December 12, 2025 • 24 mins
There is a unique kind of ache that comes from longing for a mother’s presence, comfort, or love — even when she did her best. In this episode, I explore the emotional imprint of the mother wound, how it shapes our nervous system, our relationships, our sense of worth, and the surprising ways it shows up in adult life.
Together, we’ll gently unpack what rejection and emotional misattunement can create inside us… and what reconnection really means. Healing doesn’t require reconciling with your mother — it begins with reparenting yourself, meeting your unmet needs, and remembering that you were never “too much” or “not enough.”
This episode also includes a deep, soothing healing meditation to help soften old imprints and bring warmth, safety, and compassion back into your heart.
You deserve to feel wanted, seen, and loved.
Let’s take this step together.
With love,
Dr. Evette Rose
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker (00:06):
Hi and welcome! Welcome here to Heal Within with me,
Dr.
Evette Rose, trauma therapistand also creator of Metaphysical
Anatomy Technique.
And remember that this podcastis your safe space to explore
emotional healing, nervoussystem repair, and also deep
inner transformation.
(00:27):
And if you are ready to godeeper, then you can also book a
one-on-one session with me orconnect with one of my certified
metapsychology coachingpractitioners.
And if you feel called, you canalso join one of our live
healing events, workshops, orretreats at
metaphysicalanatomy.com.
And let's begin your journeyback to wholeness.
(00:50):
One breath and one breakthroughat a time.
And today's podcast episode isa big theme lately.
I've noticed when I work withmy clients, there's a lot of
mother wounds that seem to becoming up.
You see, the reason for thatalso is that the mother wound is
(01:12):
one of the deepest emotionalimprints that we carry.
You see, it forms in the veryearly stages of life, often
before we have conscious memory.
And it comes also from momentsof emotional misattunement,
neglect, it can be rejection, itcan be from unmet needs.
(01:37):
And not because your mother wasnecessarily inherently harmful,
but because maybe she was alsocarrying her own unresolved
trauma, right?
Limitations, her owndissociative challenges, her
blocks, her emotional numbness.
But what this wound teaches usvery early on is that what I'm
(02:03):
seeing when I work with people,including even myself, and I
have a great mom.
Let me just put it like that.
My mom was just highlystressed, and unfortunately, she
had to work when she had me.
So she I was with her for threemonths after I was born, and
then I literally grew up indaycare centers from as early as
three months old.
(02:24):
You see, so for me, I I feltgrowing up that my needs are too
much.
Um, I am unlovable and useless.
I perform or I have to please.
Um, and especially for me, itwas connection is unstable and
(02:44):
unsafe because I was raised bypeople that I did not know, and
of course, people who would notnecessarily have that same
mother's compassion and patienceand care the same way as what a
mother would for her child,right?
So, and for me, also whatstruck really strong was love
(03:08):
equals self-abandonment becauseI felt abandoned when I needed
love the most.
You see, and the challenge nowwith these wounds, I mean, what
I mentioned so far is not all ofit.
And this is a podcast episode,not a course, right?
So we're gonna touch on someelements that I notice as being
(03:29):
quite strong themes.
Now, this wound, it doesn'tjust stay in your childhood, it
shapes how we love, how weattach, and how we self-soothe,
and how we move through theworld as well.
And a lot of signs that I seein my students and and you know,
(03:54):
challenge that I myself workedthrough when I started my
healing journey is um it'salmost like a for me at least,
was a very strong chronicrejection sensitivity, right?
Very strong people-pleasingstrategies.
I was always about how happycan I make this person, you
(04:14):
know, how much can I contributeto their life?
Always feeling like I'm needed,um feeling like I have a
purpose, that I have meaning.
And but but that also came withfeeling invisible, feeling
unheard, because everything wasalways about other people.
And not that it's otherpeople's fault.
I allowed that.
(04:35):
This is how I my trauma set meup, right, to to show up before
I consciously became aware ofit, before I could consciously
step in and create changes,necessary changes as well.
