February 26, 2024 • 28 mins
As I peeled back the layers of my own health struggles, I realized that my story was far from unique. In a world where moms often find themselves juggling more plates than a circus performer, it's no wonder that maintaining a healthy lifestyle feels like a pipe dream. I'm right there in the trenches with you. Join me as I lay bare my journey from the depths of yo-yo dieting and the "hopeless zone" to discovering the sustainable path of the "Hot Mess to Health Success Journey." This isn't just my transformation—it's a roadmap for all of us who've ever felt like health success was a club we couldn't gain entry to.
We're breaking down the essentials: the mindset shift crucial to enduring wellness, the undeniable power of goal setting, and finding joy in the journey rather than just the destination. I'll be your candid guide through the six pivotal phases of health evolution, celebrating the victories and learning from the slips. We'll talk about the ripple effect of our health on our children—how they become our mini-mirrors and why that's motivation to stick with it. So, whether you're sneaking a listen between school drop-offs or while you're on the treadmill, this episode is your invitation to step out of the shadows of frustration and into the light of a lifestyle where health isn't a chore, but a cherished part of who we are.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hey there, welcome to the Hot Mess Mom Health Podcast
.
Do you wish you could find asustainable way to get healthy
and not feel overwhelmed in theprocess?
Do you find yourself up late atnight scouring Pinterest for
meal prep ideas and quickworkouts?
Do you wake up with big,ambitious goals only to feel
stressed out and disappointedwhen you fall back in your old
habits?
Drive through the Chick-fil-Adrive-through for the second
(00:25):
time this week, all while thefresh produce you just bought
goes bad?
I'm Rebecca.
I too am a working mom of twolittles and self-proclaimed hot
mess mom.
All my life I've struggled withtrying to maintain a healthy
weight and feel good in my skin.
I could add yoyo diet or to myresume.
After I packed on 50 pluspounds with two pregnancies, I
(00:45):
decided to change for good.
I wanted to stop obsessingabout food, stay consistent and
set a good, healthy example formy kids, but I kept telling
myself that I didn't have thetime, the energy or
accountability to stay on track,until I changed my mindset and
created one healthy habit at atime.
In this podcast, you will findsimple, actionable steps that
you can create a healthylifestyle and get relief from
(01:07):
the overwhelm.
Spread that dry shampoo, grabyour iced coffee, turn up the
volume and let's get healthy.
Hey there, happy Monday andwelcome back to another episode
of Hot Mess Mom Health.
I hope everyone out there islooking forward to an amazing
week.
We are kicking off Monday here.
We are in March and it's justkind of crazy.
(01:30):
My daughter is about to turnfive years old and just with the
spring and all the crazinessthat's going on in life, it just
seems hard to believe thatwe're in March.
I know I probably say thatevery week, but I just feel like
time is flying.
It's kind of scary.
I guess it's the kind of thingthat happens when you get older
that time just seems to gofaster and faster, which kind of
(01:51):
stinks, but I guess it is whatit is.
Today, on Hot Mess Mom Health,what I wanted to do is something
that I've been working on for awhile behind the scenes.
It's something that's going tobe, I think, a cornerstone to my
brand and Hot Mess Mom Health,to my coaching, to everything
that I do from here on out.
The reason why I've beenworking hard and putting this
(02:13):
together is because, on thisjourney that we are all on, it
is just that it is a journey.
There is not aone-size-fits-all approach.
There is not a finaldestination, if you will.
Health is a constant thing thatwe are all working to try to do
our best to evolve, to try tofigure out what works for us and
(02:33):
our uniqueness, everything thatwe have personally within
ourselves.
Like I say a lot on thispodcast, not everything's going
to work for you.
What's working for Aunt Sallyis not necessarily going to work
for you.
Yes, there are somecommonalities about a health
goal, but I think a lot of timespeople feel lost because they
either don't know why they can'tget past where they are or they
(02:55):
can't get started.
I've been working really hard,like I said, behind the scenes.
I've done interviews with abunch of women.
I've started health coachingsome people.
I've been picking apart allthese things along with
analyzing my own health journeythroughout the course of 20, 30
years and realizing all of mystruggles and things that I'm
still going through.
(03:16):
This is a journey we are alltogether.
I put this together to, in someways, let you know that what
you're feeling, what you'regoing through, is okay, it's
normal and kind of help youfigure out what the action steps
are and what the movements arethat you can make to get out of
wherever you are if you feelstuck there.
I'm hoping that this validatesyour feelings, lets you know
(03:40):
that you're not alone and helpsyou realize that, thank you,
you're only a couple steps awayfrom getting out of where you
are if you feel like you'restuck.
So I call this journey the hotmess to health success journey
and it has six phases and Itried to narrow it down but I
really I just think as womenwe're just more complicated than
(04:01):
men and I know like I've heardother men's journeys and stuff
and all these things and I justI couldn't narrow it down.
So we have six.
Here we are.
And the first one is it sounds alittle depressing, but I'm
calling it the hopeless zone andI have been there.
This is the zone you're at.
If you know your symptoms,you're feeling frustrated that
(04:24):
you're never going to figurethis out.
You are just beating your headagainst the wall.
You can't figure out why youcan't feel better.
You can't figure out why youcan't lose the weight.
You're scared that maybe yourhealth is going to continue to
decline.
Maybe you've just had a not sogreat visit at your doctor and
you know they told you that youneed to start eating better and
working out and you just feellike frightened that you're
never going to be able to figureit out and your health is just
(04:45):
going to keep getting worse.
You feel exhausted all the time.
You have a negative mindsetabout just everything and you
have guilt.
You're filled with tons ofexcuses about why you can't do
things to change and you'reconstantly comparing yourself to
others and feeling that wherethey are is completely
unattainable for you.
(05:06):
The other thing that I think isa big component of this for us
moms is that we start to feellike a failure as a mom, because
if we're not doing the bestthing for ourselves, sometimes
it's maybe we're not as active,maybe we can't do some of the
things with our kids that wewant to do.
You know, when you kind of getthis negative mindset, you feel
like a bad mom.
You start beating yourself upmore and more and you just get
(05:26):
really extremely frustrated.
So I'm calling this thehopeless zone.
So if you are there right now,you're not alone.
I have definitely been there.
