July 22, 2025 • 22 mins
Why do so many of us carry the quiet ache of not feeling good enough? In this powerful episode, Dr. Evette Rose explores how early emotional wounds shape our beliefs about self-worth, why the brain holds on to rejection, and how we can begin to rewire those patterns using the power of neuroplasticity, self-compassion, and conscious connection.
You’ll learn:
- How the brain forms unworthiness loops from early experiences
- Why other people’s emotional limitations aren't reflections of your value
- How to begin healing through repetition, safety, and love
- A soothing guided meditation to reconnect with your true, worthy self
This is your invitation to release distorted stories, reclaim your lovability, and return home to yourself.
With love
Dr. Evette Rose
Website: www.metaphysicalanatomy.com
Events: https://metaphysicalanatomy.com/event_s/
Books: https://metaphysicalanatomy.com/books-by-evette-rose/
Book a Session: https://metaphysicalanatomy.com/session/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to Heal Within here with me, with Dr
Yvette Rose, trauma therapistand also the creator of
Metaphysical Anatomy Technique.
And this podcast is your safespace to explore emotional
healing, nervous system repairand also deep transformation.
And if you are ready to godeeper and you would like to
(00:28):
also be supported on yourjourney, you can always book a
one-on-one session with me orwith any of our certified
metapsychology coachingpractitioners, or you can even
join any of our upcoming livehealing events, workshops and
also retreats atmetaphysicalanatomycom.
Now let's begin your journeyback to wholeness, one breath at
(00:49):
a time, one breakthrough at atime.
And today we're going to beexploring that feeling that
quietly shapes so many lives AmI lovable?
We will trace how this beliefis wired into the brain, how
other people's treatment becomesthe soundtrack of your worth
(01:12):
and also, most importantly ofall, how I can no longer and
that I don't have to acceptsomeone else's traumatized
perspective as the truth, or atleast the perceived truth, of
(01:36):
who I am.
You see, their inability tolove me was never a verdict of
my worth.
It was simply a mirror of theirown scars, and that realization
(01:56):
set me free, and it is myinvitation to you today for that
understanding to also set youfree.
Let's dive into how otherpeople's voices can actually
become your own From our veryfirst breath.
We learn who we are through ourrelationships.
If a caregiver meets, forexample, our smile with warm,
(02:17):
our nervous system starts topair with when I reach out with,
I am received.
Paired with when I reach outwith I am received.
But when reaching out is nowmet with maybe indifference,
criticism or rage, our brainpairs my need for connection
(02:39):
with I get hurt.
Now, over time, that pairingwires into an inner narrator.
You see, if they, for example,ignored me, I must be unworthy.
If they shame me, love must beconditional.
You see, these voices becomealmost like the barometer of
(03:01):
what we believe we can or cannothave in life.
Someone else's dysregulatedworldview becomes the ceiling on
our self-love.
Now, when we look at the brain'sseparation distress alarm, this
is going to shed now a new,different.
(03:22):
So let's zoom inside.
When we have a connection thatwhere we always hope to have our
needs met or we hope to receivelove when that connection fails
, the brain's separationdistress circuitry is going to
fire and it's going to jolt andit's going to fire off a lot of
stress chemistry.
(03:43):
And this can sometimes, forexample, be felt almost like as
a punch in the chest or in thestomach.
Suddenly, you just feel thisfeeling.
You know this feeling.
How can I describe it?
It's this dropping sensationand then cortisol surges and the
amygdala stamps this momentwith fear and the prefrontal
(04:05):
cortex scrambles to make senseof it.
Was it me?
Am I bad?
Is this my fault?
You see, repeat that loop nowenough times and the brain lays
down this implicit memory ofrejection that can now be
triggered decades later, withthe faintest, almost like whiff
(04:27):
of disconnection.
The result a limbic collapse,shoulders slumped, eyes feeling
like you don't want to make eyecontact.
You're looking down all thetime and your heart's going to
feel tense, it's going to feelblocked, it's going to feel
guarded.
