August 27, 2025 • 18 mins
Have you ever asked yourself why that old version of you still shows up in the present? Why the choices, beliefs, or pain from years ago still shape who you are today? You’re not alone—and there’s a reason for it.
In this episode, we uncover how the brain encodes early experiences and why childhood overwhelms can echo into adulthood. The amygdala, our brain’s emotional “smoke detector,” stores overwhelming moments and assigns meaning—even if that meaning is distorted. Because the frontal cortex (responsible for perspective and reasoning) wasn’t fully developed in childhood, you couldn’t contextualize what happened. Instead, you internalized it, turning those experiences into unconscious beliefs about yourself. Unless updated, those beliefs continue shaping your identity and decisions today.
But healing is possible—and it begins with compassion. I share an eight-step process for making peace with your past self without repeating old patterns:
- Cultivate empathy for your younger self.
- Embrace your humanity and imperfections.
- Practice genuine forgiveness (for yourself and others).
- Accept what happened without minimizing or denying it.
- Take ownership without shame.
- Make amends where possible.
- Become the person you once needed.
- Live aligned with your authentic values.
The most profound revelation? Each time you meet an old story with compassion instead of criticism, you literally rewire your emotional circuitry. Neuroscience confirms that compassion-based reframing activates new neural pathways, reducing the grip of fear and shame.
This episode closes with a guided meditation designed to help you connect with your younger self, offer comfort, and create a felt experience of integration and healing.
✨ Inside this episode:
- How unresolved childhood memories become “identity scripts”
- The role of the amygdala and frontal cortex in emotional imprinting
- A step-by-step roadmap to release old versions of yourself
- A guided meditation for deep integration and compassion
Your past is part of your story, but it doesn’t have to dictate your future. Join me in this soul-nourishing journey back to wholeness—one breath, one breakthrough at a time.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to Heal Within, here with me, Dr.
Evette Rose, trauma Therapistand creator of Metaphysical
Anatomy Technique.
Now this podcast is your safeplace to explore healing,
nervous system repair and alsodeep transformation.
And if you're ready to godeeper and you would like to be
(00:26):
supported on your journey, youcan also book a one-on-one
session with me or with any ofmy certified metapsychology
coaching practitioners.
You can also join our upcominglive events, workshops or
retreats atmetaphysicalanatomycom.
And now let's begin yourjourney back to wholeness, one
(00:47):
breath and one breakthrough at atime.
And today we're going toexplore something that lives at
the heart of deep healing makingpeace with your past without
repeating it.
If you've ever asked yourself,why does that old version of me
(01:08):
still affect who I am now?
You are definitely not alone.
Now I have sat with so manypeople who still carry shame,
regret or confusion about theyounger versions of themselves,
versions that they've outgrown.
Yet they just, it's like theyjust cannot let go of it.
(01:30):
And if I'm honest, I've beenthere too.
I mean, this is a journey.
There are moments where I alsodip in and out of that.
And, you see, but for a longtime I unknowingly accepted
someone else's distortedperspective of who I was.
You see, their inability togive love became my standard for
(01:55):
what I could expect from theworld, and their emotional
limits became the glass ceilingfor my own self-worth.
But here's the truth that Ireally would like to share with
you today you no longer need toaccept anyone else's story about
(02:16):
who you are.
Your past is not a lifesentence.
It's actually a starting point,and you really.
It's actually a starting pointand you really truly can
absolutely write a new chapter.
Now, why is it that we do staystuck in the past?
What is the neuroscience behindthat?
(02:36):
Let's start by talking aboutthe brain, because when we go
through emotionally overwhelmingexperiences, especially in our
childhood, we know that thesemoments are recorded in a part
of the brain that's called theamygdala, which acts like an
emotional smoke detector, quitefrankly, and it pairs that pain
(03:08):
with meaning, even when thatmeaning is distorted.
So if your early experiencesactually taught you, for example
, when I reach out, I'm rejected, and when I express myself, I
get punished, that patternbecomes stored in your implicit
memory system.
