Greg Bird: his untold story of struggle, hidden behind the game

In episode 47, Mitch Wallis speaks to Greg Bird, a proud Anaiwan Man, born and raised in country New South Wales. He was a professional Rugby League player for an impressive 18 years, hanging up his boots in 2019 to move up to the Gold Coast and prioritise time with his wife and kids. This episode dives deep into untold stories of struggle both on and off the pitch.

this episode covers:

• his unspoken story of struggle, stigma and feeling like a burden.
• the impact of football on his mental health, from extreme highs to unmanageable lows.
• the media's portrayal and what really went on behind closed doors.
• anger on the field and run-ins with the police - from bad boy to family man.
• injury, pain, addiction and grieving the loss of his father.
• becoming a father and navigating his own identity change.

Stay connected:

www.instagram.com/birdman_13

www.projectnetzero.com.au

www.instagram.com/mitch.wallis

Have feedback to share, questions you want answered or guests you want to see on the show? Get in touch: ⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠

Watch the full episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/HkZJxdLJB04

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
I've never really spoken about this.
Do you think you ever experienced a mental health
issue I feel like I've legitimately don't think I've
ever spoken about? It when I think you're Greg
Bird, I think I've a fucking unit.
Strutting down the field, takingno prisoners but you know,
pretty soft part underneath. But I'm down in my car and drive
and park somewhere. And then we're getting out of

(00:21):
that pain. What what's gonna take to stop
it so I can the doctors and they've suspected out part of
bipolar and things like that andbecause the highs are high and
you enjoy it and you happy and that bellows are really low.
As you're sitting here talking to me, do you feel weak?
Loneliness is probably a big onebecause I don't want to ring

(00:42):
anyone. I don't wanna burden anyone.
And sometimes I wish I could bring someone pretty much locked
myself inside for about a month.I didn't leave.
It was like camera sitting out outside my house.
They were taking photos of me ifI went to the window through the
through the crack in the blinds.Does that just pour gasoline on
any existing mental health issue?
Yeah, I think it does, especially the way I've I've

(01:04):
dealt with situations. It's really strange.
I have actually thought about this until you ask me.
I feel you inside today, Greggy.Maybe what people were seeing as
anger was actually passion. That's why I see.
What's the real Greg Bird feeling at that at that moment?
No, you gotta get gotta figure it out.
What are you gonna do now? Alright, run it.

(01:26):
I wonder what you mean when you use the word I use the word Idi.
Take a break. Aversion to ourselves and to
what's happening inside us. Inside us I've been very

(01:51):
interested in this problem for along, long time.
Something settles. Welcome back to another episode.
Today's amazing guest is Greg Bird.
Greg was a professional rugby league player for an impressive
17 years, including representingNSW in State of Origin and being

(02:16):
selected to play for Australia. He hung up his boots in 2019 and
in this interview we get into some topics about mental health
that he hasn't really ever spoken about before and it was a
real honour to hear his journey.In more detail.
Remember, and a reminder to me included, not everything is what

(02:37):
it seems on the outside, and this story is certainly
testament to that. I hope you get as much out of it
as I did with a real man's man actually showing some humanity
underneath the armour and brave exterior.

(02:58):
And even if they can turn my microphone up because my voice
is shit out, we will. Actually, really just turn #2 up
just a tiny bit, or just pick itup a bit.
This is my first kiss. Where did that come from?
And hold on the throat. Um, I'll try.
I'll try to speak a bit clearer.Yeah, I gotta hold on the throat

(03:20):
Playing over in the Super late and it just ended my my vocal
ability. Yeah, it was awful.
I used to like, love singing andshow that.
No way. Yeah, no, it's awful.
It's terrible. So did it like break something
structural? Yeah, it didn't break it.
They thought because I couldn't speak for like 3 months at the

(03:40):
time, they thought I might have erupt so much gear.
If you do that, you basically have to get Russian surgery and
get it repaired. Otherwise can't breathe but just
swelled up and one side just scared.
Sort of like your vocal cords vibrate because scrapping the
scar tissue doesn't move so the other one has to go work double
time to get all the way across to it so it just comes across

(04:02):
crumbly. Yeah, shit.
But yeah, I miss this. Wasn't very happy about.
It. Yeah, yeah.
She's not happy now. She's like, what?
What? Like listen to.
Me, Yeah. She's like, yeah, it's it's hard
work, but this probably the likein the grand scheme of things
compared to you know, so many other rugby league players,

(04:25):
that's not too bad. I've.
Got pretty bad. Yeah, it is.
Just like wheelchairs and Alex McKinnon email.
Yeah, literally in a wheelchair from doing so.
Ma'am, thank you so much for taking the time.
Like, I really, really appreciate it.
It would have been so easy for you to.

(04:45):
Me to do to the conference and then get asked on a potty and
then life gets in the way. I don't take for granted that
you give me an hour. I really, really enjoyed.
Yeah, Yeah, presentation. Because it was cool.
It was cool. Yeah, it was good.
No, it's a good story. Heartfelt.
Felt thank you. Your dad I am.

(05:07):
I am father of two two little girls, having my first daughter
the 16th before I went to France, and then I had my second
little girl over and over in Peppino in South France.
It was good. What does being a dad mean to
you? Um, I think.
I think it's just someone that you can look after.

(05:28):
And I always think you look after your wife, but she look
after herself. She's pretty independent woman
with my wife. So having someone that basically
depends. Everything that is in their life
depends on you. So you gotta try to, you know,
shape them and, you know, try tobring them up to be the best

(05:50):
they can be. So it's the aspect of caring
about someone other than yourself.
And you hear a lot of people, particularly a lot of men, when
they have daughters. There's a certain softness that
comes out and I guess a a love that you never knew you had.
Was that your experience? Yeah, it is very different.
You know, I think you masculinity, you man, you, you

(06:13):
want to have a boy, you know, making exactly like you.
But for me, I wanted a girl. A little girl.
I grew up in a pretty big family.
I was the oldest of four and then my mum, mum remarried and
and she had another two. But so I've always sort of been
sort of an older person looking down over my family a little

(06:35):
bit. But to have my own little girl
was was a good. My second one was probably
outside and was a boy, but my mylittle thin.
Yeah, she's 7 now because the school just down the radio in
Broadbeach. And yeah, she was pretty
special. Is can you think of a a memory
or a moment that? When you think about being a

(06:58):
dad, like something that really sticks out for you is like when?
When did you stop and go fuck? This is pretty cool.
It's I think for me is it's justthe gestures.
Um, I should just come up and give you a cuddle like she sees
my city you're upset about. Some might say that my wife's

(07:19):
having to go with me or riding me about something and she'll
just come to me and and give youa cuddle.
Yeah. I think that's that's probably
the the little little things that I like just that it's the
things that that aren't set the unspoken word and as I say you
know and empathetic movements that sort of make you make you

(07:41):
feel a little bit special They just love maybe maybe you've put
something in there that was something's already there comes
through through the genetically that just just works.
You speaking about like family and and being a dad, I think you
mentioned it a couple times in previous occasions that you

(08:02):
realised later in life that there was some dysfunction in
your earlier childhood. What does that word, how does
that word play out in actuality when when you when you reflect
back on your childhood? Well, I don't know whether
there's this function in my early childhood, but later on
there definitely was my father, an alcoholic, and, you know, my

(08:25):
parents pretty much separated because of that.
Hmm. And then he sort of went into a
Daniel Spiral a little bit. I was off playing rugby league,
so it was. It was.
It wasn't something that um, I guess affected me at the time.
You know, he was doing what I was he was doing.