And I had a lot of difficultysetting boundaries, so much
(04:56):
difficulty, and staying inrelationships, or not even
staying, at least creating,having relationships where you
feel um unvalued, right?
And staying in that andsubconsciously feeling drawn to
that because that is what you'reused to, and a lot of
(05:19):
self-criticism as well, or umperfectionism.
Can you relate?
I had that.
That was tough.
That was a tough pattern tobreak because perfectionism it
creeps its ugly head in everyarea of your life, not just
(05:39):
relationships, just not justyour relationship with yourself,
your career, the way that youwash the dishes, the way that
you you you know you put yourclothes on, everything.
That's a tough one.
And then difficulty alsoreceiving love.
And for me, there was also umlike a deep sense of emotional
(06:03):
desire, and it just wouldn'tever feel fulfilled.
It's like it felt like this.
The best way that I candescribe it is that it felt like
this um this bottomless pit.
And then feeling like you'retoo much or not enough.
You see, underneath all theseis the same emotional imprint,
(06:30):
and that is a deep, deep longingfor the mother who could not
necessarily give you what youneeded, and not because she
necessarily didn't want to.
Sometimes, you know, we allhave our traumas, we all have
our blind spots, and sometimes amother's lack of worthiness of
(06:55):
being a mother can sometimescause her to hold back because
who I am is not enough.
What I give is not enough.
So I have a fear of eventrying.
A lot of moms I've seen feltfrozen in themselves as well.
Because when we look at thisfrom a biological perspective,
(07:16):
right, the mother is what?
She's the first regulator ofyour nervous system.
Her tone of voice, her gaze,her availability, her touch all
shape your vagus nerve.
That amygdala and that stressresponse.
You see, when attunement ismissing, the child's brain wires
(07:41):
for hypervigilance, um,distrust, emotional shutdown, or
insecure attachment.
And remember, I really want toshare this, and and I hope that
you flag this in your mind, thatyou're not broken, that this is
(08:02):
not a flaw, this is the bodyadapting for survival.
It's adapting for survival.
But the truth also is that thenervous system can almost say,
you know, just loosely speaking,is plastic.
It can rewire, it can learnsafety again, and it can
(08:25):
experience nurturing later inlife.
You see, the reason why for usor for people who have very
strong mother wounds, rejectioncuts deep.
It it hurts deeply.
Because rejection from a motherfigure, it just hits different.
(08:50):
Um, it's like it isn't justemotional, it's primal.
Because our biology expects themother to be our source of
survival and co-regulation.
That's programmed right here.
So when she's unavailable, whenshe's overwhelmed, when she's
distracted, when she'semotionally shut down, the child
(09:11):
internalizes the pain as I mustbe the reason.
I must change myself to beaccepted.
And or I'm not worthy of love.
And healing means challengingthis inherited narrative and
then rewriting that story withcompassion.
(09:33):
And a lot of people ask me,okay, so I have this wound, I
have this awareness.
Where do I begin?
Do I do I start in mychildhood?
Do I regress back to the wombstages?
Where do I go?
What do I do with this?
That's a really great question.
(09:54):
And for me personally speaking,what I learned and what I also
learned working with a lot of myclients is reconnecting does
not always mean reconciling withyour mother.
Healing doesn't mean that youhave to reconcile with your
mother, uh, your biologicalmother, right?
(10:16):
It means reconnecting, it meanshealing your unmet needs, it
means healing your inner child,it means healing your emotional
boundaries, and it means healingyour right to receive love
without feeling that I have toearn it.
(10:38):
You see, healing is actuallyabout reconnecting back to
yourself, back to yourself.
And it starts really withreparenting the nervous system,
not just you, but your nervoussystem.
And that's learning to offeryourself the safety, the
(11:02):
softness, and also attunementthat you didn't receive.
It means um, oh, this thispoint also is important, it
means releasing these inheritedimprints, understanding that
many wounds did not necessarilybegin even with you.
In many, many cases they'reactually passed down through
(11:26):
many, many generations of womencarrying a lot of emotional
burdens alone.
