June 20, 2024 • 46 mins
What if the key to true healing lies in a complete acceptance of ourselves and our surroundings? In this heartfelt episode of Healers Talk Healing, I, Nina Ganguli, switch roles and become the guest as my daughter, Sarika, takes the reins. We journey through my personal path of forgiveness, self-discovery, and how I handle everyday challenges to stay authentic. We confront the critical inner voices, like my own named Elvira, who often complicates our lives with unmet expectations and defensiveness. Together, we emphasize the importance of owning our emotions, managing inner narratives, and positively harnessing our energies through Reiki and chakras.
Facing disagreements, especially with parents, unveils layers of instinctual reactions and defensiveness. This episode breaks down the fight or flight response, the introspective journey to understand our behaviors, and the power of open communication. We explore the evolution of critical inner voices from overt harshness to subtle whispers and the profound realization that taking responsibility means recognizing our ability to respond. Discover how these internal dialogues, personified through characters like "Elvira," shape our personal growth and emotional resilience.
Parenting amid a healing journey presents its own set of challenges, from allowing children their independence to managing unresolved anger. As we share personal stories, we highlight the importance of self-expression in both personal and professional realms, the impact of parental influence during adolescence, and the transformative power of confronting past traumas. We close with a poignant reflection on the emotional hurdles mothers face when their children are in pain, underscoring the necessity of open communication and ongoing journeys toward emotional healing and acceptance. This episode is a sincere exploration of turning flaws and pain into growth, offering a roadmap to authentic living.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Healers Talk Healing, the podcast where
we gather to explore the art andscience of holistic healing,
uncovering the secrets to ahappier, healthier you.
I'm your host, Nina Ganguly,and together we will delve into
the intriguing world of holistichealing, delving into the
mind-body connection, ancientwisdom and natural remedies to
(00:27):
the mind-body connection,ancient wisdom and natural
remedies.
Get ready for enlighteningstories, thought-provoking
expert interviews and practicaltips that will empower you to
unlock your true potential andembrace a vibrant, balanced life
.
Whether you're an experiencedwellness enthusiast or simply
curious about the power ofhealing, join us on this
exhilarating journey as we sharethe wisdom and insights that
(00:47):
can truly transform your life.
It's time to embark on a voyagetowards a happier, healthier
you.
So, without further ado, let'sdive into the captivating world
of Healers Talk Healing.
Join us on this episode as I,Nina Ganguly, make a rare switch
from host to guest, with mydaughter Sarika guiding the
(01:10):
conversation.
We unpack the profound conceptof healing as the complete
acceptance of oneself and one'ssurroundings, Sharing my
personal journey of forgiveness,acceptance and self-discovery.
Journey of forgiveness,acceptance and self-discovery.
Listen as we navigate themoment-by-moment challenges of
staying true to my playful,authentic self in an
(01:32):
ever-changing world.
Ever wonder why certainconflicts trigger such profound
reactions, Discover the storybehind a clash with my father
and the subsequentself-reflection that followed.
Through this narrative, weexplore the nature of my
critical inner voice, whom I'venamed Elvira, and how unmet
(01:54):
expectations can fuel ourdefensiveness.
This episode uncovers theimportance of taking
responsibility for our emotionsand managing the inner
narratives that impact ourrelationships.
Manipulation, self-awarenessand personal growth might seem
like two separate topics, butthey are all interconnected in
(02:17):
the journey of healing.
We tackle the nuanced role ofmanipulation, not as a negative
trait, but as a tool that, whenused wisely, can lead to
positive outcomes, From theimpact of upbringing on behavior
to the continuous process ofself-improvement.
We discuss the importance ofself-expression through Reiki
(02:39):
and chakras.
Finally, we reflect on thehonor and responsibility of
being a healer.
Finally, we reflect on thehonor and responsibility of
being a healer, emphasizing thatgenuine transformation comes
from accepting our flaws andturning pain into personal and
communal growth.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
We are good, you are good, we're good, okay, well,
hello welcome to our episode ofhealers talk healing with nina
ganguly.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
This is a little different, right, I'm the one
who is hosting, but today we'redoing something a little
different, where Sarika is partof the team on Healers Talk
Healing and part of MiraclesDirectory team, or Miracles, and
so she's going to be asking mesome questions today, which is
(03:44):
kind of exciting, and so thefloor is yours, my dear.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
All right.
Well, nina happens to be mymother, so this will be very fun
, very exciting, I'm sure.
Now let's get right into it,and I'm going to ask you what is
your definition of healing?
Speaker 1 (04:06):
You would think that I would have something right at
the top of my head, because Iasked this of all of our guests
and really I think you know Iwas thinking about this the
other day because I knew we weregoing to be recording this and
I was thinking about, well, whatwould be my answer, and the
first thing that came to me waslike complete acceptance of self
and everything that surroundsself.
(04:30):
When you can accept what is,what isn't, who is who isn't, I
don't think anything caninfiltrate than your peace of
mind, which is something that'sso important to me.
Peace of mind and fullself-expression, these are
things that I'm picking up alongthe way, as I am also still on
(04:54):
a healing journey, so I reallydo believe that it is all about
accepting.
It's kind of like EckhartTolle's power of now, which is
being able to observe what'sgoing on without any sort of
reaction, and that is not easyno, it's not, it's easy for me
(05:19):
to say it's about acceptance,and I say that all the time,
like even on my other podcast,which is, you know, from victim
to victory, and all aboutforgiveness, and forgiveness is
true, true forgiveness, Ibelieve, is acceptance, like
accepting everything the way itis, and it's easy to say.
It's just one word acceptance.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
It's so easy it's not it's not so easy in practice
that's for sure.
Well then, I'd like to knowwhat is your forgiveness and
acceptance journey?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
look like what does what does mine look like?
It's an everyday phenomenon.
There's every day.
I am working on accepting youknow a tone uh, uh, joke, I'm
super.
As I'm getting older, I'mactually discovering how
sensitive I am.
Now I'm also perimenopausal,let me just put that out there.
(06:11):
So many of us are alreadybecome more sensitive and highly
irritable, but I have noticedin my observation of self that
I'm I'm very sensitive, evenlike little things.
Little, tiny little thingsimpact me.
So then it's like okay, well,there's a level, of moment by
(06:33):
moment, I have to accept thingsthe way they are, without
judging self, without judgingothers.
It's a whole lot of head workactually is what's going on
right now in my head and certainthings I'm good with now,
certain things I'm like oh okay,it's just this, is just the way
it is.
However, if I were to go back Iknow it's a loaded.
You asked me a loaded question,so I'm going to give you a
(06:55):
loaded answer I, you know, I'mconstantly looking at where are
my thoughts coming from, wheredid they grow from?
Where was the seed implanted?
That I think the way I do, andI discovered, or maybe
rediscovered, for myself.
I grew up in a very criticalenvironment.
So I am highly critical and Ialso did a lot of development in
(07:20):
looking for what's not workingso that I can insert something
that would make it work.
So it would be better.
So imagine that that's my brainall the time.
So it is a critical thinking.
Not only do I critically think,from like in a broader
perspective, but I'm critical.
I'm critical of others, I'mcritical of self.
(07:42):
And so the journey now, I think, is accepting the darker parts
of me that I haven't really goneand looked at.
You know, I was looking at thedarker parts of others and how
those darker parts impacted me.
And now my forgiveness andacceptance journey is about
(08:04):
forgiving myself for how Iturned out to be and at this age
I'm 50 plus it's an interestingjourney.
It's it's.
It's an interesting journey.
And I know sometimes you ask,you'll ask me mom, where are you
right now?
Like where, like what's goingon?
You look a lot of the time.
You know sometimes dad will sayyou know you look upset, you,
(08:26):
you're, you're you, you looklike you're not having a good
time and that's not the truth.
The truth is the introspection.
I am having a good time, butthe introspection is huh, why am
I having that thought and thethought maybe is irritating me,
like I'm getting irritated at myirritation.
Yep, I can.
I can, I can understand that,because that is not who I see
(08:46):
myself authentically to be.
Okay, authentically I am.
Do you remember one day?
You told me the other day yousaid there's something that
changes in my eyes when I'mcompletely authentic.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Yeah, and yourself, and happy yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Yeah, and so that is who I am and maybe for the
listeners you know you're notgoing to understand that because
you don't see me every day butit really, uh, I'm much more
childlike, more playful, um,giddy.
So it's like who I am with aglass of wine and it's sad to
(09:29):
say that that's when it mostlycomes out.
Or I'm on vacation without,even without any kind of you
know substance or any, like noalcohol or anything like that.
But that is, that has been.
That's the journey findingthose moments minute by minute,
day by day, and I'm challengedbecause situations are changing
(09:52):
all the time, and recognizing mythought patterns and
recognizing, well, this thoughtpattern doesn't work.
What thought pattern do youwant to place in here?
But like that's constantlythinking, so I'm constantly
thinking, I guess.
I mean, aren't we all?