(08:47):
I was doing what I was doing. I wasn't in the household for a
lot of the time where the familywas sort of deteriorating a
little bit. My sisters took a little bit
harder than I did and I was because I was sort of had my my
eyes set on on the future playing NRL and moving out of
home and doing this and that. So but you know looking back,
looking back now and you know onsight and it was pretty it was

(09:10):
pretty dysfunctional. It was it's sad that it ended
the way it did. He he passed away.
Had a heart attack. You know that alcoholism sort of
takes over and sort of, you know, regular, regular health.
Just come second. Second fiddle really, for the

(09:31):
old man, which was unfortunate because he was a good man.
Yeah, he sounds like. I know.
Um, well, I don't know. I assume that he meant a lot to
you. And I've.
I've seen you speak about that before.
I want to, I want to touch on that in a little bit because
2016 was kind of a biggie if youaround.
I think it was the year your your dad passed and you became a

(09:53):
dad and at that time you stood down from the Titans.
Is that right? Yeah.
So um, we are at a baby in April, my first child.
And there was an issue at the times they were looking to move
me on, they were looking to moveme on and then they got a pretty
much a a reason nothing incident.

(10:17):
One of my friends going to fightand I still didn't stood in to
help him at a bar and I honestlyhad to drive.
Basically said we're going to get ready.
You're going to go overseas, youcan go overseas.
We're not playing here so you are left who arrived in France
was that for two nights and thenon the 3rd morning got a phone

(10:39):
call from my sister saying dad'sthat are attack.
It's pretty it's pretty shattering, obviously.
Obvious reasons. But yeah, it was my flu home,
dealt with all the family stuff,went back and then about a month
later, my grandma died, my my father's mother, and she had me

(11:00):
again. And then dealt with that.
And then about a month later, mydog, my dog died.
And I know you think a lot of people think that it's just a
dog, your dad, your dad or your grandma.
It's sort of that really knockedme that as well.
So it was, it was a triple. It was a triple football
football, you know, for me, you know it would upset me that I

(11:23):
that I had to go to to to the Super League to finish my
career. But at the end of the day that
was always planning to do that anyway.
So it wasn't the be all and end all to to finish it out in
Australia, but yeah it was it was a few deaths in a pretty
quick succession was was definitely shocking.

(11:44):
Yeah man, that's all. And it's it's such an
interesting contrast that there was like life and then death in
in a very short space of time and that's a lot for.
Anyone to process. I know that you know it's a lot
it was shocking you said that. But can you take me a little bit

(12:05):
deeper into that? You've you've your old man.
Who? By a lot of accounts, is someone
you really look up to your grandma?
Did she play a bit of an active role when you were younger?
Yeah, yeah. No, she was just sort of, have
you seen Figure in our family? Really.
Yeah. She And she was young like she

(12:26):
she was old, but she was a young, young at heart.
We we spent a lot of time together when we unlike holidays
and things like that were alwaysat their house when the Bush
countries South Wales in Tamworth, said South Tamworth.
So yeah, it was, it was, it was.It was definitely hard to sort
of process, I guess, for my grandmother.

(12:49):
She was old, old people do boss that's it's affect a lot so but
you had to have them all in quick succession.
Was was hard on, was out on me personally, was out on my family
and I think that's probably why I held it together a lot.

(13:10):
I hadn't really thought about when I was when my when my dad
died on my oldest four, as I said for my dad.
So I was sort of trying to you know be there for my my brothers
and my brother and my two sisters and then Nan, you know
there was lots of other family members there And so that relied

(13:33):
on each other. It's actually didn't get beat
up. Wasn't able to come back because
we were playing football at thatstage.
But then when my dog, when my dog died, it was, it was pretty
much just me. It was It was me and my I was
made and my wife. I think that might have been
why? Because it's the first time you
were allowed to feel it. Yeah, exactly.

(13:54):
Like it was the first time whereI didn't have to, Wasn't really
trying to be supportive to anyone else.
That was just took it all in andI think maybe that at that stage
a lot of the other emotions from, yeah, from the other other
two. Finally able to let out through

(14:15):
that. Yeah, yeah, I think that's.
I think that's what happens. And as someone like.
When I think of Greg Bird, I think of.
A fucking unit strutting down the field, taking no prisoners
but. You know, I, as I've gotten to
know you a little bit and I'm lucky enough to get to know you

(14:36):
more, Now there's. You know, pretty self taught
underneath there. I don't mean to to take away
from the bad boy image that you've done so hard and create.
But I mean, like when you had that moment and you can you be
honest with me and tell me like,how does that play out?
Your dogs died. Your old man's died.
Your Nans died. What's the real Greg Bird

(14:58):
feeling at that? At that moment?
I was. I was just like, anything great.
Yeah. Yeah, Angry and hang out.
I like my first thing. I blame my wife for not letting
me bring the dog to friends. So, projection.
Outrage Exactly. Which was stupid, because we

(15:19):
couldn't. And I was just looking for an
outlet. Really.
Yeah. Look for someone to blame.
Yeah. Blame my mom, because the dog
was in my mom's care, like everyone at that moment he
looked like and think about it. It's stupid.
It's just, you know, psychological warfare they

(15:40):
applied on yourself in your headbecause as I said, it was, it
was all for me to deal with thatthat time.
Well, you need to put your pain somewhere.
And sometimes it's so fucking much.
And given the fact that you justcome off what you did, it's like
the the the cups overfilling. And you wouldn't have
intentionally tried to do so. But those who are around you and
who love you, you're almost in your own way being like, I need

(16:03):
you to hold this for me, but probably not articulating it in
that way. Some yeah, you just looking for
someone. A reason.
Yeah, purpose. A purpose.
Like a reason to be angry and beupset and you know someone's
fault, smelling fault. Do you couple those two things

(16:26):
often? I think a lot of men in myself
included, until I did a metric fuckton of therapy.
That anger and sadness would like next door neighbours for me
and sometimes I couldn't even differentiate it and I realised
that a lot of time that I was actually being angry.
I wasn't angry, I was sad and I didn't know how to express it.

(16:48):
Do you relate to that? Probably not so much that anger.
Probably sadness and passion forme.
Like, I know they seem like the opposite ends of the spectrum,
but yeah, I I find that the the things you're passionate about,
the things you really care about, When they're good,

(17:10):
they're. When they're good, they're
great. And when they're not good,
they're it's just like off the Cliff, you know?
It's like, As for me, that's sort of how I think.
I don't really get angry. I look angry on the field.
I play angry. I used to play angry, but yeah,
I'm not really the type of person to to get overly angry.

