June 21, 2023 • 31 mins
In this insightful episode of the Heal Your Roots Podcast, we have the privilege of hosting Gabrielle Larin, LMFT, a dynamic new addition to the Heal Your Roots Wellness team. Gabrielle shares her remarkable journey to becoming a therapist, beginning from her own experiences with therapy as a teenager.
We dive deep into the nuances of celebrating small successes, a philosophy that Gabrielle carries through her practice. As she takes us through her expansive career, she highlights her expertise in various therapy types, with a particular focus on the benefits and challenges of family-based and mobile therapy.
A key theme of our conversation is adaptability - how it plays a crucial role in managing a family's mental health and why it's essential to stay nimble in the face of crisis. Gabrielle emphasizes the importance of taking small, consistent steps toward progress, and how celebrating small wins can lead to lasting change.
We touch on the delicate balance between positive and negative aspects in therapy, and how being prepared for the worst-case scenario can help us stay resilient. Gabrielle also brings her unique perspective on the role of cultural identity in therapy, sharing her personal experiences of working with clients from Hispanic and Eastern European backgrounds, and those who struggle with cultural adjustment.
With a special focus on her work with the LGBTQIA+ community, Gabrielle shares her commitment to making therapy a safe, comfortable space for all. She stresses that being open to different cultures not only helps clients feel more comfortable, but also enriches the therapy experience as a whole.
Gabrielle candidly discusses the importance of therapists 'walking the talk' and practicing what they preach. We explore the intricacies of working with clients from diverse cultural backgrounds and various mental health diagnoses, and how being intentional and asking the right questions can enhance the therapeutic process.
Our discussion wraps up with a contemplation of the pros and cons of living within the same culture and the significance of understanding the 'why' behind our mental health struggles. Gabrielle leaves us with the valuable takeaway that awareness is the biggest first step, and trusting the process is a cornerstone of therapeutic progress.
Join us for this enlightening episode as we delve into the heart of therapy with Gabrielle Larin, and explore how small victories, cultural understanding, and a commitment to authenticity can transform mental health journeys.
Check out the rest of the Heal Your Roots Podcast episodes at our website.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Ah celebrate those smallsuccesses because if we don't
(00:03):
celebrate the small successes,then we're just setting
ourselves up for failure.
Hi, I'm Kira Yakubov, LicensedMarriage and Family Therapist
and Founder of Heal Your RootsWellness practice. Every
episode, we talk with aprofessional from the mental
(00:24):
health field to learn more abouttheir approaches and
specialties, and also theirjourney of becoming a therapist.
In this podcast, we'll uncover adeeper look at the world of
therapy from new perspectives.
You'll meet the therapist ofHeal Your Roots Wellness
practice, and trusted colleaguesfrom the community tackling
mental well being or your go toNetwork for practical and
professional insight in mentalhealth. Subscribe for new
(00:46):
episode releases every otherWednesday.
Come excited for today'sepisode, our guest is Gabrielle
Larin, Licensed Marriage andFamily Therapist and one of our
newest therapists that Heal YourRoots Wellness. Gabby, so nice
(01:07):
to have you on today.
Thank you. It's great to behere.
So first thing we always startwith is asking the therapists
you know, how did you become atherapist? What made you get
into the field? And if you cankind of share a little bit of
your backstoryPart of my personal life, I
actually went to therapy fromage 15 to 18. And I experienced
so much growth through therapy.
(01:34):
And I realized that I wanted tohelp others grow in similar
ways.
That's awesome. So that'sinteresting that it sounds like
your parents, I wanted toinitially say they allowed you
go to therapy. That's my owncultural background, saying
that, but it sounds like yourfamily encouraged that for you.
And were were supportive of yougoing to therapy?
(01:56):
Oh, yeah, they, it's funny, bothme and my sister are both
working in therapy. She's asocial worker. And we both kind
of grew up in this field. Andit's been very open about, you
know, going to therapy andtalking about therapy. And you
know, as you're saying thecultural aspects, my cultural
(02:17):
background, you don't reallytalk about it, you know, swept
sweep it under the rug type ofthing. But you know, therapy is
where you talk about things. Soit was very helpful to have that
space to be open.
Awesome. Yeah, the culturalaspects definitely has a huge
influence and impact on how wekind of view ourselves and
(02:37):
feelings and where we feel safeto share a lot of that stuff.
Yeah. And that's where I want tobe that safe space for people.
Yeah. And so what made you pickparticularly Marriage and Family
Therapy as a focus?
I actually, all the classes thatI took in undergrad in college,
I really loved human sexuality.
That was my favorite. And one ofmy other classes was, I can't
(03:01):
remember what it was called. Butit was something about
philosophy and love. And Ilearned a lot in that class. And
it was a place that you couldreally talk about things that I
had never talked about before,especially in a classroom
environment. It wasn't really,it was almost like taboo to talk
about. So I did like thatagainst kind of space to talk
(03:25):
about those things. And thatstarted my attraction towards
it.
And so for the listeners, weactually met in grad school, in
our Marriage and Family courses.
And I think we actually hadhuman sexuality together in grad
school, which was a funny class.
Yeah, but that was like beforewe kind of talked to each other
(03:45):
until the marriage and familyspecific courses.
Right. Right. Yeah, it's, I liketalking about things that like I
was saying are kind of taboo,and you're not really supposed
to, quote talk. You know, thosetypes of things. It's not
appropriate, again, quotes. Ilike talking about those things.
Yeah. And so what was some ofyour experience out of grad
(04:08):
school, like once you startedworking and working with whether
it was like individuals orcouples or families that kind of
got you started with thatprocess?
I have a wide variety ofdifferent types of jobs that I
had, I worked in mobile therapy,alternative high school, family
based therapy, chemicaldependency unit, so basically a
(04:32):
rehab at a psychiatric hospitaloutpatient therapy with children
and teenagers, and individualtherapy with adults. So kind of
all over the place.
And so what was kind of the Idon't want to say favorite,
well, maybe favorite but like,what you kind of took from all
those things that made you kindof settle into what you want to
(04:55):
focus on now, which we'll touchon a little bit
because I do have such a widevariety of background and
experience, I got to really findout what I enjoyed the most and
what I feel so passionate about.
And I like to work withteenagers and young adults with
(05:17):
depression and anxiety and lowself esteem. That's kind of my,
I guess, like you're saying,favorite, it is my favorite to
work with. I like to work withall types of people and all
groups of people. But those arekind of my specialty.
