unhealthy, meaning theyare toxic, one-sided or
continually draining.
Simplifying our relationshipsmeans focusing our energy on the
(20:24):
people who lift us up.
Means focusing our energy onthe people who lift us up,
inspire us and contributepositively to our lives, and
vice versa.
It's about prioritizing qualityover quantity and being willing
to let go of relationships thatno longer serve us.
A good friend of mine, who isone of the friends in my circle
of trust, once gave me this sageadvice not everyone is meant to
(20:48):
be in your life forever.
Many people are only meant tobe in your life for a season.
That impacted me so profoundlybecause it helped me look at the
concept of my relationshipswith a much broader lens, and it
gave me freedom to let go of afriendship whose time had passed
.
By being more intentional andselective about the
(21:09):
relationships we direct ourenergy to, we create the space
to truly connect with those whoare meant to be a meaningful
part of our lives.
Another area to note in regardsto how we spend our energy is
technology.
Technology can, of course, be awonderful thing.
It can also be a major energydrain.
(21:29):
Constantly checking oursmartphones, scrolling through
social media and responding toendless notifications and emails
can leave us feeling frazzled,anxious and disconnected from
the present moment, all thingsthat are not great for our
health or for the healingprocess.
To simplify our relationshipwith technology, we can set
(21:49):
boundaries around our screentime, such as designating
tech-free zones and or timeperiods in our homes or
establishing specific times ofday to check our devices.
There's lots of little tips andtricks.
There's even apps you can puton your phone, which is kind of
ironic, but apps you can put onyour phone that will limit your
screen time for you.
(22:10):
My family recently started aput our phones away at 6 pm
policy for five out of the sevennights a week, and it has been
incredible, really trulyeye-opening and a wonderful
thing for our family.
By being more intentional aboutour technology use, we can
reclaim so much energy and wecan direct it to what truly
(22:34):
matters.
Lastly, our thoughts andemotions also play a significant
role in how we spend our energy, so we're going to take a look
at trying to simplify negativethought patterns.
Negative thought patterns, suchas dwelling on the past,
worrying about the future orengaging in self criticism, can
(22:56):
be incredibly draining.
Abundant anxiety is one of thefallouts from our culture of
excess, and anyone who's everdealt with it knows just how
exhausting for the mind, bodyand spirit it is.
Simplifying our emotional lifemeans working to cultivate a
more positive andpresent-focused mindset.
(23:16):
This can involve practicinggratitude, letting go of grudges
and reframing challenges asopportunities for growth.
This is something I've beenworking on for so long.
I like to say I'm a recoveringpessimist, but practicing
gratitude has helped mesignificantly in that area to
become much more of an optimist,but there's still much room for
(23:40):
growth there.
Of course, getting help fromtherapists and other
professionals when it comes todealing with negative thought
patterns is a great and oftennecessary idea.
So, again, this is an areawhere mindfulness is key.
Consider starting payingattention to the thoughts that
run through your mind.
(24:01):
That may be something that wedon't take the time to even
think to do.
Maybe even start a journalwriting down the thoughts that
come into your head, thenegative thoughts, the negative
self-talk, the glass half emptythoughts.
Look for patterns and areasthat stand out.
From there you can begin totake a more intentional approach
to giving less energy tothoughts that hurt and more
(24:23):
energy to thoughts that heal.
By simplifying our inner world,we free up energy that can be
channeled into healing,self-care, pursuing our passions
and giving back to others.
So, in wrapping up, ultimately,simplicity is not just about
decluttering our homes orstreamlining our schedules.
It's a way of life.
(24:45):
It's about aligning our actionswith our values and creating
space for what truly matters.
When we embrace simplicityholistically across all areas of
our lives, we can experience aprofound sense of peace, clarity
and purpose.
By being more intentional inall of the areas discussed today
(25:05):
, we can reduce stress, enhanceour resilience, promote our
healing and cultivate a lifethat is truly fulfilling.
Remember, simplicity is amarathon, not a sprint.
It's about making small andconsistent choices that align
with our values and support ourbest selves.
Thank you so much for listeningtoday.
