July 23, 2024 • 17 mins
Heartbreakers we are back again with a solo episode! You’ll get Elsa all to yourself as she breaks down how men can learn empathy from a relationship training app and why for the couples out there, a monthly bedroom check-in can be the silver bullet to a better s*x life. Later, Elsa is going to help a couple out for their honeymoon and their first time ever with each other!
Do you have a burning question to ask the Heartbreakers? Call the Heartbreakers Hotline at (833) 566-5577, email us at Heartbreakers@strawhutmedia.com, or tweet us at @HBpodcastlive!
Do you have a burning question to ask the Heartbreakers? Call the Heartbreakers Hotline at (833) 566-5577, email us at Heartbreakers@strawhutmedia.com, or tweet us at @HBpodcastlive!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Straw Hut Media.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hello Heartbreakers. Today, I'm doing a solo episode. My favorite
thing to do for you guys are the solos. Like
I keep saying, we're gonna do the hot topics, We're
gonna do the questions. Maybe even you know, Ryan might
read the questions to me.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
We'll see.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
But anyways, I have one of my Hampton's outfits on,
not that you guys care. If you're watching video, this
is what I might wear. The corset's very tight. I
can barely breathe, so if I sound out of breath,
that's what's happening right now. So that's my spiel as
I'm going to the Hamptons. You know what's gonna be
fun about the Hamptons is go see my family. Like
(00:59):
I said, I then go to the Hamptons. I'm then
gonna go to New York City, like you know, Manhattan
to fly so I could get a better like direct flight,
because flying from I think it's like Long Beach or whatever,
which is the closest airport to the Hamptons. I don't
want to have to do a layover. But anyways, I
might go on a date with this guy that I've
(01:19):
been on Riyah he is an athlete, so I'm not
gonna give him any shacks just because he's good enough.
You know, they have enough sex then he's super cute.
He's a quarterback, quarterbacker, quarterback, whatever, quarterback, quarterback. Okay, yeah,
but I might flake on him too, you know how
I get Sometimes I get like overwhelmed about like the
(01:41):
athlete thing, and I'll be like, no, he doesn't know
what I've done in the past. He doesn't know what
I used to do for a living. Now that they care,
they love strippers anyways. Okay, so let's see hot topics.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
Don't say something does on the proper twas, What.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
The fuck is this piece of shit? I actually really
like this one. So there's an AI app and it
shows how bad dating is right now, and it's supposed
to help men with communicating with their girlfriends. So a
new AI powered app has been released. It's called Angry Girlfriend.
The app is designed to help users handle relationship conflicts
(02:36):
with their partners, especially girlfriends or wise, by giving them tips. Okay,
I actually I really like this. Men. I don't think
that they mean it. They don't know how to communicate.
It's hard for them. They're not taught to like release
their like feelings. Men are getting more used to that
(02:56):
these days, to like kind of like express themselves. But
it's such a new thing that I think they need help.
It's just a not a generational thing, Okay. The Angry
Girlfriend app offers up a list of different scenarios that
might you guessed it anger a girlfriend as a way
for you guys to practice various situations. While the intentions
(03:17):
are good, the app downplays the different ways that men
and women handle relationship challenges. Well, listen, let me just
rewind here. I think that this app is great. I
think that people are gonna be upset about this. I
think that there's a lot more people that are autistic
now than ever, and it's hard for those people to communicate.
(03:39):
I've been saying this for a long time. I wish
there was an app for people who have social anxiety
who want to be in relationship that it's hard for
them to go out. They're so fearful of anything that
they need to practice how to handle these situations. They
need to be able to be like, what do I
say when my girlfriend's angry? Because women will just spiral,
twist everything, make it a bigger deal than what it
(04:01):
really is. That's the truth, and men need to know
how to handle that. But the problem is is like,
what if you're in an argument with your girlfriend and
you start typing into the app what she's saying, and
in case you were a response, what they're saying is
like the downplay is that it's just people are just
reading stuff. Now, then I don't want people to go
into a thing where it's like I'm not even understanding
(04:23):
what the person's saying because now I'm just going to
type it into AI. AI is literally taking over everything,
even people's relationship arguments. They're taking over I don't know
if that's a good thing. I don't know if that's
a good trend. I do think certain men need to
use this. I wish my exes used this app, Like, seriously,
is this just babing men into not growing or understanding empathy. Yes,
(04:48):
it is, but again, they can learn from it. I
think they should use it for practice. I don't think
that they should use it for like actual arguments. I
think that if they want to practice on how to
handle I think it's great. Like I said, men are
not learned to handle arguments properly. I mean even women
need to be using this. I think I might start
using it because I don't know how to argue with somebody.