Now, this means that, even ifyou don't consciously remember
what happened or why, it livesin your body, your environment,
(03:32):
your relationships, your habits.
They could all trigger thoseunconscious patterns again and
again and again, and we callthis neural patterning.
You see, the frontal cortex, thepart of the brain that's
responsible for perspective,self-awareness and emotional
regulation, isn't fullydeveloped in childhood.
(03:55):
So back then you couldn'tnecessarily contextualize what
was happening, you just absorbedit, you just accepted it and
you made it mean something aboutyou and those beliefs they
shape now your identity, untilyou decide to update them.
(04:17):
You see, there's a price thatwe pay holding on to this,
because I've worked with a lotof people who, decades later,
still describe their youngerselves with words like ashamed,
stupid, weak, unworthy.
But here's the thing you cannotheal if you are at war with
(04:41):
your past self, because if youhaven't made peace with who you
were, then that part of youcontinues to lead your life from
behind the scenes.
It shows up in yourrelationships, your fears, your
self-doubt and even your health.
So let's talk about how do weheal that, step by step.
So we're going to touch oneight steps to make peace with
(05:06):
your past self.
Step number one it's empathy.
Begin by feeling what thatyounger version of you felt.
They weren't bad, they wereoverwhelmed, they were
unprotected or misled and theywere just trying to survive.
(05:26):
So when you meet them withempathy, you start the repair
process.
Step number two embrace yourhumanity.
I mean, the parts that youcriticize are actually often the
parts that kept you safe.
Acting out, shutting down,saying maybe the wrong thing,
(05:50):
you might feel like that's notsurvival event.
Well, in a way, in a bizarre,indirect way, it probably was.
You see, being human means thatyou didn't get it right every
single time, but that doesn'tmake you unworthy of love.
Step number three is forgiveness.
(06:12):
Now, this is not the type offorgiveness where it says, well,
what happened was okay.
There's such a misconceptionabout forgiveness.
I actually even don yourselffrom the shame loop.
You didn't know then what youknow now.
(06:37):
And your younger self doesn'tdeserve a life sentence.
Step number four it's acceptance.
You see, you did what you didand you were who you were.
Accept acceptance meansstopping the fight with what
already had happened.
You can't rewrite that past inthat moment, but you can change
(06:59):
how it lives in your body.
Step number five ownership.
You see, healing doesn't meanthat you bypass responsibility.
If you hurt others, acknowledgeit, say I did that and I'm
sorry, but that kind ofownership, that is what clears
(07:22):
your heart.
Step number six make amends.
You may not be able to undo thepast, but you can choose to
live in a way that really, trulyhonors your growth.
Acts of kindness, service,integrity, these are all forms
of healing forward.
And step number seven be theperson that you needed.
(07:46):
Ask yourself, who do I want tobe now?
What qualities do I want toembody?
You see, you're not that childanymore.
You are now the one who gets toreparent that child and build a
new way forward.
And now step eight live yourbest life.
(08:10):
You see, your best life doesn'tmean perfection, it means
living.
How can I say it's meaning likeyou're living more aligned with
your truth, with feeling happy,joy, peace and fulfillment.
It's almost like letting thatweight from the past now just
(08:30):
fall away.
Fall away so that you can moveforward lighter, clearer and
more alive.
Because this is a powerful wayand powerful ways to repattern
the brain.
Because I want to circle back alittle bit to neuroscience
because the brain learns throughrepetition.
(08:52):
And each time you meet an oldstory with a new response, with
self-compassion instead of shame, understanding instead of
judgment, you create newsynaptic connections, you
literally rewire your emotionalcircuitry and you begin to prime
(09:13):
your nervous system, for safety, for worthiness, for love.
And that's why healing isn't aone-time decision, it's a
practice, and every practicematters.
You are not who you were.
You are who you choose to benow.
(09:37):
You see, the past is part ofyour story, yes, but it doesn't
have to get to write your futureno-transcript.
Take a deep breath and justplace your hand on your heart.
