September 17, 2025 • 38 mins
In this episode of the Heallist Podcast, Mary Montague, founder of The POGA Method, discusses the importance of introducing mindfulness and healthy habits to children from a young age. She emphasizes the right age to start these practices, the techniques suitable for different age groups, and how to create routines that foster mindfulness.
Mary shares insights on empowering children through independence, goal setting, and the significance of movement and yoga in processing emotions. The conversation also touches on the balance of positive reinforcement and the role of food in habit formation. Overall, the episode provides practical tips for parents to help their children develop a mindful and intentional lifestyle.
- Start mindfulness practices around age three.
- Self-awareness and breath connection are key for young children.
- Mindfulness can be integrated into daily routines.
- Creating a habit checklist can motivate children.
- Involve children in creating their own routines.
- Downtime is essential for self-reflection and creativity.
- Empower children by allowing them to manage their own time.
- Goal setting helps children become self-aware and responsible.
- Positive reinforcement should be balanced with expectations.
- Food should not be used as a reward; promote healthy eating habits.
Access Mary's #1 Mindfulness tool: FREE 3 minute video: https://mailchi.mp/16f1a04b2e2f/fancy-fingers-freebie
Visit Heallist.com - your portal to holistic healing, connecting seekers and thousands of practitioners across the globe.
Follow @heal_list on Instagram.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Yuli (00:00):
Welcome to the Healist Podcast, where we unpack the
many layers of holistic health.
I'm Yuli, founder of Healist,your portal to holistic healers
worldwide.
Now let's go deep.
Hello, dear friends, andwelcome to another amazing
episode of the Healist Podcast,so excited to have with us today
(00:21):
Mary Montague.
She's the founder of PogaMethod, a former special
education classroom teacher,turned wellness expert,
specializing in Pilates, yoga,meditation and mindfulness for
preschoolers through adults.
Her business is built onteaching healthy habits from a
young age and carrying themthrough to adulthood for an
intentional, feel-good lifestyle.
(00:43):
Mary supports families inestablishing systems and
routines for mindful behaviorand I'm just so excited today to
talk as a parent.
This subject is so close to myheart and when I found you, mary
, I was just thrilled to bringyou in because I think so many
more parents or anyone who hasaccess to children, right we're.
(01:04):
I'm personally so curious toreally talk about some of those
habits that we have such a hardtime changing right Once later
in our lives and how importantit is to install them from this
early age.
So I'm super excited for thisconversation and give our
listeners some practical tipsand really talk about
(01:26):
mindfulness in this early age.
It's such a wonderful subject.
So thank you for being here.
Mary (01:31):
Thank you for having me.
I'm so excited to sit down andtalk to you.
Yuli (01:35):
So let's start from the beginning and I'm going to dive
right in because I have so manyquestions for you.
Let's talk about age.
When we talk about children andwellness and mindfulness, a lot
of people might be thinkingwell, this is maybe later in
their life, maybe it's a littletoo early to introduce some of
those concepts talk about.
Let's talk about the age whenis the right time to start and
(01:56):
how does it change throughoutdifferent stages of our human
evolution?
Mary (02:02):
I think around age three is normally the time that I
recommend to start.
We definitely implement ourprogram into a lot of preschools
.
So at age three or even inelementary school, you're
starting new subjects like music, art, science, lab, pe and
everything is new to you, so youdon't have a resistance to it.
(02:22):
You would almost assume if youwere taking a mindfulness class
or a yoga class or whatever as achild.
You would assume that everyonedoes this.
You wouldn't know that thisparticular method is unique or
new and progressive.
Kids just do what they'retaught to do right.
They're experiencing life forthe first time, so they're very
(02:44):
receptive to it and very open toit.
I would say that the resistancemight build as they get older,
which is also an okay thing,because as kids become teenagers
maybe they go more into danceor soccer or that they want to
become a professional swimmer orsomething right, and then the
other extracurriculars fall tothe wayside.
But if they had these skillsfrom a child, from a young age,
(03:07):
then it's always going to beembodied within them that then
they can use them as needed asthey navigate life and maybe
they come back to it at a laterstage.
Yuli (03:17):
I love that.
So what is the rightmindfulness practices to
introduce at this early age ofthree?
Mary (03:25):
Self-awareness is definitely number one and to be
self-aware you can connect toyour breath, which is the
easiest thing to do so with kids.
We like to make it as fun as wecan, so we could do a bumblebee
breath that really, reallyhelps you calm down, promotes
feelings of happiness.
We could do a lion's breath,where we talk about when you're
(03:46):
so angry and mad and frustratedand you just want to get out
your angry feelings.
Or we could do generalized boxbreathing you breathe in for
three, you breathe out for three.
Or we could just try to sit insilence and notice our breath by
putting one hand over our heart, one hand over our tummy.
So there's a lot of differentbreathing exercises we can do
(04:06):
for kids, but the more fun andengaging you can make it, the
better.
Yuli (04:12):
Amazing, and do you recommend starting it as a group
exercise or as a personalone-on-one practice with a
parent?
What works best for this agegroup?
Mary (04:23):
I think both can be equally beneficial.
I wouldn't say one is betterthan the other.
Yuli (04:29):
Amazing.
And as they grow, let's talkabout some of the next stages.
Like you mentioned, it mightchange as they grow older, so
let's say more of like anelementary school age.
What is the right approach?
What are the practices that youcan layer on the breath work?
Mary (04:46):
the biggest struggle as they get older, I think, is just
time.
I think that as adults we havethis illusion that we don't have
time for things right.
So I would say that that'smaybe the struggle.
Is someone going to put timeand money towards a practice
like this and we kind of createroadblocks for ourselves.
But if we just realize that amindfulness practice, a
(05:08):
breathwork practice, a movementpractice or any sort of health
and wellness habit can beintegrated into your lifestyle,
then you can do it at any time.
So maybe if you're a littleolder, you're a fifth grader,
you're about to do a test, thenmaybe you're doing a simple
breathing exercise before a test.
Maybe you're about to go tosleepaway camp for the first
(05:30):
time and you're having someanxiety about that.
You're talking to your parentsabout it.
Then maybe you're processingyour emotions through movement
or through breath work.
So really they're just kind oflife coping skills that you
continue to practice, and if youpractice them in a preventative
way, before something becomesan issue, then it's the most
(05:51):
beneficial.
Yuli (05:53):
I love that.
And how about general routines?
So I understand, like theusefulness of before tests or um
in any other kind of lifeevents, but do you suggest to
have a certain routine with kidsin this age?
Mary (06:09):
Yes.
So I'm really big on stickerchats and I have a sticker chat
for myself and I will probablycreate a sticker chat for myself
for the rest of my life andit's just basically a goal chat
of all the things I want to dothroughout my day.
So anything from brushing myteeth to putting my phone in a
separate room when I go to dothroughout my day.
So anything from brushing myteeth to putting my phone in a
separate room when I go to bedat night and everything in
(06:29):
between.
And I give myself little pointsfor all of my goals.
So maybe my goal is to take10,000 steps a day.
Maybe a goal is to do a workoutclass five days a week.
Maybe a goal is to meditate forfive minutes a day.
Maybe your goal as a student isto read before bed with your
phone out of the room, anythinglike that.
(06:49):
So just decide what your goalis and what's reasonable for you
, and then, if you can create ahabit checklist which I love
creating with my clients and formyself to just effortlessly
incorporate it right, so thatway you're building healthy
habits.
And it's my favorite tip to tellparents is that let's say kids,
(07:14):
you know your child reallywants a new pair of shoes or
they really, you know, there'ssome clothing brand that they
really really like.
Maybe they're getting it fortheir birthday, maybe they're
getting a gift for Christmas orHanukkah or a celebration, right
, but maybe they can work onthese healthy habit checklists
with some sort of incentive inmind, rather than just giving
(07:34):
them gifts and shoes and clotheskind of you know willy-nilly.
So I love to tell my parentclients that, and I even do it
for myself, where I kind ofcheck my list of my sticker chat
every day with all of myhealthy habits and then I save
for something that I reallyreally want.
It's very motivating.
So that way, if you see it onyour list and you think reading
for five minutes before bed,doing breath work for five
(07:57):
minutes in the morning, doing aworkout class three times a week
, going on a walk to see thesunlight earlier in the day if
you just incorporate iteffortlessly, then it doesn't
have to be that big of a deal,but you can reward yourself in
the end so that it isintentional and you're
continuing to work towards agoal.