And so I know you also when youmentioned, like the mobile
therapy and family basedtherapy, like, that's pretty
(05:39):
tough work. I mean, all of yourexperiences seem like all over
the board, but really intensework, and so different from one
another. What was that familytherapy like? having everybody
in the roomfamily, family based therapy is
really intense, it's what familybased therapy is, it's a step
under, when a parent is kind oflike I've had enough, I really
(06:05):
need a break, I'm thinking ofeither putting this kid in
inpatient, or in respite orresidential, pretty much just
removing from the home. Andfamily base is the kind of last
straw of seeing like Will thiswork. So it's very intensive,
very intentional in you know,you talk about things head on.
(06:29):
So that it was intense. I didthat for about two years. And
then I started being like,alright, this is a lot, maybe I
should take a little step back.
But I did love it. Because itwas intense. For that time, I
loved working with the familieswho, you know, were needing that
(06:50):
extra help and extra support, Iliked to see the differences.
It's also in an eight monthperiod. So it's long enough, but
it is pretty short. In the longrun, you have to do a lot. And I
did like seeing the changes fromthe beginning to the end, you
(07:11):
could you could really see adifference. And that felt nice
to be a part of making thatdifference.
Yeah, and I mean, family based,it's like, it sounds super
intense. But just thinking aboutall those different
personalities in the room andlike meeting a family while
they're in crisis, basically,and trying to like, alright, we
have to work this out, likeright now, or pretty soon, or
(07:31):
something severe or big is gonnahappen. And I'm wondering how
how was that for you to see allthese different perspectives and
like generations kind of workingthrough each other, plus the
layer of like, culture on top ofthat, I'm sure there was
different cultures that camethrough with the families as
well.
Right, no two people are thesame. So it was it's kind of
(07:54):
exciting to see different peopleinteract different types of
people interacting, whetherwithin that one family or within
different families, it's kind oflike you have to mold to the
people that you're in front of,you have to kind of change your
outlook, but how you areworking, you have to kind of
(08:17):
help them as they need to behelped, not how you want to help
you have to meet them where theyare at. And it's a pretty quick
adjustment that has to happen.
But if you are in that mindset,you kind of just like have to
figure it out. And it was veryhelpful for me to go through
that to be able to feel morecompetent within myself as a
(08:41):
therapist.
Sure. I mean, it sounds like hehas to be super adaptable. And
on your feet. Like I thinksometimes people think that we
have like this whole plan laidout and sometimes we do and then
we show up the session. It'slike no, that shit's right out
the window. Yeah, you got to besuper present and figure out
(09:02):
like what is occurring right infront of you, and like managing
all of this at once.
Right.
It's a lot. I imagine thatdefinitely helped, like,
confidence wise, especiallystarting out as a, like, an
early on therapist too.
Yeah, it was helpful and youknow, that Imposter Syndrome
still kicks in sometimes, butyou know, if i i for myself for
(09:25):
a self esteem as we're talkingabout, you know, I have to tell
myself the if I can handle thatI can handle this, you know?
Absolutely. I feel like you'veyou've gone through the worst,
not the worst, but the mostintense, that everything else
kind of seems a little biteasier and more manageable for
sure. And so I know youmentioned that the depression
anxiety and really working onself esteem with teens and young
(09:47):
adults is like really like yoursweet spot where you really like
to focus in on and enjoy workingwith. Is there something in
particular about that age groupor that kind of presenting issue
that feels really rewardingthat has drawn When, in terms of
rewarding, even, as I said, withthe family base, it's great to
see the before and after I willwork with, with people who, in
the past, you know, I'm thinkingof that specific example, this
(10:12):
one kid had suicidal ideation,he was just down in the dumps,
he felt terrible about himself,just no self worth at all. And
I'm a huge fan of baby steps,slow and steady. So you can't
rush into that you can't makesomeone feel better about
themselves just by telling themgood things. So it's like a slow
(10:33):
and steady process to help thembelieve it about themselves. And
seeing people and seeing thiskid feel slowly, better about
himself and seeing his selfworth and, and seeing his
internal struggle, start todecrease. It's just so
(10:55):
rewarding. And I feel proud ofthem, when they can do it
themselves. And it's even betterwhen they feel proud of
themselves to be able to do it.
Because it doesn't matter if whoam I, it doesn't matter if I'm
proud of them. It matters ifthey are because they're the
ones who are coming here to getthat help. And once they can
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feel proud of themselves for thechanges, and that's where the
real work happens.
That's beautiful. And it's likeso life changing, right? Like,
even if we think about theselittle tiny baby steps, they may
not seem like anything huge, orthat impactful, but when we add
it up, and with that momentumover time, and then you see this
person, their body language, howthey talk about themselves, how
(11:39):
they interact and relationships,how that changes, it is pretty
rewarding and amazing to see.
Yes, and you have to show themthose baby steps. Because a lot
of times people won't likeyou're saying you can't see it
when you're in it. And it'seasier to see, you know,
remember yourself six months agoversus today. So I like to I'm
(12:02):
big on praising and kind of likeinspiring and showing the
positive side. Because ofcourse, you have to be in the
pain, you have to be in thesadness and the anger and the
frustration and all of thosenegative emotions, let yourself
feel that as well as remindingyourself that, you know, you
have to feel those positives,too. And you have to celebrate
(12:24):
those small successes. Becauseif we don't celebrate the small
successes, then we're we're justsetting ourselves up for
failure.
I love that. It's balancing thetwo, right? Because it's always
easy to think of the worst casescenario or how horrible things
are. And it's like, okay, thatcan be true and is true. But
there's this whole whole otherside here that's positive that
(12:45):
we can be grateful for that isalso pretty accurate and true
happening right now. So itsounds like you're the biggest
cheerleader in the room. And youreally help them like see that
perspective, in addition to, youknow, the shitty things that are
coming up and our reality aswell
Right, you can't just focus onthe positives, because that's
not reality. That's not reallife, you have to feel the pain.
(13:07):
And I feel like, I don't know ifyou see in that movie, I worked
with kids most recently. So thatmovie, oh my goodness, the
moment the emotion, the Pixarmovie,
I know what you're talkingabout. I can't think of the name
Inside Out! Inside Out.
It's so good. But it's like youhave to feel the sadness in
(13:28):
order to appreciate thehappiness. And I am a big fan of
that. Because you have to feelthose negative emotions. You
have to allow yourself toexperience those things. You
can't hide them, you can't pushthem down. You can't internalize
them. You have to let yourselfget through that so that you can
get to the other side ofappreciating the positives in
(13:48):
your life.
Absolutely. I love thesecartoons and movies now coming
out to like, really personifythis stuff for kids. Like I love
watching Pixar movies. I'm like,there's so many rules and values
going on in these things that Iwish that we had when we were
kids instead of like the Disneyones where it was like not the
best messages butThe prince has to save you. I
(14:10):
can save myself!So I know that a big part of
your identity and how you showup in the room or just like how
you are with clients is yourbackground. Would you mind
sharing a little bit about yourcultural background?