(17:34):
That's just that's more just an image.
Yeah, when I'm around, you have a very calm demeanour.
Yeah, like you're you're you're an approachable person.
And again, not to ruin the bad boy image, but a kind person.
Yeah, and so like thinking aboutthe footy field and just kind of
pulling on the thread around like emotion.

(17:55):
Maybe what people were seeing asanger was actually passion.
That's the way I see it. Yeah, Intent.
Passion, competitiveness. Yeah, I just wanted to win,
basically. I guess when someone's got that
sort of attitude that they'll doanything it takes to win

(18:17):
probably comes across pretty, pretty forceful and maybe a
little bit angry. But yeah, I'm not.
I wouldn't think I'm an angry person.
Has that want to win always beenpart of who you are?
Yeah. Do you remember your earliest
memory where you're like, I fucking love winning?
Yeah, it's all about winning time.

(18:40):
When I was playing cricket in the backyard when I was four
years old, I went, you're playing Monopoly with the family
and someone's cheating and you have applied the table like it's
it's we know, it's weird, known or nothing really for me.
Where do you think that comes from?
I don't know. I don't know because my dad
doesn't seem to be like that. Never seen me like that.

(19:01):
He's always really calm and calming influence, you know?
I'm sure he was competitive his own right, But I never really
saw that. Yeah man, we got no idea.
I've got uncles who pretty competitive on my mother's side,
but the other night it's it's something that's frustrating

(19:23):
because by now we're talking about daughters, kids, you sort
of got to take the tone it down a little bit, trying to blitz
them on board games and things like that, all the.
Time. Well, I think as well, cause
you're a big dude. I would imagine that it's quite
easy for the little girls to getintimidated like your daughters

(19:46):
because dad's a big guy. So does that ever come into the
fold? I don't think they see me that
way. They see you as a teddy bear.
Teddy bear, Yeah, they can do whatever they want.
Yeah, my my oldest is a little bit more cluey.
My youngest is fearless, so there's no way I can.

(20:10):
Intimidate or anything. She's.
Fearless. That's a word that feels right.
Passionate feels right, but fearless feels even more so.
Like when I when I think about the way that like you would run
into tackles is maybe the way that you've approached your
career and that never say die attitude, it's like it's almost
as if you're not scared of any. Of the bad outcomes.

(20:34):
I don't know if it's because youhaven't thought about them or
whether you're just at peace with.
Bad shit happening like before we got on air.
You're like, you know, I had thethroat accident, but you know
there's bad shit happens to rugby players and it's like when
you start something you're already at peace with what?
What could go wrong? Yeah, I I enjoy it.

(20:58):
I'll take the good with the bad and like winning for good, like
NRL's great. Been able to do what I did for
18 years at the top level, you know, play Rep footy and all
this and that. That's amazing.
I'm very lucky and very fortunate.
Obviously there's always going to be some negatives that come
into it and you know, for me it's hard to say you regret

(21:19):
things. Obviously I regret some of the
probably the off the field things, but when it comes to the
paddock there's nothing, there'snothing really.
I look back and and regret the decision that I made, because
the decision I made would have been to to try to do whatever
took the win. It wouldn't have been a self
decision. It would have been second

(21:42):
guessing that decision. That was bill wise.
If it comes off it comes off it doesn't.
I'll take the hit, I'll talk a few hits.
Coaches over the years when something I tried, something I
saw didn't come off, but that's,that's life, that's.
What is losing mean to you? When you think about losing,
what comes up? I don't know.

(22:03):
It's it's not, I don't know it'sit's hard it's hard to really
even think about to really talk articulate what what losing
means. Non negotiable.
Really didn't want to do it. Yeah, it's not about dominating
people or I just like to win. I get frustrated when people

(22:27):
win. Beat me in, you know, the people
who layer up and and talk and all that.
I never did that. I still don't do that and play
board games or you know that when we kick a soccer ball or
and do that when you have less human race or anything.
Like it's not something. So when that I don't know.

(22:48):
Just not losing, not failing. And I was the same with
education as well. I whatever thing to make sure a
little bit of the perfectionist when it come to that sort of
stuff. It wasn't nothing was really off
off so it was sort of it was on a song it was doing and essay

(23:09):
was was doing my maths was you know committing to the work and
making sure I did all the preparation and go out and 100%.
So do not fail to not lose to anextent, but.
So do you think this might seem like the same thing?
But I'm interested? Do you think it's you love
winning or you hate losing? Which one?

(23:30):
I think I losing. Yeah, I think that's probably
it. No.
Yeah. Listen, I think Liz is fun for
anyone. No, for me, I I think people
normalise, losing now a little bit.
The world's gotten a little bit too PC when it comes to, you

(23:50):
know, things are supposed to be fun and you know, we need to
give achievement awards to everybody and no first and 2nd
and 3rd place. I just don't believe that.
I know there's a lot of, you know, psychologists and theories
to to base where they're puttingthat through schools now and
things like that. But for me to to achieve the
most in the world, to achieve the most is his grades, his

(24:14):
grades. You do studies.
There's grades. When you get 100 and you have 90
at ABC, however you want to score.
In sports, it's the same as winners and losers, and
hopefully you can teach people to try to if they don't win.
I'll teach my daughter all the time.
When she doesn't win, what are you going to do?

(24:34):
So don't want to work harder andthat was what I did and that's I
think that when you take the competition away, there's
nothing to work harder for. So I think people should always
be trying to work harder. Um, you know this is the place
of Billy Slater and the why thattalk.

(24:55):
And you know he's top of his game and he was at the top of
his game and playing fullback. QLD, Australia, Melbourne and he
he just said real, always work, trying to train, to work harder,
to be better. He was the best.
Um, you know, I was always the same.
Nobody's level, Never. He's skill level in the sense of

(25:16):
what he could do in a game. I was just trying to break me
up. Different positions, different
position. Yeah, he's fast and and skillful
and on bit of everything. Yeah, yeah, utility.
Usually when someone has a like,repeated partner behaviour.
And I'm just picking up on the perfectionism thing.

