The Science of Emotional Intelligence—and How to Strengthen Yours + Meditation

Send us a text

The Science of Emotional Intelligence — and How to Strengthen Yours (Including Meditation)
In this episode of Heal Within, Dr. Evette Rose — trauma therapist and creator of the Metaphysical Anatomy Technique™ — explores Emotional Intelligence as the nervous system’s hidden superpower. Through personal insights, neuroscience, and practical strategies, Dr. Evette breaks down the four pillars of Emotional Intelligence: self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness, and relationship management. You’ll discover why EI is vital for trauma recovery, how to spot the hidden barriers holding you back, and three actionable ways to strengthen your own. The episode closes with a guided meditation and affirmations to help you embody emotional safety and compassion. Whether you’re healing from the past, improving relationships, or leading with empathy, this conversation will equip you with tools to move through life with greater presence, resilience, and grace.

References (APA 7th Edition)

Bradberry, T., & Greaves, J. (2009). Emotional intelligence 2.0. TalentSmart.

Eurich, T. (2017). Insight: The surprising truth about how others see us, how we see ourselves, and why the answers matter more than we think. Currency.

Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. Bantam Books.

Gross, J. J. (2015). Emotion regulation: Current status and future prospects. Psychological Inquiry, 26(1), 1–26. https://doi.org/10.1080/1047840X.2014.940781

McEwen, B. S., & Stellar, E. (1993). Stress and the individual: Mechanisms leading to disease. Archives of Internal Medicine, 153(18), 2093–2101. https://doi.org/10.1001/archinte.1993.00410180039004

Schutte, N. S., Malouff, J. M., Hall, L. E., Haggerty, D. J., Cooper, J. T., Golden, C. J., & Dornheim, L. (1998). Development and validation of a measure of emotional intelligence. Personality and Individual Differences, 25(2), 167–177. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0191-8869(98)00001-4

Siegel, D. J. (2010). The mindful therapist: A clinician’s guide to mindsight and neural integration. W. W. Norton & Company.

Support the show

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Hi and welcome here to Heal Within with Dr.
Evette Rose, trauma therapistand also creator of Metaphysical
Anatomy Technique.
Today's podcast is going to beyour safe place to explore
emotional healing, nervoussystem repair and also deep
inner transformation.
And if you are ready to godeeper and you would like to be

(00:29):
supported in your journey, youcan book a one-on-one session
with me or any one of mycertified Metapsychology
Coaching practitioners.
You can also join our upcominglive healing events, workshops
and also retreats atmetaphysicalanatomycom.
Now let's begin your journeyback to wholeness, one breath at

(00:50):
a time, one breakthrough at atime.
And today we're going to diveinto something that touches
every area of your life.
Whether you are healing, whetherit's trauma, building a
relationship, running a businessor just trying to get through
your day without that emotionaloverload.

(01:12):
We are talking about emotionalintelligence.
This is also what I actuallylike to call the nervous
system's superpower.
Now, it's not just aboutmanaging your feelings.
It's actually about learninghow to work with your emotions,
not against them.

(01:32):
You see, it's the foundation ofhow we connect with others, how
we lead and how we communicate,and also how we heal how we
heal.
Now it begs the question whyemotional intelligence matter
now more than ever.
You see, we live in a worldthat celebrates hustle data

(02:00):
intelligence, but emotionalintelligence I don't know.
I see it as being somethingthat's actually quite overlooked
, and yet it's actually one ofthe strongest predictors of
success, and research even showsthat you see not just success
in careers, but in life, inrelationships, in health and
also in healing and the abilityto recognize and understand and

(02:24):
manage now your own emotions andinfluence and emphasize with
emotions of others.
It's not just nice to have it,it's essential, especially if
you are on a trauma recoveryjourney.
So many of us were raised,perhaps, maybe in environments

(02:46):
where emotions were eitherdismissed, punished or
completely ignored, and becauseof that, that emotional
intelligence it wasn't modeledfor us.
But here's the good news it canbe learned at any given age
from any starting point.
So what are the four corepillars of emotional

(03:13):
intelligence?
Let's break it down together,because there are four main
components to this.
Number one self-awareness.
You see, this is your abilityto recognize what you are
feeling and how those feelingsare also impacting your thoughts
, your behaviors and also yourenergy.
It's also about noticingwithout judgment.