My parents are born and raisedin Dominican Republic. So I
(14:30):
consider myself to be DominicanAmerican. I speak Spanish
although I don't in sessions,and I go to Dominican Republic
to visit my family at least oncea year when I was little I would
go for five weeks at a time. ButOh wow,
it's changed. As I've gottenolder the time has gotten less
and less. But so my culture isvery Dominican. I'm very family
(14:54):
oriented. I we're the onlypeople that are in this country.
So I'm Very familiar andcomfortable and connected to
Hispanic culture, specificallyDominican Republic, but I can
connect with people of otherHispanic backgrounds as well.
And so I think that's so hugeand such an advantage, just in
(15:17):
terms of being like aprofessional therapist, because
you get to see such a differentperspective of different
cultures and like, not even justlike the individualistic culture
of American kind of background,but like the collective culture,
which I'm assuming is a lot ofHispanic culture. And like, I
can relate to that having likethe Eastern European background,
that also being a huge thing.
And so I'm wondering, are thereany bits that like, would stand
(15:39):
out or super relatable forclients, for you that maybe are
Hispanic, and maybe an American,like, just a white American
therapist may not understand,right? Because I get this a lot
when I have Eastern Europeanclients, like, you just get it.
For certain things,I would say a big one is that
white American, maybe will belike, "I'm eighteen, so I'm an
(16:04):
adult." And Hispanics are like,"No, you're not. You have to
listen to your parents." When Iremember when my friends would
tell me like, "Oh, yeah, I coulddo whatever I want. I'm 18." I'm
like, "What? No, you can't, Ihave to listen to my parents,"
like, that's just part of theculture is that, you know, your
parents are the authority, soyou have to respect them and
(16:25):
kind of obey them and listen towhat they're saying. They know
more, they're more wise. Sothat's a big one.
That's really funny, that'sreally similar too. I remember,
like, in high school, and like,kids would be doing things like
as soon as I'm 18, or 21,parents, like I don't know who
you think you are. Just cause webrought you here doesn't mean
(16:48):
shit.
RightYou're still a baby, unless you
get married and have a husband,you are a child. I was like,
damn, this sucks. Like,i know! You have to adjust to
you know, being around allfriends who, because that was
another struggle was, you know,my friends could stay out later.
And I would have to like myfriends would be hanging on, I
would have to leave whereeveryone was and enjoying
(17:10):
themselves and be like, Oh, mycurfew, I gotta go home. So that
was you know, that was rough.
But that in that way I can kindof understand and empathize with
a lot of, especially teens, oreven young adults that are going
through that. Because, you know,sometimes, I'm 33. And I still
have to deal with thatsometimes.
You still have a curfew. That'sso funny. That's so true,
(17:38):
though. And I think that'sreally important for clients who
have different backgrounds, isit adds this layer of like,
relatability. And like, you justget it, you know, even though
because there's so manydifferent Hispanic cultures,
right, but even just having thatbackground and being like, you
know, what, you just kind of getit, there's a certain level that
you understand that I don't haveto necessarily fully explain or
(17:59):
teach you, that I think is sucha relief to clients that it's
like, Alright, you're part ofthis, like community, you get
it, I can just share with you,we can laugh about some of it.
Yes, it may be unhealthy, butlike, it's kind of part of what
we do and how we are. So like,it's okay, it's not
pathologized.
Right.
So that's awesome. So for thelisteners out there, Gabby gets
(18:22):
it, I get it, I get it. And youknow, even with other cultures,
I love to learn, I love to learnabout other cultures. And maybe
if I don't fully get it, explainit to me, tell me about that.
And I feel like that's a wholenother way of helping someone
because it's a two way street. Ifeel like therapy is a
(18:42):
relationship. It's not just mehelping the client, or, you
know, learning about the client,but the client is doing the same
with me, you know, teaching medifferent things, and maybe
something that I learned in asession I can use to help
someone else as well.
Absolutely. So it's interesting,right, like being having that
(19:02):
relatability. But just knowingthat you're open to different
cultures, allows people to alsofeel comfortable and be like, I
can share this with you, and youwon't judge me in the same way.
Or you're more open to hearingwhat this might be like, in my
experience. And I think that ispretty healing for clients to
explain it. And also here, like,I never realized that this was
(19:23):
like, a core feature of myidentity or my culture until now
I'm explaining it to somebodythat may not be a part of it.
And it's like, either I reallyliked this about it, or like,
Damn, that's kind of a littlefucked up. The way I was raised
the way that we think aboutcertain things.
Yeah, I definitely agree withthat. I feel like opening that
kind of opens your eyes to awhole new way of thinking.
(19:44):
Yeah. And so I know that youalso have another like soft spot
or another specialty that youlike to work with LGBTQIA+
community as well. Can you kindof share a little bit about that
experience or kind of whatthat's been like for you to work
with individuals from thatcommunity,
Yes, so, I have always been anally, I've always been a huge
(20:07):
advocate. And within workingthrough therapy with people in
the community, I think people. Idon't wanna like toot my own
horn, but I feel like peoplefeel comfortable Toot it!
Toot toot! I know if people feelcomfortable in being open and
(20:29):
honest with me, I mean, I tryreally hard to help people feel
safe and comfortable with me.
And I hope to help people findtheir journey, and whether
that's finding a label thatworks for you, or being okay
with not having one, I wouldlove to be helpful within that
(20:51):
journey of finding yourself andbeing okay with maybe it changes
from one day to the next, or younever finding that. I just want
to be supportive. And I reallywant to help people feel okay
with who they are.
And so it definitely comes off,right? I mean, I know you. So
(21:15):
it, it helps having that featureof like being in class with you.
And also like, see, so in gradschool, we had these role plays,
right, where we record ourselvesin a session. And I remember
like, watching you, you feel socomfortable, like it was, it
really felt like just talking toanother person. Right. So I
think you do a really great jobof just creating that safe,
(21:35):
comfortable space to just share,whatever is coming up for
somebody that might be reallyscary to share to a family
member or a friend, or even justsaying it out loud. And so I
think, especially for people,whether they're questioning or
unsure, or they are sure, andthey are nervous to tell other
people about their sexuality ortheir gender, like having a
therapist like you that is soopen and honest and welcoming.
