September 10, 2024 • 37 mins
Hey, Heartbreakers! Today’s episode is mainly for the girlies and the new moms! Elsa is sitting down with Puerto Rican comedian and new mom Lorena Alexandra Gomez for a super supportive episode. Lorena is going to teach us all how we can support new moms during and after they have a baby, why dating in SoCal is hard and sometimes cringy, and how to help a girl who’s husband blew all their money at a strip club!
Do you have a burning question to ask the Heartbreakers? Call the Heartbreakers Hotline at (833) 566-5577, email us at Heartbreakers@strawhutmedia.com, or tweet us at @HBpodcastlive!
Follow Lorena Alexandra Gomez Here!
If you are struggling with post-partum depression or mental health challenges The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline can help you find the support you might need. Call 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262) 24/7 and always take care of yourself and your loved ones.
Do you have a burning question to ask the Heartbreakers? Call the Heartbreakers Hotline at (833) 566-5577, email us at Heartbreakers@strawhutmedia.com, or tweet us at @HBpodcastlive!
Follow Lorena Alexandra Gomez Here!
If you are struggling with post-partum depression or mental health challenges The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline can help you find the support you might need. Call 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262) 24/7 and always take care of yourself and your loved ones.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Straw Hut Media High Heartbreakers.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
So today have a special guest, Lorena. No, I said
it wrong. Goodnight. I've been said for like the last
ten minutes. I've been trying to roll my R the
way I'm supposed to say it. Lorena. You know Lorena
Gomez right in? Your middle name is Alexandre Alexandra. Yeah, yeah,
nice thing. That's such a pretty name.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
How it flows? You have siblings?
Speaker 3 (00:46):
I have a brother. We're from Puerto Rico and you
moved to Florida.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
How long have you lived in La I know you
live Orange County Ish right, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
It's going to be seventeen years. Oh wow, yeah, I
don't feel Puerto Rican anymore? So long do you go
back and visit?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (01:03):
I go very often. I just bought my grandparents' house
in Puerto Rico. They passed away two years ago and
I was able to do that. It was a mission
I followed through and now we own our house in
Puerto Rico.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Congratulations. So you guys want to move back maybe.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Or not yet. Everything it's up in the air, especially
since I have a baby.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
How old your daughter now?
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Too?
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Okay? Okay, so she's like baby ish, but like can
walk and.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Stuff, can't walk, can't terrorize? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Yeah nice? And I know you're a comedian too. How
long have you been doing that?
Speaker 3 (01:41):
I started two weeks before I found out I was pregnant.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Oh so a little bit later then.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Yeah. I was like, I didn't know I was pregnant.
And I started taking classes, and while going to a
class and I was trying to like riff new content,
I try to make a joke about me being pregnant
and not wanting to be pregnant, and I started crying,
and like everyone was like, is this a joke? This
is not funny. I'm like, I'm pregnant. I don't know
(02:09):
what to do.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
But you didn't know yet. I knew it.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
I found out like right before or a day before,
and I'm like, I'm gonna quit comedy. I don't know
what to do. Like I didn't expect that I was gonna
get pregnant.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Well, why did you want to quit? You can't do
it pregnant.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
It's just like the stigma in Hollywood, Like I'm not
Ali Wong. I could be like, oh yeah, like I
could have three pregnancies and be on stage and rage.
I mean, I literally did not know what I was doing,
and obviously, like your body is changing, you're going through
like all these hormones and past depression that you like
(02:51):
go through too, and you're very vulnerable, like and being
on stage and having a belly on stage.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Yeah that and like people are just waiting for you
guys to mess up, you know what I mean. Like
I really love comedy shows, but I do stuff. There's
times where I'm like I could feel the tension, like
it sometimes it's just not a good crowd where people
just don't find anything funny, Like it doesn't matter if
the joke's truly funny or not, you know what I mean.
Like there's sometimes where people are just so cold and
(03:21):
I can't imagine like being pregnant too, Like that's just yeah,
it's emotional. Just in general.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
It was pretty wild, but I excited to keep going.
I'm like, you know what, like this is a test
and I really wanted to do comedy and I wasn't
gonna give up. Like I'm very resilient and like no
obstacle will comment look in front of me like that
would prevent me to Like I don't know if by yourself.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
You're a go getter that's what it is.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
I try to be, but I I mess up so
many times, hit my head on the ground so many times,
it's almost funny. So that's why I do comedy.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah, yes, And how is it like being a mom?
Just in general? You said your daughter's too and you
said that you didn't want to be pregnant, or you did,
or you were like you just couldn't decide, like now
that she's here, you know.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
It's crazy because I've always been like, you know, like
free spirited, and you know, culturally like my background, my
grandparents race me like Latina culture. It's like you go
to school, you get married, you have kids, like you
become this like housewife. And I was like completely the opposite. Yeah,
(04:34):
So I was like trying to like abide with this
role as it was implanted in my brain. And I
did wanted to get married, but I didn't really care,
you know. And then I get married. I go to
my honeymoon and Indonesian Bali and I'm nice, bro, I
don't want to have a baby. I can live here.
I make friends in like every resort. I was already
(04:57):
learning Baliinese like winging it. And I come back and
it was like a week before the pandemic or we
like traveled through China or a wet market. It was
called Shaman or something like that, and the pandemic happened.
So when that happened, I was like I told my
husband babies, m I don't know, yeah, And he's like,
(05:20):
you know, I married you because you said you want
to have kids, and I'm like.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Oh damn, and I'm like fuck and at this point,
and you guys are just like you're a couple of
weeks into the marriage.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Right, yeah, And the pandemic happened, and I was drinking
to bottles of wine trying to do and you got.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Pregnant and.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
The things like started opening up. And my husband, he
has twins in his family. And I go back to
Puerto Rico and we have like this obg went from
the family. Like i'mlike here, like doctors they really care
about like medicating you and the other money they're Puerto
Rico actually care about you, and like you can see
(06:01):
a doctor until the doctor dies. And I was like, hey, Doug,
what sexual position do I have to do? So I
have twins? And he's like, well, Lorena, in theory, I
liked your enthusiasm.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Yeah, but it doesn't work like that.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Yeah, Like having twins is not that glamorous. And it's like,
you know, at your age you want to have like
you know, kids young some women like go on bed rest.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Yeah it's difficult. Or it could be triplets. What if
you like you just you know, they kick it up
a notch and then all of a sudden, it's three.
I choose already a lot.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
I would need a straight yeah kid, yeah something. So
he told me like that was gonna take me a
while to get pregnant because I was in breath control
for so long. Swear to god, the first month I
got off birth control.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yeah, I swear. They lie about that, like they're always like, oh, no,
you won't get pregnant for a while whatever, and then
you just like I always hear that. Yeah, I think
it helps you get pregnant. It's the birth control as
soon as you get off because it's so regulated that
and then yeah, you're just ready to go. That egg
is just ready to drop.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
But that's exactly what happened.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
So you know, I love that you're from Puerto Rico
because we get to talk about the difference between like
is your husband.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Puerto Rican from Florida?
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Oh Florida?
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Yeah, okay, oh why boy? Not from here? Because guys
here are so well, they're weird.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I was just gonna ask you, is there like a
huge difference between dating, you know, just culture wise, or
there a difference between like Puerto Rican men.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Yeah. I like back when I was in Puerto Rico,
like if I like the guy and like the costume,
would be like you will flirt, throw like kins and
then like pray to God that he noticed you, and
then he'll do like make the first move. Whereas like here,
I was surfing a lot when I first moved out here,
(08:06):
and I would see all this hot men and they
would just look at you and like smile, and I'm
like what the f like.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Like do you like me? Like do you like me? Exactly?
