July 30, 2024 • 45 mins
Hey Heartbreakers we have a special guest this week! You may have seen her golf content on IG or maybe you’ve seen her somewhere a bit more private. Either way, Steph Mi is joining Elsa today to talk about her show House of Heat, when you should tell someone you love them in a relationship, and how to tell a friend you don’t want to be a part of their bedroom life.
Do you have a burning question to ask the Heartbreakers? Call the Heartbreakers Hotline at (833) 566-5577, email us at Heartbreakers@strawhutmedia.com, or tweet us at @HBpodcastlive!
Do you have a burning question to ask the Heartbreakers? Call the Heartbreakers Hotline at (833) 566-5577, email us at Heartbreakers@strawhutmedia.com, or tweet us at @HBpodcastlive!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Straw Media.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hey, Heartbreakers, I'm back with another episode with Steph Me.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Steph is a.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Golf and sports influencer, right, and you were on House
of He that's with to be right, Okay, I'm very cute.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
We're on episode eight.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
So are you're you're not currently filming it? You had
filmed it and now it's out.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Now it's out, and it's have you ever seen Real World?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Well, you know what I saw the trailer. I'm not
gonna lie and I won't say.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
After we discuss things, we're gonna be like, Okay, I'm
gonna run to my TV and watch this. But like
I try to explain it the best I can. When
people are like I've seen tiktoks and videos on Instagram.
People are like, it's the challenge, what's the prize, I'm like,
am I gonna swear? Yeah? Right, they're swearing at I'm like, listen,
(01:09):
you idiots, Like not everything's a challenge. There's not always
a reward. Like let's go back to the old school,
like reality shows when people are shoved in a house,
not forced, but like we chose to be there. We
were shoved in a house and we literally like just
are in a house, dealing with each other like it's
like the real world but on crack. So that's the rundown.
(01:31):
It's it's of models, right, So our common denominator is
of for sure. We're all creators of all sorts, of
every avenue. You know. Some people do YouTube, a lot
of us do a lot of the same things. But yes,
our common denominator is only fans, for sure. But we're
all different kinds, implied, explicit, Uh, everything you can think
(01:54):
of under the sun. So then what are you supposed
to be doing. You're just supposed to live in the
house and then just see what you and you have
real world I have. Yeah, it's like that. We're like,
then we're supposed to We're not supposed to be doing anything.
We we are. That was my show. I don't know
about you guys, but that was the ship. That was
like literally everyone's show. So that's how I was like
(02:15):
almost introduced, like what the show was about the first season,
so no one knew what to do, no one knew anything.
There was no background to it. We just were thrown
in a house and we just live like we just
have food. I mean, it was like living through food.
I'm just like like I wake up their suit. I
do have a bed. I'm the only one in the
house that has I actually showed up second. I'm the
(02:38):
only one in the house that has their own room.
Oh so people have to share rooms? Yeah, oh hell.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
Oh I know.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
So I thought that, you know, like a lot of
other people are like, oh, and this is gonna be terrible.
We have to share bathrooms, we have to share this.
I'm the only one in the house that Luckily I
show up second to the house and I'm a mom
and I have to you know, I like to get
on my FaceTime calls with my daughter, like I have.
She's four, Okay, so she's young. Yeah, she's Yeah. So
(03:06):
it was really important, Like I didn't want like drinking
and drama in my room with another room, you know,
like I want to be able to sit there and
like talk to her and call her and stuff. So
I was like, thank goodness, I had my own room.
I did not have my own bathroom. Everyone had to.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
What's so important you think your own bathroom or your
own room. I'd say own bathroom, but that she no.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
I wanted to say my own bathroom. And at first
I was like, well, I mean not everyone had their
own bathroom.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
There was.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
It was shared, so you had to walk through doors.
Bathrooms are center of everyone's room, so you had to
walk through rooms to get to the bathroom. The first
floor was a shared bathroom. The second floor it is
another shared bathroom. So two bathrooms in the house. Yes,
and how many people? Nine nine? No way are you
llowed to go home if you want to or you
have to stay at the house. You have to. You're
(03:52):
required to stay at the house for how many days
we were there? It was pushing three months? Yeah, I
was pushing like three month. Yeah, we didn't know. No
one knew because there was never a show like this,
you know, so no one even producers like everything, we
didn't know. We're just kind of playing by ear on
how things were going to go. If it was like
what if it was boring for four weeks? You know,
(04:13):
oh my god, what would you say? I was like, Fuck,
this is not going to be fucking boring? Is this
for real? This is this scripted? Is this like you
know it's not scripted.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
There was tons of alcohol, I'm guessing like everybody was.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
There was more alcohol than food. Yeah, you know, that's
why I say I think, but I just like, would
just see alcohol all the time. I'm not a huge drinker.
I just want to get Asian glow, okay. Thing, it's
like that's when the skin gets red. Yeah right, I
get that when I drink wine. Okay, So we take
like a pepsid or an acid anything that's like a
(04:47):
zantac or something to help what you're saying. But you
can't do that every day. So I can't drink every
day actually, but.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
Yeah, I.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Love my glasses of wine. Don't get me wrong, I
love all that. But yeah, there's there's definitely a lot
of alcohol, just a lot of drama. Drama. I can't
wat scripted fucking drama. I'm gonna tell you these next
two episodes, you're okay, I gotta love Me, no pun intended.
I got to catch up if you're on Love Me
episode eight, right, yeah, an episode eight, Yeah, I'll watch.
(05:18):
I'll binge watch it all in one day. Yeah, you
can get with that, and we actually come out like
week by week. So usually I think, I don't know.
Actually I'm not a big reality show watcher. But you
wouldn't be on another one? Would I be on another
reality show?
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Like if you could pick any reality show right now,
would you be on another?
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I can tell you what reality shows are out there.
I don't really watch it. Okay, this blind is not
really one of our castes. That No, I just kidn't
making that up. We don't want to we don't want
to get in trouble. No, he's gone now, so like
I can talk about him. But uh, I thought he
(05:55):
was on Love to Handle. Okay, yeah, that's another one.
That's the same thing. Now, it's like the same tear
out the handle is when like.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
You've got to just have sex with each other you
can't stop yourself, and then love is blind, like there's
like you can't see the person until you agree to
marry them and.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Then you see what they finally look like. Mary. Yeah,
they actually get married.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Some of them don't because Bachelorette and Bachelor, I know,
but those get boring.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Oh they're boring. Yeah, those never I never got into
their shows either.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
I tried to watch The Golden Bachelor. It was like, whatever,
So you love golf, you do I want to start golfing?
Speaker 3 (06:32):
You want to teach me.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
I've actually been trying to find a coach and there's
a right close to me because I've been looking at
golf places. There's like a public one and like whatever,
and I really that's like been my goal this year
is to start golfing.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
You totally should, especially now. And I tell this someoneman
all the time that there is no, not really many
females in golf. The best thing about golf and being
female is you don't actually have to be good. Yeah,
given a male like you can't you just golf by yourself.
You don't have to be Yeah, there's no teams, it's
just you, you know, your own self. I started two years ago.
(07:08):
Two okay, so that's kind of No, I'm not good
at all. I even post like my bad everything. I
usually post the worst of the worst. Would it's funny,
he would be good, like I've good, like I have
a coach drive all that stuff.
Speaker 5 (07:20):
But now I'm not ship.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
I wish I could say that was good. But because
I heard you better than you think. Yes, I'm better.
No I'm not that good.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
I'm not that good.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
But you've only been doing it for two years. Yeah,
you have to golf almost every people practice every single day.
Then like you will become obsessed once you know.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Because you know what I know this is not really
the same, but I love top golf. Like when a
guy invis me out, I'm like, can we go to top golf?
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Like I always yeah.
Speaker 5 (07:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
I'm actually a member at Calabasa's country Club.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
So you know, I tried to join that country club.
I think it's that one, but they were trying to
charge me like three hundred thousand for the year. Oh yeah,
so a little let me know these I wasn't going
to pay that, Like, I was like, well, now we'll
go into DBT.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Just trying to be.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Yes, yes, I really do, I really do whatever.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Yeah, So are you single right now? I am just
doing my thing? So does that mean single? That means
or that means you have a situation You're a situation ship?
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Yeah that's nice. I love situation ship. What's your worst
and best date?
Speaker 3 (08:32):
You know that sounds so sad. I couldn't tell you
the last time you've been on a date? I had, Okay,
I know the last time I've been on a date,
and it was really amazing. It was one of the
most refreshing dates ever. What did you do? Grab sushi?