I hope you enjoyed this as muchas I enjoyed talking about one
(25:27):
of my favorite topics.
Thank you so much for listeningtoday.
I hope you enjoyed this as muchas I enjoyed talking about one
of my favorite topics.
If you have received value fromthis episode, I would greatly
appreciate it if you wouldsubscribe to the podcast,
download the episodes, rate andreview and, of course, share it
with anyone who you think wouldfind value in it as well.
I am honored to walk alongsideof you as we seek a simplified
(25:49):
life and as we heal and stayhealed together.
Welcome to the Heal and Stay Healed podcast, where
we talk about healing and, moreimportantly, staying healed from
chronic disease and otherailments and issues.
We'll cover all the crazythings about health and life the
good, the bad, the ugly and thehilarious.
My name is Kelly and I'm asurvivor and overcomer of severe
(00:31):
autoimmune disease, and I can'twait to share with you what
I've learned so that you canheal and stay healed too.
Thanks for listening and enjoythe show.
Hello and welcome back toanother episode of the Heal and
(00:56):
Stay Healed with Kelly Behaneypodcast.
I am pumped for this episodebecause today I'm going to be
talking about one of my favoritethings, something that also
happens to be a fantastic toolin the healing and staying
healed toolbox, and that issimplicity.
(01:16):
So simplicity, a simplifiedlife, minimalism these are all
related terms.
Minimalism these are allrelated terms.
When I talk about it, I'mtalking about stuff, as in our
physical possessions, yes, butsimplicity is so much more than
just our stuff.
Simplicity is about how wechoose to spend our time, how we
(01:40):
spend our energy, ourpriorities, our relationships,
our screen time, our thoughtlife all of these things and
more.
Simplicity really can be a wayof life, a shift from adherence
to the norms and expectations ofour modern society and culture,
which is a culture of excess inevery sense of the word.
(02:04):
In seeking a more simple life,we step back and just examine
how we live our lives honestly,evaluating our stress and
anxiety levels, really thinkingabout what we might want to be
different and examining whereand how we might have the power
to make helpful changes forourselves.
(02:25):
And then we take slow andsimple steps moving toward a
life that is less stressful,more purposeful, less habitual
and more intentional and, bydefault, a life that is so much
healthier for our bodies, mindsand spirits.
Simplicity, or a simplifiedlife, is something that I know
(02:48):
for sure has played a massiverole in my healing and staying
healed, and it's also brought methe additional gifts of more
peace, more contentment, morejoy and just more space.
More space in my life andthat's literal, physical space
and emotional and mental spacetoo Space that I have then been
(03:09):
able to put to good use insupporting my healing and
staying healed.
In defining simplicity andminimalism, I find that it's
actually best to define thoseterms by contrasting them with
what they are not, and that isour complex, commercialized,
busy modern life.
The standard modern life todayis pretty chaotic, especially in
(03:32):
America, where the culturedrives us to spend so much of
our time and energy working,grinding, pushing through, busy,
busy, busy.
Not just so we can up ourstatus.
When somebody asks us thatall-important question, what do
you do?
But so that we can buy all thethings, the big house and all
the stuff to put in the bighouse, the nice car, luxury
(03:55):
vacations, etc.
It's a life of excess in everysense of the word.
It's a life that is over, full,over budget and yet under
fulfilling.
So simplicity is the absence,or at least a great reduction,
of all of that.
It's being mindful andintentional about every aspect
(04:16):
of our life.
So today we're going to diginto all of this, focusing
mostly on taking thatintentional look at our physical
possessions, and then we'lldiscuss looking at how we spend
our time.
Then we'll talk about how wespend our energy and how all of
these things can have the powerto either greatly harm us and
steal our health, or they canhave the power to do the
(04:39):
opposite, to help to heal us andto keep us healed.
So let's start off by lookingat simplicity when it comes to
our physical stuff, and that'swhere the term minimalism is
used the most in reference tophysical stuff.
I've been a minimalist when itcomes to physical stuff for
pretty much my whole adult life.
I've never been a big fan ofextraneous stuff.
