April 3, 2024 • 58 mins
In this episode, my guest James Reagan of the How We Feel Project, and I talk about emotional intelligence and what it means to your health, harmony, and happiness, and how using a simple app can help you identify, understand and articulate your emotions rather than ignore them.
Emotional intelligence gives us the ability to read our instinctive feelings and those of others. It allows us to understand and label emotions as well as express and regulate them.
We show you how using a simple app can help you
- Identify, understand, and articulate your emotions rather than ignore them
- Implement strategies to become your best self even in tough moments
- Begin to recognize patterns in how you're feeling
- Deepen social connection with those closest to you while doing so.
Resources:
How We Feel App (Android)
How We Feel App (iPhone)
Become a How We Feel brand ambassador - get a free tote and emotions poster - simply email support@howwefeel.org.
Learn more about or donate to How We Feel here.
Resources and products mentioned in episode:
Dr. Becky Kennedy - Follow her on Instagram for more information on Deeply Feeling Kids and talking emotions with kids
Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman
Radiant Wellness Solutions Hike Like a Yogi Mindful Hiking Card Deck
Verilux® HappyLight® Luxe - Light Therapy Lamp
Other Resources:
Tired of feeling the pressure of life... always pushing through even when you want to just slow down? This is the tool you need to start allowing yourself the permission to do just that - stop trying so hard. Use this tracker to get out of your head, stop trying to fix and start truly cultivating health, harmony and happiness.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Cathy (00:01):
If as an adult, you aren't able to identify your
emotions or what you're feelingin any given moment.
It's likely going to be moredifficult to thrive in the full
essence of what health harmonyand happiness could look like
for you.
(01:18):
In this episode, we talk aboutemotional intelligence and what
it means to your health,harmony, and happiness, and how
using a simple app can help youidentify, understand and
articulate your emotions ratherthan ignore them.
Implement strategies to becomeyour best self, even in tough
moments, begin to recognizepatterns or rhythms in how
(01:43):
you're feeling.
And deepen social connectionwith those closest to you while
doing so.
Welcome to episode 96.
I'm your host, Cathy Stricker.
This episode was recorded backin January.
So there's talk and reminder ofwhat winter communicates to us,
but we are now in spring andheading hopefully into warmer
(02:07):
days.
All that being said, this is abeautiful episode.
And it's one, that's very closeto my heart because.
The app that we're talkingabout, which is the, how we
feel.
App is one that has drasticallychanged the way my family and my
husband and I communicate witheach other and has helped us
deepen our connection so much.
(02:28):
That's all I'm going to sayabout it.
I just want you to dive in andenjoy the show.
Hey friends.
Welcome back to the show.
I'm so grateful that you arehere today and that we are back
after a long winter break.
That seems like it kept going onand on with the snow days that
we had at least here in Iowa.
(02:49):
The weather's been kind of crazyaround the country so wherever
you are listening to this.
Cheers to winter.
We're here.
Use it as an opportunity or aninvitation to actually be in
winter.
Maybe that means you are slowingdown a bit.
Maybe that means you arereflecting inward just a bit and
taking the time to, um, To tuneinto your inner guidance to tune
(03:14):
into maybe just being instead ofdoing so much.
So today I'm going to talk alittle bit about, um, feelings
and emotions.
It now tends to be one of myfavorite things to talk about
and to work with clients on.
But let me give you a little bitof the backstory first.
So I have a couple deep feelingkids at home.
(03:37):
And if I'm honest, I was a deepfeeling kid who turned into a
deeply feeling adult and didn'tever really have the tools to
navigate my emotionalintelligence.
Yes, my mom tried, but thestubborn and perfectionist parts
of me probably resisted theguidance that she did give not
to her fault.
It just wasn't the approach thatI now know I needed when she was
(04:00):
trying to work with me on myemotions.
She didn't know that I was adeeply feeling kid.
I didn't know that I was adeeply feeling kid, but every
kid is different and deeplyfeeling kids as Dr.
Becky Kennedy.
Um, you can find her onInstagram.
Her Instagram handle is Dr.
Becky good inside.
She's fantastic when it comes totalking about emotions and
(04:23):
especially Emotions with yourkids.
She says that, um, we need tolearn how to navigate the
feelings of deeply feeling kidsa little bit differently than
other kids.
And I'm telling you that if mymom had known this back in the
eighties and nineties, Iprobably Would be a little bit
different person, but it'sbeautiful because I turned out
(04:46):
exactly how it was supposed to.
And now I get to use thisknowledge and this wisdom and
this information to help clientsand to help people just like you
out there, learn how to navigateyour feelings, maybe as an
adult.
So let me give you a littlebackground of what deeply
feeling kids might look like.
Uh, they might go zero to 60emotionally.
They probably hate talking abouttheir emotions and want to avoid
(05:09):
it at all costs.
But the truth is, if the rightstrategies are in place, they
can actually begin to embracethe range of emotions that they
do experience.
And I feel like that's kind ofhow I have ended up being where
I am today.
Um, but really I've observedthese deeply feeling kid
(05:29):
transformations and changes withmy own four year old and more
importantly, with myself, as Isaid, as an adult who has spent
years trying to understandmyself better and peel back the
layers to get my authentic.
Best self to get to thatauthentic best self underneath a
hardened shell of, um, of justkind of blocking things out or
(05:52):
wanting to seem like the bad assemotions are now one of my
favorite things to talk aboutand to learn about.
And in order to talk aboutemotions and learn about
emotions, you have to be soft,right?
You have to allow for thepeeling back to happen, but
talking about emotions, learningabout your emotions.
(06:12):
doesn't always make them easy.
It doesn't always makeexperiencing the emotions easy.
Learning to experiencefrustration, disappointment and
sadness in life are key toactually thriving as an adult.
Yet so many adults struggle witheven just identifying When
they're experiencing an emotionand what that emotion might be.
(06:33):
But awareness is always thefirst step.
So if as an adult, you aren'table to identify what you're
feeling, it's likely going to bemore difficult to thrive in the
full essence of what health,harmony, and happiness could
look like for you.
Emotions matter, whether theyare uplifting or heavy, we were
(06:53):
made with a whole spectrum ofemotions.
And.
That's how we were meant toactually experience life,
feeling all of those emotionsand all of those feelings and
having this wide variety ofthem.
Yes.
The name of this podcast ishealth, harmony, and happiness
with Cathy, but that doesn'tmean we aren't going to have or
(07:16):
experience the emotions thatbring us down that challenge our
faith or that try every ounce ofwho we are.
If you have kids.
And you have deeply feelingkids, you know what I'm talking
about, because there are manytimes that I want to pull my
hair out because it's reallyhard to get through to these
kids sometimes, but it's inthose heavy, maybe even draining
(07:39):
emotions when we experience.
suffering that we learn tocultivate endurance, which
ultimately produces faith, hope,and gratitude leading to
contentment in life.
And that's what health, harmony,and happiness is all about.
It's the wisdom that we gainupon reflection after the times
when we are experiencingunpleasant feelings that helps
(08:03):
us develop.
Resilience.
So in order to fully embodyhealth, harmony and happiness
and live authentically as ourbest selves, I believe we must
experience the unpleasant, Andbe able to own it, own those
times when we're not feelinggreat and to say yes to them.
We can then use that informationto create the life that we want
(08:26):
to be living.
Yale professor and foundingdirector of the Yale Center for
Emotional Intelligence, MarkBrackett, says that,"Emotional
intelligence gives us theability to read our instinctive
feelings and those of others.
It allows us to understand andlabel emotions as well as
express and regulate them." Hegoes on to say that"the ability
(08:50):
to reach, understand, andrespond to emotions in ourselves
and other people is a crucialfactor in predicting our health,
Happiness and professionalsuccess." And it's because of
this that my guest today, JamesReagan is with us for over a
decade, James has builttechnology products across a
(09:11):
number of industries forconsumers and businesses,
including targets, mobile appand metas, formerly Facebook's
business to business software.
James recently became the firstfull time employee of how we
feel a nonprofit organizationwith an award winning mobile app
on iOS and.
Android, how we feel as ascience backed, emotional
(09:32):
wellbeing product built inpartnership with the Yale center
for emotional intelligence.
And in my experience, and youguys have probably heard me talk
about it on the podcast, becauseI know that I have, and I
usually share the link to it inevery episode, this app is
incredible.
It's absolutely amazing.
Um, to get a little bitvulnerable, my husband and I
(09:55):
started marriage counseling thispast year, and.
One of the things our counselorrecommended to us was finding an
app, and she gave us the name ofsome others, um, that we could,
an app that basically was anemotion wheel, that we could
learn to start identifying ouremotions and share it with each
other.
And, um, one of my clientsactually came upon this app and
(10:18):
shared it with me.
And hands down, it changed theway we do everything.
It changed, um, how wecommunicated.
It actually got us talking aboutour emotions so much more than
just a basic emotions wheelbecause it allowed us the space
to pause and to actuallyconsider what is, what is it
(10:41):
that's making me have thisemotion or this feeling?
And then in the app.
We could even journal about itif we wanted to, um, or share it
with the other person so thatthey could know and also
experience the range of emotionsthat we experience throughout
the day, which, as I just readto you, is one of the
definitions of emotionalintelligence, um, helping
(11:02):
identify those emotions, notonly within yourself, but also
in others.
So James, after that long,lengthy introduction, thank you
so much for waiting patiently.
James (11:13):
Welcome.
Thank you so much.
It was beautiful intro is somuch there.
That was, that was, that waswonderful.
We were just talking too youabout being intentional outside
before, um, before we startedthe podcast.
And I, I love that intro onjust, um, spending some time to,
to just be, and maybe not somuch to just do.
(11:33):
And, uh, that really resonatedwith me and that's, that's my
plan for this weekend is to beoutside a little bit and just
embrace it.
Cathy (11:40):
I love it.
I love it.
You know, that's the message ofwinter.
And that's kind of the, that's alarge part of what I work with
people on is reminding them toalign their rhythms with the
rhythms of life around them, therhythms of the seasons.
Yet we create this culture ofdoing all the time, this culture
of busyness.
(12:01):
It's okay to give yourselfpermission to slow down, to give
yourself permission, to not rushall the time.
It depends on the season of lifethat you're in.
If you have kids with those kidstoo, um, but there are ways to
be intentional about slowingthem down as well.
And.
It frees up space to actuallylisten to those voices inside of
(12:24):
you, to listen to the, um, theheart, the intuition instead of
the outside world.
James (12:33):
I absolutely agree.
And inviting that intention inis a large part of my emotional
well being journey and how I gotinterested in this field and
what really led me to.
To want to be involved with howwe feel.
Um, and thank you for thatintro.
Um, and absolutely.
Um, I realized when I was, uh,in my work career, my
(12:54):
professional career, and youmentioned I worked at target and
I had worked at a meta as well,that, um, I started to becoming
interesting in certain facets ofmy life.
That ultimately led me towanting to explore more about my
own emotional well being, and itstarted at Target.
I became really interested inhow I was making decisions, um,
(13:16):
and, uh, what behaviors and, andinfluences were leading me to
make decisions.
I had read a book calledThinking Fast and Slow by Daniel
Kahneman, and ended up going toa workshop on decision making
that was hosted by ShaneParrish.
He runs a blog called FarnhamStreet.
And it's all about decisionmaking.
(13:36):
And so I just became reallyinterested at how, how is James
making decisions and why is hemaking certain decisions?
Because I had had no previousformal education and, um, and
really decision making or anemotional wellbeing and
intelligence.
Um, and so I started to explorethis and then, and when I joined
Meta, I had the opportunity tojoin a seven to eight week class
(13:59):
on, uh, that was, uh, that washosted by somebody who is a
Search Inside YourselfLeadership Institute
practitioner.
So they had been certified inthis coaching technique called
Search Inside Yourself andSearch Inside Yourself is a
blend of neuroscience.
and leadership and emotionalintelligence.
And that was really when Istarted to connect the dots that
(14:20):
my emotional wellbeing wasleading to certain decision
making, um, outcomes for me.
And, uh, and, and yeah, now I'm,I'm working at how we feel and I
have this opportunity to work onthis emotional wellbeing journal
and I can really finally startto catalog My day and the
emotions I'm feeling throughoutmy day and how that might be
(14:41):
leading me to certain decisionsor outcomes.
And it's been really just anincredible journey for me.
Like you mentioned, Dr.