(25:39):
That could be taken as a negative word.
Let's just say like strong work ethic.
Usually when that happens, you say it somewhere else first.
Do you know where you picked that up?
Somewhere in your family? Was it your friends?
Yeah, that's funny. I don't know, like my mom has
from work ethic. My mum, I'm pretty much

(26:00):
supported our whole family from when found out on accident when
he was younger, so he was on a pension.
So we sort of you know, we got everything we needed but he
couldn't work. We got everything we needed from
our moms job and I'm sure in relative terms she wasn't on

(26:20):
massive money. But we grew up with four kids
and beautiful house and we got everything we wanted.
We played all the sport. We never were without anything.
She's a superhero. Yeah, so probably.
Wow, Probably my mom beat the work ethics.
All of that's something that youdon't think about for me, like

(26:42):
when you asked me that, I was like trying to play it in your
mind. We where maybe you come from run
through some areas. In the end, people who really
love but you don't really acknowledge it as much as you
probably should. So maybe.
You you might as you age more so, but at the time it was

(27:02):
probably pretty significant to you that you're looking at a mum
who's like. Constantly giving her all in
order to provide and protect anddo her bit.
That has become part of who you are, I think so.
I think well that's you go back to being a parent at the start
of the start of the conversationyou sort of you pick up things

(27:25):
and you you try to put down things to to your siblings that
they're gonna be able to then pass on and that's something I
guess is passed on through Maine.
Hopefully we can keep this. So it's some of the positive
things that go in that we we sort of having our lives going
through this generation. Was raised by a single mom for

(27:48):
up until I was probably 8 and. I know for sure that a huge part
of who I am is because of watching her like similar work
ethic to to your mum. Just never say die attitude went
from a horse riding instructor as as you heard from my talk
into IT, sales and everything. And but it's funny, I I forgot

(28:12):
something. She told me a lot recently until
someone asked me what to quote. Your mum used to tell you a lot.
And I'm like, fuck, that wasn't very healthy, she used to say.
Like near enough is never, ever good enough.
And you could also argue that it's healthy we we got back to
talk to the the about achievement awards and winning

(28:33):
and losing that that's that's that resonates from yeah that's
good because you're not trying to get close to something you're
trying to get what you. Want.
Yeah. And so I think it's.
The reason may be in as I'm reflecting real time, the reason
why I said it's not healthy is actually just because I already
knew that internally. If I were someone who was a

(28:55):
slacker and lazy and blah blah blah, I think a good kick up the
arse or something like that could be good.
But I felt as though I was already driving myself to just
like perfectionist tendencies. And then those comments
sometimes would make me feel like, well, when the fuck is
enough, but in retrospect, now being able to create charities
and work for Microsoft. That is because she brought me

(29:16):
up that way and she also had a very good tendency, awareness of
knowing. She'll drive, drive, drive, and
then went to be nurturing and like soft, and at the end of the
day I could always know that I could count on her for a hug or
some reassurance. But it sounds like we both had
mothers that could see our potential before we could and

(29:39):
instil the value of, like, keep fucking pushing.
Yeah, my my dad was. He was very respectful.
He's all about and respectful. I guess my mom was was the the,
the worker she provided and did that side of it.
I think I had a pretty good balance.

(30:00):
You talk dysfunction when you'rea kid, and I'll speak to my
brother and sisters and their opinion of what our family was,
'cause I was the oldest and I saw it, seen it for longer, was
like, there's a lot different. In what way, dear?
I just think, I think the younger years really shape you.

(30:20):
Yeah, for sure. Yeah.
So from when I was say 3:00 to 12:00, our family was was great,
but there was no my dad wasn't really drinking at that stage.
It didn't. I don't, I don't have memories
of any deterioration of of the fabric of our family.

(30:44):
But it was sort of after that and it might have been when my
sisters were in that 5 to 12 range range and that's why their
opinion of yeah, it was, it was difficult.
I didn't like a super negative way.
No, no, I'm caring way. It was more just our parents.
Maybe they saw less stability. Yeah, that that's it.

(31:08):
Yeah. Bility sort of things.
Do you know and as always Greg, like let me know if any of it's
like, no, don't go there. And I'm not necessarily
interested in the details, but more just your perspective on
mental health. Do you know why I just lost an

(31:28):
uncle who died because of? Liver cancer because he was an
alcoholic. And I watched him over the years
and. I know why he turned to the the
drink. Do you know why your dad turned
to the drink? Well, that was mine.
Physical or mental? Physical.
OK, in a motorbike accident whenhe was 19, a car went through a

(31:54):
store stops on hitting monies. Rodney's right about come from
work and it combusted on impact.So I think it was something 80%
of his body was burnt and scarred his face.
He's in and out of hospital and his skin grafts and bone getting
pins and stuff in both both of his famous so for about 18

(32:18):
months. So yeah, it was so over at the
start and I think as his body was getting older he was getting
sorer. I used to drink and then took
rid of the, took the edge off and like like everyone I guess
in that in that circumstance andthose those situations just

(32:38):
becomes a habit. It becomes a habit.
He moved up to Tamworth. Where is great now?
Little towns, I'll tell them I was in Sydney and he was just
doing what he was doing everyday.
I didn't. As I said, he wasn't working, so
he said it went into a bit of a spiral.

(33:01):
Hmm, there's such a big link between physical pain and and
mental health because like if ifwestern medicine can't treat it,
then you go to your own medicineand often that's.
Not a great path, you know, drugs, alcohol, etcetera.
And. But I I couldn't imagine being

(33:22):
in that much pain all day and just like you, earning for some
type of relief. Did he ever?
When, when, when? Stuff like that.
Nowhere near as acute. Happens to me, I get angry at
the world because I'm like, why me?
Did he ever do like a why me? Why did I get hit by a car?
Never. No, never.

(33:43):
I never judged anyone for judging him, which is?
Her looking different? Yeah, because he did.
Look, different People say like you look like Freddy, Freddy
Krueger. Just have a big group behind
these stand out 'cause he was reasonably tall and without
their bad scar on his face, and I used to get angry.

(34:08):
Like defensive for on his behalf.
Yeah. But he never did.
Wow. He never did.
He never. I don't think you got another
blame. I never hear, hear or hear him.
Heard him blame anybody. I've never heard him.
They talk about what is for OHS,making excuses about anything

(34:31):
that he missed out on. It was just that was him and I
don't, yeah, it's it's pretty, he was pretty strong in that
sense, that. It's so easy to become a victim
to the situation in times like that.
There, that is. There's so many.
You see, You see people that allthe time, the right leg world,

(34:52):
it's people get injured and thenyou some.
You see the people sometimes you're the worst injuries that
that aren't spiteful or angry and it's it's a definitely it's
definitely UH I guess it's toughperson personality to be able to

(35:15):
to be that way. Well, I just told you about my
dog died, so I was blaming everyman, everyone I could find.
But yeah, it's um, I think they're pretty tough people that
they'd have to live. Live, you know, with talk about
Alex McKinnon. We spoke about it before like

(35:35):
injuries and outspoken Alex A. Buttons and he's is one of these
very positive and it's an awful situation.
Yeah. I don't.
I don't. I couldn't.
I couldn't say how I'd feel if Iwas either.
Please. It's horrible that that happens
to anyone, really. Yeah, yeah, it's it's funny how

(35:58):
life has a way of of handing some serious shit to, I think
the most shit to the people who can handle it best.
I'd like to believe anyway. Uh, now mental health, whether
we call it that term or not, like.
Yeah. I'll ask it as simple as

(36:20):
possible, and then we can weave our way around it.
Do you think you've ever experienced a mental health
issue like depression or anxiety?
Yeah, yeah, definitely. You talk about either.
You talk about my motherfucking the doctors and they've
suspected that maybe part of bipolar and things like that.

(36:40):
And because the laws are high and you enjoy it and you happy
and it's just enjoying. You play a game and you got for
a drink and everyone's, you know, you know, real jovial
mood. But the lows are really low and
when the football stops and all you have, you don't have those
high highs. The low lows seem so much worse.