Place your hand on your heartand say to yourself I see you, I
(10:02):
understand you, I forgive youand I choose to love you now,
because that is where healingbegins.
And so now, when you are ready,let's start our healing
(10:24):
meditation.
And when you are ready, you canlie down or sit up whatever you
feel most comfortable with.
Lie down or sit up whatever youfeel most comfortable with.
I invite you by starting totake a nice deep, slow breath,
(10:59):
and we can start by breathing inthrough the nose and exhale
very softly out the mouth, justnoticing on that next exhale, as
you exhale, feeling yourshoulders drop, your stomach
soften, feel your whole bodyalso softening and notice as
(11:25):
you're doing that, feeling theground, feeling the surface
beneath you stable and steady,holding you with every breath,
(11:48):
feeling yourself sinking deeperinto safety.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
And this is your space to simply be.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I invite you now, bringing your awareness inward,
noticing your body, your chest,your heart, your stomach, and
(12:45):
notice where are you holdingtension, emotions or even
numbness.
There's nothing to fix, there'snothing to force, nothing to
(13:17):
force, just breathing into whatis here.
Let your breath create spacearound whatever it is that you
feel, feeling and allowing theair to move like a wave,
(13:41):
soothing, clearing, grounding.
And I invite you now to gentlycall in a younger version of
yourself this might be you atthe age of 5, 10, 16, whatever
(14:10):
age comes to mind, whatever agecomes to mind and see them now
in front of you, notice theirposture, their expression, their
(14:33):
energy, their expression, theirenergy, and say to them now,
gently, silently or out loud Isee you, I know it was hard, I
(14:57):
know it was hard and you did thebest that you could with what
you had, and you don't have tocarry this alone anymore.
I am here now and I've got youFeeling your breath deepening
(15:25):
now, letting love pour throughyou from your heart to theirs.
Let that younger part of yourest now, let them feel safe and
(15:53):
let them come home back to youand also just affirming to
yourself I'm safe to heal, I'mworthy of love and peace, it is
(16:21):
safe to let go what no longerserves me.
I trust my body, I trust mypath.
I come home to myself now Withcompassion and courage, just
(17:00):
allowing those words now to echogently through your body like a
soft vibration of truth,finding yourself taking a few
more deep breaths, feeling thesurface beneath your body.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
And when you want to, you can also give yourself a
nice big stretch and welcomeback.
Welcome back, well done.
(17:58):
Just allow the healing tocontinue to integrate throughout
the day and night and rememberif you feel that this was
helpful for you, or if there'ssomething that was valuable in
this for you as well, you wantto share it with someone who
could also be perhaps on thehealing journey?
Then please do.
And the affirmation for todayis also it is safe to let go of
(18:20):
what no longer serves me.
I want to thank you from thebottom of my heart for being
here with me to the very, veryend.
I love you all and until ournext episode, be the light that
you are.
Bye everyone.
Welcome to Heal Within, here with me, Dr.
Evette Rose, trauma Therapistand creator of Metaphysical
Anatomy Technique.
Now this podcast is your safeplace to explore healing,
nervous system repair and alsodeep transformation.
And if you're ready to godeeper and you would like to be
(00:26):
supported on your journey, youcan also book a one-on-one
session with me or with any ofmy certified metapsychology
coaching practitioners.
You can also join our upcominglive events, workshops or
retreats atmetaphysicalanatomycom.
And now let's begin yourjourney back to wholeness, one
(00:47):
breath and one breakthrough at atime.
And today we're going toexplore something that lives at
the heart of deep healing makingpeace with your past without
repeating it.
If you've ever asked yourself,why does that old version of me
(01:08):
still affect who I am now?
You are definitely not alone.
Now I have sat with so manypeople who still carry shame,
regret or confusion about theyounger versions of themselves,
versions that they've outgrown.
Yet they just, it's like theyjust cannot let go of it.
(01:30):
And if I'm honest, I've beenthere too.
I mean, this is a journey.