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Yes, it's like a constant battle with yourself
pretty much all the time, 24,seven.
Yeah, I experienced that everyday as well, so I can completely
understand.
It's always like or yourquestion, your thoughts, why,
why are you thinking like that?
And that leads to more thoughts, and now you're more annoyed
than you were, you know, 10seconds ago.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Well, I think that one of the biggest challenges
for me lately has been well,with, with experience, you know
mostly how a situation is goingto turn out, so you prepare
yourself Okay, this is the waythe situation is going to be,
this is how things are going togo Not 100%, but there's a
preparation so that your mindsetis where it needs to be, and I
(10:51):
have the talk with myself, Igear myself up and it does end
up being exactly what I thoughtit was going to be.
And I'm still irritated, yep,and I'm still critical of the
situations, and I find thatirritating at the level of self.
So, when I'm talking abouthealing and maybe I'm repeating
myself it really truly is likehealing those patterns right now
(11:16):
that are not giving me peace ofmind and not allowing my full
self-expression to show up notallowing my full self-expression
to to show up.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
So how do you go about interrupting those
thoughts then and trying torework or rewire those thoughts,
or how your brain regularlythinks?
That leads to the criticalthinking or the lack of
acceptance.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
I think it's a.
It's really about observation,like the true observation of
self in the moment.
The other day, dad and I had adisagreement, and you know he
was.
He was really working hard attrying to communicate and I was
(11:59):
watching myself not allowing himto do so.
I was like I don't want tocommunicate, I don't want to
hear what you're saying, I don'twant to work it out.
My initial feeling was run.
That's usually my initialfeeling, for when I'm in a
situation where I'm notcomfortable, I just I, you know,
fight or flight.
I I'm like I'm out and if Idon't get to go out, then I
(12:19):
fight.
So I watched.
So he left this.
He had to, you know, leave.
We were actually at anappointment and he had to leave
and go get something done.
He had to go to these, theappointment, and I sat there and
I thought, okay, so what'sgoing on?
Where I am unwilling?
That's this is the observation.
What is going on right now?
That I'm unwilling to be theperson I said I want to be, I
(12:44):
want to be communicative, I wantto understand, I want to hear,
listen, be open, and I'm notdoing that right now.
And what happened in thatmoment is I realized I wanted
something to go a certain way,or I wanted to communicate
something, and it didn't comeout as loving or kind.
(13:09):
It came out harshly, which Ididn't even realize, because
that's the critical part of me,the defensive part of me.
And when he came back from hisappointment, I was able to say
you know, my reaction came fromthis need to be a certain way
(13:37):
and it came out like it wasn'tcritical of you.
I think experience is when youI'm not sure how to say this,
but I'm just going to say it.
So you know, like, yeah, like,when you want something to
happen or you want to take careof someone and you feel like
(13:59):
you're not doing a good job,then your response to the
situation or the person isdefensive.
There's no, like, okay, well,you know how can we resolve this
and and come together.
So this is what I'm looking at.
I'm looking at being able tolisten for the dark parts of
(14:19):
myself and be like, not be likeoh my God like I've done
something to hurt someone.
So now I've got to be defensive, now I've got to be like this
and like all of this stuff comesup and that's what actually
happened in the moment.
You know, he got triggered aboutsomething I said.
Then I got triggered by what hegot triggered by and then I was
like, well, why am I triggeredby that?
(14:40):
This is so crazy.
This is like insane, that thisis so crazy, this is like insane
.
I'm telling him he's crazy, butreally maybe I'm crazy and this
is what goes on in my head.
That's how I work it out.
I have to work it out that way,and or I go to my tribe.
I have a tribe of um true, truewomen who will support me and
(15:01):
be like I get you're angry, Iunderstand you're angry, but
where is your responsibility inthis?
And I have a hard time whensomebody says that where's your
responsibility in this?
Because immediately I don'tthink about responsibility as
power, I think of it as oh man,I did something wrong.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yeah, yep, I think a lot of people feel like that too
.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Yeah, it is responsible.
Really means your ability torespond and, because of the way
I was brought up, responsiblemeans I'm at fault for something
.
Yeah, and it takes somethingyes.
(15:48):
I've been on a healing journeyfor 17 years and it's it.
I think I'm much better than Iwas 17 years ago.
I had no clue how I reacted tothings.
I had no idea.
You know who was talking here.
Was this, you know, theenlightened Nina or the angry
Nina, or the 13 year old or the20, like who was showing up?
(16:08):
You know, and and I think weall struggle with who we are in
those moments what sort ofincident or trauma has caused us
to react, the way that we react, and when we can grab hold of
it and see it like you can'tunsee something.
Once you've seen it Right, yep,that is true.
(16:29):
And then, once you've seen itright, yep, that's true.
And then, once you've, okay,when you didn't know, maybe you
can get a uh, you know, get outof jail free card because you
didn't know.
But once you know there's nomore getting out of jail free,
yep, you know.
That is when your ability torespond makes the hugest hugest.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
You said something really interesting about your 13
year old self, your angry self,your enlightened self.
You have a name for a voicethat is in your head that I
would love, I think would bereally interesting to talk about
, because you know we did a lotof work about our inner voices
or not so nice inner voices,especially at one of your events
which I think a lot of peoplecould benefit from ah yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
So I call her Elvira and she is a nasty woman.
Man, she's nasty, nasty, nasty.
She used to scream at me before.
She used to scream and it wouldbe a loud scream, but she's
gotten very good at manipulatingthe situation.
She doesn't scream anymore, shewhispers.
(17:36):
Wow, and I'm just actuallyrealizing this as we're speaking
.
It's the little whisper, it'sthe little condescending remark,
and maybe not about myself,maybe it's about somebody else
because ego is being dentedabout something, maybe it's a
feeling in the physical beingthat happens.
(17:58):
But Elvira is not as loud asshe used to be.
She's not as nasty, overtly, asshe used to be.
Like literally, she used to belike get off the effing couch,
like you need to do something,like what's wrong with you?
Why are you just sitting here?
Now?
It's like oh, it's okay, youdon't have to get off the couch
(18:18):
if you don't want to.
I'm like no, no, but I gotstuff to do.
Oh, no, you can have a pass.
You know the little like it's.
It's she, it's she's smart, shesounds manipulative, she's very
manipulative and what Idiscovered?
She's a part of me.
So I say about who I am and Irealized I am manipulative when
(18:42):
I want to get something.
It's manipulation.
Okay, so understand thedefinition of manipulation is
changing something?
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
So that you can make it work Right.
So it's not always a bad thing,just like responsibility is not
always a bad thing.
Will I use manipulation to getsomething out of some?
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Yeah, we all do Like who doesn't?
Everybody does.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
when they want their way for something, they will
manipulate you know likesuccessful people will
manipulate situations so thatthe outcome turns out the best
for everybody involved.
That's what you have to do,right.
Like you know, we just spent 20minutes trying to manipulate
the sounds so it works properly.
Yeah, we did so that's calledmanipulation.
(19:29):
But I realized that when Idon't get my own way, I start
thinking what should I say?
It's automatic.
What should I say?
How should I say it?
What do I need to do to, to, toget my, to get what I want.
And when I don't get what Iwant, oh boy, I am not nice.
Oh boy, I am not nice.
(19:55):
That's the darker part of me,the part that I'm like okay,
where is this coming from?
And it's, it's always.
Unfortunately, it always goesback to our upbringing.
You know those critical momentswhere we were.
You know, now I'm not fiveyears old, or I'm not six years
old, or I'm not 13 years old, orI'm not six years old, I'm not
13 years old.
And my voice starts to say to mywhat I start to say to myself
is you've got to parent yourself, you.
(20:16):
You're 55 years old almost.
You need to come and parent toyourself.
It's, it's time that you knowyou don't use the excuse of
whatever excuse I use.
You know it's it's to be agrownup.
I see myself do it all the timeLike, oh, I'm going to be, I
just want to be a kid right now.
(20:37):
I don't want to do this, Idon't want to take this
responsibility.
I don't want to do this.
Like you know, um the listenersdon't know.
You're like my accountabilityperson, Right?
So when you ask me things thatI have not done, I'm not always
nice in my response.
Well, most of the time I'm notnice, actually not all.
Like most responses, 99% of thetime not nice, no, and I try and
(21:01):
use the trump card.
I'm mom, yep, so don't talk tome that way or don't ask me a
question like that.
Yeah, that's, that's my shadowself, because I don't want to be
held accountable, or I feel bad, or I feel guilty, or I'm like
well, who's losing out at theend?
Really?
Speaker 2 (21:16):
You are.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Yeah, the healing journey.
It is definitely.
It is a journey.
There's layers and layers andlayers.
I do know when I look back howfar I've come, but I still know
there's a.
There's a long way to go, youknow, to get to monk status.
(21:39):
I don't want to be a monk, butyou know what other kind of?
status, like not getting irkedby somebody who cut me off and
not getting irked by a tonewhich is who?