Yuli (08:16):
No, it definitely works.
As a parent, I can admit thatthe reward system the reward
system?
Mary (08:23):
Yeah, it's amazing.
Yuli (08:24):
And what kind of mindfulness activities, let's
say, you would recommend for aneight-year-old right let's pick
kind of an age in between.
Give us some examples thatwould be realistic, that this
age group is going to be excitedabout and they can definitely
(08:47):
incorporate into their day.
Mary (08:48):
Okay, so I would let your eight-year-old be a part of
creating this, right?
So talk about it with youreight-year-old and say hey, I
noticed sometimes at night we'rekind of fighting a little bit
before bed.
Let's talk about that and let'scome up with some systems to
help with that.
Or I notice in the morning it'sso hard for you to get ready
for school where I'm alwaysyelling at you in the morning
(09:08):
hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.
I want to stop doing that.
Let's talk about it.
What could we do together?
And your eight-year-old wouldprobably have ideas about how to
make those transition timeseasier, right?
So maybe your eight-year-oldmight say okay, in the morning
it's just so stressful, I'mtired and I'm hurrying to eat my
(09:30):
breakfast and then I alwaysforget my homework folder or
this and that.
Figure it out together as asystem to just add more presence
, more mindfulness to thatmorning routine and set yourself
up for success.
So maybe it's okay, let's worktogether.
What do you think about puttingyour homework folder in your
backpack the night before?
Yeah, okay, that would makesense.
(09:51):
So maybe you add that on yoursticker chart and he earns a
point for that, right?
Maybe in the morning he decidesI don't really like this kind
of breakfast, I actually wantsomething else that's going to
help me focus better.
And then you experiment withthat for a little bit and you
talk about hey, how did yourbreakfast make you feel?
And he might say, yeah, it wasso much better.
Having a smoothie was actuallyquicker, it gave me some of my
(10:12):
time back.
Or maybe at night, theeight-year-old is playing a
video game before bed and thenhe's kind of annoyed when the
video game is disrupted becauseit's time for him to go to bed.
So maybe you say, hey, I wantyou to have that video game time
.
How about we do it beforedinner?
That way at nighttime we have alittle bit more time to read a
book and do something a littlebit more gentle before bed.
(10:34):
So I think it's really justabout the parent and the child
creating a system together thatfeels good for both people, that
really creates healthy habitsfor success.
Yuli (10:46):
So in terms of the do's and don'ts and I know, for me
definitely no screens afterdinner is the absolute must,
because I feel like that setssuch a bad habit in terms of the
sleep quality and everythingkind of snowballs from there,
and it seems like you're inagreement with that.
But anything else that is quicktips that will help improve the
(11:13):
overall well-being throughoutthe day morning, evening time,
weekends.
Mary (11:18):
Yes, two things come to mind.
What about sunlight?
First thing, in the morning,depending on where you live, can
breakfast be outside.
If the weather is appropriate,can you go on a little walk
around the block before schoolstarts?
Can you walk to school?
Can you put your feet in thegrass?
Can you just open the shadesand open the windows?
First thing, just some sort oftransition to have the day start
(11:42):
with a more vibrant energywould be really, really helpful.
And then it's something youalmost look forward to is
opening the blinds every day orstepping out for the fresh air
every day.
That could just be a simplewellbeing tip that really
benefits your life overall andkind of can change the energy of
the home.
Kind of can change the energyof the home.
(12:10):
And then the second thing um, Ilost it.
Let me think for a healthyhabit throughout the day, our
weekend, yes.
Another thing is that kids arebeing told.
Tell me if you agree with thisas a parent.
Kids are being told what to doall day, every day.
From the moment they wake up,they're probably getting woken
up by their parent telling themto wake up.
Then they're being rushed outthe door breakfast, you know the
(12:32):
whole transition to get toschool.
As soon as they get to school,it's like teachers,
administrators, telling themwhat to do all day long.
Then they might go to anafterschool class or meet with a
coach.
Then they're being told to dotheir homework.
Then they're being told it'sdinner time, brush your teeth,
go to bed, etc.
Right, so when do kids ever getan opportunity just to think to
themselves and think with theirown brain and self-reflect on
(12:54):
their own day and just have amoment of silence and stillness
and pause?
Or when do kids ever have atime to be bored?
So I would advise having justsome downtime to self-regulate
and just have free time to bebored.
So I would advise having justsome downtime to self-regulate
and just have free time to bebored and just allow for there
to be a little bit offlexibility through the schedule
(13:15):
.
And also, if you're a parentand I know this as a teacher
sometimes we kind of get intothe habit where we're constantly
telling the student or thechild to do the next thing.
If you can just say it once andthen just allow for a little
bit, rather than the constantfollow-up, and just see how they
do with a little bit more space, because they probably are very
(13:36):
capable of doing it and we'reprobably, as adults, inserting
ourselves a little bit too much.
Yuli (13:42):
Oh, my god, you really hit a nerve here because it's
something that I noticed myself.
How um and I have been withoutkids for the last few days
because they're on vacation, soI noticed that a lot when
they're not around.
How much less I just have totell people what to do and stay
(14:02):
on top of things.
Right, it's so liberating notto have to do that.
But it also highlighted thecontrast how much I'm constantly
, throughout the day, basicallybusy telling them what to do.
And I had the same exactthought.
And sometimes, you know, it'sfrustrating too, because most
parents we have to say things atleast five to ten times before
(14:25):
they actually happen.
And it's like this vicious cycle, right, and then you really
find yourself and you know thereare certain days that you need
to move through the day andthere's a schedule and there's a
lot of things that need to beaccomplished, but you find
yourself just repeatingdirections all day long.
And you know, part of me think,sometimes we did an experiment
(14:49):
with our older son, who's a yearold, just to make him in charge
of his own morning, and thatwas such an empowerment exercise
because we said listen, youknow, you need to catch the
school bus at 8 o'clock.
You know, you know how muchtime you have.
You have a watch.
Can you try and manage your owntime?
And these are the things thatneed to happen.
(15:11):
And it was rough, you know, fora few days and you know we had
to kind of direct him a littlebit but slowly it definitely
created like more responsibilityand less of a need to give
constant direction, because as aparent it's just exhausting,
right.
Mary (15:29):
I love that.
That is so self-empowering.
The feeling of self-empowerment, I think, is one of the best
feelings ever, and I think thatwhen we tell kids to do
something five times in a row,they're going to expect you the
next day to say it five times ina row.
They're going to ignore you thefirst four times because that's
just the routine now.
But if you can say we'releaving at 8 o'clock, it's now
(15:51):
7.55, look at the time, I'll beback here at 8 o'clock, and then
you give yourself five minutesto do what you need to do and
then you come back right ateight o'clock and then doing it
in that much more calm way, thenthey realize oh, I can actually
look at the clock myself, whichis what you just taught your
son.
So I love that approach thankyou.
Yuli (16:12):
Any other tips for empowerment specifically because
I'm really this is one areathat at least I'm trying to.
My goal for my kids is to raisethem independent,
self-sufficient, empowered, youknow, confident, and I do think
it's part of their well-beingpackage right, Because
(16:34):
everything starts in the mind.
Any other ideas or tips how tomake them self-empowered and
make those good choices forthemselves?
Mary (16:44):
Yes, mindset is so important and self-awareness is
so important.
So that's when guidedmeditation and visualization
would come in, and also justhaving that downtime for them to
be able to think themselves.
So, whether you do this throughconversation, through
journaling, through writing,through drawing, through
meditation, just giving them anopportunity to almost learn how
(17:07):
to goal set for themselves, soyou might say, okay, you're
going into fourth grade thisyear.
This is a great time becausekids are going back to school
and say, hey, you're going intofourth grade.
I want to sit down with you for30 minutes and let's talk about
who you wanna be in fourthgrade.
So, who do you wanna be on thefirst day of school?
What kind of person are you?
(17:28):
And they might be a little bituncomfortable.
I tend to find that students areprobably more comfortable doing
this with me or an outsidecoach than they are with their
own parent.
But you could adapt themodality draw a picture, you
know, write a note, talk aboutit, visualize.
You don't even have to share,you can just think of it
privately.
But to feel self-empowered, tosay, okay, who do you want to be
(17:49):
on your first day of school?
Who do you want to be this yearin fourth grade what's your
goal with your schoolwork?
What's your goal with yourfriends?
What's your goal outside ofschool?
What's your goal at home?