(05:08):
I'll just block them or I just won't even say anything,
and then I'll hate them and they don't understand. Like
I wish that I knew how to tell people when
I'm upset on what to say, because a lot of
times I say the wrong things and it's not what
I meant to say at all, and they'll just completely
be offensive and I'll have to sit there for weeks
and be like, what did I Why does that person
(05:30):
hate me?
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (05:31):
That was like not right of me to say. I
didn't hear it correctly. But I do think it's a
little bit babying men. I'm not gonna lie next question
or next discussion. Feeling stuck in your sex life, maybe
start having a monthly meeting about it.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
I love this.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
This is for couples. By the way, we didn't clarify.
Sex therapist Emily has been advocating for couples to have
a monthly sex meeting in her book Smart Sad. While
not the most fun topic of conversations, doctor Emily has
been encouraging people to open better lines of communications with
their partners about their sex lives once a month.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
I love this.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
I really do. People just go into sex and they
don't have any conversations before, they don't have any conversations after.
It's just like you just lay in better and then
it just starts. And then it's like what if that
person didn't like something, or what if they feel like
it's not enough, or what if they want to try
something new? And people are so shy about talking about sex.
(06:34):
I like the monthly check ins just in general with
your partner. So I love this even more that.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
It's about sex.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
It's not just about how much sex they are having,
but instead the quality of sex, what type of sex?
What type of sex do you like the most? So
it's about what type of sex? How can I improve
my sex life? What do you want to try? What
do you dislike? I like this. Like I said, people
will not like something and then they'll just get the
(07:01):
dick and then not want to deal with the person, like,
oh he's spit in my mouth. I didn't like it,
instead of just being like, hey, let me check in
with this person and see. Somebody actually did this to me.
The other day, he was texting me and he was like, like,
what do you like? And I was like oh, And
then I sat there for a while trying to text
out what I liked, and I was like it caught
me off guard a little bit, and I was like, oh, okay,
(07:23):
what do I like? It made me actually really think
about it, cause also I think that it's different which
with each person. So I might like something with one
person but not like it with the other person. So
I don't want to be like, oh, I like this,
but I'm not attracted to that person the way where
I'd be able to do that, or I'm not comfortable
with that person. Like a lot of things that I
like in sex, it's been after I've been with someone
(07:45):
for a while and it just gets better and better.
It's not like something like right away, like I'm not
somebody that right away I want to have anal, but later,
if I've been with them for like six months, I'll
definitely try to have anal. Or some people don't even
realize that that it's an option not.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
To be TMI, had you been intimate with this person before?
Had that question come out of the out of nowhere.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Yeah, I had been intimate with the person before, But
just like three times, and I also wanted to know
what he was into, because like guys will just sit
there and not say anything, but guys like freaky stuff
and they wait for the female to kind of like
either just do it and then they're just like, oh yeah,
I like that, or they wait for the female to
really say something, but they're really really shy about saying
(08:28):
whether they even like a finger in their ass, Like
men will not admit to that. Like straight men will
be like, no, I don't want to do that, but
then when you do it, like they can't, they's every
single time they want it, you know. So I feel
like you gotta be the one. I like this monthly
check it like I'm gonna steal this, even if it's
just like a situationship. I want to check in with
the people. I like this lady's book. I might read
(08:49):
it Smart Sex Doctor, Emily, Love You Doctor Emily.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Get her on the pod?
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Yeah we should. We should really try to get her
on the pod. I like that she came up with this. Also,
sometimes you need to be like I like it longer.
Sometimes people think that five minutes. I was just talking
to one of my friends. She was like, oh no,
I'm like I'm a ten minute, fifteen minute type of goal.
