May 25, 2024 • 48 mins
When the universe nudges us toward our true calling, it often comes through whispers of intuition or the steadfast support of a friend. AnneLisa Vallery's unexpected journey into becoming a doula began amidst the hills of San Francisco and unfolded as she immersed herself in the sacred birthing space, offering strength and serenity to mothers-to-be. Join this enlightening episode with AnneLisa Vallery, a full-spectrum doula whose touch transforms family growth from preconception to postpartum, as she traverses the deeply personal and universally profound paths of healing and growth.
Through the lens of her experiences as a Reiki master and life coach, AnneLisa delves into the nuanced layers of healing, acknowledging that while the journey is continuous, the tools we acquire light the way for swifter recognition of our healing spaces. She shares her poetic insights on the long-term impact of our healing choices, reminding us that the trees we plant now will offer shade to generations we may never meet. From pivotal affirmations to deeply grounding energies, this conversation is a testament to the extraordinary power of listening to the messages life sends us.
The episode also celebrates the unsung heroes of childbirth: the support systems that uphold new parents as they step into their transformed identities. The dialogue honors holistic healers and the strength found in their guiding light, as they shepherd families through this transformative life adventure. By tuning in, you're not merely listening to a conversation; you're stepping into a circle of empowerment and joining a community dedicated to embracing life's transitions with grace, courage, and heart.
If you're looking for a healing hero OR you are a healing hero and want to be listed on our directory click here to start your journey.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Healers Talk Healing, the podcast where
we gather to explore the art andscience of holistic healing,
uncovering the secrets to ahappier, healthier you.
I'm your host, nina Ganguly,and together we will delve into
the intriguing world of holistichealing, delving into the
mind-body connection, ancientwisdom and natural remedies to
(00:27):
the mind-body connection,ancient wisdom and natural
remedies.
Get ready for enlighteningstories, thought-provoking
expert interviews and practicaltips that will empower you to
unlock your true potential andembrace a vibrant, balanced life
.
Whether you're an experiencedwellness enthusiast or simply
curious about the power ofhealing, join us on this
exhilarating journey as we sharethe wisdom and insights that
(00:47):
can truly transform your life.
It's time to embark on a voyagetowards a happier, healthier
you.
So, without further ado, let'sdive into the captivating world
of Healers Talk Healing.
Welcome to another episode ofHealers Talk Healing, the show
where we explore the inspiringjourneys of healing,
transformation and empowerment.
(01:09):
I'm your host, nina Ganguly,and today we have an incredibly
special episode lined up for you.
I'm thrilled to be joined byAnne-Lisa, a remarkable
individual whose work as afull-spectrum doula has touched
and transformed many lives.
In our conversation, we uncoverthe profound meaning of healing
(01:31):
, the continuous journey itentails and how Anne-Lise
defines it as transformation ofhabits and ways of being that
serve not only ourselves butfuture generations.
Anne-lise shares her inspiringjourney to becoming a doula,
including the spiritual callingand the serendipitous moments
(01:53):
that led her to this path, Fromsupporting families through
preconception to postpartum.
Anne-lise's story is atestament to the power of
following one's intuition andthe immense impact of
compassionate support duringchildbirth.
Whether you're on a healingjourney yourself, considering
(02:13):
starting a family or simplycurious about the role of doulas
, this episode offers valuableinsights and heartfelt stories.
Anne-lise's wisdom andexperience highlight the
importance of community legacyand the continuous process of
healing.
So sit back, relax and join usfor an enlightening and
(02:34):
uplifting conversation.
Let's get started.
I am very excited to speak toyou today, annalisa.
It is an honor to speak tosomeone who does what you do.
You know, as a doula, we haveso much to talk about.
But before we get into thatworld, I'm going to ask you the
(02:54):
question that I ask all of ourguests, which is what is your
definition of healing?
Speaker 2 (03:02):
My.
So I define healing astransform, the transformation of
those habits, ways of being umlearnings that no longer serve
us to, and transforming it intowhat will serve not only us
(03:26):
individually but serve us as ageneration, like serving the
generations beyond us.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, leaving that legacy,planting a seed, taking it
forward, is it's powerful, andsometimes it can feel like it's
a thing, like, oh, it's a thingto have to create that for our,
the people that come after us,those who are going to come
(03:58):
after us, but what a great giftto be able to start the legacy,
to be able to start the legacy.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Absolutely.
We plant inside of that healingprocess.
We uproot the things that nolonger serve our legacy and we
plant the seeds of trees that wewon't be able to experience the
shade of.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
That is some poetry in motion.
It's so true, though, like it's, there is something to be said
about we won't be experiencingit.
You know, we as humans are soin this space, in the world,
looking to that instantgratification.
But you know, when you'resowing, it takes something to be
(04:46):
able to say, oh, I'm not goingnot necessarily, but I.
It comes in the space that weare in, in that healing space,
(05:07):
in the transformational space.
We would like it to happen veryquickly.
You know, when I work with withmy clients I'm a Reiki master,
life coach and when I work withclients, clients are always
wanting okay.
Well, you know, when am I goingto get better?
When's it going to feel better?
When's this shift going, thisshift gonna happen?
You know, like one session isdone right.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
No listen, the healing is never over the
healing is never over, it's onlydeeper layers, and it's layers
that you're like where did,where did where did this come
from?
Where what?
Speaker 1 (05:41):
this is what I said yes to, uh, and this is how it
gets the that thing that we sayyes to when we don't know what
we're saying yes to?
Yep, everything it's got to bebetter than where I am now.
And, yes, it can be, and, yes,sometimes it.
(06:04):
And then it's like, whoa, waita minute, why does this feel
better than the last time I wentthrough?
Whatever it was I went throughand I saw someone create it very
distinctly.
It's like we think healing isgoing to be like this or it's
going to be like this, andrealistically it's like, oh,
(06:24):
think healing is going to belike this or it's going to be
like this, and realisticallyit's like up, then we're up.
Then we're kind of like we'relike you said, we're always in
this space of healing becausewe're getting, we're opening up
more and we're opening up moreand we're opening up more.
And we began to see things in adifferent way.
And you know the conversationthat I've had with many others,
as we've, as we all have allgone on this journey is you just
(06:47):
have tools that maybe youdidn't have before that help.
I'm not saying it's going tospeed up the process, because
the process is the process.
it is what it is it is uh, andyou know, at least for me, I
think I recognize it faster.
I may not understand it.
I mean, like I don't know ifthat's you know, something that
(07:10):
you experience as well.
It's like oh, I see I'm in aspace, I just don't know what
the space is.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
I find, like the feeling is like oh, this, this,
this feels it feels familiar andforeign.
Right, it feels familiarbecause you're like oh, I, this,
this feels it feels familiarand foreign.
Right, it feels familiarbecause you're like, oh, I've
reached this point before, butthe, the view, the vista, it's
just a totally different.
You're like, okay, but thisplaying field is not the same
(07:38):
where we were before, and soit's foreign and new.
All it's foreign and familiar,all at the same time.
It's the feeling tone that'sfamiliar and it's the playing
field that you're like nope, Iain't been here before.
Why does it feel so familiar?
I don't know about this.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yeah, yes, you're speaking what's in my, in my
head so eloquently.
I was just having thisconversation with my girlfriends
and and I was I was saying youknow, I'm in this space right
now, feels from but this isdifferent, it's not the same.
And you know what tools can Ipull out so that I can get some
(08:19):
clarity, to know what tools togo out and get to begin to help
elevate the elevate I guess theword is elevate me to that next
transition.
You know, and you have to bewilling to want to yes, you have
to be like you.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
It occurs to me as though you have to be committed
to being curious, to beingcurious to discover.
Although you may know somethings, you still don't know a
lot of things.
And so what?
What are the things that youdon't know?
That you're like, all right,we're just, we're just gonna ask
a question and discover what'son the other side of it.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yeah, when they say life is a journey, they're not
joking.
You know the day that are notjoking.
It's, it's, it's true.
Life is a journey, it's adiscovery, and it's the
willingness I think to to feelthe feels, cause that's what we
all try to avoid is feeling thefeels is the oh, I don't like
(09:22):
the way this is is so our wholesurvival mode comes in, and then
survival mode is meant to keepyou safe and and comfortable,
and comfortable is not fun mostof the time.
When you get into that space, Imean, what's it like for you?
What's your journey been so far?
Speaker 2 (09:41):
It has been thrilling and also like what?
This again?
And or okay, this is what I sayyes to, I don't know about this
.
I think we need to renegotiatethis agreement because I don't
know about this, know about this, and in just sitting in that
(10:10):
space with those feelings andreally sitting in, okay, what
are the possibilities on?
the other side of this, likethis moment is uncomfortable.
There's no sense of comfort,ever like at all in this moment.
