June 11, 2024 • 18 mins
Hey Heartbreakers! It’s just Elsa today as she sits down to answer your burning questions. Normally on Heartbreakers, we only answer a few questions but this episode is just for you lovely listeners!
Do you have a burning question to ask the Heartbreakers that we didn’t get to? Call the Heartbreakers Hotline at (833) 566-5577, email us at Heartbreakers@strawhutmedia.com, or tweet us at @HBpodcastlive!
Do you have a burning question to ask the Heartbreakers that we didn’t get to? Call the Heartbreakers Hotline at (833) 566-5577, email us at Heartbreakers@strawhutmedia.com, or tweet us at @HBpodcastlive!
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Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
Straw Media. Hey guys, it'sme Sapphire on Heartbreakers. Of course I'm
(00:24):
gonna be answering some questions for youguys, for men and women, what
they're most afraid to ask. Iwanted to dedicate this episode to just every
question that you guys always try toask. I know I always just answer
like one or two, but thisis your episode where you get most of
your questions, if not all answered. I asked this on my social media
(00:46):
and this is like the top onesthat were most asked, and it's what
is something that you're too afraid toask your partner about? And one of
them is what does their partner reallyexpect from them emotionally and physically in their
relationship? Are they meeting those expectationspersonally? For me, I think that
you just need to straight up askyour partner what they want from you emotionally,
(01:07):
and you need to also be transparenton what you need emotionally to tell
them. It needs to be acalm conversation. I personally think that you
don't need to be bringing up toomuch of a past relationship because once one
thing is done, it's done.And then honestly, for physically and a
relationship. I think that needs tobe your guys' first conversation from the very
beginning, because there's people that areokay with having sex once a month,
(01:32):
twice a month, every day ofthe week. But if you're not aligned
in that way, I don't seepersonally a relationship even going any further.
If you guys are just off onthat, you guys got to have that
conversation from the very beginning. Ifyou're a horny person and your partner's not,
that's cool, but it just isnever gonna work. You'll get bored
(01:53):
if you're someone that's you know,wants sex all the time, and honestly,
if the person isn't as sexual asyou, they'll almost of be,
like I want to say, scaredin a way. It doesn't allow them
to open up even more to youphysically, and same with emotionally. I
feel like it goes hand in hand. If you're someone that talks a lot
and tells your feelings how it isand your partner's more reserved, you got
(02:15):
to try to get that person toopen up, but without any pressure.
You guys got to not have anypressure on your relationships. I know that
I have complications with opening up topeople. I'm very shut off. That's
something that I'm really working on.It's affected my relationships in the past where
I'm just upset I don't tell them, and then they don't know, and
(02:37):
then they can't fix it. Ifyou don't tell someone what's wrong, it's
they're unable to fix it. Howcan you tell a girl is single and
emotionally available for a relationship? Thatis very hard, guys, because it's
up to that person one to behonest if they're single, and we all
know how it goes these days wherepeople just don't want to be honest about
(02:59):
that. If that's on that personfor not telling you that they're single,
that's between them and whoever that personis that they're in a relationship with.
But if that person really isn't singleand they're telling you that they're not single,
I say stay far away from it. I have learned just from the
past that it does come with reallybad karma if you're actively messing around with
(03:23):
someone who isn't single. For me, like I before I was in committed,
committed relationships, you guys all knowthat I honestly had no problem messing
with married guys. But then whenI got into a relationship where I was
really in love and I really wantedthe person, it hurt me so bad
that they cheated on me. Imean it was still to this day,
I'm freaking traumatized from it. Andif someone's emotionally available, man, I
(03:47):
feel like you know when someone's emotionallyavailable when they're literally telling you their emotions
and when they're ready to actually tellyou exactly what they want. If someone
comes to you when they say like, I'm ready for this relationship right now,
it's when someone kind of dances aroundyour questions. I don't feel like
they're emotionally available, and if theyshow any type of lack of maturity,
(04:10):
for sure, hands down not emotionallyavailable. I'm super curious about non monogamous
relationships and polyamorous relationships. Can itwork? Can it be done without hurting
your self worth or being self destruction? Well, it's one thing if you're
just both sleeping around with multiple peopleand you guys come home to each other,
(04:31):
and people always say like, oh, it's okay if my partner goes
out and does this and that,as long as they come home to me.