A lot of people listening tothis probably either are there
or have been there and what Ikind of put together as action
items or a checklist of ways tokind of get out of that hopeless
(05:46):
zone and move to phase twowould be asking for help from a
support or accountabilitypartner, someone who is
emotionally invested in you so aspouse, a parent, a cousin,
your best friend ask them forhelp, right?
Someone that cares about you,genuinely cares about for you.
(06:08):
And the other things that Ithink you really need to do is
admit to yourself that you havea problem here, like there's a
problem, something's not workingright, and voice it out loud to
your family and to yourchildren.
And I think that part is hard,but I think it's crucial because
I think when we're on a healthjourney and we're really
(06:30):
struggling and we are in thishopeless zone, we really need
our kids to know that you knowmommy's struggling here.
Like I really want to be thebetter mom.
I really want to feel better, Iwant to know that I'm feeling
my body properly and I want tobe more active.
Really, getting vulnerable isscary, but that is when we
become stronger.
(06:51):
That's when we become able topush out of our comfort zones
and really get to where we wantto go.
So I personally think thatincluding your children in this
is one of the most importantthings that we can do as moms,
because they're watching us andknowing that they're rooting for
us, it does help.
It really does.
(07:12):
And another thing is recognizingthat this is a long-term
journey and not a sprint.
So there's been plenty of timesin my life maybe plenty of
times in yours where you'vetried to lose 10 pounds for a
beach vacation or lose someweight to go to your cousin's
wedding in Mexico or whatever.
(07:32):
There's tons of things that wedo that for.
That's a sprint right, likewhen we're really doing this for
the long haul.
We're doing this because we'reinvested in our overall health,
our well-being, we want to setgood examples for our kids.
We have to acknowledge thatthis is a long-term journey that
really never ends Like I am notat the end of my journey.
I'm constantly evolving and Idon't think there's ever an end
(07:56):
date to this.
I don't.
So I think that recognizingthat it's long, long, long, long
and it's not a sprint.
There's no final destination in30 days is a mindset shift that
needs to be done to be movinginto phase two.
Now, phase two I'm calling theawareness zone, and basically
(08:16):
what that means is you have.
You have the acknowledgement.
Right.
You're aware you're desiring toget healthier, you desire to be
better, but you kind of havethis fear of failure that keeps
you from moving forward.
Maybe you have what I'm callingenjoyment FOMO, where you fear
(08:38):
this health journey is going tokeep you from missing out on all
the fun stuff that's going onaround you, whether it's parties
or going out at night ordrinking or being social, things
like that.
You kind of have this FOMOabout that stuff that's keeping
you back.
You want to start, but youdon't know where to start.
Right Mindset to figure thisout.
(08:59):
You kind of start to have thismindset pressure that you're
putting on yourself that youneed to figure this out sooner
or later.
Maybe you're like I'm notgetting any younger anymore.
You know it's getting harder asI age.
You're still comparing yourself, but you start to feel like,
all right.
Maybe you start to look atdifferent people and you're like
, all right, well, I don't needto be like this bikini model
(09:19):
over there, but there's peoplethat have like attainable
figures, attainable health thatI can now get.
So you start realizing thatthere is attainable health out
there.
You know.
You're still at this point,though, where you're feeling
unbalanced and unorganizedbecause you're just in this
frame of mind, like you don'tknow where to start.
You're aware that you want tostart, but you're just kind of
(09:44):
chaotic about how that's goingto happen.
You don't have a plan.
Okay, in order to get out ofphase two, this awareness zone,
and move to phase three, theseare the things that I personally
think need to be accomplished,and that's going to be setting
goals.
Determine your why, and notjust your surface why, but five
(10:08):
levels deep of what your why isContinuously asking yourself why
, why, why?
And really getting to the rootof what your internal why is.
You start findingself-motivation.
You either start reading someself-help books or finding
quotes.
You start finding stuff thatmotivates you.
You are willing to accept thatfailure is a natural part of
(10:30):
this process.
Everything is not going to goas planned.
It's not always going to be aperfect scenario, and the fear
of failure is what makes youstronger, and it's when you
start learning what works foryou and what doesn't.
But you're starting to acceptthe fact that this is part of
the process.
In order to move to the nextphase, you find your health
(10:51):
baseline.
This is something that I thinkis so critical and often missed.
But Going to the doctor,scheduling some blood work,
finding a functional medicinedoctor or a nutritionalist or a
health coach, someone that canhelp guide you through this.
But finding your healthbaseline and not just your
weight.
Go somewhere where you can geta body fat scan done.
Go somewhere that can test yourvisceral fat.
(11:13):
Go somewhere and have full labsdone soup, the nuts, everything
.
Find out where you are.
Don't just assume you know.
Let's not just assume anything.
So, in order to get from thisawareness zone to the next zone,
I really think that you need tohave health baselines
established and, lastly, youneed to be willing to admit that
(11:34):
you need help outside of yourmain circle too.
I think that's a big one aswell.
You need an accountabilitypartner and sometimes although
in the beginning I said I wantyou to confide in those people
that love you that this is ajourney that you really want to
go on, so they will be yourbiggest cheerleaders.
But you do need someone outsideof that circle to hold you
(11:57):
accountable, because how easy isit for me and my husband, for
instance?
He knows my journey that I'm on, but if I tell him that I want
Ben and Jerry's, he's probablygoing to go get it for me, right
?
I need someone that's not goingto let my husband like, tell my
husband not to let me get theBen and Jerry's, or whatever it
is that I'm focusing on at themoment and sometimes I feel like
(12:19):
the ones closest to you yes,they can be your cheerleaders,
but they are not the bestaccountability partners.
So, really searching outside ofyour immediate circle whether
that's a health coach, a doctor,a nurse, a dietitian,
nutritionist, whatever it is andhaving that accountability so
that you can set your plan andyou can execute on it.
(12:40):
Now that brings us to our thirdzone and that is going to be
called execution zone.
When you're here, you have themindset already set let's go,
let's do this.
You are fully committed.
You start seeing the initialweight loss.
You start feeling better.
You start building theconfidence that you can actually
(13:01):
do this this time.
It's not going to be anotherone of those cycles.
You are starting to achievesmall milestone goals.
You're starting to learn how tofeel your body better and
feeling more confident about thechoices that you're making.
You're actively moving yourbody more, whether that's a set
routine, but you're just movingmore.
You're drinking more water andyou're building healthy habits
(13:26):
and you are starting to feellike the choices that you're
making are setting really goodexamples for your kids.
So this is the execution zone.
