How to Stop Self-Sabotage and Start Receiving + Meditation

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Have you ever noticed yourself pulling away just when things start going well — in your relationships, your career, or even your healing? You’re not alone, and there’s a reason this happens.

In this episode, I explore the deeper emotional and nervous-system patterns that make receiving feel unsafe, even when we consciously want more love, abundance, and ease. We’ll look at why self-sabotage is not a flaw but a protective strategy — and how to gently shift these responses so your body can hold more goodness without fear. You’ll also be guided through a soothing healing meditation to help your system relax, open, and feel safe to receive again.

✨ You deserve the life you’re calling in — let's help your body believe that too.

With love,
 Dr. Evette Rose

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Episode Transcript

Speaker (00:06):
Welcome to Heal Within.
Here with me, Dr.
Evette Rose, traumatherapistand also creator of Metaphysical
Anatomy Technique.
And remember that this podcastis your safe space to explore
emotional healing, nervoussystem repair, and also deep
inner transformation.
And if you are ready to godeeper and you would like to be

(00:29):
supported in your journey, youcan also book a one-on-one
session with me or with any ofmy certified metapsychology
coaching practitioners.
Or you can even join one of ourupcoming live healing events,
workshops, or retreats atmetaphysicalanatomy.com.
And now let's begin yourjourney back to wholeness.

(00:55):
One breath and one breakthroughat a time.
And today in our episode, we'regonna dive deep into how to
stop self-sabotage and actuallystart receiving.
And if this is a challenge foryou, then sit tight and let's
start.
You see, first of all,something that I would love to

(01:16):
share with you just even beforewe start, something that I
learned is that self-sabotage isnot a weakness.
It's not a flaw, it's aprotection.
It's protection.
And once we understand thehidden reason behind it, that is
when we can actually start tochoose differently.

(01:39):
You see, when we self-sabotage,this is when we we have
behaviors, thoughts, or patternsthat actually prevent us from
achieving what we consciouslydesire.
An example can be umprocrastination and

(01:59):
perfectionism.
That was definitely one ofmine.
It can be sometimes pickingfights and relationships just
when things are going well.
In the past month, with myclients.
This seems to be really a bigI'm seeing an opening coming up

(02:26):
for a lot of people to step intotheir worth.
And a lot of people can'treceive that.
And you know, self-sabotage canalso look like maybe rejecting
support and help from people, itcan be undercharging sometimes

(02:46):
for services or giving up justas you are about to achieve
success.
You see, the truth here is thatthe mind wants to grow, it
does, but the nervous system isa little bit of a culprit, it
craves familiarity.

(03:07):
So we can actually sabotage notbecause we are broken, there's
nothing wrong with you.
It's really truly just becausethe body associates change with
danger.
But we need change, or at leastbe able to embrace it to get to

(03:31):
from where we are to where wewant to be.
So while we progress throughthis podcast today, just and you
don't have to answer it now orfigure out the answer, but let
it marinate in the back of yourmind.
I invite you to think of maybeyeah, let's do that.
Think of one area where you'vewanted to change, but you kept

(03:56):
blocking yourself, notdeliberately, but you feel like
you're always up against blocks.
What behaviors show up?
You see, for me personallyspeaking, I will share some of
mine.
Um, a lot of points that I hadto work through is worthiness

(04:17):
wounds.
It's like I don't deserve this,I'm not worthy of it, um,
someone else deserves it morethan me.
And then there's a really bigfamous or infamous one that I
know a lot of my clients alsosometimes feel deeply challenged
with is fear of loss.
If I get it, I could lose it.

(04:39):
The universe just gives mesomething to take it away.
Can you relate?
Right?
So and then there's umespecially for me was identity
conflict.
Ooh lala.
This was big.
I've always been the struggler.

(04:59):
I'm not the successful one.
Success is for others, it's notfor me.
Can you relate to that?
Or at least you've had yourseason or or a day or so where
we where we feel that.
And there's another part tothis that deeply frustrated me.
And it was that that nervoussystem, my nervous system just

(05:23):
didn't want to cooperate, right?
That that dysregulation.
Because for me, calmness,abundance, um, love to feel
safe, all of this actually feltunsafe.
My body, my nervous system waswired for chaos.
It's like, no, that's way toorelaxing.
Come on, that is that's notsafe.

(05:43):
We don't know how to functionin that.
We know how to function indrama.
And here we go.
I'm laughing because I I cansee it so clearly now.
I can see it so clearly.
Do I sometimes still get caughtup in a little bit?
Yeah, but I have to say I'mmore out of it now than in it.
Thank goodness.

(06:05):
I'm getting there.
So also there's another point.
Oh, while I remember, there'sanother point that I want to
share with you.
Um, something that I alsonotice in myself is subconscious
loyalty to the past.
Subconscious loyalty to a pastthat's not even real anymore.