And just kind of let themvisualize who they want to be
and then you could say Okay,well, in order to be that person
(18:09):
, what kind of things do youthink you need to do every day?
So if your goal is to get yourgrades up in math this year,
what do you think would help youdo that?
Tell me, as a parent, how I canhelp you.
Do you need a math tutor?
Do you need me to buy you mathflashcards and we practice in
the car every day?
What could we do to help youget to those goals?
(18:31):
So that way they'reself-empowered, because it's not
goals that you're putting onthem, it's goals that they've
actually become self-awareenough to think for themselves.
And then the whole concept ofyour identity like James Clear
talks about this a lot in hisbook Atomic Habits is, if it's
your identity, where you're thekind of person who does this and
(18:51):
they start to show up as thatkind of person, then they're
more likely to do the habits toget them to the goal.
So really teaching that from ayoung age, I think is absolutely
possible.
Yuli (19:01):
Amazing.
And when it comes to changinghabits, I'm curious from your
experience how long does it taketo kids to reshape their habits
, their behavior?
Mary (19:11):
I think it depends on consistency and the reward.
So it could be really simple Ifyou had a really simple stick,
a chart.
Maybe there was one thing onyour sticker chart on the fridge
that your child was going to.
What would be a good example ofa simple thing that a child
could do like one habit um, likemaybe, or tidying up their room
(19:35):
yeah, okay.
so every day before dinner theyhave to tidy up their room and
and that's their one and onlygoal, if you put a sticker chart
on the fringe.
Every day for seven days theyhad to tidy up their room before
dinner, and every day maybe yougave them one little reminder
and then afterwards you gavethem a comment of positive
(19:55):
reinforcement and then at theend of the week they got to earn
a prize.
That seems so simple, and theprize doesn't have to be
anything crazy.
I mean, it could be somethingthat you were going to do for
the child anyway.
You know, like, maybe on Sundayyou have plans on the calendar
to take the kids on a play date,to go get ice cream.
You're going to do that anyway.
Just you know, pretend like, oh,this is your prize for reaching
(20:19):
that habit goal for seven days.
And then like, oh, this is yourprize for reaching that habit
goal for seven days.
And then you know the amount oftime it might take for them to
be able to do it without asticker chart, might be a few
weeks.
But then maybe you could justsay, okay, now that you've met
this goal for one week, nowlet's put two goals on the
sticker chart.
So then they keep on doing thefirst habit, but then you're
able to add in a second habitand just give a lot of positive
(20:40):
reinforcement to that.
Yuli (20:43):
So, since you mentioned positive reinforcement in every
word, so this is another subjectthat I'm really curious about,
because I feel like, especiallyin the American culture in
general, we're so great withpositive reinforcement, right,
it's almost like everyone isdoing an amazing job, everyone
is a genius in what they do.
What's the right balance toempower without maybe creating a
(21:06):
false sense of accomplishmentconstantly?
Mary (21:12):
Yeah, I think that there's things that, as humans, we're
just required to do, where youknow we should be sharing, we
should be kind, we should behelping out around the house.
Those are just requirements, soit doesn't necessarily have to
be wow, you put your dish in thesink.
Amazing, you're such a big kid,you know.
It could just be thank you forhelping out or that really
(21:35):
helped me.
So instead you're sending twomessages where you are giving
them the positive reinforcement,but you're also just saying,
yeah, you're being an activeparticipant in the household.
So it doesn't have to be anover-the-top thing, but just
kind of noticing.
We all like to receive acompliment, right?
(21:55):
So just noticing, giving acompliment here and there when
you know that they're reallytrying their best, I think can
go a long way, but it can alsostill be expected behavior.
Yuli (22:08):
Love that.
And since we're talking aboutwellness overall and well-being,
and I think food and nutritionis a big part of it, what is
your point of view on foodrewards?
Because this is one of my petpeeves when people say, well, if
you do this well, you're goingto get an ice cream.
Right, I feel like, personally,that it creates this unhealthy
(22:32):
relationship with food as areward system instead of it
being kind of the nourishing,nurturing element of our
wellbeing.
Um, what is the?
What is the do and don'ts, um,in your opinion?
Mary (22:47):
I agree with you and I think it could be.
It could go either way, I dosee it.
I do agree with you where youdon't want food to be this
reward thing where we'reconstantly, you know, kind of
depriving ourselves of an icecream and we only get an ice
cream if we earn it.
It should be a little bit moreintuitive than that.
So that's kind of entering adangerous zone.
(23:07):
So I agree with you there.
It could perhaps be where youtalk to your child about, you
know, healthy eating.
So maybe you have a meal plan,you know.
You talk about what's.
We're going grocery shopping onSunday.
Here's what we're going to becooking this week.
You know that kind of thing.
And you're just talking openlyabout food.
How did this food make you feelI love this kind of vegetable?
(23:30):
What do you like?
You know, just having openconversations about food and
then having open conversationsabout treats and just saying
there's treats out there thatare so delicious but they're
made to be treats and you couldsay my favorite treat is mint
chocolate chip ice cream, but Iknow that if I ate it all the
time it would make me feel sick.
(23:50):
So I don't really eat it allthe time.
But I know that when I go toMaine every summer there's this
particular ice cream shop whereI just love their mint chocolate
ice cream.
So that's a time where it feelslike a good choice for me, so
you can actually just introducetreats in a way and explain to
them that they are treats andthen that way it's a more
(24:14):
realistic approach.
But I do agree that if you arechoosing a reward system and
they're constantly asking everyweek they want their reward to
be a cupcake, then maybe youhave to lead them.
Lead them down a different path, and I mean, I think, as a
parent not not to totally trickyour child, but as a parent give
them a reward that you almostwould have given them anyway.
You know, let's say, they'rereally into books and they want
(24:37):
the next book in the HarryPotter series.
You, you would probably givethat to them anyway, but they
really are so excited about it.
So make that the reward.
Or you're noticing that theyreally need a new pair of
pajamas, you know.
So instead, you're going to buyit for them anyway, but make
that the reward.
That way it's not actuallycosting you more money, but it
(24:58):
is something that every timethey look at those pajamas, they
might think oh, I earned that.
That was really, that wasreally cool how I earned that.
Yuli (25:05):
I love that.
Yeah, I love especially, I feellike when we go to back to
school there are so many thingsto that we need to get for kids.
But use it as a instead of justkind of automatically buying it
.
Make them part of the processand make them actually earn it.
I love that yeah and let's talkabout movement, because I know
(25:25):
this is a big part of what youdo and I'm really curious.
My kids were really fortunateto get yoga classes in their
amazing school and you know memyself, I've had those amazing
yoga cards from the very earlyage that I got for them and now
they know the poses.
It's like a game and hasdifferent like animal drawings,
(25:47):
and it really got them into yoga.
So this is like oneaccomplishment that I give
myself a sticker for as a parent.
Yes, all the flowers, any othertips, um you know, with yoga
specifically um to help get kidsinto it.
Let's say, if they don't haveum an opportunity to to do
(26:09):
through school or through otherafter school activities or other
movement practices that reallyum connect the body, mind and
spirit my biggest philosophywith movement is it just helps
us process our emotions and itstops us from rumination right.
Mary (26:28):
So I'm sure everyone listening has experience where
you're ruminating aboutsomething and you go on a walk
and it completely clears yourmind, or you come up with a
creative idea on a walk, oryou're super frustrated about
something in the morning.
You received a work email andthen you go to your daily
workout class and by the end ofthe workout class that email is
not that frustrating and youknow exactly how you're going to
(26:49):
handle it.
So having kids identify thatmovement can help with their
mood is a huge self-awarenessrealization and the younger you
can learn that the better.
And to illustrate an example, Iwas teaching a first grade
classroom.
This experience happened acouple years ago.
This example I was teaching afirst grade classroom, my poga
(27:11):
method and I was walking intothe classroom at 8 30 in the
morning for their weeklyThursday morning lesson.
So the kids know the drill assoon as they see me they go to
the rug and they sit in a circleand we get started with that
lesson.
And on this particular day Iwalked in and this little boy
was in full rumination and hecame up to me and he said that
(27:32):
something happened this morningwith roblox and he was so
stressed about it and and allthis stuff.
And I'm not a parent yet, so Idon't exactly understand what
roblox is, but I could sensethat he was anxious and it was
really fogging his mind.
So I said, ok, it's OK.
You know, I kind of just put myhand on his shoulder and guided
him over, you know, with theother 20 kids to the circle and
(27:52):
we did our whole lesson, whichincorporates mindfulness,
movement through yoga andPilates and meditation.