This is like, yes, let us dothis.
This is where I want everyoneto at least be, but I know what
it's like to be in those othertwo zones.
I do, I'm just going to bethere.
And this is not something thatyou can't go back.
(13:47):
We always can cycle throughthis, which is why health is a
journey, right?
So, in order to get from theexecution zone to the next zone,
I think these are the thingsthat have to be achieved.
So we want to be achieving ourmilestone goals regarding
fueling our body, exerciseroutines, proper sleep, water
(14:08):
intake.
So whatever goals we aresetting for ourselves, we are
hitting them continuously.
We kind of like we've got thatpart down.
We are starting to see a visualdifference in ourselves.
We are actively searching outways to reduce stress.
We understand that ourlimitations are only an excuse,
that we can kind of go outsideof that zone.
(14:29):
Now we're kind of not limitingourselves to what is possible.
And then the next zone.
So the reason why, like I said,I call this a journey is
because the next zone is where alot of people can get to, and
me personally.
I think I'm even here in thisnext zone and I've gone back and
(14:49):
forth and back and forth.
But I think it's important tonote this fourth zone and call
it the plateau zone, becauseit's very common, especially as
women, to kind of hit this zone.
So we were all positive we'removing forward with the
execution zone, we're doing theright things, but we still hit
this plateau right.
So, plot season four Zone fouris the plateau zone, and I think
(15:14):
the symptoms of this how youknow you're here, is you've kind
of slipped back into maybe someold habits, like for me it was
the whipped cream, like whenthat starts entering my life
again, it's a slippery slope.
Your weight loss has nowstalled or is very slow.
You start to catch yourselffalling back into that negative
mindset.
(15:34):
Your journey is now starting tofeel a little bit more like a
burden and a little bit of lessexcitement, is you know, the
excitement is slipping away.
You start feeling like this isanother failure.
You start feeling like this isjust another time of your
journey that you failed at right.
And I think what's reallycritical in this zone and this
(15:55):
is what most of the time happensto us is that there's an
unforeseen hurdle or life changethat causes this plateau.
Right, it's a life happensmoment.
So when things like that happenthat are unforeseen, maybe you
get the flu, or maybe you have asick kid home and you can't
work and you're trying to jugglework in a sick kid, or maybe
(16:16):
you lose a family member, maybeyou're going through a divorce,
maybe you lose your job Allkinds of things happen in our
lives, right, some more seriousthan others, but no matter what
it is, there's just a lifehappens moment, and I think that
is what most of the timehappens.
That gets people stuck in thisplateau area, and I want you to
know you're not alone, right,but we can get out of it.
(16:38):
You can move yourself from thisplateau zone to the next zone
and really get through thismoment of plateau, and this is
what I think needs to happen.
So the checklist, the actionitems for getting out of this
plateau zone and moving on yourhealth journey to the next zone,
would be reintroducing your why, really thinking about this,
(16:58):
digging deep and, if it's, maybeit's changed from when you
started and maybe you're willingto be more vulnerable and break
it down.
Maybe you write your why onyour bathroom mirror, maybe you
put it on a sticky note on yourdesk.
But reintroducing your whybecause, at the core, that is
what's going to keep usmotivated and keep us pushing
through whatever barriers comein our way.
You also have to remindyourself to give yourself grace
(17:21):
when life changes, especiallywhen major life things happen.
There might be a pause in yourjourney and it might be a little
bit of a setback, but thingsare going to happen.
This is life and a life withkids and being married and
working.
Things happen.
Life is crazy and you have tobe willing to give yourself
grace when needed.
You need to be able to reachout to your accountability
(17:43):
partner when you need additionalhelp and be vulnerable about it
, because probably what maybeyou've done in the past is not
reaching out for help and inorder to stay with this and
stick through this, having thataccountability buddy is going to
be so critical.
Refocus on what was working andwhat's changed.
So, in the instance ofreintroducing whipped cream,
(18:05):
like I do, that's what's changed.
Again, it's the whipped cream,you know.
So going back and saying, okay,I owe it to myself to get rid
of the whipped cream.
This time it's definitely nothelping me, it's hurting me,
it's getting me stuck.
That's kind of the only thing Ican see is different.
It's the whipped cream.
Maybe there's something in yourlife that you've let creep back
in.
That's not the healthiest habitand we need to kind of
reevaluate that.
(18:27):
We also need to take a momentand celebrate the growth and
success that you've already had,because we went through these
other zones and we were in theexecution zone.
We started getting that initialweight loss, we started feeling
better.
Let's celebrate that.
Maybe it's taking a spaafternoon and going getting a
massage and a mani pedi and justtaking that moment to
acknowledge where you've come,how far you've come, and being
(18:50):
proud of that.
We never really do that enoughas women, I don't think,
especially as moms.
We always feel guilty about itand Sometimes it's just taking
that moment to say you know what?
I'm not where I want to go, butI'm sure as heck further along
than I was three months ago ornine months ago, whatever it is,
and Taking that moment tocelebrate what you've
accomplished can really justhelp that mindset shift to bust
(19:12):
through wherever plateaus youwere on, and I also think that
tracking when you have a plateaucould be critical.
So it doesn't have to be writingdown everything you eat every
day, but just writing a journal,maybe keeping keeping note of
how many hours a night you'resleeping, how much water you're
drinking, how much stress you'rereally under on a scale from
you know one to ten rate, yourstress on a daily basis, you
(19:35):
know.
And if you do want to focus onnutrition again, if you think
that's where you're kind ofgetting weak again, just writing
down like what you're eatingand kind of identifying the
trigger foods like for me, likeI said, it's whipped cream.
Like when that starts enteringback in it's a slippery slope
and I know it, it's, it's notblind to it, I don't even need
to write it down, I know.
And there might be foods likethat for you too, where you're
like oh, here we go, it's the 20bags of popcorn I ate in the
(19:56):
last two weeks, totally guiltyof that as well sometimes.
So I get it.
But we really have toacknowledge, remember, on a
health journey, it's like reallytaking that step back and
saying, okay, what am I gonna doto bust through this plateau?
So those are the things I thinkwe need to focus on to move to
number five.
So the fifth zone is called thebreakthrough zone, and that's
(20:16):
because we broke through thisplateau, right.
So we now have the mindset oflet's go, like let's go, do this
, let's finish this out, let'scomplete when we started, let's
get to where we're going, let'sgo.