Speaker 3 (08:16):
And I was like so like flabbergasted. I don't even
know that word makes sense in English. Yes, English second language.
But I was talking to like one of my roommates
and she's like, Lorena, like, culturally, men here, you approach them.
I know.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
It's so it's so annoying. But the problem is with
that is that if I have to approach a man,
I already feel like I'm in my in my dominant
position and like my masculine position, and that it will
never work. So I feel like that's why marriages last
longer in other countries. But yes, that's how it is.
You have to go up to them. It's you have
to buy them a drink. You have to like you
(08:51):
have to like take them out to like three dates
before you. It's like, you know, the rules are reversed.
It's like you got to take the guy out to
get some some sex for them at least three times.
They act all like no, like me for me?
Speaker 3 (09:05):
How do you like, do you actually get turned on
by that? I would not to the moment I start
talking to them like, I'm like, oh you pussy, Like
you're a pussy, but yeah, tell me how you would
hit on them.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
I used to send you like shots to guys like
if I liked them, I saw that they were like
noticing me whether I was at a restaurant or like
a bar. I'd send a drink over like seriously, and
then they come over, hey, you know you send me
like That's what guys used to do to me, And
you have to And this is like older meant to
not older, but like you know, somewhat older than me.
I have to do that for them. Or they come
(09:40):
over and like they are so like forceful, Like this
happens all the time where I'm like chill out. Like
I was actually at Wally's.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Do you know that restaurant sounds familiar?
Speaker 2 (09:50):
And my friend's stuff who's over there? She was there,
and we're all sitting there and this guy comes over
and he says, hey, my friend wants to show you
a magic show. When he he comes back, come over
to him and ask him to see the magic show.
And I said no, Like I'm with my friends and
like we could barely ever like get everybody out at once,
so like I'm gonna stay here, like I'm not gonna
go over to your table. We're eating. Then the friend
(10:13):
comes over back again, or he's like waving me over.
He's like the guy in the hat, and I'm just
ignore him, like what I'm not going to run over
to the table and be like, hey, so your friend
told me you want to show Like that's so embarrassing
for me. I'm not gonna do that. And so then
the friend comes back over. He said, you really embarrassed
my friend. He was like, you really embarrassed him. Can
you go to EPLP and meet us there? I said,
(10:35):
tell your friend to come over here and speak to me.
If he wants to take me out, tell him to
come over. Then a third person and another girl come
over and was like, Hey, you really embarrassed him. He
really wants you to meet him a EPLP. And I'm like, bro,
come over if you want to speak to me, come over.
You sent four people.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Now, how old was this person? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
I never went over. They were like and the situation
got so hostile because they kept begging me to go
over to this guy, and I was like, just tell
your friend to come over to me. I'm not gonna
go over there. I'm not. I have too much pride
and I'm alreaty crazy dominant. Like I'm alreaty crazy dominant.
If you can't come over to me and just be like, hey,
what's your number without feeling embarrassed, it's not gonna work.
(11:17):
We're not gonna get past like one sentence, Like seriously, it's.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
Crazy because like this isn't the first time that I
heard like you know a Cali girl or like culturally, yeah,
they entertain that and oh no, no, no, well, I
mean after the first person will come to me, yeah,
I'll be like, bro, give me out of here, Like yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Then like four people like I know, so ridiculous, but
that's just how the guys are. Like they'll send their
friend over and be like, hey, do you want to
go speak to my friend. I'm like, no, I want
your friend to come over. I want your friend to
come over here.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
That's insane, it's so gross. Oh yeah, Like I tried
dating out here and it was just like I got
my heart broken and I just started playing the game.
It's crazy.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
It is. It's like it's not worth it. Just be single. Well,
you're married, you're good. You're married, and you have your baby.
Don't change the subject. Does answers.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
What the fuck is this piece of shit?
Speaker 2 (12:29):
We have hot topics and I really because you have
your baby, and I like this one because I don't
know many people. Well, maybe you want to talk about it,
but it's about postpartum depression affects everyone in the family,
and it says In a new study conducted at the
University Wisconsin Madison, professor Tovah Walsh discover that both parents
(12:49):
of a new baby struggle with the transition to parenthood.
When in seven women are affected by postpartum, as it
turns out, one in ten and feel baby blues. Also,
some men are experiencing a postpartum depression, like it could
show by being avoidant, isolating themselves, spending less time with
(13:10):
their family, using numbing mechanisms to cope. This can include
drinking or throwing themselves into a lot of work cobbies. Yeah,
so I thought this was interesting that they talked about
the husbands or the fathers being affected by postpartum. I
didn't realize that men can also feel like depressed because
(13:34):
I know that that has a lot to do with
the fluctuation and the hormones that caused the postpartum right,
if I'm not wrong, I mean, like, how do you
feel about that? Do you feel like they men do
get depressed or like?
Speaker 3 (13:48):
So, but by definition based on my understanding, because I
had perinatal depression, so yeah, I didn't know that until
like I went through so peri natal the depression is
while you're pregnant, before giving birth, you get depressed.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Yeah, because of the hormones.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
I got hormones denial, like I honestly like I was
just in like another planet. Comedy really helped me in writing.
And then postpartum was worse because I had lost, you know,
to my grandparents.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Yeah, maybe just depression in general though all of it
so like I was almost like hospitalized because I couldn't
like function, but I was like I.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Kept going and going and going.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Yeah, but by.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Definition, postpart and depression is like when a woman. I
mean it's controversial obviously, like, but based on my subjective
understanding of what it is, you're grieving your whole self,
You're losing hormones and like just understanding that your life
will never be again. All the changes that the woman's
body go through is insane. Like it took me two
(15:00):
years to actually feel back to myself. But back to
myself is not true because it's a new self. It's
a new self exactly. So like when I first started
talking about like postpartum depression, I was at this like
birthday and one mom approached me and she's like, my
husband has postpartum depression. And obviously, like if you hear
in on the streets or whatever, like men are gonna
(15:21):
be like what It's like, I'm macho man get depressed,
and like he started talking to me and he's like
the way he was experiencing it sounded again not to
like minimalize like what it was like going through, but
it was just like a confusion and like I guess,
like when you're in sync with your your partner or whatever,
you go through like that highs and lows of like
(15:42):
what pregnancy is. Thankfully my my husband did not go
through that. But science it's completely different, Like, yeah, hasn't
been talked much about like what men go through. But
at this point in time, you know, you haven't heard anything,
Like getting help in California for postpartum depression for women
(16:06):
is nearly impossible.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Yeah, like is there a medication that helps it? They
just subscribe like regular antidepressants, or do they regulate the
hormones or do they do it all or they there's
nothing even they just say watch it see because postpartum
depression is actually dangerous. There's there's sadly, there's women that
have actually killed their children because they haven't been able
(16:27):
to manage it, or it's been ignored, like people can
lose their marriages due to it, and or you just
can't even be a mother yeah, and do you.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Nail that's I went through everything. It's a thing con
like I'm not my baby is not everything, even though
she drives me insane because she's me, but she looks
like my husband, which is insane. It was just a
real like something in my body, like a shadow in
my body. I was scared all the time, Like I
(16:57):
will look at her and I'll be like, oh my god,
like what if if I grab a pillow? And I
know it might be triggering to people, but like these
are I read so much about it, like if I
suffocate my baby or like part of my comedy thing
is like making fun of like what I went through,
and like sometimes I would fantasize about walking into the
four or five, like I just want to party. So
(17:19):
sorry and looking for help, like I like one of
my good friends in comedy she like she's really good
friends with a comedian and she found really good help
in Malibu and like and it's not even like focused
on postpartum depression, but the care there for depression is
so good. Yeah, so there's really not help like for
(17:41):
I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
I'm gonna have to like you know, when this comes out,
I'm gonna have to do some research, honestly and see
if there's even some things that we can put at
the bottom for, like, you know, mothers that are struggling
like a one eight hundred or something. Because yeah, I
have a family member that she never recovered from postpartum depression.