And even in childhood, apartner's harmless distraction
(04:49):
can actually resurrect thisancient, ancient program.
And echo.
See, I'm still not enough forbeing responded to.
It's almost like we're lookingfor that validation in our
environment from people who werenever part of the problem.
Now, why does this feelingpersist?
You see these early pairingsfrom our near.
(05:12):
It's almost like it.
Yeah, let me explain it likethis.
These early pairings, they formalmost like neural cement.
Now the amygdala attacks anylonging for closeness actually
as a threat.
So what happens?
We start to avoid vulnerability, we sabotage intimacy or we
(05:34):
armor ourselves up withperfectionism, all just to dodge
that old pain of unworthinessand the mishap.
Here the sad part is that theseprotective strategies also
actually block the veryexperiences of acceptance that
would heal us.
You see, this is where rewiringthrough love, safety and
(06:00):
repetition is called for.
Here's the hope, becauseneuroplasticity is now actually
on our side.
Because each time we feelgenuine acceptance whether it's
from maybe a therapist, a friendor a partner, or even it can
even be a pet oxytocin actuallyfloods the brain and it's
(06:24):
sending those calming signals tothe amygdala and that is
opening up new synaptic pathways.
So when we repeatedly start topair old shame memories with new
experiences of being seen andbeing valued, that positive
circuit now grows actuallyalmost like into a superhighway
and that shame circuit starts toalmost like into a super
(06:45):
highway.
And that shame circuit startsto almost like wither away right
Into, like a forgotten offtrack side road that we just
don't need anymore and we don'tuse it.
So here is a quick primingexercise, something fun that you
can try all by yourself, andthis would normally work if you
(07:07):
practice this on a daily basis.
So if you choose to accept thismission to your path back to
self-worth, then give it a try.
So first knob is to recall aloving memory.
Here you, for example, canclose your eyes and remember a
moment, no matter how big orsmall, when you felt truly
(07:28):
valued.
Notice where that warmth landsin your body and some of you
might feel really stressed.
It might be hard to recallcertain memories, especially if
you're stuck in a heightenedstate of distress with a lot of
cortisol flooding your body.
We know that brain fog andmemory recall can sometimes be a
little bit of a hindrance.
If that's the case, use yourimagination.
(07:53):
I invite you to imagine ascenario where you would have a
circumstance and an environmentwhere you would feel deeply
valued.
Then anchor the sensation.
You can place your hand overthat spot Normally people feel
it in the heart, but you mightfeel it in another part of the
(08:14):
body and then breathe slowly.
Breathe slowly and let thatfeeling almost just expand more
and more and more for about just30 seconds 30 seconds would be
more than enough and then bringin more a recent hurt that you
might have felt.
So, while you're actuallyholding that love.
(08:36):
While you're holding thatwarmth that's now stretched so
far, and big, gently, recallmaybe a recent moment where you
felt maybe snubbed or maybepushed aside.
What's important now is to keepboth sensations in your
awareness.
It's almost like the sting andthe safety at the same time.
(08:59):
And now let the safety surroundthe old pain, let it surround
that old hurt feeling, almostlike warm water around an ice
cube.
And the next step then is toactually repeat, because
(09:21):
remember that the brain learnsthrough repetition.
Do this 10 to 20 reps, 20 timessets, whatever you want to call
it, but start the process ofrerouting this old wiring.
And remember also I can'tstress this enough my
breakthrough was so impactfulfor me and I really hope that
(09:43):
when you really start and I knowit's one thing to actually hear
it, it's another thing toembody it, to really feel it
vibrate through every singlecell in your body.
Remember how someone treatedyou was never proof of your
unworthiness.
It was a reflection of theirstate, not your value.
(10:05):
And today you have that powerto choose a different mirror, a
different voice, one thatreflects your inherent
lovability.
So thank you for listeningtoday, thank you for being here
with me, and now we're going tomove on to our healing
(10:27):
meditation.
