Ever wondered why spilled coffee can sometimes feel like an absolute catastrophe? That moment when a minor inconvenience triggers an emotional response completely disproportionate to the situation isn't about the size of the stressor—it's about your capacity to handle it.
The real culprit is what scientists call "allostatic load"—the cumulative wear and tear on your nervous system from prolonged, low-level stress. When your system never fully returns to baseline, you're perpetually running on edge. Your amygdala becomes hyperreactive, interpreting minor events as potential threats, while your prefrontal cortex—responsible for rational thinking and perspective-taking—becomes less active. This neurological state creates the perfect storm for overreaction: your physiological readiness is elevated, your emotional buffer is depleted, and small irritations stack up until one tiny additional stressor pushes you over the edge.
Fortunately, this cycle can be broken. Through nervous system regulation techniques like deep breathing, meditation, and micro-recovery breaks throughout your day, you can reset before reaching burnout. The guided meditation included in this episode offers a practical tool for creating your own mental sanctuary—a place to reset and release accumulated stress whenever you need it. By recognizing your personal signals when approaching your threshold and implementing regular regulation practices, you can prevent the buildup that makes minor inconveniences feel overwhelming. Remember, you are worthy of stopping and resting. Your healing journey happens one breath at a time.
Episode Transcript
Welcome to Heal Within, here with me, Dr.
Evette Rose, trauma therapistand also creator of the
Metaphysical Anatomy Technique.
And this podcast is here to beyour safe space to explore
emotional healing, nervoussystem repair and also deep
inner transformation.
Emotional healing, nervoussystem repair and also deep
(00:27):
inner transformation.
And if you are ready to godeeper and you would like to be
supported in your journey, youcan always book a one-on-one
session with me or with one ofmy certified metapsychology
coaching practitioners, and youcan also join us for our
upcoming live healing retreats,events, workshops and so forth
at metaphysicalanatomycom.
And now let's begin yourjourney back to wholeness, one
(00:53):
breath and one breakthrough at atime.
And today's podcast we're divinginto when spilled coffee feels
like the end of the world to.
When spilled coffee feels likethe end of the world, it's
almost like when small thingsfeel like they break you.
Can you relate to that?
This is something that Iabsolutely have experienced.
I mean, even just recently Ihad a moment like that, not
(01:20):
specifically with coffee, but Idefinitely had a moment, you see
, and what I realized after?
The fact that it's not the sizeof the demand that matters, but
whether, and especially for mein that moment whether I had
enough reserves to handle it.
You see, it's like the dailydrains on our energy that we're
(01:44):
not normally aware of thatSometimes I don't know if you've
had moments where you just go,go, go, you do, do, do and we
get stuck in almost like thisautopilot state where we are
stressed but we don't realizeconsciously how stressed we
really are.
And when moments like this takeplace, we might not even be
(02:07):
aware of how our nervous systemdecides when to shut down versus
when to actually keep going andpractical ways to just slow
down the drain on your capacityand make these small deposits
almost like back into youraccount, because it's not about
(02:29):
the demand, it was about mycapacity.
And as I look back at my lifeand I can really see that I've
been through some hardchallenges, like most of us.
We've had our good times andwe've had our trying times.
And what happens is when westart to experience and endure
(02:52):
this constant low-level stress,we start to also run on this
low-level edge.
And that is when the body isunder this continuous low-level
stress that's sometimes calledallostatic load and your nervous
system is never, it doesn'treally fully return to its
(03:15):
natural baseline.
Now let's unpack a little bitwhat allostatic load refers to.
This is almost like it's likethe wear and tear on the body
and also the brain from all thisprolonged activation of the
stress response.
And even if you're notnecessarily in that full fight
(03:36):
or flight, the sympatheticnervous system, it remains
particularly switched on andthis is keeping the stress
hormones like cortisol andadrenaline slightly elevated.
And this creates that state ofhypervigilance where your brain
is scanning for threats, oftenwithout you actually realizing
(03:58):
it.
And where does that leave thebrain?
Because how we interpret theworld, our environment ourselves
, drastically changes when weare under the influence of
stress, because you don't reallycare about I mean those days
(04:20):
where we just don't care if ourhair is brushed enough or done
well enough, because we're sostressed we just so focus on
getting something done orgetting to that end goal right.
So how we perceive ourselves,what we interpret, what we rate
as being important versus beingless important, it drastically
changes right.
So that low level stress.
(04:41):
It really affects the brain ina lot of measurable ways.
You see, like the amygdala, itbecomes a lot more reactive.
That's interpreting also a lotof more smaller events as maybe
potential threats.
And this is priming you to snapover these minor frustrations.
(05:03):
Then our prefrontal cortexright, that's the part of the
brain that's responsible for ourrational thinking, that impulse
control and also perspectivetaking, that area, this now
becomes much less active underthis long-term low-level stress,
(05:25):
that chronic stress, and thismeans that you have less
capacity to talk yourself downto almost like self-regulate
through self-talk and reframing.
And the hippocampus that's alsoaffected, right, because stress
can shrink the connections hereand that is impairing our
(05:45):
memory, making it so much harderto recall context in that
moment.