And I make it through thismoment like what are the
possibilities that are availableto me on the this moment?
Like what are the possibilitiesthat are available to me on the
other side of this?
What are the possibilities thatare available to the
(10:32):
communities that I contribute to, to the family that.
I'm a part of, like what are thepossibilities that I open up?
Because when I open uppossibilities for myself, I open
up possibilities forgenerations beyond me.
So my willing to stand like forme years ago I started legacy
really became a.
(10:54):
It was when my grandparentspassed Both of my grandparents
passed legacy really likebubbled up in me and I was like,
huh, what would it?
I was like what is it look likefor me to stand seven
generations beyond me and lookback.
Who was I and what did I do?
At first it was hard because Iwas like up seven generations
(11:19):
and over the years it's beenlike I stand in both spaces
standing here where I am andstanding there like okay, who
would?
And looking back that's.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
That's very, very powerful to ask that question
and to be able to actually standand say, okay, fast forward
seven generations, what's theimpact been?
And I think it's a perfect wayto ask you about what you do,
because you help bringgenerations into the world.
(11:55):
You are a doula and I am veryfamiliar with what a doula is.
I don't have one, but I know Iknow of them and that some of my
friends and contemporaries haveused doulas and I think it's
such beautiful work.
So I'm going to let you explainwhat a doula is and your your
(12:19):
journey into becoming a doula.
I think that's so important tounderstand what had you take
that path?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Yes, so I'm a full spectrum doula, and a doula is a
birth companion, a birth guide,a birth worker they support.
So, just to make a distinction,there are midwives and there
are doulas, and they do workhand in hand um, especially in
(12:47):
the out of hospital space.
So for home births, for waterbirths, um birth center births,
they, they do work hand in hand.
Midwives, specifically here inthe united states, and what I'm
finding is in a lot of countriesmidwives can actually deliver
your baby, like midwives cancatch the baby and put it on mom
where doulas.
(13:08):
Doulas are your coaches.
They're going to coach youthrough.
They're going to do hands-onbody work.
They may even do energy workwhile you're laboring.
They're going to coach youthrough all of those spaces.
From now, you can work withdoulas from different throughout
different spaces, because youcan work preconception with a
doula.
You can work with doulas fromdifferent throughout different
spaces, because you can workpreconception with a doula.
(13:29):
You can work at conception witha doula, which then is focused
on your pregnancy journey, laborand delivery and then
postpartum.
And so I work with.
I work with expecting familiesand for me, that looks looks
like it includes adoption, itincludes surrogacy, it also like
it is a doula for me.
(13:52):
Me as a doula is focused onintegrating and welcoming the
little ones into your family,and so, and setting your family
up so that you have a foundationof knowledge and empowering
education to really make thechoices that are aligned for
your family.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
I, I'm, I'm taking a deep breath because I'm thinking
, I'm imagining if I had had adoula for both of my uh journeys
, uh, into motherhood, whatdifference it would have made.
For I'm thinking, you know,honestly, my second child
because I was so busy with thefirst one but it was almost like
(14:34):
the second child was like, yeah, it's coming, but coming, but
you know I'm, I'm busy over here, I'm over here.
So you know my, unfortunately,my son didn't get the reading
every night in utero.
He didn't get all of the thingsthat I had set up for my first
child because she's first childand you know, you have I felt
(14:54):
not having any other children.
I had more time to spend when Ihad the second one there were a
couple of years apart and I wasrunning a business and managing
other things that I justhappened to have a baby growing
inside my belly Right, and whata difference that would have
(15:21):
made to just spend the time inbeing in in that, in that
situation, and what brought youto want to be, to partner with
families, um, bringing you know,those next generations into the
world.
However, that is so funny story.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Um, I so I heard I have not personally given birth
to any children yet in this, inthis lifetime and the, a dear
sister friend of mine, had, um,she was pregnant.
She got pregnant in 2020 and itwas like June or July and I
(15:56):
remember like she called me andit was just like a sister friend
, call, you know, call to catchup, hey, how are you, how are
things going?
And I remember being in.
I was in another sister friend.
I was house sitting for asister friend who had gone to
spend time with her family inEngland, and so I was house
sitting for her in San Francisco, her condo in downtown San
(16:20):
Francisco.
And as, while she was away, Ithought it was funny because I
looked, I was like, wait, I,because I saw a lot of doula
books.
And I was like, oh, interesting,I didn't know she was a doula.
And she's like, yeah, she'slike I've delivered, she at the
time she had delivered likethree babies.
We had a doula and she's like,yeah, she's like I've delivered,
she at the time she haddelivered like three babies.
We had a brief conversationbefore she left, whatnot.
(16:40):
So, second sister friend we'reon the phone catching up.
Hey, how are you?
How are things?
And the conversation takes ashift and, as an intuitive, I
was like wait, what's happening?
And I remember her, like Idon't really remember all of the
(17:02):
conversation before we got tothis point, but it got to a
point and I was like wait, I waslike okay, hold on a minute,
give me just one moment.
I was like, let me check in.
And I checked in, just kind ofinternally, I was like spirit,
am I her doula?
And I got a yes and that waslike now, please note, I have
(17:23):
not done, I have not researchedit, I've not.
I was serving youth at the time, working as a CASA, serving
teens and youth in the fostercare system, and I have.
And I was an energy healer anda coach.
And I was like, okay, but Ididn't.
(17:46):
And I was like uh.
So I tell my friend.
I was like okay, I'm going toask you a question and I just
want you to tell me the firstanswer that pops into your mind.
And I asked her.
I said am I your doula?
She said yes.
There was no hesitation, no,like it was immediate.
And I was like what am I goingto do?
I was like, and she all, andimmediately.
(18:10):
She goes from yes to oh, mygosh, I know I'm asking you a
lot, like I know that I willhire somebody else who can do
all the baby things, but I needyou there for me.
And I was just like okay, holdon, hold on, pause, let me
process, let me process.
And I, as I sat there, all likemy mind is going crazy because
(18:31):
it's like how are you going todo this?
You don't know anything aboutthis.
Like all of these thoughts itwas flooding and I was like okay
, let me just let me check inone more time.
I was like is it in my highest?
I was like is it in the highestand best interest of all of us
for me to say yes?
And I got a yes and I was likeokay, and so I said I told my
(18:53):
friend.
I was like yes, I will be your,I will be part of your doula
team, I will be your doula forthis birth.
In the moment that I said yes,all of the thoughts and
questions that were floodedliterally disappeared.
There was so much peace that Iwas like hold up who?
What just happened?
What just happened?
(19:14):
And so that was.
We had that conversation in 2020.
She gave birth to her baby girl.
It was her first birth centerbirth.
It was her first water birth.
Although she had five otherchildren, this was her sixth
child and this was her first outof hospital experience.
And so, february 20th 2021, shegave birth and I was like, okay
(19:39):
, great.
And I was like, okay, that's,you know, that's a friend,
whatever.
A year later, I am chatting withanother sister friend.
I was like I'm loving how allmy sister friends seem to
deliver these messages to me.
Um, but I'm chatting withanother sister friend and she's
sharing with me a reading thatshe had gotten from a psychic
(20:00):
medium and she was like, yeah,you know, the medium said that
she sees like one or two morechildren for me.
Now, please note, this sisterfriend already has two children.
And I was like, oh, I get to bea new auntie.
She was like girl, what are youtalking about?
You already an auntie, like Ialready got to.
(20:20):
I was like I know, but I get tobe a renewed auntie and her,
her response was she was likegirl, I don't know what you over
there like, I don't know whatyou're doing over there.
She was like because if thereare any more children coming
through this body, she was likeyou're definitely gonna be the
doula.
I'm sorry, what huh?
(20:41):
And it our conversation.
So we go from giggling, laughing, joking to she.
It's like shifts on a dime.
Because the question I askedher was I was like I don't know
what I'd bring to that space,like why she like full on tears,
(21:04):
she is bawling as she channelsthis message for me.
She's like Annalisa, the babiesneed you.
They need the safe andgrounding space that you provide
.
Like the babies need you.
And I was just like and she'sbawling and I was like, oh my
gosh.
I was like okay, okay, I got it.
I got it and when sheintegrated back into her body,
(21:28):
she's like I don't really knowwhy I was crying, like it wasn't
sad, like I don't.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
And she's not even pregnant yet, right?
Speaker 2 (21:37):
nope, no baby in utro , quite okay nope, and I was
like, okay, that day I sentbecause I had been following, uh
, a master doula and a midwifestudent for some time.
That I just I loved her style,loved her style loved her style,
loved how she shared love, howshe integrated all of the.
(22:00):
She integrated both Africantraditions and indigenous
traditions, south American,mexican, like all of these, just
very a breadth of traditionsthat she integrates into her
practice as a doula, and so Isent her a message.