I personally am like an hour and a half type
of goal.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
You know, Okay? Hotline questions What should I do on
(09:37):
my wife and I's honeymoon to make sex the most
amazing time?
Speaker 4 (09:43):
Twenty four year old female and my fiancee twenty three
year old male, getting married next week and are going
on our trip for honeymoon. We're both virgins for one
reason or another, and I want to make it super special.
We haven't really talked about sex or what we like
and don't like how they prepare. What should I wear?
Please help?
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Okay, how should you prepare? Listen, it's not gonna go good.
It's not gonna be a magical moment like you think
it's gonna be. I'm just gonna tell you that right now.
Like if you guys have saved your virginity like that,
it's gonna be awkward, like everybody else loses their virginity,
doesn't matter what age. It's awkward, honestly, gonna be probably painful.
(10:25):
And the guys, your husband's gonna be nervous and not
be able to get hard. That's what's going to happen.
And I think if you wear like an outfit and
like you make it such a grand thing and you
put so much pressure on it, it's gonna make it worse.
I think that you should just get married whatever you
feel comfortable having sex with your husband. Just let it
(10:45):
be a natural thing. Like I know that you're probably
so excited. I know that you want to do it.
I mean, try to dress up if you want to,
but like would I would save that until later, until
when you need to spice things up. You guys are
so new to it, obviously you have done it. Like
it's gonna be exciting, You're gonna be nervous. The guy's
gonna struggle, because that's what guys do when they lose
(11:05):
their virginity. They either come right away or they can't
get hard because they're so nervous. So you're not gonna
go into this situation feeling like you're shooting a porno.
You're just not. I would just make it as natural
as possible. Maybe even have like a bottle of wine
before or two. Maybe not, maybe get rid of the alcohol.
I take that back, because that you don't want them
(11:26):
to have whiskey, dick, But I would have one glass
of wine each I would take a bath together, I
would give each other massages. I'd even maybe start off,
since you guys are a little bit older, like in
your twenties, I would start off with mutual masturbation, something
that you guys both know they're both comfortable with, and
(11:47):
then go into sex. That way, it's less pressure. I
would watch like each other masturbating and then start having sex.
I think that that's very special, and I mean just
you losing your virginity to that person's like special. Already
you don't get I do anything more? Okay should I
read this one?
Speaker 4 (12:03):
Sure? It's longer?
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Ah damn it?
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Oh God? Okay.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
My girlfriend has ditched me in Texas and moved back
to Italy.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
What should I do?
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Mail thirty two. I've been ditched at my extended family's
home in Austin while my I guess acts now wife
twenty four it's flying back home to Italy. I met
my Italian wife a few years ago while I was
on vacation in France. We got along amazing. We had
a close relationship, met the family and got married soon after.
(12:37):
I move a lot for work, so it's hard for
me to keep a home base. My work has left
me in Texas for a while, but I knew my
wife wanted to start a family back in Italy. Shortly
after I told her that we would have to stay
in Austin for a while and she got very cold.
A few days later, she tells me she wants a
divorce and that she's moving back to Italy for good.
(13:00):
I've been in Austin for a few weeks without a
proper place to live yet, and I have been staying
at my cousin's house and my wife has already booked
a plane ticket back kicked me out of our airbnb.
She hasn't responded to my calls and texts. I don't
know what to do. I'm scared she has already left.
That's hard, that's really hard. But the problem is is
(13:22):
that she's twenty four, and a twenty four year old
is looking for stability and like protection, and if you
don't have a stable home for a twenty four year old,
that's very scary, especially somebody coming from another country. Keep
in mind that they're going to have to try to
find a way to provide for themselves also, and that
makes it even more difficult because you have to get
(13:44):
a work, visa, like all this kind of stuff, and
if you feel like you're not being taken.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
Care of the only reason he doesn't have a home
is because they just moved there for work and he's
just staying in an airbnb while he looks for a house.
That's what I got.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
I love it. Well, See, that's scary if you're ready
to like start a family and be somewhere and you
know that someone's traveling for work. Honestly, she should have
went like over this before she got married, but she
was probably just so in love she just wanted things
to work out. But if it was me, I would
leave too. If I wanted to be with somebody and
(14:17):
I wanted to have like a stable home, and I
wanted to start a family, and I felt like this
person wasn't going to be able to do that until later,
I would not want to waste my twenties trying to
work things out with someone. I really think that she
got cold feet and that like the honeymoon stage died off.