We just got sushi? Yeah, that's nice, A nice chill
and I said that because I'm like, listen, I'm a
(08:53):
fucking in an now girl. You know you're taking me
to like I'm not like I love Susie, but like
this is all up front. Yeah, give me some give
me something that I'll make my stomach hurt, right, you know,
and I have to run some fast food. Yeah, so
I don't have to like try to be like, oh,
I don't want to go to your house right now,
I'm going to go to my house. Yeah, in and out. Sorry,
(09:15):
I need my alone time and it's not with my toys. Yeah.
So it's such a long comment. Yeah, here's me swearing
and then I use like words like potty. But that
last date was very refreshing. You don't have a bad
date like that. You would never like I'm very like
(09:37):
unfiltered in transparents, I'm trush, trying to think like a
bad day. I don't think I've gone on that many
dates to have a bad date. I've had just mediocre
like give me out of the situation, and I'm like
texting my friend call me pretend like something that. But
at this point in my life, I'm like I don't
need to fake anything for anyone, can't you have a kid,
like you can't like, don't waste my time because I
(09:59):
could be swending with my daughter, So yeah, don't waste
my time. I just I'm at the point of my life.
I just am so unfiltered and I'm like, this is
not going as expected. Do you say that to their face?
I want to say, it's so harsh unless they were
being like nasty or something. I'm like, this is a
terrible day, you know, I just can't think of it.
And then you just walk out. I would just walk out.
I would pay for my own my own food. Wow,
(10:21):
just to degree them. I like, yeah, it's such a yes.
I like, I would like, you're a pansy and I'm
going to go pay for my own food, not yours.
Speaker 5 (10:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
I love doing that when a guy it takes me
on the date and I'll pull my card out too,
and I'll be like, oh, yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
I always try to pay. Yeah, I will whip out
the card. I'm more than happy to pay for my
own food. I'll whip up my car, but you don't
your card if you don't whip about yours, Like that happened,
where someone has.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
That happened.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
I would definitely talk about that experience, but that's never happened.
But I always whip out my card always, yeah, just
I do just ask like I know that they're going
to offer to be like no, no, I got it,
but I do it as like.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
A power trip. Yeah, I'm really big on power trips. Yea,
they know me too, what's up?
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Yeah, and a broke bitch like I can afford my food.
But also you need to be a gentleman. Yeah, absolutely, yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Yeah, I've never had a guy that's let me pay.
I don't think anyways if you're taking a guy shopping. Ever,
I've taken a guy shopping once.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
Not like not in a relationship, like just a random
guy I was.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
In a relationship for like oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
I always joke too. I'm like, I just want a
sugar baby. Oh I love having little sugar baby because
it feels like I don't know if it's like the
alpa in us or like I like or like and
I'm talking like people are like sugar. They get a
confused and like, no, I want to be the sugar mama,
and like they love it. They get obsessed when you're
their sugar mama. I just do that with every man.
(11:47):
Sometimes a little too much. It's like a rewarding It's
like a rewarding thing or something. What is it? When
are you born?
Speaker 2 (11:53):
I hate when people do this, but I feel like
you'reing aries.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
No no, see I should I should have. Yeah, I
am actually scor for you. Yeah no, no, I'm a Gemini.
Oh yeah, duh that one. Like what does that mean?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Every Gemini is like so dominant, like just so aggressive,
so dominant because it's June, right, yeah, June Mariland memory
those people very special people are born in the first
September first. It's actually like a thing if number of
people that are born in the first tend to be
like dominant in leaders and like people like that are
(12:32):
very like. People born on the twenty third typically tend
to be like attractive people.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
It's like a thing. I wasn't born on the twenty third,
but like I know the first we're hot as fuck,
we're aas we are successful. They tend to be American
about myself.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Like yeah, but it's true, they tend to be like
dominant people.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Yeah, I don't mean many people born in the first.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
My mom's also born on the first. Really wow, and Shrewsbury.
I don't mean actually, I don't meet many people born
in the first either. I think I don't think I
know anyone born in the first besides me. Girl, you
forgot about now?
Speaker 4 (13:10):
Ye don't change the something?
Speaker 3 (13:27):
What the fuck is this piece of ship? All right?
Speaker 2 (13:30):
So we love to do hot topics, and I really
like this one. It's a quick guy to love bombing
for people in our first You love the love bombing?
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Vogue has recently published a full write up on what
exactly love bombing is and it's modern day effects on
dating scenes.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Have you been loved bombing? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:52):
How many times?
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Once? One time? Oh wow? Okay, so not that many,
but I never experienced it before, So I was like,
what the fuck is going on?
Speaker 4 (13:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Like what is this? I mean? Then I discovered the word.
I was like, oh, yeah, it's it's like a narcissist thing.
It is.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Most of us are no longer strangers to having a
new partner love bomb us. It's such a modern day thing.
Plastered all over social media. People are calling out love
bombing as a bad thing, saying that it shows red
flags that your new partner is manipulative. I agree, you know,
let me keep reading. They love putting in a lot
of bullet points too many? Is love bombing a positive
(14:31):
or negative thing? Does it depend on the person and
their motives and the relationship and what can we do
to be careful with like love bombing? Does it like
describe who somebody really is? If they're really manipulative? What
are they trying to get from you? Are they just
a hopeless romantic? Like do you think that in a
way love bombing can be a good thing?
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Like what are your thoughts? You said you've been loved mom?
Bombing is terrible.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
I feel like there needs there needs to be a
window because I reading through this and they're not saying, like,
is love bombing within like the first couple of days
of meeting someone? Is love bombing in the first couple
of months? Like what's an appropriate time to tell someone?
Speaker 3 (15:10):
It's all relative, but like I think the first day
everyone's putting on a front and in a little way, right,
a little sprinkle of a front. When you were love bombed?
How soon did they tell you? Did they tell me
I was love They don't say that they're love bombing, well, no,
I know, but when it was like the first time
that they Like how I think when you start to
realize like things are changing, like characteristics and then like
certain behaviorism.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
So you never had someone like say, like in the
first couple of weeks, like I love you like right away, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
But like there's a lot of things that go behind
love bombing. It's not just I love you. It's like this,
let's get very odd at this charisma, Like it's not
just one thing. There's so many properties. I guess you
can say that go behind love bombing and you don't
even realize it until you realize everything just changes one
day and you're like, oh, what's happening right now? Like
is this borderline personality? Like is it's like a like
(15:59):
it Like I was gonna say that maybe it's multiple personalities.
Like I'm like, am I feel like what you're talking about?
What blit was scary like that would be the letters.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
But yeah, yeah, no, I think love bombing is like
a very serious thing. It's more and more. I can't
I've never not been love bombed. I realize that every
relationship has been love bombing and like manipulative. I've never
had a guy in an appropriate time frame tell me
that they love me. It's always like in the first
couple of weeks, or it's after they've done something wrong
and I'm just not into it anymore, and I'm like listen,
(16:32):
like you've done this in like the early stages, and
it comes in with I just.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Want to tell you that I love you, and you're
like like you yeah, you too, but like fuck, like
you speak too, Okay. Now, I do think it is
a personality Issue's a personality issue. I think it's like,
uh yeah, there's all different kinds of personality disorders, and
it's definitely like it gives me a little BPD borderline
(16:59):
personality disorder. For sure. It's scary, it's super scary, but
you know what it is. It's social media. It's social media.
You go back ten years ago, no one had these issues.
People were together for longer than what it is now,
and people talk about this all the time. They're like, well,
people are more willing now to speak up and say
things because like it's not traditional anymore. I was like,
(17:20):
but also, there's so many variables and factors that go
into that, and ten years ago, like we didn't have
these distractions. We had distractions and we were probably like wow,
my space, Wow, my space, miss sucking. I know, I
know my top my top four was the ship. Yeah,
my Space Tom. I'm trying to golf with my Space Tom.
But anyways, at the Playboy Bunny background, that was of course,
(17:42):
of course good litterary ones. Yeah you knew the codes.
We knew had a fucking code. Okay, but I digress,
But like we literally have an app for fucking everything,
for fucking literally.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Well yeah, one of the hot topics is about Tokyo
and how the governments are going to be the ones
to oversee their Tinder, like there's no longer.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Love bombing, is it illegal? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Well, like that's another thing is like the apps and
stuff like that, Like it's they're literally saying, how seventy
percent of people, you know, they want a partner, but
they are making sure that people are actually single on there,
that their motives are actually.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Pure, and that they really like great.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Yeah, I think it's great, but I think it's weird.