(05:01):
On a conscious and on asubconscious level, I know that
it's always been very enjoyablefor me to not have an
overabundance of possessions,even before I knew the name for
it or could even put it in words.
I've enjoyed the peace and thecalmness that comes with a clear
, clean, open, bright space.
So that's really something I'veprioritized, especially as I've
(05:23):
become more and more aware ofall of the many health benefits.
Now, to be clear, minimalism isnot about getting rid of all
your possessions and living outof a van or a backpack.
It doesn't mean you have tolive in a tiny house.
It doesn't mean you have toappear fringe or extreme in any
(05:44):
way.
It's really just about beingintentional with what you own.
American homes are generallypacked with stuff, piles of
things, overstuffed drawers andclosets, not being able to find
something when you need it, notcleaning much because it's too
hard to maneuver around all thestuff, and many of us have
basements and garages andpossibly even outside storage
(06:08):
units which we can just fillwith stuff, even if it's stuff
that we don't really need, don'treally use and, for much of it,
probably don't even really want.
And often we don't think twiceabout this practice because it
seemingly is how everyone elselives and we may not even really
consciously be aware of theclutter and the excess or think
(06:32):
that we're bothered by it.
Yet it's fascinating.
I've recently seen studies thathave concluded that being in
spaces that are cluttered andmessy actually have a negative
effect on the brain, whether werealize it or not.
When being in cluttered andmessy spaces, the brain can
actually release cortisol, thestress hormone, as a reaction to
(06:53):
being in a space like that.
So that's a big deal, becauseit tells us that our bodies are
seeing the presence of excessand disorder as a threat, seeing
the presence of excess anddisorder as a threat.
So what that tells us is that,as part of the healing journey
no-transcript let's not forgetthe fact that stuff requires
(07:18):
maintenance, cleaning, repair.
You've probably heard it saidbest the stuff you own can end
up owning.
You Talk about added stress.
One of the key factors inovercoming chronic illness is
reducing the stress in our livesas much as we can and, let's
(07:38):
face it, in many areas of life,we don't really have a whole lot
of control over how much stressis present.
So it's important to find theareas where we can control what
we can control, and by taking anintentional look at our
physical space, our home, theplace where we spend the most
time, the place that is supposedto be our respite, we can make
(08:00):
choices that lead to calm andpeace and greater health and
wellness, instead of the stress,cortisol and, by default,
lesser health and wellness.
Okay, so what if you have ahouse full of stuff right now,
or maybe not even full of stuff,but you feel like it's just too
much?
Maybe there are many things inthere that you no longer need,
(08:23):
no longer want, many things thatare no longer serving you or
your family.
Where to begin?
Let's begin with mindfulness.
Stand still in each room ofyour home and just take it all
in.
Just take a good, hard, honestlook at what is in each room,
(08:44):
what needs to be there versuswhat doesn't.
What do you use versus whatnever gets used?
What do you love versus what ismore of a pain or has maybe
even bad memories associatedwith it?
What is practical versus whatjust gets in the way, really
start looking at all of yourbelongings with fresh eyes.
(09:07):
And then I always suggeststarting small.
Pick one drawer or one smallcloset, take everything out
Thoroughly, clean that drawer orthe closet.
While everything is out of it,then analyze the contents that
you've removed.
Which of those items do youreally need and or really want
(09:28):
in that drawer or closet?
And then consider what can bedonated or given away to someone
who will really use it andappreciate it.
What can be recycled?
What is garbage?
Use it and appreciate it.
What can be recycled?
What is garbage?
What should go somewhere elsein the house?
Ask yourself these questions asyou look at each item
individually, maybe even pickeach item up and hold it in your
(09:48):
hands while you consider this.
Then remove the contents thatyou're ready to let go of and
put back the contents that youare choosing to keep.
And if you find that you arestill keeping an amount of stuff
in that space that prevents youfrom being able to see what's
in there, or maybe it's stillhard to get the drawer or the
closet closed easily, if it'sstill too much, then go through
(10:09):
that evaluation process againand again after that, if you
have to, and try to pare down alittle bit more.
The goal is to get that draweror closet clean, beautiful,
functional and easily accessible.