And at the end of the wholemovement exercise, which lasted
for about 20 minutes, I oftenask the kids raise your hand if
you want to share how you feel.
And kids are often saying I feelcalm, I feel good, I feel happy
(28:12):
, I feel peaceful.
And this one boy was almost indisbelief where he said, wow, I
had so many thoughts in my mindbefore, and now I just feel
nothing.
And he just identified that allof those anxious thoughts about
Roblox just kind of driftedaway and he said, yeah, I feel
really good now.
(28:33):
So that made me so happybecause no matter what kind of
movement it is, it's just givingyour body an opportunity to
work through those emotions,process those emotions and get
them out, and then, with a clearmind, you can move forward with
your day.
So any kind of movement,whether it's a walk, a soccer
class, a yoga class, anythingincorporating movement
(28:54):
throughout your day is justunbelievably beneficial amazing
now, what a story.
Yuli (29:01):
So can you share a little bit more about the Poga method,
because I think it's reallyincredible what you're doing and
so unique.
Thank you.
Mary (29:08):
Yes, so I.
My background is a dancer.
I was a ballet dancer growingup.
I grew up in Australia and thenI moved to the States for
college and I studied to be aspecial education teacher.
So both my undergrad and mymaster's degree is in special ed
and I became a specialeducation teacher for
kindergarten through fifth gradegrades at the Beverly Hills
(29:30):
Unified School District foreight years and I loved the job.
So now the school district isactually one of my clients.
But when I was teaching I gotsuper into Pilates.
That's kind of the commonpipeline from a dancer to
Pilates, right.
So I would take a Pilates classevery morning before work, from
seven till eight.
I would be at work by 8.10 andI would just feel incredible
(29:55):
walking into my classroom.
So you know, you know thefeeling after any sort of
workout or just prioritizingmyself first thing in the
morning.
I just felt great.
By the time I got to work Iwould sit on a big, huge Pilates
ball, one of those massiveballs that you see at the gym,
instead of a desk chair, ateacher chair, and I highly
recommend that.
I know that standing desks arevery popular.
(30:16):
Another alternative if you wantto sit is sit on that pilates
ball because it engages yourcore and that gentle movement
just kind of keeps your mindalert.
So I would sit on a pilatesball.
So all of my students would say, teach us some pilates, miss
Montague.
We want to learn pilates.
And you know, at first I kind ofthought, okay, it's an avoidant
behavior.
(30:37):
You know they want to avoidtheir work and you know,
distract me and learn some pil.
So it was just kind of aninside joke for a little bit.
But I noticed that the first 30minutes of the day in my
classroom were our leastproductive time.
I always felt that the kidsneeded a little bit of a warm up
period to get really focusedfor their academics and the
(31:00):
academic output wasn't as goodfor the first 30 minutes.
It just took them a little timeto settle in.
So one day when they wereparticularly unfocused and
granted, these are kids who havemild to moderate disabilities,
so maybe ADHD, a learningdisability, they're on the
autism spectrum, etc.
One day I just said, okay,everyone, get out of your desks,
(31:25):
come to the rug and I'm goingto teach you some Pilates.
And they were like finally,you're going to teach us some of
your Pilates.
So we spent probably about 10minutes just gentle stretching,
a few little core exercises,some breathing together as a
group, and they loved it.
And this was my light bulbmoment for my business, where I
(31:46):
just realized how connected wewere, for those 10 minutes where
they all just breathed togetherwith me and got so focused on
their mind-body connection andthey were so centered that after
10 minutes when we went back totheir desk, we didn't waste any
time.
We had just caught up and wereable to 2x the amount of time
(32:08):
moving forward.
So from that point on Irealized, okay, these kind of
modalities of movement, breathwork, mindfulness, stretching
within the classroom for littletiny breaks to help kids focus
and self-regulate and really tohelp with transitions, is going
to be hugely beneficial.
And that was 10 years ago.
(32:31):
So now, luckily, a lot ofschools have caught on to this
and I think every adult agrees.
Everyone says I wish I had thiswhen I was a kid.
So really, that's how it began.
It was very, very organic.
Yuli (32:39):
I love that so much and I mean it makes so much sense.
Uh, I mean it makes so muchsense.
I mean, again, watching my kidsafter some of those practices,
it's, uh, it's really that yousee a huge difference and uh,
how did it grow since then?
So you had this light bulbmoment, but you were still
teaching.
Can you fast forward us totoday?
Mary (33:02):
yes, step by step, and that's something I have to
constantly remind myself is youdon't know what you're doing
when you're building somethingand you just have to take one
step and then the next step andthen it's a compound effect.
So at the time, I wasn'tcertified yet.
As soon as I realized howbeneficial it was, I thought,
okay, is Pilates for kids athing?
(33:22):
Let me make it a thing.
So let me go and get Pilatescertified, yoga certified, yoga
for kids certified, et cetera,and I really dove into it.
And then, about a year later,in 2015, I left my teaching job
and I said, okay, I'm going toteach Pilates for kids full time
.
And then it ended up beingPilates and yoga combined, which
(33:43):
is really the method that Icreated that I think works the
best for kids, and that started10 years ago the Poga method.
So Pilates being body controlthat's what Pilates was
originally called by JosephPilates is contrology mixed with
yoga, which you can do so manythings for kids with yoga, as
(34:04):
you mentioned the flashcardsbefore, and we're doing cat and
cow and making moo and meowsounds, depending on the grade
level.
Combining Pilates and yogatogether is really the sweet
spot, and then, over time, Irealized how much attention was
needed for mental health andsocial emotional skills.
So then we've added two morepillars of meditation and
mindfulness.
(34:24):
And my first year teaching Ithink I was in three classrooms.
Now the Poga method is in about50 classrooms and growing and
just step by step, more and moreteachers, administrators and
parents asked for it and we justkept building and growing from
there.
Yuli (34:42):
That is incredible.
I mean, those kids are so luckyto learn from you all those
amazing modalities at such anearly age.
So how can people or schools orindividuals work with you?
Mary (34:55):
Okay, so the best way to find me is on Instagram, the
Poga method, and you can go tothe link in bio for all sorts of
links for how you can work withme In person, two ways.
The first way is in both LosAngeles and New York.
It's myself and a team of POGAteachers where we teach in
school classrooms, private homes, after school classes, we do
(35:18):
events and workshops and summercamps.
So get in touch with me via thelink on my Instagram.
You can book a freeconsultation call if you want,
and we can do in-personclassroom, in-person classes for
you.
Also, if you don't live in LosAngeles or New York and you want
to work with me virtually, Iwork with clients and families
on meditation, mindfulnesstechniques and mindset coaching.
(35:41):
So there's a link in my bio forthat as well.
And then, product wise and low,very low cost wise, I have this
book, actually Damien the Cow, ayoga story for kids.
So this is on Amazon.
I recommend this book for agesthree to eight and it's a
mindful message about friendship.
There's breathing exercises inhere and a number of different
(36:02):
yoga poses that create a funyoga sequence.
And then I also have Mary'sMedis, which are 10 very
bite-sized five-minute guidedmeditation visualization
exercises for families that youcan also download.
Yuli (36:19):
Amazing.
I love all these incredibleofferings and there is something
for everyone, and I can't waitto try actually your meditations
with my kids once they comeback from their vacation, and I
can't wait for that and that'san amazing back to school new
habit that I would like toestablish yes, you can put that
(36:40):
on the stick a chat well, it'sbeen a really amazing
conversation and I just have somany more questions, but I know
we're running out of time so Iwanted to give you an
opportunity to cover anythingelse like that we haven't said
that you felt would be reallyimportant for parents to know,
any other kind of big, big wordsof advice?
Mary (37:04):
I think, just it.
You're never too old and you'renever too young to do something
that's going to create ahealthy habit for yourself.
So if you feel that you're notwhere you want to be, just make
one commitment to start one newhabit this week and try to do it
seven days in a row and giveyourself a reward afterwards.
(37:26):
It's not too late.
Just start today, and the samegoes for your child.
If you feel like you've startedsome bad habits in your home,
start again.
You can always start again.
It's never too early and it'snever too late.
Yuli (37:41):
I love that Well, you inspired me to try a whole set
of new habits for my family andsuch a pleasure to have you and
again.
All those beautiful childrenthat benefit from your Poga
method are extremely fortunate.