You are consistently losingweight again.
You are starting to now feellike you got this.
You are in control of what ishappening to your body.
(20:37):
You have learned how to makethose healthy choices.
You're not beating yourself upanymore.
If something happens and youdidn't eat according to plan,
you're not beating yourself up.
Things are gonna happen, right.
You are gonna be starving andyou might eat a slice of pizza,
and that was not part of theplan.
That is okay, as long as we'renot beating ourselves up about
it.
You are, you know.
You made the conscious decisionto eat that and you're gonna
(20:59):
move on.
Right.
We're not gonna beat ourselvesup.
We're prepared when thingsdon't go as planned.
Right, maybe we always keepsome healthy snacks in our purse
or in our car or something.
We're prepared.
We are fitting into clothesthat you maybe have not been
able to wear in a very long time.
Other people now start to noticethe new confidence that you
have in yourself.
(21:20):
You really start feeling like agood mom, that you are now
head-setting such good healthyexamples that your kids are
pointing them out.
And I think that is like thepinnacle of all of this.
When your kids acknowledge thatMommy is eating a salad, or
mommy is eating a somethingthat's a healthier choice, or
whatever the verbage is that youwant to use with your kids as
(21:41):
far as making better choices, orMommy's been walking so much, I
want to go on a walk with mommy.
You know things like that.
They notice, they're alwayslooking, they're taking it all
in, and when they startacknowledging how great of a job
you're doing and that maybethey want to do it, that is like
so such a good feeling as a mom.
You know All right, and then Ithink so we're on number five.
(22:05):
Like I said, there are sixzones, so what I think needs to
happen to move to the last zonein this journey doesn't mean
it's the end.
It just means the last zone inthis journey.
You are now staying consistentwith the new lifestyle.
You are continuously remindingyourself that this is the
marathon and not the sprint, soit's not going to be over, but
(22:27):
it's something that you'reworking on all the time.
You are comfortable getting outof your comfort zone and I
think this is a big one.
So you are no longer afraidasking for help.
You are no longer afraidcalling your accountability
partner.
You are maybe challengingyourself to new fitness goals.
You are just like the sky's thelimit.
You are no longer holdingyourself back.
(22:48):
You are achieving milestonesagain regarding nutrition,
exercise, movement, sleep andwater intake.
So all these things are kind ofworking on all cylinders.
And, lastly, what I'm callingnumber six is the healthy
lifestyle success zone.
Now, this is the last step inthe journey.
(23:10):
Like I said, is not where thisends, but these are the kind of
things that you know you want tobe doing, you want to be
feeling.
So, when you get to this lastzone, you, if not, have hit all
the goals that you have foryourself.
You're very close, right andyou're confident that you're
gonna get there.
So, whether it's a clothingsize, certain health markers,
(23:31):
whether it is a weight or a bodyfat percentage, you're like
approaching it or there.
Being healthy feels like alifestyle now and not a chore.
It's not a chore.
This is your new life.
You've committed to this.
This is if someone said to youoh, you do this.
You're like yeah, that's justwhat I do.
You feel energized.
Naturally, you do not want togo back.
(23:53):
You have a burning desire tonever want to go back to that.
You just feel it in your soulthat you never want to go back
to feeling like how you did whenyou started in the hopeless
zone.
You are motivated to do otherthings Challenges outside of
your comfort zone, even morethan you were in the
breakthrough zone.
You're like, determined to like, challenge yourself more.
You are living a very activelife, whatever fun activities
(24:16):
that means for you, whether it'sa fitness routine or just
moving your body more.
You are just a more activeperson.
You are body confident, which,again, is something we all want.
You have food freedom, which isagain critical.
You know how to feel your body.
You know what the things arethat you eat that make you feel
like garbage and you don'treally want to eat them a lot,
(24:37):
and you know how to eat to feelenergized.
You know how to eat to like,get through the day as a busy
mom and feel your body good, andyou now know that you are
setting, without a doubt, a goodexample for your kids and you
feel confident about that one athousand percent, which is again
critical.
So the checklist I guess kind ofhow I'm gonna wrap this up in a
(25:00):
bow To stay in this zone, whichis a continuous zone.
This is not the finaldestination, this is forever
zone.
Basically, you're stayingconsistent, you're open to new
challenges that life brings.
You are always focused onkeeping stress and sleep a top
priority in your life.
You're mindful that everythingthat you're doing is now setting
(25:22):
a positive example for yourchildren.
You've maintained a continuouspositive mindset.
You don't forget that yourhealth and wellness is of utmost
importance and you've created anew life and not a diet, and I
think that that is really thepinnacle of what all of us want.
But I also wanted to know one ofyou guys all to know that are
(25:44):
listening to this that theseother zones, they're real right.
And I do know what it's like tobe hopeless with my journey and
I know what it's like to be ata plateau and I know what it's
like to feel that I'm at thisend part, that it's kind of like
this continuous journey thatnever ends, and I know what it's
like to go backwards.
I've done that I don't know howmany times so in a way, just
(26:07):
validates where you are and whatyou're feeling, and Hopefully
some of these action steps,checklist items can help you get
out of those zones and get towhere you want to go.
Because ultimately, if you'relistening to this, I'm gonna
assume that you genuinely wantto get healthier.
You are focused on your health.
Maybe you don't know where tostart, but I just want to tell
(26:27):
you that it's worth focusing onright.
I have been on this journey, I'mstill on this journey, like
I've said a bunch of times, andit's always worth putting the
time in.
It always is, especiallybecause my little ones are
watching me right and I want toset a good example for them.
I want it to be easier for themto be healthier than it was for
me.
You know I want my kids to growup with certain habits and just
(26:49):
a lifestyle that doesn't feelHard to them like it does for me
sometimes, because you know Ididn't grow up with the perfect
example of health.
You know I didn't see myparents work out.
I didn't.
I had a lot of process food asa kid.
You know I'm a child of the 80s,much like most of you listening
probably are, so Hopefully thisjourney, this hot mess, the
(27:09):
health success journey, can helpLet you know that you're not
alone in this journey and nomatter where you are, whatever
zone you're in, you can get towhere you want, and I hope that
this helps give you theconfidence I'm here for you.
If you need accountability, I'mgonna be offering some Coaching
calls soon, so, please, if Ican be that person for you, I
(27:32):
would be happy to be.
I have been down this road,I've been on this journey, I'm
still in this journey and I hopethat this can give you comfort
to know that this is.