That is a.
That's a big one for me.
Tone is a big one where I havenot come near mastering yet.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
I feel like tone is hard because you can always tell
what the tone means.
It's not like you can hide whata tone means when someone's
speaking to you that way, so Ican understand why they'd be.
So I can already feel gettingirritated by someone's tone.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
And it's so funny because we know what tones
irritate other people too.
I know I know what toneirritates.
I know you know what toneirritates.
We know, we know there's a lotof things we know and you know
what.
We're not perfect.
We're not perfect and you knowhealing is not a perfect journey
.
And I know, like there are somepeople who would say, well,
(22:40):
you've been doing this for 17years, you should be over xyz.
Some things like I want to showthat some things are at
cellular levels, like there's aton of research now that shows
the impact of trauma ortraumatic events on people's
physiology.
(23:00):
Think about it.
Think about when you get angry.
Before you react, there's somesort of physical sensation that
happens.
When I feel guilty, there's acertain sort of thing that
happens and because I'm a reikimaster, I know what's my throat
(23:21):
chakra and my heart chakra rightthere are like like they tense
up they actually tense up.
Wow, it used to be in my stomach.
Not, it doesn't sit in mystomach anymore, it sits like up
here and here, because I'm notbeing authentically
self-expressed because, it'scoming okay, I see anger right
(23:44):
yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
I see, that makes sense okay yeah and so like.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
because you're yeah, your throat chakra is all about
self expression.
Well, your heart chakra isabout love, and when I'm, when
I'm not in alignment with all ofthose, there's a definite
impact.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Well, now that we brought up Reiki and chakras, I
think it's time to tell ourlisteners of what you do.
Who are you?
Speaker 1 (24:13):
to tell our listeners what you do.
Who are you?
Who am I?
Multifaceted, and it's funnynow I've I've been working at
trying to figure out how to likebring everything together and I
just realized there's theydon't all have, they don't all
have to work together, they'renot all married.
Who am I?
Well, yes, I am a Reiki masterand I do work with clients to
provide a space that they canheal themselves or have a space
(24:37):
where they can just be who theyneed to be.
I'm also a certified life coach, so I do that as well.
It's all like those things arekind of all married into into
one and the other thing I dowell as well.
Maybe most people don't knowwhat my actual role is, which is
(24:58):
I am.
I don't even actually know myactual full title, but it's on
the director, marketing andbranding, and so you know what,
what I, what, how.
All of those all work together.
For me is allowing people,wherever they are, whether it's
(25:19):
in their business, in theirlives, to be fully
self-expressed.
So marketing allows theexpression of a business to come
to life.
So marketing allows theexpression of a business to come
to life.
Healing allows the expression ofself to be exposed and come to
life because we're bornauthentic.
We come out and we know exactlywhat we want.
(25:40):
We're not afraid to sit.
I'm hungry, I'm dirty, I'm sick, my belly hurts.
There's no problem in thatself-expression.
But as we grow, we get into anenvironment with others are not
fully self-expressed or healedthemselves, and so you're in an
environment where maybe yourfull self-expression is
(26:05):
triggering somebody else'sinability to be fully expressed
or how they want to see theworld yep, I have experienced
that so, like you know, yeah,let's just say it us parents, we
mess up our children, myparents messed me up.
I am sure we've done things tomess you up.
And if you pass that on or youhave children or you're around
(26:27):
children, you may, may, do thesame thing as someone who.
You know, your immediatereactions, our immediate
reactions are for survival.
So if we feel that we're beingthreatened in any way, we're
going to do whatever it takes tosurvive, make up stories in our
head, do whatever, whatever itis.
So, anyways, I digress in thequestion that you asked me,
(26:50):
which is what do I do?
What I do, at all levels, isallow people's full
self-expression, whether it'sthrough marketing, branding,
coaching, healing.
That is what I do, and you know, I just came up with the, with
sort of a tagline, which isharmony and hustle, you know,
positively empowering growth.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Join the miracles directory, where healers connect
and wellness begins.
Join a community of trustedholistic professionals or find
your path to healing and peace.
Visit the miracles directorycom.
Start your journey today.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
It's a lot of work what you do.
It takes something to allowpeople to be fully expressed.
Start your journey today, um,because if you don't know my
mother, she has, and my dad havealways told me do whatever I
(27:53):
want to do, as long as I'm happy, and so that that that is what
I take away a lot from all theother you know crap that has
happened.
That is one really positivetakeaway, because a lot of
people in my life who are my agedo not have that experience of
their parents allowingthemselves to be fully
self-expressed, and that waschallenging, especially in high
(28:16):
school, because I was fullyself-expressed but nobody around
me was.
So it puts a lot of dents andpeople you know are feel like
attacked or less than, and I'mlike I'm not doing anything but
doing what my parents taught meto do.
So it was kind of veryinteresting to navigate that
world at that point.
But now that I'm you know, not16, you know it's eight years
(28:39):
later I can appreciate theamount of teachings that you
have given me and it'sinteresting how it came full
circle, for what you do withyour business is exactly how you
kind of raised my brother and Ito be is to be fully
self-expressed you don't alwayslike it when you're fully
self-expressed, but that's okay.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
I actually have a question for you sure, because
we never really get into this inour conversations about what
has it been like for you as thechild of someone who is on that
healing journey, who has hadsuch I don't want to make it
dramatic, but had a traumatic,dramatic upbringing and then,
(29:23):
you know, experiencing someonewho is dealing with all of the
demons that come along with thehealing journey this is a very
interesting question becauseI've never actually thought
about it.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
It kind of just happened right because that's, I
lived life while you were alsoon your healing journey I kind
of lived it side by side withyou, so I don't remember a lot
From when I was younger.
I'll be honest, my memories ofpre-middle school Are next to
none.
So if we're going way back towhen I first Started, when Daldu
(30:04):
or your father had passed away,I could not tell you.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
You were six years old, yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
But I'm gonna say it's been a funny, funny journey
.
I'm gonna say funny becausesometimes I'm like I don't know
what she's doing.
I don't like, I don't get it.
It doesn't seem like it's doinganything.
And then you know, a year laterI'm like, oh well, okay, she
did it a year ago.
(30:30):
I thought it was dumb, but nowI can see the impact of that a
year later.
It kind of reminds me this isgonna be really funny because I
have a I have a science brain,so I'm gonna go a little bit
over there.
There's a lag for a lot ofnatural events, a lag across the
earth, and we don't see the laguntil sometimes a year, even
five years later.
(30:51):
So you could have donesomething to me that I thought
was done five years ago.
Because you know I was, youknow however old I was 19 I'm
like, wow, this doesn't make anysense to me.
Why would she be doing that?
What?
How can that help you heal?
How is that possible?
How can reliving your traumahelp you heal?
That was like the number onething for me.
Why would you want to livethrough that again and then try
(31:12):
and heal?
For, like that blew my mind,okay, and now at 23 I'll be 24
soon I'm like, oh, okay, now Iunderstand, because if you just
shove it to the side, youhaven't healed from it at all.
It has gone nowhere but downinto your unconscious,
subconscious mind and it'syelling at you all the time,
(31:34):
constantly.
So it is, I would say, beingthe child is watching you
respectably take over your lifeand take control of your life in
a way that you never had before, which is very different than
if I were, you know, do thedraining myself, because I
wouldn't see it that way, andit's kind of sometimes like a
(31:56):
mirror, like some things I'veexperienced you've also already
experienced.
So I can be like, okay, well,if my mom can heal from that,
you know, you know, 40 yearsafter it happened, I'm sure I
can heal from that six monthsafter it happened.
You know what I mean.
So I would say it's definitelybeen challenging at some points,
like there's some stuff I I'msure you know, know, or all of
(32:18):
us as a cohesive family unithave thought were insane, but I
can see, for lack of better term, the method to your madness,
right?
Speaker 1 (32:31):
yeah, because I can't imagine what it was.
You know what it's been likewithout feeling some.
At some points I did feel badbecause it didn't make sense.
It didn't even make sense to meto be honest with you.
Some of the things that I putmyself through because you know,
you like, nobody forces anyoneto do anything literally um,
(32:54):
some of the things I put myselfthrough, like, like they were
learned.
I got a learning out of that.
Yeah, why did I say yes tosomething that would do X, y, z
at the end of the day?
You know, and you know, I can'timagine what it's like to watch
.
Well, I can't imagine what am Italking about.
I can imagine it, you know.
(33:15):
It is, I think, one of the mostas a mother, watching the growth
and development as a child foryour child, and not to stick
your nose in it, not to saysomething.
Allow the process, which mytribe multiple times have said,
step back.
Allow the process to happen.
You have to.
You can only be an observer.
(33:36):
At this point is not one of themost, I would say is the most
challenging thing.
We had this conversation theother day where you were like,
mom, why are you so mad aboutthis?
Like it doesn't even impact you, but the truth is it does when
you, when you are, when somebodycame out of of your body, like
(34:01):
literally out of your body, oreven if they didn't come out of
your body and you, you have thatlove for them.