Now I invite you to find a quietplace where you feel safe,
maybe seated, or you could belying down.
Remember that this is now goingto be a sacred moment to meet
yourself with softness.
Moment to meet yourself withsoftness and, when you're ready,
(10:51):
allowing your eyes now togently close, to start by
focusing on your breath.
Just notice as you're breathing, as you're inhaling and
exhaling, and as you're comingback to yourself, meaning your
(11:21):
awareness is coming back to you.
Remember that right now,there's nothing to fix, there's
nothing to prove or become yourbreath, just your presence, it's
enough.
Taking a nice deep breaththrough your nose, slowly exhale
(11:52):
out your mouth, noticing andfeeling how your body is
softening with every breath.
Feel the ground beneath you,the earth is holding you, feel
(12:32):
how supported you are by it.
You are safe, you are here.
I invite you now to bring gentleawareness to your heart and let
(12:55):
the focus be in that spacethat's actually behind your
chest, where so many of us cansometimes carry the ache of not
being chosen, not feeling seen,where so many of us can
sometimes carry the ache of notbeing chosen, not feeling seen,
(13:17):
not maybe being loved the waythat we need it to be loved.
What do you notice there?
You might notice tightness,heaviness or numbness.
(13:43):
Whatever you're feeling, it'sokay, let it be there.
Be mindful to not judge it.
Let's take more the position ofbeing the observer.
Let's take more the position ofbeing the observer and
(14:07):
remembering now that there'snothing wrong with you.
There's just perhaps a part ofyou that learned to contract to
protect when love felt maybeunavailable or unsafe.
(14:28):
And let's breathe into thatspace now.
Inhale gently and exhale.
Notice as you're breathing.
(14:49):
Breathing may be a hop intoyour nose, into that chest
cavity, and then, from thatchest cavity, imagine yourself
exhaling out from that area,feeling how it's softening any
(15:22):
tightness that might be there,noticing how space is opening up
Space for truth and I inviteyou now to imagine that you're
(15:52):
standing in front of a big,full-length mirror.
You also notice that this is noordinary mirror.
This mirror shows you not asothers saw you, not as your pain
defined you, but as you trulyare.
(16:17):
Past all those illusions, fear,there's purity, there's deep
love, there's wholeness andthere's worthiness.
(16:42):
And I invite you now to seeyourself in this mirror through
the eyes of unconditional love.
Notice your softness, yourstrength, your resilience.
(17:09):
And your light and I invite younow to bring to mind a person
who maybe at some point in yourlife couldn't maybe give you the
(17:30):
love that you needed.
And it's not to judge, it's towitness.
I invite you to silently say tothat person it's to witness.
I invite you to silently say tothat person your inability to
(17:59):
love me did not make meunlovable.
Your wounds do not define myself-worth.
Your wounds do not define myself-worth.
I release your story of me andI reclaim my own.
Now I invite you to take a nicedeep breath, feel the weight of
(18:43):
that story, leaving your bodyfeel almost like your nervous
system is just exhaling thatmemory.
And I invite you now to listento a few positive words of
(19:05):
affirmation.
If you want to, you can alsorepeat them, or you can just
listen to my voice.
I am lovable, I am worthy ofcare and lovable I am worthy of
care and connection.
(19:29):
My heart is healing gently andfully.
It is safe to be seen.
I choose to believe in myinherent goodness.
(19:51):
I no longer carry anyone else'sdistorted version of me.
I return to myself now withlove.
(20:29):
Let these words ripple throughyour entire system, rewiring
that old, outdated shame withthe real truth and light.
Taking another nice deep breathand let your heart expand with
(20:59):
that softness.
Let the feeling of being lovedloved not for what you do but
for who you are settle in andalso know this you were never
unlovable.
(21:19):
You were never unlovable.
You were simply misseen.
And now you see yourselfclearly and you belong, you
matter and you are loved.
Gently wiggling your toes andyour fingers, gently wiggling
(21:44):
your toes and your fingers,allowing this healing meditation
to continue to integrate inyour conscious and subconscious
mind and throughout youremotional body.