(37:04):
Yeah, you definitely had times. Most of it.
Most of it revolves. I Spent Revolved around times
and I wasn't doing that for wentout football.
I felt like I was OK. I was balanced, yeah.
The times when football wasn't around service suspensions or

(37:27):
retirement, things like that, I think that's when my lows seemed
like that was all there were because I just related so much
my my highest to to what I've known in my life is playing
footy. Identity as well, yeah.
Can you tell me what? What does some of those lows

(37:51):
look like? How do you know you're in a low?
What behaviours or feelings comeup?
I think it's withdrawn, completely withdrawn.
Pull away from people, from everybody.
Um, your mother. I'm not great at it, you know, I
told told as a coach now and trying to talk to people about

(38:12):
how they're feeling. And I I've even for me friends
and family and try to be there for everyone and discuss things
and call them, but I don't wannatalk to anyone when I'm upset
and you don't say that. When you actually saying hearing
how you feeling, you don't say that at the time.

(38:33):
Yeah, when you went on down, I'mpretty touch up in my car and
drive and park somewhere. And then what?
Just think. About getting out of that pain.
What? What's gonna take to stop it?
Where do those thoughts go? Have you ever thought about

(38:56):
ending it? Yeah, I've thought about it, but
never thought about actually doing.
It it's more like a fleeting fancy that's just like talking
about how we gonna stop this. Well, that's that's one way to
stop it. But I never actually thought
about going ahead with somethinglike that.
But yeah, it was just, yeah, it's it's funny it when you, you

(39:19):
know, I've heard you speak. When you're down in the hole,
you just want to get out of the hole.
Um. And sometimes it's a process,
sometimes it's long it's not. Pretty much all all the time.
Every time it's long, it's not, it's not a click the fingers,
but when he had bought that, youwish you could just click
fingers. Yeah, well.

(39:42):
Um. And I know that it might seem
like a morbid question to ask and push on, but I just think
it's really relatable. That if people see themselves in
you it's it's gonna go a long way.
You withdrawing that sometimes means getting in the car,
driving, having some thinking time.
What are some of the thoughts that come up that when you're

(40:03):
when you're really low, is it like self sabotaging?
So loneliness, Loneliness is probably a big one, because I
don't want to ring anyone. I don't want to burden anyone.
Sometimes I wish I could ring someone and if I rang him, I
don't know what I'd say. And then coming back, you talk

(40:25):
about your strong identity and image and things like that.
I'm going to be a pussy. Hmm.
I don't wanna, like, be crying to someone who is not, but do
you believe that? Do you like?
OK, let me ask this another way.Yeah.
If your mate came to you and said that's, that's what I mean.

(40:48):
But you wouldn't say there was apussy.
Wow. Like it's my life.
Like if if if someone's upset, I'll sit literally sit with them
and and get him to spit everything out and talk talk it
out. But for me, I would never let
anyone do that tonight. And when you're on the other,
when the shoes on the other foot, you die.
It doesn't even come into your mind that you wouldn't be that

(41:09):
way if you were completely upset.
Yeah, it's it's that's really strange.
You'll have actually thought about this until you ask.
Me. It's funny if you knew Insight
today. Greggy questions.
It's good. Yeah, it's good.
You know, it's it's all about dance.
You know, like you know being just been getting caught up in

(41:33):
legal issues and get stood down from teams and the.
Let's go to her. That's not a dog.
That's the most for me. You know that was and knocked me
about, you know when had issues in Sydney, pretty much locked

(41:54):
myself inside for about a month.Wow, I didn't leave.
It was like cameras sitting out outside my house and like they
were taking photos of me if I went to the window, look through
the crack and in the blondes. So I was like, yeah, I don't
know, would be a month, money, six weeks, but yeah, it's.

(42:16):
What happens in that house when you just buy yourself in your
thoughts with fucking cameras everywhere you wanna go?
Mental. Yeah, I'd I'd like watching
movies. Thank God and really drifting
away, drifting out of my. So yeah, escaping, escaping my
thoughts. So yeah, movies are a good one

(42:37):
for me, but there's not much else to do in here.
In an apartment on your own, I'dguitar rather than.
Yeah, really good guitar. So bad.
But yeah, it's it's a lot of thethe tough times and I guess the
big one. I don't see, like fans don't see
that. No fans don't see what it means

(42:59):
to a player. I like some people.
Maybe they don't care. I don't care if you win or lose.
You know, I didn't care if we lost.
So I was always trying to win. And then when it didn't happen
and I just stood down or something like that, it was
everyone's gonna opinion everyone.
So it doesn't mean you should know that I would need you

(43:20):
throwing things away. It's like so well and good and
outside but. So there's high highs in the low
lows and when the footies gone, the highs aren't there so you're
left with the lows, yeah, and. Is there?

(43:41):
Was it the camaraderie or the winning or all the above that
provided the high? I think.
I think it's probably all of theabove.
Really. Yeah, it's all of the above.
It's it's the thing. That's all you know.
It really. It's all you know.
Like I started playing footy when I was 10 or 11.

(44:05):
All I wanted to do in my life was play footy.
I had the opportunity to walk out of school straight into the
NRL. UM, and then I got to get to 30
6 and it's like now you gotta get.
Gotta figure it. Out.
Hmm. What are you gonna do now?

(44:27):
And it's not. That's not money, it's people.
It's not about like the pressureof going to get a job or OHS
been after paying for your mortgage or the put put food on
the table. It wasn't that I had money, I
invested. I did OK.

(44:49):
It was to this purpose. Fuck purpose.
And you know the you, your dad and your husband and.
He wanted something just for years.
What what you have? Yeah, you can't do it anymore
because you because you're old. But um, And you got to figure

(45:10):
out what you want, and that is all Um.
You know there's and there's like every time I talk to
players and when I was a player I thought man I hope you're I'll
be, I'll figure it out. No, Yeah it does.
It does hit you for being needs a lot of people.
If it's I assume would probably hit everybody in a in a certain

(45:33):
way. I probably didn't need me the
most until I actually left football coaching for a couple
of years and I was OK to coach Didn't really.
It's like I was still in the team.
I just wasn't playing, sitting on the bench, Um, so you get the
wins, you get the the highs, youget the camaraderie it was

(45:57):
after. That was when I come back to
Australia. Um, play a lot of golf,
camaraderie, Winnie. That's like when you know, just
like trying to figure out what you want to do.
I'm just lucky I'll find I foundsomething that took me awhile,
but I found something, found a couple of things.
Actually, yeah. What are they now for you?

(46:18):
Where's the highs? Well, I'm doing, I'm on business
development where I met you. Yeah, for a company, adults,
Connections, Origin Energy. So that's, that's good.
That's, that's my bread and butter.