Thank you for having that lightbulb moment and bringing your
wisdom to all of us.
(38:02):
And what a pleasure.
Mary (38:04):
Yes, thank you, yuli, and I love the community that you've
created, so I really appreciatejust getting to sit down and
have time with you today.
Yuli (38:12):
Amazing.
Welcome to the Healist Podcast, where we unpack the
many layers of holistic health.
I'm Yuli, founder of Healist,your portal to holistic healers
worldwide.
Now let's go deep.
Hello, dear friends, andwelcome to another amazing
episode of the Healist Podcast,so excited to have with us today
(00:21):
Mary Montague.
She's the founder of PogaMethod, a former special
education classroom teacher,turned wellness expert,
specializing in Pilates, yoga,meditation and mindfulness for
preschoolers through adults.
Her business is built onteaching healthy habits from a
young age and carrying themthrough to adulthood for an
intentional, feel-good lifestyle.
(00:43):
Mary supports families inestablishing systems and
routines for mindful behaviorand I'm just so excited today to
talk as a parent.
This subject is so close to myheart and when I found you, mary
, I was just thrilled to bringyou in because I think so many
more parents or anyone who hasaccess to children, right we're.
(01:04):
I'm personally so curious toreally talk about some of those
habits that we have such a hardtime changing right Once later
in our lives and how importantit is to install them from this
early age.
So I'm super excited for thisconversation and give our
listeners some practical tipsand really talk about
(01:26):
mindfulness in this early age.
It's such a wonderful subject.
So thank you for being here.
Mary (01:31):
Thank you for having me.
I'm so excited to sit down andtalk to you.
Yuli (01:35):
So let's start from the beginning and I'm going to dive
right in because I have so manyquestions for you.
Let's talk about age.
When we talk about children andwellness and mindfulness, a lot
of people might be thinkingwell, this is maybe later in
their life, maybe it's a littletoo early to introduce some of
those concepts talk about.
Let's talk about the age whenis the right time to start and
(01:56):
how does it change throughoutdifferent stages of our human
evolution?
Mary (02:02):
I think around age three is normally the time that I
recommend to start.
We definitely implement ourprogram into a lot of preschools
.
So at age three or even inelementary school, you're
starting new subjects like music, art, science, lab, pe and
everything is new to you, so youdon't have a resistance to it.
(02:22):
You would almost assume if youwere taking a mindfulness class
or a yoga class or whatever as achild.
You would assume that everyonedoes this.
You wouldn't know that thisparticular method is unique or
new and progressive.
Kids just do what they'retaught to do right.
They're experiencing life forthe first time, so they're very
(02:44):
receptive to it and very open toit.
I would say that the resistancemight build as they get older,
which is also an okay thing,because as kids become teenagers
maybe they go more into danceor soccer or that they want to
become a professional swimmer orsomething right, and then the
other extracurriculars fall tothe wayside.
But if they had these skillsfrom a child, from a young age,
(03:07):
then it's always going to beembodied within them that then
they can use them as needed asthey navigate life and maybe
they come back to it at a laterstage.
Yuli (03:17):
I love that.
So what is the rightmindfulness practices to
introduce at this early age ofthree?
Mary (03:25):
Self-awareness is definitely number one and to be
self-aware you can connect toyour breath, which is the
easiest thing to do so with kids.
We like to make it as fun as wecan, so we could do a bumblebee
breath that really, reallyhelps you calm down, promotes
feelings of happiness.
We could do a lion's breath,where we talk about when you're
(03:46):
so angry and mad and frustratedand you just want to get out
your angry feelings.
Or we could do generalized boxbreathing you breathe in for
three, you breathe out for three.
Or we could just try to sit insilence and notice our breath by
putting one hand over our heart, one hand over our tummy.
So there's a lot of differentbreathing exercises we can do
(04:06):
for kids, but the more fun andengaging you can make it, the
better.
Yuli (04:12):
Amazing, and do you recommend starting it as a group
exercise or as a personalone-on-one practice with a
parent?
What works best for this agegroup?
Mary (04:23):
I think both can be equally beneficial.
I wouldn't say one is betterthan the other.
Yuli (04:29):
Amazing.
And as they grow, let's talkabout some of the next stages.
Like you mentioned, it mightchange as they grow older, so
let's say more of like anelementary school age.
What is the right approach?
What are the practices that youcan layer on the breath work?
Mary (04:46):
the biggest struggle as they get older, I think, is just
time.
I think that as adults we havethis illusion that we don't have
time for things right.
So I would say that that'smaybe the struggle.
Is someone going to put timeand money towards a practice
like this and we kind of createroadblocks for ourselves.
But if we just realize that amindfulness practice, a
(05:08):
breathwork practice, a movementpractice or any sort of health
and wellness habit can beintegrated into your lifestyle,
then you can do it at any time.
So maybe if you're a littleolder, you're a fifth grader,
you're about to do a test, thenmaybe you're doing a simple
breathing exercise before a test.
Maybe you're about to go tosleepaway camp for the first
(05:30):
time and you're having someanxiety about that.
You're talking to your parentsabout it.
Then maybe you're processingyour emotions through movement
or through breath work.
So really they're just kind oflife coping skills that you
continue to practice, and if youpractice them in a preventative
way, before something becomesan issue, then it's the most
(05:51):
beneficial.
Yuli (05:53):
I love that.
And how about general routines?
So I understand, like theusefulness of before tests or um
in any other kind of lifeevents, but do you suggest to
have a certain routine with kidsin this age?
Mary (06:09):
Yes.
So I'm really big on stickerchats and I have a sticker chat
for myself and I will probablycreate a sticker chat for myself
for the rest of my life andit's just basically a goal chat
of all the things I want to dothroughout my day.
So anything from brushing myteeth to putting my phone in a
separate room when I go to dothroughout my day.
So anything from brushing myteeth to putting my phone in a
separate room when I go to bedat night and everything in
(06:29):
between.
And I give myself little pointsfor all of my goals.
So maybe my goal is to take10,000 steps a day.
Maybe a goal is to do a workoutclass five days a week.
Maybe a goal is to meditate forfive minutes a day.
Maybe your goal as a student isto read before bed with your
phone out of the room, anythinglike that.
(06:49):
So just decide what your goalis and what's reasonable for you
, and then, if you can create ahabit checklist which I love
creating with my clients and formyself to just effortlessly
incorporate it right, so thatway you're building healthy
habits.
And it's my favorite tip to tellparents is that let's say kids,
(07:14):
you know your child reallywants a new pair of shoes or
they really, you know, there'ssome clothing brand that they
really really like.
Maybe they're getting it fortheir birthday, maybe they're
getting a gift for Christmas orHanukkah or a celebration, right
, but maybe they can work onthese healthy habit checklists
with some sort of incentive inmind, rather than just giving
(07:34):
them gifts and shoes and clotheskind of you know willy-nilly.
So I love to tell my parentclients that, and I even do it
for myself, where I kind ofcheck my list of my sticker chat
every day with all of myhealthy habits and then I save
for something that I reallyreally want.
It's very motivating.
So that way, if you see it onyour list and you think reading
for five minutes before bed,doing breath work for five
(07:57):
minutes in the morning, doing aworkout class three times a week
, going on a walk to see thesunlight earlier in the day if
you just incorporate iteffortlessly, then it doesn't
have to be that big of a deal,but you can reward yourself in
the end so that it isintentional and you're
continuing to work towards agoal.
Yuli (08:16):
No, it definitely works.
As a parent, I can admit thatthe reward system the reward
system?
Mary (08:23):
Yeah, it's amazing.
Yuli (08:24):
And what kind of mindfulness activities, let's
say, you would recommend for aneight-year-old right let's pick
kind of an age in between.
Give us some examples thatwould be realistic, that this
age group is going to be excitedabout and they can definitely
(08:47):
incorporate into their day.
Mary (08:48):
Okay, so I would let your eight-year-old be a part of
creating this, right?
So talk about it with youreight-year-old and say hey, I
noticed sometimes at night we'rekind of fighting a little bit
before bed.
Let's talk about that and let'scome up with some systems to
help with that.
Or I notice in the morning it'sso hard for you to get ready
for school where I'm alwaysyelling at you in the morning
(09:08):
hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.
I want to stop doing that.
Let's talk about it.
What could we do together?
And your eight-year-old wouldprobably have ideas about how to
make those transition timeseasier, right?
So maybe your eight-year-oldmight say okay, in the morning
it's just so stressful, I'mtired and I'm hurrying to eat my
(09:30):
breakfast and then I alwaysforget my homework folder or
this and that.