(21:58):
And such a huge cheerleader inthat way, I think is so
impactful for people to acceptthat about themselves and feel
more safe and comfortable toshare more of themselves in the
world toowell, thanks. Toot toot for me
all the tootsNo, I do appreciate that,
because I, you know, part ofthat building that self esteem
(22:22):
is that you you want to feelconfident within yourself, and
you want to feel like not onlyare clients feeling empowered
and confident within themselves,but I feel like as therapists,
we also have to feel empoweredand confident within ourselves
in order to help our clients.
(22:46):
Yeah, I mean, right, it's partof like, you got to talk the
talk or walk that what is thesaying, walk the walk,
it's so true, you do, I alwayswould tell in my outpatient job,
I would always say, you know, wehave to practice what you
preach. And if you want a clientto be open and honest, if you
want, you know, family memberswithin session to talk to each
(23:07):
other open, and honestly, youknow, whatever you want out of
the clients, you have to bewilling to do the same thing.
And I think that's a huge partof that human connection with a
therapist is the relationship isso important for like any
therapeutic work to happen isthat if you feel like your
(23:28):
therapist is vulnerable or openor also expresses the similar
things that they want to see inyou, or helping you achieve,
like, you want to be able tofeel that in a therapist too
exactly why would you open up tosomebody if they're not doing
it.
Yeah. Or if they're judgy, or ifthey come off with likes closed
off body language, and they'reasking you to be very open and
(23:48):
vulnerable. Like, this doesn'tcheck it out.
Right? I wouldn'tI wouldn't either. And so have
you worked with clients wherethey've had, you know, diverse
cultural backgrounds, maybediverse, like sexuality, or
sexual orientations, dealingwith anxiety, depression, like
all of the layers together, andhelping them kind of as they're
(24:09):
all intertwined, take thosepieces out and see how they
overlap with each other tooYes, it actually is definitely a
challenge to have, you know,different cultures, different
identities, different mentalhealth diagnoses all in one
because like, you're saying, youkind of have to like take them
apart and either work on one byone or find a common ground to
(24:34):
help them through all together.
So, like I was even sayingbefore, you kind of have to mold
to the moment you have to adjustin that moment, you know, maybe
two things are connecting, ormaybe nothing is connecting. Or
maybe there's one thing that canhelp with everything. You kind
(24:56):
of have to figure that out inthat moment of or ask them I
feel like a lot of times peopleassume things. And when we are
intentional and asking theclient, I think that's very
important, because not only areyou getting more information and
more background, but alsothey're feeling heard. A lot of
(25:16):
times, you know, if you're justassuming something, and it's
completely wrong, the client'slike, You're not listening to
me, you don't know what I mean,you know what I'm talking about.
So if you're asking them, evenif you think it's a silly
question, even if you think it'sso obvious, if you ask, then
maybe that could make thedifference between how they are
(25:37):
feelingAbsolutely. Right. And I think
so this is like the the pros andcons of being within the same
culture, or maybe the same, likegender identity or sexual
identity that because there'sthis level of understanding and
relatability, sometimes we doassume that it's a similar
experience without recognizingthat every person is still
unique, and every experiencethat they've had, and every
(25:57):
family member and relationshipand, you know, school and job
interaction that they've had isdifferent than the one that
you've had. And so I think it isa really important, like you're
saying is to take the time tolearn and make sure that just
because we're similar in theseways, there's so many more
differences as well.
Yeah. Like I was saying, no twopeople are the same. You could
(26:20):
be growing up the exact sameway. Twins are different. Yeah,
everybody is different. There's,there's similarities. But you
know, it's not synonymous.
Yeah. Maybe in a paralleluniverse, but even that's
different. And so I know we'recoming close to the end. Is
there anything that you reallywant the listeners or future
(26:41):
clients to know or anything ingeneral that you really like to
share with clients, whetherthat's like specific homework or
like approaches that you like touse with them?
I love to help clientsunderstand. So I'm a big why
person, you know, somebody willsay something, and I'll be like,
(27:02):
why? What's what's behind it?
Because I feel like in order tomake changes, you have to
understand what it actually isthat's happening, you can't do
anything about it, if you don'tunderstand it. So I will go back
to kind of like the origin offinding out what happened, what
are you feeling? Whether that'ssomething about the past, or
(27:23):
whether that's an emotion behindthe behavior, just why? What's
going on? So once we pinpointthat, then we can make the
changes to move forward. I'm aslow and steady process, and I
think that that's helpful fornot only changes, but to make
(27:44):
the person feel comfortable inmaking those changes. And to
make them long lasting.
That's the I think that's two ofthe most important parts, right
is comfortable in making thosechanges. But it being long
lasting,I was gonna say, you know, if
you make if you make a changequickly, it's going okay, yeah,
you'll make that change. Butit's gonna only happen for like
a month or, you know, maybe ayear. But if you do a slow and
(28:06):
steady process, and you reallyget into the nitty gritty, and
you get into finding out what'sgoing on, why is this happening,
and you really take the time tomake those changes, they will be
more impactful and moreingrained, to make them more
long lasting for the future.
(28:29):
Absolutely. I totally agree. AndI wonder if that is part of our
training that we had like thatpsychodynamic a little bit is
like really understanding like,what is simmering under the
surface that is kind ofsubconsciously influencing these
decisions, right? Because havingthat awareness is so huge,
that's like, the biggest firststep, and then practicing it or
(28:51):
trying it, right. Like how manytimes do we say we want to do
something after we realize whywe're doing it. And it takes so
long, until we learn theconsequences, or the rewards
attached to it, and reallyimplemented over and over again,
feel the pain of like thegrowing pains, right, of making
these long lasting changes. So Ilove that you really, like take
(29:13):
the slow and steady approach.
And you know, sometimes that canbe frustrating for therapists
and or clients, right, because alot of time clients want to see
things change really fast,because a they're probably in
pain, or they're suffering, orthey've been dealing with this
for a long time. Or they mayjust be impatient, right? And so
it's also kind of getting themon the same page of recognizing
that like, it's okay that ittakes longer, it will probably
(29:36):
mean that it will last longertoo.
Right. We are loving the instantgratification, and I will
definitely as I will help findthe quick band aids in the
meantime of working on the coreissue.
So it's the now and later.
(29:58):
Yeah, because you know, likeyou're saying, you know, the
impatient, like, I can getimpatient in that way as well,
you know, sometimes you you wantto see some positive changes, so
I get it. So you got to you gotto work on that balance, like we
were saying before, there'sdefinitely a balance with it.
For sure. And trusting theprocess. As much as like kind of
hate that, it is always trustingthe process.
(30:20):
So cliche,Right. Like, EMDR, you have to
trust the process with that,like,
it's always it'll get like worsebefore it gets better. But you
know, you got to trust theprocess.
Mm hmm.