She lost her child. He's in you know, the foster system.
(18:05):
She went on drugs, and I was like her, I
remember when she had them. I'm like, her depression is
so bad. She like she actually tried to run in
front of a car at one point, and we're like,
we thought it was every mental illness, you know, and
I'm looking back, I'm like, that was postpartum depression that
nobody wants to like they'll just say like, okay, then
now your schizophrenic. It jumps, you know. It's never like
(18:25):
let's medicate this person. And and I'm really happy that
you're you're better now, I really am.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
It's like it took so long. Yeah, I mean I
tried like medication, accupuncture, I mean everything, because I was
very committed to like be better, be better. I'm not
saying like other women are not. Yeah, but it's so strong,
so so strong that I never thought I was gonna
(18:55):
get out of it, like I literally they didn't think
I was gonna make it another day. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
And you know what doctors need to do too. I
think it's like they want to explain everything to you
while you're pregnant, but what they don't want to explain
is postpart of depression. I think that they need to
like like hammer that I did people too, so they
can like almost like be like, oh wait, that's what
I have, because I think that it's hard for people
to figure that part out. You know, my brain doesn't
jump like when I'm depressed, like oh I'm actually depressed.
(19:22):
I just think I'm being weird yep. You know, like
literally I'm like, oh my god, I'm just being so weird.
I can't control myself. But it's never like oh wait,
I'm depressed right now or whatever, and.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
The weirdness I can totally relate. I'm like, oh, what
is wrong with me? And it's like, oh, it's like
a normal thing that humans face. And here, like doctors,
they just give you a pamphlet. Yeah no, they're like, Okay,
this is postpart on depression. This is postpartum blues.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Because there's blues and the depression if there's a difference.
Sometimes the blues I'm guessing is just like you're just
a little sad.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
It's like I think it's like a ten days post
like yeah, like post like giving birth to your baby.
But then once it gets over two weeks, then it's
like considered depression. But again, everything's just like it's no
black and white when it comes to mental health, like
you still can figure out like when doctors medicate you,
(20:17):
like they don't know exactly like one neural transmitter, like.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Which one works?
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Yeah, because there's no study, like no one can like
really go into your brain and be like, oh, this
person is like in this and that it's very like
subjective to whoever is caring.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
For you, I know, and like yeah, then they'll be
like try this medication, try this one, try this one,
and then now you're really crazy with the brain patterns
because you've tried three different medications. Like and also like
do you go to a psychologist when you have postpartum
or do you go to your your ob and ask
them about like what to do you know, because it
has to do with that. I feel like there needs
to be a postpartum doctor specifically, Like literally I think
(20:57):
there needs to be someone that's like specializes just in
most part of.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
I literally search for so much help, Like I swear
I if I could have gotten the Pope's number.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
I would help me.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
What it's crazy about? When you get out of the
obg y N, do you have like the six month
or the six week visit and like that one is
like the green.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
Light I can have sex again.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
I didn't even wait either, Like do people do that like.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
This, like you think like two weeks is long enough
or it just depends on the person. Obviously I probably
had like a vibrater that oh you're not even allowed
to masturbate. Oh yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
But like luckily, my my rupture was like very I
was very lucky in terms of like given birth and everything,
but what came after I'd rather have my my vagina
and my buck become one.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
I'm not sorry, please, I know, I'm like, I don't
want to do it.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
Cut that out, please, sorry, Well that's not you.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
You don't have it's not a psy outomy is where
they ye think.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Yeah, so basically I didn't make it for six weeks
jumping into it, and then what they do is they
give you a pamphlet of like ten questions like from
one to ten, I agree or strongly disagree, like have
you thought of like killing yourself? And then like I mean,
it's a questioner. I'm like giving you the gist of
like ten.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Or well, first off, who's gonna markt ten? That's truly
feeling that way. Nobody's gonna you know what I mean,
like you that's not a good I don't think just
handing anyway. Sorry, go on, Oh.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
No, no, you're right, you're right, Like that's not a
true gauge of like mental health assessments, especially when you
have a kid. If you put like I am thinking
about doing this or that, or like I'm super depressed,
I can't live another day. They're gonna take your kid away.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
That's true.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
Yeah, they're gonna take your kid away. So it's like
you have to kind of lie because.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
I didn't even think about that.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
And I have a commun friend that I would like
tell them, and she was she will be like, hey, Lorena,
like be very careful with that because they do, like
the system just takes care of or will get take
them away.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
They will.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Yeah, So I had to like really navigate that carefully.
But Luckily I have, like I found, I went to
group therapy. I went to mom groups in Orange County,
which were completely unrelatable because obvious reasons. But I honestly
did it all and I do want to help other
(23:37):
women that are going through that you should.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
I don't know if there's like charities, I don't know,
you know, I'm a I like this site called better Help.
It's almost like, you know, a zoctoc is kind of
like anyways, it's just for therapists and like even I
think just like cheaming up with them and like because
so people can get therapists and talk about it and
it's like one hundred and fifty for people like for
one session that's very cheap, you know, and like just
(24:01):
little things like that because or just making reels. I
don't know, I like, you know, and just really yeah,
obviously I don't have a kid, so but like if
I were to have POSTPARTU oppression, I feel like that's
where I would go. Unfortunately, is like online trying to
figure out like what I can do and like stuff
like that could really be and it could be healing
(24:23):
for you too.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
Totally, yeah, I've heard of Better Help. What scaries me too.
Is that being online and like talking about subjects like this,
it's a very dark place. Yeah, and a lot oftentimes,
you know, a lot of people have really like ill
intentions and like they would try to like attack your
(24:45):
point of view on certain things based on like your
skill set or like yeah, of course your education. And
it's just very crazy like navigate the media and trying
to like figure out how to like portray a message
that comes out to be positive very objectively, I know,
with minimal opportunities for trolls to like come in because
(25:06):
at the end.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Of its possible, Yeah, that doesn't exist. It doesn't exist.
You could say something that's so nice and there's nothing
that anyone could twist and they will absolutely find a
way or they'll just comment on the way you look
and then and then you know, be like destroy you
in that way if they can't figure out what to
pick through on what you said. That doesn't help depression.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
You know.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Actually, now that I'm thinking about what I just recommended you,
no no, no, no, I mean you shouldn't do that
based on your like skill.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Set and like what you know, like obviously like you
gave really good advice and have you dealt with a
lot of hate from like people online. Ya, how do
you navigate that?
Speaker 2 (25:48):
It's been ten years of it, so I feel like
and I was like severely bullied in high school, like
they would try to beat me up every day, likes
very very violent and very like just horrible. And I'm
used to that since fifteen, So if anything, I use
it as fuel now. Like I had this magazine that
(26:08):
told me that I was supposed to shit the cover
of it, and they're just like, you know, so rude.
The pr person was just going in, you're disgusting your
blah blah blah, and I actually sat there and I
was like, I'm gonna cry, Like I've never had someone
speak to me like this, And I was like, I'm
gonna use it as fuel because guess what, I bet
you one day I can absolutely get on the cover
(26:28):
of that and I won't even say the name, but
I bet you I will be able to just because
you pissed me off enough. So I do use it
as feel I don't. Yeah, it doesn't affect me.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
That's good.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
It really doesn't. But before it used to, like people
would comment like I could have like one stretch mark
like on my hip writs, normal people would be like
I see a stretch mark or I'm like eighteen. You know,
it really did. There was times where I felt very sad.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
Didn't grow all about here.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
No, I grew up in Ohio. Oh yeah, yoah.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
And now that's like a slang for gen Z. So Ohio.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Everybody hates Ohio. No something gross huh Ohio, like.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
Like it's it's lame and it's insane, like they associate
whatever gen Z is going to ruin our lives.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Yeah, I don't know what generation I am. Am. I
I think I might be a gen Z. Am I
a gen Z. I'm ninety six.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
You're millennial for a couple of then yous a millennial?