Now, why do these small thingsfeel so big?
You see, on a normal, let's say, rest day, your brain, it
really can start to filter inthese minor stressors without a
lot of trouble.
No-transcript.
(06:11):
This is now when we start tomove into what's called this
physiological readiness.
Right, your heart rate, yourblood pressure and stress
hormones are already elevated.
So the jump from calm to alarm,it's like that and it's
stronger.
You have a reduced buffer aswell.
So your brain has much lessemotional regulation capacity
(06:36):
left.
It's almost like imagine havingyour battery on 10% instead of
80% and triggering stacking alsotakes place.
Now this is when these smalllittle irritations can start to
accumulate, almost like in thebackground.
It's like traffic, a lot ofemails, maybe ongoing noise from
(06:58):
construction work, until a tinylittle additional stressor
flips you.
We also have what I alreadybriefly started to touch on is
the perception shift.
So that's when the amygdala,almost, like it, overweights the
importance of a really smallevent.
(07:18):
So that's why, like a spilleddrink, can feel like a complete
catastrophic failure.
And then, added to that, wehave the emotional
interpretation layer.
Remember everything in life, wehave an emotional reaction to
it.
Layer Remember everything inlife, we have an emotional
(07:39):
reaction to it.
And then we sometimes form anopinion around that reaction and
how it made us feel.
Because when we look atpsychological research as well,
it's showing us that when ourbrain is tired and when it's
stressed, these cognitivedistortions are much likely,
much more likely.
And then we start tocatastrophizing and that's when
(08:00):
we interpret the event as farworse than what it actually is.
This ruins everything.
Can you relate?
I absolutely have had momentslike that where something is
just you know we're cookingdinner and then there's just
that not enough garlic to add tothe dinner, and then it's like,
why is there not enough garlic?
It's just such a small issue,we can improvise.
(08:22):
So this is when we have alsothat personalization feeling.
It's all about me, I am failingagain, I am doing everything
wrong again.
I mean, for me personally, itfeels like I'm slipping into
this victim state, and we've allhad that all or nothing
(08:44):
thinking right.
It's almost like we see the dayas just being bad because of
one small failure or mishap.
You see, all these mentalfilters, they magnify the
emotional impact of whatotherwise would have been just
the inconvenience that we canjust brush off our shoulder.
(09:04):
Now, that's understanding theissue.
But how do we start to break thecycle?
You see, the good news is thatthis can also be reversible with
the nervous system regulationand all this emotional
resilience training that welearn and we see, and this is
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something that I am verypassionate about in my work.
I mean, I teach this in myworkshops.
So what we want is we want thatparasympathetic activation.
We want practices like deepbreathing, meditation, slow
exhalations.
All of this signals safety toour nervous system.
And something that reallyhelped me is micro recovery
(09:50):
breaks, short pauses throughoutthe day to reset, instead of
waiting for that burnout toforce you to reset.
One thing that I also love iscognitive reframing actively
questioning and reframing themeaning of small events and
(10:10):
especially when we start tooverreact, when we start to feel
that stress is building up.
That moment, that deep breathright, sometimes we have when we
feel angry.
We have at least I think it'sat least 90 seconds when we have
a trigger before we end upreacting.
So it's like we have this 90second buffer to start to
(10:35):
reframe, to take action, take adeep breath, break the pattern,
break state or get up, walk away.
But sometimes the surge of thatbuilt up energy, that built up
stress sometimes just feels likea damn wall that is breaking,
and so that's why for me, duringthe day for me it's not
(10:57):
negotiable I take regular breaksand I actually jump.
So I love to jump, shake myarms, shake my legs until I feel
tired and then I'll do boxbreathing, which for me is I
love box breathing and we canactually do that in the
meditation today.
So to just talk you through that, and also what I would call the
alpha brainwave state, where webreathe in the mouth and out
(11:18):
the nose 13 times, and for methis is an incredible ideal
reset when I start to feelirritated, when I start to feel
snappy, when I start to feel,wow, I'm starting to have these
negative thoughts.
I'm not saying kind things tomyself.
I'm not thinking kind things ofmy environment circumstances.
That, to me, is my indicationof I'm overstepping my own
(11:42):
boundary and limitation in termsof where my threshold is and
what I can and cannot handle.
So I've learned to really trulybecome more disciplined in
relationship to my signals andmy emotions and my thoughts as
well.
So let's do this.
Let's jump together now in ahealing meditation where we can
start to do regular exercises tohelp you to just gently
(12:09):
regulate and have thesedifferent pauses during the day,
instead of getting stuck inthat autopilot mode where we
sometimes just keep pushingthrough when we know we actually
shouldn't.
So when you are ready, I inviteyou to take a nice deep breath,
whether you're lying down andif you're walking, it might be
(12:32):
best to sit down somewhere, ifyou can or pause and then come
back to the podcast episode forthe meditation at another time,
and please don't drive whenyou're doing this.
All right, very good, let'sstart by taking a nice deep
breath.
Very good, and notice now asyou're breathing.
(13:07):
One of the most important thingsis when you feel stressed and
when you feel things arespiraling is to come back to
your breath.