Mark Brackett, um, he's one of ascientific advisors that's
helping our team.
We've taken this program he hahe has called RULER, and that's
an acronym, it stands forRecognize, Understand, Label,
(15:04):
Express, and Regulate YourEmotions.
Now, RULER has been rolled outto, I want to say, four to five
thousand schools across theworld.
And so, younger generations arefortunately becoming more
introduced to this concept ofemotional well being earlier in
life.
Whereas, um, Our demographic,this was not something that was,
(15:25):
was, was really, um, taught inschools or, or really just
discussed
Cathy (15:29):
from the parent to child level.
Let's stick with the math,science and reading, you know,
like, I mean, there was a littlebit when I was growing up, but
it was very small and not a bigemphasis.
So this program is prettyphenomenal.
Um, I just, I had looked into itmore when I was researching for
this and it's pretty incredible.
James (15:51):
Oh yeah, absolutely.
Um, and I've just really felt adeep connection to the mission
that how we feel has, and it'sbeen, it's been a lot of.
Not only fun, but, um, it'screated a lot of additional
meaning for me to be working intechnology and to be working on
this type of product thatyesterday we had a team meeting
(16:14):
and actually it was Dr.
Mark that said, you can't talkabout, um, you can't talk about
wellbeing without talking abouttechnology nowadays, right?
They're so intertwined and, um,and so, you know, being able to
work on this for me is, isreally important.
Cathy (16:29):
So you didn't come necessarily from the, um, from
the.
Psychology side of things fromthe mental, emotional side of
things.
You came from more a technologybackground,
James (16:41):
right?
Yeah, correct.
Yeah.
I started working on what wasthe interest.
Cathy (16:46):
I know you had said that when you were working at target,
you had this interest in, um,how you were making decisions.
What prompted that?
Like, why, why even, Oh, I I'mjust wondering how I make
decisions.
I mean, that's kind of aninteresting, um, trailhead, I
guess.
James (17:02):
Yeah, yeah.
Thank you for asking that.
So, um, I would say the genesisfor that interest was I was
considering doing a master's inbusiness and I started to seek
out the reading lists from someof the programs that I was
interested in.
And, um, on the reading list,uh, one of the reading lists was
(17:25):
this book.
Um, thinking fast and slow and,uh, and, uh, Daniel Kahneman.
And I, and I believe, um, someof his, the other researchers he
was working with ended upwinning a Nobel prize for their
findings in this book.
But it really was just afascinating, fascinating, um,
uh, look into, into justdecision making and how these
(17:47):
people make decisions.
And, and I would say that, youknow, people will read books,
Often, at least I hope they do.
And that they, they takesomething meaningful away from
the books that they're reading.
And, and usually that's maybenot enough to become deeply
interested in something.
What really for me ended upbeing, um, something that I
really took away from the bookwhere I was like, wow, this is
(18:08):
super fascinating to me.
I took some of the concepts fromthe book and I applied them to
my team to see if there would bean outcome and some of the ways
we were working together.
So one of the things I did is,uh, In the book, there's this
concept of a remote associationtest and a remote association
test.
Um, initially they were createdto, to test people's creativity
(18:33):
and the way that these testswork are, you'll have three
words and you're supposed toguess what the fourth word is
that connects the three words.
So I'll give you an example.
We can do one together.
Um, here's three words.
One is broken on the spot.
Yeah.
Right.
One is, one is broken.
The second word is clear.
And the third word is I.
(18:56):
And then you have to find afourth word?
Fourth word that connects allthree of them.
Cathy (19:01):
Broken.
Clear.
James (19:03):
Eye.
Mm hmm.
And the, so a fourth word inthis case will be glass.
So it's eyeglass, broken glass,clear glass.
Oh, I get it.
Kind of, kind of, kind of, uh,that one's a little bit more
challenging.
Another one would be It's likea,
Cathy (19:16):
um, it's like a, uh, Wheel of Fortune puzzle.
Yeah.
James (19:22):
Yeah.
And like, here's anotherexample.
Square.
Cardboard.
Open.
Box.
Yes.
You got it, right?
So it's like, so, so, okay.
So what happens there is you.
Now you've made thisassociation.
And in this, what I was findingis, and also in the book, it
suggests this, but that when yougo through these tests and you
complete that, I don't want tocall it a puzzle, but when you
(19:45):
complete it, There's somethingthat happens to you that
generates some sort of cognitiveease.
And so I started to bring thesetests into, they're not really
tests, but I was bringing, I wasstarting my meetings with my
teams with these remoteassociation tests.
And it was sort of priming themfor the outcome for the meeting,
which I wanted to be.
(20:05):
For them to be more at ease withone another and for them to be
more creative with one anotherand working better with one
another.
And so I started to bring theseconcepts from this book into my
practice and I was like, wow,this is, this is really
fascinating for me.
And yeah, and so that's reallywhat I took.
I read the book.
(20:25):
I found the informationfascinating.
But then when I started to applyit, I, In my own ways.
And then my, you know, in theindustry I'm in, I was, I was
really kind of blown away andthen it just sort of like pulled
me along this journey about myown self and decision making,
how
Cathy (20:41):
am I being tried?
Isn't it amazing how one bookcan spark interest in something
else and leads us down a rabbittrail to other things.
And it's so beautiful.
So beautiful.
Um, okay.
You also mentioned somethingabout.
working on a journal, correct?
And keeping a journal.
(21:01):
Tell me more about that.
James (21:03):
Yeah.
So at how we feel, um, the appitself.
Is, uh, allows people.
So we have an interpretation ofa mood meter, which is four
quadrants where, uh, the fourquadrants represent the level of
intensity.
Uh, you might be feeling about aspecific emotion and, um, and
(21:25):
also.
Uh, whether that's like apositive or kind of a pleasant
or an unpleasant emotion.
Um, and so these four quadrantsare represented in colors, blue,
red, yellow, green.
Um, and our goal at one of ourgoals at how we feel is to help
people broaden their emotionallexicon.
(21:45):
So to directly find that emotionthey might be feeling so they
can describe it.
And when they describe it, thisis how I feel.
We also will hope thateventually they'll, um, Expound
a little bit more on why theymight be feeling that way and
it's okay if they don't know.
In fact, we have, I've used thejournal in a lot of different
ways.
Some is a little bit moreexploration where I'm saying,
(22:09):
Hey, you know what?
I feel like this morning I toldyou I feel really upbeat and I
think I know one of the reasonsis I get to connect with Cathy's
audience and, and just chat withher about the things that I'm
working on and what ourinterests are.
And, um, and that's one reason.
And another reason, um, Might bebecause, uh, you know, we talked
about this weekend.
I get to go and we'll get to beoutside and just focus on being
(22:30):
present and being in the moment.
And like you mentioned, though,your, your emotions over time
are going to change.
They're like the weather.
And sometimes you might befeeling an emotion or feeling
generally, maybe you're sad forsome reason.
Maybe you don't know why.
And that journal, we're reallytrying to, um, encourage people
to just explore, you know, whatthose reasons might be and, and
(22:51):
why they might be feeling acertain way.
And so the, yeah.
Cathy (22:56):
So the app is considered the journal in essence, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I haven't explored that much,but how, like when, well, I'm
just gonna let you tell me whenyou use it because I will do it
and I'll, um, I'll take notes inthere depending on where I'm at.
And we've talked about thisbefore in the past, like
depending on what I'm doing,depending on how strong the
(23:18):
emotion is.
Um, if it's a time when I'mreally feeling a very strong
sense of an emotion and I needto process it.
I'll either process it on paperin my paper journal, or I'll
just in the app, go ahead andtake notes on it.
And I love that it now promptsyou like what's making you feel
this way, or what is it thatcould be contributing to this?
(23:40):
Because then you can go in andjust do your journaling right
there.
Once you have that informationin that journaling, and I
haven't ever gone back and liketried to look or reflect
reflected on it, but can you goback then and like pull it up
and be I don't know.
I explored the old version morethan I have explored this new
updated version, I guess.
(24:00):
So tell me about that.
James (24:02):
Yeah, absolutely.
And I'm really happy that you'resharing this with me because
then it gives me an opportunityas well to understand your
experience with the, with thejournal and how it's helped or
what could be changed.
We're always looking forfeedback on this, um, by the
way, if any of the listenersended up using the product.
Yes, you can go back and findprevious journal entries.
(24:24):
Uh, the easiest way to do thiswould be After you've checked
in, we call it an emotion checkin.
So you're selecting an emotion.
You can select up to twoemotions at a time.
You check in and sometimes Iwant
Cathy (24:35):
to select five, just so you know, as a deeply feeling
kid, I completely understandfeeling adults sometimes I'm
like, Oh, there's not enough
James (24:45):
team was talking about this yesterday.
And one of, one of our engineersis.
He, he wants to, to enable thattype of capability so that
people can multi select.
Um, but yeah, so you, so youcan, you select this emotion to
identify it and then, um, andthen we prompt the, you know, to
(25:05):
see if there's any more detailyou want to include with the
reason you selected that emotionand you can journal and then it
saves it.
And then if you're on your checkin tab and you scroll down,
you'll see all of your savedjournal entries.
Oh yeah.
And we've really tried to.
And you, and then to read theactual journal entry, you can
tap on it and it will open up.
And we've, we've referred tothis as sending an emotion
(25:28):
postcard to yourself because weallow you to take these photos
as well.
And then when you have thephoto, we overlay the text on
the photo.
We've really tried to invest inmaking it very visually
stimulating and appealing forpeople to want to really put the
care and intention intoDocumenting something for
themselves.
Um, so there, there is, um, thiselement where you can go back
(25:52):
and look, but I will say that itis something that we're actually
really trying to improve, whichis a way for people to really
quickly draw more insights outof their journal entries.
Today, there's.
You know, you as an individualkind of go in and you have to
tap in and look and read thesedifferent entries and our team
starting to discuss in thefuture.
Maybe there's a way that we canprovide a better summary for
(26:14):
people or something else likethat.
I
Cathy (26:16):
mean, with everything that we can do with AI, you
would think that there issomething that's beautiful.
That's amazing.
James (26:25):
Yeah.
That's the hope.
That's the hope, which isproviding people these.
Summaries based on the thingsthey're interested in learning.
So for example, when I'mchecking in and I've changed the
way that I check in over time,sometimes I will check in and
I'll, uh, I'll add a lot ofdetail or I'll try to check it
many times in a day.
And sometimes there'll be theseperiods where I'll go a few days
(26:48):
and not, not checking it all.
And I'll just kind of see whereI'm at and then come back to the
app.
Um, and, and we have this tab,it's called the analyze tab.
It lets you sort of see thesepatterns over time, because the
big part for us is.
It's not only helping you buildthat emotional lexicon, right,
to find the words that describethe way you feel, because Dr.
(27:09):
Mark, his, his, um, program isabout, you know, recognizing,
understanding, labeling.
And once you find that emotion,then you can figure out how to.
How to really regulate, how tochoose a strategy that works for
you.
And so what our team wants to dois we want to help you identify
these patterns for how you'refeeling.
And then we're also, we juststarted to work on this.
(27:31):
We're actually pretty close to,to releasing it.
And the app store soon is.
Introducing more interactivestrategies for people to adopt
if they want to regulate in theapp and you know some of these I
think you're probably alreadyfamiliar with which would be
certain breathing exercises ormove your body exercises where
(27:53):
people are actually physicallydoing something to try to make
themselves feel better.
I, I typically go out and I'llwalk, you know, just try to get
active or go to the gym.
But then we have other cognitivestrategies that we're going to
have in the app, which arereframing, looking at a
circumstance from differentlenses or different times.
And we have some other reallyfun ones in there.
(28:14):
And you, you mentioned in yourintro as well, being the best
version of yourself, one of thecategories, Of our strategies is
called best self.
And we have, we have some reallyfun ones that are going to be in
that category that will, will,um, that are very interactive
for people to kind of, they'reactually kind of creating a
strategy for themself.
(28:35):
And we walk you through thatprocess.
Cathy (28:37):
That's beautiful.
That's beautiful.
I'm super excited about theseupdates.
I'm not kidding.
This app, it's amazing.
It is.
It has literally changed ourlives only because I know that
like my husband, and I thinkthere's a lot of men out there
that are like this, but myhusband was a Marine.
He is in law enforcement.
Like he is basically the epitomeof don't share your emotions.
(29:01):
Don't share your feelings, stuffit down.