I'm not saying that it's okay. I think that it's
(14:37):
very hurtful and it's not right. And also to ignore
your text messages and calls like once you're already married
to someone, Like I feel like in a way, you're
obligated for a little bit until the divorce is final.
And like when you're trying to figure things out to
answer someone's call, like that's again, you're dating someone that's
twenty four. Your wife has ghosted you. That's sick. It's
not right, especially when you're so stressed tr to find
(15:00):
a home and figure out your workplace. And I wonder
if he's in the military. That's what it sounds like
like Typically, like people in the military move a lot,
especially to Texas. Austin's a great city. She's missing out.
It's very fun, there's tons of stuff to do. I mean,
I guess Italy. I'm not sure we're in Italy. But
and also I have to be Devil's advocate, right, She's
(15:23):
not used to the US, so she's probably just overwhelmed
with trying to get used to a different country. She
doesn't have a husband that has a place yet. He
moves a lot. She doesn't know when she's gonna move again.
She wants to have children. It's just not the right
time for you, guys. I just file for divorce. If
she doesn't want to answer you she doesn't want to
(15:44):
answer your text messages. I just file for divorce right away.
There's a place called We the People. They'll do it
for eight hundred dollars. If you're trying to save you
can even get divorce papers online and follow them online.
You both have to sign though, and get it notarized.
But if she's gonna just ghost you, that's not your
wife anymore. She doesn't just get to pick when she
wants to be a wife or not. You're either there
(16:05):
figuring it out until the end and till death you
was part, or let's just go, like, just go back
to Italy. Then that's a huge heartbreak.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
Marriage.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Absolutely, you guys rushed into the marriage. You guys really
rushed into the marriage. You guys rushed into meeting each
other's families. You guys also met while you're on vacation.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Do not do that.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
It's not going to be a forever vacation with that person.
You try to fight and find that like vacation feeling
that you had when you first met the person, It's
very difficult. You might as well meet someone in a
horrible situation, so then when the horrible situation happens again,
you know what you're doing.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
All right.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
That's it for my solo episode. Thank you to all
of my Heartbreakers listeners. I love reading these things for
you guys. I love answering your question JS. I can't
wait to do another episode for you, so stay tuned,
Straw Hut Media.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hello Heartbreakers. Today, I'm doing a solo episode. My favorite
thing to do for you guys are the solos. Like
I keep saying, we're gonna do the hot topics, We're
gonna do the questions. Maybe even you know, Ryan might
read the questions to me.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
We'll see.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
But anyways, I have one of my Hampton's outfits on,
not that you guys care. If you're watching video, this
is what I might wear. The corset's very tight. I
can barely breathe, so if I sound out of breath,
that's what's happening right now. So that's my spiel as
I'm going to the Hamptons. You know what's gonna be
fun about the Hamptons is go see my family. Like
(00:59):
I said, I then go to the Hamptons. I'm then
gonna go to New York City, like you know, Manhattan
to fly so I could get a better like direct flight,
because flying from I think it's like Long Beach or whatever,
which is the closest airport to the Hamptons. I don't
want to have to do a layover. But anyways, I
might go on a date with this guy that I've
(01:19):
been on Riyah he is an athlete, so I'm not
gonna give him any shacks just because he's good enough.
You know, they have enough sex then he's super cute.
He's a quarterback, quarterbacker, quarterback, whatever, quarterback, quarterback. Okay, yeah,
but I might flake on him too, you know how
I get Sometimes I get like overwhelmed about like the
(01:41):
athlete thing, and I'll be like, no, he doesn't know
what I've done in the past. He doesn't know what
I used to do for a living. Now that they care,
they love strippers anyways. Okay, so let's see hot topics.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
Don't say something does on the proper twas, What.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
The fuck is this piece of shit? I actually really
like this one. So there's an AI app and it
shows how bad dating is right now, and it's supposed
to help men with communicating with their girlfriends. So a
new AI powered app has been released. It's called Angry Girlfriend.