Your breath is a very powerfulanchor and gateway and signal to
(13:27):
follow to come back into thebody, signal to follow to come
back into the body in a verygentle, gentle way and notice as
(13:57):
you're focusing on your breath,just as you're inhaling and
exhaling, just notice how yourbody is moving, notice your
heartbeat Is your heartbeat fastor slow?
(14:28):
And notice.
Just notice how does your bodyfeel.
Maybe it's tense, maybe itfeels unable to fully relax,
(15:01):
finding yourself now allowingyour shoulders to just drop,
dropping more into the surfacebeneath you, or, if you're
sitting down, just let yourshoulders drop and, as they do,
just opening your jaw just alittle bit, just relaxing your
jaw, and notice as you do that,how your thought starts to quiet
(15:23):
down.
And notice and notice whereveryour body feels unable to relax.
It could maybe be in your legs,stomach, maybe it's your mind.
(15:58):
Notice where in your body, wheredo you feel restless, where do
you feel all the stress hasaccumulated, and just shift your
(16:30):
awareness to that area of yourbody now and notice as you do.
Is there maybe a color thatcomes forward, a message, maybe
(17:06):
an image, as you're findingyourself, building awareness
around this stress?
I invite you to find yourself inan open space, almost like
starting to step into a forest,and there's a beautiful stream,
(17:26):
a gentle stream, in that forestand I invite you to go and sit
there on that, on the sandbankthere next to the little stream,
(17:50):
and looking at the water,seeing how it's just gently
running past, always moving it'snever still and as you're
(18:19):
noticing that beautiful streamand as you notice that stream,
here and there are leavesfalling in it and then just
seeing that leaf running alongthe water, going down, down down
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the stream, very gently, veryeffortlessly and notice now
whatever it is that you'refeeling, allow those sensations
(19:02):
to be there and lying down nextto the stream so that you're
lying parallel to the stream andas you can hear the water
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gently running next to you,finding yourself just like
putting one hand in the stream,feeling the coolness of the
water on your hand and notice asyou do feel the stress from
(19:51):
your body moving through yourarm into that stream and feel
how that little stream that'sforever moving is taking away
that stress.
(20:18):
It's like your emotions becomethe leaves that fall here and
there in the stream and watchingthe leaves and the emotions
just gently drift away, down,down, down, down down the stream
, and as you are looking at thestream and you have awareness,
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you hear it, remembering now, inthat moment, that you are not
alone, that life is always inconstant movement, just like
that stream, and what that alsomeans is for you to be reminded
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that emotions are also alwaysmoving and changing.
And even though things arealways moving, it doesn't mean
that we always have to be on themove.
(21:27):
That, just as you are now there, lying there next to that
stream, resting, catching yourbreath, that we can stop, that
(21:47):
we can stop and we can come backto our breath, one breath at a
time, one sensation at a time,one thought at a time.
(22:09):
If you wish to entertain, Ithought and just noticing
yourself focusing on the soundof that stream, how the water is
just trickling ever so gentlynext to you, finding your body,
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feeling the gentleness, almostcopying that gentle flow of that
little stream, rinsing out andreleasing any built up stress in
your body.
Wherever you wish the focus tobe, bring your awareness there
(23:03):
and let that stream gentlyrelease that stress.
Feel how it's just draining outof your body into the stream,
down, down, down, down, downdown that stream, and noticing
(23:23):
as it does.
It's like there's there's spaceopening up and it's a beautiful
(23:50):
kind of space.
It's a peaceful space, a spacewhere you's a peaceful space, a
space where you can feelpeaceful and safe, where you can
just allow yourself just toexpand into that, a place where
(24:11):
you can just breathe, and aplace where you can just breathe
and a place where you can justbe Allowing the stream to do the
work for you.
It's a reminder that we cansometimes just stop and catch
(24:38):
our breath, come back within andnotice the peacefulness that
you feel, how gentle yourbreathing is and your body
(25:06):
feeling at ease, fully supportedby the surface beneath it and,
with this beautiful place andspace that you are in, I invite
(25:29):
you to gently bring this backwith you in the here and now.
(25:53):
Notice the surface beneath yourbody, notice your breath and, if
you ever feel you need to, youcan use this as a rest.
Rest and stop stopping place.
It's like a little sanctuarythat you can go to.
You can change it in whateverway you want.
(26:13):
It's like a little sanctuarythat you can go to.
You can change it in whateverway you want, but have this
sanctuary that you can take withyou wherever you are, a
(26:35):
sanctuary that you can connectto whenever you need it.
Gently start to come back moreand more and, when you feel
ready, giving yourself a nicebig stretch and gently come back
.
Well done, and gently come back.
(27:00):
Well done, well done.
Thank you so much for beinghere with me until the very end.
Remember you're not alone.
You are healing one step at atime and one breath at a time,
and the affirmation for today isI am worthy of stopping and
(27:21):
resting.
So if this episode touched you,then please share it with
someone and also maybe on theirhealing journey, and, as always,
breathe deep, listen within andstay gently, curious.
And until our next podcastepisode.
I love you guys.
Big hugs to you.
(27:41):
Be the light that you are.
Bye everyone.
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