(06:27):
Holding on to pain, um,poverty, struggle, sometimes out
of loyalty to family stories orour ancestry.
And something that I also wantto share with you quickly also
is what I really deeplydiscovered this year, that I

(06:50):
started to appreciate more andmore now is I call it the
dopamine hiccup.
This is when we become used tothe struggle of not getting what
we want, that our reward systemrewires to feel motivated by
the journey rather than actuallyinstead of the outcome.

(07:13):
And this can happen when westay too long in that state of
struggle.
And we don't break the habit,we don't break the pattern, we
we don't apply self-help toolsto start to find ways or
reasoning or understanding whydo we stay stuck.
You see, this is now where, ifI can reframe it in the fun way,

(07:37):
where science meets the soul.
Right?
The brain's negativity, thatthat bias and these trauma
imprints, it makes receivingfeel unsafe.
Right?
And feeling unsafe, how do wereceive from the universe?
Right?
We don't feel safe to receive.
And when we look at it from myperspective through my

(08:01):
metaphysical lens, I'm alsoseeing that unresolved emotions
that can act almost like, youknow, imagine it like energetic
blocks that's keeping us fromholding the vibration of more
goodness, peace, prosperity,right?
Because what you think is whatyou energize, and that's the

(08:22):
vibration that that yourselves,that your body holds.
So what are you sending out?
Right?
So my journey back to feelingworthy of receiving was to learn
to start to have awareness.
But here's the catch.

(08:42):
I don't know if you can relate,but this was very true for me.
Awareness without shame.
You see, there was always shamefor me when I notice a bad
habit or a pattern or um atrauma or something that was

(09:06):
within me that would that Iwould at least judge and
perceive as being not good,unhealthy.
Um people will look down at meif they know, oh my god, if it
had that, what?
Like that's just you know,feeling picked apart.
But these were all just storiesin my head.
Right?
And when I started to to breakdown this shame and and this

(09:31):
this challenge with receiving, Ihad to ask myself the right
question.
I asked myself many questions,and a lot of them were not for
me personally, not necessarilythe right one.
And one that really sticked waswhat am I afraid would happen

(09:52):
if I actually receive this?
Meaning whatever it is thatyou're sabotaging.
And for me, many, many yearsback, when I sabotaged my
relationships by just always notbeing with the right partner,
um and and I asked myself thisquestion what am I afraid would

(10:13):
happen if I actually received aloving relationship?
And this is a question thatjust cracked my heart wide open.
Wide open.
And at the time, not in apretty way, not in a pretty way
at all.
Because I I I felt that thatthat lack of self-worth of

(10:37):
having safe love.
I I couldn't, I couldn't evenimagine it, I couldn't fathom
it.
Because my dynamic with my dad,you know, him being quite a
violent person and having theseaddiction challenges, this this
was part of my groundfoundational platform from the

(10:58):
day that I can remember until Ileft the house.
And to feel safe in arelationship for me meant, well,
if I let my guard down, thenyou know anything can happen.
I'm I'm not ready to defendmyself.
Imagine that.
Living every day in a dynamicwhere you're ready to defend

(11:22):
yourself constantly.
Imagine what you're listeningfor in conversations.
What did I do wrong?
What is gonna happen next?
What is the where's thecriticism?
Where's the attack?
Right?
And so this is what cansabotage relationships if if we
don't learn to find, well, whereis that unsafe element in me

(11:44):
that's causing my filters tolook for this, to filter that
out in dynamics, conversations,um, connecting with people,
right?
And another aspect that I wantto share with you that really,
really truly helped me was tolearn how to regulate before

(12:07):
receiving.
Yeah.
Regulate yourself beforereceiving.
Find tools to calm your nervoussystem.
You can do it with breath work,you can do it with um uh maybe
just going for a power walk,just letting your body get rid
of that excess of cortisol andadrenaline.

(12:29):
Because a regulated body canhold more love, more abundance,
and more joy.
Right?
And I love, I don't know aboutyou, but I love reframing.
I love reframing.
So I love it because what I didwas I reframed receiving

(12:55):
actually as balance, right?
So what does it even mean?
So giving and receiving there'stwo sides of the same flow,
right?
So it's the same as when webreathe.
We inhale to receive, we exhaleto give.
Both are necessary.

(13:15):
Remember that.
And what I started to do thatreally helped me as well was
just practice small little actsof receiving.
Receive a compliment.
Receive it without, you know,oh yeah, you know, I was just
doing my hair for filming today,and uh, you know, if I had to

(13:37):
walk out like this in thestreet, people are like, oh my
god, where are you going?
You look great.
I'd just be like, I wouldnormally make excuses and
saying, well, I've actually beenfilming the whole day.
Um, you know, I'm doing this,I'm doing that.
And now it just I was like, oh,thank you.
Just take it, right?
Just take it.
And I've also learned to sayyes when someone offers help.