I always like like to tellclients, it's kind of like those
acne commercials where like, itgets worse before it gets
(30:41):
better. It's like, everythingcomes out until it starts to
calm down. And that is kind ofhow therapy is right. Like, once
you start peeling all theselayers off, everything comes out
and you kind of feel worse for alittle bit because you're kind
of hit in the face with all ofthese truths and realities. And
then it's like, Alright, nowthat I'm accepting it, now that
I'm recognizing where and whyit's coming from. It's okay. We
(31:03):
can write being kind of movethrough this, and now I'm past
this and now I'm over the hump alittle bit more.
Right. You have to climb themountain to get to the other
side.
We're full of one liners today.
And it was walk the talk. I wastongue tied with that.
Oh, yeah yeah yeah.
So Gabby, thank you so much forbeing on today. I was I'm glad
(31:25):
that we got to hear more of yourperspective and see your
personality for all the futurelisteners. You are accepting new
clients. And I'm really excitedthat you are a new member of
Heal Your Roots Wellness. Sothanks so much for being on.
Thank you so much for having me.
I appreciate it.
Absolutely.
Ah celebrate those smallsuccesses because if we don't
(00:03):
celebrate the small successes,then we're just setting
ourselves up for failure.
Hi, I'm Kira Yakubov, LicensedMarriage and Family Therapist
and Founder of Heal Your RootsWellness practice. Every
episode, we talk with aprofessional from the mental
(00:24):
health field to learn more abouttheir approaches and
specialties, and also theirjourney of becoming a therapist.
In this podcast, we'll uncover adeeper look at the world of
therapy from new perspectives.
You'll meet the therapist ofHeal Your Roots Wellness
practice, and trusted colleaguesfrom the community tackling
mental well being or your go toNetwork for practical and
professional insight in mentalhealth. Subscribe for new
(00:46):
episode releases every otherWednesday.
Come excited for today'sepisode, our guest is Gabrielle
Larin, Licensed Marriage andFamily Therapist and one of our
newest therapists that Heal YourRoots Wellness. Gabby, so nice
(01:07):
to have you on today.
Thank you. It's great to behere.
So first thing we always startwith is asking the therapists
you know, how did you become atherapist? What made you get
into the field? And if you cankind of share a little bit of
your backstoryPart of my personal life, I
actually went to therapy fromage 15 to 18. And I experienced
so much growth through therapy.
(01:34):
And I realized that I wanted tohelp others grow in similar
ways.
That's awesome. So that'sinteresting that it sounds like
your parents, I wanted toinitially say they allowed you
go to therapy. That's my owncultural background, saying
that, but it sounds like yourfamily encouraged that for you.
And were were supportive of yougoing to therapy?
(01:56):
Oh, yeah, they, it's funny, bothme and my sister are both
working in therapy. She's asocial worker. And we both kind
of grew up in this field. Andit's been very open about, you
know, going to therapy andtalking about therapy. And you
know, as you're saying thecultural aspects, my cultural
(02:17):
background, you don't reallytalk about it, you know, swept
sweep it under the rug type ofthing. But you know, therapy is
where you talk about things. Soit was very helpful to have that
space to be open.
Awesome. Yeah, the culturalaspects definitely has a huge
influence and impact on how wekind of view ourselves and
(02:37):
feelings and where we feel safeto share a lot of that stuff.
Yeah. And that's where I want tobe that safe space for people.
Yeah. And so what made you pickparticularly Marriage and Family
Therapy as a focus?
I actually, all the classes thatI took in undergrad in college,
I really loved human sexuality.
That was my favorite. And one ofmy other classes was, I can't
(03:01):
remember what it was called. Butit was something about
philosophy and love. And Ilearned a lot in that class. And
it was a place that you couldreally talk about things that I
had never talked about before,especially in a classroom
environment. It wasn't really,it was almost like taboo to talk
about. So I did like thatagainst kind of space to talk
(03:25):
about those things. And thatstarted my attraction towards
it.
And so for the listeners, weactually met in grad school, in
our Marriage and Family courses.
And I think we actually hadhuman sexuality together in grad
school, which was a funny class.
Yeah, but that was like beforewe kind of talked to each other
(03:45):
until the marriage and familyspecific courses.
Right. Right. Yeah, it's, I liketalking about things that like I
was saying are kind of taboo,and you're not really supposed
to, quote talk. You know, thosetypes of things. It's not
appropriate, again, quotes. Ilike talking about those things.
Yeah. And so what was some ofyour experience out of grad
(04:08):
school, like once you startedworking and working with whether
it was like individuals orcouples or families that kind of
got you started with thatprocess?
I have a wide variety ofdifferent types of jobs that I
had, I worked in mobile therapy,alternative high school, family
based therapy, chemicaldependency unit, so basically a
(04:32):
rehab at a psychiatric hospitaloutpatient therapy with children
and teenagers, and individualtherapy with adults. So kind of
all over the place.
And so what was kind of the Idon't want to say favorite,
well, maybe favorite but like,what you kind of took from all
those things that made you kindof settle into what you want to
(04:55):
focus on now, which we'll touchon a little bit
because I do have such a widevariety of background and
experience, I got to really findout what I enjoyed the most and
what I feel so passionate about.
And I like to work withteenagers and young adults with
(05:17):
depression and anxiety and lowself esteem. That's kind of my,
I guess, like you're saying,favorite, it is my favorite to
work with. I like to work withall types of people and all
groups of people. But those arekind of my specialty.
And so I know you also when youmentioned, like the mobile
therapy and family basedtherapy, like, that's pretty
(05:39):
tough work. I mean, all of yourexperiences seem like all over
the board, but really intensework, and so different from one
another. What was that familytherapy like? having everybody
in the roomfamily, family based therapy is
really intense, it's what familybased therapy is, it's a step
under, when a parent is kind oflike I've had enough, I really
(06:05):
need a break, I'm thinking ofeither putting this kid in
inpatient, or in respite orresidential, pretty much just
removing from the home. Andfamily base is the kind of last
straw of seeing like Will thiswork. So it's very intensive,
very intentional in you know,you talk about things head on.
(06:29):
So that it was intense. I didthat for about two years. And
then I started being like,alright, this is a lot, maybe I
should take a little step back.
But I did love it. Because itwas intense. For that time, I
loved working with the familieswho, you know, were needing that
(06:50):
extra help and extra support, Iliked to see the differences.
It's also in an eight monthperiod. So it's long enough, but
it is pretty short. In the longrun, you have to do a lot. And I
did like seeing the changes fromthe beginning to the end, you
(07:11):
could you could really see adifference. And that felt nice
to be a part of making thatdifference.
