November 22, 2024 • 53 mins
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In this episode of Heart Light Sessions, Jenee has a powerful conversation with Emily Baldwin, a skilled practitioner in Somatic Experiencing (SE), about the mind-body connection, trauma healing, and the importance of nervous system regulation. Emily shares her insights on the impact of trauma and anxiety on the body, and the dangers of numbing these experiences with medication. They discuss how anxiety is often a signal from the body that something is out of balance and how working through these emotions, rather than suppressing them, can lead to healing. Emily emphasizes the importance of finding the right support, whether it's through SE, energy work, or other therapeutic practices, to safely release trapped energy and restore equilibrium. Through their conversation, they explore how the body holds onto past trauma and how with the right tools, anyone can reclaim their safety and inner peace. This episode is a reminder that healing takes time, patience, and the right support, and it's possible to turn the tide on anxiety and trauma in order to live a more grounded and authentic life.
About Emily:
Emily Baldwin is a somatic experiencing practitioner (currently in her last half of Advanced Year Training), energy healer, and shamanic transformational facilitator. Her work is centered around helping clients integrate their shadow, embodiment, and releasing stuck energy and trauma from the body.
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CREDITS:
Introduction script: Jessica Tardy
Introduction mix and master: Ed Arnold
Theme Song: "Heart Light" by Jenee Halstead and Dave Brophy
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This podcast is presented solely for entertainment and education purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, psychotherapist, or any other qualified professional. We shall in no event be held liable to any party for any reason arising directly or indirectly for the use or interpretation of the information presented in this audio. Copyright 2024, Heart Light Media, LLC - All rights reserved.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jenee (00:06):
Welcome to the Heartlight Sessions, a podcast about light
working your way through darktimes.
I'm Janae Halstead.
I'm a singer-songwriter,holistic vocal coach, intuitive
guide and plant medicinefacilitator.
I'm also a survivor ofchildhood abuse, autoimmune
issues and my 30s also asurvivor of childhood abuse,
(00:27):
autoimmune issues and my 30s.
I'm on a lifelong healingjourney and, along the way, I
want to share the ideas andteachings that rock my world.
Every week on HeartlightSessions, I call in artists,
healers and thinkers to explorewhat's helped them live and
thrive from a heart-centeredplace, because the heart, it's
where the best things happen.
If you've ever wondered how tounlock your biggest
(00:51):
breakthroughs or how to comeback from that stuff that tried
to kill you, you know the stuffI'm talking about, the stuff
that's supposed to make youstronger.
Or if you've ever wondered howto just do you straight from the
heart, you're in the rightplace.
So join me, won't you?
Let's turn on that heart light.
(01:18):
Hello, hi, I'm so excited tohave Emily Baldwin on the
podcast today.
She is a somatic experiencingpractitioner.
She has a community and aplatform called Pachaccia.
She's a transformationalwellness guide, a little bit of
(01:41):
astrology nerd, a little bit ofwoo-woo, some shamanic practices
it's like the perfect packageof everything that I love and
the type of individuals that Ilike to talk to, and we are just
getting to know each other.
We know each other through likea circle of friends and we're
(02:03):
already kind of nonstop in ourin our flow, so I'm so excited
to have you here.
Thank you so much for being onthe show.
Thank you so much for having me.
It's a real honor to be here.
Yeah, it's very exciting.
Um, I wanted to talk a littlebit about um first.
Just your, uh, your gut, yourpath to healing and really like
(02:27):
what brought you into this world.
I'm always very curious aboutthat um, with people and kind of
where, where you went first,what was your first stop on,
like your journey?
Emily (02:43):
Um, so my body was absolutely shutting down and
that was the start of this wholeprocess.
I was working in corporate at aconsulting firm, one of the big
four and um, of course, if mywork is in healing and I don't
think, I don't know if wementioned somatic experiencing,
but I'm also um, Um but yeah.
(03:06):
So if that's my path, of courseit was a complete mismatch to be
, you know, working with a bunchof consultants and I was there
for four years and I was sostressed out that I know now my
body was shutting down and goingthrough um high cortisol
symptoms.
Yeah.
So, you know, big swollen facewas carrying more weight than I
(03:28):
normally do, my hair wasthinning, I had heart
palpitations, panic attacks twoto three times a week, migraines
two to three times a week and,yeah, just my whole body was
shutting down.
Even my parents were saying youknow, emily, we know that you
have a good, steady job andincome and benefits, but it's
(03:52):
not worth your health journey inthe work started with meeting a
woman on a subway platform andfor anybody who lives in New
York, you know we don't makefriends down there, right?
So I was in, yeah, and I was infull fuck off mode.
(04:14):
Oh, sorry.
Jenee (04:14):
Can we cut on that?
Oh yeah, I love, love me someexplicits, okay, so.
Emily (04:19):
I was in full fuck off mode uh, earbuds, sunglasses on
the subway platform and thiswoman just gets my attention and
she is obviously not from NewYork and I do my civic duty, can
I help you?
And she wants to make sure thatshe's going into the city the
right direction.
(04:39):
So I was like, yeah, you are,where are you getting off?
We were getting off at the samestop.
So I said whenever I get off,you'll get off.
And then I know now that it wasa breadcrumb from the universe,
totally, but all it presentedas was a huh like a little open
(05:02):
curiosity.
So I say that because I have afeeling that someone is going to
be listening to this, and thenext time you feel that
curiosity, follow it.
It has led me to really, reallygood things.
So that led me to this rebirthand renewal retreat in the
foothills of Vermont, and thensomeone there introduced me to
three different guides inshamanic work, and so then I
(05:23):
started along you know thetransformational wellness path
and meditation retreats and fromthere someone that I was
training with knew an SEP and hecame to do a workshop with us,
and I'm always, whenever we doworkshops, I like to be the
guinea pig and I like to kind of.
(05:45):
You know, with this healing workI just jumped in both feet into
the deep end.
Within three months I wastraining to do work.
You know, wow and my husband isalso my co-facilitator he
didn't want to do it.
We were so codependent andenmeshed at the beginning he
didn't want to do it.
We were so codependent andenmeshed at the at the beginning
(06:05):
he didn't want to do it justbecause I was, so he took his
time and kind of waded inthrough the kiddie pool.
But that was not my MO.
Like both feet deep end threemonths in and um, so yeah, with
SEP, I jumped in with thatworkshop, loved it.
My whole body reacted to it.
My whole nervous system wasjust like, yes, this, this
(06:26):
actually works.
And so then I started training.
It was COVID, so a normalthree-year training took four
years.
But I've been in the work forabout eight years now and been
working four and yeah, it's.
It's been a crazy, amazing,incredibly healing ride so far.
(06:50):
And you know, with someapprenticeships they take like
10 years.
So while I feel like I've hadamazing, amazing teachers,
amazing training on multipledifferent platforms, many
different fronts, and I alwaysfeel like I'm continuously
learning and continuouslygrowing.
(07:11):
This is a forever PhD.
You know, give a healing, get ahealing is kind of a is a
really good thing yeah.
You know, I still also considermyself a baby in this.
You know, I'm eight years intomy 10 year, you know
apprenticeship.
Jenee (07:30):
Wow yeah.
So in case anyone doesn't know,SCP is somatic experiencing
practitioner, and that's DrPeter Levine's work.
Emily (07:40):
He I think he started, I want to say in the 60s or 70s,
and drew from all thesedifferent methodologies,
including Stephen Porges'polyvagal theory.
He did a deep dive on thenervous system and it was all
based off of the questionanimals in the wild don't get
PTSD Right, psd right, butanimals in captivity and humans
(08:03):
do, even though animals in thewild have so many more daily
instances of being under mortalthreat so what's the?
disease, and so he understood.
He did this deep dive on thenervous system and then was able
to understand.
Oh, you know, animals in thewild are able to run it off,
(08:25):
they're able to get away fromtheir attacker, they're able to
fight off their attacker, andwhat that does is it releases a
tremendous amount of built upactivation in our bodies, so
they're able to complete thetrauma cycle on a daily basis
shake it off, you know get theactivation out of their bodies,
(08:49):
get the activation out of theirbodies.
But when we're at home and itmay be your parent that is the
stressor, or your sibling, oryou know there may be abuse in
the house or trauma in the house, you can't escape it and so
you're continuously gettingrevved up and getting activated,
which is just how our bodyevolved, you know.
But then you're not able tospend the energy and so it gets
(09:09):
stuck in the tissues of yourbody.
We get, you know, things allthe way up to PTSD and it could
affect our health.
And so his work works directlywith the nervous system to re
and train it into its naturalrhythms.
You know, SEPs are there as theguidepost for sessions to help
(09:30):
the body do what it naturallydoes, which is be in a healing
state, be in a healed state,come back to equilibrium.
And, yeah, his work has been,honestly, one of the most
efficient and quickest ways torelease stuck trauma and
activation from the body and toheal the body that I've been
(09:51):
trained in or that I've, youknow, just discovered along the
way and dabbled in and, you know, gotten curious about, which is
interesting to say that it'sthe quickest and one of the most
quick and efficient becauseyou're working on the body level
, so everything has to slow down.
Yeah, so it's one of those.
The fastest way to get there isto slow down and even with the
(10:13):
slowdown, it's still way moreefficient, in my opinion in my
opinion than a lot of the othermethodologies that that I've
been curious about along the way, methodologies that that I've
been curious about along the way.
Jenee (10:25):
Wow, I'm, I'm curious, like how quickly you saw for
yourself this, this recovery,like after you left corporate.
Emily (10:33):
So, with my personal healing journey, you know, I
always tell people that healingis like this Yep, expansion,
contraction, expansion,contraction.
That is the rhythm of life andhealing on our planet and you
know, it's a heartbeat, it's ourlungs, it's the seasons of the
year.
So, um, you know, and myhealing has been like this.