I sent her an email and I waslike hey, I know that you've
(22:23):
been doing doula trainings.
When is your next one?
Please note that this is aSaturday that I sent her.
Saturday I had the conversationwith my sister friend who
channeled the beautiful message.
Saturday I sent this email tothe doula teacher that I was
like yes, I want to be trainedby you.
She sent me a message back thatsaid oh yeah, our next doula
(22:44):
training starts on tuesday.
By monday I was registered andtuesday I was in my first doula
training class, and what wasinteresting for me about this
journey was once I said yes tobeing a doula.
I had this dream and in thisdream.
(23:05):
So you know the in the south,the huge plantation houses with
the wraparound porch, and theytypically have.
When you come out the frontdoor, it's usually either a
large front door, a double frontdoor.
You walk down like two steps toget down to the ground or
wherever the sidewalk is.
So I'm literally in this dream.
I'm sitting on the steps of thefront porch and all of a sudden
(23:29):
, all these babies, like alltoddlers, because they're
walking, um, they all come andthey, they're all like running
up to me, super excited, andthey have their arms
outstretched and they come upand they give me a hug.
And there's so many of them Ican't wrap that my arms around
(23:51):
them all and so they'reliterally leaning into each
other, hugging each other,hugging me and I was like it
just it was so endearing andwarming and I was like, okay,
spirit, I got it, I will takethis journey.
(24:13):
So I have been a doula eversince and it has been like I
love it.
I absolutely love it.
It is such an honor to be insuch a, to be welcomed in such
an intimate space with familiesand to serve as a guide as they
navigate their, their birthjourney.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
I think the interesting part of your story
when, when, what I hear in it isthis was not on your radar,
like any, there was no.
Was there ever a thought likeI'd like to help women through
their pregnancies?
Speaker 2 (24:53):
It.
It wasn't so funny enough.
So last Thanksgiving Iconnected with another sister
friend and it's been years sinceshe and I actually had a really
good like catch up conversation.
And she's like Annalisa, whatare you doing now?
And I was like, well, I'm now afull spectrum doula working
(25:13):
full time in my holisticwellness business.
And she was like, oh, you tookthe path.
I was like, wait, what she waslike Annalisa?
I remember in February of 2020,because I participate in South
American indigenous plantmedicine ceremonies- Okay.
And so what I had been sharingwith them as I was like yo, all
(25:36):
my journeys I've been gettingpregnant, like energetically
pregnant, and I remember the onejourney specifically where I
could literally feel like it waslike my womb was contracting
and I was like what is this,what is happening?
And so I remember sharing thatwith her and I was like a doula,
(26:02):
I don't, I don't know.
And so, as my sister friendswere just inquiring and asking
questions, it was like she'slike Alisa.
We asked you like are you goingto take the path, Are you going
to explore it?
And all of your answers were Idon't know, I don't know, I
don't know.
And she was like so you tookthe path.
(26:22):
And I was like, wow, so theseed likely for being a doula
got planted seven years ago andI took the path, path, I said
yes to the path.
Well, I said yes to being adoula and then said yes to the
(26:43):
path of being a doula maybe fouryears ago join the miracles
directory, where healers connectand wellness begins.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Join a community of trusted holistic professionals,
or find your path to healing andpeace.
Visit themiraclesdirectorycom.
Start your journey today, and Ithink it's important that we
get to hear this part of yourstory.
For those who are on a path orsomething is growing inside of
(27:13):
them or signs are coming fromeverywhere, to be open to saying
yes to discovery, and you knowwe are.
I find that we're alwayslooking for like, what's the
meaning?
Why am I here?
What, what, what is like?
(27:33):
What the hell am I doing here?
Aside from feeling like I'm anangst 90% of the time, you know
it's like what.
So what is like?
What the hell am I doing here?
Aside from feeling like I'm anangst 90 of the time, you know
it's like what.
So what is all of this for?
You know, those of those youknow are to our listeners, who
are people who want to behealers, people who are looking
to work with a healer.
Things work in their own time.
(27:55):
I've learned this now in myfifth decade of life that things
take their time.
We can't force the universe tobend to our will.
It's because there's alreadysomething there.
We come here with a mission andthen, well, we know what it is
(28:19):
before we get here.
And then we get here, we forgetwhat it is and we've got to
unravel so that we can be ourbest selves in discovering,
becoming a doula, becoming forme, uh, a reiki master, someone
in the healing path.
And if you had asked me sevenyears ago if I would be an
energy healer, I would have beenlike, yeah, whack, no, I don't
(28:41):
believe any of that stuff yes,it's funny how.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
It's funny how things shift, like almost coming full
circle and so even coming fullcircle.
And so, even as I've, as I'veworked with, as I work with my
clients, there's sometimes I'minspired to ask my mom questions
(29:09):
and something I, something Iwas inspired to ask her was mom,
who was there?
Like, who was there when I wasborn?
She was like I don't know whereyour father was, he was off
doing whatever he was up to.
He he said he needed to go a, b, c through z.
So I don't know.
She was like but you're um, butterry was there, and so terry
(29:30):
is a dear friend of the familywho has just lovingly I call her
auntie and I know on Terry knewmy parents, like before I was
even a thought.
What I did not know is that shewas the.
She was my mom's labor coachwhen my mom was giving birth to
(29:51):
me and I was like, wow, like on,Ontario holds a very dear space
in my heart just because of whoshe is and how she supported me
along my journey, was standingand advocating for my mom and
(30:21):
coaching my mom through thetransformation that is birth.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
I was like wow, okay, I got that it was just, it was
really endearing yeah, I can, Ican feel that, yeah, so my
question is, my question is nowyou, you found the path, you're
(30:45):
on the path.
What is it like for yourclients to have you, who are on
your path, walk along with themas they're on their path?
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Yeah, it is.
It's so funny.
So for new year's I send all ofmy clients um happy new year's
virtual e card.
And one of them, um, respondedand he was like thank you so
much for being a part of ourbest year, yet they gave birth.
(31:19):
Now what's hilarious?
Like I, absolutely I love allof my clients and this
particular couple was hilarious.
They also hold a special placebecause they gave birth to their
son on my birthday.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Yeah, I feel that us auspicious.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
Coincidental but not coincidental is that I arrived.
I don't even know if they know,but I arrived at their home to
support them in labor, laboringat home at my birth time, and I
was like message received spirit.
I got it like message receivedum.
(31:59):
Message received um.
And so it was just.
It was beautiful and to hear hewas like thank you so much it
was dad who responded he waslike thank you so much for being
a part of our best year yet itis.
I find that my clients feel like, oh, okay, I don't have to
carry, like don't have to carryall this weight by myself
(32:21):
because there's in as you'repreparing for birth, as I'm sure
you know, there's a wealth ofpossibilities information,
shoulds, should, nots, do nots,scary stories, great stories,
like, and you're like what am Iwhat, what, what, what am I
doing here?
What, what story am I I gonnahave out of this?
(32:42):
Um, and so really being able toguide them in a loving way and
empower them regardless, likewhat comes up.
And so one of the things that Ido with my clients is we talk
about like worst fears, like,okay, what is your worst fear
and what is what plan can wecreate such that you are
(33:04):
empowered?
through it and so it's like, ifplan a does not work out,
because you know babies havetheir own time and way that they
want to move.
So if plan a doesn't, you know,if plan a does not work out, so
we have an.
If this plan b, if this plan c,if this plan, so the okay.
(33:26):
So we have.
And I was like, and I'm notgonna force you inside of your
labor or delivery to be like yousaid you wanted, I'm just like,
nope, that's not how this goesdon't do that with the ladies.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Who is pushing a baby out?
Speaker 2 (33:43):
I was like what I will say is hey, when we talked
about this before, you said youwanted this.
These are the options right now.
What do you still want?
This, or do you want somethingelse?
Whatever you choose, I totallyhonor it's.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
It truly is a coach, someone who's in your corner,
advocating for what you need andreminding you of what you said
you needed and wanted, andsometimes you're right things
happen.
I I remember this is tmi, but Iremember saying I want a mirror
(34:19):
, I want to see the birth, andthen I had the mirror.
I don't want to see the mirror.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
Right.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
And then at that, in that moment, people saying are
you sure?
Are you sure?
Oh my gosh, please don't ask meif I'm sure, cause one of my
fists are going to hit your face.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
And it's so.
It's also honoring, because sobirth is, it's both a sexual
event and it's atransformational event, and so
there is an you.
You are purely a channel inbringing and birthing that baby
into this world, this world asyou birth.
(35:09):
I find like especially, a lotof what I've noticed is moms who
are planning or people who areplanning to get pregnant or
planning for pregnancy, planningfor children, and especially if
it's their first, they'rereally scared.
Yes, that's totally viable,that's totally valid because, as
you give birth to this child,you also rebirth yourself.