But I think it's becomes from it comes from the
love bombing and the social media.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Like just people go so crazy they think that they
have access to everything in the palm of their hands,
and then they just get rid of it and then
they just are like, well, love bomb, love bomb. Maybe
they're maybe they're genuine pure intentions from the getting aren't
to love bomb, and then they just pick out their phone,
these meaning their phone, and they're like, well, she's hot.
(18:48):
I know I can get this girl. And then the
love bombing is a bomb. They don't even realize they
blew it up and it's a great fucking love that. Yeah,
you know. So it's just like full fucking access. And
I think that's what it is. They're addicted. They're addicted
to this.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Do you think they really feel like they mean it
when they say it, or because I feel like they
think that women we want to be like they're like
women want to be loved so hard and so like quick, and.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
They want to be married right away.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
And then they they're like, let me just tell her
what she wants to hear. Do you think they are like, man,
this girl's so cool, she's stayed in a way.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
I love her. I think a lot of men don't
know what love is. And so then when they say
I love you and they show this romantic side so
fast as soon is because men do fall hard in
the beginning. Women don't. Women take their time. Women are like, yeah,
I really like them. We get invested in enjoying and
(19:40):
gross women. I'm not speaking for all, I'm not speaking
for most men, but like you know, majority they take
we take her time. We like to just savor the
moments and stuff like that. Men fall in love faster
than women, but women's love stays longer than men, And
so I don't think it's on purpose, but I think
it's starting to become on purpose because because of the
(20:01):
access that we all have in the palm of our hands,
you know. So I just think it's like it becomes
such a norm. I hate when your love bomb during sex. Yeah,
I was. You get me really scared because.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
You're looking in your eyes and sit here like, oh,
I always love bomb, don't Right now?
Speaker 4 (20:19):
That was me.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
I was a victim of that.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
And you never told someone you loved them during sex.
Me first, I haven't.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
Me no, like everyone's told me that during sex. It
scared you, right, I was, like, when did you find
the rhythm to like find a pause in between and
take a breather and say I love you and full
the full three words? Like you thought that it wasn't
just love that was important than my orgasm? Right now?
You thought that was way more important because you just
found a gap in between the thrust thing and the
(20:49):
rhythm and like I love you. I'm like, what if
that was my orgasm?
Speaker 2 (20:52):
What if self to you that you would get up
and run away?
Speaker 3 (20:56):
That's what they would do. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, imagine
man climax in getting climax I love you. I would
destroy his his climax, I would destroy his come.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
You know, I'm gonna start doing that scare them. And
there's been days where and then like what if I
just like acted one day like I acted the way
these men act, like just very obsessive, like all over them.
Like what if I really scared the funk out of
them like they do to me?
Speaker 3 (21:23):
How would they react? Instead of being men? A man
would call you a psychopath?
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Yes, if we acted exactly, how even if I just
sit here and don't say anything.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
You don't say anything, and that always look like a psychopath, bro,
because she looks like a psychopath. Yeah, I know. So
even if we don't say anything, for a psychopath, if
we respond to their bullshit or psycho, I'm like, do
you realize what created women? endSo creating like these monsters,
these monsters. So speak us monsters, you men, you did this,
you did this to us. Whatever.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Screw them them, screw them at the same time, get
rid of them, all right. So Cosmopolitans and Magazine is
saying that breaking up with someone over text is like okay.
In this generation, they're saying, it's okay. What do you think?
It says breaking up with someone is always hard, and
doing it over text is considered one of the worst
(22:13):
ways to do it. However, recently they're saying that it's
better to be able to hide and not break down
in front of the person if you're the dumpy and
avoids the awkward situation for the dumper.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
I get got it.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Benefits gives the dumper a record of their breakup. If
things get messy in the aftermath, you could set the
terms of your breakup, you know, as you remove the
party the person. If things turn worse, then you know,
you could just break contact easily with them.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
I agree with I think, I agree, that's yeah. I agree.
That's my generation. That's my generation. I agree with all
the pros to that is what I'm saying. I agree that, like, yeah,
you have a record of everything, you have conversation and
we're speaking on you know, a female telling a man
that where we're with Yeah, yeah, not vice versa.
Speaker 5 (23:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
So some men don't take breakups that well. They can
go crazy, and they do, they do go crazy, And
so I like it, and that standpoint Yes, in a
text to feel safe and have everything and boundaries and
proof and stuff like that. Sure do I agree with
(23:22):
it fully now. One, I'm a very alpha, powerful woman,
and I like to look at someone in their eyes
and give them the fucking deaths there because clearly I'm
breaking up with you for a fucking reason and want
I want them to feel it, like the pain in
their fucking soul.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
If someone's going to break up with me, I'd rather
than do it through tex so I could just click
out of it and.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Be like oh and then move on.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
I don't want it face to face because I could
see how like yeah, like I don't want that. But
say you're in a five year, seven year relationship, it's
not appropriate to break up with the person over to sure,
if you're living with a person, not appropriate to break
up with them over text. I think it's like these
relationships at the very beginning that are serious, but like
maybe not as serious as.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
They could be.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Like, if you're engaged with someone, I don't think you
should break up with them three times engaged with like
the month.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
In your love bond. Put I do, yeah, I do.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Like when I'm done with someone, like I just did
it this morning, Like.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
Just for this morning. Is that what you just said? Yeah,
not really got a podcast, give me the team.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
I wasn't really with them. They love bumb me by
the way, anyway, So I like to text like you
did this, this, this, this, this, Because if I'm having
a conversation with someone, they typically interrupt me or I
get like I can't get everything that I've been wanting
to say, like I'll only say one thing before they
have to say something back, and I don't get everything out,
(24:49):
and then I get manipulated to like stay, and then
I feel bad, like I'll be.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
Like, oh god, that's because with a narcissism, Yeah of course, yeah,
I've been there, done that.
Speaker 4 (24:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
There terrible people. So that's so in this scenario, yes,
through text is so appropriate because it's like they're narcissists.
They're like literally a few screws are loose, and you
can't tell a narcissist they're a narcissist, they don't think
it was crazy.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
I feel like there needs to be more research on
narcissism and like how to treat it, because there's no treatment.
So there's a medication for everything, but there's no medication
for for narcissism.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Like I think narcissism stems from a disorder, you know,
So I don't think it Narcissimism is like kind of
built in your personality, so I think it. I think
narcissism could be bipolar and or borderline personality disorder, or
just some sort of disorder it comes from, you know,
implemented into one of those disorders, because I just don't
think it's just narcissmism, you know. I think it's just
(25:47):
that's a piece of their disorder.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
I've dated so many narcissists that I'm just now this
year I really have like learned what it is because
I thought they were just like self centered people. I
could rant all day long about narcissism, but oh me too, girls,
I thought they were just self centered people. But I
really feel like it's truly like a mental illness because
there's been times where it's been like, what do you
mean do you. There's a book called It's not You,
(26:09):
It's Some Yeah yeah, and I love that book and
it goes over there's actually seven forms of narcissism, and
like one of them is like the person that just
makes you feel sorry for them, like they can't ever
do like anything right, but you're the problem.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
They're like, woe is me? You know. There's a's seven
different ones, and and each one is to make you
feel less though, each one of the all of them,
all of it. And they don't realize that they're doing it.
That's the thing.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
It's like they literally don't. I always thought like, okay,
they're just lying. They don't think that they've done this,
or they know that they've done this, they're just denying it.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
They really don't know. It's a it's a pathological liar toy.
And there's so many things that go into being a narcissist.
And they're so convinced, so convinced, and it's actually sad.
They're so convinced that nothing is wrong with them. They're
doing no harm, no wrong. So that's why, like I
honestly do genuinely feel bad for those people, because there's
(27:03):
they can't come up and balance, there's there's no fixing it,
and there they don't want to fix it because they
truly genuinely believe there's nothing wrong with themselves and you
can't be that girl to help fix it.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
And the odd thing about us, it's like severe low
self esteem. But the person doesn't act like they love
them so they're so confident, but the confidence comes from
like such a lack of love things that they have
for themselves absolutely, and they don't see it. I'm like
they're filling a void for sure by obsessing over themselves.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
It's so weird, so I could I don't every.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Want to be with another narcissistem actually like really traumatized
and like I get scared any type of like little
signs of narcissism, I'll be like, I'll just run away.
Same like if I try to tell you how my
feelings are and you come back with my comeback, or
I don't even talk at on what I just said
to you. Narcissists are emotionally in the charge. Yeah, Chure,
it's emotionally mature. It's not even a jab.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
It's like they just don't have the maturity level of
a normal adult person. That's the same age as them.