(03:37):
This is something that's quitehard for most of us.
I mean, it was hard for me aswell when I started to bring my
awareness to this how to noticewithout judgment.
I don't know about you, buthave you noticed how sometimes
you look at something and youjust find yourself formulating

(03:57):
all these opinions and oftensometimes quite negative
judgments, and before you knowit, you're having a really
strong opinion within seconds.
Now, if you don't know what'sgoing on inside and when we
create all this judgment, it'shard to respond accurately and

(04:19):
properly.
You can only react.
You can only react.
And one of the biggestbreakthroughs in my own healing
journey was actually recognizingthat.
The way that others treated me,especially when I was younger,
that became my inner voice, thatbecame my inner compass, and

(04:40):
their rejection became myself-talk.
Their limitations became theboundaries of what I thought I
could have and not have.
But once I started to gainawareness, self-awareness, I was
starting to find myself beingable to say I no longer accept

(05:01):
your definition of my worth.
I get to choose that now.
Number two the second coreelement here is self-regulation.
You see, this is the ability tomanage your own internal world,
your emotions, your impulsesand also your responses.

(05:22):
And this isn't aboutsuppression or being calm all
the time.
It's about knowing when topause.
It's about breathing throughactivation and it's also, I
would say, it's also makingchoices from your values instead
of your triggers.
Now, it's one thing to makechoices from our values,

(05:47):
gracefully, not fighting for it.
You see, in trauma healing, weoften work with the nervous
system to retrain thisregulation Because, I mean, the
truth is, if you don't feel safeand if you are one of my
students, you'll know I talkabout this a lot and research
shows this.
I mean, this is not somethingnew that I came up with.

(06:09):
You can't regulate If you don'tfeel safe.
It's going to be really hard toregulate, and emotional
intelligence actually gives ustools to create that safety
internally.
Now, the third element that Iwant to share with you is social
awareness.
Now, this is aboutunderstanding what others are

(06:33):
feeling, not through assumption,but through a complete sense of
empathy.
Right, it's about attuning.
You see, empathy isn't I knowhow I would feel if I were in
your shoes.
It's actually, I'm curiousabout how you feel in your shoes

(06:59):
.
You see, when we heal fromtrauma, we become more socially
aware, not less, because we nolonger then project our pain
onto others.
We start to feel what's realinstead of what's protective.
The last fourth element isrelationship management.

(07:21):
You see, this includescommunication, collaboration,
boundary setting and alsoconflict resolution, and it's so
important because you can haveall the healing in the world,
but if you can't express yourneeds or hold a safe container

(07:42):
with others, you're going tostruggle to connect in a
nourishing way.
And something that really blowsmy mind is that most people
think that they are self-aware.
Now, a study done by apsychologist found that 95% of
people believe they are, butonly 10 to 5% actually really

(08:06):
are.
Now, why is that actuallyreally are?
Now, why is that?
You see, self-awareness it'stricky, especially if you are in
a leadership position, becausethe more power you have, the
less honest feedback you receive, and if you're living in trauma
, survival mode and you maymistake your defenses for

(08:27):
personality traits as an exampleoh, I'm just direct might
actually mean I learned toprotect myself by being blunt.
But here's the truthSelf-awareness it's not a trait,
it's a practice.
Now it begs the question how dowe even begin to strengthen our

(08:50):
emotional intelligence?
Let me give you three butpowerful ways that we can start
to already build our emotionalintelligence.
I'm going to share the pointswith you that helped me on my
journey, because I I'm stillbuilding mine by nowhere at the
end line yet, but I'm definitelybuilding it.

(09:12):
So what really helped me was toname my emotions, ask yourself
what are you feeling right now?
And then go deeper than good orbad.
Is it grief, is it guilt, is itdisappointment, is it

(09:32):
excitement masked as anxiety?
Naming it is actually going tohelp to almost like give your
brain something to work withactually, instead of something
to run from.
Second is ask for feedback, asksomeone that you trust.
How do you experience me whenI'm stressed, when I'm under

(09:53):
pressure?
Do you feel hurt by me?
It might sting, but it's alsofreeing, because you can't shift
what you can't say.
Another third point is alsoread stories.
Another third point is alsoread stories.
Watch people and stay curious,because reading books with

(10:16):
complex characters or watchinghow others respond emotionally,
or reading people'sautobiographies, it really can
help us to grow our empathymuscles, and the more
perspective we start to expose alittle bit more of ourselves,
the more emotionally agile youactually can become, you see.
So, whether you are a coach, ahealer, a business owner or even

(10:38):
just a parent and not even justa parent I'm a parent too, and
God, that feels like four jobsin one, like four chops in one.
Emotional intelligence isn'tjust personal, it's cultural.
You set the tone, you see.
So to create environments wherepeople are safe to share,

(10:59):
that's one.
This can also be where, let'ssay, where feedback is not
punishment, where success canalso be defined not just by
output, by how people also feelalong the way.
You see, celebrate not just theperson who climbs the mountain,
but the people who actuallyhelp them to get there.