I personally feel like that does hurtyour self worth. I'm not gonna
lie. It does lower your value, and I know a lot of people
are gonna really argue that. Andthat's just through my experiences. I feel
(04:51):
like if that's the relationship you're headingtowards, which is non monogamous, it
needs to be both ways. Andalso when you're in and say, you
know you're dating a couple, soit's like a married couple and then you're
added into the relationship, I actuallythink that's great. I think that if
you're someone that has a lot goingon in your life but you want intimacy
and you want to feel like desiredby people, it could feel very good,
(05:15):
but you have to be very carefulof feeling like you're their accessory,
like you're just at their disposal,and you got to put up clear boundaries.
You got to make sure things arenot one sided, because it really
does affect how you view yourself.Even if you're having fun, you're the
girlfriend of a married couple. LikeI said, I've done it. I
had a great time, but Ididn't like feeling like I was their accessory
(05:38):
and they could just call me whenever. But then I couldn't go out and
do what I wanted or if Iwanted to get married or something like that.
How does that work in with thecouple that I'm already dating. I
say, don't do it. Butif you're into that and you're into couples,
it could be very hot. Itcould be very pleasing. It could
Yeah. I mean, I didit for almost three months. It was
(06:00):
a great experience, and I knewthat I didn't want to do it again,
but I'm very thankful that I didit. It'd be good too,
if you were like a sugar babyto a couple. I'm not gonna lie.
That could really work well. Whois out of your league? I'm
guessing this person is asking how doyou figure if some figure out if someone's
out of your league. I don'treally like this question because I feel like
(06:23):
people feel like, Okay, I'mdating this person and they're better than me,
they're more special than me, andagain that affects your self worth.
And also then you always feel likeyou can't match what they're doing, and
that just doesn't exist. If thatperson's picking you, then they want to
be with you. You don't haveto feel like, oh, this person's
out of my league. If youfeel like you're out of their league.
(06:45):
You got to just figure out whatyou want in a person, what you
feel like is right for you,because you don't want to belittle that person
and make them feel less of themselvesbecause they don't match what you're doing in
your life, or they don't matchwhat your energy is. I know when
someone is out of my league asas you guys are asking, and that's
if they don't aren't spiritually aligned withme, they don't have the same worth
(07:05):
ethic as me. It's not aboutlooks, it's about how they view themselves
and how mature they are. That'ssomeone that's out of my league. If
someone's way less mature than me,it's not gonna work. And if they
don't work as hard and they're moreof a lazy person that wants to play
video games, no shame to anybody. I'm just saying that would be somebody
(07:26):
a little bit out of my leaguebecause I don't like doing that. It
makes me feel like I gotta sitthere with them and not work on the
things that I want to work on. Or if the person don't have any
ambition for me, that's someone outof my league, and I feel like
that's a lot of other people.But if you're someone that is content with
your life and you find someone that'salso content with their life and loves what
(07:47):
you're doing, that's someone in yourleague. It's not about looks. I
know a lot of people are concernedabout that, Like say you have a
hot girl and you're not as hotas her. It's not about that.
It's about emotionally. Okay, nextquestion, I'm getting anxious about our future
relationship, afraid of ending. Isuppose how can I handle this conversation?
(08:11):
This is a big one. Ifeel like everybody they're anxious about. Okay,
am I investing too much time withthis person? Isn't going to end?
And what happens when it ends?How am I gonna feel when it
ends? And that is really scary? And I feel like you've got to
be really transparent with that person andlet them know, like these are my
fears honestly, Like this second dateI go on with people now, I
(08:31):
just tell them straight up, likethis is what I'm concerned about. This
is what has happened to me,and I'm fearful of this happening again.