Don't, you know, talk about it.
So the process that I've beenable to witness.
With him and myself, um, gettingto actually start to talk about
our feelings and start to talkabout our emotions and the role
that the app has played has beenhuge, huge.
(29:22):
Um, so I tell everybody aboutit.
I tell everybody about it, but Ilove to hear that.
That like you're coming up withthese ways to keep prompting
like, Oh, here's some somaticexercises that you can maybe do.
Um, when you're feeling thisheightened sense of, you know,
anger or anxiety or whatever itmay be, because it's those times
that we have to, like you said,you go out and move your body,
(29:45):
but.
I would say that most people, ifthey are not in tune, they don't
realize that that's like energyin their body that needs to be
shifted or moved.
And the way to do that lots oftimes when it's, when it's one
of those intense feelings is toactually move their body to get
the energy moving and to dosomething.
And it doesn't have to beanything huge.
(30:07):
You know, it can be, um, it canbe just, you know, Certain types
of breath work, or it could beshaking your body and moving
your body for a couple ofminutes to help get that energy
out and moving to have thereminder in the instant.
Because we can become aware ofit.
We can put it in the journal andthen do nothing with it.
(30:29):
Right,
James (30:29):
right.
Cathy (30:30):
Yeah.
Based on working with clients,that is my, that's the biggest
thing that happens is even ifthey identify that, it's like,
well, I don't know what to dowith it now.
So it's learning what to do withit.
I
James (30:43):
really identify with these points.
I mean, the, the one you made aswell about men not being as in
touch, I would say that'ssimilar to my experience.
I have three brothers.
Um, and so I've asked them touse the app as well and to try
it.
And, um, it's been reallyinteresting.
My, one of my brothers has threekids and he said he, He has been
using the app and it's helpedhim and his kids talk a little
(31:04):
bit more about the specificemotion that they might be
feeling given a certaincircumstance and, and then to
have those discussionsafterwards.
Um, and then the, the point youhad on, on these strategies
right now, if you download theapp at this point in time, we
have videos in there.
Uh, in the app, um, that explaindifferent strategies that people
(31:26):
can do.
And what we've seen is thatwhile the videos are a very easy
format to consume, um, Thatit's, it's not something that,
how do I put this?
It's, it's, if you really see,if you check in and you're
really in the red zone, whichwould be something like you're
angry or uncomfortable, it's ahigh energy, unpleasant quadrant
(31:47):
for the mood meter, maybeyou're, you're anxious or you're
scared or, or something watchinga video may not really help as a
strategy for you to, for you to,to take, take that action and
regulate the emotion.
And so that's, that's kind ofwhere we're moving to, which is
more of.
Have have somebody give somebodyan opportunity to actually, um,
(32:10):
Do a breathing exercise right inthe app, right?
Um, instead of, instead ofteaching them about the
breathing exercise, we'll have away that people can set a A set
of repetitions and do thephysiological sigh or box
breathing, um, or other typesof, uh, uh, breathing exercises.
Yeah.
Cathy (32:28):
Yeah, that's beautiful.
That's beautiful.
Um, that's one of the thingsthat my, that I hear most often
from students and clients alsois like, can I just have your
voice?
Can you just, can you just, whenI'm, you know, when I'm in this.
To me, I'm like, well, I have tohave this feeling or this
emotion or when this ishappening.
Can I just have your voice popinto my ear and say whatever it
is I need to say or guide methrough this breathing?
And I'm like, well, yes, likeit's in the process.
(32:50):
I'm working on recording thosemeditations and recording
things, but like, that's thebiggest thing.
So if it's, it's still.
It's in there in the app, youknow, and it just can guide
people through it.
That's beautiful.
Yeah.
James (33:03):
Um, and, and like you mentioned too, I mean, that
energy is in people and, and,and getting up to move and
release that energy can be veryhelpful, but there's a lot, also
a lot of cases, right?
If you're working in an officeor some other place, you may be
a little bit restricted and weknow that those settings can
also be some of the cause orthe, The reason behind those
(33:23):
emotions, right?
Maybe you go into this meetingand it's, you know, it's not a,
it's not a great meeting or it'snot, um, it didn't go the way
you want and you may not havethat opportunity to just kind of
get up and get out, but we'll,we'll have ways that you can
kind of silently also take partin a strategy that could help
you be the, become the bestversion of yourself in that
(33:44):
moment.
And so I'm really lookingforward to this and hopefully it
resonates with, uh, with peoplethat are looking for these types
of strategies.
I love
Cathy (33:53):
it.
So you also mentioned earlier onthat, um, like having a
wellbeing app is kind of crucialto success these days to, to
just to thriving in your bestself, I guess.
Um, there's an app foreverything, right?
But what makes how we feelessential to.
(34:16):
To being in this arsenal of wellbeing apps that people are going
to every day and trying tocreate habits and lifestyle
changes.
James (34:26):
Yeah, this is a great question.
The market is really broad.
I, we've seen really dramaticchanges in the number of mobile
apps.
Um, over the last several years,especially because of of the
pandemic, of course, um, thatreally generated a lot of
interest in, um, emotional wellbeing and mindfulness, um, calm
(34:49):
became really popular.
I know a lot of people use thatas a, uh, as as an app.
Um, head space, talk space aswell.
Even apps that allow you toconnect with care providers.
The unique thing about how wefeel, I would say, um, what I've
seen recently with a lot ofthese apps, by the way, is that
with the feature sets that theyhave, so what you can do in
(35:11):
these apps is.
They're, they're largelybecoming similar in the sense
where you can do a lot of moodtracking and journaling and get
an educational component out ofmany of the apps.
Um, what sets how we feel apartis a few things.
Uh, the first is that we're, wehave a really deep partnership
(35:33):
with the Yale Center forEmotional Intelligence and that
scientific advisory team isreally helping us bring forth
scientific backed practices.
Science back practices.
And the second thing is that weare a nonprofit.
Um, we are not, um, we, we, wedon't charge a fee to use the
(35:54):
app.
There's no subscription fee oranything like that.
That's a big factor for us istrying to bring these practices
and learnings to everybody.
And I would say the third thingthat really sets us apart is.
Our team is really interested inthe craft of building a great
mobile experience.
And I hope that really comesthrough when people try the app.
(36:17):
It's, it's really beautifullydesigned and built, and we've
tried to make it really simple.
And, um, we put a lot of careand effort into trying to bring
a concept that can be sochallenging, like what emotion
am I feeling and making it easyfor people to do.
And, um, and so that would be,those would be the three reasons
(36:38):
I would say that How We feelstrying to stand out and be
unique.
And we're constantly going topush ourselves to build more
novel experiences for people.
Cathy (36:46):
Yeah.
I love it.
Um, and I mean, it, It's simple.
That's the other thing.
It's very, I feel like it's veryintuitive.
So I think that you guys havedefinitely hit the mark with,
with um, ease of use and, andallowing it to be accessible to
anybody.
This just came to me when wewere talking a bit ago is that I
(37:07):
kind of wish there were anoption for multiple profiles.
And it came to me when you weretalking about your brother with
his kids and that my kids, Iwish I could set up a profile
for my kids on my, cause theydon't have devices yet.
So I wish I could set up aprofile for my kids on there
because they like to sometimescheck in or sometimes when
they're having a hard timefiguring out what they're
(37:29):
feeling, then I'll just givethem mine and I'll have them
check in on my.
Because at least my big kids,cause they can at least read the
emotions and then we get to talkabout what they might mean, but
it's super helpful.
And I just think that would bereally cool then to have, Oh,
then I can see my, my family onthere too, or my kids on there.
I can see my husband's as muchas I can, as much as he shares
(37:51):
with me, but like an
James (37:54):
awesome feature.
Yeah.
Having anyway, so it's one, itis one thing we're exploring is
the, um, is, is allowing peopleto create an account.
So today There is no accountbased system.
And so it's.
Cathy (38:09):
Which also makes it super easy, by the way.
Like, you know, that's like, Oh,just get it, download it and get
James (38:15):
started.
You can start using it.
Right.
And, and we're thinking ofbuilding out a way that people
can, um, can create an account.
So that way, if they ever changedevices or if they ever want to
go from an Android to an Applephone, then they can take the
data with them.
But today it's all stored ontheir device.
Um, and that's why that's, wedon't have the multiple
accounts, but again, like it'ssomething that we are.
(38:37):
Um, going to be prioritizing.
Yeah.
Cathy (38:40):
Cool.
Um, kind of like, you know,messenger kids.
Like I can see my kids, all mykids, my kids profiles and
messenger kids, but somethingthat would be easy to click back
and forth between, um, would bea beautiful.
Upgrade at some point.
If I were dreaming, you know,and if I'm like, well, sky's the
(39:00):
limit.
James (39:01):
Yesterday, our team was in a session where all of us
were sharing our dreams andhopes for the app.
So this is right on, this isright at the time to be
Cathy (39:08):
sharing this for us.
Perfect.
Perfect.
We'll pass that along towhomever needs to hear it.
Um, because it is, Beautiful wayto also invite that conversation
with your kids at home.
And like I said, when you havedeeply feeling kids, you just
have to approach thingsdifferently.
And man, it's a learningexperience.
(39:28):
It's definitely a learningexperience.
I want to know also, would youshare with listeners how, how we
feel came about?
I know you've told me this storybefore when we've talked on the
phone, but how did this wholeconcept develop and how did it
come about and why?
James (39:44):
Yeah, great question.
Um, so I, I joined How We Feelin 2023, but at that time, the
organization, which because it'sa nonprofit, had already been
established for several years.
So How We Feel came about.
Initially, it was an app totrack COVID symptoms.
(40:04):
Um, and so the, the app wasgeared around trying to help
identify where there might be,um, people experiencing symptoms
of COVID.
And then the team was workingwith researchers to try to
understand if there was a waythat they could, um, use a
mobile app to, to try to helpthe response, the medical
(40:26):
response in the medicalcommunity understand more about.
COVID is it was, uh, you know, Ithink right at the beginning of
2020 and the pandemic, peoplejust weren't sure what was going
on.
And, um, everybody was lookingfor information and support.
And so the app really, the, the,how we feel project started as a
way to try to support those,those efforts, and they actually
(40:49):
had, uh, findings that werepublished in the nature for
human behavior and how the appwas able to help people that
were self reporting COVIDsymptoms.
Um, yeah.
And it was, yeah, so there's aresearch report out there about
what the app was able to do.
Then at some point, uh, I'm notexactly sure from a timeline
perspective when, but the appshifted to focus more on
(41:12):
emotional well being.
And I really, um, believe thatthat was, it's just an important
pivot for the app as well,because What we also saw at the
pandemic, not only from physicalsymptoms people were
experiencing, but there were alot of other emotional impacts
from the isolation, from thepandemic, from the lockdowns,
(41:35):
right?
We were just talking about the,the, the three days being shut
in due to the winter snow stormand, um, um, but, and that was
nothing compared to like, youknow, the, the weeks or months
that people were, were, youknow, We're essentially not
connecting with other peoplephysically.
They weren't sure whetherthey're able to.
And so the app started to focusmore on those impacts that the
pandemic had on people, whichwas this isolation and
(41:57):
loneliness and how people wereemotionally.
Responding to the events aroundthem.
And now that's become theprimary focus of the app is
it's, it's not pandemic relatedanymore, but it is, it's focused
on helping people understandtheir emotions.
Cathy (42:14):
It's so beautiful.
It's so beautiful.
What a beautiful thing to bebirthed or to come out of such a
strange time and such a, such achallenging time and challenging
time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
Well, James, I don't want tokeep you much longer.
Um, but is there anything elseyou want to say about the app or
(42:35):
about, um, how we feel thatlisteners need to know or could
benefit from?
James (42:42):
I would say the only thing.
That, um, I don't think wediscussed much about so far.
It's just that there is anopportunity for you to connect
with other people through theapp.
Uh, so we have, we have a tab inthe app as well.
That's called friends where youcan add a friend or, um, a
connection.
Um, and you're able to sharethose journal entries if you
(43:04):
want with with your friends.
And so it's the apps gives youan outlet to build social
connection, and that's somethingthat we're also exploring more
deeply, which is, uh, Yeah, thatthere is some evidence to
suggest that as a strategy,we've talked about these
emotional regulation strategies.
One of them is, you know, whenyou need to connect with
(43:26):
somebody, you should reach outand connect and let them know
how you're feeling or.