To watch someone be hurt andnot want to punch someone in the
face is the biggest challengeof life.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
I think, well, I will never understand that, nor do I
want to understand that.
I have no interest.
I spend all day with kidsanyways.
But I think from I'm going tosay from the child's perspective
to have someone who is stillharboring anger you know, I'm
(34:42):
not going to say hate, because Idon't know if that's the right,
correct term towards somethingthat happened to their kid and
to still harbor that.
The kid can feel it, and soit's hard for us to then let
that go because somebody elsearound us all the time can still
feel it.
It's like I'm going to give anexample when it is my time of
(35:03):
the month, my mother can alreadytell that I'm going to be
starting my period at some pointand she knows in her whole
being that it is going to happenand I'm like, oh, I'm not even
close, not possible.
But lo and behold, two, three,four days later, you know,
mother nature decides to show upand so we are attached with
(35:26):
number one cellularly.
We are genetically, um, uh, Iwould say.
My mom and I have a fantasticrelationship, so even closer
than I would say someone else isto their child, because it's an
open door policy with my momalways, so I can talk about,
whatever do, whatever say,whatever, whatever I need to say
(35:47):
can happen, but it is hard fromthe kid's perspective to have
someone who's still angry aboutsomething that actually did not
happen to them and then thatperson trying to get over it but
someone else is still angryabout it that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
I think that's a fair statement to say about the
impact, because then it's like acon, it becomes some sort of
constant conversation in thebackground.
You know exactly, um, and Ithink it also comes from that.
Well, the parent or yeah nothaving acceptance or forgiveness
(36:26):
for the pain that was caused totheir child, of course, and I
think it's if we can get to thatplace, you know, because there
are some people who just theydon't, they're not interested in
accepting or forgiving.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
There are people who are just, they're just not
interested.
There's a sense of whatever itis.
You know, I was in that placefor a little bit, you know.
You know, having this likebeing upset with someone and
then be like, well, I'm notinterested in accepting whatever
is happening right now, I'mjust not interested, I want to
sit in my anger, I want to sitin my bitterness.
(37:05):
But what I didn't realize inthat moment until it was brought
to my attention, that mesitting in the bitterness, me
sitting in the anger, wasactually impacting everyone
around me, because I washorrible to live with everyone
around me, because I washorrible to live with Right and
then so, okay, so I'm, I don'twant it to impact other people,
(37:26):
but then we sway, we like this.
Like I said, this whole healingjourney is like this back and
forth pendulum of well, okay, Iwant to be in my feelings right
now, but my feelings areimpacting people and and I am a
people, people pleaser that's mynatural way and state of being.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
It is the way I was brought up it is who I am.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
It is something I have to deal with all the time
so that it doesn't impact me,because people pleasing is
something about, you know.
It comes down to control, itcomes, it comes down to
self-esteem.
It comes down to so manydifferent things, um, but from
from my perspective, it comesdown to so if the people
pleasing is like so that I don'tfeel like this, everyone has to
(38:09):
feel like I have to make sureeverything is okay so that it's
not impacting my, my state ofmind but, anyways.
Um, what I was getting at isback to right.
It's like it's taking us rightback to the beginning of the
question.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
I was just gonna say, that really mean to me and it
is about acceptance.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
it will always, for me, be about acceptance, and it
is the it's easy to say but it'schallenging to do, because I
say, okay, I've accepted it, butthen that person might come
into my visual and I'm like I'mso mad.
I haven't accepted anything.
(39:01):
When I'm still mad, it's becauseI haven't communicated
authentically with that personor the situation.
I haven't said you know what.
I'm still mad about this.
Yeah, I know it was three yearsago.
I'm still mad about it and youknow it's still impacting me.
I obviously haven't gotten overit.
But I've also learned that theminute I communicate as
challenging as it is, learnedthat the minute I communicate,
(39:21):
as challenging as it is, theminute I communicate my distress
or however you want to put it,once I've sort of communicated
it and I've put it on the table,I think my brain says well, at
least you got to say what youwanted to say and you're not
left with anything.
Now, whatever the person saysback to you, you're not left
with anything.
Now, whatever the person saysback to you, that's a whole
(39:42):
nother story.
You know you have to acceptalso what's coming at you when
you're, when you're in theseconversations, that they're not
going to show up the way youwant them to.
It's not a bowl of cherries.
Listen, full self-expressionmakes other people uncomfortable
, like what you said.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Yep Really uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
You are fully self-expressed.
You will be judged because itdoes make other people
uncomfortable, like what yousaid.
Yep, really uncomfortable,fully self-expressed.
You will be judged because itdoes make other people feel
uncomfortable, because they alsowant to be fully self-expressed
, but then they've got all theirstuff going on.
You know, have you ever been I?
I asked the audience, I'd loveto hear have you ever been in a
situation where you saw someonejust be, however they want it to
(40:20):
be, and your thoughts are likethat person, crazy, like what is
going on with that person?
They should just, you know,shut their mouth or go sit down.
Why are they wearing that?
Or whatever the heck it mightbe.
Whatever their level ofauthentic, full self-expression
is, it does make people feeluncomfortable because most of us
don't walk around being fullyself-expressed, and that is why
(40:41):
it's so important to me thatpeople have access to that.
However, it is for them.
That's the most important andthat's why I do the work I do.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
I agree.
It is very important and it isvery stressful for people to be
fully self-expressed.
I find too, especially in 2024,where everything you do is
everywhere, how you act, youmake one mistake.
It is with you and stuck withyou for the rest of your life.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
I can't imagine.
I can't imagine.
I can't imagine I had.
You know, I had a tumultuoustime in high school and I can't
imagine having cameras, havingphones, having whatever you know
, instantaneous access to youknow people's mistakes.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
Forever and all of it Forever.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Your history can no longer be erased.
You don't get a fresh start.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
You don't get a reset button and you know I can.
We see this show up years andyears later when somebody's
trying to do something good andoh, they did something wrong
when they were 16, yeah, andit's like, okay, they were 16
and yes, it could be somethinghorrendous but it was 50 years
ago yeah, you know, and they'veoutgrown that, they've done the
(42:05):
work and they're on the healingjourney and I mean we could get
into a whole nother podcastconversation that conversation?
maybe we should, because it isabout healing.
And how does it look like whenwe as a community, we as a
consciousness, allow people thespace to heal?
(42:26):
Because a lot of times we don'teven allow people the space to
heal because it's ugly.
Feeling the space like thehealing space might be tranquil,
you might hear nice noises andyou, you might feel like in the
moment, comfortable, but youknow it don't look, it doesn't
look nice when you're bawlingyour face off or you're
screaming or you're whatever itis that you're doing in the
(42:49):
midst of it and people areuncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
We want everything to be smooth and calm and
comfortable yeah, it's like abox, it's like our box, you know
our little.
Step outside the box and seewhat life is like for a minute.
It's very different, right,very, very different.
And I think if we allowedpeople the self-expression to
(43:13):
heal even so, let's just, youknow, be fully self-expressed in
there.
You know they screwed up, theymessed up, whatever it was, you
know, 20 years ago, six monthsago.
People can heal and people canchange.
I'm not saying everyonedeserves 60 chances either.
Okay, like, can't make the samescrew up multiple times, but,
(43:35):
um, everyone, like you said,what you're doing, what you're
providing, is to give everyonethat space and most people, I
would argue, do not have thatspace and so to create that
opportunity for people whereverthey are in the world because
you know we live in a time wherethey can do that.
They can come to you and belike you know they're 12 hours
(43:56):
ahead, but I need that space,yeah, and you can provide that
for them, and I think that's abeautiful message and it's
wonderful.
And it takes something to takeon people's stuff too.
You know, to be that personthat can take on the stuff, you
know I can imagine life coachingyou hear all kinds of things
kind of like how I imaginecounselors feel and therapists
feel Yep, you hear stuff andthen you got to figure out.
(44:18):
I guess where the reiki comesin is.
You know, get rid of the stuff,put up that barrier yeah, it is
.
Speaker 1 (44:25):
It's a profound honor to be part of the process.
For someone who is willing andcourageous enough really truly
is, you know, brave.
For for those who are willingto say, okay, you know what,
(44:47):
something's not working and Ijust I want to say that
nothing's wrong and nothing'sbroken.
And we use those words all thetime.
There's something wrong with me, I'm broken, I need to be fixed
, fixed.
I've said those words many,many times myself.
But there's nothing wrong andthere's nothing broken and
nothing needs to be fixed.
(45:08):
We just need to alchemize itand transform it, and, and when
we do that, that's when theacceptance can come in and the
forgiveness and the truth andfreedom Sounds simple.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
Sounds very simple.
I think actually that's likethe most beautiful place we
could end off.
Wow, yeah, I think that wasperfectly said, beautifully said
.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
Thank you.
Thank you, Sarika, for takingthis, having this wonderful
conversation.