Figure it out together as asystem to just add more presence
, more mindfulness to thatmorning routine and set yourself
up for success.
So maybe it's okay, let's worktogether.
What do you think about puttingyour homework folder in your
backpack the night before?
Yeah, okay, that would makesense.
(09:51):
So maybe you add that on yoursticker chart and he earns a
point for that, right?
Maybe in the morning he decidesI don't really like this kind
of breakfast, I actually wantsomething else that's going to
help me focus better.
And then you experiment withthat for a little bit and you
talk about hey, how did yourbreakfast make you feel?
And he might say, yeah, it wasso much better.
Having a smoothie was actuallyquicker, it gave me some of my
(10:12):
time back.
Or maybe at night, theeight-year-old is playing a
video game before bed and thenhe's kind of annoyed when the
video game is disrupted becauseit's time for him to go to bed.
So maybe you say, hey, I wantyou to have that video game time
.
How about we do it beforedinner?
That way at nighttime we have alittle bit more time to read a
book and do something a littlebit more gentle before bed.
(10:34):
So I think it's really justabout the parent and the child
creating a system together thatfeels good for both people, that
really creates healthy habitsfor success.
Yuli (10:46):
So in terms of the do's and don'ts and I know, for me
definitely no screens afterdinner is the absolute must,
because I feel like that setssuch a bad habit in terms of the
sleep quality and everythingkind of snowballs from there,
and it seems like you're inagreement with that.
But anything else that is quicktips that will help improve the
(11:13):
overall well-being throughoutthe day morning, evening time,
weekends.
Mary (11:18):
Yes, two things come to mind.
What about sunlight?
First thing, in the morning,depending on where you live, can
breakfast be outside.
If the weather is appropriate,can you go on a little walk
around the block before schoolstarts?
Can you walk to school?
Can you put your feet in thegrass?
Can you just open the shadesand open the windows?
First thing, just some sort oftransition to have the day start
(11:42):
with a more vibrant energywould be really, really helpful.
And then it's something youalmost look forward to is
opening the blinds every day orstepping out for the fresh air
every day.
That could just be a simplewellbeing tip that really
benefits your life overall andkind of can change the energy of
the home.
Kind of can change the energyof the home.
(12:10):
And then the second thing um, Ilost it.
Let me think for a healthyhabit throughout the day, our
weekend, yes.
Another thing is that kids arebeing told.
Tell me if you agree with thisas a parent.
Kids are being told what to doall day, every day.
From the moment they wake up,they're probably getting woken
up by their parent telling themto wake up.
Then they're being rushed outthe door breakfast, you know the
(12:32):
whole transition to get toschool.
As soon as they get to school,it's like teachers,
administrators, telling themwhat to do all day long.
Then they might go to anafterschool class or meet with a
coach.
Then they're being told to dotheir homework.
Then they're being told it'sdinner time, brush your teeth,
go to bed, etc.
Right, so when do kids ever getan opportunity just to think to
themselves and think with theirown brain and self-reflect on
(12:54):
their own day and just have amoment of silence and stillness
and pause?
Or when do kids ever have atime to be bored?
So I would advise having justsome downtime to self-regulate
and just have free time to bebored.
So I would advise having justsome downtime to self-regulate
and just have free time to bebored and just allow for there
to be a little bit offlexibility through the schedule
(13:15):
.
And also, if you're a parentand I know this as a teacher
sometimes we kind of get intothe habit where we're constantly
telling the student or thechild to do the next thing.
If you can just say it once andthen just allow for a little
bit, rather than the constantfollow-up, and just see how they
do with a little bit more space, because they probably are very
(13:36):
capable of doing it and we'reprobably, as adults, inserting
ourselves a little bit too much.
Yuli (13:42):
Oh, my god, you really hit a nerve here because it's
something that I noticed myself.
How um and I have been withoutkids for the last few days
because they're on vacation, soI noticed that a lot when
they're not around.
How much less I just have totell people what to do and stay
(14:02):
on top of things.
Right, it's so liberating notto have to do that.
But it also highlighted thecontrast how much I'm constantly
, throughout the day, basicallybusy telling them what to do.
And I had the same exactthought.
And sometimes, you know, it'sfrustrating too, because most
parents we have to say things atleast five to ten times before
(14:25):
they actually happen.
And it's like this vicious cycle, right, and then you really
find yourself and you know thereare certain days that you need
to move through the day andthere's a schedule and there's a
lot of things that need to beaccomplished, but you find
yourself just repeatingdirections all day long.
And you know, part of me think,sometimes we did an experiment
(14:49):
with our older son, who's a yearold, just to make him in charge
of his own morning, and thatwas such an empowerment exercise
because we said listen, youknow, you need to catch the
school bus at 8 o'clock.
You know, you know how muchtime you have.
You have a watch.
Can you try and manage your owntime?
And these are the things thatneed to happen.
(15:11):
And it was rough, you know, fora few days and you know we had
to kind of direct him a littlebit but slowly it definitely
created like more responsibilityand less of a need to give
constant direction, because as aparent it's just exhausting,
right.
Mary (15:29):
I love that.
That is so self-empowering.
The feeling of self-empowerment, I think, is one of the best
feelings ever, and I think thatwhen we tell kids to do
something five times in a row,they're going to expect you the
next day to say it five times ina row.
They're going to ignore you thefirst four times because that's
just the routine now.
But if you can say we'releaving at 8 o'clock, it's now
(15:51):
7.55, look at the time, I'll beback here at 8 o'clock, and then
you give yourself five minutesto do what you need to do and
then you come back right ateight o'clock and then doing it
in that much more calm way, thenthey realize oh, I can actually
look at the clock myself, whichis what you just taught your
son.
So I love that approach thankyou.
Yuli (16:12):
Any other tips for empowerment specifically because
I'm really this is one areathat at least I'm trying to.
My goal for my kids is to raisethem independent,
self-sufficient, empowered, youknow, confident, and I do think
it's part of their well-beingpackage right, Because
(16:34):
everything starts in the mind.
Any other ideas or tips how tomake them self-empowered and
make those good choices forthemselves?
Mary (16:44):
Yes, mindset is so important and self-awareness is
so important.
So that's when guidedmeditation and visualization
would come in, and also justhaving that downtime for them to
be able to think themselves.
So, whether you do this throughconversation, through
journaling, through writing,through drawing, through
meditation, just giving them anopportunity to almost learn how
(17:07):
to goal set for themselves, soyou might say, okay, you're
going into fourth grade thisyear.
This is a great time becausekids are going back to school
and say, hey, you're going intofourth grade.
I want to sit down with you for30 minutes and let's talk about
who you wanna be in fourthgrade.
So, who do you wanna be on thefirst day of school?
What kind of person are you?
(17:28):
And they might be a little bituncomfortable.
I tend to find that students areprobably more comfortable doing
this with me or an outsidecoach than they are with their
own parent.
But you could adapt themodality draw a picture, you
know, write a note, talk aboutit, visualize.
You don't even have to share,you can just think of it
privately.
But to feel self-empowered, tosay, okay, who do you want to be
(17:49):
on your first day of school?
Who do you want to be this yearin fourth grade what's your
goal with your schoolwork?
What's your goal with yourfriends?
What's your goal outside ofschool?
What's your goal at home?
And just kind of let themvisualize who they want to be
and then you could say Okay,well, in order to be that person
(18:09):
, what kind of things do youthink you need to do every day?
So if your goal is to get yourgrades up in math this year,
what do you think would help youdo that?
Tell me, as a parent, how I canhelp you.
Do you need a math tutor?
Do you need me to buy you mathflashcards and we practice in
the car every day?
What could we do to help youget to those goals?
(18:31):
So that way they'reself-empowered, because it's not
goals that you're putting onthem, it's goals that they've
actually become self-awareenough to think for themselves.
And then the whole concept ofyour identity like James Clear
talks about this a lot in hisbook Atomic Habits is, if it's
your identity, where you're thekind of person who does this and
(18:51):
they start to show up as thatkind of person, then they're
more likely to do the habits toget them to the goal.
So really teaching that from ayoung age, I think is absolutely
possible.
Yuli (19:01):
Amazing.
And when it comes to changinghabits, I'm curious from your
experience how long does it taketo kids to reshape their habits
, their behavior?
Mary (19:11):
I think it depends on consistency and the reward.
