Elsa Teaches You How to Get Your Butt To The Gym

Welcome back Heartbreakers! Today, Elsa is going to share her fitness journey from the perspective of a woman! She will tell us how she first got started at the gym, how to avoid creepy guys, and how to stay motivated to keep going week after week. Later, Elsa is going to read some unearthed questions from our hotline that didn’t make it in our normally scheduled episodes. You’re not going to want to miss this. 

Do you have a burning question to ask the Heartbreakers that we didn’t get to? Call the Heartbreakers Hotline at [phone], email us at [e-mail], or tweet us at @HBpodcastlive!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Straw Hut Media.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hey, Heartbreakers, So today I have another solo episode for
you guys. I get a lot of questions and sometimes
it's hard to get them all answered because there's so many.
So I just want to answer the questions that are
most asked and get a little bit more personal for
the girly listeners that are watching. So today I want

(00:40):
to talk to you about my fitness journey. Actually that's
a frequently asked topic and I love to just dive
right into it. As a female trying to stay in
good shape, it really can be intimidating going to the gym,

(01:02):
between the creepy guys, not knowing how to use the equipment,
and just finding the time. I know that it's a
struggle for women in everyday life just keeping up that
body image, you know, staying with the fitness trends. So
I'd love to talk to you about how I even
started working out, which I honestly started working out just recently,

(01:25):
and that was this past January twenty twenty four. I
actually had to really commit to working out. I purposely
did not go out for New Year's Eve because I
promised myself that January first, I'm working out and I
didn't want to go to the gym hungover. So I
just started with actually going to the gym and using

(01:46):
the treadmill and the stair stepper, and that's all I did.
I did that for thirty minutes. I didn't want to
traumatize myself and make myself hate the gym. I would
try to find like workout friends to go with, but
they would kind of always flake on me. One thing
about me is if I promise myself to do something,
I don't like to not do it. It's really important
to me. So I'll literally say I promise myself that

(02:08):
I'm going to the gym, and I do it. I
try to go at least three times a week, which
is a lot. I would say just twice a week,
you know. I think that's what normal people can do
with full schedules, Like if you're working at nine to five,
everybody typically has two days off a week sometimes, so
I just spend one hour at the gym. Yeah, I
mean the challenges that I face as a female getting

(02:31):
into fitness, I just don't want to do it. I
hate working out. I hate it. I hate it. I
hate it. I hate it, and it's really hard for
me to stay motivated. That's my main challenge, Like I
hate it all the way up until I'm leaving. And
how do I deal with creepy guys at the gym
is another issue. I actually use a personal trainer now,
which is the next question. But the creepy guys, it's hard.

(02:54):
In LA the gym is almost like a hangout spot.
Like people will be there three four hours and they
wear their cute outfits, they have their hair, makeup done,
like everybody's chatting to each other. I don't like that,
and I just go in there like stone cold. Makeup
not done, hair not done, don't wear a cute outfit,

(03:15):
put your headphones in, and you just have to ignore them. Unfortunately,
there's going to be creepy guys no matter where you go,
no matter what you do, even if you're not working out,
there's always going to be a creepy guy. Sorry, that's
just the truth. You could just be walking down the
street and there's going to be a creepy guy. There
is getting a personal trainer worth the cost? Yes, I

(03:36):
personally think that it is, but I'll just be honest.
A personal trainer, at least in LA is typically one
fifty to two hundred for the hour. I've never really
heard of a trainer charging less. I've also heard of
trainers charging way more than that, and that can be
really costly for some people. I mean, that's three hundred
dollars a week if you go twice. What I like
about a personal trainer is that they can show you

(03:58):
exactly what to do, and then you can just, you know,
write it down, you can remember it, you can even
film it while they're showing you, and then when you
go to a gym by yourself, you could do the
same workouts and get the same results. I like a
trainer because I don't do my workouts correct, even when
I'm by myself, even when he showed me a hundred times,
I mess up every single time, and I've hurt myself

(04:21):
actually really badly. One time my back it was even swollen,
and I just will never not use a trainer again.
I mean, it was traumatizing for me. But yeah, trainers
can be creepy too, so keep that in mind. You're
either going to have a creep at the gym by
yourself or I'm just kidding. I don't want to convince
people not to work out. If you're a female, I

(04:42):
would actually say get a female trainer. That's going to
be your easiest bet. And a lot of gyms actually
have trainers that work at the gym. You don't have
to hire them privately. My favorite workout is I think
it's called a kickback. I always rename the workouts to
things that don't make sense, but my favorite is the kickback.