And once you get it to thatpoint, just bask in that.
How good does it feel to have adrawer where, when you open it,
(10:32):
you can quickly see what's init.
It's clean, it's fresh, you canopen it and close it seamlessly
, it feels good, right, nocortisol present there.
And that is a simple littlemicrocosm of what it's like to
live in a space that issimplified, it's calming, it's
(10:52):
peaceful, it's healthy for themind, body and spirit.
And please note that I'm nottrying to encourage you to get
rid of all of your stuff.
I certainly have stuff.
It's not about how much you canget rid of.
It's about being intentionalwith what you allow in your home
.
So once you've done that firstlittle project, let that feeling
(11:16):
of great accomplishment inspireyou to keep going project.
Let that feeling of greataccomplishment inspire you to
keep going drawer by drawer,closet by closet, room by room.
If you make the decision topursue minimalism as part of
your healing journey, it'salways a good idea to spend time
boosting your motivation byregularly reading blog posts or
watching videos from trustedsources in this area.
(11:36):
Joshua Becker of BecomingMinimalist, which is at
becomingminimalistcom, is agreat resource for this purpose.
He's just fantastic, sodefinitely check him out on his
website and on YouTube.
With minimalism, I love tobreak it down to clean house,
clean mind, clear counters,clear vision.
(11:59):
When our space is simplified, wenot only avoid the
physiological stress cortisolrelease but we give ourselves
the literal physical space andthe mental space to breathe
easier.
Moving on to the next area ofsimplicity, now let's look at
assessing our schedules, how wespend our time.
(12:21):
The stress and burden of excessextends far beyond just
physical possessions.
Many of us are also burdened byan excess of commitments and
obligations, finding ourselvescompletely overextended.
This constant busyness canleave us feeling burned out and,
(12:42):
worse, it leaves us with littleto no time at all for focusing
on the all-important physical,mental, emotional and spiritual
health of ourselves and of ourfamilies.
Our priorities have reallygotten way out of whack in so
many areas.
How did we get here?
Well, again, we have to look atour culture, our modern,
(13:05):
fast-paced society, which hasreally evolved to glorify
busyness.
In fact, it seems like busynesshas become a badge of honor and
is somehow meant to beimpressive.
When asking someone how are you, it's not uncommon to get busy
as an answer, even when ourplates are already overflowing.
(13:26):
We feel pressured to say yes toevery opportunity that comes our
way because we don't want tolet someone down or we don't
want to get taken down a notchin our status.
We've got FOMO too.
Fomo is real in our status.
We've got FOMO too.
Fomo is real.
And parents, oof Parents, areespecially expected to be able
(13:47):
to do it all and say yes to itall.
We're expected to have flawlesssuccess at work and at home, to
be yes people, to always stepup to help, to always be there
to support others, to always beable to be relied upon as the
person who will get it done.
So we're having to relentlesslybust our butts at the office,
even on days when maybe our kidsare sick.
We simply have to just figureit out.
(14:10):
We're expected to serve onboards, be active PTA members
and Girl Scout troop leaders.
We're shuttling our kids backand forth to all of their
various sports and activities,which sometimes take up an
entire weekend, not to mentionweeknights.
And we're expected somehow tomagically be healthy and fit
mentally and physically throughall of this.
(14:31):
But what the reality of livingthis way looks like is that we
are barely hanging on and ourhealth is paying the price.
Because of our busyness, we'resacrificing quality family time
and ignoring our friends andloved ones, who we simply don't
have time for.
We miss out on thoughtfulconversations and meaningful,
(14:55):
true connection.
We're sacrificing the abilityto have the time to cook healthy
, nourishing food for ourfamilies.
Instead, we're depending on thedrive-thru or Uber Eats for
dinner.
We're sacrificing exercise,we're sacrificing sleep and
we're sacrificing all forms ofself-care.
There's just not enough time,and so, in the name of busyness,
(15:19):
we're sacrificing our health,and for what?
Doing it all is simplyimpossible.
So the end result is that wefeel like we're failing at work
and we feel like we're failingat home, and that's a terrible
thing, but I truly believe thatit doesn't have to be this way.