And I really don't want this tobe happening again. You've got to just
rip the band aid off and askthe questions and don't be scared of the
person's response, because most likely,if you're opening up to someone, they
really value that, they really wantyou to continue to open up, and
(08:54):
you just got to tell them.I'm like, listen, I'm scared of
this. But the problem is isif you're constantly scared of a relationship ending,
I feel like you can almost likespeak it into existence and like almost
manifest it, and you don't wantthat. You don't want to constantly wake
up every day waiting for the relationshipto end, because what if it doesn't,
then you're not enjoying the days thatyou have with that person. I
(09:16):
mean, it could end just bysomeone you know unfortunately passing away, and
you waste it all those days feelinglike, Okay, when's this person gonna
leave? And you don't enjoy yourdates. You're just so anxious. You
got to almost like just let thatgo and you almost have to be okay
with knowing that it could possibly endand just have a great, beautiful experience
(09:39):
with that person while they're there,while they're with you. Honestly, I'm
(10:00):
just afraid to even ask women fortheir numbers. These days, there's no
good situation to ask a woman outanymore that could potentially lead to being labeled
a creep or a weirdo. Thisis a big one. I'm a big
advocate for this because I feel likeI'm being a hypocrite right now, but
I feel like women have definitely madeit very hard for men to ask them
(10:22):
out. Men are very scared nowto say the wrong thing, to do
the wrong thing. Men feel likethey can't be they can't be themselves,
and the right way is to literallyjust say are you single? I'd love
to get your number, and ifyou're not, then like, I,
you know, respectfully, just wantto tell you that you're beautiful, or
(10:43):
approach them on something that you cancompliment them with, like if you're in
a workout class, like compliment themon something like that, and just be
like, I would love to getyour number, I'd love to get to
know you. The less words youuse, but just very nice ones are
the best way to go. Iwouldn't say like, oh, you're so
suxy, even though that's very nice, and personally I would like that some
(11:03):
people could be turned off. Iwould just stick to like very like nice
words like pretty beautiful. You knowyou looked great today. I've been noticing
you. And if they bind youcreepy by saying that that's not your person,
that's not who you want to bewith, that person is just upset.
They have a lot more self workthat they need to work on.
(11:24):
How do I ask my doctor aboutmy vaginal health and if it is normal?
Well, your doctor is there tobe there when you want to ask
any questions to get any information,and you're not going to find any better
information that you need to know unlessit's from your doctor, because they know
everything about you. I do thinkthat doctors can be very tough on people,
(11:48):
and they don't necessarily want to bedoctors because I know that that is
a very hard career path to takeand it's very draining, and I know
that it can be very uncomfortable,especially when something doesn't feel normal. But
just remember that your doctor's there foryou, and your doctor is there to
help you. And I think thatyou just need to be again transparent and
(12:09):
say listen, I'm having these problems. I need to know if they're normal.