We've got to do it again.
It would be fun.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
Different topic.
You know, figure it out.
I am well now I get to say it.
I'm Saruka Ganguly and I amyour host for Healers.
Talk Healing.
And that brings us to the endof our episode with Nina Ganguly
.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
Thank you so much.
Thank you for joining us todayon Healers Talk Healing.
We hope you've been inspiredand empowered on your holistic
healing journey.
If you've enjoyed today'sepisode and want to continue
learning and growing with us,don't forget to subscribe,
follow, rate and review ourpodcast.
Your feedback and support meanthe world to us.
(46:32):
Remember healing is a lifelongjourney and you have the power
to transform your life inprofound ways.
Stay curious, keep exploringand never stop believing in your
own capacity for healing.
Welcome to Healers Talk Healing, the podcast where
we gather to explore the art andscience of holistic healing,
uncovering the secrets to ahappier, healthier you.
I'm your host, Nina Ganguly,and together we will delve into
the intriguing world of holistichealing, delving into the
mind-body connection, ancientwisdom and natural remedies to
(00:27):
the mind-body connection,ancient wisdom and natural
remedies.
Get ready for enlighteningstories, thought-provoking
expert interviews and practicaltips that will empower you to
unlock your true potential andembrace a vibrant, balanced life
.
Whether you're an experiencedwellness enthusiast or simply
curious about the power ofhealing, join us on this
exhilarating journey as we sharethe wisdom and insights that
(00:47):
can truly transform your life.
It's time to embark on a voyagetowards a happier, healthier
you.
So, without further ado, let'sdive into the captivating world
of Healers Talk Healing.
Join us on this episode as I,Nina Ganguly, make a rare switch
from host to guest, with mydaughter Sarika guiding the
(01:10):
conversation.
We unpack the profound conceptof healing as the complete
acceptance of oneself and one'ssurroundings, Sharing my
personal journey of forgiveness,acceptance and self-discovery.
Journey of forgiveness,acceptance and self-discovery.
Listen as we navigate themoment-by-moment challenges of
staying true to my playful,authentic self in an
(01:32):
ever-changing world.
Ever wonder why certainconflicts trigger such profound
reactions, Discover the storybehind a clash with my father
and the subsequentself-reflection that followed.
Through this narrative, weexplore the nature of my
critical inner voice, whom I'venamed Elvira, and how unmet
(01:54):
expectations can fuel ourdefensiveness.
This episode uncovers theimportance of taking
responsibility for our emotionsand managing the inner
narratives that impact ourrelationships.
Manipulation, self-awarenessand personal growth might seem
like two separate topics, butthey are all interconnected in
(02:17):
the journey of healing.
We tackle the nuanced role ofmanipulation, not as a negative
trait, but as a tool that, whenused wisely, can lead to
positive outcomes, From theimpact of upbringing on behavior
to the continuous process ofself-improvement.
We discuss the importance ofself-expression through Reiki
(02:39):
and chakras.
Finally, we reflect on thehonor and responsibility of
being a healer.
Finally, we reflect on thehonor and responsibility of
being a healer, emphasizing thatgenuine transformation comes
from accepting our flaws andturning pain into personal and
communal growth.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
We are good, you are good, we're good, okay, well,
hello welcome to our episode ofhealers talk healing with nina
ganguly.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
This is a little different, right, I'm the one
who is hosting, but today we'redoing something a little
different, where Sarika is partof the team on Healers Talk
Healing and part of MiraclesDirectory team, or Miracles, and
so she's going to be asking mesome questions today, which is
(03:44):
kind of exciting, and so thefloor is yours, my dear.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
All right.
Well, nina happens to be mymother, so this will be very fun
, very exciting, I'm sure.
Now let's get right into it,and I'm going to ask you what is
your definition of healing?
Speaker 1 (04:06):
You would think that I would have something right at
the top of my head, because Iasked this of all of our guests
and really I think you know Iwas thinking about this the
other day because I knew we weregoing to be recording this and
I was thinking about, well, whatwould be my answer, and the
first thing that came to me waslike complete acceptance of self
and everything that surroundsself.
(04:30):
When you can accept what is,what isn't, who is who isn't, I
don't think anything caninfiltrate than your peace of
mind, which is something that'sso important to me.
Peace of mind and fullself-expression, these are
things that I'm picking up alongthe way, as I am also still on
(04:54):
a healing journey, so I reallydo believe that it is all about
accepting.
It's kind of like EckhartTolle's power of now, which is
being able to observe what'sgoing on without any sort of
reaction, and that is not easyno, it's not, it's easy for me
(05:19):
to say it's about acceptance,and I say that all the time,
like even on my other podcast,which is, you know, from victim
to victory, and all aboutforgiveness, and forgiveness is
true, true forgiveness, Ibelieve, is acceptance, like
accepting everything the way itis, and it's easy to say.
It's just one word acceptance.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
It's so easy it's not it's not so easy in practice
that's for sure.
Well then, I'd like to knowwhat is your forgiveness and
acceptance journey?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
look like what does what does mine look like?
It's an everyday phenomenon.
There's every day.
I am working on accepting youknow a tone uh, uh, joke, I'm
super.
As I'm getting older, I'mactually discovering how
sensitive I am.
Now I'm also perimenopausal,let me just put that out there.
(06:11):
So many of us are alreadybecome more sensitive and highly
irritable, but I have noticedin my observation of self that
I'm I'm very sensitive, evenlike little things.
Little, tiny little thingsimpact me.
So then it's like okay, well,there's a level, of moment by
(06:33):
moment, I have to accept thingsthe way they are, without
judging self, without judgingothers.
It's a whole lot of head workactually is what's going on
right now in my head and certainthings I'm good with now,
certain things I'm like oh okay,it's just this, is just the way
it is.
However, if I were to go back Iknow it's a loaded.
You asked me a loaded question,so I'm going to give you a
(06:55):
loaded answer I, you know, I'mconstantly looking at where are
my thoughts coming from, wheredid they grow from?
Where was the seed implanted?
That I think the way I do, andI discovered, or maybe
rediscovered, for myself.
I grew up in a very criticalenvironment.
So I am highly critical and Ialso did a lot of development in
(07:20):
looking for what's not workingso that I can insert something
that would make it work.
So it would be better.
So imagine that that's my brainall the time.
So it is a critical thinking.
Not only do I critically think,from like in a broader
perspective, but I'm critical.
I'm critical of others, I'mcritical of self.
(07:42):
And so the journey now, I think, is accepting the darker parts
of me that I haven't really goneand looked at.
You know, I was looking at thedarker parts of others and how
those darker parts impacted me.
And now my forgiveness andacceptance journey is about
(08:04):
forgiving myself for how Iturned out to be and at this age
I'm 50 plus it's an interestingjourney.
It's it's.
It's an interesting journey.
And I know sometimes you ask,you'll ask me mom, where are you
right now?
Like where, like what's goingon?
You look a lot of the time.
You know sometimes dad will sayyou know you look upset, you,
(08:26):
you're, you're you, you looklike you're not having a good
time and that's not the truth.
The truth is the introspection.
I am having a good time, butthe introspection is huh, why am
I having that thought and thethought maybe is irritating me,
like I'm getting irritated at myirritation.
Yep, I can.
I can, I can understand that,because that is not who I see
(08:46):
myself authentically to be.
Okay, authentically I am.
Do you remember one day?
You told me the other day yousaid there's something that
changes in my eyes when I'mcompletely authentic.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Yeah, and yourself, and happy yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Yeah, and so that is who I am and maybe for the
listeners you know you're notgoing to understand that because
you don't see me every day butit really, uh, I'm much more
childlike, more playful, um,giddy.
So it's like who I am with aglass of wine and it's sad to
(09:29):
say that that's when it mostlycomes out.
Or I'm on vacation without,even without any kind of you
know substance or any, like noalcohol or anything like that.
But that is, that has been.
That's the journey findingthose moments minute by minute,
day by day, and I'm challengedbecause situations are changing
(09:52):
all the time, and recognizing mythought patterns and
recognizing, well, this thoughtpattern doesn't work.
What thought pattern do youwant to place in here?
But like that's constantlythinking, so I'm constantly
thinking, I guess.
I mean, aren't we all?
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Yes, it's like a constant battle with yourself
pretty much all the time, 24,seven.
Yeah, I experienced that everyday as well, so I can completely
understand.
It's always like or yourquestion, your thoughts, why,
why are you thinking like that?
And that leads to more thoughts, and now you're more annoyed
than you were, you know, 10seconds ago.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Well, I think that one of the biggest challenges
for me lately has been well,with, with experience, you know
mostly how a situation is goingto turn out, so you prepare
yourself Okay, this is the waythe situation is going to be,
this is how things are going togo Not 100%, but there's a
preparation so that your mindsetis where it needs to be, and I
(10:51):
have the talk with myself, Igear myself up and it does end
up being exactly what I thoughtit was going to be.