Cathy (43:29):
Absolutely.
Community and being incommunity, even if it's just the
community of one other person isso therapeutic and so healing.
And We know that we were notmeant to, did we talked about
isolation?
We know that we were not meantto be, um, built in this, this
place where we live inisolation, where we live, um, by
ourselves and depend onourselves.
(43:51):
We were created to be incommunity with others.
And so to be able to invite alittle bit of vulnerability and
share, and I'm so glad youbrought this up because I know I
kind of breeze through like whyit's made an impact in my
husband and my life, but thebiggest part of that is that we
get to share with each otherthroughout the day and we get
(44:13):
these notifications Oh Matt'sfeeling upbeat Matt's feeling
confident Matt's feeling crappyThat's not one of the feelings
but like, you know, then I getto See what my husband is
feeling and experiencing.
And it invites the conversationfor us to be able to say, Hey,
what's going on?
What's going on?
Why are you feeling this?
(44:33):
Or, wow, you must've had areally great day because you
know, I saw that you werefeeling this earlier today.
And when we first started usingthe app, you couldn't share the
journal stuff, but now you canshare more with the person.
And I love it.
I absolutely love it.
I also have one of my clientswho, um, shares her stuff
occasionally with me too.
And it's.
It's super helpful.
(44:55):
So I love that you brought thatup because then it's just a
little nudge to be able tosupport the people in your
James (45:01):
life.
Yep.
You, you said it beautifully.
It's, it invites that, thatopportunity, the intention for
the, for the people to connect.
Yeah.
That's
Cathy (45:11):
awesome.
Okay.
Well, James, I always wrap thepodcast up when I have guests
with two final questions.
And so we're going to, we'regoing to go with those.
So the first one is.
Um, out of all of that we'vetalked about and, and with how
we feel and the journaling andeverything, how does all of this
cultivate greater health,harmony, and happiness in your
(45:32):
life?
James (45:35):
Yeah.
Um, I would, I would say that,uh, I mentioned this before, but
I really do subscribe to thisway of thinking and I believe in
it that you can't talk aboutmental health.
Um, without talking abouttechnology is the, is the first
part and that I, that I seepersonally that health and
wellbeing are, are holistic.
So your physical, mental, andemotional health are all tied
(45:56):
together.
And that, um, working, you know,in this environment and in this
space with how we feel, which isfocused on emotional wellbeing
has really helped my overallhealth.
And the way that I look at myoverall health and as far as
harmony is concerned, what I'veexperienced on my journey,
building, um, building softwarefor emotional wellbeing is that
(46:18):
these emotions are theirinformation and that information
has the opportunity to, um, tochange how you live.
And if you want to live a moreharmonious or balanced life,
then, you know, understandingthe way you feel and what might
be.
What might be causing an emotionfor you, um, spotting those
patterns.
It, it really helps you navigatelife.
(46:38):
And it, it, it, I really dobelieve that that's going to
lead you to more harmonious wayof living.
And then finally with happiness,I would say.
A major driver of happiness forme is that human connection is
the thing that we had closed ourconversation on just a minute
ago and, um, understanding alittle bit more about ourselves
(47:00):
helps us connect moreeffectively with others.
And that's where I end upgetting a lot of happiness is
connecting with friends,connecting with my family, my
spouse.
Cathy (47:09):
So I love how you said that understanding more about
ourselves helps us enhance theconnection with others.
So true.
So true.
That's incredible.
It is when we're on this selfunderstanding journey.
And I think it takes a pivotalchange in life, whatever that
(47:30):
may be.
And maybe you don't even realizeit's the pivot point until
you're all the way through it.
That sparks your interest instarting to understand more
about yourself for you.
It was when you were working attarget and you first read that
book and thought, Hey, I wonderhow I can influence or impact my
team members with some of thesestrategies.
That little spark led to.
(47:52):
This giant self understandingjourney for you,
James (47:55):
a little seed planted long ago.
And
Cathy (47:58):
isn't that amazing.
And because of that, it enrichesall the other people that you
impact all the other people who,um, you come in contact with.
Yes.
That's what our emotional healthdoes when we take care of it,
when we nurture it, when we, um,take the time to honor the
rhythms that we experience,which is what we do.
(48:19):
The rhythms that we experienceare all of our emotions, you
know, on a big level and onthese little micro levels
throughout the day that allinfluences how we show up in
this world.
James (48:32):
Absolutely.
Cathy (48:35):
Thank you for sharing that.
And then the final answer I, orthe final question, I guess,
rather that I have is what's onething you're doing in life right
now to invite more intentioninto your life, whether it's
just using this app or is itsomething different that you're
doing to invite intention?
James (48:52):
So it is something different.
Um, and so there's a, it's, it'sone answer, but there's two
parts to it.
So what I've been doing is asoften as I can to be active
outdoors, and I know it'swinter, the weather, depending
on where you live, it can bechallenging to do.
So we talked a little bit aboutsnowshoeing.
I am an outdoor enthusiast.
(49:14):
I love winter sports.
I'm going to try to go skiing,um, this weekend, but when, you
know, I know that it's notdepending on where people live,
they may not be able to do that.
So something that people coulddo, I would say every day that I
do myself is I try to go out.
For a walk every morning beforeI start my day.
And what I found is it helps meappreciate the things it helps
(49:38):
me just appreciate myself,appreciate everything that I
have.
And it generates some gratitude,um, just for myself and where
I'm at with.
Um, in my life, you know, and tojust get outside and go for a
little walk and, and then I canstart my day.
Um, and I found that that reallyhas, has helped me quite a bit.
Cathy (49:57):
Oh, intentional movement is so critical, so critical.
And at the start of the day, soI want to know this walk that
you go on because I'm a walkertoo, and like, I'm short, I'm
only five foot three and a half.
And that is, that's not, that isnot short.
When you are that tall, fivefoot three, yes, it is.
(50:19):
Anyway, I have one of my bestfriends is like, she's like six,
two or six, three, right?
So we're like weird.
There's a giant difference.
And so when the first time wewalked together.
My husband's like, she'll like,I was a little bit worried
because I'm like, she has suchlong legs.
(50:39):
Am I going to be able to keep upwith her?
And my husband's like, nobodycan keep up with you.
And you're so short.
Like you're just sure enough,she struggled with keeping up
with me.
I am such a fast walker.
I'm just a naturally caffeinatedperson.
So walking fast, like I wouldprefer to run.
And my motto in life used to be,why walk when you can run and
get there faster?
(51:01):
And then the unraveling of Myspeed started to happen only by
intention that I started torealize, whoa, being fast and
going zero to a hundred or goinga hundred miles per hour, a
hundred percent of the time isnot always beneficial.
We need the times in life toslow down and be present and to
(51:25):
check in with ourselves, tounderstand ourselves a bit more.
And I think that's exactly what,how we feel helps us do as well.
So, for what it's worth, even ifyou're a naturally caffeinated
person, you can slow down inlife.
It is possible.
James (51:43):
You can slow down.
Invite intention in.
That's right.
Cathy (51:46):
Exactly.
Exactly.
So I'm wondering what's yourwalking?
Like what's your walking style?
James (51:51):
My walking pace is fast.
Uh, it is, it is, uh, I do, I dolike to try to get my heart rate
up a little bit.
Um, but the thing is when I amwalking in the morning and I
will, I'll keep that pace, but Iwill pause, I'll stop.
And I'll, I'll look at certainthings that capture my
attention.
And that's the intentional part,right?
And I will slow down, whetherit's the way the sun might be
(52:14):
rising, um, because it's in themorning or.
You know, based on the weather,if I'm fortunate enough to be in
a place where there's maybe alittle bit of snow on the
ground, appreciate the snow orif it's springtime, you know,
and you see flowers, I justreally try to, there's, um, I
live, I live in California and Ilive in a town called Redwood
city.
And as I'm walking, there'sthis, just a gigantic, gigantic,
(52:39):
uh, Redwood tree.
That's, um, that's right near,like, not the center of town,
but it's on the walk.
And, and, um, I, I always, itjust gives me pause every time I
see it.
I just am.
I'm always so impressed.
Cathy (52:53):
That sounds beautiful.
You know, my, another one of mycolleagues, um, she's here in
Iowa.
Also, she has a yoga studio inanother small town.
She has some cards that youmight like.
Um, it's called the hike, like aYogi.
Deck, it's a card deck and it'sjust a little, it's a little
card deck and I've been, I wishI had it.
I left it at home today, but,um, it, you just can pull a card
(53:14):
before you go for your hike oryour walk.
And it just reminds you of theselittle mindfulness things that
you can do on your walk.
So for instance, it's so funnybecause everyone that I drew
this week before we weresnowshoeing was all about
breathing and, um, inhaling andexhaling.
And it put a little spin onthose, but there's different
things like, um, notice,noticing the colors around you.
(53:37):
So on your walk, well, on yourwalk, notice.
You know, so it's just tiny waysof inviting the mindfulness in,
but it's fun to do before you goout on your walk, because then
it allows you to remember forthose of us who like to walk
fast, what was the name of the,it's called hike, like a yogi
card deck.
She, okay.
(53:57):
So her I'll, I'll link to it inthis episode too, but I can send
you, um, her information, butit's radiant wellness solutions
is her website.
And from that website, thenyou'll be able to find her hike
like a Yogi.
She is a forest bathing guide aswell.
So she has, is trained in, inall of that.
And she's put this, thisbeautiful little card deck
(54:18):
together that, I don't know.
It's fun.
So if it's something you'reinterested in, check it out.
I don't receive anything fromtelling you about this.
I just think it's a beautifulproduct and a great, a great
thing.
So, um, yeah, that's it.
Radiant Wellness Solutions, hikelike a yogi card deck.
It's fun if you're into walkingand hiking.
And you have a, sounds like youhave a beautiful place to, to go
(54:39):
out and explore nature.
Yeah.
Um, but it's fun to use yearround, even if you are in a
place where there's Lots ofsnow.
Like we are bombarded right now.
We've had so much fun, even whengoing out and snowshoeing,
drawing a card or drawing acouple cards and doing the
practices as we, as we hike oras we walk.
James (55:01):
I'm going to look into this.
Thank you.
It's a great suggestion.
Cathy (55:04):
You're welcome.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Okay, James, you have somethingthat, um, you're willing to give
away to listeners if they, um,if they Download the app and
start using it maybe a littlebit.
So would you like to tell themabout that?
Yes.
Yeah.
Thank you so much for, forgiving me the opportunity.
James (55:23):
So we are looking for people to help support the
mission of how we feel.
Like I mentioned, it's anonprofit.
We would love to see more peopledownload the app and spread the
word about what we're doing.
And so for, uh, for five people,we're looking to kind of be a
mini brand ambassador for us.
Um, if you download the app and,um, And you mentioned, Hey, I
(55:45):
listened to the podcast and soI've downloaded the app.
We will send you a tote and aposter, um, with, somehow we
feel swag that our team has.
Cathy (55:56):
I love it.
James (55:57):
And they can reach us through, uh, the support
channel.
Um, when you download the app,if you go into settings, it
allows you to, to send an emaildirectly to our team.
Cathy (56:05):
And so that's how I first got in contact with you and like
you emailed back right away andit was fantastic.
Um, but I will also link andI'll put, I'll put the email in
the show notes.
So people have it there as well.
You are a nonprofit, so is therea way if people want to donate?
That people can contributemonetarily if they want to.
James (56:24):
Yes.
There is, uh, on the website wehave, people can go to our
donation page.
And of course, yeah, we, wealways appreciate people that
reach out and, and ask if, ifthey can donate.
Cathy (56:36):
I love it.
Ah, thank you so much, James,for taking the time today to sit
down and chat with me and toshare about this beautiful,
beautiful service that isavailable for free to anybody
anywhere Thank you.
James (56:50):
Thank you for having me and I'm really excited to, like
I said, just, just connect withyour, your listeners.
And this has been a really funconversation for me.
And I grew up in the Midwest, soI know that those Midwest
winters are, can be a littlechallenging and lengthy, but,
um, uh, hang in there.
And I'm, I know that this bringsright around the corner.
Cathy (57:10):
It is, you know, we haven't hardly had any snow this
year until the past two weeks.
So.
We're good.
I've got my happy light that Iuse every morning.
I've got my vitamin D and I tryto get outside as much as
possible.
And I hope that my listenersalso, um, are doing those things
as well, because those arethings that I talk about on the
podcast.