Another thing that I think that peopleget too crazy about is googling constantly
don't go in there thinking that youhave twenty things wrong. Write down your
questions, but don't write down whatyou think is wrong with you at that
time. Let your doctor answer thatfor you, and don't be afraid to
(12:31):
ask for added tests. Like ifyou feel like your doctor's not running enough
blood work for you, or they'renot doing the tests that you need to
be done, feel free to askfor more. I do that all the
time. I'm always like, no, no, no, I want I
just rather have all the tests.I rather just know for sure instead of
constantly going back. I get thatthough, And when it comes to vaginal
(12:52):
health, they could be a trickything. There's too much online that says
certain things are normal when they reallyaren't, and you know, normal things
are just looked over in a way. Next question, many women are too
afraid to ask for their STD results. Guys, you have to be asking
your partners if they are recently tested. If you're not gonna use a condom,
(13:15):
if you're gonna bear back that shit, you gotta make sure you test
three days after because there's an incubationperiod where if you test too early you
can get a false negative on things. So this is what I've learned from
the industry. You gotta wait atleast three days. That's why we're on
a fourteen day thing, because yougotta wait at least three days so you
can get the right results. AndI don't think people really know this,
(13:37):
but there's actually a new STD outcall. It's not a new one,
but they just now classified it asan STD It's called like microplasma genitalia,
right, yeah, genitalium. Inthe industry, we call it mgen and
it's just as common as gonner rheaand chlamydia. It's very hard to treat
because it's gotten so strong. It'sa fourteen day treat and that's if it
(14:01):
works. So they're treating it witha bunch of different antibiotics. But the
problem is that not many people knowand even testing places that aren't industry,
they don't even think the test forthis, So you just going to the
doctor. You can even even googlelike free std dot com. I think
it's called free stdcheck dot com andit will show you all of the places
(14:22):
that you can test. You gottatest, I say test after every partner,
and if you're not having a conversationwith your partner, whether they're having
sex with other people. You gotto test after every single time you have
sex with them. I don't carewhat they tell you. If you guys
are not in a relationship and youdon't know for sure, some things cannot
be treatable. A lot of thingsaren't. If you catch something, don't
(14:43):
freak out. You know it happens. Just get yourself treated, live your
life. But yeah, testing isvery scary. When I first went into
the industry, I was very scaredabout testing. I would get anxiety before
my test would pop up on myphone. I'm like, is this the
something's gonna pop up and be bad? And it can honestly be traumatic when
you get it, and it couldbe positive because it feels like it's an
(15:09):
invasion to your like health, Likeit feels like something that like somebody invaded
you. And it's a very scaryfeeling. But you've got to test after
every partner, hands down. Don'tforget. There's free places they'll test you.
Don't worry. A lot of insurancescover it too, But you've gotta
test. I tell all my newpartners, I'm like, have you been
(15:30):
tested for mgen? And they don'teven know what the fuck I'm talking about
and you've got to teach people.I'm here to tell all of you guys,
it's a new STD. It's justas strong, if not stronger,
than gonery and chlamydia, and justas common. So test test tests for
that. It's one of those thosesilent ones too, where you don't have
symptoms. You know, you guysgotta test. Do you guys care about
(15:54):
labia, what labia looks like?No, they do not. A pussy
is a pussy. They don't care. They just want to have sex with
you. I've never heard a guycomment on a girl's labya and I know,
like people see the online a lot, people being like, oh longer
laby is disgusting and all that kindof stuff, And like, honestly,
(16:15):
growing up, I really thought thatmine was grows until I got to be
an adult. And no man hasever said anything in a negative way towards
it. No vagina looks the same. It's not gonna look the same.
You know. Genitalia in general isnot I personally don't think it's good looking.
Whether it's a penis or a vagina. It just doesn't look good.
And you got to get past thatand just know that it doesn't look the
(16:37):
same, and a guy just wantsto be there with you and have that
experience. I'm telling you, oncethey're already in bed with you, they
know that they want to be withyou. It's not about your the way
that your labia looks like at all. How do I approach guys I like
without coming across desperate. So Ithink that if you're out and you see
(17:00):
somebody, this is my favorite goto. And this might be a little
bit too aggressive for people, Butif I see a guy I think he's
good looking, he's at a tablewith all his buddies, I will send
a shot to everybody at the table, just tequila, because everybody drinks tequila,
and I'll just have the waitress orthe waiter tell the person that it's
from me, and then I justpolitely wave, and then I wait for
(17:21):
the guy to come to me andapproach me. I feel like that's not
desperate. If they don't come upto you, it is what it is.
But I feel like they like thata little bit of dominance. If
you're talking about someone that you've likemet online or that you've known for a
while, it's hard to look desperateunless you're too like, not too forward.
But if you're too disgusting with it, it comes off more desperate.