(05:05):
I see a lot of results recently. I've really seen
results in my butt, in my legs, it has really grown.
I'm really proud of it. And yeah, it's from the
kickbacks and deadlifts and squats they always they build that
muscle quick. What I really like about my personal trainer too,
is he built me off of my muscle, off of

(05:26):
my own body weight before we even started using weights
at all. And I really saw results with that. I'm
a really great trader, really really great trainer. He's really
nice and really normal. I got lucky. The days that
you don't feel like going, what gets you to go?
It's that promise I made to myself. I don't want
to disappoint myself, so I'll go. I always feel better

(05:49):
after I leave the gym. I'm not gonna lie. I
feel like honestly more energized. It's cortizone right that you
release when you're working on if I'm not mistaken, and
that helps with your stress levels. It really helps me
for that hour, like I have to pay attention so
much to what I'm doing to keep myself honestly safe
from messing up. It's a great distraction. I really have

(06:10):
become obsessed with it just for that alone. Is that
our hour and a half of distraction where I almost
kind of feel at peace, even though I hate the
gym so much. It doesn't really make sense, but it
does work. And everybody for like years was trying to
convince me to work out, but we're here now. So
what really got me to start going to the gym

(06:31):
is I had a crush and a guy that didn't
like that I didn't go to the gym. He was
really athletic. He was always like, you should try to
go to the gym for your stress. I wanted to
show off to him that I knew how to work out,
and then I really liked it, and then I dropped
the guy. So yeah, I mean, that's that's why I
started going to the gym. That was my motivation. If

(06:52):
that's your motivation, I say, you do it. What I
like to do for me personally is I don't like
to focus too much on my arm I don't want
them to get big and masculine. I want to keep
my body very toned but feminine. One thing I forgot
to add was I do one day a week pilates,
and that really keeps your body lean. It's really hard.

(07:13):
I know it's super in right now to do pilates,
but I recommend doing it one day a week. And
the workouts that I do are mainly like my stomach
and my legs, and but for my legs I do
dad lifts and squats with a dumb bell. I don't
remember the names, guys, I'm sorry, but another thing that

(07:33):
I like to do with the dumb bell is like
it's called a halo and that helps with your arms. Actually,
I do the kickbacks. I do the step ups. I
think they're called where you have like a box and
then you step up and you're holding a weight. Yeah,
I mean those things they really like. I'm sore a lot.
I'm not gonna lie. Like, if you do enough of

(07:53):
them and you stay committed, you will be sore and
don't be scared of that, because that just means it's working.
I really like to tone my stomach, so I'll do planks.
That's what it's called, right, You're like this and your yeah,
planks planks on a ball like one of those blow
up medicine balls, and you put your elbows on it
actually like that and you move it slightly back and forth.

(08:15):
That really gets your core to burn, but it works.
I do that every single time. What benefits have you
noticed with your mental health, physical health, and emotional health.
Everybody told me this, it really helps your mental health.
I don't know what it is. I want to say
that it's that court zone that you're releasing, or the
fact that you can look in the mirror and really

(08:37):
like your results and see the results and like be like, wow,
I really like my body. It really helps me emotionally
when I'm like amped up and I'm upset and I
go to the gym, it's almost like when you go
to those smash rooms and you like smash a bunch
of stuff, Like it's the same type of feeling that
I get. Another thing about when I'm working out is