They're emotionally mature, they don't have that in them. But
maybe it's like mommy stuff too.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Oh yeah, they always I noticed like with the guys
that have narcissism, they have mommy issues.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
And mommy issues like have you known that? Yes, which
is really weird, right, Yes, it's almost like their moms
love them, yeah, so hard and my little narcissism. Thinking
about it because I'm a mom, I was like, I
don't hope my daughter never like thinks that. I'm like,
I show a love all the time, and I'm all
into like gentle parenting and stuff like that, but I
(28:32):
think that the moms show them harsh love.
Speaker 4 (28:35):
You know.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Yeah, no, this is what it is because I've been around,
like I said, narcissists, and like the moms are actually abusive.
They're actually verbally abusive, and it's actually that's why you
feel bad for them. It is because like the moms
will shit on them and make them feel like they're
not good enough, and then to because the moms feel
bad about it, and the baby love yes, son, I
love like you're so amazing, and then the next day they'll.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Be like they're a heart yeah, and a harpie'll they'll
call their moms and their moms will be their cooking
breakfast for them next day, and then the mom will
be like, you idiot, here's your sandwich. Yeah, like, oh,
I love that mommy language. That's not me. I don't
like do that to my Like she's my daughter's a gem.
She's like kind hearted. She doesn't like if I yelled
(29:19):
at her, she probably cries. She's so intuitive and she's
so like just understanding of emotions and stuff like that.
But I never I haven't yelled at her and never
to me, you're you're an angel.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Never once did my mom yell at me. Never once
did I get grounded, like when I tell you, never
once was I spanked. I was never punished. Maybe that's
like a bad thing, but I was never in trouble
and I never did anything bad though really yeah, just
like regular stuff.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
But and for me, I don't yell. I don't touch
her appointment.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
It is enough for some children, like my sister doesn't
understand their children.
Speaker 3 (29:54):
We're adults, Like what are we doing here? Like we
were like, yeah, this is the one thing that I
cann't actually agree on with things adapting and justing to
time is like when we were younger, that was what
people did. They spank their kids, they hit their kids.
It was acceptable. It was trauma, but that was the
norm then. And then we kind of evolved and realized, like, wait,
(30:14):
this is why everyone has trauma, Like it stems from
our parents. And at least I'm talking about girls because
I have a daughter. But then these women get into
these terrible relationships because of their childhood, you know, because
they're so used to that life and stuff like that.
Not all and that's not like I can't fully blame
it on parenting and stuff because other things happen and
other triggers and stuff like that. But majority of people,
(30:35):
the way they are is because their parents.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
I'm very big into therapy and stuff like that. I'm
trying to work through like some of my childhood stuff.
You know, my early years of my life were just
very horrible, and so I have to work through that
as an adult. Right in an odd way, I'm very
thankful for it. I know that sounds bad, but.
Speaker 3 (30:54):
No, it sounds bad, but now I'm super the same way,
I'm super appreciative. I have so much gratitude for everything that's.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Happened to have a daughter, like or just a kid
in general with how this world is, I've never asked
she is.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
Locked away, But she's locked away my basements, you know,
like you didn't.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
You weren't like, oh my god, Like this is so terrifying,
how many kids?
Speaker 3 (31:14):
And I think about it and I'm like, oh goodness,
I am on birth control terrified. Yeah, but seeing that
girl happy when for simple thing, it makes you appreciate life.
She teaches me so much to just be calm, understanding,
check myself, you know, but seeing her something as simple
(31:34):
as as giving her a cookie and she's happy and
appreciative of her a fucking cookie. And these other fucking
people out here are crying because they they like whatever,
like their rolls Royce broke, Yes, exactly, They're they're rented
out rolls Royce spoken about. Yeah, like, I rather be
around my daughter and get that pure, pure genuine love
and know pure genuine love exists, and it's right here
(31:57):
in the pone in my hands. You know. So yes,
I am rified, because I am terrified because for talking
about the dating culture, I'm like, how much worse can
this get? As she gets older? You know?
Speaker 2 (32:06):
Ter I know it's gonna get worse. I'm twenty I'm
going to be twenty eight. I said I wanted to
have a kid at thirty. I think I'm going to
push it to thirty five now and then check back
in with myself and see like where I'm at.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
And it's very rewarding. No matter what happens.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
It's going to a sperm donor. Oh perfect, that's a
I froze my eggs. So my plan is to actually
use a sperm donor. I don't want to have a
kid with somebody, like I don't want to have a
bad baby dad. I don't need help from a man.
I'd rather explain to my kid that I bought sperm.
I know that sounds horrible, but like that I went
to a sperm bank.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
I really wanted to of this decision.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
And then I don't want to have to explain to
them that, oh, your dad doesn't want to be around you.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
Yeah, because you don't know if you're going to have
children with somebody, and then you have children with some
fucking narcissist, and then they come in and out, and
then you're having to explain each time they show they
love bomb your kids. It's love bombing in and out,
in and out and out, back and forth because they
did it to you. What terrible person? Why explain it
even go down down that rabbit hole. I'm so for
this side.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
And I'm super scared to pay someone child support because
all of my exes, if I had kids with them,
I would actually be paying them child support, even though
like I thought we were making the same amount, or
maybe they even made more. But like people's financial situations, you.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
Want to say child support if they have full custody.
If you have full cust If you have full custody,
you're your mother and your baby. And that's not hard
to do for a woman, is I don't even want
to do that. I don't even want to go to court, Like,
I don't even want It's your decision, it's your it's
your everything, especially California there's all that other states like that.
But yeah, I'm scared.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
I have I have a few friends that like they
they don't either don't get anything.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
It's just I don't want to pay te Yeah, you
don't don't even wants to thought that's supershit anyways.
Speaker 5 (33:49):
In general, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
We're going to do the hotline questions Okay, I haven't
read these yet, so these are from fans. They could
be really fine at times, actually all the time. What
do I tell my best friend after her boyfriend used
a remote controller vibrator on her in front of me? Recently,
I went to play golf with my best friend and
her boyfriend. While playing, she kept grabbing her crotch while
(34:34):
her boyfriend was messing with his phone. Around nine or
ten hole, what does that mean?
Speaker 3 (34:40):
There's eighteen holes halfway through?
Speaker 4 (34:42):
All right?
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Well, okay, I was about to say this is really
turning down.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
I mean, tell me about it.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
Around or nine or ten hole. She looked at him
and told him loudly turned it off. I played dumb,
and I knew what was happening, as I own a
similar to I haven't talked to her since this happened.
I feel very uncomfortable. I'm not sure what to say
to her.
Speaker 3 (35:05):
I know exactly what the thing that you put in
your underwear that's like the magnet and like there's a magnet. Yeah,
it's like a magnet you put I haven't used it yet,
but I have it.
Speaker 4 (35:16):
Of those.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
I'm just like, how do you use this? I'm just like,
don't feel like downloading an app. But yeah, it's a
thing you put in your like I guess there's other
ways of using it, but you can put it in
your underwear one side as a magnet to stay in
like attached, you know, the underwears in between. And it
doesn't like that. And it's like this little like vibrator
thing that can go on your like clit and and
(35:37):
then there's an app that someone can use and adjust
the vibrations of it.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
See, I don't Yeah, I don't like that. I don't
like exposing your friends in pemal to sexual things if
it's not a conversation before coming from the sex industry,
like I think it's like a sexual things need to
have a conversation before, like any type of way type
of like yeah, even if it has nothing to do like,
that's very not I would partually not even be friends
(36:03):
with someone over that. I'd be like that was too
much for me.
Speaker 3 (36:06):
That's the roots and understated.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
Could have golfing on your own and done that, you're
a little like absolutely. The problem is they probably were
turned on by the fact that there was somebody out there.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
Did you do it?
Speaker 4 (36:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (36:16):
I was probably like a little king Yeah, that's probably why. Otherwise,
why are you horny? Like no golf golfing? Like I'm
fucking with your friend, I'm looking sweating, okay, Like, don't
talk to me. I just missed the fucking piet and
I don't want to be talked to or vibrated on.
So like no, that would be like the least of
my worries is getting an orgasm on the ninth halfway through.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
No way, no way, I cannot be your friend, Like
you made me very uncomfortable with you know, this whole
vibrating situation, the fact that you didn't even bring it
to my attention and I had to sit there uncomfortable
the whole time and figured it Like figuring it out
makes me not want to be your friend, plain and simple.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
Yeah, I mean I would a little bit wantic.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
Like I've had guys who are distorting, Like my friend
was staying here for a little bit with me, and
I had a guy over and I was like, are
you cool even though this is my house?