(17:44):
Like if you're like, I wantto fuck you right now, I feel
like that's a little desperate. Justapproach someone the way you want to be
approached. I like you, I'dlove to go out with you, and
leave it as that. I thinkpeople are more afraid of the embarrassment and
the rejection more than feeling deaf spirt. And you gotta also know that there's
no real embarrassment by being rejected.It's just not your person. You don't
(18:07):
want to go out with somebody thatdoesn't want to go out with you,
and you won't know until you ask. All right, heartbreakers, thanks for
listening. See you guys next time.
Straw Media. Hey guys, it'sme Sapphire on Heartbreakers. Of course I'm
(00:24):
gonna be answering some questions for youguys, for men and women, what
they're most afraid to ask. Iwanted to dedicate this episode to just every
question that you guys always try toask. I know I always just answer
like one or two, but thisis your episode where you get most of
your questions, if not all answered. I asked this on my social media
(00:46):
and this is like the top onesthat were most asked, and it's what
is something that you're too afraid toask your partner about? And one of
them is what does their partner reallyexpect from them emotionally and physically in their
relationship? Are they meeting those expectationspersonally? For me, I think that
you just need to straight up askyour partner what they want from you emotionally,
(01:07):
and you need to also be transparenton what you need emotionally to tell
them. It needs to be acalm conversation. I personally think that you
don't need to be bringing up toomuch of a past relationship because once one
thing is done, it's done.And then honestly, for physically and a
relationship. I think that needs tobe your guys' first conversation from the very
beginning, because there's people that areokay with having sex once a month,
(01:32):
twice a month, every day ofthe week. But if you're not aligned
in that way, I don't seepersonally a relationship even going any further.
If you guys are just off onthat, you guys got to have that
conversation from the very beginning. Ifyou're a horny person and your partner's not,
that's cool, but it just isnever gonna work. You'll get bored
(01:53):
if you're someone that's you know,wants sex all the time, and honestly,
if the person isn't as sexual asyou, they'll almost of be,
like I want to say, scaredin a way. It doesn't allow them
to open up even more to youphysically, and same with emotionally. I
feel like it goes hand in hand. If you're someone that talks a lot
and tells your feelings how it isand your partner's more reserved, you got
(02:15):
to try to get that person toopen up, but without any pressure.
You guys got to not have anypressure on your relationships. I know that
I have complications with opening up topeople. I'm very shut off. That's
something that I'm really working on.It's affected my relationships in the past where
I'm just upset I don't tell them, and then they don't know, and
(02:37):
then they can't fix it. Ifyou don't tell someone what's wrong, it's
they're unable to fix it. Howcan you tell a girl is single and
emotionally available for a relationship? Thatis very hard, guys, because it's
up to that person one to behonest if they're single, and we all
know how it goes these days wherepeople just don't want to be honest about
(02:59):
that. If that's on that personfor not telling you that they're single,
that's between them and whoever that personis that they're in a relationship with.
But if that person really isn't singleand they're telling you that they're not single,
I say stay far away from it. I have learned just from the
past that it does come with reallybad karma if you're actively messing around with
(03:23):
someone who isn't single. For me, like I before I was in committed,
committed relationships, you guys all knowthat I honestly had no problem messing
with married guys. But then whenI got into a relationship where I was
really in love and I really wantedthe person, it hurt me so bad
that they cheated on me. Imean it was still to this day,
I'm freaking traumatized from it. Andif someone's emotionally available, man, I
(03:47):
feel like you know when someone's emotionallyavailable when they're literally telling you their emotions
and when they're ready to actually tellyou exactly what they want. If someone
comes to you when they say like, I'm ready for this relationship right now,
it's when someone kind of dances aroundyour questions. I don't feel like
they're emotionally available, and if theyshow any type of lack of maturity,
(04:10):
for sure, hands down not emotionallyavailable. I'm super curious about non monogamous
relationships and polyamorous relationships. Can itwork? Can it be done without hurting
your self worth or being self destruction? Well, it's one thing if you're
just both sleeping around with multiple peopleand you guys come home to each other,
(04:31):
and people always say like, oh, it's okay if my partner goes
out and does this and that,as long as they come home to me.