(08:57):
I started to actually lose muscle because I wasn't eating
an enough protein, and I want people to be cautious
of that because you can get like the opposite results.
So always bring like a shake or something like that,
and it really helps. If you're not gonna eat the protein,
just quick throw it in a shake. They actually taste
really good now, the fair View or fair Life whatever

(09:18):
it's called. The forty two grams. It tastes like a
just like chocolate milk, has a little bit of an aftertaste.
I'm not gonna lie, but it really helps. And they
say you're supposed to have the same amount of grams
as protein that you weigh, so I don't know how
true that is, but I want to say that it's

(09:38):
true because it's really helped me. Ooh, if you guys
want a really good tip, and I can't believe I'm
gonna leak this right now, but if you want to
date an athlete or meet an athlete, go to the
private gyms where you have to have a I'm not
gonna say which ones, but in LA you have to
have a trainer with you, Like you can't just go
and work out by yourself and it's only you with

(09:58):
your trainer. And it's typically like an athlete that's also there.
They don't let anybody else in. It's great to meet
non creepy guys. I feel like the public gyms can
be really full of the creepy guys. You could also
go during the afternoon. At least in LA people are
always there in the morning, like really early before work

(10:19):
or in the evening. And I noticed that the gyms
are pretty dead in the afternoon. So if you want
to avoid those creepy guys, but there's always that one
guy at the gym that's there and like everyone's like,
oh no, so and so's here. Yeah, so just stay
away from that person. Don't fall for it. I hope
that helped answer some of your fitness questions, and some

(10:39):
key takeaways are that just go to the gym for
thirty minutes, start off slow, just look at the equipment.
You don't have to go hard and shock yourself. That's
my number one advice to you guys is to don't
scare yourself. Just go ease into it.

Speaker 3 (10:56):
And yeah, I hope that really helps you guys.

Speaker 2 (11:19):
So here are some questions that Sally we couldn't answer
in our normal episodes. The first one is I recently
got into a fist fight with a friend of a
friend for being transphobic, and now my friends won't talk
to me. Interesting recently got into a full on fist
fight with a friend of a friend who we will
call Mark, and broke his nose. I was at a

(11:41):
party at a friend's house and we were all drinking.
I have a lot of trans and queer friends, and
Mark was saying very transphobic comments, including that Mark thinks
that all trans people should be killed. Wow, oh my goodness,
that's like, that's not what I expected to read. I
told him to knock it off, buddy, wouldn't I snapped

(12:02):
and punched him right in the face and broke his nose.

Speaker 3 (12:05):
Good.

Speaker 2 (12:05):
I left shortly after that, But all of my friends
have ghost to me and now won't talk to me.
What should I do? Cut your losses? You don't want
any friends that are transphobic, racist, mean, hateful, judgmental. You
do not want that those are not your friends. I
don't condone physical violence, but I feel like in some

(12:27):
instances it could be forgivable, especially when you're talking about
a certain genre of people should be killed, especially because
that's happened in history before, that's a very serious thing
to say, and how are you supposed to know if
that person one it's not a funny joke, but that
to me, I would take that as a death threat.

(12:47):
And I feel like you can be physical when someone's
threatening other people's safety one hundred percent. And those are
not your friends, you do not want them. I think
that she should actually be happy that they're not calling you,
because you don't want to be around people like that.
And if they can't understand that, that was wrong of
Mark to say, they can go be friends with Mark

(13:10):
and they can go have bad karma. But that's not
how you talk to people. I'm very passionate about accepting
everybody for who they are, and it's just so hateful.
I can't believe. I'm shocked that that's That's just I'm
disgusted by it. Honestly, we're and also it's twenty twenty four.
I mean, obviously there is still hateful people, but it's like,

(13:33):
that's not respected to be a hateful person. Nobody looks
on that and thinks that's a good thing, unless they're
just like, oh god, I can't stand that. Okay, next one,
now that I'm heated, my friend won't leave her cheating boyfriend.
My friend twenty one female won't leave her boyfriend twenty
two male. And I don't know how much more I
can listen to her complaint. This guy has cheated on