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Then okay, good, I want to be a millennial, right,
that's better whatever you.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
Want to be okay. No, I mean and obviously like
your success like goes beyond like any Ohio term.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
But it's funny what we were talking about the Ohio.
Speaker 3 (27:44):
Term and getting bullied in Ohio, Like I I don't
know if I want to raise my child in California.
I could not even know. No, imagine, I think you
should homeschool. I think I was thinking, oh my god,
thank you thank you.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
And there's so many different homeschool little groups and I'm
learning more and more about it just through people like
you and like saying it like where they can socialize.
It's almost like borderline going to school but small groups
and stuff like that. But I cannot imagine how mean
kids are today. I can't imagine it, and they were
pretty mean.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
If they have resources for homeschool or no, people, please
let me know.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
I will because seriously, I hopeful talking about it. And
when do they have to go to school? Like is
it like you have a couple of years obviously, so
I like.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
I have friends that you know, a year and a
half two years are already like in school and see
them with universe. That's for me is like truing and
like the stories that I hear and like I want
to make sure, like if it comes down to her
being in school in the system one, it's gonna be
private schooling. Not to sound like no pretentious, it just has.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
To be like that homeschool.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
And I tell people and like they're looking they're looking
at me like oh yeah great, And I'm like I am,
who I am gonna be pretty school homeschool And I
want to make sure that she talks, because there's so
many like Sakos out there, and I've heard stories and
it's just like, I don't know. Being a parent is
the craziest thing. Like you give birth to your biggest
(29:14):
weakness in your life and it's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
I don't want to do it. Everybody that I have.
The more days that pass and the order I get,
I'm just like.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
Don't feel pressure by like the system or like whatever.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
I mean, I feel the opposite. Yeah, like I don't
want to do it at all.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
Good for you, Like not a lot of people know
what they want and what they want to accomplish.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
I think I'm good. I froze my eggs. I talk
a lot about it. I froze my eggs. So so
I feel like I happened two. I'm forty five, amazing.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
I feel like that's so, you have an egg supply,
you're you have a successful podcast. Life is good.
Speaker 4 (29:50):
Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
All right. So we have some fan questions. I twenty male,
recently got into a fight with my girlfriend when I
said that Sabrina Carpenter was my Hollywood wife as a joke.
She does the same thing with a bunch of hot
guys and movies and TVs. I never thought anything of
it when she says it, it's just a joke and
not that deep. Now that I've made this joke, she's
(30:31):
accused me of actually loving her that I'm probably cheating
on her. It feels like a crazy double standard. I'm
pissed about it. What should I do? Do you think
it's a double standard? What do you think you should do?
Speaker 3 (30:42):
I really do think it's a double standard. But I
guess like there's like a like a ridden rule. You know,
guys are not supposed to say that.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Any anything about women whatsoever, never ever. You are a
version like that's like it should be never ever. But
I do think it's a double standard.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
Oh, that really is. I feel like oftentimes, like when
people get so mad about certain things like that they're projecting, Yeah,
so what is that person doing that is so jealous?
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Maybe she's dming the hot guys that.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
She likes and yeah, not adding fuel to the fire.
It's like when you're like very secure in your relationship, like, yeah,
you have like insecurities often, but it sounds that like
they're young.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
And they have to like twenty eight mail. They're not
that young.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
I'm mean, twenty maile in California might as well be eighteen.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Yeah, yeah, you're right, You're right. Okay, So the next
question is I went on a trip to Vegas with
my husband only to find him missing at two am,
with our bank account draamed. My husband and I took
a last minute vacation to Vegas to see a show
I've been dying to see. Right after the show, I
(31:58):
got super tired, so I want to to the room,
and he said he was gonna go gamble for a
bit and then come up. Hours passed, he never came
up to the room. Around two am, I tried to
find him, but his location was off. He wasn't picking
up his phone. Shortly after, I saw that there was
a three thousand dollars charge to our shared bank account
to the strip club in our hotel. About an hour later,
(32:21):
he stumbles into the in our room, piss drunk and
says it's not a big deal and nothing sexual happened.
I don't believe him, and I'm furious. We've been married
for five years and I'm wondering if I should stay
or leave him. Help. First off, I thought they were
which is no better. I thought he was gonna drain
the bank account just from doing slots or something. But
(32:42):
this strip club twist is crazy because he could drain
the bank account at a strip club wherever they live.
They don't got to go to Vegas for that.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
The first thing I would ask is like, give me
like the receipt.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
With well, what if she do, it's already out of
the bank account. Yeah, return, like call the and say
this was a fraud.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
Oh no, just like being like give me an atomize.
Oh yeah, I'm kidding like that. It's impossible, but yeah,
it's completely sketchy. I would suggest therapy.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Mature answer.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
Yeah, simply because like when you go to Vegas after
five years married, like you go to Vegas as a couple,
like you should be able to like have fun together
and like have a healthy balance of.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Like shows gambles. Yeah, maybe they go to the strip
club together whatever.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
And yeah, him turning the location off, that shows malicious intent.
So that gave it away.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
I think that he was seeing an escort. That's why
the location was off. Is that he found an escort
actually at the strip club, and that's really what the
charge is and that's why his location's off. I mean
maybe because he didn't want to admit that he was
at the strip club all night, but he was gonna
have to because of the charge. I think he did
like a good stripper home.
Speaker 3 (34:01):
Yeah, it's like super sketchy, three thousand dollars in Vegas before.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
That, should she stay married?
Speaker 3 (34:07):
I would get an SDD test before making that this issue.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Wow that yeah, yeah, just jumped there. It was therapy
and now it's an STD.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
Yes. At the end of the day, Like when someone
acts like that, it comes from a place of like disrespect. Yeah,
if like your partners stop respecting you, Like, how are
you going to take care of yourself? Right?
Speaker 2 (34:28):
I hate to say it, but I'd get a divorce
over that. And it's not because you went to the
strip club. It's because of the lack of like responsibility
and the money. She said, drain bank account. So it
sounds like that's all they had in their bank account.
Like that lack of like you said, respect and like
just boundaries and control. I don't want to stay married
to someone like that, you know. And I take money
(34:50):
very seriously in a relationship, Like I feel like it
shouldn't be something to just like let's just this one
person spends it this other person work, you know what
I mean, Like I don't like any of that. I'd
get divorced. I get divorced.
Speaker 3 (35:02):
I really would, I agree, I mean I would definitely
go there. Yeah, yeah, I am like, because he's going to.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Do it again, Like it's he's going to do it
again one percent, especially when if he's drunk, like he
can't control himself by himself. It's not like he was
there with his friends. They went as a couple.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
That's so weird.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
It's so weird. All right, guys, So thank you so much. Lorena, Lorena, Lorena.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
Right or no what you learn?
Speaker 4 (35:35):
Yeah, thank you coming today.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
You're amazing, And thank you so much for talking about
the postpartum depression. That's something that I haven't had on
this podcast. And there's a lot of women and moms
and stuff on it, and I think they need to
hear about It's okay if you are depressed like that,
and I'm going to really try to find some stuff
to you know.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
Help them, help them, please do Yeah, especially if you
have like the following and the Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
I will absolutely anything like that. I really, I'll definitely.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
Thank you Elsa so they can find me at my
IG and TikTok is at Lorena from Puerto Rico. I
have a show on Tuesday. It's called d Cups. I'm
trying to like work the the final details, but I'll
send that over is in West Halliday.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
That's oh, I was gonna say, that's in person, right, yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
Person, But yeah, like I post all my shows and
like upcoming shows on my IG or in my IG
whatever and on. But yeah, we'd love to keep talking
to you.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Yeah, absolutely absolutely. I'll let you know anytime I'm in
your area and then let me know whenever you're here.