Speaker 3 (37:05):
Like are you cool with me having sex like in
the in my own room?
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Like that was a conversation before, you know, Like I
would never just have someone over and then just start
screaming loud, fucking.
Speaker 3 (37:17):
You're a couple. And the guy was staying over no,
No one of my girlfriends.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
She needed a place to stay, and so one of
these really hot guys was in town because it's like
the only day he's in town. Are you cool while
you're staying at my place?
Speaker 4 (37:29):
I have?
Speaker 3 (37:32):
She's like, yeah, that's totally.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
Fine, But I would I even asked in my own home,
like I always, are you okay with it? And if
she said no, I would have totally been like, totally
get it, Like I don't want to hear you screaming either.
Speaker 3 (37:45):
You know you like but you're and you insinuate things
and you you wore and you're like, guy, say in
my bed, this is what's gonna happen.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
Yeah, I do ask that too, Like I she even
helped clean up my place.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
She was like, oh clean, You're gonna say something else.
I was like, she right, She's like.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
That. I love her.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
So next question is I'm tired of my boyfriend giving
me horrible gifts. I need him to do better. I've
been with my boyfriend for around five years now. In
all aspects, he's amazing. However, his gift giving has been
weak at best, cheap jewelry perfume I don't like. However,
his last gift was the worst. He recently took a
solo vacation as I didn't have time off work. It
(38:30):
was my birthday last week and I had high hopes
this year. All he gave me was a frame photo
of him on vacation. Okay, sorry, he gave a frame
photo just of himself solely, or was it a photo
of them together? I'm guessing just a photo of himself
on vacation. I thought for a second it was gonna
(38:51):
be a photo of them together, and I was gonna
be like, girls, stop, I have my One of my
love languages is not gift giving. It's actually the opposite.
Guys are going to be upset because they all listen
to my podcast. But I don't want gifts from guys
because I feel like it buys my attention and I
want one on one time. I want words of affirmation.
(39:12):
So I can't relate to this in a way. But
I have so many friends where that is so important
to them. I think it's because they want the guy
to pay attention to what they like. It's not necessarily like, Okay,
if the value kind of things. Yeah, see, I think
that's a little bit of that too with this generation.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
But like I think it's just women wanting.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
To be heard that they He was like, Okay, she
does really like this type of stuff. But personally for me,
I take cheap jewelry. I take me to cheap perfume
and the gesture.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
I'm all about, like I'll make a card, I'll make something,
I'll make dinner. I will for a gift, and I'm
just not into materialistic things. All my stuff I will
buy for myself. It makes me happy because it's my
don't mean it's me doing the shopping, it's me spending
the money. I get pleasure from gifting something that's sentimental
(40:02):
and something that means means, something that you thought about. Like, Okay,
he likes this, he likes that. I want to receive
love and getting to like more intimity, quality time. I'd
rather have that. Don't buy me a Schnell bag that
looks like a bribe to me, that looks like I
should be with you longer. That looks like that's guilty
(40:23):
and you feel guilty. It's a guilty thing. I don't
know being with a narcissist. You're just like like you
can't even handle like gifts and and all.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
That stuff, and you're just like I just I was
in a relationship where the guy didn't buy me, not
one thing, and it was my happiest relationship. I'm not
gonna let we spent every day together, we spent all
day together, and we didn't buy each other not well.
I actually I'm a big gift giver, that's the thing.
So I give him and I and I think it
confuses people. But for this girl, giving a photo of
(40:54):
yourself on vacation when you can couldn't even go, that's rude.
That would piss me off.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
If a man has a photo of himself in a frame,
which I've seen a man, yeah, run.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
I think if he gave it as like a little necklace,
one of those what are they called, and it was
a photo of himself, I would really like that.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
For sure, in a fucking picture frame. No, and then
what what is he doing? Is he just.
Speaker 5 (41:21):
Right?
Speaker 3 (41:22):
What the fuck are you doing in this photo? Is this?
Is it is his shirt off? Because you better fucking
be even if you're a chisel, And I'll be like,
that's that doesn't seem like straight.
Speaker 2 (41:31):
I actually, now that I think about it, I had
a photo of one of my exes when I was
with him in a picture frame, and I would put
it down every time I would have other guys embarrassed
and well, no, it wasn't that I had other guys
coming over that I was cheating on him with. And
he one time the photo wasn't up and he was like,
where's the photo?
Speaker 3 (41:48):
Why is it gone? And he knew instantly, and I
was like, this picture frame broke. I would be embarrassed.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
I'd be like, well, I can't say I'm embarrassed because
I'm cheating on you.
Speaker 3 (41:59):
Say nor a situation if I had, I wouldn't have this.
But if I have a picture of my man and
he's just him, just like standing with super sexy, I
don't give a fuck, then send me a sexy photo
and like, send me that photo. I used to say.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
I used to set one of my exes as my
screensaver and it was just a photo of him and
there was a live photo and I would press it.
Speaker 3 (42:21):
Like all day long and be like, oh, yeah, he
totally loved me. He totally loved me. But yeah, yeah,
because you're break up.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
With him though, girl that he doesn't sound like I say,
forget like the cheap gifts, because maybe that's all he
can afford. But like the picture frame thing, I'd be like, listen,
this is kind of this is weird.
Speaker 3 (42:42):
This is weird, and it seems like a beginning relationship
the way she's explaining everything. So it's like, just run
for five years now, I've been with him. Why wouldn't
you say anything from the get go, like taking five
years to realize this and say this and write a
review like about her. Yeah, Okay, I don't know what
(43:02):
to get. I don't know what advice to give you
at this point, because you're you're in it. You're you're
in it. You're in it. You dug that grave.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
Throw the picture away, yeah, or take the photo out
and put a photo of you guys together and be
like I would just put like a stick figure version
of myself and right next to him, just like, you know,
just make it cuter.
Speaker 3 (43:20):
But yeah, just make.
Speaker 2 (43:21):
It all right, Steph. I love that you're easy to
talk to for real, and I'm gonna like, I'm gonna
I enjoyed this.
Speaker 3 (43:30):
We have a lot of like similarities, right, I love
to get like more intimate in the conversations. But like
we have like I know, why don't you come back
on something? Yeah, let's do it for sure. And I
really love to speak on camera and like so like
that's why hating because I'm like, I have so much
ship to say.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
Yeah, anything you want to plug besides the house of heat.
Speaker 3 (43:52):
House of heat on your Instagram. All my handles are
the same. It's stuff me, so stuff me on Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, Facebook.
I think that's it for now. TikTok you have a
TikTok talk Yeah, yes, if you underscore Stephane, Okay, damn
it wants somebody took it. Yeah, somebody took that one.
But yeah, it's definitely on all the social media platforms.
(44:14):
I'm all over the place and you have an O
f right. Yes, okay, nice, that's Stuffane as well.
Speaker 4 (44:19):
Nice.
Speaker 3 (44:19):
I like to try to plug that for people. Yeah,
I know, Stephane. Second Grace. Yes, it's thriving right now,
so good, good for you. I love to hear that
all of it's doing well. Congrats you.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
It's a good place to be in life when everything's
working out, everything's.
Speaker 3 (44:36):
Going out, everything, everything always goes as well. Yeah good.
I love that. It's my affirmation of the day.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
I love that, all right, heartbreakers, See you next time,
the same, in the same
Straw Media.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hey, Heartbreakers, I'm back with another episode with Steph Me.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Steph is a.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Golf and sports influencer, right, and you were on House
of He that's with to be right, Okay, I'm very cute.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
We're on episode eight.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
So are you're you're not currently filming it? You had
filmed it and now it's out.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Now it's out, and it's have you ever seen Real World?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Well, you know what I saw the trailer. I'm not
gonna lie and I won't say.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
After we discuss things, we're gonna be like, Okay, I'm
gonna run to my TV and watch this. But like
I try to explain it the best I can. When
people are like I've seen tiktoks and videos on Instagram.
People are like, it's the challenge, what's the prize, I'm like,
am I gonna swear? Yeah? Right, they're swearing at I'm like, listen,
(01:09):
you idiots, Like not everything's a challenge. There's not always
a reward. Like let's go back to the old school,
like reality shows when people are shoved in a house,
not forced, but like we chose to be there. We
were shoved in a house and we literally like just
are in a house, dealing with each other like it's
like the real world but on crack. So that's the rundown.