(13:57):
I've learned that.
But that's also allowingsupport, right?
Receiving support and celebratesmall wins.
Very, very, very important.
So you see, and I want to touchback on this quickly before we
start our healing meditation,which we will start very soon.

(14:19):
Self-sabotage is protection.
We touched on that right in thebeginning.
It's not a weakness.
I can't tell you how manypeople I speak to when they talk
about their self-sabotage andhow they just absolutely break
themselves down.
The goodness, the judgment, thecriticism, so much negativity

(14:39):
that comes with that.
It's not a weakness.
It's a protection strategy.
And we just need to help thebody to understand where we have
progressed to in our life,where it might be that we are in
a place now where it's safe toreceive.
We can receive.

(15:00):
And receiving, it's almost likeit's a practice of worthiness.
It's not luck.
It's not luck.
It's a practice of worthiness.
And what that means is the moreyou allow yourself to receive,
the more capacity you also willhave to give.

(15:24):
It's not selfish, it'salignment.
I repeat it.
It's not selfish, it'salignment.
All right, very good.
And so now, when you are ready,let's start our healing

(15:44):
meditation, and let's start nowby taking a nice deep breath.
Very good, and just start byfocusing on your breath, just as

(16:08):
you're inhaling and exhalingfully out, and notice as you do,
feel your body becoming heavierwith each exhale supported by

(16:35):
the ground beneath you.
Imagine roots growing from yourfeet and your spine, reaching

(16:59):
deep into the earth, groundingand stabilizing you, whispering
inwardly, in this moment I amsafe.
In this moment, I am safe, andbringing your awareness to the

(17:35):
crown of your head, slowlyscanning down through your face,
through your neck, yourshoulders, your arms, your

(18:04):
chest, your stomach, your hips,your legs, and also your feet,

(18:28):
and notice as you do that,notice any sensations, warmth,
tightness, heaviness or ease.
And what's important is insteadof judging, simply allow,

(19:01):
simply just acknowledge what youfeel.
Imagine a soft wave of goldenlight moving from your head down
to your toes, relaxing everymuscle it touches, placing one

(19:37):
hand on your heart, and one handon your stomach, and taking now
a gentle breath in for a countof four.

(20:00):
Hold for a moment and exhaleslowly for a count of six, and

(20:29):
notice as you're inhaling andexhaling, imagine that you're
breathing in calmness and alsopeace and balance with each

(20:56):
exhale, releasing tension, fear,and old energy as well,
repeating this rhythm andletting your body just soften

(21:22):
and your mind quiet down,feeling your nervous system also
shifting into safety and rest.
Now imagine a warm golden lightabove your head, and as you're

(21:55):
breathing, see this lightflowing down into your body,
filling your head, your chest,your stomach, your legs, and
your feet, and this light itcarries healing, compassion, and

(22:30):
also inner peace, allowing itto gather in all these different
areas of tension or pain,gently softening them, and just

(22:52):
gently within yourself, allowthis light to restore you.
You are whole, you are calm,and feel this light expanding

(23:13):
beyond your body, creating asafe, peaceful aura around you.
And now let's affirm ourpositive affirmations, and all

(23:34):
that you have to do is listen tomy voice and allow yourself to
receive them.
I am safe to receive love, joy,and abundance.
I deserve the blessings lifebrings me.

(23:59):
I release all patterns ofself-sabotage with compassion.
Receiving is a natural part oflife's flow.

(24:20):
I allow myself to be supportedin big and small ways.
My nervous system relaxes as Iwelcome goodness in.

(24:47):
Opportunities are safe for meto explore and embrace.

(25:12):
The more I receive, the more Ican share with others.
I celebrate my progress withgratitude.

(25:33):
Ease feels safe in my body now.
Every day I expand my capacityto receive.

(25:55):
I say yes to my blessingsinstead of pushing them away.
Life supports me, and I welcomeits gifts fully.

(26:20):
And I invite you now to take amoment to sit in the stillness
within this light.
Notice how your body feels now.
Lighter, calmer, more at peace,allowing yourself to carry this

(26:53):
calmness into the rest of yourday.
Taking a nice deep breath.
Very good.
Just notice as you arebreathing, feel that surface
beneath your body.
Feeling fully supported asyou're coming back into the here

(27:18):
and now, bringing your fullfocus and awareness to the
bottom of your fate.
Very good.
And gently opening your eyesand welcome back, giving

(27:42):
yourself also a nice bigstretch.
And remember that you are notalone.
Remember that you're healingone step at a time, one breath
at a time.

And today's affirmation (27:59):
I say yes to my blessings instead of
no.
And remember that if thisepisode touched you, then please
share it with someone else whocould also be on their healing
journey.
And as always, breathe deep,listen within, and stay gently

(28:20):
curious.
I love you.
Thank you for being here today,and I look forward to seeing
you in our next episode.
And until then, be the lightthat you are.
Bye for now.