(13:55):
her more than ten times, and she keeps forgiving him.
They've been together since high school and she's very codependent
on him. They physically fight and she always complains about
how much of an asshole he is. I want her
to leave him, and it's getting hard to support her.
What should I do? Yeah, this is like actually a
very common thing. It's hard to support a friend that

(14:16):
you know is going to make the same decisions. And
it's also hard to listen to your friend because it's
like it's going in one ear going out the other.
You can only support it so much because it brings
you down when someone's always complaining. I've been in situations
like this, and as a friend, I try to support
all the way up until it starts to affect me emotionally.

(14:37):
As long as I'm not involved and I'm just a listener,
that's one thing. But I feel like after a while,
as a friend, you start to almost get involved and
very passionate about it, and I've had to go to
friends and say, listen, I can't hear you complain about
this anymore. You know what's going on. Obviously you're the
one in that situation, but you know that it's not
going to change. It's not that I don't support you leaving,

(14:59):
but I can't support you staying and I don't want
to be around it. Please keep it away from me,
And that's all you got to say. And if that friend.
I've had friends get upset with that. But it's too
emotionally draining. You don't have that time and that energy
to give out to people that has nothing to do
with you. I would ask the person to stop involving
you with it, and they can seek help through another friend.

(15:22):
It's that simple if they want to stay. It's hard
also when someone's physically because it says that this person
also fights physically. That's hard because you want to be
there for that person in case something gets very very serious.
But that's another thing. As a friend, you could say, listen,
I can't be involved with a friendship where you're physically

(15:42):
hurting your partner. The partner's physically hurting you. I always
say to my friends, the last straw and I won't
say how I feel about the relationship, but if it
is physical, you have to you have to leave, like
it's a non negotiable. Yeah, tell them it's not. You
can't hear any can't listen to it anymore. Okay, next question.

(16:03):
I think my ex uploaded revenge porn, but I can't
prove it. I thirty female recently got sent in a
screenshot of my nudes on a porn sub reddit. I
also dumped this guy recently and he didn't take it well.
He thinks I cheated on him, but I just didn't
see a future with him. We've been no contact and
I thought he was moving on. It wasn't until a

(16:26):
guy friend sent me that screenshot. Now I've sent that
newd to a few guys in the past. My face
isn't in it, but I have a tattoo my arm
and that clearly identifies me. I can't prove it was
my ex, but I have a strong feeling. What should
I do? Well, Unfortunately, legally, if you can't prove it
and you've sent it to multiple people, there is nothing

(16:50):
you can do. Listen, This is hard to say, but
my only real advice for you is to take this
as a tough lesson in life and to be very
cautious on who you send your nudes to. If you
can't prove it, you can't take him to court over it.
And it's a very disgusting thing to do. That's a
very intimate thing, and you just never know what someone's

(17:10):
gonna do with it, obviously, like upload it on Reddit.
I mean, that's so hateful. I guess maybe you could
hire like a PI to get the IP address and
then see if that's his place that you know uploaded it.
You could do that. I mean that takes a lot
of time, but you could hire a PI and get
the location that it was uploaded and then then sue him.

(17:34):
It's very hard to take legal action on things just
in general. But this to me is unfortunately just a tough,
tough lesson. I wish I could give more advice. But
I'm kind of curious on why the guy friend sent
it though, and how he I mean, I guess he
was like, oh man, that's my friend with that arm tattoo.

(17:58):
But I feel like he's a little bit suspicious, not
gonna lie for some reason. It's in my gut, it's
telling me there's just something's that up with that. Unfortunately,
you could go ask him and say like, hey, did
you upload this stuff, but you're not going to get
an honest answer. I just get ahold of Reddit and
ask them to take it down and say that you

(18:18):
didn't give any authorization for that to be up, and
see if you can get it taken down, which they will.
They absolutely will. All right, heartbreakers, thanks for listening, See
you guys next time.