Throughout the day and night.
Ready, you can gently open youreyes and welcome back Well done
, and remember that if thisepisode touched you, please
(22:08):
share it with someone on theirhealing journey and, as always,
breathe deep, listen within andstay gently curious, and the
affirmation for today, who I am,is enough and good enough.
Thank you so much for your love, your light and your energy and
(22:29):
for being here with me todayand until next time, be the
light that you are.
Welcome to Heal Within here with me, with Dr
Yvette Rose, trauma therapistand also the creator of
Metaphysical Anatomy Technique.
And this podcast is your safespace to explore emotional
healing, nervous system repairand also deep transformation.
And if you are ready to godeeper and you would like to
(00:28):
also be supported on yourjourney, you can always book a
one-on-one session with me orwith any of our certified
metapsychology coachingpractitioners, or you can even
join any of our upcoming livehealing events, workshops and
also retreats atmetaphysicalanatomycom.
Now let's begin your journeyback to wholeness, one breath at
(00:49):
a time, one breakthrough at atime.
And today we're going to beexploring that feeling that
quietly shapes so many lives AmI lovable?
We will trace how this beliefis wired into the brain, how
other people's treatment becomesthe soundtrack of your worth
(01:12):
and also, most importantly ofall, how I can no longer and
that I don't have to acceptsomeone else's traumatized
perspective as the truth, or atleast the perceived truth, of
(01:36):
who I am.
You see, their inability tolove me was never a verdict of
my worth.
It was simply a mirror of theirown scars, and that realization
(01:56):
set me free, and it is myinvitation to you today for that
understanding to also set youfree.
Let's dive into how otherpeople's voices can actually
become your own From our veryfirst breath.
We learn who we are through ourrelationships.
If a caregiver meets, forexample, our smile with warm,
(02:17):
our nervous system starts topair with when I reach out with,
I am received.
Paired with when I reach outwith I am received.
But when reaching out is nowmet with maybe indifference,
criticism or rage, our brainpairs my need for connection
(02:39):
with I get hurt.
Now, over time, that pairingwires into an inner narrator.
You see, if they, for example,ignored me, I must be unworthy.
If they shame me, love must beconditional.
You see, these voices becomealmost like the barometer of
(03:01):
what we believe we can or cannothave in life.
Someone else's dysregulatedworldview becomes the ceiling on
our self-love.
Now, when we look at the brain'sseparation distress alarm, this
is going to shed now a new,different.
(03:22):
So let's zoom inside.
When we have a connection thatwhere we always hope to have our
needs met or we hope to receivelove when that connection fails
, the brain's separationdistress circuitry is going to
fire and it's going to jolt andit's going to fire off a lot of
stress chemistry.
(03:43):
And this can sometimes, forexample, be felt almost like as
a punch in the chest or in thestomach.
Suddenly, you just feel thisfeeling.
You know this feeling.
How can I describe it?
It's this dropping sensationand then cortisol surges and the
amygdala stamps this momentwith fear and the prefrontal
(04:05):
cortex scrambles to make senseof it.
Was it me?
Am I bad?
Is this my fault?
You see, repeat that loop nowenough times and the brain lays
down this implicit memory ofrejection that can now be
triggered decades later, withthe faintest, almost like whiff
(04:27):
of disconnection.
The result a limbic collapse,shoulders slumped, eyes feeling
like you don't want to make eyecontact.
You're looking down all thetime and your heart's going to
feel tense, it's going to feelblocked, it's going to feel
guarded.
And even in childhood, apartner's harmless distraction
(04:49):
can actually resurrect thisancient, ancient program.
And echo.
See, I'm still not enough forbeing responded to.
It's almost like we're lookingfor that validation in our
environment from people who werenever part of the problem.
Now, why does this feelingpersist?
You see these early pairingsfrom our near.
(05:12):
It's almost like it.
Yeah, let me explain it likethis.
These early pairings, they formalmost like neural cement.