This is a journey that we areall on together as moms.
Right, we all want to put ourhealth first and I hope that
this gives you the validationand how you're feeling, but also
the proof that you're not goingto be stuck there.
(27:54):
You don't have to be stuck, allright.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
Everyone have an amazing week.
Thank you so much for tuning inand listening to this episode
of hot mess mom health.
If you love this episode,please leave me an iTunes review
.
It would mean the world to meand it would help me get the
word out about helping othermoms reclaim their health.
(28:14):
Thank you so much you.
Hey there, welcome to the Hot Mess Mom Health Podcast
.
Do you wish you could find asustainable way to get healthy
and not feel overwhelmed in theprocess?
Do you find yourself up late atnight scouring Pinterest for
meal prep ideas and quickworkouts?
Do you wake up with big,ambitious goals only to feel
stressed out and disappointedwhen you fall back in your old
habits?
Drive through the Chick-fil-Adrive-through for the second
(00:25):
time this week, all while thefresh produce you just bought
goes bad?
I'm Rebecca.
I too am a working mom of twolittles and self-proclaimed hot
mess mom.
All my life I've struggled withtrying to maintain a healthy
weight and feel good in my skin.
I could add yoyo diet or to myresume.
After I packed on 50 pluspounds with two pregnancies, I
(00:45):
decided to change for good.
I wanted to stop obsessingabout food, stay consistent and
set a good, healthy example formy kids, but I kept telling
myself that I didn't have thetime, the energy or
accountability to stay on track,until I changed my mindset and
created one healthy habit at atime.
In this podcast, you will findsimple, actionable steps that
you can create a healthylifestyle and get relief from
(01:07):
the overwhelm.
Spread that dry shampoo, grabyour iced coffee, turn up the
volume and let's get healthy.
Hey there, happy Monday andwelcome back to another episode
of Hot Mess Mom Health.
I hope everyone out there islooking forward to an amazing
week.
We are kicking off Monday here.
We are in March and it's justkind of crazy.
(01:30):
My daughter is about to turnfive years old and just with the
spring and all the crazinessthat's going on in life, it just
seems hard to believe thatwe're in March.
I know I probably say thatevery week, but I just feel like
time is flying.
It's kind of scary.
I guess it's the kind of thingthat happens when you get older
that time just seems to gofaster and faster, which kind of
(01:51):
stinks, but I guess it is whatit is.
Today, on Hot Mess Mom Health,what I wanted to do is something
that I've been working on for awhile behind the scenes.
It's something that's going tobe, I think, a cornerstone to my
brand and Hot Mess Mom Health,to my coaching, to everything
that I do from here on out.
The reason why I've beenworking hard and putting this
(02:13):
together is because, on thisjourney that we are all on, it
is just that it is a journey.
There is not aone-size-fits-all approach.
There is not a finaldestination, if you will.
Health is a constant thing thatwe are all working to try to do
our best to evolve, to try tofigure out what works for us and
(02:33):
our uniqueness, everything thatwe have personally within
ourselves.
Like I say a lot on thispodcast, not everything's going
to work for you.
What's working for Aunt Sallyis not necessarily going to work
for you.
Yes, there are somecommonalities about a health
goal, but I think a lot of timespeople feel lost because they
either don't know why they can'tget past where they are or they
(02:55):
can't get started.
I've been working really hard,like I said, behind the scenes.
I've done interviews with abunch of women.
I've started health coachingsome people.
I've been picking apart allthese things along with
analyzing my own health journeythroughout the course of 20, 30
years and realizing all of mystruggles and things that I'm
still going through.
(03:16):
This is a journey we are alltogether.
I put this together to, in someways, let you know that what
you're feeling, what you'regoing through, is okay, it's
normal and kind of help youfigure out what the action steps
are and what the movements arethat you can make to get out of
wherever you are if you feelstuck there.
I'm hoping that this validatesyour feelings, lets you know
(03:40):
that you're not alone and helpsyou realize that, thank you,
you're only a couple steps awayfrom getting out of where you
are if you feel like you'restuck.
So I call this journey the hotmess to health success journey
and it has six phases and Itried to narrow it down but I
really I just think as womenwe're just more complicated than
(04:01):
men and I know like I've heardother men's journeys and stuff
and all these things and I justI couldn't narrow it down.
So we have six.
Here we are.
And the first one is it sounds alittle depressing, but I'm
calling it the hopeless zone andI have been there.
This is the zone you're at.
If you know your symptoms,you're feeling frustrated that
(04:24):
you're never going to figurethis out.
You are just beating your headagainst the wall.
You can't figure out why youcan't feel better.
You can't figure out why youcan't lose the weight.
You're scared that maybe yourhealth is going to continue to
decline.
Maybe you've just had a not sogreat visit at your doctor and
you know they told you that youneed to start eating better and
working out and you just feellike frightened that you're
never going to be able to figureit out and your health is just
(04:45):
going to keep getting worse.
You feel exhausted all the time.
You have a negative mindsetabout just everything and you
have guilt.
You're filled with tons ofexcuses about why you can't do
things to change and you'reconstantly comparing yourself to
others and feeling that wherethey are is completely
unattainable for you.
(05:06):
The other thing that I think isa big component of this for us
moms is that we start to feellike a failure as a mom, because
if we're not doing the bestthing for ourselves, sometimes
it's maybe we're not as active,maybe we can't do some of the
things with our kids that wewant to do.
You know, when you kind of getthis negative mindset, you feel
like a bad mom.
You start beating yourself upmore and more and you just get
(05:26):
really extremely frustrated.
So I'm calling this thehopeless zone.
So if you are there right now,you're not alone.
I have definitely been there.
A lot of people listening tothis probably either are there
or have been there and what Ikind of put together as action
items or a checklist of ways tokind of get out of that hopeless
(05:46):
zone and move to phase twowould be asking for help from a
support or accountabilitypartner, someone who is
emotionally invested in you so aspouse, a parent, a cousin,
your best friend ask them forhelp, right?
Someone that cares about you,genuinely cares about for you.
(06:08):
And the other things that Ithink you really need to do is
admit to yourself that you havea problem here, like there's a
problem, something's not workingright, and voice it out loud to
your family and to yourchildren.
And I think that part is hard,but I think it's crucial because
I think when we're on a healthjourney and we're really
(06:30):
struggling and we are in thishopeless zone, we really need
our kids to know that you knowmommy's struggling here.