So every version of you thatyou thought you knew dies away.
(35:34):
So there's a there's thisrebirth process that you are
going through in addition tocarrying this life and bringing
it into this world, and so it'stotally valid, and I'm simply
here to support you as you, asyou reemerge.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
That is.
I've never heard it put thatway and it's, and I can say, yes
, that's valid and it's it'strue, because at that moment,
you've never been a motherbefore, even when you have six,
seven, eight, you've never beena mother of adult children
living in my house.
So this is a new version of mom.
You know, I'm trying to figureit out.
(36:28):
Well, I think we need, you know, we, we as women, and men too,
but I'm speaking from a femaleexperience.
I feel like it's like you needa doula for your whole life,
because the children, theychange, you change, everybody's
going through this, this change,and it's it's nice to have that
(36:53):
someone there for you.
Whatever change you're goingthrough, what being a parent,
whether it's from the birthprocess to you know, letting
them go and, you know, havetheir own lives, it is the first
time for everything.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
Absolutely, absolutely, and so like
households that have multiplechildren.
I was, like you're all as oldas the youngest child in the
house.
For real Literally when you,when you give birth to that
second, third, fourth, eighthchild, you're all learning to
roll over, you're all learningto crawl, you're all learning to
(37:33):
stand, you're all learning towalk, to run.
Like all of those milestonesyou're going through yourself,
stones, you're going throughyourself.
It may be expressed differentbecause you're at a new level,
it's just, it's this rebirthprocess and that happens
throughout the child's life.
So, totally, like right, neverbeen a mom of like listen, y'all
(37:57):
are a new age.
I've never been a mom of twochildren this age.
This is we.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
We gotta reassess and I think we have to give
ourselves space for that.
You know, a lot of us don'tallow ourselves the space for
that, even during pregnancy, youknow.
You think, oh, my mom pregnancywas like this and her mom's
pregnancy was like this, and mybest friend's pregnancy was like
this, or she got pregnant likethis, and why am I struggling?
Or why is it so easy?
And my friend is strugglinglike we?
(38:23):
We have all of these thingsgoing on in our heads and, uh,
many of us especially dependingculturally, where you come from,
you you are supposed to be themost elated and the most
beautiful and the most, I don'tknow, know like fairy, like I
just can't.
You know what I mean Floatingacross the world because you are
(38:44):
going to give birth and do whatsome would say is one of the
most important tasks on on, youknow, in the planet.
But sometimes you don't feellike that and you don't have
anyone to talk to because youhave to be in the space of oh,
but you're going to be a mom,and it is.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
I can totally relate.
I was having a conversationwith a client and what she said
was I'm trying to be reallyhappy and joyful and grateful
for this baby.
And I was like, okay, got that.
(39:29):
And, mama, I invite you to giveyourself space and grace.
You don't have to be anythingother than who you are and where
you are.
And right where you are, it isperfect.
So if there's sadness, ifthere's grief, if there's fear,
if there's frustration, like,give yourself space to feel and
(39:53):
be with it.
It will pass.
And give yourself the space andthe grace to be with it.
Nothing is wrong with any ofthose emotions.
They're natural and she was likeoh my gosh, like I haven't been
able, I haven't been able tolike.
(40:14):
It was like I gave herpermission to actually have the
conversation with me because shehad shared like I I'm not able
to have this conversation reallywith anybody else, including my
partner, because nobody seemsto understand.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
I was like well, it's not really for anybody to
understand and like with me, youwill always have the space to
be with what is exactly there,whatever that is what a gift
that is to a family and you knowfrom the perspective of, of
hearing how you support and justin this instance is with the
(40:55):
example that you gave, shecouldn't, you can't even share
with your partner.
And then sometimes we show upin some kind of ways because
we're dealing with something andthey're thinking is this
pregnant like, is this yourpregnancy?
What is happening?
I don't understand what.
What happened to my wife?
Where did she go?
Or my partner, where I?
I don't know, because we, wefeel the person who is pregnant
(41:18):
feels like, well, I should behappier, this something should
be happening and to have someonein their corner who doesn't
have their own agenda.
I think that's important for usto get, as, as you know, in
with any coach or with anysupport system out there, to to
call upon someone who doesn'thave their have an agenda and
(41:40):
just wants only what's workablein your life and what's good for
you and your in the client'slife.
I don't think many of us knowwhat a great and beautiful role
a doula can play in thatcraziness time that happens,
because for some people, yeah,it's smooth and it's beautiful
(42:01):
and it's lovely, some it's not.
And either way, to have someonecelebrate with you.
Like you know, you might have apartner who's so scared
themselves they don't even knowhow to celebrate with you
because you're so excited, orthe reverse, and to have that,
and I think what's what theremiss thing is, I'm going to
say, is that, in our Westernculture thing is I'm going to
say, is that in our Westernculture, we're very
(42:23):
individualized.
You know you do things on yourown.
You need to be strong.
You need to be powerfulCulturally, as both you and I
are women of color.
We need to be strong.
We, like you, know you've gotto put on game face all the time
.
Vulnerability is something youleave you know, I don't know on
(42:43):
the toilet when you're sittingdown and crying by yourself
where no one can see you.
To have someone in your corneris so important, especially at
this time of your life.
What I'm what really is remissis that it's it's not readily
available, it's not part of theconversation you have with your
(43:06):
doctor.
When you go and you, you knowyou go the doctor they say, yes,
you're pregnant, and then it'slike, oh, we have this for me.
It was, um, my family doctor,thank god, for my first child
was an ob-gyn as well.
So, like that was.
I'm saying from experience, itwas nice to have someone that
was there the whole time.
But with my second child, um, Ihad a, uh, I had a doctor who I
(43:27):
saw a couple of times, theOBGYN, and then in the hospital
somebody else delivered my babyand I don't even remember what
he looks like, I don't rememberhis name.
Yeah, for such for me, likesuch an important, like.
There's a big distinctionbetween two and there was never
a conversation of do you want towork with a midwife?
Would you like to have a dolike what would?
How would you like your, yourpregnancy experience to be like
(43:51):
they're talking about, your?
You know, at the end of thenine months or 10 months that
we're pregnant for, but no one'stalking about.
Well, what would you like yourpregnancy to be like?
Cause it's all every sometimes.
You know what I mean Absolutely, it's all over the road.
So what are?
What do you suggest that we cando to create more awareness
(44:16):
around the importance and thesupport of of a doula?
Because I think we do know veryclearly.
We're very clear mostly on whatmidwives are and I'm glad you
made the distinction earlier on.
So, as you know.
Your parting thoughts before weend our conversation is how can
we help our sisters feelsupported on their journey of
(44:41):
pregnancy?
Speaker 2 (44:57):
Listen more than we speak, because it's very often
that they're telling us exactlywhat we need, what they need in
our mind.
We're like no, you don't like.
It's where we're operating fromour own perception and we're
not listening.
And so listen and askopen-ended questions.
(45:19):
How would you like me tosupport you and ask open-ended
questions?
How would you like me tosupport you?
What does help look like foryou?
Because what I've, I've, whatI've noticed with my clients,
especially when I'm setting themup postpartum for their family
to support them, is all help isnot the help you need or want.
Yes, indeed, and so, reallybeing curious, what would make a
(45:44):
difference for you in, in,especially postpartum?
Because postpartum is a journeythat it's very distinct.
Child to child is no twopostpartum journeys are the same
and help looks different.
Sometimes it's food, sometimesit's.
Can you just come over and washthe dishes, like I?
(46:04):
I just can't.
And, as you know, with babies,baby bottles and all the things,
there's a rotation of dishesthat is very regular and
consistent and laundry that too,that too, and so sometimes it's
just as simple as can you comeover and clean my kitchen and do
the laundry, Like that wouldjust that would make a huge
(46:26):
difference.
And so it's those little thingsthat we can't, that we don't
necessarily think about.
But if we were to ask thequestion like what would make a
difference for you right now,where you are in your journey Is
?
it just for me to come and sitand talk with you.
So you have an another, so youhave an, especially for stay at
home moms.
So you have another adult totalk to and you're not just, you
(46:48):
know, talking to the kids allday and assessing for yourself
is that something that you cansupport in?
Because, that ability, to thatability and capacity to show up
for your cousin, your sister,your homegirl, whomever who's on
(47:11):
their birth journey, it cantotally make all the difference
in how they experiencemotherhood.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
So beautiful experience motherhood so
beautiful.
So how do we connect with you?
Asides from the miraclesdirectory how do we connect with
you If we are looking for thatsupport or we know someone who's
looking for that support oreven want to get to know more
about doulas or becoming a doula, how do we connect with you?
Speaker 2 (47:40):
So I am am I'm on instagram at cosmic mothering is
my handle um.
Feel free to email at hello,cosmicmotheringcom.