Now the amygdala attacks anylonging for closeness actually
as a threat.
So what happens?
We start to avoid vulnerability, we sabotage intimacy or we
(05:34):
armor ourselves up withperfectionism, all just to dodge
that old pain of unworthinessand the mishap.
Here the sad part is that theseprotective strategies also
actually block the veryexperiences of acceptance that
would heal us.
You see, this is where rewiringthrough love, safety and
(06:00):
repetition is called for.
Here's the hope, becauseneuroplasticity is now actually
on our side.
Because each time we feelgenuine acceptance whether it's
from maybe a therapist, a friendor a partner, or even it can
even be a pet oxytocin actuallyfloods the brain and it's
(06:24):
sending those calming signals tothe amygdala and that is
opening up new synaptic pathways.
So when we repeatedly start topair old shame memories with new
experiences of being seen andbeing valued, that positive
circuit now grows actuallyalmost like into a superhighway
and that shame circuit starts toalmost like into a super
(06:45):
highway.
And that shame circuit startsto almost like wither away right
Into, like a forgotten offtrack side road that we just
don't need anymore and we don'tuse it.
So here is a quick primingexercise, something fun that you
can try all by yourself, andthis would normally work if you
(07:07):
practice this on a daily basis.
So if you choose to accept thismission to your path back to
self-worth, then give it a try.
So first knob is to recall aloving memory.
Here you, for example, canclose your eyes and remember a
moment, no matter how big orsmall, when you felt truly
(07:28):
valued.
Notice where that warmth landsin your body and some of you
might feel really stressed.
It might be hard to recallcertain memories, especially if
you're stuck in a heightenedstate of distress with a lot of
cortisol flooding your body.
We know that brain fog andmemory recall can sometimes be a
little bit of a hindrance.
If that's the case, use yourimagination.
(07:53):
I invite you to imagine ascenario where you would have a
circumstance and an environmentwhere you would feel deeply
valued.
Then anchor the sensation.
You can place your hand overthat spot Normally people feel
it in the heart, but you mightfeel it in another part of the
(08:14):
body and then breathe slowly.
Breathe slowly and let thatfeeling almost just expand more
and more and more for about just30 seconds 30 seconds would be
more than enough and then bringin more a recent hurt that you
might have felt.
So, while you're actuallyholding that love.
(08:36):
While you're holding thatwarmth that's now stretched so
far, and big, gently, recallmaybe a recent moment where you
felt maybe snubbed or maybepushed aside.
What's important now is to keepboth sensations in your
awareness.
It's almost like the sting andthe safety at the same time.
(08:59):
And now let the safety surroundthe old pain, let it surround
that old hurt feeling, almostlike warm water around an ice
cube.
And the next step then is toactually repeat, because
(09:21):
remember that the brain learnsthrough repetition.
Do this 10 to 20 reps, 20 timessets, whatever you want to call
it, but start the process ofrerouting this old wiring.
And remember also I can'tstress this enough my
breakthrough was so impactfulfor me and I really hope that
(09:43):
when you really start and I knowit's one thing to actually hear
it, it's another thing toembody it, to really feel it
vibrate through every singlecell in your body.
Remember how someone treatedyou was never proof of your
unworthiness.
It was a reflection of theirstate, not your value.
(10:05):
And today you have that powerto choose a different mirror, a
different voice, one thatreflects your inherent
lovability.
So thank you for listeningtoday, thank you for being here
with me, and now we're going tomove on to our healing
(10:27):
meditation.
Now I invite you to find a quietplace where you feel safe,
maybe seated, or you could belying down.
Remember that this is now goingto be a sacred moment to meet
yourself with softness.
Moment to meet yourself withsoftness and, when you're ready,
(10:51):
allowing your eyes now togently close, to start by
focusing on your breath.
Just notice as you're breathing, as you're inhaling and
exhaling, and as you're comingback to yourself, meaning your
(11:21):
awareness is coming back to you.