I personally feel like that does hurtyour self worth. I'm not gonna
lie. It does lower your value, and I know a lot of people
are gonna really argue that. Andthat's just through my experiences. I feel
(04:51):
like if that's the relationship you're headingtowards, which is non monogamous, it
needs to be both ways. Andalso when you're in and say, you
know you're dating a couple, soit's like a married couple and then you're
added into the relationship, I actuallythink that's great. I think that if
you're someone that has a lot goingon in your life but you want intimacy
and you want to feel like desiredby people, it could feel very good,
(05:15):
but you have to be very carefulof feeling like you're their accessory,
like you're just at their disposal,and you got to put up clear boundaries.
You got to make sure things arenot one sided, because it really
does affect how you view yourself.Even if you're having fun, you're the
girlfriend of a married couple. LikeI said, I've done it. I
had a great time, but Ididn't like feeling like I was their accessory
(05:38):
and they could just call me whenever. But then I couldn't go out and
do what I wanted or if Iwanted to get married or something like that.
How does that work in with thecouple that I'm already dating. I
say, don't do it. Butif you're into that and you're into couples,
it could be very hot. Itcould be very pleasing. It could
Yeah. I mean, I didit for almost three months. It was
(06:00):
a great experience, and I knewthat I didn't want to do it again,
but I'm very thankful that I didit. It'd be good too,
if you were like a sugar babyto a couple. I'm not gonna lie.
That could really work well. Whois out of your league? I'm
guessing this person is asking how doyou figure if some figure out if someone's
out of your league. I don'treally like this question because I feel like
(06:23):
people feel like, Okay, I'mdating this person and they're better than me,
they're more special than me, andagain that affects your self worth.
And also then you always feel likeyou can't match what they're doing, and
that just doesn't exist. If thatperson's picking you, then they want to
be with you. You don't haveto feel like, oh, this person's
out of my league. If youfeel like you're out of their league.
(06:45):
You got to just figure out whatyou want in a person, what you
feel like is right for you,because you don't want to belittle that person
and make them feel less of themselvesbecause they don't match what you're doing in
your life, or they don't matchwhat your energy is. I know when
someone is out of my league asas you guys are asking, and that's
if they don't aren't spiritually aligned withme, they don't have the same worth
(07:05):
ethic as me. It's not aboutlooks, it's about how they view themselves
and how mature they are. That'ssomeone that's out of my league. If
someone's way less mature than me,it's not gonna work. And if they
don't work as hard and they're moreof a lazy person that wants to play
video games, no shame to anybody. I'm just saying that would be somebody
(07:26):
a little bit out of my leaguebecause I don't like doing that. It
makes me feel like I gotta sitthere with them and not work on the
things that I want to work on. Or if the person don't have any
ambition for me, that's someone outof my league, and I feel like
that's a lot of other people.But if you're someone that is content with
your life and you find someone that'salso content with their life and loves what
(07:47):
you're doing, that's someone in yourleague. It's not about looks. I
know a lot of people are concernedabout that, Like say you have a
hot girl and you're not as hotas her. It's not about that.
It's about emotionally. Okay, nextquestion, I'm getting anxious about our future
relationship, afraid of ending. Isuppose how can I handle this conversation?
(08:11):
This is a big one. Ifeel like everybody they're anxious about. Okay,
am I investing too much time withthis person? Isn't going to end?
And what happens when it ends?How am I gonna feel when it
ends? And that is really scary? And I feel like you've got to
be really transparent with that person andlet them know, like these are my
fears honestly, Like this second dateI go on with people now, I
(08:31):
just tell them straight up, likethis is what I'm concerned about. This
is what has happened to me,and I'm fearful of this happening again.