(10:57):
Yeah, I will say that Iprobably.
It took about three to sixmonths for me to go.
Holy shit, this works and I amin such a better place and like
I could really see thedifference, and I, you know that
used to be, that used to be thecase.
(11:20):
It's not anymore.
Health wise, when I jumped intothe work again, I was having
three to three to five panicattacks a week.
Three to five migraines a week.
My hair was thinning oh um, itwas like the, like a faucet got
shut off when I quit thecorporate and moved into
training work.
So I basically just kind ofstopped having the migraines, or
(11:44):
migraines went from three tofive a week to three to five a
year, and then panic attacks.
I mean I probably have had Idon't know a handful in the last
eight years.
So I mean just that there weresome aspects of it that were
just night and day.
There were some aspects of itthat were just night and day.
Yeah, when I no longer had thatday-to-day all the time drowning
(12:08):
in cortisol and adrenalineenvironment, my body just
naturally came to a more healedstate pretty quickly, yeah.
And then, just with this workand the SE work, yeah, you
really can tell a difference inthis work in about three to six
(12:29):
months.
Now you're also dealing withthings that took patterns,
coping mechanisms, strategies,ways that our bodies contorted
into these unnatural shapes inorder to survive and get through
and react to whatever happened.
And it's really important toknow that.
(12:52):
You know, if it took decades toform and then get reinforced
and reinforced and reinforced,it's not going to be a month's
long process.
I mean it could be, but youreally want to give your body
just as much time and space asit needs.
So, yes, I could see a hugedifference in three to six
(13:16):
months eight years ago, and I'vebeen.
I've been in this process forthe last eight years and I'm
still discovering new layers.
I'm still this and will be forthe rest of my life.
And it took decades to createand reinforce, can sometimes
take years to painstakingly andlovingly and gently and
(13:41):
patiently untangle.
So I think it's also reallyimportant for anyone who's
listening to know like bepatient.
Jenee (13:51):
Absolutely.
Emily (13:52):
Trauma happens too much, too soon, too fast, so healing
needs to happen.
No pressure, yep, all the timein the world with loving
acceptance and just so muchkindness, compassion and
patience.
Jenee (14:08):
Yeah, this is so important.
I think this is a message thatyou know so many people don't
receive and it's like vital tohealing because people give up
(14:30):
up.
It's a long game and I know formyself, like you know, I was on
my path just of initial healing, kind of the big chunk, for 15
years and there was like finally, a moment where I knew I was at
the end of the tunnel.
It was only the end of a tunnel, you know.
The only way out is through,and it doesn't and it's not a
race and it does get better.
(14:50):
I think that's the hardestthing is people.
It gets harder and it getsworse before it gets better.
Definitely true, and that Imean that's where people can
just get stopped and stuck.
Emily (15:05):
You, know, so, that is the contraction part of this
process and one of the things Itry and totally normalize.
And for anyone who's listeninglike, please hear us.
We've been through our ownversions of this and each time I
go back into the contractionyou know it's gnarly, it's not
fun, it's not comfortable.
(15:25):
But, girl, I learned so muchmore in this part than I do in
this we get so much more out ofthe gnarly bits, the dark parts,
the uncomfortable parts.
We learn so much more, we purgeso much more, we integrate so
much more in those contractionsand they are just as much a part
of the healing process as this,you know.
(15:47):
Yeah, and I totally agree withyou about one of the things I
see with clients is again, wecome from this patriarchal.
Everybody's nervous systems arejacked, especially, you know,
coming from New York.
Love um, love New York.
But every time we go back.
I just look around and I'm likeeveryone's system is jacked,
(16:10):
everyone's baseline is up infight flight.
Yeah and um, that is not how weevolved.
You know.
We evolved to have our baselinedown in ventral and and social,
open, curious, you know thatplace where we actually can hear
the messages our body is givingus and those little intuitive
hits and our curiosity can leadus good places because we feel
(16:33):
safe enough to be open andcurious and social.
Um, but I am finding that a lotof people, people with the do
it now fast is better, do likejust go, go, go.
Breakneck pace of our cultureand the, the way that western
(16:56):
medicine has um created apharmaceutical based uh model
where it's if you have this,take a pill for it, and it's one
of those.
You know it's this quick andwe'll just change this and we'll
fix you.
And you know it's absolutelythe opposite of that it's.
(17:16):
You're perfect as you are.
You don't need fixing it's.
Yeah, we're working on stuff,we're all working on stuff.
We're going to be working onstuff for the rest of our lives
and slow and steady wins therace.
We want to be the tortoise hereBecause our bodies honestly our
bodies could not handle therate of change that our minds
(17:41):
want to go.
If my clients so many clientswill come in and they'll be
dealing with a particular thingand they'll have this idea of
like when they want this doneand I have to explain to them.
It's just not how healing worksand, truthfully, if you went as
quickly as you want to, yourbody would break down.
(18:04):
Yeah, physically, the cells inyour body, the molecules that
hold you together, could nothandle the rate of change that
your mind thinks is appropriate,yeah, and so it's really
important if you're on thishealing path, if you're starting
this healing path tortoise, notthe hare, and one step at a
(18:29):
time, and it's not linear.
It's this, so it is not.
Oh, we just keep getting betterand better and better.
Jenee (18:41):
No, no, no, like, sometimes there's the
contraction after the bigexpansion and that's just as
much a part of it.
Yeah, it's to me.
The big expansion and that'sjust as much a part of it.
Yeah, it's to me, like I'm sopassionate about.
Emily (18:51):
I'm always like the hill, the hill that I will die on.
Jenee (18:54):
Is um being a representative for the body?
Yes, because the body is, Ithink, deeply embedded into
Pachamama and into the feminine,you know, into the feminine
aspect on our planet, thatpolarity, and it's the
(19:15):
subconscious language, and welive in a world that is, you
know, wants to dominate andcontrol and know when things are
going to be done and give me atimeline, blah, blah, blah blah.
And unfortunately, as youexperienced in, you know,
working in your corporate job islike you have to bring the body
(19:38):
with you.
Emily (19:53):
You have to start to understand and learn this
language if you really want tohave a quality life.
My work lately has been aroundthis, you know, coming from old
model, uh, patriarchy, hierarchytop down, um, rushing things
past.
You know, going from the mind,mind, mind, all all masculine,
(20:16):
um, the body, I feel is that,yeah, that more feminine,
connected to mother earth.
We need to be loving andrespecting our, our mother, more
than we are.
She is very sick right now.
And the way that we approach ourown healing, the parts of us
that come up that we had toabandon along the way in order
(20:36):
to be connected with our familymembers, our caregivers, our
cultures, our peer groups, it'snot about getting rid of
anything and it's not aboutdominating anything and power
over that is the old model.
The way to healing is how canwe bring all parts into the
whole, how can we take care ofthe whole, how can we be more
(21:00):
whole?
And that includes our light andour darkness, the things that
we like about ourselves and thethings that we don't.
You know the things that are inour, the light of our awareness
and then the shadow of oursubconscious, which is most of
us.
You know, 99% of us, yeah, and.
And I think, collectively,we're all at different parts of
(21:22):
this path and this lesson.
We're all at different parts ofthis path and this lesson, but
it is so important for us,collectively and individually,
to start to really unlearn that.
All right, come on, dominator,like you have to go at my pace,
or the mind is telling the bodyyou have to heal at my pace, um
(21:43):
and?
Or disregarding the feminine,disrespecting the feminine,
disrespecting the body.
How many people do we know thatare just like, oh, I'll sleep
when I'm dead.
Yeah, that's crazy.
How many of us and this issomething I used to do in
corporate just body urges likehaving to go to the bathroom,
(22:03):
and I'd be like, oh, but I haveone more email and I got to do
this and that, and then you'dlike kind of wake up out of your
disassociated state five hourslater and you never went to the
bathroom.
How often do we do thatdisregarding, you know, big and
small, these parts of uh and andfunctions of our body?
And this is where it all is.
(22:24):
Trauma lives here, the reasonwhy we are finding that solely
mind-based therapies likepsychotherapy and I say this
knowing a couple of really greattherapists out there that bring
a body and do really beautifulwork.
But the vast majority of youknow psychotherapy and
(22:47):
psychiatry kind of cuts you offat the neck and treats you from
here up.
But trauma is a body thing andso we're.
we're seeing the limitations oftrying to treat a body thing
through the mind.
So, yeah, you know, I thinkthis healing process is a lot of
unlearning things that we havelearned in our families and our
(23:09):
cultures and this dominatormodel.
It's just getting unlearned anddismantled right now and, thank
God, it's making us sick.
Jenee (23:16):
Totally.
Yeah.
It's very interesting too,because you know when you're in
therapy and you're rehashingyour traumas with your therapist
, your body actually doesn'tknow the difference between the
time that it happened and whatyou're retelling.
So you're re-traumatizingyourself every single time that
(23:39):
you rehash that story.
Emily (23:42):
I'm so glad that you brought that up.
It's something I've beennoticing in my sessions,
especially lately.
So one of the journeys that wehave to bring clients along is
that it's be patient with yourbody and it's going to take
longer than you want it to.
So another thing that I'mnoticing all right, really
(24:05):
important for all of yourclients to know that there is
kind of this magnetization, thispull to the trauma.
Whatever the trauma is, itmight be an event.
It also could be little ttrauma of just not being seen,
not being heard.
You know, both of those holesin the trauma landscape have a
(24:30):
magnetization.
In SE we call it the traumavortex and there's a pole to the
center of the vortex.
So many of my clients want tocome in and they want to talk
about it.
And there's this urgency of Ihave to tell you, I have to tell
you and part of my job isactually to hit the pause button
First off, your body is tellingme the story.
(24:52):
Second, if I let you just gooff into the story, truthfully,
you're just going to jump rightinto the middle of the trauma
vortex, disassociate.