There are moments where I alsodip in and out of that.
And, you see, but for a longtime I unknowingly accepted
someone else's distortedperspective of who I was.
You see, their inability togive love became my standard for
(01:55):
what I could expect from theworld, and their emotional
limits became the glass ceilingfor my own self-worth.
But here's the truth that Ireally would like to share with
you today you no longer need toaccept anyone else's story about
(02:16):
who you are.
Your past is not a lifesentence.
It's actually a starting point,and you really.
It's actually a starting pointand you really truly can
absolutely write a new chapter.
Now, why is it that we do staystuck in the past?
What is the neuroscience behindthat?
(02:36):
Let's start by talking aboutthe brain, because when we go
through emotionally overwhelmingexperiences, especially in our
childhood, we know that thesemoments are recorded in a part
of the brain that's called theamygdala, which acts like an
emotional smoke detector, quitefrankly, and it pairs that pain
(03:08):
with meaning, even when thatmeaning is distorted.
So if your early experiencesactually taught you, for example
, when I reach out, I'm rejected, and when I express myself, I
get punished, that patternbecomes stored in your implicit
memory system.
Now, this means that, even ifyou don't consciously remember
what happened or why, it livesin your body, your environment,
(03:32):
your relationships, your habits.
They could all trigger thoseunconscious patterns again and
again and again, and we callthis neural patterning.
You see, the frontal cortex, thepart of the brain that's
responsible for perspective,self-awareness and emotional
regulation, isn't fullydeveloped in childhood.
(03:55):
So back then you couldn'tnecessarily contextualize what
was happening, you just absorbedit, you just accepted it and
you made it mean something aboutyou and those beliefs they
shape now your identity, untilyou decide to update them.
(04:17):
You see, there's a price thatwe pay holding on to this,
because I've worked with a lotof people who, decades later,
still describe their youngerselves with words like ashamed,
stupid, weak, unworthy.
But here's the thing you cannotheal if you are at war with
(04:41):
your past self, because if youhaven't made peace with who you
were, then that part of youcontinues to lead your life from
behind the scenes.
It shows up in yourrelationships, your fears, your
self-doubt and even your health.
So let's talk about how do weheal that, step by step.
So we're going to touch oneight steps to make peace with
(05:06):
your past self.
Step number one it's empathy.
Begin by feeling what thatyounger version of you felt.
They weren't bad, they wereoverwhelmed, they were
unprotected or misled and theywere just trying to survive.
(05:26):
So when you meet them withempathy, you start the repair
process.
Step number two embrace yourhumanity.
I mean, the parts that youcriticize are actually often the
parts that kept you safe.
Acting out, shutting down,saying maybe the wrong thing,
(05:50):
you might feel like that's notsurvival event.
Well, in a way, in a bizarre,indirect way, it probably was.
You see, being human means thatyou didn't get it right every
single time, but that doesn'tmake you unworthy of love.
Step number three is forgiveness.
(06:12):
Now, this is not the type offorgiveness where it says, well,
what happened was okay.
There's such a misconceptionabout forgiveness.
I actually even don yourselffrom the shame loop.
You didn't know then what youknow now.
(06:37):
And your younger self doesn'tdeserve a life sentence.
Step number four it's acceptance.
You see, you did what you didand you were who you were.
Accept acceptance meansstopping the fight with what
already had happened.
You can't rewrite that past inthat moment, but you can change
(06:59):
how it lives in your body.
Step number five ownership.
You see, healing doesn't meanthat you bypass responsibility.
If you hurt others, acknowledgeit, say I did that and I'm
sorry, but that kind ofownership, that is what clears
(07:22):
your heart.
Step number six make amends.
You may not be able to undo thepast, but you can choose to
live in a way that really, trulyhonors your growth.
Acts of kindness, service,integrity, these are all forms
of healing forward.
And step number seven be theperson that you needed.
(07:46):
Ask yourself, who do I want tobe now?
What qualities do I want toembody?
You see, you're not that childanymore.