I guess you'll be in West Hollywood soon, but yeah,
let's definitely stay in touch.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
Amazing, Yeah, thank you, thank you. In the song post
the sad post in the songs
Straw Hut Media High Heartbreakers.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
So today have a special guest, Lorena. No, I said
it wrong. Goodnight. I've been said for like the last
ten minutes. I've been trying to roll my R the
way I'm supposed to say it. Lorena. You know Lorena
Gomez right in? Your middle name is Alexandre Alexandra. Yeah, yeah,
nice thing. That's such a pretty name.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
How it flows? You have siblings?
Speaker 3 (00:46):
I have a brother. We're from Puerto Rico and you
moved to Florida.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
How long have you lived in La I know you
live Orange County Ish right, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
It's going to be seventeen years. Oh wow, yeah, I
don't feel Puerto Rican anymore? So long do you go
back and visit?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (01:03):
I go very often. I just bought my grandparents' house
in Puerto Rico. They passed away two years ago and
I was able to do that. It was a mission
I followed through and now we own our house in
Puerto Rico.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Congratulations. So you guys want to move back maybe.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Or not yet. Everything it's up in the air, especially
since I have a baby.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
How old your daughter now?
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Too?
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Okay? Okay, so she's like baby ish, but like can
walk and.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Stuff, can't walk, can't terrorize? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Yeah nice? And I know you're a comedian too. How
long have you been doing that?
Speaker 3 (01:41):
I started two weeks before I found out I was pregnant.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Oh so a little bit later then.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Yeah. I was like, I didn't know I was pregnant.
And I started taking classes, and while going to a
class and I was trying to like riff new content,
I try to make a joke about me being pregnant
and not wanting to be pregnant, and I started crying,
and like everyone was like, is this a joke? This
is not funny. I'm like, I'm pregnant. I don't know
(02:09):
what to do.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
But you didn't know yet. I knew it.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
I found out like right before or a day before,
and I'm like, I'm gonna quit comedy. I don't know
what to do. Like I didn't expect that I was gonna
get pregnant.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Well, why did you want to quit? You can't do
it pregnant.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
It's just like the stigma in Hollywood, Like I'm not
Ali Wong. I could be like, oh yeah, like I
could have three pregnancies and be on stage and rage.
I mean, I literally did not know what I was doing,
and obviously, like your body is changing, you're going through
like all these hormones and past depression that you like
(02:51):
go through too, and you're very vulnerable, like and being
on stage and having a belly on stage.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Yeah that and like people are just waiting for you
guys to mess up, you know what I mean. Like
I really love comedy shows, but I do stuff. There's
times where I'm like I could feel the tension, like
it sometimes it's just not a good crowd where people
just don't find anything funny, Like it doesn't matter if
the joke's truly funny or not, you know what I mean.
Like there's sometimes where people are just so cold and
(03:21):
I can't imagine like being pregnant too, Like that's just yeah,
it's emotional. Just in general.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
It was pretty wild, but I excited to keep going.
I'm like, you know what, like this is a test
and I really wanted to do comedy and I wasn't
gonna give up. Like I'm very resilient and like no
obstacle will comment look in front of me like that
would prevent me to Like I don't know if by yourself.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
You're a go getter that's what it is.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
I try to be, but I I mess up so
many times, hit my head on the ground so many times,
it's almost funny. So that's why I do comedy.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah, yes, And how is it like being a mom?
Just in general? You said your daughter's too and you
said that you didn't want to be pregnant, or you did,
or you were like you just couldn't decide, like now
that she's here, you know.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
It's crazy because I've always been like, you know, like
free spirited, and you know, culturally like my background, my
grandparents race me like Latina culture. It's like you go
to school, you get married, you have kids, like you
become this like housewife. And I was like completely the opposite. Yeah,
(04:34):
So I was like trying to like abide with this
role as it was implanted in my brain. And I
did wanted to get married, but I didn't really care,
you know. And then I get married. I go to
my honeymoon and Indonesian Bali and I'm nice, bro, I
don't want to have a baby. I can live here.
I make friends in like every resort. I was already
(04:57):
learning Baliinese like winging it. And I come back and
it was like a week before the pandemic or we
like traveled through China or a wet market. It was
called Shaman or something like that, and the pandemic happened.
So when that happened, I was like I told my
husband babies, m I don't know, yeah, And he's like,
(05:20):
you know, I married you because you said you want
to have kids, and I'm like.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Oh damn, and I'm like fuck and at this point,
and you guys are just like you're a couple of
weeks into the marriage.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Right, yeah, And the pandemic happened, and I was drinking
to bottles of wine trying to do and you got.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Pregnant and.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
The things like started opening up. And my husband, he
has twins in his family. And I go back to
Puerto Rico and we have like this obg went from
the family. Like i'mlike here, like doctors they really care
about like medicating you and the other money they're Puerto
Rico actually care about you, and like you can see
(06:01):
a doctor until the doctor dies. And I was like, hey, Doug,
what sexual position do I have to do? So I
have twins? And he's like, well, Lorena, in theory, I
liked your enthusiasm.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Yeah, but it doesn't work like that.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Yeah, Like having twins is not that glamorous. And it's like,
you know, at your age you want to have like
you know, kids young some women like go on bed rest.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Yeah it's difficult. Or it could be triplets. What if
you like you just you know, they kick it up
a notch and then all of a sudden, it's three.
I choose already a lot.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
I would need a straight yeah kid, yeah something. So
he told me like that was gonna take me a
while to get pregnant because I was in breath control
for so long. Swear to god, the first month I
got off birth control.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yeah, I swear. They lie about that, like they're always like, oh, no,
you won't get pregnant for a while whatever, and then
you just like I always hear that. Yeah, I think
it helps you get pregnant. It's the birth control as
soon as you get off because it's so regulated that
and then yeah, you're just ready to go. That egg
is just ready to drop.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
But that's exactly what happened.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
So you know, I love that you're from Puerto Rico
because we get to talk about the difference between like
is your husband.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Puerto Rican from Florida?
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Oh Florida?
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Yeah, okay, oh why boy? Not from here? Because guys
here are so well, they're weird.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I was just gonna ask you, is there like a
huge difference between dating, you know, just culture wise, or
there a difference between like Puerto Rican men.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Yeah. I like back when I was in Puerto Rico,
like if I like the guy and like the costume,
would be like you will flirt, throw like kins and
then like pray to God that he noticed you, and
then he'll do like make the first move. Whereas like here,
I was surfing a lot when I first moved out here,
(08:06):
and I would see all this hot men and they
would just look at you and like smile, and I'm
like what the f like.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Like do you like me? Like do you like me? Exactly?
Speaker 3 (08:16):
And I was like so like flabbergasted. I don't even
know that word makes sense in English. Yes, English second language.
But I was talking to like one of my roommates
and she's like, Lorena, like, culturally, men here, you approach them.
I know.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
It's so it's so annoying. But the problem is with
that is that if I have to approach a man,
I already feel like I'm in my in my dominant
position and like my masculine position, and that it will
never work. So I feel like that's why marriages last
longer in other countries. But yes, that's how it is.
You have to go up to them. It's you have
to buy them a drink. You have to like you
(08:51):
have to like take them out to like three dates
before you. It's like, you know, the rules are reversed.