Thank you so much for being heretoday, James.
(57:31):
All right.
Thank you, Cathy.
Um, yeah.
Take care.
Thanks.
You can download the, how wefeel app in the apple or Google
play store and start gainingemotional clarity today.
Using a tool like thisabsolutely will deepen yourself,
understanding journey andenhance your health, harmony and
happiness.
Even when life feels heavy.
(57:53):
It doesn't take long to use andit gives space to all those
feelings and emotions that cantend to get stuck inside you and
cause other issues when theyaren't acknowledged.
I'm Cathy Struecker and you'vebeen listening to health,
harmony, and happiness withCathy.
Cheers to cultivating a globalimpact through health, harmony,
and happiness.
If as an adult, you aren't able to identify your
emotions or what you're feelingin any given moment.
It's likely going to be moredifficult to thrive in the full
essence of what health harmonyand happiness could look like
for you.
(01:18):
In this episode, we talk aboutemotional intelligence and what
it means to your health,harmony, and happiness, and how
using a simple app can help youidentify, understand and
articulate your emotions ratherthan ignore them.
Implement strategies to becomeyour best self, even in tough
moments, begin to recognizepatterns or rhythms in how
(01:43):
you're feeling.
And deepen social connectionwith those closest to you while
doing so.
Welcome to episode 96.
I'm your host, Cathy Stricker.
This episode was recorded backin January.
So there's talk and reminder ofwhat winter communicates to us,
but we are now in spring andheading hopefully into warmer
(02:07):
days.
All that being said, this is abeautiful episode.
And it's one, that's very closeto my heart because.
The app that we're talkingabout, which is the, how we
feel.
App is one that has drasticallychanged the way my family and my
husband and I communicate witheach other and has helped us
deepen our connection so much.
(02:28):
That's all I'm going to sayabout it.
I just want you to dive in andenjoy the show.
Hey friends.
Welcome back to the show.
I'm so grateful that you arehere today and that we are back
after a long winter break.
That seems like it kept going onand on with the snow days that
we had at least here in Iowa.
(02:49):
The weather's been kind of crazyaround the country so wherever
you are listening to this.
Cheers to winter.
We're here.
Use it as an opportunity or aninvitation to actually be in
winter.
Maybe that means you are slowingdown a bit.
Maybe that means you arereflecting inward just a bit and
taking the time to, um, To tuneinto your inner guidance to tune
(03:14):
into maybe just being instead ofdoing so much.
So today I'm going to talk alittle bit about, um, feelings
and emotions.
It now tends to be one of myfavorite things to talk about
and to work with clients on.
But let me give you a little bitof the backstory first.
So I have a couple deep feelingkids at home.
(03:37):
And if I'm honest, I was a deepfeeling kid who turned into a
deeply feeling adult and didn'tever really have the tools to
navigate my emotionalintelligence.
Yes, my mom tried, but thestubborn and perfectionist parts
of me probably resisted theguidance that she did give not
to her fault.
It just wasn't the approach thatI now know I needed when she was
(04:00):
trying to work with me on myemotions.
She didn't know that I was adeeply feeling kid.
I didn't know that I was adeeply feeling kid, but every
kid is different and deeplyfeeling kids as Dr.
Becky Kennedy.
Um, you can find her onInstagram.
Her Instagram handle is Dr.
Becky good inside.
She's fantastic when it comes totalking about emotions and
(04:23):
especially Emotions with yourkids.
She says that, um, we need tolearn how to navigate the
feelings of deeply feeling kidsa little bit differently than
other kids.
And I'm telling you that if mymom had known this back in the
eighties and nineties, Iprobably Would be a little bit
different person, but it'sbeautiful because I turned out
(04:46):
exactly how it was supposed to.
And now I get to use thisknowledge and this wisdom and
this information to help clientsand to help people just like you
out there, learn how to navigateyour feelings, maybe as an
adult.
So let me give you a littlebackground of what deeply
feeling kids might look like.
Uh, they might go zero to 60emotionally.
They probably hate talking abouttheir emotions and want to avoid
(05:09):
it at all costs.
But the truth is, if the rightstrategies are in place, they
can actually begin to embracethe range of emotions that they
do experience.
And I feel like that's kind ofhow I have ended up being where
I am today.
Um, but really I've observedthese deeply feeling kid
(05:29):
transformations and changes withmy own four year old and more
importantly, with myself, as Isaid, as an adult who has spent
years trying to understandmyself better and peel back the
layers to get my authentic.
Best self to get to thatauthentic best self underneath a
hardened shell of, um, of justkind of blocking things out or
(05:52):
wanting to seem like the bad assemotions are now one of my
favorite things to talk aboutand to learn about.
And in order to talk aboutemotions and learn about
emotions, you have to be soft,right?
You have to allow for thepeeling back to happen, but
talking about emotions, learningabout your emotions.
(06:12):
doesn't always make them easy.
It doesn't always makeexperiencing the emotions easy.
Learning to experiencefrustration, disappointment and
sadness in life are key toactually thriving as an adult.
Yet so many adults struggle witheven just identifying When
they're experiencing an emotionand what that emotion might be.
(06:33):
But awareness is always thefirst step.
So if as an adult, you aren'table to identify what you're
feeling, it's likely going to bemore difficult to thrive in the
full essence of what health,harmony, and happiness could
look like for you.
Emotions matter, whether theyare uplifting or heavy, we were
(06:53):
made with a whole spectrum ofemotions.
And.
That's how we were meant toactually experience life,
feeling all of those emotionsand all of those feelings and
having this wide variety ofthem.
Yes.
The name of this podcast ishealth, harmony, and happiness
with Cathy, but that doesn'tmean we aren't going to have or
(07:16):
experience the emotions thatbring us down that challenge our
faith or that try every ounce ofwho we are.
If you have kids.
And you have deeply feelingkids, you know what I'm talking
about, because there are manytimes that I want to pull my
hair out because it's reallyhard to get through to these
kids sometimes, but it's inthose heavy, maybe even draining
(07:39):
emotions when we experience.
suffering that we learn tocultivate endurance, which
ultimately produces faith, hope,and gratitude leading to
contentment in life.
And that's what health, harmony,and happiness is all about.
It's the wisdom that we gainupon reflection after the times
when we are experiencingunpleasant feelings that helps
(08:03):
us develop.
Resilience.
So in order to fully embodyhealth, harmony and happiness
and live authentically as ourbest selves, I believe we must
experience the unpleasant, Andbe able to own it, own those
times when we're not feelinggreat and to say yes to them.
We can then use that informationto create the life that we want
(08:26):
to be living.
Yale professor and foundingdirector of the Yale Center for
Emotional Intelligence, MarkBrackett, says that,"Emotional
intelligence gives us theability to read our instinctive
feelings and those of others.
It allows us to understand andlabel emotions as well as
express and regulate them." Hegoes on to say that"the ability
(08:50):
to reach, understand, andrespond to emotions in ourselves
and other people is a crucialfactor in predicting our health,
Happiness and professionalsuccess." And it's because of
this that my guest today, JamesReagan is with us for over a
decade, James has builttechnology products across a
(09:11):
number of industries forconsumers and businesses,
including targets, mobile appand metas, formerly Facebook's
business to business software.
James recently became the firstfull time employee of how we
feel a nonprofit organizationwith an award winning mobile app
on iOS and.
Android, how we feel as ascience backed, emotional
(09:32):
wellbeing product built inpartnership with the Yale center
for emotional intelligence.
And in my experience, and youguys have probably heard me talk
about it on the podcast, becauseI know that I have, and I
usually share the link to it inevery episode, this app is
incredible.
It's absolutely amazing.
Um, to get a little bitvulnerable, my husband and I
(09:55):
started marriage counseling thispast year, and.
One of the things our counselorrecommended to us was finding an
app, and she gave us the name ofsome others, um, that we could,
an app that basically was anemotion wheel, that we could
learn to start identifying ouremotions and share it with each
other.
And, um, one of my clientsactually came upon this app and
(10:18):
shared it with me.
And hands down, it changed theway we do everything.
It changed, um, how wecommunicated.
It actually got us talking aboutour emotions so much more than
just a basic emotions wheelbecause it allowed us the space
to pause and to actuallyconsider what is, what is it
(10:41):
that's making me have thisemotion or this feeling?
And then in the app.
We could even journal about itif we wanted to, um, or share it
with the other person so thatthey could know and also
experience the range of emotionsthat we experience throughout
the day, which, as I just readto you, is one of the
definitions of emotionalintelligence, um, helping
(11:02):
identify those emotions, notonly within yourself, but also
in others.
So James, after that long,lengthy introduction, thank you
so much for waiting patiently.
James (11:13):
Welcome.
Thank you so much.
It was beautiful intro is somuch there.
That was, that was, that waswonderful.
We were just talking too youabout being intentional outside
before, um, before we startedthe podcast.
And I, I love that intro onjust, um, spending some time to,
to just be, and maybe not somuch to just do.
(11:33):
And, uh, that really resonatedwith me and that's, that's my
plan for this weekend is to beoutside a little bit and just
embrace it.
Cathy (11:40):
I love it.
I love it.
You know, that's the message ofwinter.
And that's kind of the, that's alarge part of what I work with
people on is reminding them toalign their rhythms with the
rhythms of life around them, therhythms of the seasons.
Yet we create this culture ofdoing all the time, this culture
of busyness.
(12:01):
It's okay to give yourselfpermission to slow down, to give
yourself permission, to not rushall the time.
It depends on the season of lifethat you're in.
If you have kids with those kidstoo, um, but there are ways to
be intentional about slowingthem down as well.
And.
It frees up space to actuallylisten to those voices inside of
(12:24):
you, to listen to the, um, theheart, the intuition instead of
the outside world.
James (12:33):
I absolutely agree.
And inviting that intention inis a large part of my emotional
well being journey and how I gotinterested in this field and
what really led me to.
To want to be involved with howwe feel.
Um, and thank you for thatintro.
Um, and absolutely.
Um, I realized when I was, uh,in my work career, my
(12:54):
professional career, and youmentioned I worked at target and
I had worked at a meta as well,that, um, I started to becoming
interesting in certain facets ofmy life.
That ultimately led me towanting to explore more about my
own emotional well being, and itstarted at Target.
I became really interested inhow I was making decisions, um,
(13:16):
and, uh, what behaviors and, andinfluences were leading me to
make decisions.
I had read a book calledThinking Fast and Slow by Daniel
Kahneman, and ended up going toa workshop on decision making
that was hosted by ShaneParrish.
He runs a blog called FarnhamStreet.
And it's all about decisionmaking.
(13:36):
And so I just became reallyinterested at how, how is James
making decisions and why is hemaking certain decisions?
Because I had had no previousformal education and, um, and
really decision making or anemotional wellbeing and
intelligence.
Um, and so I started to explorethis and then, and when I joined
Meta, I had the opportunity tojoin a seven to eight week class
(13:59):
on, uh, that was, uh, that washosted by somebody who is a
Search Inside YourselfLeadership Institute
practitioner.
So they had been certified inthis coaching technique called
Search Inside Yourself andSearch Inside Yourself is a
blend of neuroscience.
and leadership and emotionalintelligence.
And that was really when Istarted to connect the dots that
(14:20):
my emotional wellbeing wasleading to certain decision
making, um, outcomes for me.
And, uh, and, and yeah, now I'm,I'm working at how we feel and I
have this opportunity to work onthis emotional wellbeing journal
and I can really finally startto catalog My day and the
emotions I'm feeling throughoutmy day and how that might be
(14:41):
leading me to certain decisionsor outcomes.
And it's been really just anincredible journey for me.
Like you mentioned, Dr.
Mark Brackett, um, he's one of ascientific advisors that's
helping our team.
We've taken this program he hahe has called RULER, and that's
an acronym, it stands forRecognize, Understand, Label,
(15:04):
Express, and Regulate YourEmotions.
Now, RULER has been rolled outto, I want to say, four to five
thousand schools across theworld.
And so, younger generations arefortunately becoming more
introduced to this concept ofemotional well being earlier in
life.
Whereas, um, Our demographic,this was not something that was,
(15:25):
was, was really, um, taught inschools or, or really just
discussed
Cathy (15:29):
from the parent to child level.
Let's stick with the math,science and reading, you know,
like, I mean, there was a littlebit when I was growing up, but
it was very small and not a bigemphasis.