(46:39):
And then that's very salesy. So you getting contracts, you
winning people over. You win, you win, you win.
And then the other side is, is my business, sort of a business
me and my cousin come up with. We found a bit of a need for it.
We shaped it sort of to be something different from

(47:01):
anything else that that's out there.
We we do our corporate furnitureremoval.
So there's a lot. I guess after COVID, there's a
lot of people who aren't aren't ever going back to officers
who's who's office hours are arebasically empty at the moment
because even massive corporations don't need the old

(47:21):
people in an office. You don't need to bring them in,
you don't need to pay the overheads to run the office.
So they're downsizing and we fair enough way where we could
come in and take the furniture, avoid landfill and to give that
furniture or the money that we made from selling that furniture
to community organisations, a lot of them predominantly

(47:43):
Indigenous. We're both, we're both
Indigenous and my cousin and andcharities and things like that.
I. Just listened.
Gives people an opportunity to get the money.
You know a lot of these places the government funded, a lot of
places given haven't given good budgets.
But they shouldn't be wasting iton furniture, wasting on desks

(48:07):
and chairs and computers. We can, we can get that.
We can get that for free and they can put all their time and
effort and and budget into, you know, helping, helping the
community, helping the people out there that can't help
themselves as much. And the name of that company so
we can plug it, Yeah, Project Net Zero.
Project NET 0. Go look it up, everyone.

(48:27):
Uh, it's good. We're working all over the
country, so on jobs in Perth, Adelaide, Sydney and Brisbane.
Yeah, it's wicked and real. Amazing concept.
Yeah. Talk about, I think people, a
lot of, a lot of organisations taking taking the piss sometimes
when you're ringing and say I'vegot fridge, markway, desks,

(48:48):
chairs, lounges, do you want them?
They're like. Yeah, yeah.
What's the catch? What's the catch?
But now it's good. It is very rewarding in that
sense, you know, to give that it's, it's good, they were safe.
But yeah, it feels pretty special when you get the chance
to. Give It's almost.
I don't know if you say it this way, but you get the the winning

(49:10):
through your sales role and yourcamaraderie through your giving
role project at 0. So you kind of taken 2 footy
needs and plugged them into yourprivate life.
Sorry your new professional lifethat's busy but it's it's good
and it's purpose. That's why I talked about.
Before do you? Does any part of you feel empty?

(49:34):
No. Oh, I wouldn't say empty.
It's obviously dies when it's not great.
There's days things you need to work on, parts of your life
where you you probably need to focus more attention on, but I
wouldn't say anything. You mentioned the.

(49:55):
You know, you don't see people who lean on you as in any way,
shape or form, less than or weak.
But your instinct when you're feeling low is to just run
1,000,000 miles away from anyoneand social interaction.
And feel weak? Yeah, that's the hypocrisy is
ridiculous. Yeah, I wanna.

(50:16):
I just want to dig a little bit.I just not to judge, but just to
know the why is it that? Because what's coming up for me
right now? I haven't thought this through
but. That has been your role in your
family system. You were the top link that was
kind of holding this, everyone together other than your
parents, like you were the oldest of your siblings.

(50:37):
Your mom was out doing her thing, your dad was coping as
best he could with his injuries,et cetera.
And so you were kind of keeping the kids on lockdown.
You didn't have time to be weak.And then the same, the story
repeats itself. When your daughter was born, dad
died, Man died, Dog died. Didn't have time to be awake.

(51:01):
It wasn't until right at the end.
But what might have happened when your dog died is after the
projection of anger, which is understandable.
Someone might have been able to be led into that window of pain,
particularly around your dog. Was that your wife?
Was she allowed in? And what's it like to be

(51:23):
vulnerable with her? Um, yeah, she's pretty tough.
She's pretty tough lady as well.Which I'm sure you respect about
her especially. Yeah, definitely.
Yeah. She's she's very independent.
She's very tough and I think sheonly gives me.

(51:45):
She only gives me this pool whenshe knows I really, really need
it. Yeah.
I don't think you'd take it if it wasn't that extreme.
Doesn't feel the need to, yeah, be super supportive on everyday
things. And she, she runs pretty, she
runs out, she tells me what to do and tells us and that keeps

(52:07):
everyone in line and keeps, keeps everything flowing.
So I think we got a good system.But yeah, she is definitely
great for me. She she makes me want to be
better. I said it in my wedding speech.
Nice. You wanna be better?
Cause it's not. It's no secret that I've I've

(52:29):
played up a few times over the years with the law and things
like that, so that's good to have.
You know someone there like that's like her that isn't
afraid to crack the whip. Keeping on the other side of the
coin, she can sort of pick me upwhen she knows she hasn't really

(52:50):
been. And is there anything that she
does? When you do need that kind of
deeper support that. Helps a lot.
Is it just a hug, or is it a reassuring word or what is it
about her? Do you think it's usually the
word spoken word is something that works for me.
Um, yeah. There's words of affirmation, as

(53:15):
they say. And so something that works good
for me. And then on the other hand,
something that was probably the worst for me when it's.
Negative. Yeah.
Yeah, Yeah. So yeah, that's she knows that.
Do you get? Do you and your wife usually if,
say for example, you're having ahard period?
And you do lean on her or open up to her, which might feel

(53:40):
uncomfortable for you at first. Do you guys get closer as a as a
result of that? I think, I think we do when we
work together or something and Ithink when you do open up, when
I do open up a little bit, it was something about a business
or something's not going to be in the business and I talked to
her about it. She's actually interested in

(54:01):
talks back and and then I feel like we're sort of, I think he
sort of bonded over your bond over finding a solution.
Yeah, she's working in the business now as well helping
out. So it's good to actually to have
the right there to I guess, so you can sharing the winds and

(54:23):
share the winds in them, you know the teamwork when it comes
to working on the tough. Stuff.
Hmm. Yeah.
Was it hard? I mean, I know the answer to
this is yes, so let let me rephrase that.
So it's not a boring, obvious, stupid question.
Like I'm sure you've got a lot in the media in the past.
Uh, being in the public eye. And shit going down.

(54:45):
Does that just pour gasoline on any existing mental health
issue? Yeah, yeah, I think it does.
Especially the way I feel. The way I feel I've dealt with
situations is not one to be around people and all they wanna
do is take care of your face, which is sort of gasoline.
Yeah, when you want to isolate. But yeah, it's hard.

(55:10):
It's hard and it's so much harder now.
Like it's 10 times harder now than it was when I was playing
the social media aspect of rugbyleague, sport or anything.
People can say whatever they want and someone like me, I used
to get upset when people said said stuff.
I, you know, I grew thick skin in the air and who didn't bother

(55:32):
me either. If someone abused me on social
media, tell them to go fuck themselves.
Everyone says don't do it, just delete it or block them.
I'm like, fuck that guy and he needs to know.
He doesn't know that I'm not hisbitch.
Yeah, can't speak to me if he spoke like that in the street.
Yeah, no punch him in the face. Yeah.
There's no way they'd say that in person.

(55:54):
But that's that's the world we live in now and it's sad that
because not everyone like me noteveryone could say fuck you
they'll they can they paint it up and and then comes out in
other ways it comes out yeah youyou better than anyone the
amount of suicide and things like that when I think when

(56:19):
people are in the meeting the social, social life especially
rugby players otherwise high andall those are low.
It's not it's never just me thatthat had those feelings on you.
I know that I'm not. I'm naive to that, but it's it's
something that I don't think thepublic understands as much.