(01:31):
It's it's of models, right, So our common denominator is
of for sure. We're all creators of all sorts, of
every avenue. You know. Some people do YouTube, a lot
of us do a lot of the same things. But yes,
our common denominator is only fans, for sure. But we're
all different kinds, implied, explicit, Uh, everything you can think
(01:54):
of under the sun. So then what are you supposed
to be doing. You're just supposed to live in the
house and then just see what you and you have
real world I have. Yeah, it's like that. We're like,
then we're supposed to We're not supposed to be doing anything.
We we are. That was my show. I don't know
about you guys, but that was the ship. That was
like literally everyone's show. So that's how I was like
(02:15):
almost introduced, like what the show was about the first season,
so no one knew what to do, no one knew anything.
There was no background to it. We just were thrown
in a house and we just live like we just
have food. I mean, it was like living through food.
I'm just like like I wake up their suit. I
do have a bed. I'm the only one in the
house that has I actually showed up second. I'm the
(02:38):
only one in the house that has their own room.
Oh so people have to share rooms? Yeah, oh hell.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
Oh I know.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
So I thought that, you know, like a lot of
other people are like, oh, and this is gonna be terrible.
We have to share bathrooms, we have to share this.
I'm the only one in the house that Luckily I
show up second to the house and I'm a mom
and I have to you know, I like to get
on my FaceTime calls with my daughter, like I have.
She's four, Okay, so she's young. Yeah, she's Yeah. So
(03:06):
it was really important, Like I didn't want like drinking
and drama in my room with another room, you know,
like I want to be able to sit there and
like talk to her and call her and stuff. So
I was like, thank goodness, I had my own room.
I did not have my own bathroom. Everyone had to.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
What's so important you think your own bathroom or your
own room. I'd say own bathroom, but that she no.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
I wanted to say my own bathroom. And at first
I was like, well, I mean not everyone had their
own bathroom.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
There was.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
It was shared, so you had to walk through doors.
Bathrooms are center of everyone's room, so you had to
walk through rooms to get to the bathroom. The first
floor was a shared bathroom. The second floor it is
another shared bathroom. So two bathrooms in the house. Yes,
and how many people? Nine nine? No way are you
llowed to go home if you want to or you
have to stay at the house. You have to. You're
(03:52):
required to stay at the house for how many days
we were there? It was pushing three months? Yeah, I
was pushing like three month. Yeah, we didn't know. No
one knew because there was never a show like this,
you know, so no one even producers like everything, we
didn't know. We're just kind of playing by ear on
how things were going to go. If it was like
what if it was boring for four weeks? You know,
(04:13):
oh my god, what would you say? I was like, Fuck,
this is not going to be fucking boring? Is this
for real? This is this scripted? Is this like you
know it's not scripted.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
There was tons of alcohol, I'm guessing like everybody was.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
There was more alcohol than food. Yeah, you know, that's
why I say I think, but I just like, would
just see alcohol all the time. I'm not a huge drinker.
I just want to get Asian glow, okay. Thing, it's
like that's when the skin gets red. Yeah right, I
get that when I drink wine. Okay, So we take
like a pepsid or an acid anything that's like a
(04:47):
zantac or something to help what you're saying. But you
can't do that every day. So I can't drink every
day actually, but.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
Yeah, I.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Love my glasses of wine. Don't get me wrong, I
love all that. But yeah, there's there's definitely a lot
of alcohol, just a lot of drama. Drama. I can't
wat scripted fucking drama. I'm gonna tell you these next
two episodes, you're okay, I gotta love Me, no pun intended.
I got to catch up if you're on Love Me
episode eight, right, yeah, an episode eight, Yeah, I'll watch.
(05:18):
I'll binge watch it all in one day. Yeah, you
can get with that, and we actually come out like
week by week. So usually I think, I don't know.
Actually I'm not a big reality show watcher. But you
wouldn't be on another one? Would I be on another
reality show?
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Like if you could pick any reality show right now,
would you be on another?
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I can tell you what reality shows are out there.
I don't really watch it. Okay, this blind is not
really one of our castes. That No, I just kidn't
making that up. We don't want to we don't want
to get in trouble. No, he's gone now, so like
I can talk about him. But uh, I thought he
(05:55):
was on Love to Handle. Okay, yeah, that's another one.
That's the same thing. Now, it's like the same tear
out the handle is when like.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
You've got to just have sex with each other you
can't stop yourself, and then love is blind, like there's
like you can't see the person until you agree to
marry them and.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Then you see what they finally look like. Mary. Yeah,
they actually get married.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Some of them don't because Bachelorette and Bachelor, I know,
but those get boring.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Oh they're boring. Yeah, those never I never got into
their shows either.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
I tried to watch The Golden Bachelor. It was like, whatever,
So you love golf, you do I want to start golfing?
Speaker 3 (06:32):
You want to teach me.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
I've actually been trying to find a coach and there's
a right close to me because I've been looking at
golf places. There's like a public one and like whatever,
and I really that's like been my goal this year
is to start golfing.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
You totally should, especially now. And I tell this someoneman
all the time that there is no, not really many
females in golf. The best thing about golf and being
female is you don't actually have to be good. Yeah,
given a male like you can't you just golf by yourself.
You don't have to be Yeah, there's no teams, it's
just you, you know, your own self. I started two years ago.
(07:08):
Two okay, so that's kind of No, I'm not good
at all. I even post like my bad everything. I
usually post the worst of the worst. Would it's funny,
he would be good, like I've good, like I have
a coach drive all that stuff.
Speaker 5 (07:20):
But now I'm not ship.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
I wish I could say that was good. But because
I heard you better than you think. Yes, I'm better.
No I'm not that good.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
I'm not that good.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
But you've only been doing it for two years. Yeah,
you have to golf almost every people practice every single day.
Then like you will become obsessed once you know.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Because you know what I know this is not really
the same, but I love top golf. Like when a
guy invis me out, I'm like, can we go to top golf?
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Like I always yeah.
Speaker 5 (07:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
I'm actually a member at Calabasa's country Club.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
So you know, I tried to join that country club.
I think it's that one, but they were trying to
charge me like three hundred thousand for the year. Oh yeah,
so a little let me know these I wasn't going
to pay that, Like, I was like, well, now we'll
go into DBT.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Just trying to be.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Yes, yes, I really do, I really do whatever.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Yeah, So are you single right now? I am just
doing my thing? So does that mean single? That means
or that means you have a situation You're a situation ship?
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Yeah that's nice. I love situation ship. What's your worst
and best date?
Speaker 3 (08:32):
You know that sounds so sad. I couldn't tell you
the last time you've been on a date? I had, Okay,
I know the last time I've been on a date,
and it was really amazing. It was one of the
most refreshing dates ever. What did you do? Grab sushi?
We just got sushi? Yeah, that's nice, A nice chill
and I said that because I'm like, listen, I'm a
(08:53):
fucking in an now girl. You know you're taking me
to like I'm not like I love Susie, but like
this is all up front. Yeah, give me some give
me something that I'll make my stomach hurt, right, you know,
and I have to run some fast food. Yeah, so
I don't have to like try to be like, oh,
I don't want to go to your house right now,
I'm going to go to my house. Yeah, in and out. Sorry,
(09:15):
I need my alone time and it's not with my toys. Yeah.
So it's such a long comment. Yeah, here's me swearing
and then I use like words like potty. But that
last date was very refreshing. You don't have a bad
date like that. You would never like I'm very like
(09:37):
unfiltered in transparents, I'm trush, trying to think like a
bad day. I don't think I've gone on that many
dates to have a bad date. I've had just mediocre
like give me out of the situation, and I'm like
texting my friend call me pretend like something that. But
at this point in my life, I'm like I don't
need to fake anything for anyone, can't you have a kid,
like you can't like, don't waste my time because I
(09:59):
could be swending with my daughter, So yeah, don't waste
my time. I just I'm at the point of my life.
I just am so unfiltered and I'm like, this is
not going as expected. Do you say that to their face?
I want to say, it's so harsh unless they were
being like nasty or something. I'm like, this is a
terrible day, you know, I just can't think of it.
And then you just walk out. I would just walk out.
I would pay for my own my own food. Wow,
(10:21):
just to degree them. I like, yeah, it's such a yes.
I like, I would like, you're a pansy and I'm
going to go pay for my own food, not yours.
Speaker 5 (10:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
I love doing that when a guy it takes me
on the date and I'll pull my card out too,
and I'll be like, oh, yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
I always try to pay. Yeah, I will whip out
the card. I'm more than happy to pay for my
own food. I'll whip up my car, but you don't
your card if you don't whip about yours, Like that happened,
where someone has.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
That happened.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
I would definitely talk about that experience, but that's never happened.