Yeah, and I mean, family based,it's like, it sounds super
intense. But just thinking aboutall those different
personalities in the room andlike meeting a family while
they're in crisis, basically,and trying to like, alright, we
have to work this out, likeright now, or pretty soon, or
(07:31):
something severe or big is gonnahappen. And I'm wondering how
how was that for you to see allthese different perspectives and
like generations kind of workingthrough each other, plus the
layer of like, culture on top ofthat, I'm sure there was
different cultures that camethrough with the families as
well.
Right, no two people are thesame. So it was it's kind of
(07:54):
exciting to see different peopleinteract different types of
people interacting, whetherwithin that one family or within
different families, it's kind oflike you have to mold to the
people that you're in front of,you have to kind of change your
outlook, but how you areworking, you have to kind of
(08:17):
help them as they need to behelped, not how you want to help
you have to meet them where theyare at. And it's a pretty quick
adjustment that has to happen.
But if you are in that mindset,you kind of just like have to
figure it out. And it was veryhelpful for me to go through
that to be able to feel morecompetent within myself as a
(08:41):
therapist.
Sure. I mean, it sounds like hehas to be super adaptable. And
on your feet. Like I thinksometimes people think that we
have like this whole plan laidout and sometimes we do and then
we show up the session. It'slike no, that shit's right out
the window. Yeah, you got to besuper present and figure out
(09:02):
like what is occurring right infront of you, and like managing
all of this at once.
Right.
It's a lot. I imagine thatdefinitely helped, like,
confidence wise, especiallystarting out as a, like, an
early on therapist too.
Yeah, it was helpful and youknow, that Imposter Syndrome
still kicks in sometimes, butyou know, if i i for myself for
(09:25):
a self esteem as we're talkingabout, you know, I have to tell
myself the if I can handle thatI can handle this, you know?
Absolutely. I feel like you'veyou've gone through the worst,
not the worst, but the mostintense, that everything else
kind of seems a little biteasier and more manageable for
sure. And so I know youmentioned that the depression
anxiety and really working onself esteem with teens and young
(09:47):
adults is like really like yoursweet spot where you really like
to focus in on and enjoy workingwith. Is there something in
particular about that age groupor that kind of presenting issue
that feels really rewardingthat has drawn When, in terms of
rewarding, even, as I said, withthe family base, it's great to
see the before and after I willwork with, with people who, in
the past, you know, I'm thinkingof that specific example, this
(10:12):
one kid had suicidal ideation,he was just down in the dumps,
he felt terrible about himself,just no self worth at all. And
I'm a huge fan of baby steps,slow and steady. So you can't
rush into that you can't makesomeone feel better about
themselves just by telling themgood things. So it's like a slow
(10:33):
and steady process to help thembelieve it about themselves. And
seeing people and seeing thiskid feel slowly, better about
himself and seeing his selfworth and, and seeing his
internal struggle, start todecrease. It's just so
(10:55):
rewarding. And I feel proud ofthem, when they can do it
themselves. And it's even betterwhen they feel proud of
themselves to be able to do it.
Because it doesn't matter if whoam I, it doesn't matter if I'm
proud of them. It matters ifthey are because they're the
ones who are coming here to getthat help. And once they can
(11:17):
feel proud of themselves for thechanges, and that's where the
real work happens.
That's beautiful. And it's likeso life changing, right? Like,
even if we think about theselittle tiny baby steps, they may
not seem like anything huge, orthat impactful, but when we add
it up, and with that momentumover time, and then you see this
person, their body language, howthey talk about themselves, how
(11:39):
they interact and relationships,how that changes, it is pretty
rewarding and amazing to see.
Yes, and you have to show themthose baby steps. Because a lot
of times people won't likeyou're saying you can't see it
when you're in it. And it'seasier to see, you know,
remember yourself six months agoversus today. So I like to I'm
(12:02):
big on praising and kind of likeinspiring and showing the
positive side. Because ofcourse, you have to be in the
pain, you have to be in thesadness and the anger and the
frustration and all of thosenegative emotions, let yourself
feel that as well as remindingyourself that, you know, you
have to feel those positives,too. And you have to celebrate
(12:24):
those small successes. Becauseif we don't celebrate the small
successes, then we're we're justsetting ourselves up for
failure.
I love that. It's balancing thetwo, right? Because it's always
easy to think of the worst casescenario or how horrible things
are. And it's like, okay, thatcan be true and is true. But
there's this whole whole otherside here that's positive that
(12:45):
we can be grateful for that isalso pretty accurate and true
happening right now. So itsounds like you're the biggest
cheerleader in the room. And youreally help them like see that
perspective, in addition to, youknow, the shitty things that are
coming up and our reality aswell
Right, you can't just focus onthe positives, because that's
not reality. That's not reallife, you have to feel the pain.
(13:07):
And I feel like, I don't know ifyou see in that movie, I worked
with kids most recently. So thatmovie, oh my goodness, the
moment the emotion, the Pixarmovie,
I know what you're talkingabout. I can't think of the name
Inside Out! Inside Out.
It's so good. But it's like youhave to feel the sadness in
(13:28):
order to appreciate thehappiness. And I am a big fan of
that. Because you have to feelthose negative emotions. You
have to allow yourself toexperience those things. You
can't hide them, you can't pushthem down. You can't internalize
them. You have to let yourselfget through that so that you can
get to the other side ofappreciating the positives in
(13:48):
your life.
Absolutely. I love thesecartoons and movies now coming
out to like, really personifythis stuff for kids. Like I love
watching Pixar movies. I'm like,there's so many rules and values
going on in these things that Iwish that we had when we were
kids instead of like the Disneyones where it was like not the
best messages butThe prince has to save you. I
(14:10):
can save myself!So I know that a big part of
your identity and how you showup in the room or just like how
you are with clients is yourbackground. Would you mind
sharing a little bit about yourcultural background?
My parents are born and raisedin Dominican Republic. So I
(14:30):
consider myself to be DominicanAmerican. I speak Spanish
although I don't in sessions,and I go to Dominican Republic
to visit my family at least oncea year when I was little I would
go for five weeks at a time. ButOh wow,
it's changed. As I've gottenolder the time has gotten less
and less. But so my culture isvery Dominican. I'm very family
(14:54):
oriented. I we're the onlypeople that are in this country.
So I'm Very familiar andcomfortable and connected to
Hispanic culture, specificallyDominican Republic, but I can
connect with people of otherHispanic backgrounds as well.
And so I think that's so hugeand such an advantage, just in
(15:17):
terms of being like aprofessional therapist, because
you get to see such a differentperspective of different
cultures and like, not even justlike the individualistic culture
of American kind of background,but like the collective culture,
which I'm assuming is a lot ofHispanic culture. And like, I
can relate to that having likethe Eastern European background,
that also being a huge thing.