The app is designed to help users handle relationship conflicts
(02:36):
with their partners, especially girlfriends or wise, by giving them tips. Okay,
I actually I really like this. Men. I don't think
that they mean it. They don't know how to communicate.
It's hard for them. They're not taught to like release
their like feelings. Men are getting more used to that
(02:56):
these days, to like kind of like express themselves. But
it's such a new thing that I think they need help.
It's just a not a generational thing, Okay. The Angry
Girlfriend app offers up a list of different scenarios that
might you guessed it anger a girlfriend as a way
for you guys to practice various situations. While the intentions
(03:17):
are good, the app downplays the different ways that men
and women handle relationship challenges. Well, listen, let me just
rewind here. I think that this app is great. I
think that people are gonna be upset about this. I
think that there's a lot more people that are autistic
now than ever, and it's hard for those people to communicate.
(03:39):
I've been saying this for a long time. I wish
there was an app for people who have social anxiety
who want to be in relationship that it's hard for
them to go out. They're so fearful of anything that
they need to practice how to handle these situations. They
need to be able to be like, what do I
say when my girlfriend's angry? Because women will just spiral,
twist everything, make it a bigger deal than what it
(04:01):
really is. That's the truth, and men need to know
how to handle that. But the problem is is like,
what if you're in an argument with your girlfriend and
you start typing into the app what she's saying, and
in case you were a response, what they're saying is
like the downplay is that it's just people are just
reading stuff. Now, then I don't want people to go
into a thing where it's like I'm not even understanding
(04:23):
what the person's saying because now I'm just going to
type it into AI. AI is literally taking over everything,
even people's relationship arguments. They're taking over I don't know
if that's a good thing. I don't know if that's
a good trend. I do think certain men need to
use this. I wish my exes used this app, Like, seriously,
is this just babing men into not growing or understanding empathy. Yes,
(04:48):
it is, but again, they can learn from it. I
think they should use it for practice. I don't think
that they should use it for like actual arguments. I
think that if they want to practice on how to
handle I think it's great. Like I said, men are
not learned to handle arguments properly. I mean even women
need to be using this. I think I might start
using it because I don't know how to argue with somebody.
(05:08):
I'll just block them or I just won't even say anything,
and then I'll hate them and they don't understand. Like
I wish that I knew how to tell people when
I'm upset on what to say, because a lot of
times I say the wrong things and it's not what
I meant to say at all, and they'll just completely
be offensive and I'll have to sit there for weeks
and be like, what did I Why does that person
(05:30):
hate me?
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (05:31):
That was like not right of me to say. I
didn't hear it correctly. But I do think it's a
little bit babying men. I'm not gonna lie next question
or next discussion. Feeling stuck in your sex life, maybe
start having a monthly meeting about it.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
I love this.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
This is for couples. By the way, we didn't clarify.
Sex therapist Emily has been advocating for couples to have
a monthly sex meeting in her book Smart Sad. While
not the most fun topic of conversations, doctor Emily has
been encouraging people to open better lines of communications with
their partners about their sex lives once a month.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
I love this.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
I really do. People just go into sex and they
don't have any conversations before, they don't have any conversations after.
It's just like you just lay in better and then
it just starts. And then it's like what if that
person didn't like something, or what if they feel like
it's not enough, or what if they want to try
something new? And people are so shy about talking about sex.
(06:34):
I like the monthly check ins just in general with
your partner. So I love this even more that.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
It's about sex.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
It's not just about how much sex they are having,
but instead the quality of sex, what type of sex?
What type of sex do you like the most? So
it's about what type of sex? How can I improve
my sex life? What do you want to try? What
do you dislike? I like this. Like I said, people
will not like something and then they'll just get the
(07:01):
dick and then not want to deal with the person, like,
oh he's spit in my mouth. I didn't like it,
instead of just being like, hey, let me check in
with this person and see. Somebody actually did this to me.