(11:22):
Emotional intelligence, itbuilds trust, and trust builds
legacy.
So it's really important and Iinvite you to remember that
emotional intelligence it's notabout being perfect, it's about
being present.
It's not about having noemotional reactions.

(11:43):
It's about understanding whyyou have them and learning how
to move through them with grace.
And if no one ever told youthis before, you are allowed to
change your emotional patterns,you are allowed to break the
cycle and you are absolutelyworthy of being seen, heard and

(12:07):
also loved for who you really,truly are.
And if this episode touched you, if there was something
valuable in it, share it with afriend, and also let them know
that it includes a meditation,which is exactly what we are now
going to move into.
So, when you're ready, I inviteyou to take a nice deep breath

(12:30):
and get yourself settled.
You can sit up, you can liedown whatever you feel most
comfortable with.
And when you are ready, let'sstart by taking nice, slow deep
breaths, maybe a nice one in thenose and out the mouth deep

(12:53):
breaths, maybe a nice one in thenose, now the mouth.
Inhale calmness and exhale thattension, inhale safety and

(13:43):
exhale that baggage of what youfeel you are ready to release.
Feel the ground beneath you,feel yourself being held,
completely supported you don'thave to carry it all, not here

(14:05):
and not now and begin to bringyour awareness to your body

(14:26):
Gently scan from the top of yourhead down to your toes, notice
any areas of tightness,heaviness or numbness.

(14:48):
No judgment, just curiosity.
And when you feel ready, bringyour attention now to your heart

(15:10):
, this sacred space in thecenter of your chest.
Maybe it feels light.
Maybe it feels light, maybe itfeels guarded, maybe it feels

(15:37):
tired.
Whatever is present, it iswelcome there.
Observe it, allowing yourbreath to soften that space.

(16:23):
Space Now, imagine a softgolden, your essence, your truth

(16:46):
.
And this light is wise.
It knows what you need.

(17:08):
It knows what you need and seeit gently pouring down Over your
forehead, releasing that mentalnoise Over your throat,

(17:45):
softening self-doubt Over yourheart, dissolving old pain Down

(18:11):
into your stomach, calming yournervous system and also, through
your legs, anchoring you backinto the earth.
Anchoring you back into theearth and feeling how this light

(18:35):
is filling every single cell inyour body With peace, with
safety and also renewal.
Let it linger now where youneed it most and while it's

(19:03):
soothing that area, let's affirma few affirmations together and
all that you have to do islisten to my voice and let them
echo through your body and yournervous system as well.
I am safe to feel, I'm allowedto heal.

(19:26):
I'm allowed to heal.
I'm worthy of love andgentleness.
It is safe to let go of what nolonger serves me.

(19:53):
I trust my body to guide myhealing.
Finding yourself breathing inthose words, and let them land
deep, let them soften the inneredges of your body and notice

(20:25):
how your breath becomes steady,how your breath becomes steady,
feel your heartbeat calm andyour nervous system is starting

(20:53):
to remember safety and your bodyis remembering peace and
remembering that you are notbroken.
You are healing and rememberingthat you are not broken.

(21:13):
You are healing Moment bymoment, breath by breath, and
when you feel ready, you cangently start to bring movement
back to your body.
Maybe you can wiggle yourfingers and your toes and give

(21:46):
yourself also a nice stretch, ifyou want, and placing your
hands over your heart and inyour mind or out loud, you can
say I am healing, I am whole, Iam home and when you are ready,

(22:13):
open your eyes and bring thiscalmness with you, carry it into
your day and night and knowthat you can return to the space
anytime you need and gentlycome back.

(22:42):
Beautiful Welcome back.
Thank you so much for stayinghere with me to the very end,
and if this episode touched you,then share it with someone
who's probably also maybe goingthrough the healing journey.
And also affirmation for todayis I'm worthy of gentleness and

(23:03):
love.
Beautiful, thank you so muchfor being here with me.
Everyone, I love you and untilnext time, be the light that you
are.
Bye, everyone.