Or simply give a call um 323452-7174.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
This has been such a beautiful conversation and very
you.
Just.
I'm so glad you do what you do.
The mamas and the babies andthe dads and the partners that
get to experience your supportare very, very lucky.
Thank you for joining us todayon Healers Talk Healing.
We hope you've been inspiredand empowered on your holistic
healing journey.
If you've enjoyed today'sepisode and want to continue
learning and growing with us,don't forget to subscribe,
(48:32):
follow, rate and review ourpodcast.
Your feedback and support meanthe world to us.
Remember healing is a lifelongjourney and you have the power
to transform your life inprofound ways.
Stay curious, keep exploringand never stop believing in your
own capacity for healing.
Welcome to Healers Talk Healing, the podcast where
we gather to explore the art andscience of holistic healing,
uncovering the secrets to ahappier, healthier you.
I'm your host, nina Ganguly,and together we will delve into
the intriguing world of holistichealing, delving into the
mind-body connection, ancientwisdom and natural remedies to
(00:27):
the mind-body connection,ancient wisdom and natural
remedies.
Get ready for enlighteningstories, thought-provoking
expert interviews and practicaltips that will empower you to
unlock your true potential andembrace a vibrant, balanced life
.
Whether you're an experiencedwellness enthusiast or simply
curious about the power ofhealing, join us on this
exhilarating journey as we sharethe wisdom and insights that
(00:47):
can truly transform your life.
It's time to embark on a voyagetowards a happier, healthier
you.
So, without further ado, let'sdive into the captivating world
of Healers Talk Healing.
Welcome to another episode ofHealers Talk Healing, the show
where we explore the inspiringjourneys of healing,
transformation and empowerment.
(01:09):
I'm your host, nina Ganguly,and today we have an incredibly
special episode lined up for you.
I'm thrilled to be joined byAnne-Lisa, a remarkable
individual whose work as afull-spectrum doula has touched
and transformed many lives.
In our conversation, we uncoverthe profound meaning of healing
(01:31):
, the continuous journey itentails and how Anne-Lise
defines it as transformation ofhabits and ways of being that
serve not only ourselves butfuture generations.
Anne-lise shares her inspiringjourney to becoming a doula,
including the spiritual callingand the serendipitous moments
(01:53):
that led her to this path, Fromsupporting families through
preconception to postpartum.
Anne-lise's story is atestament to the power of
following one's intuition andthe immense impact of
compassionate support duringchildbirth.
Whether you're on a healingjourney yourself, considering
(02:13):
starting a family or simplycurious about the role of doulas
, this episode offers valuableinsights and heartfelt stories.
Anne-lise's wisdom andexperience highlight the
importance of community legacyand the continuous process of
healing.
So sit back, relax and join usfor an enlightening and
(02:34):
uplifting conversation.
Let's get started.
I am very excited to speak toyou today, annalisa.
It is an honor to speak tosomeone who does what you do.
You know, as a doula, we haveso much to talk about.
But before we get into thatworld, I'm going to ask you the
(02:54):
question that I ask all of ourguests, which is what is your
definition of healing?
Speaker 2 (03:02):
My.
So I define healing astransform, the transformation of
those habits, ways of being umlearnings that no longer serve
us to, and transforming it intowhat will serve not only us
(03:26):
individually but serve us as ageneration, like serving the
generations beyond us.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, leaving that legacy,planting a seed, taking it
forward, is it's powerful, andsometimes it can feel like it's
a thing, like, oh, it's a thingto have to create that for our,
the people that come after us,those who are going to come
(03:58):
after us, but what a great giftto be able to start the legacy,
to be able to start the legacy.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Absolutely.
We plant inside of that healingprocess.
We uproot the things that nolonger serve our legacy and we
plant the seeds of trees that wewon't be able to experience the
shade of.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
That is some poetry in motion.
It's so true, though, like it's, there is something to be said
about we won't be experiencingit.
You know, we as humans are soin this space, in the world,
looking to that instantgratification.
But you know, when you'resowing, it takes something to be
(04:46):
able to say, oh, I'm not goingnot necessarily, but I.
It comes in the space that weare in, in that healing space,
(05:07):
in the transformational space.
We would like it to happen veryquickly.
You know, when I work with withmy clients I'm a Reiki master,
life coach and when I work withclients, clients are always
wanting okay.
Well, you know, when am I goingto get better?
When's it going to feel better?
When's this shift going, thisshift gonna happen?
You know, like one session isdone right.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
No listen, the healing is never over the
healing is never over, it's onlydeeper layers, and it's layers
that you're like where did,where did where did this come
from?
Where what?
Speaker 1 (05:41):
this is what I said yes to, uh, and this is how it
gets the that thing that we sayyes to when we don't know what
we're saying yes to?
Yep, everything it's got to bebetter than where I am now.
And, yes, it can be, and, yes,sometimes it.
(06:04):
And then it's like, whoa, waita minute, why does this feel
better than the last time I wentthrough?
Whatever it was I went throughand I saw someone create it very
distinctly.
It's like we think healing isgoing to be like this or it's
going to be like this, andrealistically it's like, oh,
(06:24):
think healing is going to belike this or it's going to be
like this, and realisticallyit's like up, then we're up.
Then we're kind of like we'relike you said, we're always in
this space of healing becausewe're getting, we're opening up
more and we're opening up moreand we're opening up more.
And we began to see things in adifferent way.
And you know the conversationthat I've had with many others,
as we've, as we all have allgone on this journey is you just
(06:47):
have tools that maybe youdidn't have before that help.
I'm not saying it's going tospeed up the process, because
the process is the process.
it is what it is it is uh, andyou know, at least for me, I
think I recognize it faster.
I may not understand it.
I mean, like I don't know ifthat's you know, something that
(07:10):
you experience as well.
It's like oh, I see I'm in aspace, I just don't know what
the space is.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
I find, like the feeling is like oh, this, this,
this feels it feels familiar andforeign.
Right, it feels familiarbecause you're like oh, I, this,
this feels it feels familiarand foreign.
Right, it feels familiarbecause you're like, oh, I've
reached this point before, butthe, the view, the vista, it's
just a totally different.
You're like, okay, but thisplaying field is not the same
(07:38):
where we were before, and soit's foreign and new.
All it's foreign and familiar,all at the same time.
It's the feeling tone that'sfamiliar and it's the playing
field that you're like nope, Iain't been here before.
Why does it feel so familiar?
I don't know about this.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yeah, yes, you're speaking what's in my, in my
head so eloquently.
I was just having thisconversation with my girlfriends
and and I was I was saying youknow, I'm in this space right
now, feels from but this isdifferent, it's not the same.
And you know what tools can Ipull out so that I can get some
(08:19):
clarity, to know what tools togo out and get to begin to help
elevate the elevate I guess theword is elevate me to that next
transition.
You know, and you have to bewilling to want to yes, you have
to be like you.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
It occurs to me as though you have to be committed
to being curious, to beingcurious to discover.
Although you may know somethings, you still don't know a
lot of things.
And so what?
What are the things that youdon't know?
That you're like, all right,we're just, we're just gonna ask
a question and discover what'son the other side of it.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yeah, when they say life is a journey, they're not
joking.
You know the day that are notjoking.
It's, it's, it's true.
Life is a journey, it's adiscovery, and it's the
willingness I think to to feelthe feels, cause that's what we
all try to avoid is feeling thefeels is the oh, I don't like
(09:22):
the way this is is so our wholesurvival mode comes in, and then
survival mode is meant to keepyou safe and and comfortable,
and comfortable is not fun mostof the time.
When you get into that space, Imean, what's it like for you?
What's your journey been so far?
Speaker 2 (09:41):
It has been thrilling and also like what?
This again?
And or okay, this is what I sayyes to, I don't know about this
.
I think we need to renegotiatethis agreement because I don't
know about this, know about this, and in just sitting in that
(10:10):
space with those feelings andreally sitting in, okay, what
are the possibilities on?
the other side of this, likethis moment is uncomfortable.
There's no sense of comfort,ever like at all in this moment.
And I make it through thismoment like what are the
possibilities that are availableto me on the this moment?
Like what are the possibilitiesthat are available to me on the
other side of this?
What are the possibilities thatare available to the
(10:32):
communities that I contribute to, to the family that.
I'm a part of, like what are thepossibilities that I open up?
Because when I open uppossibilities for myself, I open
up possibilities forgenerations beyond me.
So my willing to stand like forme years ago I started legacy
really became a.
(10:54):
It was when my grandparentspassed Both of my grandparents
passed legacy really likebubbled up in me and I was like,
huh, what would it?
I was like what is it look likefor me to stand seven
generations beyond me and lookback.
Who was I and what did I do?