(56:40):
I don't think they realise that that the negate the negative
comments and the harsh things out they can have on people.
Ohm yeah they're probably plays them.
They're they're men, masculine, they're strong.
Have images that they want to uphold like me.

(57:04):
Like invite me from perfect example I've wanted You don't
wanna, you know, wanna let anyone break.
Break that, break that down and and you react.
Hmm. You know, happens all the time.
People react and they're gettingfined or getting suspended or
going to court and things like that.

(57:25):
It's it's it's sad. Just on that word.
I I know it's a buzzword, but like, masculinity?
What? What does masculinity mean to
you? Like a healthy version of it.
Someone who compete hard, but also has enough self awareness
to be able to be kind to the people around you.
That's my guess about your yeah,masculinity, that's killing from

(57:51):
maze. This is just be a man like a
man. Do.
Do weights be friendly? Be healthy.
That's that's masculinity to me.It's not not be over domineering
or something like that. It's more we're being being

(58:13):
friendly, being friendly in that, in that, in that
environment that's going. It's like a band of the team.
You can't be a Dick in attempts.I was like Dicks get found out
and change pretty. Quickly.
Yeah. How can I Well, what's what?
What's your opinion on why? One man are experiencing, so I

(58:35):
can tell you from a psychology perspective.
But putting that aside, I want to know Greg's opinion on why
you think men are struggling so much with their mental health.
That's exactly that. You know, like, it's exactly
that. And it's it's the masculinity,
It's the this, the shame of being, the shame of showing
weakness for me. And that's exactly why they want

(58:58):
to talk to anyone. But always be happy to be your
shoulder. To cry for someone else.
It doesn't make any fucking sense.
But yeah, it's showing weakness.It's losing.
It's something that I guess you don't.
You don't want to let people know that you have.

(59:18):
Why do you think you were comfortable coming here today to
talk to me about some of this stuff, if you see it as weak and
losing? I don't know because I guess I'm
not in the hole at the moment. So yeah, it's easy to talk
about, but pretty past tense Then, yeah, travel wasn't all it
probably wouldn't. Be like, sorry, Mitch, sorry

(59:40):
about the rough week. Ohhhhh.
Yeah, but yeah, I don't know. It's ah, you might people talk
about all the time. I heard your story, man.
I'll. I'll it.
Really. I really enjoyed it.
You know, I think from the highest, the highest highs you

(01:00:02):
know you're making. Good money?
No over in America like major role but but to have all that
shit going on on the inside thatno one knew about it.
That's that's it. That's a world that I I wouldn't
say I was anything where you were, but I I saw bits of that,

(01:00:24):
yeah, I saw a bit of that. So when you asked me to come
down, I was like, I know that other people said this.
Well, no one's perfect. I don't know.
And again, like we say, no one wants to show weakness, no wants
to say it, but I think here in hearing weakness every now and
again makes you feel a little more comfortable in your own.

(01:00:46):
Yeah. The only thing I'll substitute
is the word weakness to realness.
OHS. Realness.
Yeah. Because waiting this, I think is
more of a subjective term. It's a choice on how you view
it, but. Right here, right now, you being
real with me doesn't feel weak. That's my personal reflection,
yeah. Yeah, I agree.
I agree. I'd be interested in asking you,

(01:01:06):
actually, as you were sitting here talking to me, do you feel
weak? Now.
That's curious. They are being real, but it
doesn't feel less than. No, definitely not.
But as I said again, when you'rein that hole, that's what you
you feel in the. Worst.
Yeah, it becomes gospel that youare weak if for feeling this in

(01:01:30):
the 1st place alone, making it someone else's problem.
Exactly doesn't make any sense. Well, I'm, I'm very appreciative
and I know many people would feel the same that you have.
Opened up a little bit and I think that's a fucking strong
thing to do. And honestly, the biggest reason

(01:01:53):
why is because we fucking need men like you coming forward and
saying this stuff, because we'relosing a shit tonne of them and.
We we want people to know that. It is fucking OK to.
Have these thoughts and to experience these lows because I
for me personally, the loneliness, the disconnection,

(01:02:14):
the shame was 10 times worse than the depression and the
anxiety and stuff, yeah. And that part is controllable by
just doing stuff like this, you know?
And loneliness. Is more than just having people
around, it's having people who understand you.
Yeah, definitely. He definitely having having that

(01:02:36):
connection, having that connection to be able to I guess
relate to someone elses feelings.
Sybil, who has felt the sinful. Do you mates check in on you?
No. No, because they know that you
wouldn't buy it, buy it, buy it on it.
Like, I've never really spoken about this.

(01:02:58):
I feel like I've legitimately don't think about this like
this, to this extent anyway. So yeah.
So they wouldn't even know there's nothing to be checked in
on. Yeah, basically.
Because if there was ever something that might alert them,
you withdraw and make sure that there's no evidence exactly.
So we're blowing your cover right now, Greg.

(01:03:20):
Probably, probably. But yeah, man, like that Mama
had to check it on me like over the years, you know, you know,
went up. When it's all over the front
page of the paper, they got pretty, pretty good idea that
I'm not going too good and my family did the same but and I I
tried checking on my mates. It's it's weird when you

(01:03:42):
finished rugby league, when you got, you got to training
together every day when you finish and you don't say anyone
at all. Same rally or occasionally it's
so easy to just get on the phoneand give me a ring, but you just
don't. Hmm.
You just don't ring people. I speak to people as much and

(01:04:04):
reach out to how you doing. Because life happens, life
happens, You got other stuff on your mind and they're not at the
forefront because you don't see them all the time.
So I think it's something that Itry to do more after I've I've
done it more over the years, ringing people 2nd place and
played with for a while. Flexible had realised good

(01:04:24):
relationships with when I playedfooty.
Skimming and say goodnight. See.
There we go. Because you know that I wanna
call you anything. I go eat outside or, you know,
basically truth is truth. Yeah.
So yeah, no one wants to be the first person to call, but
everyone enjoys giving the conversation, so sometimes that

(01:04:49):
person's gotta be me, which is what's good with me, to be
honest. What are a couple of things you
do now, Gregory? Wear you like?
Yep, I can hang my hat on. This is something that helps me
dig out of the the low holes Exercise.
I imagine exercise is good. Yeah.
Train is good, Our house good story, not healthy.

(01:05:10):
Yeah. Really short term related to
alcoholism. Good, but it's good at the top.
Hmm. Just been busy, man.
Been busy, Yeah, just putting the oil up all my time into.
Like I said, I work during the day and I sit up and do hours at

(01:05:32):
night on the computer. I'm making sure reports are done
and making sure emails are sent and all the emails have been
answered on jobs and charities and this not that we've we've
worked in between facilitated. So that that keeps me occupied.

(01:05:53):
It keeps me working towards a the Grady Gooding and keeping
now getting on the right track, yeah.
So, exercise, Purpose, work, obviously.
Family, of course. I don't think it's just work.
Say more. You gotta be doing something you
wanna do like. Like I enjoy what I'm doing now.