And so I'm wondering, are thereany bits that like, would stand
(15:39):
out or super relatable forclients, for you that maybe are
Hispanic, and maybe an American,like, just a white American
therapist may not understand,right? Because I get this a lot
when I have Eastern Europeanclients, like, you just get it.
For certain things,I would say a big one is that
white American, maybe will belike, "I'm eighteen, so I'm an
(16:04):
adult." And Hispanics are like,"No, you're not. You have to
listen to your parents." When Iremember when my friends would
tell me like, "Oh, yeah, I coulddo whatever I want. I'm 18." I'm
like, "What? No, you can't, Ihave to listen to my parents,"
like, that's just part of theculture is that, you know, your
parents are the authority, soyou have to respect them and
(16:25):
kind of obey them and listen towhat they're saying. They know
more, they're more wise. Sothat's a big one.
That's really funny, that'sreally similar too. I remember,
like, in high school, and like,kids would be doing things like
as soon as I'm 18, or 21,parents, like I don't know who
you think you are. Just cause webrought you here doesn't mean
(16:48):
shit.
RightYou're still a baby, unless you
get married and have a husband,you are a child. I was like,
damn, this sucks. Like,i know! You have to adjust to
you know, being around allfriends who, because that was
another struggle was, you know,my friends could stay out later.
And I would have to like myfriends would be hanging on, I
would have to leave whereeveryone was and enjoying
(17:10):
themselves and be like, Oh, mycurfew, I gotta go home. So that
was you know, that was rough.
But that in that way I can kindof understand and empathize with
a lot of, especially teens, oreven young adults that are going
through that. Because, you know,sometimes, I'm 33. And I still
have to deal with thatsometimes.
You still have a curfew. That'sso funny. That's so true,
(17:38):
though. And I think that'sreally important for clients who
have different backgrounds, isit adds this layer of like,
relatability. And like, you justget it, you know, even though
because there's so manydifferent Hispanic cultures,
right, but even just having thatbackground and being like, you
know, what, you just kind of getit, there's a certain level that
you understand that I don't haveto necessarily fully explain or
(17:59):
teach you, that I think is sucha relief to clients that it's
like, Alright, you're part ofthis, like community, you get
it, I can just share with you,we can laugh about some of it.
Yes, it may be unhealthy, butlike, it's kind of part of what
we do and how we are. So like,it's okay, it's not
pathologized.
Right.
So that's awesome. So for thelisteners out there, Gabby gets
(18:22):
it, I get it, I get it. And youknow, even with other cultures,
I love to learn, I love to learnabout other cultures. And maybe
if I don't fully get it, explainit to me, tell me about that.
And I feel like that's a wholenother way of helping someone
because it's a two way street. Ifeel like therapy is a
(18:42):
relationship. It's not just mehelping the client, or, you
know, learning about the client,but the client is doing the same
with me, you know, teaching medifferent things, and maybe
something that I learned in asession I can use to help
someone else as well.
Absolutely. So it's interesting,right, like being having that
(19:02):
relatability. But just knowingthat you're open to different
cultures, allows people to alsofeel comfortable and be like, I
can share this with you, and youwon't judge me in the same way.
Or you're more open to hearingwhat this might be like, in my
experience. And I think that ispretty healing for clients to
explain it. And also here, like,I never realized that this was
(19:23):
like, a core feature of myidentity or my culture until now
I'm explaining it to somebodythat may not be a part of it.
And it's like, either I reallyliked this about it, or like,
Damn, that's kind of a littlefucked up. The way I was raised
the way that we think aboutcertain things.
Yeah, I definitely agree withthat. I feel like opening that
kind of opens your eyes to awhole new way of thinking.
(19:44):
Yeah. And so I know that youalso have another like soft spot
or another specialty that youlike to work with LGBTQIA+
community as well. Can you kindof share a little bit about that
experience or kind of whatthat's been like for you to work
with individuals from thatcommunity,
Yes, so, I have always been anally, I've always been a huge
(20:07):
advocate. And within workingthrough therapy with people in
the community, I think people. Idon't wanna like toot my own
horn, but I feel like peoplefeel comfortable Toot it!
Toot toot! I know if people feelcomfortable in being open and
(20:29):
honest with me, I mean, I tryreally hard to help people feel
safe and comfortable with me.
And I hope to help people findtheir journey, and whether
that's finding a label thatworks for you, or being okay
with not having one, I wouldlove to be helpful within that
(20:51):
journey of finding yourself andbeing okay with maybe it changes
from one day to the next, or younever finding that. I just want
to be supportive. And I reallywant to help people feel okay
with who they are.
And so it definitely comes off,right? I mean, I know you. So
(21:15):
it, it helps having that featureof like being in class with you.
And also like, see, so in gradschool, we had these role plays,
right, where we record ourselvesin a session. And I remember
like, watching you, you feel socomfortable, like it was, it
really felt like just talking toanother person. Right. So I
think you do a really great jobof just creating that safe,
(21:35):
comfortable space to just share,whatever is coming up for
somebody that might be reallyscary to share to a family
member or a friend, or even justsaying it out loud. And so I
think, especially for people,whether they're questioning or
unsure, or they are sure, andthey are nervous to tell other
people about their sexuality ortheir gender, like having a
therapist like you that is soopen and honest and welcoming.
(21:58):
And such a huge cheerleader inthat way, I think is so
impactful for people to acceptthat about themselves and feel
more safe and comfortable toshare more of themselves in the
world toowell, thanks. Toot toot for me
all the tootsNo, I do appreciate that,
because I, you know, part ofthat building that self esteem
(22:22):
is that you you want to feelconfident within yourself, and
you want to feel like not onlyare clients feeling empowered
and confident within themselves,but I feel like as therapists,
we also have to feel empoweredand confident within ourselves
in order to help our clients.
(22:46):
Yeah, I mean, right, it's partof like, you got to talk the
talk or walk that what is thesaying, walk the walk,
it's so true, you do, I alwayswould tell in my outpatient job,
I would always say, you know, wehave to practice what you
preach. And if you want a clientto be open and honest, if you
want, you know, family memberswithin session to talk to each
(23:07):
other open, and honestly, youknow, whatever you want out of
the clients, you have to bewilling to do the same thing.
And I think that's a huge partof that human connection with a
therapist is the relationship isso important for like any
therapeutic work to happen isthat if you feel like your
(23:28):
therapist is vulnerable or openor also expresses the similar
things that they want to see inyou, or helping you achieve,
like, you want to be able tofeel that in a therapist too
exactly why would you open up tosomebody if they're not doing
it.