Remember that right now,there's nothing to fix, there's
nothing to prove or become yourbreath, just your presence, it's
enough.
Taking a nice deep breaththrough your nose, slowly exhale
(11:52):
out your mouth, noticing andfeeling how your body is
softening with every breath.
Feel the ground beneath you,the earth is holding you, feel
(12:32):
how supported you are by it.
You are safe, you are here.
I invite you now to bring gentleawareness to your heart and let
(12:55):
the focus be in that spacethat's actually behind your
chest, where so many of us cansometimes carry the ache of not
being chosen, not feeling seen,where so many of us can
sometimes carry the ache of notbeing chosen, not feeling seen,
(13:17):
not maybe being loved the waythat we need it to be loved.
What do you notice there?
You might notice tightness,heaviness or numbness.
(13:43):
Whatever you're feeling, it'sokay, let it be there.
Be mindful to not judge it.
Let's take more the position ofbeing the observer.
Let's take more the position ofbeing the observer and
(14:07):
remembering now that there'snothing wrong with you.
There's just perhaps a part ofyou that learned to contract to
protect when love felt maybeunavailable or unsafe.
(14:28):
And let's breathe into thatspace now.
Inhale gently and exhale.
Notice as you're breathing.
(14:49):
Breathing may be a hop intoyour nose, into that chest
cavity, and then, from thatchest cavity, imagine yourself
exhaling out from that area,feeling how it's softening any
(15:22):
tightness that might be there,noticing how space is opening up
Space for truth and I inviteyou now to imagine that you're
(15:52):
standing in front of a big,full-length mirror.
You also notice that this is noordinary mirror.
This mirror shows you not asothers saw you, not as your pain
defined you, but as you trulyare.
(16:17):
Past all those illusions, fear,there's purity, there's deep
love, there's wholeness andthere's worthiness.
(16:42):
And I invite you now to seeyourself in this mirror through
the eyes of unconditional love.
Notice your softness, yourstrength, your resilience.
(17:09):
And your light and I invite younow to bring to mind a person
who maybe at some point in yourlife couldn't maybe give you the
(17:30):
love that you needed.
And it's not to judge, it's towitness.
I invite you to silently say tothat person it's to witness.
I invite you to silently say tothat person your inability to
(17:59):
love me did not make meunlovable.
Your wounds do not define myself-worth.
Your wounds do not define myself-worth.
I release your story of me andI reclaim my own.
Now I invite you to take a nicedeep breath, feel the weight of
(18:43):
that story, leaving your bodyfeel almost like your nervous
system is just exhaling thatmemory.
And I invite you now to listento a few positive words of
(19:05):
affirmation.
If you want to, you can alsorepeat them, or you can just
listen to my voice.
I am lovable, I am worthy ofcare and lovable I am worthy of
care and connection.
(19:29):
My heart is healing gently andfully.
It is safe to be seen.
I choose to believe in myinherent goodness.
(19:51):
I no longer carry anyone else'sdistorted version of me.
I return to myself now withlove.
(20:29):
Let these words ripple throughyour entire system, rewiring
that old, outdated shame withthe real truth and light.
Taking another nice deep breathand let your heart expand with
(20:59):
that softness.
Let the feeling of being lovedloved not for what you do but
for who you are settle in andalso know this you were never
unlovable.
(21:19):
You were never unlovable.
You were simply misseen.
And now you see yourselfclearly and you belong, you
matter and you are loved.
Gently wiggling your toes andyour fingers, gently wiggling
(21:44):
your toes and your fingers,allowing this healing meditation
to continue to integrate inyour conscious and subconscious
mind and throughout youremotional body.
Throughout the day and night.
Ready, you can gently open youreyes and welcome back Well done
, and remember that if thisepisode touched you, please
(22:08):
share it with someone on theirhealing journey and, as always,
breathe deep, listen within andstay gently curious, and the
affirmation for today, who I am,is enough and good enough.
Thank you so much for your love, your light and your energy and
(22:29):
for being here with me todayand until next time, be the
light that you are.
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