And when we start to heal, italso means reclaiming your
worth.
Well, my mother rejected me, orI felt rejected by her,
(11:47):
therefore I must be unworthy.
You see, releasing this beliefthat you must shrink to please
or to overgive or to be loved orfeeling that you're too much
out the door.
That needs to go.
Because when I started to gothrough my healing journey and
learning to understand,especially that a lot of ways
(12:10):
that caregivers made me feel, itwasn't my mom.
It was people that I didn'teven know.
But consciously speaking, atthe time, I didn't know that.
So all that I know is thatwhoever was taking care of me
didn't love me, didn't reallycare about my needs, didn't
(12:33):
attend to me when I needed themto.
And this imprint was was wascarried with me.
And this was woven into mydynamic with my mother, even
though she tried her best.
So that was a journey all initself.
(12:54):
So I hope that these pointsthat I shared, as simple as they
are, I hope that some of themreally hits home.
And that that is a very gentle,a very safe, a very graceful
starting point for you to gentlystart to create changes within
(13:15):
yourself from a dynamic thatcould have shaped probably a big
part of who you became as aperson as an adult.
But I always believe thatwherever there's a will, there's
a way.
And so now having said that, Iwould love to start my healing
(13:37):
meditation with you.
And when you are ready, Iinvite you now to take a nice
slow deep breath in and exhalevery good, allowing your body to
(14:00):
settle, allowing your thoughtsjust to wander off, and just
allowing your heart to soften,allowing yourself to arrive
(14:23):
right here, right now.
And a nice graceful way to comeback into the present moment is
by just focusing on yourbreath, and also by feeling the
(14:47):
surface beneath you, supportingyour body, feel how the earth
just holds you without askingyou to do anything, allowing
(15:18):
your breath to just becomeslower, warmer, and deeper, and
with each inhale, feelnourishment entering your body,
(15:48):
with each exhale, releasetension that doesn't belong to
you.
And feeling disbelief, or evensaying quietly to yourself, it
(16:16):
is safe for me to be here, it issafe to feel what I feel, and
imagine now a small gentle lightappearing in front of you, and
(16:42):
this light grows into the shapeof your younger self.
The child who longed forsoftness, presence, or love,
(17:05):
looking at this child now withcompassion, and seeing this
child, they're not dramatic, notdemanding.
They are simply carrying unmetneeds that were never their
(17:30):
fault.
And I invite you now to walkcloser.
You can even kneel down if itfeels right to you.
You can even offer your hand tothis child if it feels right
(17:53):
for you.
And say softly in your heart, Isee you, I hear you, and you
never deserved rejection.
Let the child now respond inwhatever way feels natural,
(18:26):
maybe through words, silence, oremotion.
Notice what they needed most.
(18:57):
Was it love, safety, approval,warmth to be wanted, and you can
(19:24):
gently say to them now that Iam here now, and you matter to
me, you are enough exactly asyou are.
Feel a warm, nurturing energyflowing from you into them a
(20:02):
kind of love that does notoverwhelm but heals.
See their body relax, see theireyes soften, and see their
heart open up.
This is reconnection.
(20:28):
And you can invite this childto come closer, and when they
(20:52):
and you are ready, imagine themstepping into your heart,
merging with you, softeninginside you, feeling so divinely
held and protected by you,becoming a part of your
(21:17):
strength, and no longer yourpain.
Noticing and feeling your chestexpanding, feel warmth growing,
(21:41):
feel the beautiful truthsettling in your heart, and
(22:02):
realizing now I am my own sourceof safety.
I can receive love.
I am whole.
(22:26):
I reclaim the love that wasalways meant for me, and gently
(22:49):
bringing your focus back to yourbreath back to you and notice
as you do how you're starting togently feel the surface beneath
(23:10):
your body and bringing yourfull focus and awareness to the
bottom of your faith.
And then gently giving yourselfa nice big stretch.
(23:39):
Well done, well done, andwelcome back.