At first it was hard because Iwas like up seven generations
(11:19):
and over the years it's beenlike I stand in both spaces
standing here where I am andstanding there like okay, who
would?
And looking back that's.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
That's very, very powerful to ask that question
and to be able to actually standand say, okay, fast forward
seven generations, what's theimpact been?
And I think it's a perfect wayto ask you about what you do,
because you help bringgenerations into the world.
(11:55):
You are a doula and I am veryfamiliar with what a doula is.
I don't have one, but I know Iknow of them and that some of my
friends and contemporaries haveused doulas and I think it's
such beautiful work.
So I'm going to let you explainwhat a doula is and your your
(12:19):
journey into becoming a doula.
I think that's so important tounderstand what had you take
that path?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Yes, so I'm a full spectrum doula, and a doula is a
birth companion, a birth guide,a birth worker they support.
So, just to make a distinction,there are midwives and there
are doulas, and they do workhand in hand um, especially in
(12:47):
the out of hospital space.
So for home births, for waterbirths, um birth center births,
they, they do work hand in hand.
Midwives, specifically here inthe united states, and what I'm
finding is in a lot of countriesmidwives can actually deliver
your baby, like midwives cancatch the baby and put it on mom
where doulas.
(13:08):
Doulas are your coaches.
They're going to coach youthrough.
They're going to do hands-onbody work.
They may even do energy workwhile you're laboring.
They're going to coach youthrough all of those spaces.
From now, you can work withdoulas from different throughout
different spaces, because youcan work preconception with a
doula.
You can work with doulas fromdifferent throughout different
spaces, because you can workpreconception with a doula.
(13:29):
You can work at conception witha doula, which then is focused
on your pregnancy journey, laborand delivery and then
postpartum.
And so I work with.
I work with expecting familiesand for me, that looks looks
like it includes adoption, itincludes surrogacy, it also like
it is a doula for me.
(13:52):
Me as a doula is focused onintegrating and welcoming the
little ones into your family,and so, and setting your family
up so that you have a foundationof knowledge and empowering
education to really make thechoices that are aligned for
your family.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
I, I'm, I'm taking a deep breath because I'm thinking
, I'm imagining if I had had adoula for both of my uh journeys
, uh, into motherhood, whatdifference it would have made.
For I'm thinking, you know,honestly, my second child
because I was so busy with thefirst one but it was almost like
(14:34):
the second child was like, yeah, it's coming, but coming, but
you know I'm, I'm busy over here, I'm over here.
So you know my, unfortunately,my son didn't get the reading
every night in utero.
He didn't get all of the thingsthat I had set up for my first
child because she's first childand you know, you have I felt
(14:54):
not having any other children.
I had more time to spend when Ihad the second one there were a
couple of years apart and I wasrunning a business and managing
other things that I justhappened to have a baby growing
inside my belly Right, and whata difference that would have
(15:21):
made to just spend the time inbeing in in that, in that
situation, and what brought youto want to be, to partner with
families, um, bringing you know,those next generations into the
world.
However, that is so funny story.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Um, I so I heard I have not personally given birth
to any children yet in this, inthis lifetime and the, a dear
sister friend of mine, had, um,she was pregnant.
She got pregnant in 2020 and itwas like June or July and I
(15:56):
remember like she called me andit was just like a sister friend
, call, you know, call to catchup, hey, how are you, how are
things going?
And I remember being in.
I was in another sister friend.
I was house sitting for asister friend who had gone to
spend time with her family inEngland, and so I was house
sitting for her in San Francisco, her condo in downtown San
(16:20):
Francisco.
And as, while she was away, Ithought it was funny because I
looked, I was like, wait, I,because I saw a lot of doula
books.
And I was like, oh, interesting,I didn't know she was a doula.
And she's like, yeah, she'slike I've delivered, she at the
time she had delivered likethree babies.
We had a doula and she's like,yeah, she's like I've delivered,
she at the time she haddelivered like three babies.
We had a brief conversationbefore she left, whatnot.
(16:40):
So, second sister friend we'reon the phone catching up.
Hey, how are you?
How are things?
And the conversation takes ashift and, as an intuitive, I
was like wait, what's happening?
And I remember her, like Idon't really remember all of the
(17:02):
conversation before we got tothis point, but it got to a
point and I was like wait, I waslike okay, hold on a minute,
give me just one moment.
I was like, let me check in.
And I checked in, just kind ofinternally, I was like spirit,
am I her doula?
And I got a yes and that waslike now, please note, I have
(17:23):
not done, I have not researchedit, I've not.
I was serving youth at the time, working as a CASA, serving
teens and youth in the fostercare system, and I have.
And I was an energy healer anda coach.
And I was like, okay, but Ididn't.
(17:46):
And I was like uh.
So I tell my friend.
I was like okay, I'm going toask you a question and I just
want you to tell me the firstanswer that pops into your mind.
And I asked her.
I said am I your doula?
She said yes.
There was no hesitation, no,like it was immediate.
And I was like what am I goingto do?
I was like, and she all, andimmediately.
(18:10):
She goes from yes to oh, mygosh, I know I'm asking you a
lot, like I know that I willhire somebody else who can do
all the baby things, but I needyou there for me.
And I was just like okay, holdon, hold on, pause, let me
process, let me process.
And I, as I sat there, all likemy mind is going crazy because
(18:31):
it's like how are you going todo this?
You don't know anything aboutthis.
Like all of these thoughts itwas flooding and I was like okay
, let me just let me check inone more time.
I was like is it in my highest?
I was like is it in the highestand best interest of all of us
for me to say yes?
And I got a yes and I was likeokay, and so I said I told my
(18:53):
friend.
I was like yes, I will be your,I will be part of your doula
team, I will be your doula forthis birth.
In the moment that I said yes,all of the thoughts and
questions that were floodedliterally disappeared.
There was so much peace that Iwas like hold up who?
What just happened?
What just happened?
(19:14):
And so that was.
We had that conversation in 2020.
She gave birth to her baby girl.
It was her first birth centerbirth.
It was her first water birth.
Although she had five otherchildren, this was her sixth
child and this was her first outof hospital experience.
And so, february 20th 2021, shegave birth and I was like, okay
(19:39):
, great.
And I was like, okay, that's,you know, that's a friend,
whatever.
A year later, I am chatting withanother sister friend.
I was like I'm loving how allmy sister friends seem to
deliver these messages to me.
Um, but I'm chatting withanother sister friend and she's
sharing with me a reading thatshe had gotten from a psychic
(20:00):
medium and she was like, yeah,you know, the medium said that
she sees like one or two morechildren for me.
Now, please note, this sisterfriend already has two children.
And I was like, oh, I get to bea new auntie.
She was like girl, what are youtalking about?
You already an auntie, like Ialready got to.
(20:20):
I was like I know, but I get tobe a renewed auntie and her,
her response was she was likegirl, I don't know what you over
there like, I don't know whatyou're doing over there.
She was like because if thereare any more children coming
through this body, she was likeyou're definitely gonna be the
doula.
I'm sorry, what huh?
(20:41):
And it our conversation.
So we go from giggling, laughing, joking to she.
It's like shifts on a dime.
Because the question I askedher was I was like I don't know
what I'd bring to that space,like why she like full on tears,
(21:04):
she is bawling as she channelsthis message for me.
She's like Annalisa, the babiesneed you.
They need the safe andgrounding space that you provide
.
Like the babies need you.
And I was just like and she'sbawling and I was like, oh my
gosh.
I was like okay, okay, I got it.
I got it and when sheintegrated back into her body,
(21:28):
she's like I don't really knowwhy I was crying, like it wasn't
sad, like I don't.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
And she's not even pregnant yet, right?
Speaker 2 (21:37):
nope, no baby in utro , quite okay nope, and I was
like, okay, that day I sentbecause I had been following, uh
, a master doula and a midwifestudent for some time.
That I just I loved her style,loved her style loved her style,
loved how she shared love, howshe integrated all of the.
(22:00):
She integrated both Africantraditions and indigenous
traditions, south American,mexican, like all of these, just
very a breadth of traditionsthat she integrates into her
practice as a doula, and so Isent her a message.
I sent her an email and I waslike hey, I know that you've
(22:23):
been doing doula trainings.
When is your next one?
Please note that this is aSaturday that I sent her.
Saturday I had the conversationwith my sister friend who
channeled the beautiful message.
Saturday I sent this email tothe doula teacher that I was
like yes, I want to be trainedby you.
She sent me a message back thatsaid oh yeah, our next doula
(22:44):
training starts on tuesday.
By monday I was registered andtuesday I was in my first doula
training class, and what wasinteresting for me about this
journey was once I said yes tobeing a doula.
I had this dream and in thisdream.
(23:05):
So you know the in the south,the huge plantation houses with
the wraparound porch, and theytypically have.