We're going to spend the entirerest of the session, possibly
the next week, getting you backout of freeze.
Yes, yes, and so really it'sfunny because I've had a couple
(25:16):
of sessions with clients where,like they don't take to SE or
they feel like it's you know,they want to talk about it and
and I absolutely get that,sometimes we need our story to
be heard and there is a part ofthat and there's a way to
titrate it and an SEpractitioner is there to help
(25:38):
kind of put the pauses in.
Literally we ask yourpermission to interrupt for this
reason.
But it's so that we don't gozero to 60 on the runaway trauma
train and just go up intodisassociation.
But people have and it's anatural.
This is how our bodies arewired.
Trauma has a pull to it Foranyone listening.
(26:00):
It's not always healing to justtell the story full stop and to
let your body go with thatrunaway train and that pull
towards the story full stop, andto let your body go with that
runaway train and that pulltowards the story and talking
about it.
Talking about it, like you said, absolutely can re-traumatize
you and if you take pauses,again trauma happens too much,
(26:23):
too soon, too fast.
So if you take pauses and oh,we're going to pause here and
let's just deal with whateveractivation the body has.
You know, in telling of thestory, like you said, the body
has no idea.
We go back into a body state.
We revert back to that bodymemory of whatever was happening
at the time and can we pauseand can we just be with this and
(26:45):
can we just take a little babybite and sit with the discomfort
and the activation enough andmap it out in the body in a safe
way and maybe be with the edgesof it instead of the whole
thing until you get a release,the tingles, the heat, the sweat
, the yawn the body wants topurge a lot of different ways
(27:09):
and can we be with it and justtake little baby bites out over
time.
So instead of saying it in twominutes, you might take two or
three sessions on it maybe more.
But by the time you're done withit, instead of re-traumatizing
yourself, you will have actuallymetabolized the stuck energy in
(27:30):
your body and you'll actuallynot be looping on the trauma in
your body anymore.
Yes, so I'm so glad you broughtthat up, because it's something
I've noticed in client sessionsand I think that it's really
important for anyone goingthrough their healing journey to
understand.
Jenee (27:47):
Yeah, and I think there's what happens is there's this
over time, I know, for me, whenI started to heal from my own
trauma, you know, and was justliving in the neck up, you know,
like we do and disassociatingleft and right, you know when,
yeah, when I started to and Ialso went on, you know,
(28:08):
antidepressant, went on anantidepressant that for my
anxiety attacks, so you know,and was like very quickly, was
like, oh my God, I don't want tobe on this thing, you know,
because I did actually likefeeling, even though they were
in these extremes, you know, Idid like feeling.
So I went off and I had abacklog of anxiety.
(28:30):
So the thing that I went on toto, you know, make it go away.
I had now way worse tidal wavesof anxiety.
Yes, and you know somethinginside of me knew this time that
like, okay, I'm going to haveto dive into the waves, I'm
going to have to find a way todeal with this overwhelm.
(28:51):
And you've talked a little bit.
I saw one of your Instagramposts on anxiety and I thought
it was really powerful and maybewe can talk a little bit about
that, because I thought the youknow the connection there was
like, oh, this is it.
But you know like, oh, this isthis, is it.
(29:12):
But, um, you know, when you'reinitially kind of de-thawing or
working, you know within thebody, that's when it's like
again can feel so uncomfortableand extreme, you know, but it's,
it's, it's all about feeling,it's going into the feeling,
into the body and moving it.
Emily (29:29):
I'm sitting here, I have these moments where I'm like be
cool, baldwin, be cool becauseI'm just so excited and I love
talking about this.
And okay, anxiety is a naturalbyproduct of living in our
culture, the way that it is setup right now.
So I want to normalize all ofyour listeners that are battling
(29:51):
and dancing with anxiety.
Our culture is backwards.
It's sick.
It's not based off of whatbeing an actual human, of being
whole with all of our parts andall of our emotions.
We are taught some backwardsthings that create tension and
(30:13):
stuck flight.
It's usually flight.
There's some fight or two, butstuck flight in the body.
So I want to normalize it first.
Okay, quick thing on meds.
Okay, quick thing on meds.
(30:36):
One around depression andchemical imbalance straight up
chemical imbalance.
Honestly, there are a couple ofclients that I've worked with
or people that I know thatactually have the actual
chemical imbalance and theyabsolutely need those meds.
Their life is better with thosemeds.
Um, it's absolutely the right,you know course of treatment.
(30:57):
The vast majority.
I don't think it's the rightthing for them.
And here's why, with the SSRIs,especially if you're talking
about, like the anti-anxietymeds, what they do is they cut
you off from the messages thatare happening in your body.
(31:18):
Your body, your nervous system,has evolved for thousands and
thousands of years to give youmessages of danger and safety.
Anxiety is basically when we'restuck with the gear in danger,
on overdrive all the time.
Trauma is a body thing, so it'susually, you know, a set of
(31:43):
things that happened, that weweren't able to then complete
the trauma cycle Like we talkedabout with animals.
That happened, that we weren'table to then complete the trauma
cycle like we talked about withanimals.
Same thing with humans.
We can't run it off because wehave to go to our room instead
of being able to run it off andrun away from a lion and the
african savannah.
So over time, that gets stuckin the tissues of our bodies.
(32:07):
What an anti-anxiety med doesis it numbs you, it cuts you off
from the message that your bodyis screaming at you, saying
danger, danger, danger.
When we don't feel something,it gets stuck in the tissues of
(32:28):
our bodies.
The way to release somethingfrom the tissue of your body,
release the energy of it,release the activation of it,
the trauma is kind of how wecontort ourselves into shapes
that are unnatural afterwards.
Trauma is not the event, it'show we, uh, it's how we react to
(32:49):
the event, the stories that wemake true of it.
Yes, um, so with anxiety meds,honestly, the worst withdrawal
process that I have everwitnessed a friend or client
colleague anyone go through wasa woman with severe anxiety who
(33:11):
had been on benzos for about 20years whoa, and it took her pain
stakingly.
I mean, we're talking likeshaving parts of a pill off.
Yeah, little by little,titrating down for two fucking
years.
Wow, wow.
Ever since I witnessed that, Ialways encourage people.
(33:34):
You know work with an SEP, dothe harder.
You know longer work, slower,slower work of really like in a
guided way, like, get yourselfsomebody who is trained and
educated on how to help youprocess this, rather than going
(33:55):
the easy route, that patriarchalquick, you know faster is
better, more is better, you know, backwards messaging that we
get in our culture.
Go the slower route, yeah,because what you're doing is
you're just trapping the anxietyin your body, which is what you
experienced, yep.
And so, getting off of those,what you're going to do is, as
(34:17):
soon as you bring the, as soonas you titrate the anti-anxiety
med down, all of that stuff thatyou didn't want to feel, the
panic attacks, the anxietyattacks, the you know just
generalized anxiety, the notbeing able to sleep, the stress
that what that does is it takesthe lid off of it, so then it
can come out.
Jenee (34:37):
Yeah.
Emily (34:37):
So, if you are going through this process, know that
you're not going crazy, and itdoesn't mean that you should go
back on the benzos and youshould up your dose.
It means that you should go toa practitioner that you trust,
that is trained, properlytrained on how to work with this
and over time you can purge allof this.
The only way out is through theway that our bodies purge is by
(35:02):
feeling it and remember that itgoes out the way it came in.
So if it came in as anxiety,you're going to sit there on a
random Monday afternoon and it'sgoing to come out and there's
no stressor that happened, nostimulus, that happened.
And you don't know why youthink you're going crazy because
you're just all of a suddenpanicky.
It's not that you're goingcrazy, baby.
(35:24):
It's because two years ago youhad a panic attack that you
numbed yeah.
It's because two years ago youhad a panic attack that you
numbed yeah, and that the energyof that literally gets stuck in
the muscles and the fascia andthe nerves in our bodies and so
it's going to come out the wayit came in anxiety.
It's interesting.
It's interesting the more I gointo it and I'm a big Gabor Mate
(35:47):
fan.
Yeah.
So Gabor Mate for those of yourlisteners who don't know is a
brilliant doctor that is in thiswork and has written books on
everything from addiction that Ireally I believe in his model
rather than you know the AAmodel, and I totally honor the
(36:08):
AA model and how many people ithelps.
He's written books on ADD and,oh my God, as somebody who was
diagnosed as ADHDnon-hyperactive type in eighth
grade, totally agree with him.
He wrote a book called when thebody says no, and it is this
(36:28):
brilliant way of looking at thebody that I I mean in in our um,
transformational wellness work.
If you're training in it andour lineage and our little
subsects of the lineage with ourteacher, that was one of the
first three books that that youread when you're training.
That was one of the first threebooks that you read when you're
training.
And he has a whole chapter onthe HPA axis your hypothalamus,
(36:54):
to your pituitary, to youradrenals, little big beanie caps
on the tops of your kidneys.
Your adrenals are the thingsthat release adrenaline and
cortisol.
So we evolved to releaseadrenaline and cortisol.
(37:14):
So we evolved to releaseadrenaline and cortisol.
And it's when it gets stuck inthe on position and we're kind
of drowning in cortisol all thetime that it literally can
create health issues.
Our body was not meant to bestuck in on all the time, so
we're going to pause for all thelisteners that might be
activated by talking about this,and remind everybody that your
(37:39):
body is a self-healing machine,wants to be in equilibrium, it
wants to be in a healed state,and I know plenty of people
personally and I have heard ofmany stories about people
finding healing by unlearning.
These emotional and behavioralthings that you know led to the
(38:02):
disease in the first place, sowanted to plant that seed
dis-ease in the first place, sowanted to plant that seed.
We take anxiety as just thisnormal thing in our culture, but
it's not.
It is the body telling yousomething's up.