Like I really want to be thebetter mom.
I really want to feel better, Iwant to know that I'm feeling
my body properly and I want tobe more active.
Really, getting vulnerable isscary, but that is when we
become stronger.
(06:51):
That's when we become able topush out of our comfort zones
and really get to where we wantto go.
So I personally think thatincluding your children in this
is one of the most importantthings that we can do as moms,
because they're watching us andknowing that they're rooting for
us, it does help.
It really does.
(07:12):
And another thing is recognizingthat this is a long-term
journey and not a sprint.
So there's been plenty of timesin my life maybe plenty of
times in yours where you'vetried to lose 10 pounds for a
beach vacation or lose someweight to go to your cousin's
wedding in Mexico or whatever.
(07:32):
There's tons of things that wedo that for.
That's a sprint right, likewhen we're really doing this for
the long haul.
We're doing this because we'reinvested in our overall health,
our well-being, we want to setgood examples for our kids.
We have to acknowledge thatthis is a long-term journey that
really never ends Like I am notat the end of my journey.
I'm constantly evolving and Idon't think there's ever an end
(07:56):
date to this.
I don't.
So I think that recognizingthat it's long, long, long, long
and it's not a sprint.
There's no final destination in30 days is a mindset shift that
needs to be done to be movinginto phase two.
Now, phase two I'm calling theawareness zone, and basically
(08:16):
what that means is you have.
You have the acknowledgement.
Right.
You're aware you're desiring toget healthier, you desire to be
better, but you kind of havethis fear of failure that keeps
you from moving forward.
Maybe you have what I'm callingenjoyment FOMO, where you fear
(08:38):
this health journey is going tokeep you from missing out on all
the fun stuff that's going onaround you, whether it's parties
or going out at night ordrinking or being social, things
like that.
You kind of have this FOMOabout that stuff that's keeping
you back.
You want to start, but youdon't know where to start.
Right Mindset to figure thisout.
(08:59):
You kind of start to have thismindset pressure that you're
putting on yourself that youneed to figure this out sooner
or later.
Maybe you're like I'm notgetting any younger anymore.
You know it's getting harder asI age.
You're still comparing yourself, but you start to feel like,
all right.
Maybe you start to look atdifferent people and you're like
, all right, well, I don't needto be like this bikini model
(09:19):
over there, but there's peoplethat have like attainable
figures, attainable health thatI can now get.
So you start realizing thatthere is attainable health out
there.
You know.
You're still at this point,though, where you're feeling
unbalanced and unorganizedbecause you're just in this
frame of mind, like you don'tknow where to start.
You're aware that you want tostart, but you're just kind of
(09:44):
chaotic about how that's goingto happen.
You don't have a plan.
Okay, in order to get out ofphase two, this awareness zone,
and move to phase three, theseare the things that I personally
think need to be accomplished,and that's going to be setting
goals.
Determine your why, and notjust your surface why, but five
(10:08):
levels deep of what your why isContinuously asking yourself why
, why, why?
And really getting to the rootof what your internal why is.
You start findingself-motivation.
You either start reading someself-help books or finding
quotes.
You start finding stuff thatmotivates you.
You are willing to accept thatfailure is a natural part of
(10:30):
this process.
Everything is not going to goas planned.
It's not always going to be aperfect scenario, and the fear
of failure is what makes youstronger, and it's when you
start learning what works foryou and what doesn't.
But you're starting to acceptthe fact that this is part of
the process.
In order to move to the nextphase, you find your health
(10:51):
baseline.
This is something that I thinkis so critical and often missed.
But Going to the doctor,scheduling some blood work,
finding a functional medicinedoctor or a nutritionalist or a
health coach, someone that canhelp guide you through this.
But finding your healthbaseline and not just your
weight.
Go somewhere where you can geta body fat scan done.
Go somewhere that can test yourvisceral fat.
(11:13):
Go somewhere and have full labsdone soup, the nuts, everything
.
Find out where you are.
Don't just assume you know.
Let's not just assume anything.
So, in order to get from thisawareness zone to the next zone,
I really think that you need tohave health baselines
established and, lastly, youneed to be willing to admit that
(11:34):
you need help outside of yourmain circle too.
I think that's a big one aswell.
You need an accountabilitypartner and sometimes although
in the beginning I said I wantyou to confide in those people
that love you that this is ajourney that you really want to
go on, so they will be yourbiggest cheerleaders.
But you do need someone outsideof that circle to hold you
(11:57):
accountable, because how easy isit for me and my husband, for
instance?
He knows my journey that I'm on, but if I tell him that I want
Ben and Jerry's, he's probablygoing to go get it for me, right
?
I need someone that's not goingto let my husband like, tell my
husband not to let me get theBen and Jerry's, or whatever it
is that I'm focusing on at themoment and sometimes I feel like
(12:19):
the ones closest to you yes,they can be your cheerleaders,
but they are not the bestaccountability partners.
So, really searching outside ofyour immediate circle whether
that's a health coach, a doctor,a nurse, a dietitian,
nutritionist, whatever it is andhaving that accountability so
that you can set your plan andyou can execute on it.
(12:40):
Now that brings us to our thirdzone and that is going to be
called execution zone.
When you're here, you have themindset already set let's go,
let's do this.
You are fully committed.
You start seeing the initialweight loss.
You start feeling better.
You start building theconfidence that you can actually
(13:01):
do this this time.
It's not going to be anotherone of those cycles.
You are starting to achievesmall milestone goals.
You're starting to learn how tofeel your body better and
feeling more confident about thechoices that you're making.
You're actively moving yourbody more, whether that's a set
routine, but you're just movingmore.
You're drinking more water andyou're building healthy habits
(13:26):
and you are starting to feellike the choices that you're
making are setting really goodexamples for your kids.
So this is the execution zone.
This is like, yes, let us dothis.
This is where I want everyoneto at least be, but I know what
it's like to be in those othertwo zones.
I do, I'm just going to bethere.
And this is not something thatyou can't go back.
(13:47):
We always can cycle throughthis, which is why health is a
journey, right?
So, in order to get from theexecution zone to the next zone,
I think these are the thingsthat have to be achieved.
So we want to be achieving ourmilestone goals regarding
fueling our body, exerciseroutines, proper sleep, water
(14:08):
intake.
So whatever goals we aresetting for ourselves, we are
hitting them continuously.