When you come out the frontdoor, it's usually either a
large front door, a double frontdoor.
You walk down like two steps toget down to the ground or
wherever the sidewalk is.
So I'm literally in this dream.
I'm sitting on the steps of thefront porch and all of a sudden
(23:29):
, all these babies, like alltoddlers, because they're
walking, um, they all come andthey, they're all like running
up to me, super excited, andthey have their arms
outstretched and they come upand they give me a hug.
And there's so many of them Ican't wrap that my arms around
(23:51):
them all and so they'reliterally leaning into each
other, hugging each other,hugging me and I was like it
just it was so endearing andwarming and I was like, okay,
spirit, I got it, I will takethis journey.
(24:13):
So I have been a doula eversince and it has been like I
love it.
I absolutely love it.
It is such an honor to be insuch a, to be welcomed in such
an intimate space with familiesand to serve as a guide as they
navigate their, their birthjourney.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
I think the interesting part of your story
when, when, what I hear in it isthis was not on your radar,
like any, there was no.
Was there ever a thought likeI'd like to help women through
their pregnancies?
Speaker 2 (24:53):
It.
It wasn't so funny enough.
So last Thanksgiving Iconnected with another sister
friend and it's been years sinceshe and I actually had a really
good like catch up conversation.
And she's like Annalisa, whatare you doing now?
And I was like, well, I'm now afull spectrum doula working
(25:13):
full time in my holisticwellness business.
And she was like, oh, you tookthe path.
I was like, wait, what she waslike Annalisa?
I remember in February of 2020,because I participate in South
American indigenous plantmedicine ceremonies- Okay.
And so what I had been sharingwith them as I was like yo, all
(25:36):
my journeys I've been gettingpregnant, like energetically
pregnant, and I remember the onejourney specifically where I
could literally feel like it waslike my womb was contracting
and I was like what is this,what is happening?
And so I remember sharing thatwith her and I was like a doula,
(26:02):
I don't, I don't know.
And so, as my sister friendswere just inquiring and asking
questions, it was like she'slike Alisa.
We asked you like are you goingto take the path, Are you going
to explore it?
And all of your answers were Idon't know, I don't know, I
don't know.
And she was like so you tookthe path.
(26:22):
And I was like, wow, so theseed likely for being a doula
got planted seven years ago andI took the path, path, I said
yes to the path.
Well, I said yes to being adoula and then said yes to the
(26:43):
path of being a doula maybe fouryears ago join the miracles
directory, where healers connectand wellness begins.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Join a community of trusted holistic professionals,
or find your path to healing andpeace.
Visit themiraclesdirectorycom.
Start your journey today, and Ithink it's important that we
get to hear this part of yourstory.
For those who are on a path orsomething is growing inside of
(27:13):
them or signs are coming fromeverywhere, to be open to saying
yes to discovery, and you knowwe are.
I find that we're alwayslooking for like, what's the
meaning?
Why am I here?
What, what, what is like?
(27:33):
What the hell am I doing here?
Aside from feeling like I'm anangst 90% of the time, you know
it's like what.
So what is like?
What the hell am I doing here?
Aside from feeling like I'm anangst 90 of the time, you know
it's like what.
So what is all of this for?
You know, those of those youknow are to our listeners, who
are people who want to behealers, people who are looking
to work with a healer.
Things work in their own time.
(27:55):
I've learned this now in myfifth decade of life that things
take their time.
We can't force the universe tobend to our will.
It's because there's alreadysomething there.
We come here with a mission andthen, well, we know what it is
(28:19):
before we get here.
And then we get here, we forgetwhat it is and we've got to
unravel so that we can be ourbest selves in discovering,
becoming a doula, becoming forme, uh, a reiki master, someone
in the healing path.
And if you had asked me sevenyears ago if I would be an
energy healer, I would have beenlike, yeah, whack, no, I don't
(28:41):
believe any of that stuff yes,it's funny how.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
It's funny how things shift, like almost coming full
circle and so even coming fullcircle.
And so, even as I've, as I'veworked with, as I work with my
clients, there's sometimes I'minspired to ask my mom questions
(29:09):
and something I, something Iwas inspired to ask her was mom,
who was there?
Like, who was there when I wasborn?
She was like I don't know whereyour father was, he was off
doing whatever he was up to.
He he said he needed to go a, b, c through z.
So I don't know.
She was like but you're um, butterry was there, and so terry
(29:30):
is a dear friend of the familywho has just lovingly I call her
auntie and I know on Terry knewmy parents, like before I was
even a thought.
What I did not know is that shewas the.
She was my mom's labor coachwhen my mom was giving birth to
(29:51):
me and I was like, wow, like on,Ontario holds a very dear space
in my heart just because of whoshe is and how she supported me
along my journey, was standingand advocating for my mom and
(30:21):
coaching my mom through thetransformation that is birth.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
I was like wow, okay, I got that it was just, it was
really endearing yeah, I can, Ican feel that, yeah, so my
question is, my question is nowyou, you found the path, you're
(30:45):
on the path.
What is it like for yourclients to have you, who are on
your path, walk along with themas they're on their path?
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Yeah, it is.
It's so funny.
So for new year's I send all ofmy clients um happy new year's
virtual e card.
And one of them, um, respondedand he was like thank you so
much for being a part of ourbest year, yet they gave birth.
(31:19):
Now what's hilarious?
Like I, absolutely I love allof my clients and this
particular couple was hilarious.
They also hold a special placebecause they gave birth to their
son on my birthday.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Yeah, I feel that us auspicious.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
Coincidental but not coincidental is that I arrived.
I don't even know if they know,but I arrived at their home to
support them in labor, laboringat home at my birth time, and I
was like message received spirit.
I got it like message receivedum.
(31:59):
Message received um.
And so it was just.
It was beautiful and to hear hewas like thank you so much it
was dad who responded he waslike thank you so much for being
a part of our best year yet itis.
I find that my clients feel like, oh, okay, I don't have to
carry, like don't have to carryall this weight by myself
(32:21):
because there's in as you'repreparing for birth, as I'm sure
you know, there's a wealth ofpossibilities information,
shoulds, should, nots, do nots,scary stories, great stories,
like, and you're like what am Iwhat, what, what, what am I
doing here?
What, what story am I I gonnahave out of this?
(32:42):
Um, and so really being able toguide them in a loving way and
empower them regardless, likewhat comes up.
And so one of the things that Ido with my clients is we talk
about like worst fears, like,okay, what is your worst fear
and what is what plan can wecreate such that you are
(33:04):
empowered?
through it and so it's like, ifplan a does not work out,
because you know babies havetheir own time and way that they
want to move.
So if plan a doesn't, you know,if plan a does not work out, so
we have an.
If this plan b, if this plan c,if this plan, so the okay.
(33:26):
So we have.
And I was like, and I'm notgonna force you inside of your
labor or delivery to be like yousaid you wanted, I'm just like,
nope, that's not how this goesdon't do that with the ladies.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Who is pushing a baby out?
Speaker 2 (33:43):
I was like what I will say is hey, when we talked
about this before, you said youwanted this.
These are the options right now.
What do you still want?
This, or do you want somethingelse?
Whatever you choose, I totallyhonor it's.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
It truly is a coach, someone who's in your corner,
advocating for what you need andreminding you of what you said
you needed and wanted, andsometimes you're right things
happen.
I I remember this is tmi, but Iremember saying I want a mirror
(34:19):
, I want to see the birth, andthen I had the mirror.
I don't want to see the mirror.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
Right.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
And then at that, in that moment, people saying are
you sure?
Are you sure?
Oh my gosh, please don't ask meif I'm sure, cause one of my
fists are going to hit your face.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
And it's so.
It's also honoring, because sobirth is, it's both a sexual
event and it's atransformational event, and so
there is an you.
You are purely a channel inbringing and birthing that baby
into this world, this world asyou birth.
(35:09):
I find like especially, a lotof what I've noticed is moms who
are planning or people who areplanning to get pregnant or
planning for pregnancy, planningfor children, and especially if
it's their first, they'rereally scared.
Yes, that's totally viable,that's totally valid because, as
you give birth to this child,you also rebirth yourself.
So every version of you thatyou thought you knew dies away.
(35:34):
So there's a there's thisrebirth process that you are
going through in addition tocarrying this life and bringing
it into this world, and so it'stotally valid, and I'm simply
here to support you as you, asyou reemerge.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
That is.
I've never heard it put thatway and it's, and I can say, yes
, that's valid and it's it'strue, because at that moment,
you've never been a motherbefore, even when you have six,
seven, eight, you've never beena mother of adult children
living in my house.
So this is a new version of mom.
You know, I'm trying to figureit out.
(36:28):
Well, I think we need, you know, we, we as women, and men too,
but I'm speaking from a femaleexperience.