It's the body telling youthere's danger Now it doesn't
(38:24):
necessarily have to be dangerfrom your life right now.
You could have a wonderfulfamily life and a job that you
love, and this and that, butthere's enough.
That's similar energetically towhen the anxiety first got in
your body when you were a kid,probably, yeah, or maybe there's
a car accident that your bodyhasn't fully metabolized.
You weren't able to completethe trauma cycle around it.
So that's why you want to workwith a practitioner who can help
(38:48):
you release the energy and theactivation from your tissues,
and it's really importantbecause you know it can lead to
a number of.
You know we have incidences ofcancer, autoimmune diseases
(39:08):
skyrocketing right now and a lotof that comes from being stuck
in the on-flight position, andso it's part of the reason why
I'm passionate about this andwhy it's important to not
normalize it away and to notaddress it, because, you know,
(39:29):
it does affect your health.
Now, again, just saying to allof the people with super
powerful minds it is absolutelypossible to work with this and
to reclaim that relationshipwith your body and to help your
body get into its equilibriumand into its natural rhythms and
(39:52):
to feel safe in your body again.
And yeah, I've seen so manypeople you know cure their own
anxiety and depression.
I would say that I still havesome anxious, you know.
Again, my healing process hasbeen this, and sometimes, in the
(40:14):
contraction, I will go back tothat anxious place, but I used
to live there, right, these arenow like little visits, exactly,
and they're short visits.
Yeah, and I'm so much moreresourced Each time I go back to
those uncomfortable places I'vegot myself.
I have mapped out my body.
I'm so much more in my body,I'm so much more connected to my
(40:37):
body.
When we go into body work, youknow you've your listeners
might've heard that we are justas infinite inside as we go in,
as the universe is outside and Iused to think that was total
bullshit, but, honestly, in thelast eight years, oh my God, it
is absolutely true.
I am completely an infiniteuniverse inside and each and
(41:01):
every person is as well.
And so if we were astronauts onthe International Space Station,
and you know, doing trauma workor going into a meditation
retreat or you know any SE workanytime you're doing the inner
work it's like going on aspacewalk, yeah, on the space
station.
So what we do is we get atether and any astronaut is
(41:27):
going to have probably multipletethers to the international
space station.
If they're out in space workingon something on this, on the
station, they're going to have asuit that is containment to
keep them safe and to keep them,um, you know, give, give them
the necessary things for life,oxygen being one of them.
(41:47):
And so you want someone who'strained and can help.
You have those tethers, theresources, the orienting, the
titration, the containment ofthe SE session, so that we're
not George Clooney and gravityjust floating away, yeah, yeah,
(42:10):
um.
And so, and you know there arepractitioners that are skilled
at going out and finding you.
If you were ever the GeorgeClooney and you're out, lost in
space they can go and find youand bring you back.
Yeah, and so, um, so yeah, likeyou know, just encouraging any
listeners to know that first,you're not alone.
(42:31):
It is a natural thing to umhave anxiety and reaction to our
backwards ass culture and, um,and it's worth, it's worth the
the step-by-step, slow healingprocess.
Um, I think you know it's.
(42:51):
I'm so glad that you mentionedit cause I I just think it's so
important and it's so ubiquitous.
You know, we just consider, wejust consider anxiety to be a
normal part of our society but,um, normalizing it doesn't mean
that it's good for our healthpart of our society, but
normalizing it doesn't mean thatit's good for our health.
Jenee (43:08):
Yeah, absolutely.
And I think you know the keyreally is to the stabilization
you know of of the, of the self,getting your, your getting the
equilibrium, yeah, and then youcan go get suited up and go
inside and go into the, you know, go to the International Space
(43:31):
Station and go exploring.
Yes, once you've stabilized,you know it's like then we can
start to do the shadow work.
You know then, because it'slike, okay, I'm, you know, if
you start to do the shadow workor you start to do you know, you
start to, and a lot of peopledo they go in and they're
looking at their past andthey're already like so
(43:52):
dysregulated, and then it's justlike oh, I mean, that is a
recipe for just like a mentalbreak.
Emily (44:00):
Yes, you know, yes, I'm so glad that you mentioned that.
So that is how we start prettymuch every SE session and most
of the you know, meditation andenergy healing retreats that we,
um, that we uh, facilitate.
The first part is the tethers,it's the resources you know
(44:23):
we'll have you orient to theroom.
Um, there's something and thisis actually a tool that you can
use anytime.
Um, so, for anybody who'slistening, um, literally,
there's something about being amammal and having a mammal's
nervous system, that if we lookaround our environment,
especially if we're not well, ifwe're out in nature, that can
(44:44):
be really nice and can be reallyresourcing.
But if you just look around anda lot of people will do the
okay, I'm done.
No, no, no.
Again, we're going with thebody, so it's slow.
So take like at least 60seconds, a minute or two and
(45:04):
just slowly look around yourroom, look around your
environment and look for thingsthat make you feel safe.
So you're literally orientingto safety.
That's something that you cando and just practice it.
You know, sometime today,sometime in the next couple of
days, or even as we're talkingfor the rest of you know this
podcast, like, feel free to justlook around and let your eyes
wander where they want to go.
It settles the nervous systemand then, if you can connect
(45:28):
with something outside of youthat makes you feel safe an
object for me, it's plants.
My husband has a green thumband I'm so grateful.
I am always surrounded byplants and so I have all of
these beautiful resources andfriends that can help in
whatever work I'm doing and thenspend time with it.
They'll look at it and thenlook back at me and be like,
(45:50):
okay, I did it.
It's like no, no, no, no, likeactually spend time with it.
Yeah, the orienting and theresourcing.
So, resourcing outside of you,finding an object outside of you
and then going inside your bodyand just in this moment, as
your listeners are listening tothis, can you find a part of
your body that feels safe,present, maybe let yourself hang
(46:10):
out there for the rest of ourtime?
Another thing that you can doorienting and resourcing.
Anytime you can always comeback to your ground.
That's another resource,another tether to the space
station.
So in this moment, can you feelinto your body and can you
notice the parts of your bodythat are in contact with the
(46:32):
surface underneath you andbehind you and just let yourself
be held.
Can you kind of let yourselfsink into the surface a little
bit more, feeling it kind ofcome up from the ground and
support you?
There's one resource that'salways there, even if you're in
a plane there's the seat and thefloor.
The ground is always there.
(46:57):
So, especially for my anxietypeeps, if you are feeling
anxious, come back to yourground.
Sometimes you might need tomove and kind of burn off a
little bit of the energy.
But notice the difference alsoI don't know why I'm saying this
, but there, evidently this isfor a couple of your listeners
(47:18):
Notice the difference betweenembodied movement and
disconnected, disassociatedmovement.
You know, I've got a clientright now who's working through
something like this and he's arunner and he runs miles and
miles and miles every day, butit's completely disassociated,
so he's not actually burning offthe flight in his body.
And so, yeah, like as you weresaying, like you have to feel it
(47:44):
, you have to be with it inorder to release it.
So, yeah, just those are threeeasy little tethers, easy tools
that your listeners can takeaway from this, that can help
bring them back to the presentmoment, find safety, be those
tethers to the InternationalSpace Station if you're, you
know, in a panicky situation orreally stressed, or something
(48:08):
Amazing.
Jenee (48:09):
Any last final recommendations, words of
insight before we close out Many.
Emily (48:19):
Definitely, if you can do the science-y nerd out for the
first quarter of the book, readwhen the Body Says no, yeah, it
is brilliant.
Any books by Peter Levine Ihighly recommend because what
they're going to do is help you.
It's going to help your mindhave something to hold on to
(48:42):
with this body process so thatmaybe you can let yourself go
into the body a little bit more.
Every time I've tuned into myguides, my spiritual support, my
energetic support, the messageI get is you are exactly where
you're supposed to be.
We want to all get to this likeamazing healed state or you
(49:03):
know, same thing around money,like if I have money then I'll
be able to be happy, healthy,whatever.
We have this like what I usedto call horizon version.
There was Horizon Emily and shedid all of these things and
(49:25):
made all this money and wastotally healed and everything
was great.
First off, that bitch does notexist and never will.
That is not like.
That is.
That is not if you've beenholding yourself up to some sort
of ideal outside of yourself orin the future.
That person does not exist.
The best thing to do is to goin where you are, who you are
(49:45):
right now and make friends withthat.
Make friends with that person,be kind to that person.
The fastest way to get there isto slow down and to go at the
body's pace.
I don't know if anybody herehas seen that.
There's like a meme of a wolfpack in a line and they put the
(50:06):
oldest, the oldest wolves in thefront.
They set the pace, so theslowest set the pace, then
they've got, you know, like thestrongest, hardest core warriors
to protect the pack, then therest of the pack, then at the
back they have the leaderwatching everyone's back, but
(50:26):
they're setting the pace withtheir oldest and slowest members
.
So, if we can, let's be like awolf pack and let's set our pace
with our slowest part, ourbodies, and honestly, it's the
fastest way to go, because ifyou go at the mind's pace,
you're going to leave a wholebunch of parts of you back there
(50:47):
that you're going to have to atsome point detour and go back
and get.
And if you go at that slowbody's pace oh my God I the only
(51:08):
way out is through and and youcannot get yourself there by
hating yourself or makingyourself wrong or bad or being
impatient with yourself.
Notice how you relate to theparts that are coming up right
now, because we're in thiscollective process right now
where we're being given theopportunity for some serious
(51:32):
integration.
It can come in the form of apurge, of a test of shit falling
apart, but know that nothing ishappening to you.
It is happening for you and ifyou can find the lesson, the
growth, the thing that thisuniverse that loves you so much
is trying to teach you, tryingto help you heal, and if you can
(51:55):
be with that part, that's mybiggest piece of advice is to
just be with it and and relateto the parts of you that are
coming up in a kinder way thanmaybe our parents did, our
siblings did, our friends did.