And I'm still irritated, yep,and I'm still critical of the
situations, and I find thatirritating at the level of self.
So, when I'm talking abouthealing and maybe I'm repeating
myself it really truly is likehealing those patterns right now
(11:16):
that are not giving me peace ofmind and not allowing my full
self-expression to show up notallowing my full self-expression
to to show up.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
So how do you go about interrupting those
thoughts then and trying torework or rewire those thoughts,
or how your brain regularlythinks?
That leads to the criticalthinking or the lack of
acceptance.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
I think it's a.
It's really about observation,like the true observation of
self in the moment.
The other day, dad and I had adisagreement, and you know he
was.
He was really working hard attrying to communicate and I was
(11:59):
watching myself not allowing himto do so.
I was like I don't want tocommunicate, I don't want to
hear what you're saying, I don'twant to work it out.
My initial feeling was run.
That's usually my initialfeeling, for when I'm in a
situation where I'm notcomfortable, I just I, you know,
fight or flight.
I I'm like I'm out and if Idon't get to go out, then I
(12:19):
fight.
So I watched.
So he left this.
He had to, you know, leave.
We were actually at anappointment and he had to leave
and go get something done.
He had to go to these, theappointment, and I sat there and
I thought, okay, so what'sgoing on?
Where I am unwilling?
That's this is the observation.
What is going on right now?
That I'm unwilling to be theperson I said I want to be, I
(12:44):
want to be communicative, I wantto understand, I want to hear,
listen, be open, and I'm notdoing that right now.
And what happened in thatmoment is I realized I wanted
something to go a certain way,or I wanted to communicate
something, and it didn't comeout as loving or kind.
(13:09):
It came out harshly, which Ididn't even realize, because
that's the critical part of me,the defensive part of me.
And when he came back from hisappointment, I was able to say
you know, my reaction came fromthis need to be a certain way
(13:37):
and it came out like it wasn'tcritical of you.
I think experience is when youI'm not sure how to say this,
but I'm just going to say it.
So you know, like, yeah, like,when you want something to
happen or you want to take careof someone and you feel like
(13:59):
you're not doing a good job,then your response to the
situation or the person isdefensive.
There's no, like, okay, well,you know how can we resolve this
and and come together.
So this is what I'm looking at.
I'm looking at being able tolisten for the dark parts of
(14:19):
myself and be like, not be likeoh my God like I've done
something to hurt someone.
So now I've got to be defensive, now I've got to be like this
and like all of this stuff comesup and that's what actually
happened in the moment.
You know, he got triggered aboutsomething I said.
Then I got triggered by what hegot triggered by and then I was
like, well, why am I triggeredby that?
(14:40):
This is so crazy.
This is like insane, that thisis so crazy, this is like insane
.
I'm telling him he's crazy, butreally maybe I'm crazy and this
is what goes on in my head.
That's how I work it out.
I have to work it out that way,and or I go to my tribe.
I have a tribe of um true, truewomen who will support me and
(15:01):
be like I get you're angry, Iunderstand you're angry, but
where is your responsibility inthis?
And I have a hard time whensomebody says that where's your
responsibility in this?
Because immediately I don'tthink about responsibility as
power, I think of it as oh man,I did something wrong.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yeah, yep, I think a lot of people feel like that too
.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Yeah, it is responsible.
Really means your ability torespond and, because of the way
I was brought up, responsiblemeans I'm at fault for something
.
Yeah, and it takes somethingyes.
(15:48):
I've been on a healing journeyfor 17 years and it's it.
I think I'm much better than Iwas 17 years ago.
I had no clue how I reacted tothings.
I had no idea.
You know who was talking here.
Was this, you know, theenlightened Nina or the angry
Nina, or the 13 year old or the20, like who was showing up?
(16:08):
You know, and and I think weall struggle with who we are in
those moments what sort ofincident or trauma has caused us
to react, the way that we react, and when we can grab hold of
it and see it like you can'tunsee something.
Once you've seen it Right, yep,that is true.
(16:29):
And then, once you've seen itright, yep, that's true.
And then, once you've, okay,when you didn't know, maybe you
can get a uh, you know, get outof jail free card because you
didn't know.
But once you know there's nomore getting out of jail free,
yep, you know.
That is when your ability torespond makes the hugest hugest.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
You said something really interesting about your 13
year old self, your angry self,your enlightened self.
You have a name for a voicethat is in your head that I
would love, I think would bereally interesting to talk about
, because you know we did a lotof work about our inner voices
or not so nice inner voices,especially at one of your events
which I think a lot of peoplecould benefit from ah yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
So I call her Elvira and she is a nasty woman.
Man, she's nasty, nasty, nasty.
She used to scream at me before.
She used to scream and it wouldbe a loud scream, but she's
gotten very good at manipulatingthe situation.
She doesn't scream anymore, shewhispers.
(17:36):
Wow, and I'm just actuallyrealizing this as we're speaking
.
It's the little whisper, it'sthe little condescending remark,
and maybe not about myself,maybe it's about somebody else
because ego is being dentedabout something, maybe it's a
feeling in the physical beingthat happens.
(17:58):
But Elvira is not as loud asshe used to be.
She's not as nasty, overtly, asshe used to be.
Like literally, she used to belike get off the effing couch,
like you need to do something,like what's wrong with you?
Why are you just sitting here?
Now?
It's like oh, it's okay, youdon't have to get off the couch
(18:18):
if you don't want to.
I'm like no, no, but I gotstuff to do.
Oh, no, you can have a pass.
You know the little like it's.
It's she, it's she's smart, shesounds manipulative, she's very
manipulative and what Idiscovered?
She's a part of me.
So I say about who I am and Irealized I am manipulative when
(18:42):
I want to get something.
It's manipulation.
Okay, so understand thedefinition of manipulation is
changing something?
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
So that you can make it work Right.
So it's not always a bad thing,just like responsibility is not
always a bad thing.
Will I use manipulation to getsomething out of some?
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Yeah, we all do Like who doesn't?
Everybody does.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
when they want their way for something, they will
manipulate you know likesuccessful people will
manipulate situations so thatthe outcome turns out the best
for everybody involved.
That's what you have to do,right.
Like you know, we just spent 20minutes trying to manipulate
the sounds so it works properly.
Yeah, we did so that's calledmanipulation.
(19:29):
But I realized that when Idon't get my own way, I start
thinking what should I say?
It's automatic.
What should I say?
How should I say it?
What do I need to do to, to, toget my, to get what I want.
And when I don't get what Iwant, oh boy, I am not nice.
Oh boy, I am not nice.
(19:55):
That's the darker part of me,the part that I'm like okay,
where is this coming from?
And it's, it's always.
Unfortunately, it always goesback to our upbringing.
You know those critical momentswhere we were.
You know, now I'm not fiveyears old, or I'm not six years
old, or I'm not 13 years old, orI'm not six years old, I'm not
13 years old.
And my voice starts to say to mywhat I start to say to myself
is you've got to parent yourself, you.
(20:16):
You're 55 years old almost.
You need to come and parent toyourself.
It's, it's time that you knowyou don't use the excuse of
whatever excuse I use.
You know it's it's to be agrownup.
I see myself do it all the timeLike, oh, I'm going to be, I
just want to be a kid right now.
(20:37):
I don't want to do this, Idon't want to take this
responsibility.
I don't want to do this.
Like you know, um the listenersdon't know.
You're like my accountabilityperson, Right?
So when you ask me things thatI have not done, I'm not always
nice in my response.
Well, most of the time I'm notnice, actually not all.
Like most responses, 99% of thetime not nice, no, and I try and
(21:01):
use the trump card.
I'm mom, yep, so don't talk tome that way or don't ask me a
question like that.
Yeah, that's, that's my shadowself, because I don't want to be
held accountable, or I feel bad, or I feel guilty, or I'm like
well, who's losing out at theend?
Really?
Speaker 2 (21:16):
You are.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Yeah, the healing journey.
It is definitely.
It is a journey.
There's layers and layers andlayers.
I do know when I look back howfar I've come, but I still know
there's a.
There's a long way to go, youknow, to get to monk status.
(21:39):
I don't want to be a monk, butyou know what other kind of?
status, like not getting irkedby somebody who cut me off and
not getting irked by a tonewhich is who?
That is a.
That's a big one for me.
Tone is a big one where I havenot come near mastering yet.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
I feel like tone is hard because you can always tell
what the tone means.
It's not like you can hide whata tone means when someone's
speaking to you that way, so Ican understand why they'd be.
So I can already feel gettingirritated by someone's tone.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
And it's so funny because we know what tones
irritate other people too.
I know I know what toneirritates.
I know you know what toneirritates.
We know, we know there's a lotof things we know and you know
what.
We're not perfect.
We're not perfect and you knowhealing is not a perfect journey
.
And I know, like there are somepeople who would say, well,
(22:40):
you've been doing this for 17years, you should be over xyz.
Some things like I want to showthat some things are at
cellular levels, like there's aton of research now that shows
the impact of trauma ortraumatic events on people's
physiology.