I feel like it's like you needa doula for your whole life,
because the children, theychange, you change, everybody's
going through this, this change,and it's it's nice to have that
(36:53):
someone there for you.
Whatever change you're goingthrough, what being a parent,
whether it's from the birthprocess to you know, letting
them go and, you know, havetheir own lives, it is the first
time for everything.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
Absolutely, absolutely, and so like
households that have multiplechildren.
I was, like you're all as oldas the youngest child in the
house.
For real Literally when you,when you give birth to that
second, third, fourth, eighthchild, you're all learning to
roll over, you're all learningto crawl, you're all learning to
(37:33):
stand, you're all learning towalk, to run.
Like all of those milestonesyou're going through yourself,
stones, you're going throughyourself.
It may be expressed differentbecause you're at a new level,
it's just, it's this rebirthprocess and that happens
throughout the child's life.
So, totally, like right, neverbeen a mom of like listen, y'all
(37:57):
are a new age.
I've never been a mom of twochildren this age.
This is we.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
We gotta reassess and I think we have to give
ourselves space for that.
You know, a lot of us don'tallow ourselves the space for
that, even during pregnancy, youknow.
You think, oh, my mom pregnancywas like this and her mom's
pregnancy was like this, and mybest friend's pregnancy was like
this, or she got pregnant likethis, and why am I struggling?
Or why is it so easy?
And my friend is strugglinglike we?
(38:23):
We have all of these thingsgoing on in our heads and, uh,
many of us especially dependingculturally, where you come from,
you you are supposed to be themost elated and the most
beautiful and the most, I don'tknow, know like fairy, like I
just can't.
You know what I mean Floatingacross the world because you are
(38:44):
going to give birth and do whatsome would say is one of the
most important tasks on on, youknow, in the planet.
But sometimes you don't feellike that and you don't have
anyone to talk to because youhave to be in the space of oh,
but you're going to be a mom,and it is.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
I can totally relate.
I was having a conversationwith a client and what she said
was I'm trying to be reallyhappy and joyful and grateful
for this baby.
And I was like, okay, got that.
(39:29):
And, mama, I invite you to giveyourself space and grace.
You don't have to be anythingother than who you are and where
you are.
And right where you are, it isperfect.
So if there's sadness, ifthere's grief, if there's fear,
if there's frustration, like,give yourself space to feel and
(39:53):
be with it.
It will pass.
And give yourself the space andthe grace to be with it.
Nothing is wrong with any ofthose emotions.
They're natural and she was likeoh my gosh, like I haven't been
able, I haven't been able tolike.
(40:14):
It was like I gave herpermission to actually have the
conversation with me because shehad shared like I I'm not able
to have this conversation reallywith anybody else, including my
partner, because nobody seemsto understand.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
I was like well, it's not really for anybody to
understand and like with me, youwill always have the space to
be with what is exactly there,whatever that is what a gift
that is to a family and you knowfrom the perspective of, of
hearing how you support and justin this instance is with the
(40:55):
example that you gave, shecouldn't, you can't even share
with your partner.
And then sometimes we show upin some kind of ways because
we're dealing with something andthey're thinking is this
pregnant like, is this yourpregnancy?
What is happening?
I don't understand what.
What happened to my wife?
Where did she go?
Or my partner, where I?
I don't know, because we, wefeel the person who is pregnant
(41:18):
feels like, well, I should behappier, this something should
be happening and to have someonein their corner who doesn't
have their own agenda.
I think that's important for usto get, as, as you know, in
with any coach or with anysupport system out there, to to
call upon someone who doesn'thave their have an agenda and
(41:40):
just wants only what's workablein your life and what's good for
you and your in the client'slife.
I don't think many of us knowwhat a great and beautiful role
a doula can play in thatcraziness time that happens,
because for some people, yeah,it's smooth and it's beautiful
(42:01):
and it's lovely, some it's not.
And either way, to have someonecelebrate with you.
Like you know, you might have apartner who's so scared
themselves they don't even knowhow to celebrate with you
because you're so excited, orthe reverse, and to have that,
and I think what's what theremiss thing is, I'm going to
say, is that, in our Westernculture thing is I'm going to
say, is that in our Westernculture, we're very
(42:23):
individualized.
You know you do things on yourown.
You need to be strong.
You need to be powerfulCulturally, as both you and I
are women of color.
We need to be strong.
We, like you, know you've gotto put on game face all the time
.
Vulnerability is something youleave you know, I don't know on
(42:43):
the toilet when you're sittingdown and crying by yourself
where no one can see you.
To have someone in your corneris so important, especially at
this time of your life.
What I'm what really is remissis that it's it's not readily
available, it's not part of theconversation you have with your
(43:06):
doctor.
When you go and you, you knowyou go the doctor they say, yes,
you're pregnant, and then it'slike, oh, we have this for me.
It was, um, my family doctor,thank god, for my first child
was an ob-gyn as well.
So, like that was.
I'm saying from experience, itwas nice to have someone that
was there the whole time.
But with my second child, um, Ihad a, uh, I had a doctor who I
(43:27):
saw a couple of times, theOBGYN, and then in the hospital
somebody else delivered my babyand I don't even remember what
he looks like, I don't rememberhis name.
Yeah, for such for me, likesuch an important, like.
There's a big distinctionbetween two and there was never
a conversation of do you want towork with a midwife?
Would you like to have a dolike what would?
How would you like your, yourpregnancy experience to be like
(43:51):
they're talking about, your?
You know, at the end of thenine months or 10 months that
we're pregnant for, but no one'stalking about.
Well, what would you like yourpregnancy to be like?
Cause it's all every sometimes.
You know what I mean Absolutely, it's all over the road.
So what are?
What do you suggest that we cando to create more awareness
(44:16):
around the importance and thesupport of of a doula?
Because I think we do know veryclearly.
We're very clear mostly on whatmidwives are and I'm glad you
made the distinction earlier on.
So, as you know.
Your parting thoughts before weend our conversation is how can
we help our sisters feelsupported on their journey of
(44:41):
pregnancy?
Speaker 2 (44:57):
Listen more than we speak, because it's very often
that they're telling us exactlywhat we need, what they need in
our mind.
We're like no, you don't like.
It's where we're operating fromour own perception and we're
not listening.
And so listen and askopen-ended questions.
(45:19):
How would you like me tosupport you and ask open-ended
questions?
How would you like me tosupport you?
What does help look like foryou?
Because what I've, I've, whatI've noticed with my clients,
especially when I'm setting themup postpartum for their family
to support them, is all help isnot the help you need or want.
Yes, indeed, and so, reallybeing curious, what would make a
(45:44):
difference for you in, in,especially postpartum?
Because postpartum is a journeythat it's very distinct.
Child to child is no twopostpartum journeys are the same
and help looks different.
Sometimes it's food, sometimesit's.
Can you just come over and washthe dishes, like I?
(46:04):
I just can't.
And, as you know, with babies,baby bottles and all the things,
there's a rotation of dishesthat is very regular and
consistent and laundry that too,that too, and so sometimes it's
just as simple as can you comeover and clean my kitchen and do
the laundry, Like that wouldjust that would make a huge
(46:26):
difference.
And so it's those little thingsthat we can't, that we don't
necessarily think about.
But if we were to ask thequestion like what would make a
difference for you right now,where you are in your journey Is
?
it just for me to come and sitand talk with you.
So you have an another, so youhave an, especially for stay at
home moms.
So you have another adult totalk to and you're not just, you
(46:48):
know, talking to the kids allday and assessing for yourself
is that something that you cansupport in?
Because, that ability, to thatability and capacity to show up
for your cousin, your sister,your homegirl, whomever who's on
(47:11):
their birth journey, it cantotally make all the difference
in how they experiencemotherhood.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
So beautiful experience motherhood so
beautiful.
So how do we connect with you?
Asides from the miraclesdirectory how do we connect with
you If we are looking for thatsupport or we know someone who's
looking for that support oreven want to get to know more
about doulas or becoming a doula, how do we connect with you?
Speaker 2 (47:40):
So I am am I'm on instagram at cosmic mothering is
my handle um.
Feel free to email at hello,cosmicmotheringcom.
Or simply give a call um 323452-7174.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
This has been such a beautiful conversation and very
you.
Just.
I'm so glad you do what you do.
The mamas and the babies andthe dads and the partners that
get to experience your supportare very, very lucky.
Thank you for joining us todayon Healers Talk Healing.
We hope you've been inspiredand empowered on your holistic
healing journey.
If you've enjoyed today'sepisode and want to continue
learning and growing with us,don't forget to subscribe,
(48:32):
follow, rate and review ourpodcast.
Your feedback and support meanthe world to us.
Remember healing is a lifelongjourney and you have the power
to transform your life inprofound ways.
Stay curious, keep exploringand never stop believing in your
own capacity for healing.
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