Yeah, yeah, kindness andcompassion and patience are the
(52:17):
fastest way to get there.
Jenee (52:19):
Love it.
Thank you so much.
The Heartlight Sessions podcastis executive produced and
hosted by me, janae Halstead.
It's edited, mixed and masteredby me too, and that theme song
you hear, it's called Heartlight.
And yep, you guessed it, it'sfrom my record.
(52:39):
Disposable Love.
Got questions about a certainhealing modality or about
heart-centered healing, or maybeyou just need some advice on
life, love or creativity.
Send it my way.
Email me at letters atheartlightpodcastcom.
Until next time, I'm JanaeHalstead, and thanks for
listening to Heartlight Sessions.
A thousand volts of sunshineRays are burning so bright.
(53:09):
Thank you.
Welcome to the Heartlight Sessions, a podcast about light
working your way through darktimes.
I'm Janae Halstead.
I'm a singer-songwriter,holistic vocal coach, intuitive
guide and plant medicinefacilitator.
I'm also a survivor ofchildhood abuse, autoimmune
issues and my 30s also asurvivor of childhood abuse,
(00:27):
autoimmune issues and my 30s.
I'm on a lifelong healingjourney and, along the way, I
want to share the ideas andteachings that rock my world.
Every week on HeartlightSessions, I call in artists,
healers and thinkers to explorewhat's helped them live and
thrive from a heart-centeredplace, because the heart, it's
where the best things happen.
If you've ever wondered how tounlock your biggest
(00:51):
breakthroughs or how to comeback from that stuff that tried
to kill you, you know the stuffI'm talking about, the stuff
that's supposed to make youstronger.
Or if you've ever wondered howto just do you straight from the
heart, you're in the rightplace.
So join me, won't you?
Let's turn on that heart light.
(01:18):
Hello, hi, I'm so excited tohave Emily Baldwin on the
podcast today.
She is a somatic experiencingpractitioner.
She has a community and aplatform called Pachaccia.
She's a transformationalwellness guide, a little bit of
(01:41):
astrology nerd, a little bit ofwoo-woo, some shamanic practices
it's like the perfect packageof everything that I love and
the type of individuals that Ilike to talk to, and we are just
getting to know each other.
We know each other through likea circle of friends and we're
(02:03):
already kind of nonstop in ourin our flow, so I'm so excited
to have you here.
Thank you so much for being onthe show.
Thank you so much for having me.
It's a real honor to be here.
Yeah, it's very exciting.
Um, I wanted to talk a littlebit about um first.
Just your, uh, your gut, yourpath to healing and really like
(02:27):
what brought you into this world.
I'm always very curious aboutthat um, with people and kind of
where, where you went first,what was your first stop on,
like your journey?
Emily (02:43):
Um, so my body was absolutely shutting down and
that was the start of this wholeprocess.
I was working in corporate at aconsulting firm, one of the big
four and um, of course, if mywork is in healing and I don't
think, I don't know if wementioned somatic experiencing,
but I'm also um, Um but yeah.
(03:06):
So if that's my path, of courseit was a complete mismatch to be
, you know, working with a bunchof consultants and I was there
for four years and I was sostressed out that I know now my
body was shutting down and goingthrough um high cortisol
symptoms.
Yeah.
So, you know, big swollen facewas carrying more weight than I
(03:28):
normally do, my hair wasthinning, I had heart
palpitations, panic attacks twoto three times a week, migraines
two to three times a week and,yeah, just my whole body was
shutting down.
Even my parents were saying youknow, emily, we know that you
have a good, steady job andincome and benefits, but it's
(03:52):
not worth your health journey inthe work started with meeting a
woman on a subway platform andfor anybody who lives in New
York, you know we don't makefriends down there, right?
So I was in, yeah, and I was infull fuck off mode.
(04:14):
Oh, sorry.
Jenee (04:14):
Can we cut on that?
Oh yeah, I love, love me someexplicits, okay, so.
Emily (04:19):
I was in full fuck off mode uh, earbuds, sunglasses on
the subway platform and thiswoman just gets my attention and
she is obviously not from NewYork and I do my civic duty, can
I help you?
And she wants to make sure thatshe's going into the city the
right direction.
(04:39):
So I was like, yeah, you are,where are you getting off?
We were getting off at the samestop.
So I said whenever I get off,you'll get off.
And then I know now that it wasa breadcrumb from the universe,
totally, but all it presentedas was a huh like a little open
(05:02):
curiosity.
So I say that because I have afeeling that someone is going to
be listening to this, and thenext time you feel that
curiosity, follow it.
It has led me to really, reallygood things.
So that led me to this rebirthand renewal retreat in the
foothills of Vermont, and thensomeone there introduced me to
three different guides inshamanic work, and so then I
(05:23):
started along you know thetransformational wellness path
and meditation retreats and fromthere someone that I was
training with knew an SEP and hecame to do a workshop with us,
and I'm always, whenever we doworkshops, I like to be the
guinea pig and I like to kind of.
(05:45):
You know, with this healing workI just jumped in both feet into
the deep end.
Within three months I wastraining to do work.
You know, wow and my husband isalso my co-facilitator he
didn't want to do it.
We were so codependent andenmeshed at the beginning he
didn't want to do it.
We were so codependent andenmeshed at the at the beginning
(06:05):
he didn't want to do it justbecause I was, so he took his
time and kind of waded inthrough the kiddie pool.
But that was not my MO.
Like both feet deep end threemonths in and um, so yeah, with
SEP, I jumped in with thatworkshop, loved it.
My whole body reacted to it.
My whole nervous system wasjust like, yes, this, this
(06:26):
actually works.
And so then I started training.
It was COVID, so a normalthree-year training took four
years.
But I've been in the work forabout eight years now and been
working four and yeah, it's.
It's been a crazy, amazing,incredibly healing ride so far.
(06:50):
And you know, with someapprenticeships they take like
10 years.
So while I feel like I've hadamazing, amazing teachers,
amazing training on multipledifferent platforms, many
different fronts, and I alwaysfeel like I'm continuously
learning and continuouslygrowing.
(07:11):
This is a forever PhD.
You know, give a healing, get ahealing is kind of a is a
really good thing yeah.
You know, I still also considermyself a baby in this.
You know, I'm eight years intomy 10 year, you know
apprenticeship.
Jenee (07:30):
Wow yeah.
So in case anyone doesn't know,SCP is somatic experiencing
practitioner, and that's DrPeter Levine's work.
Emily (07:40):
He I think he started, I want to say in the 60s or 70s,
and drew from all thesedifferent methodologies,
including Stephen Porges'polyvagal theory.
He did a deep dive on thenervous system and it was all
based off of the questionanimals in the wild don't get
PTSD Right, psd right, butanimals in captivity and humans
(08:03):
do, even though animals in thewild have so many more daily
instances of being under mortalthreat so what's the?
disease, and so he understood.
He did this deep dive on thenervous system and then was able
to understand.
Oh, you know, animals in thewild are able to run it off,
(08:25):
they're able to get away fromtheir attacker, they're able to
fight off their attacker, andwhat that does is it releases a
tremendous amount of built upactivation in our bodies, so
they're able to complete thetrauma cycle on a daily basis
shake it off, you know get theactivation out of their bodies,
(08:49):
get the activation out of theirbodies.
But when we're at home and itmay be your parent that is the
stressor, or your sibling, oryou know there may be abuse in
the house or trauma in the house, you can't escape it and so
you're continuously gettingrevved up and getting activated,
which is just how our bodyevolved, you know.
But then you're not able tospend the energy and so it gets
(09:09):
stuck in the tissues of yourbody.
We get, you know, things allthe way up to PTSD and it could
affect our health.
And so his work works directlywith the nervous system to re
and train it into its naturalrhythms.
You know, SEPs are there as theguidepost for sessions to help
(09:30):
the body do what it naturallydoes, which is be in a healing
state, be in a healed state,come back to equilibrium.
And, yeah, his work has been,honestly, one of the most
efficient and quickest ways torelease stuck trauma and
activation from the body and toheal the body that I've been
(09:51):
trained in or that I've, youknow, just discovered along the
way and dabbled in and, you know, gotten curious about, which is
interesting to say that it'sthe quickest and one of the most
quick and efficient becauseyou're working on the body level
, so everything has to slow down.
Yeah, so it's one of those.
The fastest way to get there isto slow down and even with the
(10:13):
slowdown, it's still way moreefficient, in my opinion in my
opinion than a lot of the othermethodologies that that I've
been curious about along the way, methodologies that that I've
been curious about along the way.
Jenee (10:25):
Wow, I'm, I'm curious, like how quickly you saw for
yourself this, this recovery,like after you left corporate.
Emily (10:33):
So, with my personal healing journey, you know, I
always tell people that healingis like this Yep, expansion,
contraction, expansion,contraction.
That is the rhythm of life andhealing on our planet and you
know, it's a heartbeat, it's ourlungs, it's the seasons of the
year.
So, um, you know, and myhealing has been like this.
(10:57):
Yeah, I will say that Iprobably.
It took about three to sixmonths for me to go.
Holy shit, this works and I amin such a better place and like
I could really see thedifference, and I, you know that
used to be, that used to be thecase.
(11:20):
It's not anymore.
Health wise, when I jumped intothe work again, I was having
three to three to five panicattacks a week.
Three to five migraines a week.
My hair was thinning oh um, itwas like the, like a faucet got
shut off when I quit thecorporate and moved into
training work.
So I basically just kind ofstopped having the migraines, or
(11:44):
migraines went from three tofive a week to three to five a
year, and then panic attacks.
I mean I probably have had Idon't know a handful in the last
eight years.
So I mean just that there weresome aspects of it that were
just night and day.
There were some aspects of itthat were just night and day.