So it could be really simple Ifyou had a really simple stick,
a chart.
Maybe there was one thing onyour sticker chart on the fridge
that your child was going to.
What would be a good example ofa simple thing that a child
could do like one habit um, likemaybe, or tidying up their room
(19:35):
yeah, okay.
so every day before dinner theyhave to tidy up their room and
and that's their one and onlygoal, if you put a sticker chart
on the fringe.
Every day for seven days theyhad to tidy up their room before
dinner, and every day maybe yougave them one little reminder
and then afterwards you gavethem a comment of positive
(19:55):
reinforcement and then at theend of the week they got to earn
a prize.
That seems so simple, and theprize doesn't have to be
anything crazy.
I mean, it could be somethingthat you were going to do for
the child anyway.
You know, like, maybe on Sundayyou have plans on the calendar
to take the kids on a play date,to go get ice cream.
You're going to do that anyway.
Just you know, pretend like, oh,this is your prize for reaching
(20:19):
that habit goal for seven days.
And then like, oh, this is yourprize for reaching that habit
goal for seven days.
And then you know the amount oftime it might take for them to
be able to do it without asticker chart, might be a few
weeks.
But then maybe you could justsay, okay, now that you've met
this goal for one week, nowlet's put two goals on the
sticker chart.
So then they keep on doing thefirst habit, but then you're
able to add in a second habitand just give a lot of positive
(20:40):
reinforcement to that.
Yuli (20:43):
So, since you mentioned positive reinforcement in every
word, so this is another subjectthat I'm really curious about,
because I feel like, especiallyin the American culture in
general, we're so great withpositive reinforcement, right,
it's almost like everyone isdoing an amazing job, everyone
is a genius in what they do.
What's the right balance toempower without maybe creating a
(21:06):
false sense of accomplishmentconstantly?
Mary (21:12):
Yeah, I think that there's things that, as humans, we're
just required to do, where youknow we should be sharing, we
should be kind, we should behelping out around the house.
Those are just requirements, soit doesn't necessarily have to
be wow, you put your dish in thesink.
Amazing, you're such a big kid,you know.
It could just be thank you forhelping out or that really
(21:35):
helped me.
So instead you're sending twomessages where you are giving
them the positive reinforcement,but you're also just saying,
yeah, you're being an activeparticipant in the household.
So it doesn't have to be anover-the-top thing, but just
kind of noticing.
We all like to receive acompliment, right?
(21:55):
So just noticing, giving acompliment here and there when
you know that they're reallytrying their best, I think can
go a long way, but it can alsostill be expected behavior.
Yuli (22:08):
Love that.
And since we're talking aboutwellness overall and well-being,
and I think food and nutritionis a big part of it, what is
your point of view on foodrewards?
Because this is one of my petpeeves when people say, well, if
you do this well, you're goingto get an ice cream.
Right, I feel like, personally,that it creates this unhealthy
(22:32):
relationship with food as areward system instead of it
being kind of the nourishing,nurturing element of our
wellbeing.
Um, what is the?
What is the do and don'ts, um,in your opinion?
Mary (22:47):
I agree with you and I think it could be.
It could go either way, I dosee it.
I do agree with you where youdon't want food to be this
reward thing where we'reconstantly, you know, kind of
depriving ourselves of an icecream and we only get an ice
cream if we earn it.
It should be a little bit moreintuitive than that.
So that's kind of entering adangerous zone.
(23:07):
So I agree with you there.
It could perhaps be where youtalk to your child about, you
know, healthy eating.
So maybe you have a meal plan,you know.
You talk about what's.
We're going grocery shopping onSunday.
Here's what we're going to becooking this week.
You know that kind of thing.
And you're just talking openlyabout food.
How did this food make you feelI love this kind of vegetable?
(23:30):
What do you like?
You know, just having openconversations about food and
then having open conversationsabout treats and just saying
there's treats out there thatare so delicious but they're
made to be treats and you couldsay my favorite treat is mint
chocolate chip ice cream, but Iknow that if I ate it all the
time it would make me feel sick.
(23:50):
So I don't really eat it allthe time.
But I know that when I go toMaine every summer there's this
particular ice cream shop whereI just love their mint chocolate
ice cream.
So that's a time where it feelslike a good choice for me, so
you can actually just introducetreats in a way and explain to
them that they are treats andthen that way it's a more
(24:14):
realistic approach.
But I do agree that if you arechoosing a reward system and
they're constantly asking everyweek they want their reward to
be a cupcake, then maybe youhave to lead them.
Lead them down a different path, and I mean, I think, as a
parent not not to totally trickyour child, but as a parent give
them a reward that you almostwould have given them anyway.
You know, let's say, they'rereally into books and they want
(24:37):
the next book in the HarryPotter series.
You, you would probably givethat to them anyway, but they
really are so excited about it.
So make that the reward.
Or you're noticing that theyreally need a new pair of
pajamas, you know.
So instead, you're going to buyit for them anyway, but make
that the reward.
That way it's not actuallycosting you more money, but it
(24:58):
is something that every timethey look at those pajamas, they
might think oh, I earned that.
That was really, that wasreally cool how I earned that.
Yuli (25:05):
I love that.
Yeah, I love especially, I feellike when we go to back to
school there are so many thingsto that we need to get for kids.
But use it as a instead of justkind of automatically buying it
.
Make them part of the processand make them actually earn it.
I love that yeah and let's talkabout movement, because I know
(25:25):
this is a big part of what youdo and I'm really curious.
My kids were really fortunateto get yoga classes in their
amazing school and you know memyself, I've had those amazing
yoga cards from the very earlyage that I got for them and now
they know the poses.
It's like a game and hasdifferent like animal drawings,
(25:47):
and it really got them into yoga.
So this is like oneaccomplishment that I give
myself a sticker for as a parent.
Yes, all the flowers, any othertips, um you know, with yoga
specifically um to help get kidsinto it.
Let's say, if they don't haveum an opportunity to to do
(26:09):
through school or through otherafter school activities or other
movement practices that reallyum connect the body, mind and
spirit my biggest philosophywith movement is it just helps
us process our emotions and itstops us from rumination right.
Mary (26:28):
So I'm sure everyone listening has experience where
you're ruminating aboutsomething and you go on a walk
and it completely clears yourmind, or you come up with a
creative idea on a walk, oryou're super frustrated about
something in the morning.
You received a work email andthen you go to your daily
workout class and by the end ofthe workout class that email is
not that frustrating and youknow exactly how you're going to
(26:49):
handle it.
So having kids identify thatmovement can help with their
mood is a huge self-awarenessrealization and the younger you
can learn that the better.
And to illustrate an example, Iwas teaching a first grade
classroom.
This experience happened acouple years ago.
This example I was teaching afirst grade classroom, my poga
(27:11):
method and I was walking intothe classroom at 8 30 in the
morning for their weeklyThursday morning lesson.
So the kids know the drill assoon as they see me they go to
the rug and they sit in a circleand we get started with that
lesson.
And on this particular day Iwalked in and this little boy
was in full rumination and hecame up to me and he said that
(27:32):
something happened this morningwith roblox and he was so
stressed about it and and allthis stuff.
And I'm not a parent yet, so Idon't exactly understand what
roblox is, but I could sensethat he was anxious and it was
really fogging his mind.
So I said, ok, it's OK.
You know, I kind of just put myhand on his shoulder and guided
him over, you know, with theother 20 kids to the circle and
(27:52):
we did our whole lesson, whichincorporates mindfulness,
movement through yoga andPilates and meditation.
And at the end of the wholemovement exercise, which lasted
for about 20 minutes, I oftenask the kids raise your hand if
you want to share how you feel.
And kids are often saying I feelcalm, I feel good, I feel happy
(28:12):
, I feel peaceful.
And this one boy was almost indisbelief where he said, wow, I
had so many thoughts in my mindbefore, and now I just feel
nothing.
And he just identified that allof those anxious thoughts about
Roblox just kind of driftedaway and he said, yeah, I feel
really good now.
(28:33):
So that made me so happybecause no matter what kind of
movement it is, it's just givingyour body an opportunity to
work through those emotions,process those emotions and get
them out, and then, with a clearmind, you can move forward with
your day.
So any kind of movement,whether it's a walk, a soccer
class, a yoga class, anythingincorporating movement
(28:54):
throughout your day is justunbelievably beneficial amazing
now, what a story.
Yuli (29:01):
So can you share a little bit more about the Poga method,
because I think it's reallyincredible what you're doing and
so unique.