So this program is prettyphenomenal.
Um, I just, I had looked into itmore when I was researching for
this and it's pretty incredible.
James (15:51):
Oh yeah, absolutely.
Um, and I've just really felt adeep connection to the mission
that how we feel has, and it'sbeen, it's been a lot of.
Not only fun, but, um, it'screated a lot of additional
meaning for me to be working intechnology and to be working on
this type of product thatyesterday we had a team meeting
(16:14):
and actually it was Dr.
Mark that said, you can't talkabout, um, you can't talk about
wellbeing without talking abouttechnology nowadays, right?
They're so intertwined and, um,and so, you know, being able to
work on this for me is, isreally important.
Cathy (16:29):
So you didn't come necessarily from the, um, from
the.
Psychology side of things fromthe mental, emotional side of
things.
You came from more a technologybackground,
James (16:41):
right?
Yeah, correct.
Yeah.
I started working on what wasthe interest.
Cathy (16:46):
I know you had said that when you were working at target,
you had this interest in, um,how you were making decisions.
What prompted that?
Like, why, why even, Oh, I I'mjust wondering how I make
decisions.
I mean, that's kind of aninteresting, um, trailhead, I
guess.
James (17:02):
Yeah, yeah.
Thank you for asking that.
So, um, I would say the genesisfor that interest was I was
considering doing a master's inbusiness and I started to seek
out the reading lists from someof the programs that I was
interested in.
And, um, on the reading list,uh, one of the reading lists was
(17:25):
this book.
Um, thinking fast and slow and,uh, and, uh, Daniel Kahneman.
And I, and I believe, um, someof his, the other researchers he
was working with ended upwinning a Nobel prize for their
findings in this book.
But it really was just afascinating, fascinating, um,
uh, look into, into justdecision making and how these
(17:47):
people make decisions.
And, and I would say that, youknow, people will read books,
Often, at least I hope they do.
And that they, they takesomething meaningful away from
the books that they're reading.
And, and usually that's maybenot enough to become deeply
interested in something.
What really for me ended upbeing, um, something that I
really took away from the bookwhere I was like, wow, this is
(18:08):
super fascinating to me.
I took some of the concepts fromthe book and I applied them to
my team to see if there would bean outcome and some of the ways
we were working together.
So one of the things I did is,uh, In the book, there's this
concept of a remote associationtest and a remote association
test.
Um, initially they were createdto, to test people's creativity
(18:33):
and the way that these testswork are, you'll have three
words and you're supposed toguess what the fourth word is
that connects the three words.
So I'll give you an example.
We can do one together.
Um, here's three words.
One is broken on the spot.
Yeah.
Right.
One is, one is broken.
The second word is clear.
And the third word is I.
(18:56):
And then you have to find afourth word?
Fourth word that connects allthree of them.
Cathy (19:01):
Broken.
Clear.
James (19:03):
Eye.
Mm hmm.
And the, so a fourth word inthis case will be glass.
So it's eyeglass, broken glass,clear glass.
Oh, I get it.
Kind of, kind of, kind of, uh,that one's a little bit more
challenging.
Another one would be It's likea,
Cathy (19:16):
um, it's like a, uh, Wheel of Fortune puzzle.
Yeah.
James (19:22):
Yeah.
And like, here's anotherexample.
Square.
Cardboard.
Open.
Box.
Yes.
You got it, right?
So it's like, so, so, okay.
So what happens there is you.
Now you've made thisassociation.
And in this, what I was findingis, and also in the book, it
suggests this, but that when yougo through these tests and you
complete that, I don't want tocall it a puzzle, but when you
(19:45):
complete it, There's somethingthat happens to you that
generates some sort of cognitiveease.
And so I started to bring thesetests into, they're not really
tests, but I was bringing, I wasstarting my meetings with my
teams with these remoteassociation tests.
And it was sort of priming themfor the outcome for the meeting,
which I wanted to be.
(20:05):
For them to be more at ease withone another and for them to be
more creative with one anotherand working better with one
another.
And so I started to bring theseconcepts from this book into my
practice and I was like, wow,this is, this is really
fascinating for me.
And yeah, and so that's reallywhat I took.
I read the book.
(20:25):
I found the informationfascinating.
But then when I started to applyit, I, In my own ways.
And then my, you know, in theindustry I'm in, I was, I was
really kind of blown away andthen it just sort of like pulled
me along this journey about myown self and decision making,
how
Cathy (20:41):
am I being tried?
Isn't it amazing how one bookcan spark interest in something
else and leads us down a rabbittrail to other things.
And it's so beautiful.
So beautiful.
Um, okay.
You also mentioned somethingabout.
working on a journal, correct?
And keeping a journal.
(21:01):
Tell me more about that.
James (21:03):
Yeah.
So at how we feel, um, the appitself.
Is, uh, allows people.
So we have an interpretation ofa mood meter, which is four
quadrants where, uh, the fourquadrants represent the level of
intensity.
Uh, you might be feeling about aspecific emotion and, um, and
(21:25):
also.
Uh, whether that's like apositive or kind of a pleasant
or an unpleasant emotion.
Um, and so these four quadrantsare represented in colors, blue,
red, yellow, green.
Um, and our goal at one of ourgoals at how we feel is to help
people broaden their emotionallexicon.
(21:45):
So to directly find that emotionthey might be feeling so they
can describe it.
And when they describe it, thisis how I feel.
We also will hope thateventually they'll, um, Expound
a little bit more on why theymight be feeling that way and
it's okay if they don't know.
In fact, we have, I've used thejournal in a lot of different
ways.
Some is a little bit moreexploration where I'm saying,
(22:09):
Hey, you know what?
I feel like this morning I toldyou I feel really upbeat and I
think I know one of the reasonsis I get to connect with Cathy's
audience and, and just chat withher about the things that I'm
working on and what ourinterests are.
And, um, and that's one reason.
And another reason, um, Might bebecause, uh, you know, we talked
about this weekend.
I get to go and we'll get to beoutside and just focus on being
(22:30):
present and being in the moment.
And like you mentioned, though,your, your emotions over time
are going to change.
They're like the weather.
And sometimes you might befeeling an emotion or feeling
generally, maybe you're sad forsome reason.
Maybe you don't know why.
And that journal, we're reallytrying to, um, encourage people
to just explore, you know, whatthose reasons might be and, and
(22:51):
why they might be feeling acertain way.
And so the, yeah.
Cathy (22:56):
So the app is considered the journal in essence, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I haven't explored that much,but how, like when, well, I'm
just gonna let you tell me whenyou use it because I will do it
and I'll, um, I'll take notes inthere depending on where I'm at.
And we've talked about thisbefore in the past, like
depending on what I'm doing,depending on how strong the
(23:18):
emotion is.
Um, if it's a time when I'mreally feeling a very strong
sense of an emotion and I needto process it.
I'll either process it on paperin my paper journal, or I'll
just in the app, go ahead andtake notes on it.
And I love that it now promptsyou like what's making you feel
this way, or what is it thatcould be contributing to this?
(23:40):
Because then you can go in andjust do your journaling right
there.
Once you have that informationin that journaling, and I
haven't ever gone back and liketried to look or reflect
reflected on it, but can you goback then and like pull it up
and be I don't know.
I explored the old version morethan I have explored this new
updated version, I guess.
(24:00):
So tell me about that.
James (24:02):
Yeah, absolutely.
And I'm really happy that you'resharing this with me because
then it gives me an opportunityas well to understand your
experience with the, with thejournal and how it's helped or
what could be changed.
We're always looking forfeedback on this, um, by the
way, if any of the listenersended up using the product.
Yes, you can go back and findprevious journal entries.
(24:24):
Uh, the easiest way to do thiswould be After you've checked
in, we call it an emotion checkin.
So you're selecting an emotion.
You can select up to twoemotions at a time.
You check in and sometimes Iwant
Cathy (24:35):
to select five, just so you know, as a deeply feeling
kid, I completely understandfeeling adults sometimes I'm
like, Oh, there's not enough
James (24:45):
team was talking about this yesterday.
And one of, one of our engineersis.
He, he wants to, to enable thattype of capability so that
people can multi select.
Um, but yeah, so you, so youcan, you select this emotion to
identify it and then, um, andthen we prompt the, you know, to
(25:05):
see if there's any more detailyou want to include with the
reason you selected that emotionand you can journal and then it
saves it.
And then if you're on your checkin tab and you scroll down,
you'll see all of your savedjournal entries.
Oh yeah.
And we've really tried to.
And you, and then to read theactual journal entry, you can
tap on it and it will open up.
And we've, we've referred tothis as sending an emotion
(25:28):
postcard to yourself because weallow you to take these photos
as well.
And then when you have thephoto, we overlay the text on
the photo.
We've really tried to invest inmaking it very visually
stimulating and appealing forpeople to want to really put the
care and intention intoDocumenting something for
themselves.
Um, so there, there is, um, thiselement where you can go back
(25:52):
and look, but I will say that itis something that we're actually
really trying to improve, whichis a way for people to really
quickly draw more insights outof their journal entries.
Today, there's.
You know, you as an individualkind of go in and you have to
tap in and look and read thesedifferent entries and our team
starting to discuss in thefuture.
Maybe there's a way that we canprovide a better summary for
(26:14):
people or something else likethat.
I
Cathy (26:16):
mean, with everything that we can do with AI, you
would think that there issomething that's beautiful.
That's amazing.
James (26:25):
Yeah.
That's the hope.
That's the hope, which isproviding people these.
Summaries based on the thingsthey're interested in learning.
So for example, when I'mchecking in and I've changed the
way that I check in over time,sometimes I will check in and
I'll, uh, I'll add a lot ofdetail or I'll try to check it
many times in a day.
And sometimes there'll be theseperiods where I'll go a few days
(26:48):
and not, not checking it all.
And I'll just kind of see whereI'm at and then come back to the
app.
Um, and, and we have this tab,it's called the analyze tab.
It lets you sort of see thesepatterns over time, because the
big part for us is.
It's not only helping you buildthat emotional lexicon, right,
to find the words that describethe way you feel, because Dr.
(27:09):
Mark, his, his, um, program isabout, you know, recognizing,
understanding, labeling.
And once you find that emotion,then you can figure out how to.
How to really regulate, how tochoose a strategy that works for
you.
And so what our team wants to dois we want to help you identify
these patterns for how you'refeeling.
And then we're also, we juststarted to work on this.
(27:31):
We're actually pretty close to,to releasing it.
And the app store soon is.
Introducing more interactivestrategies for people to adopt
if they want to regulate in theapp and you know some of these I
think you're probably alreadyfamiliar with which would be
certain breathing exercises ormove your body exercises where
(27:53):
people are actually physicallydoing something to try to make
themselves feel better.
I, I typically go out and I'llwalk, you know, just try to get
active or go to the gym.
But then we have other cognitivestrategies that we're going to
have in the app, which arereframing, looking at a
circumstance from differentlenses or different times.
And we have some other reallyfun ones in there.
(28:14):
And you, you mentioned in yourintro as well, being the best
version of yourself, one of thecategories, Of our strategies is
called best self.
And we have, we have some reallyfun ones that are going to be in
that category that will, will,um, that are very interactive
for people to kind of, they'reactually kind of creating a
strategy for themself.
(28:35):
And we walk you through thatprocess.
Cathy (28:37):
That's beautiful.
That's beautiful.
I'm super excited about theseupdates.
I'm not kidding.
This app, it's amazing.
It is.
It has literally changed ourlives only because I know that
like my husband, and I thinkthere's a lot of men out there
that are like this, but myhusband was a Marine.
He is in law enforcement.
Like he is basically the epitomeof don't share your emotions.
(29:01):
Don't share your feelings, stuffit down.
Don't, you know, talk about it.
So the process that I've beenable to witness.
With him and myself, um, gettingto actually start to talk about
our feelings and start to talkabout our emotions and the role
that the app has played has beenhuge, huge.
(29:22):
Um, so I tell everybody aboutit.
I tell everybody about it, but Ilove to hear that.
That like you're coming up withthese ways to keep prompting
like, Oh, here's some somaticexercises that you can maybe do.
Um, when you're feeling thisheightened sense of, you know,
anger or anxiety or whatever itmay be, because it's those times
that we have to, like you said,you go out and move your body,
(29:45):
but.
I would say that most people, ifthey are not in tune, they don't
realize that that's like energyin their body that needs to be
shifted or moved.