And remember that you're notalone, that every day you're
(23:59):
healing one breath at a time,one step at a time, and remember
if you love this episode, thenyou can always share it with
someone else who's also on theirjourney of healing.
And our affirmation for todayis to remember to reclaim the
love that was always meant foryou.
(24:21):
And I look forward to seeingyou in our next um podcast
episode.
I love you, and until nexttime, be the light that you are.
Bye for now.
Hi and welcome! Welcome here to Heal Within with me,
Dr.
Evette Rose, trauma therapistand also creator of Metaphysical
Anatomy Technique.
And remember that this podcastis your safe space to explore
emotional healing, nervoussystem repair, and also deep
inner transformation.
(00:27):
And if you are ready to godeeper, then you can also book a
one-on-one session with me orconnect with one of my certified
metapsychology coachingpractitioners.
And if you feel called, you canalso join one of our live
healing events, workshops, orretreats at
metaphysicalanatomy.com.
And let's begin your journeyback to wholeness.
(00:50):
One breath and one breakthroughat a time.
And today's podcast episode isa big theme lately.
I've noticed when I work withmy clients, there's a lot of
mother wounds that seem to becoming up.
You see, the reason for thatalso is that the mother wound is
(01:12):
one of the deepest emotionalimprints that we carry.
You see, it forms in the veryearly stages of life, often
before we have conscious memory.
And it comes also from momentsof emotional misattunement,
neglect, it can be rejection, itcan be from unmet needs.
(01:37):
And not because your mother wasnecessarily inherently harmful,
but because maybe she was alsocarrying her own unresolved
trauma, right?
Limitations, her owndissociative challenges, her
blocks, her emotional numbness.
But what this wound teaches usvery early on is that what I'm
(02:03):
seeing when I work with people,including even myself, and I
have a great mom.
Let me just put it like that.
My mom was just highlystressed, and unfortunately, she
had to work when she had me.
So she I was with her for threemonths after I was born, and
then I literally grew up indaycare centers from as early as
three months old.
(02:24):
You see, so for me, I I feltgrowing up that my needs are too
much.
Um, I am unlovable and useless.
I perform or I have to please.
Um, and especially for me, itwas connection is unstable and
(02:44):
unsafe because I was raised bypeople that I did not know, and
of course, people who would notnecessarily have that same
mother's compassion and patienceand care the same way as what a
mother would for her child,right?
So, and for me, also whatstruck really strong was love
(03:08):
equals self-abandonment becauseI felt abandoned when I needed
love the most.
You see, and the challenge nowwith these wounds, I mean, what
I mentioned so far is not all ofit.
And this is a podcast episode,not a course, right?
So we're gonna touch on someelements that I notice as being
(03:29):
quite strong themes.
Now, this wound, it doesn'tjust stay in your childhood, it
shapes how we love, how weattach, and how we self-soothe,
and how we move through theworld as well.
And a lot of signs that I seein my students and and you know,
(03:54):
challenge that I myself workedthrough when I started my
healing journey is um it'salmost like a for me at least,
was a very strong chronicrejection sensitivity, right?
Very strong people-pleasingstrategies.
I was always about how happycan I make this person, you
(04:14):
know, how much can I contributeto their life?
Always feeling like I'm needed,um feeling like I have a
purpose, that I have meaning.
And but but that also came withfeeling invisible, feeling
unheard, because everything wasalways about other people.
And not that it's otherpeople's fault.
I allowed that.
(04:35):
This is how I my trauma set meup, right, to to show up before
I consciously became aware ofit, before I could consciously
step in and create changes,necessary changes as well.
And I had a lot of difficultysetting boundaries, so much
(04:56):
difficulty, and staying inrelationships, or not even
staying, at least creating,having relationships where you
feel um unvalued, right?
And staying in that andsubconsciously feeling drawn to
that because that is what you'reused to, and a lot of
(05:19):
self-criticism as well, or umperfectionism.
Can you relate?
I had that.
That was tough.