(23:00):
Think about it.
Think about when you get angry.
Before you react, there's somesort of physical sensation that
happens.
When I feel guilty, there's acertain sort of thing that
happens and because I'm a reikimaster, I know what's my throat
(23:21):
chakra and my heart chakra rightthere are like like they tense
up they actually tense up.
Wow, it used to be in my stomach.
Not, it doesn't sit in mystomach anymore, it sits like up
here and here, because I'm notbeing authentically
self-expressed because, it'scoming okay, I see anger right
(23:44):
yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
I see, that makes sense okay yeah and so like.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
because you're yeah, your throat chakra is all about
self expression.
Well, your heart chakra isabout love, and when I'm, when
I'm not in alignment with all ofthose, there's a definite
impact.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Well, now that we brought up Reiki and chakras, I
think it's time to tell ourlisteners of what you do.
Who are you?
Speaker 1 (24:13):
to tell our listeners what you do.
Who are you?
Who am I?
Multifaceted, and it's funnynow I've I've been working at
trying to figure out how to likebring everything together and I
just realized there's theydon't all have, they don't all
have to work together, they'renot all married.
Who am I?
Well, yes, I am a Reiki masterand I do work with clients to
provide a space that they canheal themselves or have a space
(24:37):
where they can just be who theyneed to be.
I'm also a certified life coach, so I do that as well.
It's all like those things arekind of all married into into
one and the other thing I dowell as well.
Maybe most people don't knowwhat my actual role is, which is
(24:58):
I am.
I don't even actually know myactual full title, but it's on
the director, marketing andbranding, and so you know what,
what I, what, how.
All of those all work together.
For me is allowing people,wherever they are, whether it's
(25:19):
in their business, in theirlives, to be fully
self-expressed.
So marketing allows theexpression of a business to come
to life.
So marketing allows theexpression of a business to come
to life.
Healing allows the expression ofself to be exposed and come to
life because we're bornauthentic.
We come out and we know exactlywhat we want.
(25:40):
We're not afraid to sit.
I'm hungry, I'm dirty, I'm sick, my belly hurts.
There's no problem in thatself-expression.
But as we grow, we get into anenvironment with others are not
fully self-expressed or healedthemselves, and so you're in an
environment where maybe yourfull self-expression is
(26:05):
triggering somebody else'sinability to be fully expressed
or how they want to see theworld yep, I have experienced
that so, like you know, yeah,let's just say it us parents, we
mess up our children, myparents messed me up.
I am sure we've done things tomess you up.
And if you pass that on or youhave children or you're around
(26:27):
children, you may, may, do thesame thing as someone who.
You know, your immediatereactions, our immediate
reactions are for survival.
So if we feel that we're beingthreatened in any way, we're
going to do whatever it takes tosurvive, make up stories in our
head, do whatever, whatever itis.
So, anyways, I digress in thequestion that you asked me,
(26:50):
which is what do I do?
What I do, at all levels, isallow people's full
self-expression, whether it'sthrough marketing, branding,
coaching, healing.
That is what I do, and you know, I just came up with the, with
sort of a tagline, which isharmony and hustle, you know,
positively empowering growth.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Join the miracles directory, where healers connect
and wellness begins.
Join a community of trustedholistic professionals or find
your path to healing and peace.
Visit the miracles directorycom.
Start your journey today.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
It's a lot of work what you do.
It takes something to allowpeople to be fully expressed.
Start your journey today, um,because if you don't know my
mother, she has, and my dad havealways told me do whatever I
(27:53):
want to do, as long as I'm happy, and so that that that is what
I take away a lot from all theother you know crap that has
happened.
That is one really positivetakeaway, because a lot of
people in my life who are my agedo not have that experience of
their parents allowingthemselves to be fully
self-expressed, and that waschallenging, especially in high
(28:16):
school, because I was fullyself-expressed but nobody around
me was.
So it puts a lot of dents andpeople you know are feel like
attacked or less than, and I'mlike I'm not doing anything but
doing what my parents taught meto do.
So it was kind of veryinteresting to navigate that
world at that point.
But now that I'm you know, not16, you know it's eight years
(28:39):
later I can appreciate theamount of teachings that you
have given me and it'sinteresting how it came full
circle, for what you do withyour business is exactly how you
kind of raised my brother and Ito be is to be fully
self-expressed you don't alwayslike it when you're fully
self-expressed, but that's okay.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
I actually have a question for you sure, because
we never really get into this inour conversations about what
has it been like for you as thechild of someone who is on that
healing journey, who has hadsuch I don't want to make it
dramatic, but had a traumatic,dramatic upbringing and then,
(29:23):
you know, experiencing someonewho is dealing with all of the
demons that come along with thehealing journey this is a very
interesting question becauseI've never actually thought
about it.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
It kind of just happened right because that's, I
lived life while you were alsoon your healing journey I kind
of lived it side by side withyou, so I don't remember a lot
From when I was younger.
I'll be honest, my memories ofpre-middle school Are next to
none.
So if we're going way back towhen I first Started, when Daldu
(30:04):
or your father had passed away,I could not tell you.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
You were six years old, yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
But I'm gonna say it's been a funny, funny journey
.
I'm gonna say funny becausesometimes I'm like I don't know
what she's doing.
I don't like, I don't get it.
It doesn't seem like it's doinganything.
And then you know, a year laterI'm like, oh well, okay, she
did it a year ago.
(30:30):
I thought it was dumb, but nowI can see the impact of that a
year later.
It kind of reminds me this isgonna be really funny because I
have a I have a science brain,so I'm gonna go a little bit
over there.
There's a lag for a lot ofnatural events, a lag across the
earth, and we don't see the laguntil sometimes a year, even
five years later.
(30:51):
So you could have donesomething to me that I thought
was done five years ago.
Because you know I was, youknow however old I was 19 I'm
like, wow, this doesn't make anysense to me.
Why would she be doing that?
What?
How can that help you heal?
How is that possible?
How can reliving your traumahelp you heal?
That was like the number onething for me.
Why would you want to livethrough that again and then try
(31:12):
and heal?
For, like that blew my mind,okay, and now at 23 I'll be 24
soon I'm like, oh, okay, now Iunderstand, because if you just
shove it to the side, youhaven't healed from it at all.
It has gone nowhere but downinto your unconscious,
subconscious mind and it'syelling at you all the time,
(31:34):
constantly.
So it is, I would say, beingthe child is watching you
respectably take over your lifeand take control of your life in
a way that you never had before, which is very different than
if I were, you know, do thedraining myself, because I
wouldn't see it that way, andit's kind of sometimes like a
(31:56):
mirror, like some things I'veexperienced you've also already
experienced.
So I can be like, okay, well,if my mom can heal from that,
you know, you know, 40 yearsafter it happened, I'm sure I
can heal from that six monthsafter it happened.
You know what I mean.
So I would say it's definitelybeen challenging at some points,
like there's some stuff I I'msure you know, know, or all of
(32:18):
us as a cohesive family unithave thought were insane, but I
can see, for lack of better term, the method to your madness,
right?
Speaker 1 (32:31):
yeah, because I can't imagine what it was.
You know what it's been likewithout feeling some.
At some points I did feel badbecause it didn't make sense.
It didn't even make sense to meto be honest with you.
Some of the things that I putmyself through because you know,
you like, nobody forces anyoneto do anything literally um,
(32:54):
some of the things I put myselfthrough, like, like they were
learned.
I got a learning out of that.
Yeah, why did I say yes tosomething that would do X, y, z
at the end of the day?
You know, and you know, I can'timagine what it's like to watch
.
Well, I can't imagine what am Italking about.
I can imagine it, you know.
(33:15):
It is, I think, one of the mostas a mother, watching the growth
and development as a child foryour child, and not to stick
your nose in it, not to saysomething.
Allow the process, which mytribe multiple times have said,
step back.
Allow the process to happen.
You have to.
You can only be an observer.
(33:36):
At this point is not one of themost, I would say is the most
challenging thing.
We had this conversation theother day where you were like,
mom, why are you so mad aboutthis?
Like it doesn't even impact you, but the truth is it does when
you, when you are, when somebodycame out of of your body, like
(34:01):
literally out of your body, oreven if they didn't come out of
your body and you, you have thatlove for them.
To watch someone be hurt andnot want to punch someone in the
face is the biggest challengeof life.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
I think, well, I will never understand that, nor do I
want to understand that.
I have no interest.
I spend all day with kidsanyways.
But I think from I'm going tosay from the child's perspective
to have someone who is stillharboring anger you know, I'm
(34:42):
not going to say hate, because Idon't know if that's the right,
correct term towards somethingthat happened to their kid and
to still harbor that.
The kid can feel it, and soit's hard for us to then let
that go because somebody elsearound us all the time can still
feel it.
It's like I'm going to give anexample when it is my time of
(35:03):
the month, my mother can alreadytell that I'm going to be
starting my period at some pointand she knows in her whole
being that it is going to happenand I'm like, oh, I'm not even
close, not possible.