(15:42):
So if you realize that yourplate is unsustainably full and
that it can't go on like this,and you're ready to simplify,
where to begin?
Well, just like how simplifyingyour physical stuff doesn't
mean you have to throw outeverything you own, you also
don't need to throw all of yourcommitments and obligations out
the window.
Again, it starts withmindfulness that leads to
(16:05):
intentionality.
Again, it starts withmindfulness that leads to
intentionality.
Just taking a step back toreally look at the way you spend
your time is step one.
Take out your monthly calendaror look at your Google calendar
and write a list of all thethings that you have on it, all
the commitments, all theobligations, all of the ways
that you're spending your time.
(16:26):
Then put that list away andfocus on serious contemplation.
Contemplate.
What are your values?
What is truly meaningful to you?
What do you want your life tolook like?
What do you want to prioritizein your life?
What do you want to prioritizein your life?
(16:46):
What do you think you will lookback on in 10, 20, 50 years and
say I'm so glad that I gave mytime to that.
Once you have determined yourtrue values and priorities, take
that list of all the items onthe calendar back out and assess
it now with fresh eyes.
Then determine, according towhat you have determined your
(17:10):
values and priorities in thismoment of time to be, what can
stay and what needs to go.
This may lead to something assimple as canceling an evening
networking event so you can havetime to go out to dinner with
your partner or spend specialone-on-one time with your kid,
or it may lead to something waybigger, like quitting your
(17:31):
demanding, soul-sucking job inexchange for a career that is
more in line with your valuesand the way that you want to
live.
Now reality check.
Of course, saying no orquitting something is not always
simple and easy.
It can be really hard and itcertainly can be uncomfortable
Again, because we're hardwirednot to let other people down,
(17:52):
and change in general is hard.
But here's a simple statementthat you can make that is really
hard to argue against.
I can't do this, or I can nolonger do this, because I'm
prioritizing my mental,emotional and physical health,
and that of my family as well.
It's going to be a challengefor anyone to object to that
(18:15):
statement, but even if they do,you can walk away guilt-free,
knowing that you are takingsteps to live according to your
values.
And we don't always need tostraight up walk away from
things either, by the way.
Sometimes we just need to setmore boundaries.
Again, it's all about beingintentional with how we spend
(18:38):
our time, determining what ourvalues are and making choices to
live in alignment with them.
Okay, the third part ofsimplicity that we're going to
look at is how we spend ourenergy.
In addition to beingintentional about our physical
possessions and how we spend ourtime, simplicity also involves
(18:58):
being mindful of how we spendour energy.
There's some overlap here, withphysical possessions and
schedules, for sure, but inreally evaluating how we spend
our energy, we need to include afew other standout areas.
This encompasses things likethe people we give our energy to
, our use of technology and ourthoughts.
(19:19):
So, first off, the people wegive our energy to.
Relationships are a tricky thing, because we need them.
We want them, of course, andgoing back to the determining
our values and prioritiesconversation, most of us will
undoubtedly have our closestrelationships on those lists,
(19:40):
but here again, excess can rearits ugly head.
In our modern day society, wemay feel pressured to maintain
countless connections, bothonline and offline, even if some
of these relationships are nottruly fulfilling or supportive.
You've probably heard it saidbefore that with friendship, we
really only need two or threetrusted close friends.
(20:03):
Certainly, having more thanthat is a blessing, but when we
have too many people in thecircle of trust, intimacy can be
diluted a bit.
And then there's the issue ofmaintaining relationships that
may be unhealthy, meaning theyare toxic, one-sided or
continually draining.
Simplifying our relationshipsmeans focusing our energy on the
(20:24):
people who lift us up.
Means focusing our energy onthe people who lift us up,
inspire us and contributepositively to our lives, and
vice versa.
It's about prioritizing qualityover quantity and being willing
to let go of relationships thatno longer serve us.
A good friend of mine, who isone of the friends in my circle
of trust, once gave me this sageadvice not everyone is meant to
(20:48):
be in your life forever.