Yeah, when I no longer had thatday-to-day all the time drowning
(12:08):
in cortisol and adrenalineenvironment, my body just
naturally came to a more healedstate pretty quickly, yeah.
And then, just with this workand the SE work, yeah, you
really can tell a difference inthis work in about three to six
(12:29):
months.
Now you're also dealing withthings that took patterns,
coping mechanisms, strategies,ways that our bodies contorted
into these unnatural shapes inorder to survive and get through
and react to whatever happened.
And it's really important toknow that.
(12:52):
You know, if it took decades toform and then get reinforced
and reinforced and reinforced,it's not going to be a month's
long process.
I mean it could be, but youreally want to give your body
just as much time and space asit needs.
So, yes, I could see a hugedifference in three to six
(13:16):
months eight years ago, and I'vebeen.
I've been in this process forthe last eight years and I'm
still discovering new layers.
I'm still this and will be forthe rest of my life.
And it took decades to createand reinforce, can sometimes
take years to painstakingly andlovingly and gently and
(13:41):
patiently untangle.
So I think it's also reallyimportant for anyone who's
listening to know like bepatient.
Jenee (13:51):
Absolutely.
Emily (13:52):
Trauma happens too much, too soon, too fast, so healing
needs to happen.
No pressure, yep, all the timein the world with loving
acceptance and just so muchkindness, compassion and
patience.
Jenee (14:08):
Yeah, this is so important.
I think this is a message thatyou know so many people don't
receive and it's like vital tohealing because people give up
(14:30):
up.
It's a long game and I know formyself, like you know, I was on
my path just of initial healing, kind of the big chunk, for 15
years and there was like finally, a moment where I knew I was at
the end of the tunnel.
It was only the end of a tunnel, you know.
The only way out is through,and it doesn't and it's not a
race and it does get better.
(14:50):
I think that's the hardestthing is people.
It gets harder and it getsworse before it gets better.
Definitely true, and that Imean that's where people can
just get stopped and stuck.
Emily (15:05):
You, know, so, that is the contraction part of this
process and one of the things Itry and totally normalize.
And for anyone who's listeninglike, please hear us.
We've been through our ownversions of this and each time I
go back into the contractionyou know it's gnarly, it's not
fun, it's not comfortable.
(15:25):
But, girl, I learned so muchmore in this part than I do in
this we get so much more out ofthe gnarly bits, the dark parts,
the uncomfortable parts.
We learn so much more, we purgeso much more, we integrate so
much more in those contractionsand they are just as much a part
of the healing process as this,you know.
(15:47):
Yeah, and I totally agree withyou about one of the things I
see with clients is again, wecome from this patriarchal.
Everybody's nervous systems arejacked, especially, you know,
coming from New York.
Love um, love New York.
But every time we go back.
I just look around and I'm likeeveryone's system is jacked,
(16:10):
everyone's baseline is up infight flight.
Yeah and um, that is not how weevolved.
You know.
We evolved to have our baselinedown in ventral and and social,
open, curious, you know thatplace where we actually can hear
the messages our body is givingus and those little intuitive
hits and our curiosity can leadus good places because we feel
(16:33):
safe enough to be open andcurious and social.
Um, but I am finding that a lotof people, people with the do
it now fast is better, do likejust go, go, go.
Breakneck pace of our cultureand the, the way that western
(16:56):
medicine has um created apharmaceutical based uh model
where it's if you have this,take a pill for it, and it's one
of those.
You know it's this quick andwe'll just change this and we'll
fix you.
And you know it's absolutelythe opposite of that it's.
(17:16):
You're perfect as you are.
You don't need fixing it's.
Yeah, we're working on stuff,we're all working on stuff.
We're going to be working onstuff for the rest of our lives
and slow and steady wins therace.
We want to be the tortoise hereBecause our bodies honestly our
bodies could not handle therate of change that our minds
(17:41):
want to go.
If my clients so many clientswill come in and they'll be
dealing with a particular thingand they'll have this idea of
like when they want this doneand I have to explain to them.
It's just not how healing worksand, truthfully, if you went as
quickly as you want to, yourbody would break down.
(18:04):
Yeah, physically, the cells inyour body, the molecules that
hold you together, could nothandle the rate of change that
your mind thinks is appropriate,yeah, and so it's really
important if you're on thishealing path, if you're starting
this healing path tortoise, notthe hare, and one step at a
(18:29):
time, and it's not linear.
It's this, so it is not.
Oh, we just keep getting betterand better and better.
Jenee (18:41):
No, no, no, like, sometimes there's the
contraction after the bigexpansion and that's just as
much a part of it.
Yeah, it's to me.
The big expansion and that'sjust as much a part of it.
Yeah, it's to me, like I'm sopassionate about.
Emily (18:51):
I'm always like the hill, the hill that I will die on.
Jenee (18:54):
Is um being a representative for the body?
Yes, because the body is, Ithink, deeply embedded into
Pachamama and into the feminine,you know, into the feminine
aspect on our planet, thatpolarity, and it's the
(19:15):
subconscious language, and welive in a world that is, you
know, wants to dominate andcontrol and know when things are
going to be done and give me atimeline, blah, blah, blah blah.
And unfortunately, as youexperienced in, you know,
working in your corporate job islike you have to bring the body
(19:38):
with you.
Emily (19:53):
You have to start to understand and learn this
language if you really want tohave a quality life.
My work lately has been aroundthis, you know, coming from old
model, uh, patriarchy, hierarchytop down, um, rushing things
past.
You know, going from the mind,mind, mind, all all masculine,
(20:16):
um, the body, I feel is that,yeah, that more feminine,
connected to mother earth.
We need to be loving andrespecting our, our mother, more
than we are.
She is very sick right now.
And the way that we approach ourown healing, the parts of us
that come up that we had toabandon along the way in order
(20:36):
to be connected with our familymembers, our caregivers, our
cultures, our peer groups, it'snot about getting rid of
anything and it's not aboutdominating anything and power
over that is the old model.
The way to healing is how canwe bring all parts into the
whole, how can we take care ofthe whole, how can we be more
(21:00):
whole?
And that includes our light andour darkness, the things that
we like about ourselves and thethings that we don't.
You know the things that are inour, the light of our awareness
and then the shadow of oursubconscious, which is most of
us.
You know, 99% of us, yeah, and.
And I think, collectively,we're all at different parts of
(21:22):
this path and this lesson.
We're all at different parts ofthis path and this lesson, but
it is so important for us,collectively and individually,
to start to really unlearn that.
All right, come on, dominator,like you have to go at my pace,
or the mind is telling the bodyyou have to heal at my pace, um
(21:43):
and?
Or disregarding the feminine,disrespecting the feminine,
disrespecting the body.
How many people do we know thatare just like, oh, I'll sleep
when I'm dead.
Yeah, that's crazy.
How many of us and this issomething I used to do in
corporate just body urges likehaving to go to the bathroom,
(22:03):
and I'd be like, oh, but I haveone more email and I got to do
this and that, and then you'dlike kind of wake up out of your
disassociated state five hourslater and you never went to the
bathroom.
How often do we do thatdisregarding, you know, big and
small, these parts of uh and andfunctions of our body?
And this is where it all is.
(22:24):
Trauma lives here, the reasonwhy we are finding that solely
mind-based therapies likepsychotherapy and I say this
knowing a couple of really greattherapists out there that bring
a body and do really beautifulwork.
But the vast majority of youknow psychotherapy and
(22:47):
psychiatry kind of cuts you offat the neck and treats you from
here up.
But trauma is a body thing andso we're.
we're seeing the limitations oftrying to treat a body thing
through the mind.
So, yeah, you know, I thinkthis healing process is a lot of
unlearning things that we havelearned in our families and our
(23:09):
cultures and this dominatormodel.
It's just getting unlearned anddismantled right now and, thank
God, it's making us sick.
Jenee (23:16):
Totally.
Yeah.
It's very interesting too,because you know when you're in
therapy and you're rehashingyour traumas with your therapist
, your body actually doesn'tknow the difference between the
time that it happened and whatyou're retelling.
So you're re-traumatizingyourself every single time that
(23:39):
you rehash that story.
Emily (23:42):
I'm so glad that you brought that up.
It's something I've beennoticing in my sessions,
especially lately.
So one of the journeys that wehave to bring clients along is
that it's be patient with yourbody and it's going to take
longer than you want it to.
So another thing that I'mnoticing all right, really
(24:05):
important for all of yourclients to know that there is
kind of this magnetization, thispull to the trauma.
Whatever the trauma is, itmight be an event.
It also could be little ttrauma of just not being seen,
not being heard.
You know, both of those holesin the trauma landscape have a
(24:30):
magnetization.
In SE we call it the traumavortex and there's a pole to the
center of the vortex.
So many of my clients want tocome in and they want to talk
about it.
And there's this urgency of Ihave to tell you, I have to tell
you and part of my job isactually to hit the pause button
First off, your body is tellingme the story.
(24:52):
Second, if I let you just gooff into the story, truthfully,
you're just going to jump rightinto the middle of the trauma
vortex, disassociate.
We're going to spend the entirerest of the session, possibly
the next week, getting you backout of freeze.
Yes, yes, and so really it'sfunny because I've had a couple
(25:16):
of sessions with clients where,like they don't take to SE or
they feel like it's you know,they want to talk about it and
and I absolutely get that,sometimes we need our story to
be heard and there is a part ofthat and there's a way to
titrate it and an SEpractitioner is there to help
(25:38):
kind of put the pauses in.
Literally we ask yourpermission to interrupt for this
reason.
But it's so that we don't gozero to 60 on the runaway trauma
train and just go up intodisassociation.
But people have and it's anatural.
This is how our bodies arewired.
Trauma has a pull to it Foranyone listening.
(26:00):
It's not always healing to justtell the story full stop and to
let your body go with thatrunaway train and that pull
towards the story full stop, andto let your body go with that
runaway train and that pulltowards the story and talking
about it.