But lo and behold, two, three,four days later, you know,
mother nature decides to show upand so we are attached with
(35:26):
number one cellularly.
We are genetically, um, uh, Iwould say.
My mom and I have a fantasticrelationship, so even closer
than I would say someone else isto their child, because it's an
open door policy with my momalways, so I can talk about,
whatever do, whatever say,whatever, whatever I need to say
(35:47):
can happen, but it is hard fromthe kid's perspective to have
someone who's still angry aboutsomething that actually did not
happen to them and then thatperson trying to get over it but
someone else is still angryabout it that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
I think that's a fair statement to say about the
impact, because then it's like acon, it becomes some sort of
constant conversation in thebackground.
You know exactly, um, and Ithink it also comes from that.
Well, the parent or yeah nothaving acceptance or forgiveness
(36:26):
for the pain that was caused totheir child, of course, and I
think it's if we can get to thatplace, you know, because there
are some people who just theydon't, they're not interested in
accepting or forgiving.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
There are people who are just, they're just not
interested.
There's a sense of whatever itis.
You know, I was in that placefor a little bit, you know.
You know, having this likebeing upset with someone and
then be like, well, I'm notinterested in accepting whatever
is happening right now, I'mjust not interested, I want to
sit in my anger, I want to sitin my bitterness.
(37:05):
But what I didn't realize inthat moment until it was brought
to my attention, that mesitting in the bitterness, me
sitting in the anger, wasactually impacting everyone
around me, because I washorrible to live with everyone
around me, because I washorrible to live with Right and
then so, okay, so I'm, I don'twant it to impact other people,
(37:26):
but then we sway, we like this.
Like I said, this whole healingjourney is like this back and
forth pendulum of well, okay, Iwant to be in my feelings right
now, but my feelings areimpacting people and and I am a
people, people pleaser that's mynatural way and state of being.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
It is the way I was brought up it is who I am.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
It is something I have to deal with all the time
so that it doesn't impact me,because people pleasing is
something about, you know.
It comes down to control, itcomes, it comes down to
self-esteem.
It comes down to so manydifferent things, um, but from
from my perspective, it comesdown to so if the people
pleasing is like so that I don'tfeel like this, everyone has to
(38:09):
feel like I have to make sureeverything is okay so that it's
not impacting my, my state ofmind but, anyways.
Um, what I was getting at isback to right.
It's like it's taking us rightback to the beginning of the
question.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
I was just gonna say, that really mean to me and it
is about acceptance.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
it will always, for me, be about acceptance, and it
is the it's easy to say but it'schallenging to do, because I
say, okay, I've accepted it, butthen that person might come
into my visual and I'm like I'mso mad.
I haven't accepted anything.
(39:01):
When I'm still mad, it's becauseI haven't communicated
authentically with that personor the situation.
I haven't said you know what.
I'm still mad about this.
Yeah, I know it was three yearsago.
I'm still mad about it and youknow it's still impacting me.
I obviously haven't gotten overit.
But I've also learned that theminute I communicate as
challenging as it is, learnedthat the minute I communicate,
(39:21):
as challenging as it is, theminute I communicate my distress
or however you want to put it,once I've sort of communicated
it and I've put it on the table,I think my brain says well, at
least you got to say what youwanted to say and you're not
left with anything.
Now, whatever the person saysback to you, you're not left
with anything.
Now, whatever the person saysback to you, that's a whole
(39:42):
nother story.
You know you have to acceptalso what's coming at you when
you're, when you're in theseconversations, that they're not
going to show up the way youwant them to.
It's not a bowl of cherries.
Listen, full self-expressionmakes other people uncomfortable
, like what you said.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Yep Really uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
You are fully self-expressed.
You will be judged because itdoes make other people
uncomfortable, like what yousaid.
Yep, really uncomfortable,fully self-expressed.
You will be judged because itdoes make other people feel
uncomfortable, because they alsowant to be fully self-expressed
, but then they've got all theirstuff going on.
You know, have you ever been I?
I asked the audience, I'd loveto hear have you ever been in a
situation where you saw someonejust be, however they want it to
(40:20):
be, and your thoughts are likethat person, crazy, like what is
going on with that person?
They should just, you know,shut their mouth or go sit down.
Why are they wearing that?
Or whatever the heck it mightbe.
Whatever their level ofauthentic, full self-expression
is, it does make people feeluncomfortable because most of us
don't walk around being fullyself-expressed, and that is why
(40:41):
it's so important to me thatpeople have access to that.
However, it is for them.
That's the most important andthat's why I do the work I do.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
I agree.
It is very important and it isvery stressful for people to be
fully self-expressed.
I find too, especially in 2024,where everything you do is
everywhere, how you act, youmake one mistake.
It is with you and stuck withyou for the rest of your life.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
I can't imagine.
I can't imagine.
I can't imagine I had.
You know, I had a tumultuoustime in high school and I can't
imagine having cameras, havingphones, having whatever you know
, instantaneous access to youknow people's mistakes.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
Forever and all of it Forever.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Your history can no longer be erased.
You don't get a fresh start.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
You don't get a reset button and you know I can.
We see this show up years andyears later when somebody's
trying to do something good andoh, they did something wrong
when they were 16, yeah, andit's like, okay, they were 16
and yes, it could be somethinghorrendous but it was 50 years
ago yeah, you know, and they'veoutgrown that, they've done the
(42:05):
work and they're on the healingjourney and I mean we could get
into a whole nother podcastconversation that conversation?
maybe we should, because it isabout healing.
And how does it look like whenwe as a community, we as a
consciousness, allow people thespace to heal?
(42:26):
Because a lot of times we don'teven allow people the space to
heal because it's ugly.
Feeling the space like thehealing space might be tranquil,
you might hear nice noises andyou, you might feel like in the
moment, comfortable, but youknow it don't look, it doesn't
look nice when you're bawlingyour face off or you're
screaming or you're whatever itis that you're doing in the
(42:49):
midst of it and people areuncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
We want everything to be smooth and calm and
comfortable yeah, it's like abox, it's like our box, you know
our little.
Step outside the box and seewhat life is like for a minute.
It's very different, right,very, very different.
And I think if we allowedpeople the self-expression to
(43:13):
heal even so, let's just, youknow, be fully self-expressed in
there.
You know they screwed up, theymessed up, whatever it was, you
know, 20 years ago, six monthsago.
People can heal and people canchange.
I'm not saying everyonedeserves 60 chances either.
Okay, like, can't make the samescrew up multiple times, but,
(43:35):
um, everyone, like you said,what you're doing, what you're
providing, is to give everyonethat space and most people, I
would argue, do not have thatspace and so to create that
opportunity for people whereverthey are in the world because
you know we live in a time wherethey can do that.
They can come to you and belike you know they're 12 hours
(43:56):
ahead, but I need that space,yeah, and you can provide that
for them, and I think that's abeautiful message and it's
wonderful.
And it takes something to takeon people's stuff too.
You know, to be that personthat can take on the stuff, you
know I can imagine life coachingyou hear all kinds of things
kind of like how I imaginecounselors feel and therapists
feel Yep, you hear stuff andthen you got to figure out.
(44:18):
I guess where the reiki comesin is.
You know, get rid of the stuff,put up that barrier yeah, it is
.
Speaker 1 (44:25):
It's a profound honor to be part of the process.
For someone who is willing andcourageous enough really truly
is, you know, brave.
For for those who are willingto say, okay, you know what,
(44:47):
something's not working and Ijust I want to say that
nothing's wrong and nothing'sbroken.
And we use those words all thetime.
There's something wrong with me, I'm broken, I need to be fixed
, fixed.
I've said those words many,many times myself.
But there's nothing wrong andthere's nothing broken and
nothing needs to be fixed.
(45:08):
We just need to alchemize itand transform it, and, and when
we do that, that's when theacceptance can come in and the
forgiveness and the truth andfreedom Sounds simple.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
Sounds very simple.
I think actually that's likethe most beautiful place we
could end off.
Wow, yeah, I think that wasperfectly said, beautifully said
.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
Thank you.
Thank you, Sarika, for takingthis, having this wonderful
conversation.
We've got to do it again.
It would be fun.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
Different topic.
You know, figure it out.
I am well now I get to say it.
I'm Saruka Ganguly and I amyour host for Healers.
Talk Healing.
And that brings us to the endof our episode with Nina Ganguly
.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
Thank you so much.
Thank you for joining us todayon Healers Talk Healing.
We hope you've been inspiredand empowered on your holistic
healing journey.
If you've enjoyed today'sepisode and want to continue
learning and growing with us,don't forget to subscribe,
follow, rate and review ourpodcast.
Your feedback and support meanthe world to us.
(46:32):
Remember healing is a lifelongjourney and you have the power
to transform your life inprofound ways.
Stay curious, keep exploringand never stop believing in your
own capacity for healing.
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