But I always whip out my card always, yeah, just
I do just ask like I know that they're going
to offer to be like no, no, I got it,
but I do it as like.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
A power trip. Yeah, I'm really big on power trips. Yea,
they know me too, what's up?
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Yeah, and a broke bitch like I can afford my food.
But also you need to be a gentleman. Yeah, absolutely, yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Yeah, I've never had a guy that's let me pay.
I don't think anyways if you're taking a guy shopping. Ever,
I've taken a guy shopping once.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
Not like not in a relationship, like just a random
guy I was.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
In a relationship for like oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
I always joke too. I'm like, I just want a
sugar baby. Oh I love having little sugar baby because
it feels like I don't know if it's like the
alpa in us or like I like or like and
I'm talking like people are like sugar. They get a
confused and like, no, I want to be the sugar mama,
and like they love it. They get obsessed when you're
their sugar mama. I just do that with every man.
(11:47):
Sometimes a little too much. It's like a rewarding It's
like a rewarding thing or something. What is it? When
are you born?
Speaker 2 (11:53):
I hate when people do this, but I feel like
you'reing aries.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
No no, see I should I should have. Yeah, I
am actually scor for you. Yeah no, no, I'm a Gemini.
Oh yeah, duh that one. Like what does that mean?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Every Gemini is like so dominant, like just so aggressive,
so dominant because it's June, right, yeah, June Mariland memory
those people very special people are born in the first
September first. It's actually like a thing if number of
people that are born in the first tend to be
like dominant in leaders and like people like that are
(12:32):
very like. People born on the twenty third typically tend
to be like attractive people.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
It's like a thing. I wasn't born on the twenty third,
but like I know the first we're hot as fuck,
we're aas we are successful. They tend to be American
about myself.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Like yeah, but it's true, they tend to be like
dominant people.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Yeah, I don't mean many people born in the first.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
My mom's also born on the first. Really wow, and Shrewsbury.
I don't mean actually, I don't meet many people born
in the first either. I think I don't think I
know anyone born in the first besides me. Girl, you
forgot about now?
Speaker 4 (13:10):
Ye don't change the something?
Speaker 3 (13:27):
What the fuck is this piece of ship? All right?
Speaker 2 (13:30):
So we love to do hot topics, and I really
like this one. It's a quick guy to love bombing
for people in our first You love the love bombing?
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Vogue has recently published a full write up on what
exactly love bombing is and it's modern day effects on
dating scenes.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Have you been loved bombing? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:52):
How many times?
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Once? One time? Oh wow? Okay, so not that many,
but I never experienced it before, So I was like,
what the fuck is going on?
Speaker 4 (13:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Like what is this? I mean? Then I discovered the word.
I was like, oh, yeah, it's it's like a narcissist thing.
It is.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Most of us are no longer strangers to having a
new partner love bomb us. It's such a modern day thing.
Plastered all over social media. People are calling out love
bombing as a bad thing, saying that it shows red
flags that your new partner is manipulative. I agree, you know,
let me keep reading. They love putting in a lot
of bullet points too many? Is love bombing a positive
(14:31):
or negative thing? Does it depend on the person and
their motives and the relationship and what can we do
to be careful with like love bombing? Does it like
describe who somebody really is? If they're really manipulative? What
are they trying to get from you? Are they just
a hopeless romantic? Like do you think that in a
way love bombing can be a good thing?
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Like what are your thoughts? You said you've been loved mom?
Bombing is terrible.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
I feel like there needs there needs to be a
window because I reading through this and they're not saying, like,
is love bombing within like the first couple of days
of meeting someone? Is love bombing in the first couple
of months? Like what's an appropriate time to tell someone?
Speaker 3 (15:10):
It's all relative, but like I think the first day
everyone's putting on a front and in a little way, right,
a little sprinkle of a front. When you were love bombed?
How soon did they tell you? Did they tell me
I was love They don't say that they're love bombing, well, no,
I know, but when it was like the first time
that they Like how I think when you start to
realize like things are changing, like characteristics and then like
certain behaviorism.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
So you never had someone like say, like in the
first couple of weeks, like I love you like right away, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
But like there's a lot of things that go behind
love bombing. It's not just I love you. It's like this,
let's get very odd at this charisma, Like it's not
just one thing. There's so many properties. I guess you
can say that go behind love bombing and you don't
even realize it until you realize everything just changes one
day and you're like, oh, what's happening right now? Like
is this borderline personality? Like is it's like a like
(15:59):
it Like I was gonna say that maybe it's multiple personalities.
Like I'm like, am I feel like what you're talking about?
What blit was scary like that would be the letters.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
But yeah, yeah, no, I think love bombing is like
a very serious thing. It's more and more. I can't
I've never not been love bombed. I realize that every
relationship has been love bombing and like manipulative. I've never
had a guy in an appropriate time frame tell me
that they love me. It's always like in the first
couple of weeks, or it's after they've done something wrong
and I'm just not into it anymore, and I'm like listen,
(16:32):
like you've done this in like the early stages, and
it comes in with I just.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Want to tell you that I love you, and you're
like like you yeah, you too, but like fuck, like
you speak too, Okay. Now, I do think it is
a personality Issue's a personality issue. I think it's like,
uh yeah, there's all different kinds of personality disorders, and
it's definitely like it gives me a little BPD borderline
(16:59):
personality disorder. For sure. It's scary, it's super scary, but
you know what it is. It's social media. It's social media.
You go back ten years ago, no one had these issues.
People were together for longer than what it is now,
and people talk about this all the time. They're like, well,
people are more willing now to speak up and say
things because like it's not traditional anymore. I was like,
(17:20):
but also, there's so many variables and factors that go
into that, and ten years ago, like we didn't have
these distractions. We had distractions and we were probably like wow,
my space, Wow, my space, miss sucking. I know, I
know my top my top four was the ship. Yeah,
my Space Tom. I'm trying to golf with my Space Tom.
But anyways, at the Playboy Bunny background, that was of course,
(17:42):
of course good litterary ones. Yeah you knew the codes.
We knew had a fucking code. Okay, but I digress,
But like we literally have an app for fucking everything,
for fucking literally.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Well yeah, one of the hot topics is about Tokyo
and how the governments are going to be the ones
to oversee their Tinder, like there's no longer.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Love bombing, is it illegal? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Well, like that's another thing is like the apps and
stuff like that, Like it's they're literally saying, how seventy
percent of people, you know, they want a partner, but
they are making sure that people are actually single on there,
that their motives are actually.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Pure, and that they really like great.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Yeah, I think it's great, but I think it's weird.
But I think it's becomes from it comes from the
love bombing and the social media.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Like just people go so crazy they think that they
have access to everything in the palm of their hands,
and then they just get rid of it and then
they just are like, well, love bomb, love bomb. Maybe
they're maybe they're genuine pure intentions from the getting aren't
to love bomb, and then they just pick out their phone,
these meaning their phone, and they're like, well, she's hot.
(18:48):
I know I can get this girl. And then the
love bombing is a bomb. They don't even realize they
blew it up and it's a great fucking love that. Yeah,
you know. So it's just like full fucking access. And
I think that's what it is. They're addicted. They're addicted
to this.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Do you think they really feel like they mean it
when they say it, or because I feel like they
think that women we want to be like they're like
women want to be loved so hard and so like quick, and.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
They want to be married right away.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
And then they they're like, let me just tell her
what she wants to hear. Do you think they are like, man,
this girl's so cool, she's stayed in a way.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
I love her. I think a lot of men don't
know what love is. And so then when they say
I love you and they show this romantic side so
fast as soon is because men do fall hard in
the beginning. Women don't. Women take their time. Women are like, yeah,
I really like them. We get invested in enjoying and
(19:40):
gross women. I'm not speaking for all, I'm not speaking
for most men, but like you know, majority they take
we take her time. We like to just savor the
moments and stuff like that. Men fall in love faster
than women, but women's love stays longer than men, And
so I don't think it's on purpose, but I think
it's starting to become on purpose because because of the
(20:01):
access that we all have in the palm of our hands,
you know. So I just think it's like it becomes
such a norm. I hate when your love bomb during sex. Yeah,
I was. You get me really scared because.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
You're looking in your eyes and sit here like, oh,
I always love bomb, don't Right now?
Speaker 4 (20:19):
That was me.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
I was a victim of that.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
And you never told someone you loved them during sex.