Yeah. Or if they're judgy, or ifthey come off with likes closed
off body language, and they'reasking you to be very open and
(23:48):
vulnerable. Like, this doesn'tcheck it out.
Right? I wouldn'tI wouldn't either. And so have
you worked with clients wherethey've had, you know, diverse
cultural backgrounds, maybediverse, like sexuality, or
sexual orientations, dealingwith anxiety, depression, like
all of the layers together, andhelping them kind of as they're
(24:09):
all intertwined, take thosepieces out and see how they
overlap with each other tooYes, it actually is definitely a
challenge to have, you know,different cultures, different
identities, different mentalhealth diagnoses all in one
because like, you're saying, youkind of have to like take them
apart and either work on one byone or find a common ground to
(24:34):
help them through all together.
So, like I was even sayingbefore, you kind of have to mold
to the moment you have to adjustin that moment, you know, maybe
two things are connecting, ormaybe nothing is connecting. Or
maybe there's one thing that canhelp with everything. You kind
(24:56):
of have to figure that out inthat moment of or ask them I
feel like a lot of times peopleassume things. And when we are
intentional and asking theclient, I think that's very
important, because not only areyou getting more information and
more background, but alsothey're feeling heard. A lot of
(25:16):
times, you know, if you're justassuming something, and it's
completely wrong, the client'slike, You're not listening to
me, you don't know what I mean,you know what I'm talking about.
So if you're asking them, evenif you think it's a silly
question, even if you think it'sso obvious, if you ask, then
maybe that could make thedifference between how they are
(25:37):
feelingAbsolutely. Right. And I think
so this is like the the pros andcons of being within the same
culture, or maybe the same, likegender identity or sexual
identity that because there'sthis level of understanding and
relatability, sometimes we doassume that it's a similar
experience without recognizingthat every person is still
unique, and every experiencethat they've had, and every
(25:57):
family member and relationshipand, you know, school and job
interaction that they've had isdifferent than the one that
you've had. And so I think it isa really important, like you're
saying is to take the time tolearn and make sure that just
because we're similar in theseways, there's so many more
differences as well.
Yeah. Like I was saying, no twopeople are the same. You could
(26:20):
be growing up the exact sameway. Twins are different. Yeah,
everybody is different. There's,there's similarities. But you
know, it's not synonymous.
Yeah. Maybe in a paralleluniverse, but even that's
different. And so I know we'recoming close to the end. Is
there anything that you reallywant the listeners or future
(26:41):
clients to know or anything ingeneral that you really like to
share with clients, whetherthat's like specific homework or
like approaches that you like touse with them?
I love to help clientsunderstand. So I'm a big why
person, you know, somebody willsay something, and I'll be like,
(27:02):
why? What's what's behind it?
Because I feel like in order tomake changes, you have to
understand what it actually isthat's happening, you can't do
anything about it, if you don'tunderstand it. So I will go back
to kind of like the origin offinding out what happened, what
are you feeling? Whether that'ssomething about the past, or
(27:23):
whether that's an emotion behindthe behavior, just why? What's
going on? So once we pinpointthat, then we can make the
changes to move forward. I'm aslow and steady process, and I
think that that's helpful fornot only changes, but to make
(27:44):
the person feel comfortable inmaking those changes. And to
make them long lasting.
That's the I think that's two ofthe most important parts, right
is comfortable in making thosechanges. But it being long
lasting,I was gonna say, you know, if
you make if you make a changequickly, it's going okay, yeah,
you'll make that change. Butit's gonna only happen for like
a month or, you know, maybe ayear. But if you do a slow and
(28:06):
steady process, and you reallyget into the nitty gritty, and
you get into finding out what'sgoing on, why is this happening,
and you really take the time tomake those changes, they will be
more impactful and moreingrained, to make them more
long lasting for the future.
(28:29):
Absolutely. I totally agree. AndI wonder if that is part of our
training that we had like thatpsychodynamic a little bit is
like really understanding like,what is simmering under the
surface that is kind ofsubconsciously influencing these
decisions, right? Because havingthat awareness is so huge,
that's like, the biggest firststep, and then practicing it or
(28:51):
trying it, right. Like how manytimes do we say we want to do
something after we realize whywe're doing it. And it takes so
long, until we learn theconsequences, or the rewards
attached to it, and reallyimplemented over and over again,
feel the pain of like thegrowing pains, right, of making
these long lasting changes. So Ilove that you really, like take
(29:13):
the slow and steady approach.
And you know, sometimes that canbe frustrating for therapists
and or clients, right, because alot of time clients want to see
things change really fast,because a they're probably in
pain, or they're suffering, orthey've been dealing with this
for a long time. Or they mayjust be impatient, right? And so
it's also kind of getting themon the same page of recognizing
that like, it's okay that ittakes longer, it will probably
(29:36):
mean that it will last longertoo.
Right. We are loving the instantgratification, and I will
definitely as I will help findthe quick band aids in the
meantime of working on the coreissue.
So it's the now and later.
(29:58):
Yeah, because you know, likeyou're saying, you know, the
impatient, like, I can getimpatient in that way as well,
you know, sometimes you you wantto see some positive changes, so
I get it. So you got to you gotto work on that balance, like we
were saying before, there'sdefinitely a balance with it.
For sure. And trusting theprocess. As much as like kind of
hate that, it is always trustingthe process.
(30:20):
So cliche,Right. Like, EMDR, you have to
trust the process with that,like,
it's always it'll get like worsebefore it gets better. But you
know, you got to trust theprocess.
Mm hmm.
I always like like to tellclients, it's kind of like those
acne commercials where like, itgets worse before it gets
(30:41):
better. It's like, everythingcomes out until it starts to
calm down. And that is kind ofhow therapy is right. Like, once
you start peeling all theselayers off, everything comes out
and you kind of feel worse for alittle bit because you're kind
of hit in the face with all ofthese truths and realities. And
then it's like, Alright, nowthat I'm accepting it, now that
I'm recognizing where and whyit's coming from. It's okay. We
(31:03):
can write being kind of movethrough this, and now I'm past
this and now I'm over the hump alittle bit more.
Right. You have to climb themountain to get to the other
side.
We're full of one liners today.
And it was walk the talk. I wastongue tied with that.
Oh, yeah yeah yeah.
So Gabby, thank you so much forbeing on today. I was I'm glad
(31:25):
that we got to hear more of yourperspective and see your
personality for all the futurelisteners. You are accepting new
clients. And I'm really excitedthat you are a new member of
Heal Your Roots Wellness. Sothanks so much for being on.
Thank you so much for having me.
I appreciate it.
Absolutely.
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