And I really don't want this tobe happening again. You've got to just
rip the band aid off and askthe questions and don't be scared of the
person's response, because most likely,if you're opening up to someone, they
really value that, they really wantyou to continue to open up, and
(08:54):
you just got to tell them.I'm like, listen, I'm scared of
this. But the problem is isif you're constantly scared of a relationship ending,
I feel like you can almost likespeak it into existence and like almost
manifest it, and you don't wantthat. You don't want to constantly wake
up every day waiting for the relationshipto end, because what if it doesn't,
then you're not enjoying the days thatyou have with that person. I
(09:16):
mean, it could end just bysomeone you know unfortunately passing away, and
you waste it all those days feelinglike, Okay, when's this person gonna
leave? And you don't enjoy yourdates. You're just so anxious. You
got to almost like just let thatgo and you almost have to be okay
with knowing that it could possibly endand just have a great, beautiful experience
(09:39):
with that person while they're there,while they're with you. Honestly, I'm
(10:00):
just afraid to even ask women fortheir numbers. These days, there's no
good situation to ask a woman outanymore that could potentially lead to being labeled
a creep or a weirdo. Thisis a big one. I'm a big
advocate for this because I feel likeI'm being a hypocrite right now, but
I feel like women have definitely madeit very hard for men to ask them
(10:22):
out. Men are very scared nowto say the wrong thing, to do
the wrong thing. Men feel likethey can't be they can't be themselves,
and the right way is to literallyjust say are you single? I'd love
to get your number, and ifyou're not, then like, I,
you know, respectfully, just wantto tell you that you're beautiful, or
(10:43):
approach them on something that you cancompliment them with, like if you're in
a workout class, like compliment themon something like that, and just be
like, I would love to getyour number, I'd love to get to
know you. The less words youuse, but just very nice ones are
the best way to go. Iwouldn't say like, oh, you're so
suxy, even though that's very nice, and personally I would like that some
(11:03):
people could be turned off. Iwould just stick to like very like nice
words like pretty beautiful. You knowyou looked great today. I've been noticing
you. And if they bind youcreepy by saying that that's not your person,
that's not who you want to bewith, that person is just upset.
They have a lot more self workthat they need to work on.
(11:24):
How do I ask my doctor aboutmy vaginal health and if it is normal?
Well, your doctor is there tobe there when you want to ask
any questions to get any information,and you're not going to find any better
information that you need to know unlessit's from your doctor, because they know
everything about you. I do thinkthat doctors can be very tough on people,
(11:48):
and they don't necessarily want to bedoctors because I know that that is
a very hard career path to takeand it's very draining, and I know
that it can be very uncomfortable,especially when something doesn't feel normal. But
just remember that your doctor's there foryou, and your doctor is there to
help you. And I think thatyou just need to be again transparent and
(12:09):
say listen, I'm having these problems. I need to know if they're normal.
Another thing that I think that peopleget too crazy about is googling constantly
don't go in there thinking that youhave twenty things wrong. Write down your
questions, but don't write down whatyou think is wrong with you at that
time. Let your doctor answer thatfor you, and don't be afraid to
(12:31):
ask for added tests. Like ifyou feel like your doctor's not running enough
blood work for you, or they'renot doing the tests that you need to
be done, feel free to askfor more. I do that all the
time. I'm always like, no, no, no, I want I
just rather have all the tests.I rather just know for sure instead of
constantly going back. I get thatthough, And when it comes to vaginal
(12:52):
health, they could be a trickything. There's too much online that says
certain things are normal when they reallyaren't, and you know, normal things
are just looked over in a way. Next question, many women are too
afraid to ask for their STD results. Guys, you have to be asking
your partners if they are recently tested. If you're not gonna use a condom,
(13:15):
if you're gonna bear back that shit, you gotta make sure you test
three days after because there's an incubationperiod where if you test too early you
can get a false negative on things. So this is what I've learned from
the industry. You gotta wait atleast three days. That's why we're on
a fourteen day thing, because yougotta wait at least three days so you
can get the right results. AndI don't think people really know this,