And the way to do that lots oftimes when it's, when it's one
of those intense feelings is toactually move their body to get
the energy moving and to dosomething.
And it doesn't have to beanything huge.
(30:07):
You know, it can be, um, it canbe just, you know, Certain types
of breath work, or it could beshaking your body and moving
your body for a couple ofminutes to help get that energy
out and moving to have thereminder in the instant.
Because we can become aware ofit.
We can put it in the journal andthen do nothing with it.
(30:29):
Right,
James (30:29):
right.
Cathy (30:30):
Yeah.
Based on working with clients,that is my, that's the biggest
thing that happens is even ifthey identify that, it's like,
well, I don't know what to dowith it now.
So it's learning what to do withit.
I
James (30:43):
really identify with these points.
I mean, the, the one you made aswell about men not being as in
touch, I would say that'ssimilar to my experience.
I have three brothers.
Um, and so I've asked them touse the app as well and to try
it.
And, um, it's been reallyinteresting.
My, one of my brothers has threekids and he said he, He has been
using the app and it's helpedhim and his kids talk a little
(31:04):
bit more about the specificemotion that they might be
feeling given a certaincircumstance and, and then to
have those discussionsafterwards.
Um, and then the, the point youhad on, on these strategies
right now, if you download theapp at this point in time, we
have videos in there.
Uh, in the app, um, that explaindifferent strategies that people
(31:26):
can do.
And what we've seen is thatwhile the videos are a very easy
format to consume, um, Thatit's, it's not something that,
how do I put this?
It's, it's, if you really see,if you check in and you're
really in the red zone, whichwould be something like you're
angry or uncomfortable, it's ahigh energy, unpleasant quadrant
(31:47):
for the mood meter, maybeyou're, you're anxious or you're
scared or, or something watchinga video may not really help as a
strategy for you to, for you to,to take, take that action and
regulate the emotion.
And so that's, that's kind ofwhere we're moving to, which is
more of.
Have have somebody give somebodyan opportunity to actually, um,
(32:10):
Do a breathing exercise right inthe app, right?
Um, instead of, instead ofteaching them about the
breathing exercise, we'll have away that people can set a A set
of repetitions and do thephysiological sigh or box
breathing, um, or other typesof, uh, uh, breathing exercises.
Yeah.
Cathy (32:28):
Yeah, that's beautiful.
That's beautiful.
Um, that's one of the thingsthat my, that I hear most often
from students and clients alsois like, can I just have your
voice?
Can you just, can you just, whenI'm, you know, when I'm in this.
To me, I'm like, well, I have tohave this feeling or this
emotion or when this ishappening.
Can I just have your voice popinto my ear and say whatever it
is I need to say or guide methrough this breathing?
And I'm like, well, yes, likeit's in the process.
(32:50):
I'm working on recording thosemeditations and recording
things, but like, that's thebiggest thing.
So if it's, it's still.
It's in there in the app, youknow, and it just can guide
people through it.
That's beautiful.
Yeah.
James (33:03):
Um, and, and like you mentioned too, I mean, that
energy is in people and, and,and getting up to move and
release that energy can be veryhelpful, but there's a lot, also
a lot of cases, right?
If you're working in an officeor some other place, you may be
a little bit restricted and weknow that those settings can
also be some of the cause orthe, The reason behind those
(33:23):
emotions, right?
Maybe you go into this meetingand it's, you know, it's not a,
it's not a great meeting or it'snot, um, it didn't go the way
you want and you may not havethat opportunity to just kind of
get up and get out, but we'll,we'll have ways that you can
kind of silently also take partin a strategy that could help
you be the, become the bestversion of yourself in that
(33:44):
moment.
And so I'm really lookingforward to this and hopefully it
resonates with, uh, with peoplethat are looking for these types
of strategies.
I love
Cathy (33:53):
it.
So you also mentioned earlier onthat, um, like having a
wellbeing app is kind of crucialto success these days to, to
just to thriving in your bestself, I guess.
Um, there's an app foreverything, right?
But what makes how we feelessential to.
(34:16):
To being in this arsenal of wellbeing apps that people are going
to every day and trying tocreate habits and lifestyle
changes.
James (34:26):
Yeah, this is a great question.
The market is really broad.
I, we've seen really dramaticchanges in the number of mobile
apps.
Um, over the last several years,especially because of of the
pandemic, of course, um, thatreally generated a lot of
interest in, um, emotional wellbeing and mindfulness, um, calm
(34:49):
became really popular.
I know a lot of people use thatas a, uh, as as an app.
Um, head space, talk space aswell.
Even apps that allow you toconnect with care providers.
The unique thing about how wefeel, I would say, um, what I've
seen recently with a lot ofthese apps, by the way, is that
with the feature sets that theyhave, so what you can do in
(35:11):
these apps is.
They're, they're largelybecoming similar in the sense
where you can do a lot of moodtracking and journaling and get
an educational component out ofmany of the apps.
Um, what sets how we feel apartis a few things.
Uh, the first is that we're, wehave a really deep partnership
(35:33):
with the Yale Center forEmotional Intelligence and that
scientific advisory team isreally helping us bring forth
scientific backed practices.
Science back practices.
And the second thing is that weare a nonprofit.
Um, we are not, um, we, we, wedon't charge a fee to use the
(35:54):
app.
There's no subscription fee oranything like that.
That's a big factor for us istrying to bring these practices
and learnings to everybody.
And I would say the third thingthat really sets us apart is.
Our team is really interested inthe craft of building a great
mobile experience.
And I hope that really comesthrough when people try the app.
(36:17):
It's, it's really beautifullydesigned and built, and we've
tried to make it really simple.
And, um, we put a lot of careand effort into trying to bring
a concept that can be sochallenging, like what emotion
am I feeling and making it easyfor people to do.
And, um, and so that would be,those would be the three reasons
(36:38):
I would say that How We feelstrying to stand out and be
unique.
And we're constantly going topush ourselves to build more
novel experiences for people.
Cathy (36:46):
Yeah.
I love it.
Um, and I mean, it, It's simple.
That's the other thing.
It's very, I feel like it's veryintuitive.
So I think that you guys havedefinitely hit the mark with,
with um, ease of use and, andallowing it to be accessible to
anybody.
This just came to me when wewere talking a bit ago is that I
(37:07):
kind of wish there were anoption for multiple profiles.
And it came to me when you weretalking about your brother with
his kids and that my kids, Iwish I could set up a profile
for my kids on my, cause theydon't have devices yet.
So I wish I could set up aprofile for my kids on there
because they like to sometimescheck in or sometimes when
they're having a hard timefiguring out what they're
(37:29):
feeling, then I'll just givethem mine and I'll have them
check in on my.
Because at least my big kids,cause they can at least read the
emotions and then we get to talkabout what they might mean, but
it's super helpful.
And I just think that would bereally cool then to have, Oh,
then I can see my, my family onthere too, or my kids on there.
I can see my husband's as muchas I can, as much as he shares
(37:51):
with me, but like an
James (37:54):
awesome feature.
Yeah.
Having anyway, so it's one, itis one thing we're exploring is
the, um, is, is allowing peopleto create an account.
So today There is no accountbased system.
And so it's.
Cathy (38:09):
Which also makes it super easy, by the way.
Like, you know, that's like, Oh,just get it, download it and get
James (38:15):
started.
You can start using it.
Right.
And, and we're thinking ofbuilding out a way that people
can, um, can create an account.
So that way, if they ever changedevices or if they ever want to
go from an Android to an Applephone, then they can take the
data with them.
But today it's all stored ontheir device.
Um, and that's why that's, wedon't have the multiple
accounts, but again, like it'ssomething that we are.
(38:37):
Um, going to be prioritizing.
Yeah.
Cathy (38:40):
Cool.
Um, kind of like, you know,messenger kids.
Like I can see my kids, all mykids, my kids profiles and
messenger kids, but somethingthat would be easy to click back
and forth between, um, would bea beautiful.
Upgrade at some point.
If I were dreaming, you know,and if I'm like, well, sky's the
(39:00):
limit.
James (39:01):
Yesterday, our team was in a session where all of us
were sharing our dreams andhopes for the app.
So this is right on, this isright at the time to be
Cathy (39:08):
sharing this for us.
Perfect.
Perfect.
We'll pass that along towhomever needs to hear it.
Um, because it is, Beautiful wayto also invite that conversation
with your kids at home.
And like I said, when you havedeeply feeling kids, you just
have to approach thingsdifferently.
And man, it's a learningexperience.
(39:28):
It's definitely a learningexperience.
I want to know also, would youshare with listeners how, how we
feel came about?
I know you've told me this storybefore when we've talked on the
phone, but how did this wholeconcept develop and how did it
come about and why?
James (39:44):
Yeah, great question.
Um, so I, I joined How We Feelin 2023, but at that time, the
organization, which because it'sa nonprofit, had already been
established for several years.
So How We Feel came about.
Initially, it was an app totrack COVID symptoms.
(40:04):
Um, and so the, the app wasgeared around trying to help
identify where there might be,um, people experiencing symptoms
of COVID.
And then the team was workingwith researchers to try to
understand if there was a waythat they could, um, use a
mobile app to, to try to helpthe response, the medical
(40:26):
response in the medicalcommunity understand more about.
COVID is it was, uh, you know, Ithink right at the beginning of
2020 and the pandemic, peoplejust weren't sure what was going
on.
And, um, everybody was lookingfor information and support.
And so the app really, the, the,how we feel project started as a
way to try to support those,those efforts, and they actually
(40:49):
had, uh, findings that werepublished in the nature for
human behavior and how the appwas able to help people that
were self reporting COVIDsymptoms.
Um, yeah.
And it was, yeah, so there's aresearch report out there about
what the app was able to do.
Then at some point, uh, I'm notexactly sure from a timeline
perspective when, but the appshifted to focus more on
(41:12):
emotional well being.
And I really, um, believe thatthat was, it's just an important
pivot for the app as well,because What we also saw at the
pandemic, not only from physicalsymptoms people were
experiencing, but there were alot of other emotional impacts
from the isolation, from thepandemic, from the lockdowns,
(41:35):
right?
We were just talking about the,the, the three days being shut
in due to the winter snow stormand, um, um, but, and that was
nothing compared to like, youknow, the, the weeks or months
that people were, were, youknow, We're essentially not
connecting with other peoplephysically.
They weren't sure whetherthey're able to.
And so the app started to focusmore on those impacts that the
pandemic had on people, whichwas this isolation and
(41:57):
loneliness and how people wereemotionally.
Responding to the events aroundthem.
And now that's become theprimary focus of the app is
it's, it's not pandemic relatedanymore, but it is, it's focused
on helping people understandtheir emotions.
Cathy (42:14):
It's so beautiful.
It's so beautiful.
What a beautiful thing to bebirthed or to come out of such a
strange time and such a, such achallenging time and challenging
time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
Well, James, I don't want tokeep you much longer.
Um, but is there anything elseyou want to say about the app or
(42:35):
about, um, how we feel thatlisteners need to know or could
benefit from?
James (42:42):
I would say the only thing.
That, um, I don't think wediscussed much about so far.
It's just that there is anopportunity for you to connect
with other people through theapp.
Uh, so we have, we have a tab inthe app as well.
That's called friends where youcan add a friend or, um, a
connection.
Um, and you're able to sharethose journal entries if you
(43:04):
want with with your friends.
And so it's the apps gives youan outlet to build social
connection, and that's somethingthat we're also exploring more
deeply, which is, uh, Yeah, thatthere is some evidence to
suggest that as a strategy,we've talked about these
emotional regulation strategies.
One of them is, you know, whenyou need to connect with
(43:26):
somebody, you should reach outand connect and let them know
how you're feeling or.
Cathy (43:29):
Absolutely.
Community and being incommunity, even if it's just the
community of one other person isso therapeutic and so healing.
And We know that we were notmeant to, did we talked about
isolation?
We know that we were not meantto be, um, built in this, this
place where we live inisolation, where we live, um, by
ourselves and depend onourselves.
(43:51):
We were created to be incommunity with others.
And so to be able to invite alittle bit of vulnerability and
share, and I'm so glad youbrought this up because I know I
kind of breeze through like whyit's made an impact in my
husband and my life, but thebiggest part of that is that we
get to share with each otherthroughout the day and we get
(44:13):
these notifications Oh Matt'sfeeling upbeat Matt's feeling
confident Matt's feeling crappyThat's not one of the feelings
but like, you know, then I getto See what my husband is
feeling and experiencing.