It's like you got to take the guy out to
get some some sex for them at least three times.
They act all like no, like me for me?
Speaker 3 (09:05):
How do you like, do you actually get turned on
by that? I would not to the moment I start
talking to them like, I'm like, oh you pussy, Like
you're a pussy, but yeah, tell me how you would
hit on them.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
I used to send you like shots to guys like
if I liked them, I saw that they were like
noticing me whether I was at a restaurant or like
a bar. I'd send a drink over like seriously, and
then they come over, hey, you know you send me
like That's what guys used to do to me, And
you have to And this is like older meant to
not older, but like you know, somewhat older than me.
I have to do that for them. Or they come
(09:40):
over and like they are so like forceful, Like this
happens all the time where I'm like chill out. Like
I was actually at Wally's.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Do you know that restaurant sounds familiar?
Speaker 2 (09:50):
And my friend's stuff who's over there? She was there,
and we're all sitting there and this guy comes over
and he says, hey, my friend wants to show you
a magic show. When he he comes back, come over
to him and ask him to see the magic show.
And I said no, Like I'm with my friends and
like we could barely ever like get everybody out at once,
so like I'm gonna stay here, like I'm not gonna
go over to your table. We're eating. Then the friend
(10:13):
comes over back again, or he's like waving me over.
He's like the guy in the hat, and I'm just
ignore him, like what I'm not going to run over
to the table and be like, hey, so your friend
told me you want to show Like that's so embarrassing
for me. I'm not gonna do that. And so then
the friend comes back over. He said, you really embarrassed
my friend. He was like, you really embarrassed him. Can
you go to EPLP and meet us there? I said,
(10:35):
tell your friend to come over here and speak to me.
If he wants to take me out, tell him to
come over. Then a third person and another girl come
over and was like, Hey, you really embarrassed him. He
really wants you to meet him a EPLP. And I'm like, bro,
come over if you want to speak to me, come over.
You sent four people.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Now, how old was this person? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
I never went over. They were like and the situation
got so hostile because they kept begging me to go
over to this guy, and I was like, just tell
your friend to come over to me. I'm not gonna
go over there. I'm not. I have too much pride
and I'm alreaty crazy dominant. Like I'm alreaty crazy dominant.
If you can't come over to me and just be like, hey,
what's your number without feeling embarrassed, it's not gonna work.
(11:17):
We're not gonna get past like one sentence, Like seriously, it's.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
Crazy because like this isn't the first time that I
heard like you know a Cali girl or like culturally, yeah,
they entertain that and oh no, no, no, well, I
mean after the first person will come to me, yeah,
I'll be like, bro, give me out of here, Like yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Then like four people like I know, so ridiculous, but
that's just how the guys are. Like they'll send their
friend over and be like, hey, do you want to
go speak to my friend. I'm like, no, I want
your friend to come over. I want your friend to
come over here.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
That's insane, it's so gross. Oh yeah, Like I tried
dating out here and it was just like I got
my heart broken and I just started playing the game.
It's crazy.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
It is. It's like it's not worth it. Just be single. Well,
you're married, you're good. You're married, and you have your baby.
Don't change the subject. Does answers.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
What the fuck is this piece of shit?
Speaker 2 (12:29):
We have hot topics and I really because you have
your baby, and I like this one because I don't
know many people. Well, maybe you want to talk about it,
but it's about postpartum depression affects everyone in the family,
and it says In a new study conducted at the
University Wisconsin Madison, professor Tovah Walsh discover that both parents
(12:49):
of a new baby struggle with the transition to parenthood.
When in seven women are affected by postpartum, as it
turns out, one in ten and feel baby blues. Also,
some men are experiencing a postpartum depression, like it could
show by being avoidant, isolating themselves, spending less time with
(13:10):
their family, using numbing mechanisms to cope. This can include
drinking or throwing themselves into a lot of work cobbies. Yeah,
so I thought this was interesting that they talked about
the husbands or the fathers being affected by postpartum. I
didn't realize that men can also feel like depressed because
(13:34):
I know that that has a lot to do with
the fluctuation and the hormones that caused the postpartum right,
if I'm not wrong, I mean, like, how do you
feel about that? Do you feel like they men do
get depressed or like?
Speaker 3 (13:48):
So, but by definition based on my understanding, because I
had perinatal depression, so yeah, I didn't know that until
like I went through so peri natal the depression is
while you're pregnant, before giving birth, you get depressed.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Yeah, because of the hormones.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
I got hormones denial, like I honestly like I was
just in like another planet. Comedy really helped me in writing.
And then postpartum was worse because I had lost, you know,
to my grandparents.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Yeah, maybe just depression in general though all of it
so like I was almost like hospitalized because I couldn't
like function, but I was like I.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Kept going and going and going.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Yeah, but by.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Definition, postpart and depression is like when a woman. I
mean it's controversial obviously, like, but based on my subjective
understanding of what it is, you're grieving your whole self,
You're losing hormones and like just understanding that your life
will never be again. All the changes that the woman's
body go through is insane. Like it took me two
(15:00):
years to actually feel back to myself. But back to
myself is not true because it's a new self. It's
a new self exactly. So like when I first started
talking about like postpartum depression, I was at this like
birthday and one mom approached me and she's like, my
husband has postpartum depression. And obviously, like if you hear
in on the streets or whatever, like men are gonna
(15:21):
be like what It's like, I'm macho man get depressed,
and like he started talking to me and he's like
the way he was experiencing it sounded again not to
like minimalize like what it was like going through, but
it was just like a confusion and like I guess,
like when you're in sync with your your partner or whatever,
you go through like that highs and lows of like
(15:42):
what pregnancy is. Thankfully my my husband did not go
through that. But science it's completely different, Like, yeah, hasn't
been talked much about like what men go through. But
at this point in time, you know, you haven't heard anything,
Like getting help in California for postpartum depression for women
(16:06):
is nearly impossible.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Yeah, like is there a medication that helps it? They
just subscribe like regular antidepressants, or do they regulate the
hormones or do they do it all or they there's
nothing even they just say watch it see because postpartum
depression is actually dangerous. There's there's sadly, there's women that
have actually killed their children because they haven't been able
(16:27):
to manage it, or it's been ignored, like people can
lose their marriages due to it, and or you just
can't even be a mother yeah, and do you.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Nail that's I went through everything. It's a thing con
like I'm not my baby is not everything, even though
she drives me insane because she's me, but she looks
like my husband, which is insane. It was just a
real like something in my body, like a shadow in
my body. I was scared all the time, Like I
(16:57):
will look at her and I'll be like, oh my god,
like what if if I grab a pillow? And I
know it might be triggering to people, but like these
are I read so much about it, like if I
suffocate my baby or like part of my comedy thing
is like making fun of like what I went through,
and like sometimes I would fantasize about walking into the
four or five, like I just want to party. So
(17:19):
sorry and looking for help, like I like one of
my good friends in comedy she like she's really good
friends with a comedian and she found really good help
in Malibu and like and it's not even like focused
on postpartum depression, but the care there for depression is
so good. Yeah, so there's really not help like for
(17:41):
I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
I'm gonna have to like you know, when this comes out,
I'm gonna have to do some research, honestly and see
if there's even some things that we can put at
the bottom for, like, you know, mothers that are struggling
like a one eight hundred or something. Because yeah, I
have a family member that she never recovered from postpartum depression.
She lost her child. He's in you know, the foster system.