Thank you.
Mary (29:08):
Yes, so I.
My background is a dancer.
I was a ballet dancer growingup.
I grew up in Australia and thenI moved to the States for
college and I studied to be aspecial education teacher.
So both my undergrad and mymaster's degree is in special ed
and I became a specialeducation teacher for
kindergarten through fifth gradegrades at the Beverly Hills
(29:30):
Unified School District foreight years and I loved the job.
So now the school district isactually one of my clients.
But when I was teaching I gotsuper into Pilates.
That's kind of the commonpipeline from a dancer to
Pilates, right.
So I would take a Pilates classevery morning before work, from
seven till eight.
I would be at work by 8.10 andI would just feel incredible
(29:55):
walking into my classroom.
So you know, you know thefeeling after any sort of
workout or just prioritizingmyself first thing in the
morning.
I just felt great.
By the time I got to work Iwould sit on a big, huge Pilates
ball, one of those massiveballs that you see at the gym,
instead of a desk chair, ateacher chair, and I highly
recommend that.
I know that standing desks arevery popular.
(30:16):
Another alternative if you wantto sit is sit on that pilates
ball because it engages yourcore and that gentle movement
just kind of keeps your mindalert.
So I would sit on a pilatesball.
So all of my students would say, teach us some pilates, miss
Montague.
We want to learn pilates.
And you know, at first I kind ofthought, okay, it's an avoidant
behavior.
(30:37):
You know they want to avoidtheir work and you know,
distract me and learn some pil.
So it was just kind of aninside joke for a little bit.
But I noticed that the first 30minutes of the day in my
classroom were our leastproductive time.
I always felt that the kidsneeded a little bit of a warm up
period to get really focusedfor their academics and the
(31:00):
academic output wasn't as goodfor the first 30 minutes.
It just took them a little timeto settle in.
So one day when they wereparticularly unfocused and
granted, these are kids who havemild to moderate disabilities,
so maybe ADHD, a learningdisability, they're on the
autism spectrum, etc.
One day I just said, okay,everyone, get out of your desks,
(31:25):
come to the rug and I'm goingto teach you some Pilates.
And they were like finally,you're going to teach us some of
your Pilates.
So we spent probably about 10minutes just gentle stretching,
a few little core exercises,some breathing together as a
group, and they loved it.
And this was my light bulbmoment for my business, where I
(31:46):
just realized how connected wewere, for those 10 minutes where
they all just breathed togetherwith me and got so focused on
their mind-body connection andthey were so centered that after
10 minutes when we went back totheir desk, we didn't waste any
time.
We had just caught up and wereable to 2x the amount of time
(32:08):
moving forward.
So from that point on Irealized, okay, these kind of
modalities of movement, breathwork, mindfulness, stretching
within the classroom for littletiny breaks to help kids focus
and self-regulate and really tohelp with transitions, is going
to be hugely beneficial.
And that was 10 years ago.
(32:31):
So now, luckily, a lot ofschools have caught on to this
and I think every adult agrees.
Everyone says I wish I had thiswhen I was a kid.
So really, that's how it began.
It was very, very organic.
Yuli (32:39):
I love that so much and I mean it makes so much sense.
Uh, I mean it makes so muchsense.
I mean, again, watching my kidsafter some of those practices,
it's, uh, it's really that yousee a huge difference and uh,
how did it grow since then?
So you had this light bulbmoment, but you were still
teaching.
Can you fast forward us totoday?
Mary (33:02):
yes, step by step, and that's something I have to
constantly remind myself is youdon't know what you're doing
when you're building somethingand you just have to take one
step and then the next step andthen it's a compound effect.
So at the time, I wasn'tcertified yet.
As soon as I realized howbeneficial it was, I thought,
okay, is Pilates for kids athing?
(33:22):
Let me make it a thing.
So let me go and get Pilatescertified, yoga certified, yoga
for kids certified, et cetera,and I really dove into it.
And then, about a year later,in 2015, I left my teaching job
and I said, okay, I'm going toteach Pilates for kids full time
.
And then it ended up beingPilates and yoga combined, which
(33:43):
is really the method that Icreated that I think works the
best for kids, and that started10 years ago the Poga method.
So Pilates being body controlthat's what Pilates was
originally called by JosephPilates is contrology mixed with
yoga, which you can do so manythings for kids with yoga, as
(34:04):
you mentioned the flashcardsbefore, and we're doing cat and
cow and making moo and meowsounds, depending on the grade
level.
Combining Pilates and yogatogether is really the sweet
spot, and then, over time, Irealized how much attention was
needed for mental health andsocial emotional skills.
So then we've added two morepillars of meditation and
mindfulness.
(34:24):
And my first year teaching Ithink I was in three classrooms.
Now the Poga method is in about50 classrooms and growing and
just step by step, more and moreteachers, administrators and
parents asked for it and we justkept building and growing from
there.
Yuli (34:42):
That is incredible.
I mean, those kids are so luckyto learn from you all those
amazing modalities at such anearly age.
So how can people or schools orindividuals work with you?
Mary (34:55):
Okay, so the best way to find me is on Instagram, the
Poga method, and you can go tothe link in bio for all sorts of
links for how you can work withme In person, two ways.
The first way is in both LosAngeles and New York.
It's myself and a team of POGAteachers where we teach in
school classrooms, private homes, after school classes, we do
(35:18):
events and workshops and summercamps.
So get in touch with me via thelink on my Instagram.
You can book a freeconsultation call if you want,
and we can do in-personclassroom, in-person classes for
you.
Also, if you don't live in LosAngeles or New York and you want
to work with me virtually, Iwork with clients and families
on meditation, mindfulnesstechniques and mindset coaching.
(35:41):
So there's a link in my bio forthat as well.
And then, product wise and low,very low cost wise, I have this
book, actually Damien the Cow, ayoga story for kids.
So this is on Amazon.
I recommend this book for agesthree to eight and it's a
mindful message about friendship.
There's breathing exercises inhere and a number of different
(36:02):
yoga poses that create a funyoga sequence.
And then I also have Mary'sMedis, which are 10 very
bite-sized five-minute guidedmeditation visualization
exercises for families that youcan also download.
Yuli (36:19):
Amazing.
I love all these incredibleofferings and there is something
for everyone, and I can't waitto try actually your meditations
with my kids once they comeback from their vacation, and I
can't wait for that and that'san amazing back to school new
habit that I would like toestablish yes, you can put that
(36:40):
on the stick a chat well, it'sbeen a really amazing
conversation and I just have somany more questions, but I know
we're running out of time so Iwanted to give you an
opportunity to cover anythingelse like that we haven't said
that you felt would be reallyimportant for parents to know,
any other kind of big, big wordsof advice?
Mary (37:04):
I think, just it.
You're never too old and you'renever too young to do something
that's going to create ahealthy habit for yourself.
So if you feel that you're notwhere you want to be, just make
one commitment to start one newhabit this week and try to do it
seven days in a row and giveyourself a reward afterwards.
(37:26):
It's not too late.
Just start today, and the samegoes for your child.
If you feel like you've startedsome bad habits in your home,
start again.
You can always start again.
It's never too early and it'snever too late.
Yuli (37:41):
I love that Well, you inspired me to try a whole set
of new habits for my family andsuch a pleasure to have you and
again.
All those beautiful childrenthat benefit from your Poga
method are extremely fortunate.
Thank you for having that lightbulb moment and bringing your
wisdom to all of us.
(38:02):
And what a pleasure.
Mary (38:04):
Yes, thank you, yuli, and I love the community that you've
created, so I really appreciatejust getting to sit down and
have time with you today.
Yuli (38:12):
Amazing.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Cardiac Cowboys
The heart was always off-limits to surgeons. Cutting into it spelled instant death for the patient. That is, until a ragtag group of doctors scattered across the Midwest and Texas decided to throw out the rule book. Working in makeshift laboratories and home garages, using medical devices made from scavenged machine parts and beer tubes, these men and women invented the field of open heart surgery. Odds are, someone you know is alive because of them. So why has history left them behind? Presented by Chris Pine, CARDIAC COWBOYS tells the gripping true story behind the birth of heart surgery, and the young, Greatest Generation doctors who made it happen. For years, they competed and feuded, racing to be the first, the best, and the most prolific. Some appeared on the cover of Time Magazine, operated on kings and advised presidents. Others ended up disgraced, penniless, and convicted of felonies. Together, they ignited a revolution in medicine, and changed the world.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.