(01:06:18):
Yeah, I can tell we built that, like with some of the we built.
So I feel like I've got someone like smile.
It's like a child. Yep.
But you know, works now, works, not purpose.
Works. Work purpose is something that
you're passionate about. I think OHS and doing something

(01:06:42):
that's worth like works for you as well, and digging a hole.
If you're not, it's not really what you want to do when
something you don't enjoy, or probably not something that you
could class as, something that'skind of bring you up and make
you feel better about your situation.
Hi baby. Just gonna find something this

(01:07:03):
works for you, which is probablynot easy.
Yeah, it's not. I see.
I see a lot of young men, actually.
Who? I'm feeling very lost and I
think, you know, men have their best mental health when they've
got a goal and they're task orientated and we can achieve
because it makes us feel like we're protecting, providing,

(01:07:25):
adding value, which is really key to our psyche and our mental
health. But when I'm not saying that's
exclusive for for men, obviouslythat helps women too, but.
For young men. It seems to be a big thing.
There's a certain feeling of lostness that's quite pervasive,

(01:07:46):
like there's got to be more and and the emptiness that comes
from not following a purpose is usually found in drink or drugs.
There's something missing and. If you can't, my opinion is if
you can't find purpose in your work necessarily, you have to
find somewhere, whether that be in A cause that you care about,

(01:08:07):
the relationships you're invested in, and the people
you're caring for. Because very quickly.
If that hole is left unattended.It will be attended to for you
with stuff that's not good. And.
What would you say? Like, what's the message that

(01:08:28):
you could give to to younger menat the moment who are struggling
with their mental health? I don't know, man.
Doesn't need to be profound really.
I really don't know. Um, things just lean on your
mates. Are we Are we listening to this?

(01:08:49):
And I I know that. I know.
I know if I did do that it wouldbe much easier.
And I do do that. Like I have mates or like I've
got mates in. I've got mates.
I ring, yeah, but like good mates.
Like, I've got some of my best mates that I'd ring if I was
feeling shitty. They're not here.

(01:09:10):
So that's when I say withdraw, withdraw from here.
Where it would say more about they're not here, it is like in
Sydney. Ohk OK yeah.
Yeah, OK. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, in Sydney, Newcastle, Melbourne or things
like that. People that, people I can talk
to about. People have played football.

(01:09:33):
They were. I feel that I'm not in the
situations they can really relate.
Yeah, higher levels. But yeah, it's a bit different
around. Does in person chats feel like

(01:09:54):
more helpful to you than on the phone when you're in those
moments? Like on the phone?
Yeah, I prefer on the phone. I don't know whether it's
because there's no one around here that's sort of like there
are. I've got good mates here.
Of course, but you just don't wanna burden that.
I wouldn't bet on those guys. Well, I'm happy to burden my

(01:10:17):
best. Yeah.
Like I'm happy. Yeah, yeah.
And they you know, fuck that. Yeah, in the best way possible.
This is Australia. Yeah, fuck them.
Me is the biggest compliment youcan give Fucking guys.
I don't mind making putting my shit on them, but yeah, you
don't wanna, You don't wanna. Yeah, you don't have to be like

(01:10:39):
I said, like we were talking about before.
Yeah. Yeah.
Um. Met a really enjoyed this chart
and I feel yeah, honoured that. You felt comfortable enough to
want to even walk down this patha little bit, sharing some of
your story and wearing your heart on your sleeve.

(01:10:59):
In service to like this is This isn't just for you, I would say
the least for you. You probably had reservations in
doing this because there's nothing you're quote unquote
gaining. If anything, this is moving into
a situation where you might feel.
Less powerful or. Week to use your words.

(01:11:21):
But the fact that you still cameand still had a chat shows a lot
about your character in deep down, you know that this is
going to help other people. And and so thank you on behalf
of everyone that you've let us into a little window of your
life. Yeah, man, I I I give my time.
Anyway, it doesn't really botherme.
Yeah, and for someone like yourself who's who's out there

(01:11:46):
fighting the good fight and mental health and trying to help
people, happy to to to sit down with you and have chat for sure.
Thanks, Prezi. So three final questions.
What's the best piece of advice you ever been given?
It's funny one up. I can never remember when it
last asked. Um, my dad always says.

(01:12:11):
I don't know whether this is productive.
He always there's something always takes.
My has never started part but always finish and I like it.
Just never go looking for trouble.
Yeah, the that comes to you, make sure.
That you're ready for it. First of all, I love that quote
because I I agree and I live my life the same.

(01:12:33):
I wouldn't start a fight, but I would happily support my friends
if they're in one, or if someonehit on my misses or whatever.
But I just, that's the most GregBird quote ever, you know, It's
so good. Yeah.
You know deep down it has a. It has the right sentiment,

(01:12:53):
which is be kind to people but also don't be a pushover.
Yeah exactly. I try.
I wouldn't put it in those exactwords to my daughters.
Yeah, but you can't make kids bully you.
Yeah. I mean, it's like that, isn't
it? Bit of a weed, man.
If you were to have a billboard,let's say for example, above the

(01:13:14):
M5 in Sydney, and you could write one sentence on it, would
it be that sentence? Now it'll probably be a little
bit. Just be kind.
Just be kind. Yeah, 2 words.
Be kind. Nice.
Something fucking Dicks out there.

(01:13:34):
Yeah, that's just wanna like just one put shit on people.
Down tear people down and like like you get on Instagram and
you you just get on any photo get on any any photo and I've
been the comments up and go downand look at him and he's like so
much bullshit just people just right.

(01:13:56):
Everyone. Someone so many people just
abusing people for no reason. I can't.
I can't believe that the men pages where these people don't
even know these people, but they're just form an opinion and
they're just writing them off and it's like I just can't, I
just can't get involved in that.Shit, I actually can't believe
it. When I go into the comment

(01:14:17):
section I'm like you have put your name and face to this
comment. When you were writing that,
what? Like what?
How did you expect people were going to react?
Be like, oh, so true. But people have burner accounts
like you look at some of these comments and they're not even
like an account there. Nobody.
They're faceless person. Faceless, nameless piece of

(01:14:40):
shit. Just to project and make people
feel bad. There's fucking off.
Yeah, it is. Yeah.
Big Pond. Be kind.
And is there any question that you wish I'd asked and or want
to reflect on that? I didn't, No.
I think you got pretty much everything out.
I mean, you got more out of me than I thought.

(01:15:02):
It's good. So yeah, no, that's good man
100. Thanks, Greggy.
Thank you, appreciate it my friend.
Emotions have a natural tendencyto dissipate unless they get
reinforced. And so if there's more thoughts,
more stories, more intentions come along.

(01:15:24):
So the act of how am I leaving it alone Is an act of not act,
adding more stories, adding fuelto it.
So it might not go away in 2 minutes, but it begins to relax,
it dissipate. And so, rather than being the
person who has to fix it, would become the person who makes
space for the heart, the mind torelax and settle away itself.