(18:05):
She went on drugs, and I was like her, I
remember when she had them. I'm like, her depression is
so bad. She like she actually tried to run in
front of a car at one point, and we're like,
we thought it was every mental illness, you know, and
I'm looking back, I'm like, that was postpartum depression that
nobody wants to like they'll just say like, okay, then
now your schizophrenic. It jumps, you know. It's never like
(18:25):
let's medicate this person. And and I'm really happy that
you're you're better now, I really am.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
It's like it took so long. Yeah, I mean I
tried like medication, accupuncture, I mean everything, because I was
very committed to like be better, be better. I'm not
saying like other women are not. Yeah, but it's so strong,
so so strong that I never thought I was gonna
(18:55):
get out of it, like I literally they didn't think
I was gonna make it another day. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
And you know what doctors need to do too. I
think it's like they want to explain everything to you
while you're pregnant, but what they don't want to explain
is postpart of depression. I think that they need to
like like hammer that I did people too, so they
can like almost like be like, oh wait, that's what
I have, because I think that it's hard for people
to figure that part out. You know, my brain doesn't
jump like when I'm depressed, like oh I'm actually depressed.
(19:22):
I just think I'm being weird yep. You know, like
literally I'm like, oh my god, I'm just being so weird.
I can't control myself. But it's never like oh wait,
I'm depressed right now or whatever, and.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
The weirdness I can totally relate. I'm like, oh, what
is wrong with me? And it's like, oh, it's like
a normal thing that humans face. And here, like doctors,
they just give you a pamphlet. Yeah no, they're like, Okay,
this is postpart on depression. This is postpartum blues.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Because there's blues and the depression if there's a difference.
Sometimes the blues I'm guessing is just like you're just
a little sad.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
It's like I think it's like a ten days post
like yeah, like post like giving birth to your baby.
But then once it gets over two weeks, then it's
like considered depression. But again, everything's just like it's no
black and white when it comes to mental health, like
you still can figure out like when doctors medicate you,
(20:17):
like they don't know exactly like one neural transmitter, like.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Which one works?
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Yeah, because there's no study, like no one can like
really go into your brain and be like, oh, this
person is like in this and that it's very like
subjective to whoever is caring.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
For you, I know, and like yeah, then they'll be
like try this medication, try this one, try this one,
and then now you're really crazy with the brain patterns
because you've tried three different medications. Like and also like
do you go to a psychologist when you have postpartum
or do you go to your your ob and ask
them about like what to do you know, because it
has to do with that. I feel like there needs
to be a postpartum doctor specifically, Like literally I think
(20:57):
there needs to be someone that's like specializes just in
most part of.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
I literally search for so much help, Like I swear
I if I could have gotten the Pope's number.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
I would help me.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
What it's crazy about? When you get out of the
obg y N, do you have like the six month
or the six week visit and like that one is
like the green.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
Light I can have sex again.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
I didn't even wait either, Like do people do that like.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
This, like you think like two weeks is long enough
or it just depends on the person. Obviously I probably
had like a vibrater that oh you're not even allowed
to masturbate. Oh yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
But like luckily, my my rupture was like very I
was very lucky in terms of like given birth and everything,
but what came after I'd rather have my my vagina
and my buck become one.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
I'm not sorry, please, I know, I'm like, I don't
want to do it.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
Cut that out, please, sorry, Well that's not you.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
You don't have it's not a psy outomy is where
they ye think.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Yeah, so basically I didn't make it for six weeks
jumping into it, and then what they do is they
give you a pamphlet of like ten questions like from
one to ten, I agree or strongly disagree, like have
you thought of like killing yourself? And then like I mean,
it's a questioner. I'm like giving you the gist of
like ten.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Or well, first off, who's gonna markt ten? That's truly
feeling that way. Nobody's gonna you know what I mean,
like you that's not a good I don't think just
handing anyway. Sorry, go on, Oh.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
No, no, you're right, you're right, Like that's not a
true gauge of like mental health assessments, especially when you
have a kid. If you put like I am thinking
about doing this or that, or like I'm super depressed,
I can't live another day. They're gonna take your kid away.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
That's true.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
Yeah, they're gonna take your kid away. So it's like
you have to kind of lie because.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
I didn't even think about that.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
And I have a commun friend that I would like
tell them, and she was she will be like, hey, Lorena,
like be very careful with that because they do, like
the system just takes care of or will get take
them away.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
They will.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Yeah, So I had to like really navigate that carefully.
But Luckily I have, like I found, I went to
group therapy. I went to mom groups in Orange County,
which were completely unrelatable because obvious reasons. But I honestly
did it all and I do want to help other
(23:37):
women that are going through that you should.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
I don't know if there's like charities, I don't know,
you know, I'm a I like this site called better Help.
It's almost like, you know, a zoctoc is kind of
like anyways, it's just for therapists and like even I
think just like cheaming up with them and like because
so people can get therapists and talk about it and
it's like one hundred and fifty for people like for
one session that's very cheap, you know, and like just
(24:01):
little things like that because or just making reels. I
don't know, I like, you know, and just really yeah,
obviously I don't have a kid, so but like if
I were to have POSTPARTU oppression, I feel like that's
where I would go. Unfortunately, is like online trying to
figure out like what I can do and like stuff
like that could really be and it could be healing
(24:23):
for you too.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
Totally, yeah, I've heard of Better Help. What scaries me too.
Is that being online and like talking about subjects like this,
it's a very dark place. Yeah, and a lot oftentimes,
you know, a lot of people have really like ill
intentions and like they would try to like attack your
(24:45):
point of view on certain things based on like your
skill set or like yeah, of course your education. And
it's just very crazy like navigate the media and trying
to like figure out how to like portray a message
that comes out to be positive very objectively, I know,
with minimal opportunities for trolls to like come in because
(25:06):
at the end.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Of its possible, Yeah, that doesn't exist. It doesn't exist.
You could say something that's so nice and there's nothing
that anyone could twist and they will absolutely find a
way or they'll just comment on the way you look
and then and then you know, be like destroy you
in that way if they can't figure out what to
pick through on what you said. That doesn't help depression.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
You know.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Actually, now that I'm thinking about what I just recommended you,
no no, no, no, I mean you shouldn't do that
based on your like skill.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Set and like what you know, like obviously like you
gave really good advice and have you dealt with a
lot of hate from like people online. Ya, how do
you navigate that?
Speaker 2 (25:48):
It's been ten years of it, so I feel like
and I was like severely bullied in high school, like
they would try to beat me up every day, likes
very very violent and very like just horrible. And I'm
used to that since fifteen, So if anything, I use
it as fuel now. Like I had this magazine that
(26:08):
told me that I was supposed to shit the cover
of it, and they're just like, you know, so rude.
The pr person was just going in, you're disgusting your
blah blah blah, and I actually sat there and I
was like, I'm gonna cry, Like I've never had someone
speak to me like this, And I was like, I'm
gonna use it as fuel because guess what, I bet
you one day I can absolutely get on the cover
(26:28):
of that and I won't even say the name, but
I bet you I will be able to just because
you pissed me off enough. So I do use it
as feel I don't. Yeah, it doesn't affect me.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
That's good.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
It really doesn't. But before it used to, like people
would comment like I could have like one stretch mark
like on my hip writs, normal people would be like
I see a stretch mark or I'm like eighteen. You know,
it really did. There was times where I felt very sad.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
Didn't grow all about here.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
No, I grew up in Ohio. Oh yeah, yoah.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
And now that's like a slang for gen Z. So Ohio.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Everybody hates Ohio. No something gross huh Ohio, like.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
Like it's it's lame and it's insane, like they associate
whatever gen Z is going to ruin our lives.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Yeah, I don't know what generation I am. Am. I
I think I might be a gen Z. Am I
a gen Z. I'm ninety six.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
You're millennial for a couple of then yous a millennial?
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Then okay, good, I want to be a millennial, right,
that's better whatever you.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
Want to be okay. No, I mean and obviously like
your success like goes beyond like any Ohio term.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
But it's funny what we were talking about the Ohio.