And it invites the conversationfor us to be able to say, Hey,
what's going on?
What's going on?
Why are you feeling this?
(44:33):
Or, wow, you must've had areally great day because you
know, I saw that you werefeeling this earlier today.
And when we first started usingthe app, you couldn't share the
journal stuff, but now you canshare more with the person.
And I love it.
I absolutely love it.
I also have one of my clientswho, um, shares her stuff
occasionally with me too.
And it's.
It's super helpful.
(44:55):
So I love that you brought thatup because then it's just a
little nudge to be able tosupport the people in your
James (45:01):
life.
Yep.
You, you said it beautifully.
It's, it invites that, thatopportunity, the intention for
the, for the people to connect.
Yeah.
That's
Cathy (45:11):
awesome.
Okay.
Well, James, I always wrap thepodcast up when I have guests
with two final questions.
And so we're going to, we'regoing to go with those.
So the first one is.
Um, out of all of that we'vetalked about and, and with how
we feel and the journaling andeverything, how does all of this
cultivate greater health,harmony, and happiness in your
(45:32):
life?
James (45:35):
Yeah.
Um, I would, I would say that,uh, I mentioned this before, but
I really do subscribe to thisway of thinking and I believe in
it that you can't talk aboutmental health.
Um, without talking abouttechnology is the, is the first
part and that I, that I seepersonally that health and
wellbeing are, are holistic.
So your physical, mental, andemotional health are all tied
(45:56):
together.
And that, um, working, you know,in this environment and in this
space with how we feel, which isfocused on emotional wellbeing
has really helped my overallhealth.
And the way that I look at myoverall health and as far as
harmony is concerned, what I'veexperienced on my journey,
building, um, building softwarefor emotional wellbeing is that
(46:18):
these emotions are theirinformation and that information
has the opportunity to, um, tochange how you live.
And if you want to live a moreharmonious or balanced life,
then, you know, understandingthe way you feel and what might
be.
What might be causing an emotionfor you, um, spotting those
patterns.
It, it really helps you navigatelife.
(46:38):
And it, it, it, I really dobelieve that that's going to
lead you to more harmonious wayof living.
And then finally with happiness,I would say.
A major driver of happiness forme is that human connection is
the thing that we had closed ourconversation on just a minute
ago and, um, understanding alittle bit more about ourselves
(47:00):
helps us connect moreeffectively with others.
And that's where I end upgetting a lot of happiness is
connecting with friends,connecting with my family, my
spouse.
Cathy (47:09):
So I love how you said that understanding more about
ourselves helps us enhance theconnection with others.
So true.
So true.
That's incredible.
It is when we're on this selfunderstanding journey.
And I think it takes a pivotalchange in life, whatever that
(47:30):
may be.
And maybe you don't even realizeit's the pivot point until
you're all the way through it.
That sparks your interest instarting to understand more
about yourself for you.
It was when you were working attarget and you first read that
book and thought, Hey, I wonderhow I can influence or impact my
team members with some of thesestrategies.
That little spark led to.
(47:52):
This giant self understandingjourney for you,
James (47:55):
a little seed planted long ago.
And
Cathy (47:58):
isn't that amazing.
And because of that, it enrichesall the other people that you
impact all the other people who,um, you come in contact with.
Yes.
That's what our emotional healthdoes when we take care of it,
when we nurture it, when we, um,take the time to honor the
rhythms that we experience,which is what we do.
(48:19):
The rhythms that we experienceare all of our emotions, you
know, on a big level and onthese little micro levels
throughout the day that allinfluences how we show up in
this world.
James (48:32):
Absolutely.
Cathy (48:35):
Thank you for sharing that.
And then the final answer I, orthe final question, I guess,
rather that I have is what's onething you're doing in life right
now to invite more intentioninto your life, whether it's
just using this app or is itsomething different that you're
doing to invite intention?
James (48:52):
So it is something different.
Um, and so there's a, it's, it'sone answer, but there's two
parts to it.
So what I've been doing is asoften as I can to be active
outdoors, and I know it'swinter, the weather, depending
on where you live, it can bechallenging to do.
So we talked a little bit aboutsnowshoeing.
I am an outdoor enthusiast.
(49:14):
I love winter sports.
I'm going to try to go skiing,um, this weekend, but when, you
know, I know that it's notdepending on where people live,
they may not be able to do that.
So something that people coulddo, I would say every day that I
do myself is I try to go out.
For a walk every morning beforeI start my day.
And what I found is it helps meappreciate the things it helps
(49:38):
me just appreciate myself,appreciate everything that I
have.
And it generates some gratitude,um, just for myself and where
I'm at with.
Um, in my life, you know, and tojust get outside and go for a
little walk and, and then I canstart my day.
Um, and I found that that reallyhas, has helped me quite a bit.
Cathy (49:57):
Oh, intentional movement is so critical, so critical.
And at the start of the day, soI want to know this walk that
you go on because I'm a walkertoo, and like, I'm short, I'm
only five foot three and a half.
And that is, that's not, that isnot short.
When you are that tall, fivefoot three, yes, it is.
(50:19):
Anyway, I have one of my bestfriends is like, she's like six,
two or six, three, right?
So we're like weird.
There's a giant difference.
And so when the first time wewalked together.
My husband's like, she'll like,I was a little bit worried
because I'm like, she has suchlong legs.
(50:39):
Am I going to be able to keep upwith her?
And my husband's like, nobodycan keep up with you.
And you're so short.
Like you're just sure enough,she struggled with keeping up
with me.
I am such a fast walker.
I'm just a naturally caffeinatedperson.
So walking fast, like I wouldprefer to run.
And my motto in life used to be,why walk when you can run and
get there faster?
(51:01):
And then the unraveling of Myspeed started to happen only by
intention that I started torealize, whoa, being fast and
going zero to a hundred or goinga hundred miles per hour, a
hundred percent of the time isnot always beneficial.
We need the times in life toslow down and be present and to
(51:25):
check in with ourselves, tounderstand ourselves a bit more.
And I think that's exactly what,how we feel helps us do as well.
So, for what it's worth, even ifyou're a naturally caffeinated
person, you can slow down inlife.
It is possible.
James (51:43):
You can slow down.
Invite intention in.
That's right.
Cathy (51:46):
Exactly.
Exactly.
So I'm wondering what's yourwalking?
Like what's your walking style?
James (51:51):
My walking pace is fast.
Uh, it is, it is, uh, I do, I dolike to try to get my heart rate
up a little bit.
Um, but the thing is when I amwalking in the morning and I
will, I'll keep that pace, but Iwill pause, I'll stop.
And I'll, I'll look at certainthings that capture my
attention.
And that's the intentional part,right?
And I will slow down, whetherit's the way the sun might be
(52:14):
rising, um, because it's in themorning or.
You know, based on the weather,if I'm fortunate enough to be in
a place where there's maybe alittle bit of snow on the
ground, appreciate the snow orif it's springtime, you know,
and you see flowers, I justreally try to, there's, um, I
live, I live in California and Ilive in a town called Redwood
city.
And as I'm walking, there'sthis, just a gigantic, gigantic,
(52:39):
uh, Redwood tree.
That's, um, that's right near,like, not the center of town,
but it's on the walk.
And, and, um, I, I always, itjust gives me pause every time I
see it.
I just am.
I'm always so impressed.
Cathy (52:53):
That sounds beautiful.
You know, my, another one of mycolleagues, um, she's here in
Iowa.
Also, she has a yoga studio inanother small town.
She has some cards that youmight like.
Um, it's called the hike, like aYogi.
Deck, it's a card deck and it'sjust a little, it's a little
card deck and I've been, I wishI had it.
I left it at home today, but,um, it, you just can pull a card
(53:14):
before you go for your hike oryour walk.
And it just reminds you of theselittle mindfulness things that
you can do on your walk.
So for instance, it's so funnybecause everyone that I drew
this week before we weresnowshoeing was all about
breathing and, um, inhaling andexhaling.
And it put a little spin onthose, but there's different
things like, um, notice,noticing the colors around you.
(53:37):
So on your walk, well, on yourwalk, notice.
You know, so it's just tiny waysof inviting the mindfulness in,
but it's fun to do before you goout on your walk, because then
it allows you to remember forthose of us who like to walk
fast, what was the name of the,it's called hike, like a yogi
card deck.
She, okay.
(53:57):
So her I'll, I'll link to it inthis episode too, but I can send
you, um, her information, butit's radiant wellness solutions
is her website.
And from that website, thenyou'll be able to find her hike
like a Yogi.
She is a forest bathing guide aswell.
So she has, is trained in, inall of that.
And she's put this, thisbeautiful little card deck
(54:18):
together that, I don't know.
It's fun.
So if it's something you'reinterested in, check it out.
I don't receive anything fromtelling you about this.
I just think it's a beautifulproduct and a great, a great
thing.
So, um, yeah, that's it.
Radiant Wellness Solutions, hikelike a yogi card deck.
It's fun if you're into walkingand hiking.
And you have a, sounds like youhave a beautiful place to, to go
(54:39):
out and explore nature.
Yeah.
Um, but it's fun to use yearround, even if you are in a
place where there's Lots ofsnow.
Like we are bombarded right now.
We've had so much fun, even whengoing out and snowshoeing,
drawing a card or drawing acouple cards and doing the
practices as we, as we hike oras we walk.
James (55:01):
I'm going to look into this.
Thank you.
It's a great suggestion.
Cathy (55:04):
You're welcome.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Okay, James, you have somethingthat, um, you're willing to give
away to listeners if they, um,if they Download the app and
start using it maybe a littlebit.
So would you like to tell themabout that?
Yes.
Yeah.
Thank you so much for, forgiving me the opportunity.
James (55:23):
So we are looking for people to help support the
mission of how we feel.
Like I mentioned, it's anonprofit.
We would love to see more peopledownload the app and spread the
word about what we're doing.
And so for, uh, for five people,we're looking to kind of be a
mini brand ambassador for us.
Um, if you download the app and,um, And you mentioned, Hey, I
(55:45):
listened to the podcast and soI've downloaded the app.
We will send you a tote and aposter, um, with, somehow we
feel swag that our team has.
Cathy (55:56):
I love it.
James (55:57):
And they can reach us through, uh, the support
channel.
Um, when you download the app,if you go into settings, it
allows you to, to send an emaildirectly to our team.
Cathy (56:05):
And so that's how I first got in contact with you and like
you emailed back right away andit was fantastic.
Um, but I will also link andI'll put, I'll put the email in
the show notes.
So people have it there as well.
You are a nonprofit, so is therea way if people want to donate?
That people can contributemonetarily if they want to.
James (56:24):
Yes.
There is, uh, on the website wehave, people can go to our
donation page.
And of course, yeah, we, wealways appreciate people that
reach out and, and ask if, ifthey can donate.
Cathy (56:36):
I love it.
Ah, thank you so much, James,for taking the time today to sit
down and chat with me and toshare about this beautiful,
beautiful service that isavailable for free to anybody
anywhere Thank you.
James (56:50):
Thank you for having me and I'm really excited to, like
I said, just, just connect withyour, your listeners.
And this has been a really funconversation for me.
And I grew up in the Midwest, soI know that those Midwest
winters are, can be a littlechallenging and lengthy, but,
um, uh, hang in there.
And I'm, I know that this bringsright around the corner.
Cathy (57:10):
It is, you know, we haven't hardly had any snow this
year until the past two weeks.
So.
We're good.
I've got my happy light that Iuse every morning.
I've got my vitamin D and I tryto get outside as much as
possible.
And I hope that my listenersalso, um, are doing those things
as well, because those arethings that I talk about on the
podcast.
Thank you so much for being heretoday, James.
(57:31):
All right.
Thank you, Cathy.
Um, yeah.
Take care.
Thanks.
You can download the, how wefeel app in the apple or Google
play store and start gainingemotional clarity today.
Using a tool like thisabsolutely will deepen yourself,
understanding journey andenhance your health, harmony and
happiness.
Even when life feels heavy.
(57:53):
It doesn't take long to use andit gives space to all those
feelings and emotions that cantend to get stuck inside you and
cause other issues when theyaren't acknowledged.
I'm Cathy Struecker and you'vebeen listening to health,
harmony, and happiness withCathy.
Cheers to cultivating a globalimpact through health, harmony,
and happiness.
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