Talking about it, like you said, absolutely can re-traumatize
you and if you take pauses,again trauma happens too much,
(26:23):
too soon, too fast.
So if you take pauses and oh,we're going to pause here and
let's just deal with whateveractivation the body has.
You know, in telling of thestory, like you said, the body
has no idea.
We go back into a body state.
We revert back to that bodymemory of whatever was happening
at the time and can we pauseand can we just be with this and
(26:45):
can we just take a little babybite and sit with the discomfort
and the activation enough andmap it out in the body in a safe
way and maybe be with the edgesof it instead of the whole
thing until you get a release,the tingles, the heat, the sweat
, the yawn the body wants topurge a lot of different ways
(27:09):
and can we be with it and justtake little baby bites out over
time.
So instead of saying it in twominutes, you might take two or
three sessions on it maybe more.
But by the time you're done withit, instead of re-traumatizing
yourself, you will have actuallymetabolized the stuck energy in
(27:30):
your body and you'll actuallynot be looping on the trauma in
your body anymore.
Yes, so I'm so glad you broughtthat up, because it's something
I've noticed in client sessionsand I think that it's really
important for anyone goingthrough their healing journey to
understand.
Jenee (27:47):
Yeah, and I think there's what happens is there's this
over time, I know, for me, whenI started to heal from my own
trauma, you know, and was justliving in the neck up, you know,
like we do and disassociatingleft and right, you know when,
yeah, when I started to and Ialso went on, you know,
(28:08):
antidepressant, went on anantidepressant that for my
anxiety attacks, so you know,and was like very quickly, was
like, oh my God, I don't want tobe on this thing, you know,
because I did actually likefeeling, even though they were
in these extremes, you know, Idid like feeling.
So I went off and I had abacklog of anxiety.
(28:30):
So the thing that I went on toto, you know, make it go away.
I had now way worse tidal wavesof anxiety.
Yes, and you know somethinginside of me knew this time that
like, okay, I'm going to haveto dive into the waves, I'm
going to have to find a way todeal with this overwhelm.
(28:51):
And you've talked a little bit.
I saw one of your Instagramposts on anxiety and I thought
it was really powerful and maybewe can talk a little bit about
that, because I thought the youknow the connection there was
like, oh, this is it.
But you know like, oh, this isthis, is it.
(29:12):
But, um, you know, when you'reinitially kind of de-thawing or
working, you know within thebody, that's when it's like
again can feel so uncomfortableand extreme, you know, but it's,
it's, it's all about feeling,it's going into the feeling,
into the body and moving it.
Emily (29:29):
I'm sitting here, I have these moments where I'm like be
cool, baldwin, be cool becauseI'm just so excited and I love
talking about this.
And okay, anxiety is a naturalbyproduct of living in our
culture, the way that it is setup right now.
So I want to normalize all ofyour listeners that are battling
(29:51):
and dancing with anxiety.
Our culture is backwards.
It's sick.
It's not based off of whatbeing an actual human, of being
whole with all of our parts andall of our emotions.
We are taught some backwardsthings that create tension and
(30:13):
stuck flight.
It's usually flight.
There's some fight or two, butstuck flight in the body.
So I want to normalize it first.
Okay, quick thing on meds.
Okay, quick thing on meds.
(30:36):
One around depression andchemical imbalance straight up
chemical imbalance.
Honestly, there are a couple ofclients that I've worked with
or people that I know thatactually have the actual
chemical imbalance and theyabsolutely need those meds.
Their life is better with thosemeds.
Um, it's absolutely the right,you know course of treatment.
(30:57):
The vast majority.
I don't think it's the rightthing for them.
And here's why, with the SSRIs,especially if you're talking
about, like the anti-anxietymeds, what they do is they cut
you off from the messages thatare happening in your body.
(31:18):
Your body, your nervous system,has evolved for thousands and
thousands of years to give youmessages of danger and safety.
Anxiety is basically when we'restuck with the gear in danger,
on overdrive all the time.
Trauma is a body thing, so it'susually, you know, a set of
(31:43):
things that happened, that weweren't able to then complete
the trauma cycle Like we talkedabout with animals.
That happened, that we weren'table to then complete the trauma
cycle like we talked about withanimals.
Same thing with humans.
We can't run it off because wehave to go to our room instead
of being able to run it off andrun away from a lion and the
african savannah.
So over time, that gets stuckin the tissues of our bodies.
(32:07):
What an anti-anxiety med doesis it numbs you, it cuts you off
from the message that your bodyis screaming at you, saying
danger, danger, danger.
When we don't feel something,it gets stuck in the tissues of
(32:28):
our bodies.
The way to release somethingfrom the tissue of your body,
release the energy of it,release the activation of it,
the trauma is kind of how wecontort ourselves into shapes
that are unnatural afterwards.
Trauma is not the event, it'show we, uh, it's how we react to
(32:49):
the event, the stories that wemake true of it.
Yes, um, so with anxiety meds,honestly, the worst withdrawal
process that I have everwitnessed a friend or client
colleague anyone go through wasa woman with severe anxiety who
(33:11):
had been on benzos for about 20years whoa, and it took her pain
stakingly.
I mean, we're talking likeshaving parts of a pill off.
Yeah, little by little,titrating down for two fucking
years.
Wow, wow.
Ever since I witnessed that, Ialways encourage people.
(33:34):
You know work with an SEP, dothe harder.
You know longer work, slower,slower work of really like in a
guided way, like, get yourselfsomebody who is trained and
educated on how to help youprocess this, rather than going
(33:55):
the easy route, that patriarchalquick, you know faster is
better, more is better, you know, backwards messaging that we
get in our culture.
Go the slower route, yeah,because what you're doing is
you're just trapping the anxietyin your body, which is what you
experienced, yep.
And so, getting off of those,what you're going to do is, as
(34:17):
soon as you bring the, as soonas you titrate the anti-anxiety
med down, all of that stuff thatyou didn't want to feel, the
panic attacks, the anxietyattacks, the you know just
generalized anxiety, the notbeing able to sleep, the stress
that what that does is it takesthe lid off of it, so then it
can come out.
Jenee (34:37):
Yeah.
Emily (34:37):
So, if you are going through this process, know that
you're not going crazy, and itdoesn't mean that you should go
back on the benzos and youshould up your dose.
It means that you should go toa practitioner that you trust,
that is trained, properlytrained on how to work with this
and over time you can purge allof this.
The only way out is through theway that our bodies purge is by
(35:02):
feeling it and remember that itgoes out the way it came in.
So if it came in as anxiety,you're going to sit there on a
random Monday afternoon and it'sgoing to come out and there's
no stressor that happened, nostimulus, that happened.
And you don't know why youthink you're going crazy because
you're just all of a suddenpanicky.
It's not that you're goingcrazy, baby.
(35:24):
It's because two years ago youhad a panic attack that you
numbed yeah.
It's because two years ago youhad a panic attack that you
numbed yeah, and that the energyof that literally gets stuck in
the muscles and the fascia andthe nerves in our bodies and so
it's going to come out the wayit came in anxiety.
It's interesting.
It's interesting the more I gointo it and I'm a big Gabor Mate
(35:47):
fan.
Yeah.
So Gabor Mate for those of yourlisteners who don't know is a
brilliant doctor that is in thiswork and has written books on
everything from addiction that Ireally I believe in his model
rather than you know the AAmodel, and I totally honor the
(36:08):
AA model and how many people ithelps.
He's written books on ADD and,oh my God, as somebody who was
diagnosed as ADHDnon-hyperactive type in eighth
grade, totally agree with him.
He wrote a book called when thebody says no, and it is this
(36:28):
brilliant way of looking at thebody that I I mean in in our um,
transformational wellness work.
If you're training in it andour lineage and our little
subsects of the lineage with ourteacher, that was one of the
first three books that that youread when you're training.
That was one of the first threebooks that you read when you're
training.
And he has a whole chapter onthe HPA axis your hypothalamus,
(36:54):
to your pituitary, to youradrenals, little big beanie caps
on the tops of your kidneys.
Your adrenals are the thingsthat release adrenaline and
cortisol.
So we evolved to releaseadrenaline and cortisol.
(37:14):
So we evolved to releaseadrenaline and cortisol.
And it's when it gets stuck inthe on position and we're kind
of drowning in cortisol all thetime that it literally can
create health issues.
Our body was not meant to bestuck in on all the time, so
we're going to pause for all thelisteners that might be
activated by talking about this,and remind everybody that your
(37:39):
body is a self-healing machine,wants to be in equilibrium, it
wants to be in a healed state,and I know plenty of people
personally and I have heard ofmany stories about people
finding healing by unlearning.
These emotional and behavioralthings that you know led to the
(38:02):
disease in the first place, sowanted to plant that seed
dis-ease in the first place, sowanted to plant that seed.
We take anxiety as just thisnormal thing in our culture, but
it's not.
It is the body telling yousomething's up.
It's the body telling youthere's danger Now it doesn't
(38:24):
necessarily have to be dangerfrom your life right now.
You could have a wonderfulfamily life and a job that you
love, and this and that, butthere's enough.
That's similar energetically towhen the anxiety first got in
your body when you were a kid,probably, yeah, or maybe there's
a car accident that your bodyhasn't fully metabolized.
You weren't able to completethe trauma cycle around it.
So that's why you want to workwith a practitioner who can help
(38:48):
you release the energy and theactivation from your tissues,
and it's really importantbecause you know it can lead to
a number of.
You know we have incidences ofcancer, autoimmune diseases
(39:08):
skyrocketing right now and a lotof that comes from being stuck
in the on-flight position, andso it's part of the reason why
I'm passionate about this andwhy it's important to not
normalize it away and to notaddress it, because, you know,
(39:29):
it does affect your health.