Speaker 3 (27:44):
Term and getting bullied in Ohio, Like I I don't
know if I want to raise my child in California.
I could not even know. No, imagine, I think you
should homeschool. I think I was thinking, oh my god,
thank you thank you.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
And there's so many different homeschool little groups and I'm
learning more and more about it just through people like
you and like saying it like where they can socialize.
It's almost like borderline going to school but small groups
and stuff like that. But I cannot imagine how mean
kids are today. I can't imagine it, and they were
pretty mean.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
If they have resources for homeschool or no, people, please
let me know.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
I will because seriously, I hopeful talking about it. And
when do they have to go to school? Like is
it like you have a couple of years obviously, so
I like.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
I have friends that you know, a year and a
half two years are already like in school and see
them with universe. That's for me is like truing and
like the stories that I hear and like I want
to make sure, like if it comes down to her
being in school in the system one, it's gonna be
private schooling. Not to sound like no pretentious, it just has.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
To be like that homeschool.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
And I tell people and like they're looking they're looking
at me like oh yeah great, And I'm like I am,
who I am gonna be pretty school homeschool And I
want to make sure that she talks, because there's so
many like Sakos out there, and I've heard stories and
it's just like, I don't know. Being a parent is
the craziest thing. Like you give birth to your biggest
(29:14):
weakness in your life and it's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
I don't want to do it. Everybody that I have.
The more days that pass and the order I get,
I'm just like.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
Don't feel pressure by like the system or like whatever.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
I mean, I feel the opposite. Yeah, like I don't
want to do it at all.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
Good for you, Like not a lot of people know
what they want and what they want to accomplish.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
I think I'm good. I froze my eggs. I talk
a lot about it. I froze my eggs. So so
I feel like I happened two. I'm forty five, amazing.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
I feel like that's so, you have an egg supply,
you're you have a successful podcast. Life is good.
Speaker 4 (29:50):
Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
All right. So we have some fan questions. I twenty male,
recently got into a fight with my girlfriend when I
said that Sabrina Carpenter was my Hollywood wife as a joke.
She does the same thing with a bunch of hot
guys and movies and TVs. I never thought anything of
it when she says it, it's just a joke and
not that deep. Now that I've made this joke, she's
(30:31):
accused me of actually loving her that I'm probably cheating
on her. It feels like a crazy double standard. I'm
pissed about it. What should I do? Do you think
it's a double standard? What do you think you should do?
Speaker 3 (30:42):
I really do think it's a double standard. But I
guess like there's like a like a ridden rule. You know,
guys are not supposed to say that.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Any anything about women whatsoever, never ever. You are a
version like that's like it should be never ever. But
I do think it's a double standard.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
Oh, that really is. I feel like oftentimes, like when
people get so mad about certain things like that they're projecting, Yeah,
so what is that person doing that is so jealous?
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Maybe she's dming the hot guys that.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
She likes and yeah, not adding fuel to the fire.
It's like when you're like very secure in your relationship, like, yeah,
you have like insecurities often, but it sounds that like
they're young.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
And they have to like twenty eight mail. They're not
that young.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
I'm mean, twenty maile in California might as well be eighteen.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Yeah, yeah, you're right, You're right. Okay, So the next
question is I went on a trip to Vegas with
my husband only to find him missing at two am,
with our bank account draamed. My husband and I took
a last minute vacation to Vegas to see a show
I've been dying to see. Right after the show, I
(31:58):
got super tired, so I want to to the room,
and he said he was gonna go gamble for a
bit and then come up. Hours passed, he never came
up to the room. Around two am, I tried to
find him, but his location was off. He wasn't picking
up his phone. Shortly after, I saw that there was
a three thousand dollars charge to our shared bank account
to the strip club in our hotel. About an hour later,
(32:21):
he stumbles into the in our room, piss drunk and
says it's not a big deal and nothing sexual happened.
I don't believe him, and I'm furious. We've been married
for five years and I'm wondering if I should stay
or leave him. Help. First off, I thought they were
which is no better. I thought he was gonna drain
the bank account just from doing slots or something. But
(32:42):
this strip club twist is crazy because he could drain
the bank account at a strip club wherever they live.
They don't got to go to Vegas for that.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
The first thing I would ask is like, give me
like the receipt.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
With well, what if she do, it's already out of
the bank account. Yeah, return, like call the and say
this was a fraud.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
Oh no, just like being like give me an atomize.
Oh yeah, I'm kidding like that. It's impossible, but yeah,
it's completely sketchy. I would suggest therapy.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Mature answer.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
Yeah, simply because like when you go to Vegas after
five years married, like you go to Vegas as a couple,
like you should be able to like have fun together
and like have a healthy balance of.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Like shows gambles. Yeah, maybe they go to the strip
club together whatever.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
And yeah, him turning the location off, that shows malicious intent.
So that gave it away.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
I think that he was seeing an escort. That's why
the location was off. Is that he found an escort
actually at the strip club, and that's really what the
charge is and that's why his location's off. I mean
maybe because he didn't want to admit that he was
at the strip club all night, but he was gonna
have to because of the charge. I think he did
like a good stripper home.
Speaker 3 (34:01):
Yeah, it's like super sketchy, three thousand dollars in Vegas before.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
That, should she stay married?
Speaker 3 (34:07):
I would get an SDD test before making that this issue.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Wow that yeah, yeah, just jumped there. It was therapy
and now it's an STD.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
Yes. At the end of the day, Like when someone
acts like that, it comes from a place of like disrespect. Yeah,
if like your partners stop respecting you, Like, how are
you going to take care of yourself? Right?
Speaker 2 (34:28):
I hate to say it, but I'd get a divorce
over that. And it's not because you went to the
strip club. It's because of the lack of like responsibility
and the money. She said, drain bank account. So it
sounds like that's all they had in their bank account.
Like that lack of like you said, respect and like
just boundaries and control. I don't want to stay married
to someone like that, you know. And I take money
(34:50):
very seriously in a relationship, Like I feel like it
shouldn't be something to just like let's just this one
person spends it this other person work, you know what
I mean, Like I don't like any of that. I'd
get divorced. I get divorced.
Speaker 3 (35:02):
I really would, I agree, I mean I would definitely
go there. Yeah, yeah, I am like, because he's going to.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Do it again, Like it's he's going to do it
again one percent, especially when if he's drunk, like he
can't control himself by himself. It's not like he was
there with his friends. They went as a couple.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
That's so weird.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
It's so weird. All right, guys, So thank you so much. Lorena, Lorena, Lorena.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
Right or no what you learn?
Speaker 4 (35:35):
Yeah, thank you coming today.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
You're amazing, And thank you so much for talking about
the postpartum depression. That's something that I haven't had on
this podcast. And there's a lot of women and moms
and stuff on it, and I think they need to
hear about It's okay if you are depressed like that,
and I'm going to really try to find some stuff
to you know.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
Help them, help them, please do Yeah, especially if you
have like the following and the Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
I will absolutely anything like that. I really, I'll definitely.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
Thank you Elsa so they can find me at my
IG and TikTok is at Lorena from Puerto Rico. I
have a show on Tuesday. It's called d Cups. I'm
trying to like work the the final details, but I'll
send that over is in West Halliday.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
That's oh, I was gonna say, that's in person, right, yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
Person, But yeah, like I post all my shows and
like upcoming shows on my IG or in my IG
whatever and on. But yeah, we'd love to keep talking
to you.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Yeah, absolutely absolutely. I'll let you know anytime I'm in
your area and then let me know whenever you're here.
I guess you'll be in West Hollywood soon, but yeah,
let's definitely stay in touch.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
Amazing, Yeah, thank you, thank you. In the song post
the sad post in the songs
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