Many people are only meant tobe in your life for a season.
That impacted me so profoundlybecause it helped me look at the
concept of my relationshipswith a much broader lens, and it
gave me freedom to let go of afriendship whose time had passed
.
By being more intentional andselective about the
(21:09):
relationships we direct ourenergy to, we create the space
to truly connect with those whoare meant to be a meaningful
part of our lives.
Another area to note in regardsto how we spend our energy is
technology.
Technology can, of course, be awonderful thing.
It can also be a major energydrain.
(21:29):
Constantly checking oursmartphones, scrolling through
social media and responding toendless notifications and emails
can leave us feeling frazzled,anxious and disconnected from
the present moment, all thingsthat are not great for our
health or for the healingprocess.
To simplify our relationshipwith technology, we can set
(21:49):
boundaries around our screentime, such as designating
tech-free zones and or timeperiods in our homes or
establishing specific times ofday to check our devices.
There's lots of little tips andtricks.
There's even apps you can puton your phone, which is kind of
ironic, but apps you can put onyour phone that will limit your
screen time for you.
(22:10):
My family recently started aput our phones away at 6 pm
policy for five out of the sevennights a week, and it has been
incredible, really trulyeye-opening and a wonderful
thing for our family.
By being more intentional aboutour technology use, we can
reclaim so much energy and wecan direct it to what truly
(22:34):
matters.
Lastly, our thoughts andemotions also play a significant
role in how we spend our energy, so we're going to take a look
at trying to simplify negativethought patterns.
Negative thought patterns, suchas dwelling on the past,
worrying about the future orengaging in self criticism, can
(22:56):
be incredibly draining.
Abundant anxiety is one of thefallouts from our culture of
excess, and anyone who's everdealt with it knows just how
exhausting for the mind, bodyand spirit it is.
Simplifying our emotional lifemeans working to cultivate a
more positive andpresent-focused mindset.
(23:16):
This can involve practicinggratitude, letting go of grudges
and reframing challenges asopportunities for growth.
This is something I've beenworking on for so long.
I like to say I'm a recoveringpessimist, but practicing
gratitude has helped mesignificantly in that area to
become much more of an optimist,but there's still much room for
(23:40):
growth there.
Of course, getting help fromtherapists and other
professionals when it comes todealing with negative thought
patterns is a great and oftennecessary idea.
So, again, this is an areawhere mindfulness is key.
Consider starting payingattention to the thoughts that
run through your mind.
(24:01):
That may be something that wedon't take the time to even
think to do.
Maybe even start a journalwriting down the thoughts that
come into your head, thenegative thoughts, the negative
self-talk, the glass half emptythoughts.
Look for patterns and areasthat stand out.
From there you can begin totake a more intentional approach
to giving less energy tothoughts that hurt and more
(24:23):
energy to thoughts that heal.
By simplifying our inner world,we free up energy that can be
channeled into healing,self-care, pursuing our passions
and giving back to others.
So, in wrapping up, ultimately,simplicity is not just about
decluttering our homes orstreamlining our schedules.
It's a way of life.
(24:45):
It's about aligning our actionswith our values and creating
space for what truly matters.
When we embrace simplicityholistically across all areas of
our lives, we can experience aprofound sense of peace, clarity
and purpose.
By being more intentional inall of the areas discussed today
(25:05):
, we can reduce stress, enhanceour resilience, promote our
healing and cultivate a lifethat is truly fulfilling.
Remember, simplicity is amarathon, not a sprint.
It's about making small andconsistent choices that align
with our values and support ourbest selves.
Thank you so much for listeningtoday.
I hope you enjoyed this as muchas I enjoyed talking about one
(25:27):
of my favorite topics.
Thank you so much for listeningtoday.
I hope you enjoyed this as muchas I enjoyed talking about one
of my favorite topics.
If you have received value fromthis episode, I would greatly
appreciate it if you wouldsubscribe to the podcast,
download the episodes, rate andreview and, of course, share it
with anyone who you think wouldfind value in it as well.
I am honored to walk alongsideof you as we seek a simplified
(25:49):
life and as we heal and stayhealed together.
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