That was a tough pattern tobreak because perfectionism it
creeps its ugly head in everyarea of your life, not just
(05:39):
relationships, just not justyour relationship with yourself,
your career, the way that youwash the dishes, the way that
you you you know you put yourclothes on, everything.
That's a tough one.
And then difficulty alsoreceiving love.
And for me, there was also umlike a deep sense of emotional
(06:03):
desire, and it just wouldn'tever feel fulfilled.
It's like it felt like this.
The best way that I candescribe it is that it felt like
this um this bottomless pit.
And then feeling like you'retoo much or not enough.
You see, underneath all theseis the same emotional imprint,
(06:30):
and that is a deep, deep longingfor the mother who could not
necessarily give you what youneeded, and not because she
necessarily didn't want to.
Sometimes, you know, we allhave our traumas, we all have
our blind spots, and sometimes amother's lack of worthiness of
(06:55):
being a mother can sometimescause her to hold back because
who I am is not enough.
What I give is not enough.
So I have a fear of eventrying.
A lot of moms I've seen feltfrozen in themselves as well.
Because when we look at thisfrom a biological perspective,
(07:16):
right, the mother is what?
She's the first regulator ofyour nervous system.
Her tone of voice, her gaze,her availability, her touch all
shape your vagus nerve.
That amygdala and that stressresponse.
You see, when attunement ismissing, the child's brain wires
(07:41):
for hypervigilance, um,distrust, emotional shutdown, or
insecure attachment.
And remember, I really want toshare this, and and I hope that
you flag this in your mind, thatyou're not broken, that this is
(08:02):
not a flaw, this is the bodyadapting for survival.
It's adapting for survival.
But the truth also is that thenervous system can almost say,
you know, just loosely speaking,is plastic.
It can rewire, it can learnsafety again, and it can
(08:25):
experience nurturing later inlife.
You see, the reason why for usor for people who have very
strong mother wounds, rejectioncuts deep.
It it hurts deeply.
Because rejection from a motherfigure, it just hits different.
(08:50):
Um, it's like it isn't justemotional, it's primal.
Because our biology expects themother to be our source of
survival and co-regulation.
That's programmed right here.
So when she's unavailable, whenshe's overwhelmed, when she's
distracted, when she'semotionally shut down, the child
(09:11):
internalizes the pain as I mustbe the reason.
I must change myself to beaccepted.
And or I'm not worthy of love.
And healing means challengingthis inherited narrative and
then rewriting that story withcompassion.
(09:33):
And a lot of people ask me,okay, so I have this wound, I
have this awareness.
Where do I begin?
Do I do I start in mychildhood?
Do I regress back to the wombstages?
Where do I go?
What do I do with this?
That's a really great question.
(09:54):
And for me personally speaking,what I learned and what I also
learned working with a lot of myclients is reconnecting does
not always mean reconciling withyour mother.
Healing doesn't mean that youhave to reconcile with your
mother, uh, your biologicalmother, right?
(10:16):
It means reconnecting, it meanshealing your unmet needs, it
means healing your inner child,it means healing your emotional
boundaries, and it means healingyour right to receive love
without feeling that I have toearn it.
(10:38):
You see, healing is actuallyabout reconnecting back to
yourself, back to yourself.
And it starts really withreparenting the nervous system,
not just you, but your nervoussystem.
And that's learning to offeryourself the safety, the
(11:02):
softness, and also attunementthat you didn't receive.
It means um, oh, this thispoint also is important, it
means releasing these inheritedimprints, understanding that
many wounds did not necessarilybegin even with you.
In many, many cases they'reactually passed down through
(11:26):
many, many generations of womencarrying a lot of emotional
burdens alone.
And when we start to heal, italso means reclaiming your
worth.
Well, my mother rejected me, orI felt rejected by her,
(11:47):
therefore I must be unworthy.
You see, releasing this beliefthat you must shrink to please
or to overgive or to be loved orfeeling that you're too much
out the door.
That needs to go.