The other day, he was texting me and he was like, like,
what do you like? And I was like oh, And
then I sat there for a while trying to text
out what I liked, and I was like it caught
me off guard a little bit, and I was like, oh, okay,
(07:23):
what do I like? It made me actually really think
about it, cause also I think that it's different which
with each person. So I might like something with one
person but not like it with the other person. So
I don't want to be like, oh, I like this,
but I'm not attracted to that person the way where
I'd be able to do that, or I'm not comfortable
with that person. Like a lot of things that I
like in sex, it's been after I've been with someone
(07:45):
for a while and it just gets better and better.
It's not like something like right away, like I'm not
somebody that right away I want to have anal, but later,
if I've been with them for like six months, I'll
definitely try to have anal. Or some people don't even
realize that that it's an option not.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
To be TMI, had you been intimate with this person before?
Had that question come out of the out of nowhere.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Yeah, I had been intimate with the person before, But
just like three times, and I also wanted to know
what he was into, because like guys will just sit
there and not say anything, but guys like freaky stuff
and they wait for the female to kind of like
either just do it and then they're just like, oh yeah,
I like that, or they wait for the female to
really say something, but they're really really shy about saying
(08:28):
whether they even like a finger in their ass, Like
men will not admit to that. Like straight men will
be like, no, I don't want to do that, but
then when you do it, like they can't, they's every
single time they want it, you know. So I feel
like you gotta be the one. I like this monthly
check it like I'm gonna steal this, even if it's
just like a situationship. I want to check in with
the people. I like this lady's book. I might read
(08:49):
it Smart Sex Doctor, Emily, Love You Doctor Emily.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Get her on the pod?
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Yeah we should. We should really try to get her
on the pod. I like that she came up with this. Also,
sometimes you need to be like I like it longer.
Sometimes people think that five minutes. I was just talking
to one of my friends. She was like, oh no,
I'm like I'm a ten minute, fifteen minute type of goal.
I personally am like an hour and a half type
of goal.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
You know, Okay? Hotline questions What should I do on
(09:37):
my wife and I's honeymoon to make sex the most
amazing time?
Speaker 4 (09:43):
Twenty four year old female and my fiancee twenty three
year old male, getting married next week and are going
on our trip for honeymoon. We're both virgins for one
reason or another, and I want to make it super special.
We haven't really talked about sex or what we like
and don't like how they prepare. What should I wear?
Please help?
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Okay, how should you prepare? Listen, it's not gonna go good.
It's not gonna be a magical moment like you think
it's gonna be. I'm just gonna tell you that right now.
Like if you guys have saved your virginity like that,
it's gonna be awkward, like everybody else loses their virginity,
doesn't matter what age. It's awkward, honestly, gonna be probably painful.
(10:25):
And the guys, your husband's gonna be nervous and not
be able to get hard. That's what's going to happen.
And I think if you wear like an outfit and
like you make it such a grand thing and you
put so much pressure on it, it's gonna make it worse.
I think that you should just get married whatever you
feel comfortable having sex with your husband. Just let it
(10:45):
be a natural thing. Like I know that you're probably
so excited. I know that you want to do it.
I mean, try to dress up if you want to,
but like would I would save that until later, until
when you need to spice things up. You guys are
so new to it, obviously you have done it. Like
it's gonna be exciting, You're gonna be nervous. The guy's
gonna struggle, because that's what guys do when they lose
(11:05):
their virginity. They either come right away or they can't
get hard because they're so nervous. So you're not gonna
go into this situation feeling like you're shooting a porno.
You're just not. I would just make it as natural
as possible. Maybe even have like a bottle of wine
before or two. Maybe not, maybe get rid of the alcohol.
I take that back, because that you don't want them
(11:26):
to have whiskey, dick, But I would have one glass
of wine each I would take a bath together, I
would give each other massages. I'd even maybe start off,
since you guys are a little bit older, like in
your twenties, I would start off with mutual masturbation, something
that you guys both know they're both comfortable with, and
(11:47):
then go into sex. That way, it's less pressure. I
would watch like each other masturbating and then start having sex.
I think that that's very special, and I mean just
you losing your virginity to that person's like special. Already
you don't get I do anything more? Okay should I
read this one?
Speaker 4 (12:03):
Sure? It's longer?
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Ah damn it?
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Oh God? Okay.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
My girlfriend has ditched me in Texas and moved back
to Italy.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
What should I do?