We kind of like we've got thatpart down.
We are starting to see a visualdifference in ourselves.
We are actively searching outways to reduce stress.
We understand that ourlimitations are only an excuse,
that we can kind of go outsideof that zone.
(14:29):
Now we're kind of not limitingourselves to what is possible.
And then the next zone.
So the reason why, like I said,I call this a journey is
because the next zone is where alot of people can get to, and
me personally.
I think I'm even here in thisnext zone and I've gone back and
(14:49):
forth and back and forth.
But I think it's important tonote this fourth zone and call
it the plateau zone, becauseit's very common, especially as
women, to kind of hit this zone.
So we were all positive we'removing forward with the
execution zone, we're doing theright things, but we still hit
this plateau right.
So, plot season four Zone fouris the plateau zone, and I think
(15:14):
the symptoms of this how youknow you're here, is you've kind
of slipped back into maybe someold habits, like for me it was
the whipped cream, like whenthat starts entering my life
again, it's a slippery slope.
Your weight loss has nowstalled or is very slow.
You start to catch yourselffalling back into that negative
mindset.
(15:34):
Your journey is now starting tofeel a little bit more like a
burden and a little bit of lessexcitement, is you know, the
excitement is slipping away.
You start feeling like this isanother failure.
You start feeling like this isjust another time of your
journey that you failed at right.
And I think what's reallycritical in this zone and this
(15:55):
is what most of the time happensto us is that there's an
unforeseen hurdle or life changethat causes this plateau.
Right, it's a life happensmoment.
So when things like that happenthat are unforeseen, maybe you
get the flu, or maybe you have asick kid home and you can't
work and you're trying to jugglework in a sick kid, or maybe
(16:16):
you lose a family member, maybeyou're going through a divorce,
maybe you lose your job Allkinds of things happen in our
lives, right, some more seriousthan others, but no matter what
it is, there's just a lifehappens moment, and I think that
is what most of the timehappens.
That gets people stuck in thisplateau area, and I want you to
know you're not alone, right,but we can get out of it.
(16:38):
You can move yourself from thisplateau zone to the next zone
and really get through thismoment of plateau, and this is
what I think needs to happen.
So the checklist, the actionitems for getting out of this
plateau zone and moving on yourhealth journey to the next zone,
would be reintroducing your why, really thinking about this,
(16:58):
digging deep and, if it's, maybeit's changed from when you
started and maybe you're willingto be more vulnerable and break
it down.
Maybe you write your why onyour bathroom mirror, maybe you
put it on a sticky note on yourdesk.
But reintroducing your whybecause, at the core, that is
what's going to keep usmotivated and keep us pushing
through whatever barriers comein our way.
You also have to remindyourself to give yourself grace
(17:21):
when life changes, especiallywhen major life things happen.
There might be a pause in yourjourney and it might be a little
bit of a setback, but thingsare going to happen.
This is life and a life withkids and being married and
working.
Things happen.
Life is crazy and you have tobe willing to give yourself
grace when needed.
You need to be able to reachout to your accountability
(17:43):
partner when you need additionalhelp and be vulnerable about it
, because probably what maybeyou've done in the past is not
reaching out for help and inorder to stay with this and
stick through this, having thataccountability buddy is going to
be so critical.
Refocus on what was working andwhat's changed.
So, in the instance ofreintroducing whipped cream,
(18:05):
like I do, that's what's changed.
Again, it's the whipped cream,you know.
So going back and saying, okay,I owe it to myself to get rid
of the whipped cream.
This time it's definitely nothelping me, it's hurting me,
it's getting me stuck.
That's kind of the only thing Ican see is different.
It's the whipped cream.
Maybe there's something in yourlife that you've let creep back
in.
That's not the healthiest habitand we need to kind of
reevaluate that.
(18:27):
We also need to take a momentand celebrate the growth and
success that you've already had,because we went through these
other zones and we were in theexecution zone.
We started getting that initialweight loss, we started feeling
better.
Let's celebrate that.
Maybe it's taking a spaafternoon and going getting a
massage and a mani pedi and justtaking that moment to
acknowledge where you've come,how far you've come, and being
(18:50):
proud of that.
We never really do that enoughas women, I don't think,
especially as moms.
We always feel guilty about itand Sometimes it's just taking
that moment to say you know what?
I'm not where I want to go, butI'm sure as heck further along
than I was three months ago ornine months ago, whatever it is,
and Taking that moment tocelebrate what you've
accomplished can really justhelp that mindset shift to bust
(19:12):
through wherever plateaus youwere on, and I also think that
tracking when you have a plateaucould be critical.
So it doesn't have to be writingdown everything you eat every
day, but just writing a journal,maybe keeping keeping note of
how many hours a night you'resleeping, how much water you're
drinking, how much stress you'rereally under on a scale from
you know one to ten rate, yourstress on a daily basis, you
(19:35):
know.
And if you do want to focus onnutrition again, if you think
that's where you're kind ofgetting weak again, just writing
down like what you're eatingand kind of identifying the
trigger foods like for me, likeI said, it's whipped cream.
Like when that starts enteringback in it's a slippery slope
and I know it, it's, it's notblind to it, I don't even need
to write it down, I know.
And there might be foods likethat for you too, where you're
like oh, here we go, it's the 20bags of popcorn I ate in the
(19:56):
last two weeks, totally guiltyof that as well sometimes.
So I get it.
But we really have toacknowledge, remember, on a
health journey, it's like reallytaking that step back and
saying, okay, what am I gonna doto bust through this plateau?
So those are the things I thinkwe need to focus on to move to
number five.
So the fifth zone is called thebreakthrough zone, and that's
(20:16):
because we broke through thisplateau, right.
So we now have the mindset oflet's go, like let's go, do this
, let's finish this out, let'scomplete when we started, let's
get to where we're going, let'sgo.
You are consistently losingweight again.
You are starting to now feellike you got this.
You are in control of what ishappening to your body.
(20:37):
You have learned how to makethose healthy choices.
You're not beating yourself upanymore.
If something happens and youdidn't eat according to plan,
you're not beating yourself up.
Things are gonna happen, right.
You are gonna be starving andyou might eat a slice of pizza,
and that was not part of theplan.
That is okay, as long as we'renot beating ourselves up about
it.
You are, you know.
You made the conscious decisionto eat that and you're gonna
(20:59):
move on.
Right.