Now, again, just saying to allof the people with super
powerful minds it is absolutelypossible to work with this and
to reclaim that relationshipwith your body and to help your
body get into its equilibriumand into its natural rhythms and
(39:52):
to feel safe in your body again.
And yeah, I've seen so manypeople you know cure their own
anxiety and depression.
I would say that I still havesome anxious, you know.
Again, my healing process hasbeen this, and sometimes, in the
(40:14):
contraction, I will go back tothat anxious place, but I used
to live there, right, these arenow like little visits, exactly,
and they're short visits.
Yeah, and I'm so much moreresourced Each time I go back to
those uncomfortable places I'vegot myself.
I have mapped out my body.
I'm so much more in my body,I'm so much more connected to my
(40:37):
body.
When we go into body work, youknow you've your listeners
might've heard that we are justas infinite inside as we go in,
as the universe is outside and Iused to think that was total
bullshit, but, honestly, in thelast eight years, oh my God, it
is absolutely true.
I am completely an infiniteuniverse inside and each and
(41:01):
every person is as well.
And so if we were astronauts onthe International Space Station,
and you know, doing trauma workor going into a meditation
retreat or you know any SE workanytime you're doing the inner
work it's like going on aspacewalk, yeah, on the space
station.
So what we do is we get atether and any astronaut is
(41:27):
going to have probably multipletethers to the international
space station.
If they're out in space workingon something on this, on the
station, they're going to have asuit that is containment to
keep them safe and to keep them,um, you know, give, give them
the necessary things for life,oxygen being one of them.
(41:47):
And so you want someone who'strained and can help.
You have those tethers, theresources, the orienting, the
titration, the containment ofthe SE session, so that we're
not George Clooney and gravityjust floating away, yeah, yeah,
(42:10):
um.
And so, and you know there arepractitioners that are skilled
at going out and finding you.
If you were ever the GeorgeClooney and you're out, lost in
space they can go and find youand bring you back.
Yeah, and so, um, so yeah, likeyou know, just encouraging any
listeners to know that first,you're not alone.
(42:31):
It is a natural thing to umhave anxiety and reaction to our
backwards ass culture and, um,and it's worth, it's worth the
the step-by-step, slow healingprocess.
Um, I think you know it's.
(42:51):
I'm so glad that you mentionedit cause I I just think it's so
important and it's so ubiquitous.
You know, we just consider, wejust consider anxiety to be a
normal part of our society but,um, normalizing it doesn't mean
that it's good for our healthpart of our society, but
normalizing it doesn't mean thatit's good for our health.
Jenee (43:08):
Yeah, absolutely.
And I think you know the keyreally is to the stabilization
you know of of the, of the self,getting your, your getting the
equilibrium, yeah, and then youcan go get suited up and go
inside and go into the, you know, go to the International Space
(43:31):
Station and go exploring.
Yes, once you've stabilized,you know it's like then we can
start to do the shadow work.
You know then, because it'slike, okay, I'm, you know, if
you start to do the shadow workor you start to do you know, you
start to, and a lot of peopledo they go in and they're
looking at their past andthey're already like so
(43:52):
dysregulated, and then it's justlike oh, I mean, that is a
recipe for just like a mentalbreak.
Emily (44:00):
Yes, you know, yes, I'm so glad that you mentioned that.
So that is how we start prettymuch every SE session and most
of the you know, meditation andenergy healing retreats that we,
um, that we uh, facilitate.
The first part is the tethers,it's the resources you know
(44:23):
we'll have you orient to theroom.
Um, there's something and thisis actually a tool that you can
use anytime.
Um, so, for anybody who'slistening, um, literally,
there's something about being amammal and having a mammal's
nervous system, that if we lookaround our environment,
especially if we're not well, ifwe're out in nature, that can
(44:44):
be really nice and can be reallyresourcing.
But if you just look around anda lot of people will do the
okay, I'm done.
No, no, no.
Again, we're going with thebody, so it's slow.
So take like at least 60seconds, a minute or two and
(45:04):
just slowly look around yourroom, look around your
environment and look for thingsthat make you feel safe.
So you're literally orientingto safety.
That's something that you cando and just practice it.
You know, sometime today,sometime in the next couple of
days, or even as we're talkingfor the rest of you know this
podcast, like, feel free to justlook around and let your eyes
wander where they want to go.
It settles the nervous systemand then, if you can connect
(45:28):
with something outside of youthat makes you feel safe an
object for me, it's plants.
My husband has a green thumband I'm so grateful.
I am always surrounded byplants and so I have all of
these beautiful resources andfriends that can help in
whatever work I'm doing and thenspend time with it.
They'll look at it and thenlook back at me and be like,
(45:50):
okay, I did it.
It's like no, no, no, no, likeactually spend time with it.
Yeah, the orienting and theresourcing.
So, resourcing outside of you,finding an object outside of you
and then going inside your bodyand just in this moment, as
your listeners are listening tothis, can you find a part of
your body that feels safe,present, maybe let yourself hang
(46:10):
out there for the rest of ourtime?
Another thing that you can doorienting and resourcing.
Anytime you can always comeback to your ground.
That's another resource,another tether to the space
station.
So in this moment, can you feelinto your body and can you
notice the parts of your bodythat are in contact with the
(46:32):
surface underneath you andbehind you and just let yourself
be held.
Can you kind of let yourselfsink into the surface a little
bit more, feeling it kind ofcome up from the ground and
support you?
There's one resource that'salways there, even if you're in
a plane there's the seat and thefloor.
The ground is always there.
(46:57):
So, especially for my anxietypeeps, if you are feeling
anxious, come back to yourground.
Sometimes you might need tomove and kind of burn off a
little bit of the energy.
But notice the difference alsoI don't know why I'm saying this
, but there, evidently this isfor a couple of your listeners
(47:18):
Notice the difference betweenembodied movement and
disconnected, disassociatedmovement.
You know, I've got a clientright now who's working through
something like this and he's arunner and he runs miles and
miles and miles every day, butit's completely disassociated,
so he's not actually burning offthe flight in his body.
And so, yeah, like as you weresaying, like you have to feel it
(47:44):
, you have to be with it inorder to release it.
So, yeah, just those are threeeasy little tethers, easy tools
that your listeners can takeaway from this, that can help
bring them back to the presentmoment, find safety, be those
tethers to the InternationalSpace Station if you're, you
know, in a panicky situation orreally stressed, or something
(48:08):
Amazing.
Jenee (48:09):
Any last final recommendations, words of
insight before we close out Many.
Emily (48:19):
Definitely, if you can do the science-y nerd out for the
first quarter of the book, readwhen the Body Says no, yeah, it
is brilliant.
Any books by Peter Levine Ihighly recommend because what
they're going to do is help you.
It's going to help your mindhave something to hold on to
(48:42):
with this body process so thatmaybe you can let yourself go
into the body a little bit more.
Every time I've tuned into myguides, my spiritual support, my
energetic support, the messageI get is you are exactly where
you're supposed to be.
We want to all get to this likeamazing healed state or you
(49:03):
know, same thing around money,like if I have money then I'll
be able to be happy, healthy,whatever.
We have this like what I usedto call horizon version.
There was Horizon Emily and shedid all of these things and
(49:25):
made all this money and wastotally healed and everything
was great.
First off, that bitch does notexist and never will.
That is not like.
That is.
That is not if you've beenholding yourself up to some sort
of ideal outside of yourself orin the future.
That person does not exist.
The best thing to do is to goin where you are, who you are
(49:45):
right now and make friends withthat.
Make friends with that person,be kind to that person.
The fastest way to get there isto slow down and to go at the
body's pace.
I don't know if anybody herehas seen that.
There's like a meme of a wolfpack in a line and they put the
(50:06):
oldest, the oldest wolves in thefront.
They set the pace, so theslowest set the pace, then
they've got, you know, like thestrongest, hardest core warriors
to protect the pack, then therest of the pack, then at the
back they have the leaderwatching everyone's back, but
(50:26):
they're setting the pace withtheir oldest and slowest members
.
So, if we can, let's be like awolf pack and let's set our pace
with our slowest part, ourbodies, and honestly, it's the
fastest way to go, because ifyou go at the mind's pace,
you're going to leave a wholebunch of parts of you back there
(50:47):
that you're going to have to atsome point detour and go back
and get.
And if you go at that slowbody's pace oh my God I the only
(51:08):
way out is through and and youcannot get yourself there by
hating yourself or makingyourself wrong or bad or being
impatient with yourself.
Notice how you relate to theparts that are coming up right
now, because we're in thiscollective process right now
where we're being given theopportunity for some serious
(51:32):
integration.
It can come in the form of apurge, of a test of shit falling
apart, but know that nothing ishappening to you.
It is happening for you and ifyou can find the lesson, the
growth, the thing that thisuniverse that loves you so much
is trying to teach you, tryingto help you heal, and if you can
(51:55):
be with that part, that's mybiggest piece of advice is to
just be with it and and relateto the parts of you that are
coming up in a kinder way thanmaybe our parents did, our
siblings did, our friends did.
Yeah, yeah, kindness andcompassion and patience are the
(52:17):
fastest way to get there.
Jenee (52:19):
Love it.
Thank you so much.
The Heartlight Sessions podcastis executive produced and
hosted by me, janae Halstead.
It's edited, mixed and masteredby me too, and that theme song
you hear, it's called Heartlight.
And yep, you guessed it, it'sfrom my record.
(52:39):
Disposable Love.
Got questions about a certainhealing modality or about
heart-centered healing, or maybeyou just need some advice on
life, love or creativity.
Send it my way.
Email me at letters atheartlightpodcastcom.
Until next time, I'm JanaeHalstead, and thanks for
listening to Heartlight Sessions.
A thousand volts of sunshineRays are burning so bright.
(53:09):
Thank you.
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