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Mail thirty two. I've been ditched at my extended family's
home in Austin while my I guess acts now wife
twenty four it's flying back home to Italy. I met
my Italian wife a few years ago while I was
on vacation in France. We got along amazing. We had
a close relationship, met the family and got married soon after.
(12:37):
I move a lot for work, so it's hard for
me to keep a home base. My work has left
me in Texas for a while, but I knew my
wife wanted to start a family back in Italy. Shortly
after I told her that we would have to stay
in Austin for a while and she got very cold.
A few days later, she tells me she wants a
divorce and that she's moving back to Italy for good.
(13:00):
I've been in Austin for a few weeks without a
proper place to live yet, and I have been staying
at my cousin's house and my wife has already booked
a plane ticket back kicked me out of our airbnb.
She hasn't responded to my calls and texts. I don't
know what to do. I'm scared she has already left.
That's hard, that's really hard. But the problem is is
(13:22):
that she's twenty four, and a twenty four year old
is looking for stability and like protection, and if you
don't have a stable home for a twenty four year old,
that's very scary, especially somebody coming from another country. Keep
in mind that they're going to have to try to
find a way to provide for themselves also, and that
makes it even more difficult because you have to get
(13:44):
a work, visa, like all this kind of stuff, and
if you feel like you're not being taken.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
Care of the only reason he doesn't have a home
is because they just moved there for work and he's
just staying in an airbnb while he looks for a house.
That's what I got.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
I love it. Well, See, that's scary if you're ready
to like start a family and be somewhere and you
know that someone's traveling for work. Honestly, she should have
went like over this before she got married, but she
was probably just so in love she just wanted things
to work out. But if it was me, I would
leave too. If I wanted to be with somebody and
(14:17):
I wanted to have like a stable home, and I
wanted to start a family, and I felt like this
person wasn't going to be able to do that until later,
I would not want to waste my twenties trying to
work things out with someone. I really think that she
got cold feet and that like the honeymoon stage died off.
I'm not saying that it's okay. I think that it's
(14:37):
very hurtful and it's not right. And also to ignore
your text messages and calls like once you're already married
to someone, Like I feel like in a way, you're
obligated for a little bit until the divorce is final.
And like when you're trying to figure things out to
answer someone's call, like that's again, you're dating someone that's
twenty four. Your wife has ghosted you. That's sick. It's
not right, especially when you're so stressed tr to find
(15:00):
a home and figure out your workplace. And I wonder
if he's in the military. That's what it sounds like
like Typically, like people in the military move a lot,
especially to Texas. Austin's a great city. She's missing out.
It's very fun, there's tons of stuff to do. I mean,
I guess Italy. I'm not sure we're in Italy. But
and also I have to be Devil's advocate, right, She's
(15:23):
not used to the US, so she's probably just overwhelmed
with trying to get used to a different country. She
doesn't have a husband that has a place yet. He
moves a lot. She doesn't know when she's gonna move again.
She wants to have children. It's just not the right
time for you, guys. I just file for divorce. If
she doesn't want to answer you she doesn't want to
(15:44):
answer your text messages. I just file for divorce right away.
There's a place called We the People. They'll do it
for eight hundred dollars. If you're trying to save you
can even get divorce papers online and follow them online.
You both have to sign though, and get it notarized.
But if she's gonna just ghost you, that's not your
wife anymore. She doesn't just get to pick when she
wants to be a wife or not. You're either there
(16:05):
figuring it out until the end and till death you
was part, or let's just go, like, just go back
to Italy. Then that's a huge heartbreak.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
Marriage.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Absolutely, you guys rushed into the marriage. You guys really
rushed into the marriage. You guys rushed into meeting each
other's families. You guys also met while you're on vacation.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Do not do that.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
It's not going to be a forever vacation with that person.
You try to fight and find that like vacation feeling
that you had when you first met the person, It's
very difficult. You might as well meet someone in a
horrible situation, so then when the horrible situation happens again,
you know what you're doing.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
All right.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
That's it for my solo episode. Thank you to all
of my Heartbreakers listeners. I love reading these things for
you guys. I love answering your question JS. I can't
wait to do another episode for you, so stay tuned,
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