You are now the one who gets toreparent that child and build a
new way forward.
And now step eight live yourbest life.
(08:10):
You see, your best life doesn'tmean perfection, it means
living.
How can I say it's meaning likeyou're living more aligned with
your truth, with feeling happy,joy, peace and fulfillment.
It's almost like letting thatweight from the past now just
(08:30):
fall away.
Fall away so that you can moveforward lighter, clearer and
more alive.
Because this is a powerful wayand powerful ways to repattern
the brain.
Because I want to circle back alittle bit to neuroscience
because the brain learns throughrepetition.
(08:52):
And each time you meet an oldstory with a new response, with
self-compassion instead of shame, understanding instead of
judgment, you create newsynaptic connections, you
literally rewire your emotionalcircuitry and you begin to prime
(09:13):
your nervous system, for safety, for worthiness, for love.
And that's why healing isn't aone-time decision, it's a
practice, and every practicematters.
You are not who you were.
You are who you choose to benow.
(09:37):
You see, the past is part ofyour story, yes, but it doesn't
have to get to write your futureno-transcript.
Take a deep breath and justplace your hand on your heart.
Place your hand on your heartand say to yourself I see you, I
(10:02):
understand you, I forgive youand I choose to love you now,
because that is where healingbegins.
And so now, when you are ready,let's start our healing
(10:24):
meditation.
And when you are ready, you canlie down or sit up whatever you
feel most comfortable with.
Lie down or sit up whatever youfeel most comfortable with.
I invite you by starting totake a nice deep, slow breath,
(10:59):
and we can start by breathing inthrough the nose and exhale
very softly out the mouth, justnoticing on that next exhale, as
you exhale, feeling yourshoulders drop, your stomach
soften, feel your whole bodyalso softening and notice as
(11:25):
you're doing that, feeling theground, feeling the surface
beneath you stable and steady,holding you with every breath,
(11:48):
feeling yourself sinking deeperinto safety.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
And this is your space to simply be.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I invite you now, bringing your awareness inward,
noticing your body, your chest,your heart, your stomach, and
(12:45):
notice where are you holdingtension, emotions or even
numbness.
There's nothing to fix, there'snothing to force, nothing to
(13:17):
force, just breathing into whatis here.
Let your breath create spacearound whatever it is that you
feel, feeling and allowing theair to move like a wave,
(13:41):
soothing, clearing, grounding.
And I invite you now to gentlycall in a younger version of
yourself this might be you atthe age of 5, 10, 16, whatever
(14:10):
age comes to mind, whatever agecomes to mind and see them now
in front of you, notice theirposture, their expression, their
(14:33):
energy, their expression, theirenergy, and say to them now,
gently, silently or out loud Isee you, I know it was hard, I
(14:57):
know it was hard and you did thebest that you could with what
you had, and you don't have tocarry this alone anymore.
I am here now and I've got youFeeling your breath deepening
(15:25):
now, letting love pour throughyou from your heart to theirs.
Let that younger part of yourest now, let them feel safe and
(15:53):
let them come home back to youand also just affirming to
yourself I'm safe to heal, I'mworthy of love and peace, it is
(16:21):
safe to let go what no longerserves me.
I trust my body, I trust mypath.
I come home to myself now Withcompassion and courage, just
(17:00):
allowing those words now to echogently through your body like a
soft vibration of truth,finding yourself taking a few
more deep breaths, feeling thesurface beneath your body.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
And when you want to, you can also give yourself a
nice big stretch and welcomeback.
Welcome back, well done.
(17:58):
Just allow the healing tocontinue to integrate throughout
the day and night and rememberif you feel that this was
helpful for you, or if there'ssomething that was valuable in
this for you as well, you wantto share it with someone who
could also be perhaps on thehealing journey?
Then please do.
And the affirmation for todayis also it is safe to let go of
(18:20):
what no longer serves me.
I want to thank you from thebottom of my heart for being
here with me to the very, veryend.
I love you all and until ournext episode, be the light that
you are.
Bye everyone.
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