(13:37):
but there's actually a new STD outcall. It's not a new one,
but they just now classified it asan STD It's called like microplasma genitalia,
right, yeah, genitalium. Inthe industry, we call it mgen and
it's just as common as gonner rheaand chlamydia. It's very hard to treat
because it's gotten so strong. It'sa fourteen day treat and that's if it
(14:01):
works. So they're treating it witha bunch of different antibiotics. But the
problem is that not many people knowand even testing places that aren't industry,
they don't even think the test forthis, So you just going to the
doctor. You can even even googlelike free std dot com. I think
it's called free stdcheck dot com andit will show you all of the places
(14:22):
that you can test. You gottatest, I say test after every partner,
and if you're not having a conversationwith your partner, whether they're having
sex with other people. You gotto test after every single time you have
sex with them. I don't carewhat they tell you. If you guys
are not in a relationship and youdon't know for sure, some things cannot
be treatable. A lot of thingsaren't. If you catch something, don't
(14:43):
freak out. You know it happens. Just get yourself treated, live your
life. But yeah, testing isvery scary. When I first went into
the industry, I was very scaredabout testing. I would get anxiety before
my test would pop up on myphone. I'm like, is this the
something's gonna pop up and be bad? And it can honestly be traumatic when
you get it, and it couldbe positive because it feels like it's an
(15:09):
invasion to your like health, Likeit feels like something that like somebody invaded
you. And it's a very scaryfeeling. But you've got to test after
every partner, hands down. Don'tforget. There's free places they'll test you.
Don't worry. A lot of insurancescover it too, But you've gotta
test. I tell all my newpartners, I'm like, have you been
(15:30):
tested for mgen? And they don'teven know what the fuck I'm talking about
and you've got to teach people.I'm here to tell all of you guys,
it's a new STD. It's justas strong, if not stronger,
than gonery and chlamydia, and justas common. So test test tests for
that. It's one of those thosesilent ones too, where you don't have
symptoms. You know, you guysgotta test. Do you guys care about
(15:54):
labia, what labia looks like?No, they do not. A pussy
is a pussy. They don't care. They just want to have sex with
you. I've never heard a guycomment on a girl's labya and I know,
like people see the online a lot, people being like, oh longer
laby is disgusting and all that kindof stuff, And like, honestly,
(16:15):
growing up, I really thought thatmine was grows until I got to be
an adult. And no man hasever said anything in a negative way towards
it. No vagina looks the same. It's not gonna look the same.
You know. Genitalia in general isnot I personally don't think it's good looking.
Whether it's a penis or a vagina. It just doesn't look good.
And you got to get past thatand just know that it doesn't look the
(16:37):
same, and a guy just wantsto be there with you and have that
experience. I'm telling you, oncethey're already in bed with you, they
know that they want to be withyou. It's not about your the way
that your labia looks like at all. How do I approach guys I like
without coming across desperate. So Ithink that if you're out and you see
(17:00):
somebody, this is my favorite goto. And this might be a little
bit too aggressive for people, Butif I see a guy I think he's
good looking, he's at a tablewith all his buddies, I will send
a shot to everybody at the table, just tequila, because everybody drinks tequila,
and I'll just have the waitress orthe waiter tell the person that it's
from me, and then I justpolitely wave, and then I wait for
(17:21):
the guy to come to me andapproach me. I feel like that's not
desperate. If they don't come upto you, it is what it is.
But I feel like they like thata little bit of dominance. If
you're talking about someone that you've likemet online or that you've known for a
while, it's hard to look desperateunless you're too like, not too forward.
But if you're too disgusting with it, it comes off more desperate.
(17:44):
Like if you're like, I wantto fuck you right now, I feel
like that's a little desperate. Justapproach someone the way you want to be
approached. I like you, I'dlove to go out with you, and
leave it as that. I thinkpeople are more afraid of the embarrassment and
the rejection more than feeling deaf spirt. And you gotta also know that there's
no real embarrassment by being rejected.It's just not your person. You don't
(18:07):
want to go out with somebody thatdoesn't want to go out with you,
and you won't know until you ask. All right, heartbreakers, thanks for
listening. See you guys next time.
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