Because when I started to gothrough my healing journey and
learning to understand,especially that a lot of ways
(12:10):
that caregivers made me feel, itwasn't my mom.
It was people that I didn'teven know.
But consciously speaking, atthe time, I didn't know that.
So all that I know is thatwhoever was taking care of me
didn't love me, didn't reallycare about my needs, didn't
(12:33):
attend to me when I needed themto.
And this imprint was was wascarried with me.
And this was woven into mydynamic with my mother, even
though she tried her best.
So that was a journey all initself.
(12:54):
So I hope that these pointsthat I shared, as simple as they
are, I hope that some of themreally hits home.
And that that is a very gentle,a very safe, a very graceful
starting point for you to gentlystart to create changes within
(13:15):
yourself from a dynamic thatcould have shaped probably a big
part of who you became as aperson as an adult.
But I always believe thatwherever there's a will, there's
a way.
And so now having said that, Iwould love to start my healing
(13:37):
meditation with you.
And when you are ready, Iinvite you now to take a nice
slow deep breath in and exhalevery good, allowing your body to
(14:00):
settle, allowing your thoughtsjust to wander off, and just
allowing your heart to soften,allowing yourself to arrive
(14:23):
right here, right now.
And a nice graceful way to comeback into the present moment is
by just focusing on yourbreath, and also by feeling the
(14:47):
surface beneath you, supportingyour body, feel how the earth
just holds you without askingyou to do anything, allowing
(15:18):
your breath to just becomeslower, warmer, and deeper, and
with each inhale, feelnourishment entering your body,
(15:48):
with each exhale, releasetension that doesn't belong to
you.
And feeling disbelief, or evensaying quietly to yourself, it
(16:16):
is safe for me to be here, it issafe to feel what I feel, and
imagine now a small gentle lightappearing in front of you, and
(16:42):
this light grows into the shapeof your younger self.
The child who longed forsoftness, presence, or love,
(17:05):
looking at this child now withcompassion, and seeing this
child, they're not dramatic, notdemanding.
They are simply carrying unmetneeds that were never their
(17:30):
fault.
And I invite you now to walkcloser.
You can even kneel down if itfeels right to you.
You can even offer your hand tothis child if it feels right
(17:53):
for you.
And say softly in your heart, Isee you, I hear you, and you
never deserved rejection.
Let the child now respond inwhatever way feels natural,
(18:26):
maybe through words, silence, oremotion.
Notice what they needed most.
(18:57):
Was it love, safety, approval,warmth to be wanted, and you can
(19:24):
gently say to them now that Iam here now, and you matter to
me, you are enough exactly asyou are.
Feel a warm, nurturing energyflowing from you into them a
(20:02):
kind of love that does notoverwhelm but heals.
See their body relax, see theireyes soften, and see their
heart open up.
This is reconnection.
(20:28):
And you can invite this childto come closer, and when they
(20:52):
and you are ready, imagine themstepping into your heart,
merging with you, softeninginside you, feeling so divinely
held and protected by you,becoming a part of your
(21:17):
strength, and no longer yourpain.
Noticing and feeling your chestexpanding, feel warmth growing,
(21:41):
feel the beautiful truthsettling in your heart, and
(22:02):
realizing now I am my own sourceof safety.
I can receive love.
I am whole.
(22:26):
I reclaim the love that wasalways meant for me, and gently
(22:49):
bringing your focus back to yourbreath back to you and notice
as you do how you're starting togently feel the surface beneath
(23:10):
your body and bringing yourfull focus and awareness to the
bottom of your faith.
And then gently giving yourselfa nice big stretch.
(23:39):
Well done, well done, andwelcome back.
And remember that you're notalone, that every day you're
(23:59):
healing one breath at a time,one step at a time, and remember
if you love this episode, thenyou can always share it with
someone else who's also on theirjourney of healing.
And our affirmation for todayis to remember to reclaim the
love that was always meant foryou.
(24:21):
And I look forward to seeingyou in our next um podcast
episode.
I love you, and until nexttime, be the light that you are.
Bye for now.
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