We're not gonna beat ourselvesup.
We're prepared when thingsdon't go as planned.
Right, maybe we always keepsome healthy snacks in our purse
or in our car or something.
We're prepared.
We are fitting into clothesthat you maybe have not been
able to wear in a very long time.
Other people now start to noticethe new confidence that you
have in yourself.
(21:20):
You really start feeling like agood mom, that you are now
head-setting such good healthyexamples that your kids are
pointing them out.
And I think that is like thepinnacle of all of this.
When your kids acknowledge thatMommy is eating a salad, or
mommy is eating a somethingthat's a healthier choice, or
whatever the verbage is that youwant to use with your kids as
(21:41):
far as making better choices, orMommy's been walking so much, I
want to go on a walk with mommy.
You know things like that.
They notice, they're alwayslooking, they're taking it all
in, and when they startacknowledging how great of a job
you're doing and that maybethey want to do it, that is like
so such a good feeling as a mom.
You know All right, and then Ithink so we're on number five.
(22:05):
Like I said, there are sixzones, so what I think needs to
happen to move to the last zonein this journey doesn't mean
it's the end.
It just means the last zone inthis journey.
You are now staying consistentwith the new lifestyle.
You are continuously remindingyourself that this is the
marathon and not the sprint, soit's not going to be over, but
(22:27):
it's something that you'reworking on all the time.
You are comfortable getting outof your comfort zone and I
think this is a big one.
So you are no longer afraidasking for help.
You are no longer afraidcalling your accountability
partner.
You are maybe challengingyourself to new fitness goals.
You are just like the sky's thelimit.
You are no longer holdingyourself back.
(22:48):
You are achieving milestonesagain regarding nutrition,
exercise, movement, sleep andwater intake.
So all these things are kind ofworking on all cylinders.
And, lastly, what I'm callingnumber six is the healthy
lifestyle success zone.
Now, this is the last step inthe journey.
(23:10):
Like I said, is not where thisends, but these are the kind of
things that you know you want tobe doing, you want to be
feeling.
So, when you get to this lastzone, you, if not, have hit all
the goals that you have foryourself.
You're very close, right andyou're confident that you're
gonna get there.
So, whether it's a clothingsize, certain health markers,
(23:31):
whether it is a weight or a bodyfat percentage, you're like
approaching it or there.
Being healthy feels like alifestyle now and not a chore.
It's not a chore.
This is your new life.
You've committed to this.
This is if someone said to youoh, you do this.
You're like yeah, that's justwhat I do.
You feel energized.
Naturally, you do not want togo back.
(23:53):
You have a burning desire tonever want to go back to that.
You just feel it in your soulthat you never want to go back
to feeling like how you did whenyou started in the hopeless
zone.
You are motivated to do otherthings Challenges outside of
your comfort zone, even morethan you were in the
breakthrough zone.
You're like, determined to like, challenge yourself more.
You are living a very activelife, whatever fun activities
(24:16):
that means for you, whether it'sa fitness routine or just
moving your body more.
You are just a more activeperson.
You are body confident, which,again, is something we all want.
You have food freedom, which isagain critical.
You know how to feel your body.
You know what the things arethat you eat that make you feel
like garbage and you don'treally want to eat them a lot,
(24:37):
and you know how to eat to feelenergized.
You know how to eat to like,get through the day as a busy
mom and feel your body good, andyou now know that you are
setting, without a doubt, a goodexample for your kids and you
feel confident about that one athousand percent, which is again
critical.
So the checklist I guess kind ofhow I'm gonna wrap this up in a
(25:00):
bow To stay in this zone, whichis a continuous zone.
This is not the finaldestination, this is forever
zone.
Basically, you're stayingconsistent, you're open to new
challenges that life brings.
You are always focused onkeeping stress and sleep a top
priority in your life.
You're mindful that everythingthat you're doing is now setting
(25:22):
a positive example for yourchildren.
You've maintained a continuouspositive mindset.
You don't forget that yourhealth and wellness is of utmost
importance and you've created anew life and not a diet, and I
think that that is really thepinnacle of what all of us want.
But I also wanted to know one ofyou guys all to know that are
(25:44):
listening to this that theseother zones, they're real right.
And I do know what it's like tobe hopeless with my journey and
I know what it's like to be ata plateau and I know what it's
like to feel that I'm at thisend part, that it's kind of like
this continuous journey thatnever ends, and I know what it's
like to go backwards.
I've done that I don't know howmany times so in a way, just
(26:07):
validates where you are and whatyou're feeling, and Hopefully
some of these action steps,checklist items can help you get
out of those zones and get towhere you want to go.
Because ultimately, if you'relistening to this, I'm gonna
assume that you genuinely wantto get healthier.
You are focused on your health.
Maybe you don't know where tostart, but I just want to tell
(26:27):
you that it's worth focusing onright.
I have been on this journey, I'mstill on this journey, like
I've said a bunch of times, andit's always worth putting the
time in.
It always is, especiallybecause my little ones are
watching me right and I want toset a good example for them.
I want it to be easier for themto be healthier than it was for
me.
You know I want my kids to growup with certain habits and just
(26:49):
a lifestyle that doesn't feelHard to them like it does for me
sometimes, because you know Ididn't grow up with the perfect
example of health.
You know I didn't see myparents work out.
I didn't.
I had a lot of process food asa kid.
You know I'm a child of the 80s,much like most of you listening
probably are, so Hopefully thisjourney, this hot mess, the
(27:09):
health success journey, can helpLet you know that you're not
alone in this journey and nomatter where you are, whatever
zone you're in, you can get towhere you want, and I hope that
this helps give you theconfidence I'm here for you.
If you need accountability, I'mgonna be offering some Coaching
calls soon, so, please, if Ican be that person for you, I
(27:32):
would be happy to be.
I have been down this road,I've been on this journey, I'm
still in this journey and I hopethat this can give you comfort
to know that this is.
This is a journey that we areall on together as moms.
Right, we all want to put ourhealth first and I hope that
this gives you the validationand how you're feeling, but also
the proof that you're not goingto be stuck there.
(27:54):
You don't have to be stuck, allright.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
Everyone have an amazing week.
Thank you so much for tuning inand listening to this episode
of hot mess mom health.
If you love this episode,please leave me an iTunes review
.
It would mean the world to meand it would help me get the
word out about helping othermoms reclaim their health.
(28:14):
Thank you so much you.
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