Me first, I haven't.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
Me no, like everyone's told me that during sex. It
scared you, right, I was, like, when did you find
the rhythm to like find a pause in between and
take a breather and say I love you and full
the full three words? Like you thought that it wasn't
just love that was important than my orgasm? Right now?
You thought that was way more important because you just
found a gap in between the thrust thing and the
(20:49):
rhythm and like I love you. I'm like, what if
that was my orgasm?
Speaker 2 (20:52):
What if self to you that you would get up
and run away?
Speaker 3 (20:56):
That's what they would do. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, imagine
man climax in getting climax I love you. I would
destroy his his climax, I would destroy his come.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
You know, I'm gonna start doing that scare them. And
there's been days where and then like what if I
just like acted one day like I acted the way
these men act, like just very obsessive, like all over them.
Like what if I really scared the funk out of
them like they do to me?
Speaker 3 (21:23):
How would they react? Instead of being men? A man
would call you a psychopath?
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Yes, if we acted exactly, how even if I just
sit here and don't say anything.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
You don't say anything, and that always look like a psychopath, bro,
because she looks like a psychopath. Yeah, I know. So
even if we don't say anything, for a psychopath, if
we respond to their bullshit or psycho, I'm like, do
you realize what created women? endSo creating like these monsters,
these monsters. So speak us monsters, you men, you did this,
you did this to us. Whatever.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Screw them them, screw them at the same time, get
rid of them, all right. So Cosmopolitans and Magazine is
saying that breaking up with someone over text is like okay.
In this generation, they're saying, it's okay. What do you think?
It says breaking up with someone is always hard, and
doing it over text is considered one of the worst
(22:13):
ways to do it. However, recently they're saying that it's
better to be able to hide and not break down
in front of the person if you're the dumpy and
avoids the awkward situation for the dumper.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
I get got it.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Benefits gives the dumper a record of their breakup. If
things get messy in the aftermath, you could set the
terms of your breakup, you know, as you remove the
party the person. If things turn worse, then you know,
you could just break contact easily with them.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
I agree with I think, I agree, that's yeah. I agree.
That's my generation. That's my generation. I agree with all
the pros to that is what I'm saying. I agree that, like, yeah,
you have a record of everything, you have conversation and
we're speaking on you know, a female telling a man
that where we're with Yeah, yeah, not vice versa.
Speaker 5 (23:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
So some men don't take breakups that well. They can
go crazy, and they do, they do go crazy, And
so I like it, and that standpoint Yes, in a
text to feel safe and have everything and boundaries and
proof and stuff like that. Sure do I agree with
(23:22):
it fully now. One, I'm a very alpha, powerful woman,
and I like to look at someone in their eyes
and give them the fucking deaths there because clearly I'm
breaking up with you for a fucking reason and want
I want them to feel it, like the pain in
their fucking soul.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
If someone's going to break up with me, I'd rather
than do it through tex so I could just click
out of it and.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Be like oh and then move on.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
I don't want it face to face because I could
see how like yeah, like I don't want that. But
say you're in a five year, seven year relationship, it's
not appropriate to break up with the person over to sure,
if you're living with a person, not appropriate to break
up with them over text. I think it's like these
relationships at the very beginning that are serious, but like
maybe not as serious as.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
They could be.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Like, if you're engaged with someone, I don't think you
should break up with them three times engaged with like
the month.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
In your love bond. Put I do, yeah, I do.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Like when I'm done with someone, like I just did
it this morning, Like.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
Just for this morning. Is that what you just said? Yeah,
not really got a podcast, give me the team.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
I wasn't really with them. They love bumb me by
the way, anyway, So I like to text like you
did this, this, this, this, this, Because if I'm having
a conversation with someone, they typically interrupt me or I
get like I can't get everything that I've been wanting
to say, like I'll only say one thing before they
have to say something back, and I don't get everything out,
(24:49):
and then I get manipulated to like stay, and then
I feel bad, like I'll be.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
Like, oh god, that's because with a narcissism, Yeah of course, yeah,
I've been there, done that.
Speaker 4 (24:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
There terrible people. So that's so in this scenario, yes,
through text is so appropriate because it's like they're narcissists.
They're like literally a few screws are loose, and you
can't tell a narcissist they're a narcissist, they don't think
it was crazy.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
I feel like there needs to be more research on
narcissism and like how to treat it, because there's no treatment.
So there's a medication for everything, but there's no medication
for for narcissism.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Like I think narcissism stems from a disorder, you know,
So I don't think it Narcissimism is like kind of
built in your personality, so I think it. I think
narcissism could be bipolar and or borderline personality disorder, or
just some sort of disorder it comes from, you know,
implemented into one of those disorders, because I just don't
think it's just narcissmism, you know. I think it's just
(25:47):
that's a piece of their disorder.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
I've dated so many narcissists that I'm just now this
year I really have like learned what it is because
I thought they were just like self centered people. I
could rant all day long about narcissism, but oh me too, girls,
I thought they were just self centered people. But I
really feel like it's truly like a mental illness because
there's been times where it's been like, what do you
mean do you. There's a book called It's not You,
(26:09):
It's Some Yeah yeah, and I love that book and
it goes over there's actually seven forms of narcissism, and
like one of them is like the person that just
makes you feel sorry for them, like they can't ever
do like anything right, but you're the problem.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
They're like, woe is me? You know. There's a's seven
different ones, and and each one is to make you
feel less though, each one of the all of them,
all of it. And they don't realize that they're doing it.
That's the thing.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
It's like they literally don't. I always thought like, okay,
they're just lying. They don't think that they've done this,
or they know that they've done this, they're just denying it.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
They really don't know. It's a it's a pathological liar toy.
And there's so many things that go into being a narcissist.
And they're so convinced, so convinced, and it's actually sad.
They're so convinced that nothing is wrong with them. They're
doing no harm, no wrong. So that's why, like I
honestly do genuinely feel bad for those people, because there's
(27:03):
they can't come up and balance, there's there's no fixing it,
and there they don't want to fix it because they
truly genuinely believe there's nothing wrong with themselves and you
can't be that girl to help fix it.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
And the odd thing about us, it's like severe low
self esteem. But the person doesn't act like they love
them so they're so confident, but the confidence comes from
like such a lack of love things that they have
for themselves absolutely, and they don't see it. I'm like
they're filling a void for sure by obsessing over themselves.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
It's so weird, so I could I don't every.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Want to be with another narcissistem actually like really traumatized
and like I get scared any type of like little
signs of narcissism, I'll be like, I'll just run away.
Same like if I try to tell you how my
feelings are and you come back with my comeback, or
I don't even talk at on what I just said
to you. Narcissists are emotionally in the charge. Yeah, Chure,
it's emotionally mature. It's not even a jab.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
It's like they just don't have the maturity level of
a normal adult person. That's the same age as them.
They're emotionally mature, they don't have that in them. But
maybe it's like mommy stuff too.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Oh yeah, they always I noticed like with the guys
that have narcissism, they have mommy issues.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
And mommy issues like have you known that? Yes, which
is really weird, right, Yes, it's almost like their moms
love them, yeah, so hard and my little narcissism. Thinking
about it because I'm a mom, I was like, I
don't hope my daughter never like thinks that. I'm like,
I show a love all the time, and I'm all
into like gentle parenting and stuff like that, but I
(28:32):
think that the moms show them harsh love.
Speaker 4 (28:35):
You know.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Yeah, no, this is what it is because I've been around,
like I said, narcissists, and like the moms are actually abusive.
They're actually verbally abusive, and it's actually that's why you
feel bad for them. It is because like the moms
will shit on them and make them feel like they're
not good enough, and then to because the moms feel
bad about it, and the baby love yes, son, I
love like you're so amazing, and then the next day they'll.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Be like they're a heart yeah, and a harpie'll they'll
call their moms and their moms will be their cooking
breakfast for them next day, and then the mom will
be like, you idiot, here's your sandwich. Yeah, like, oh,
I love that mommy language. That's not me. I don't
like do that to my Like she's my daughter's a gem.
She's like kind hearted. She doesn't like if I yelled
(29:19):
at her, she probably cries. She's so intuitive and she's
so like just understanding of emotions and stuff like that.
But I never I haven't yelled at her and never
to me, you're you're an angel.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Never once did my mom yell at me. Never once
did I get grounded, like when I tell you, never
once was I spanked. I was never punished. Maybe that's
like a bad thing, but I was never in trouble
and I never did anything bad though really yeah, just
like regular stuff.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
But and for me, I don't yell. I don't touch
her appointment.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
It is enough for some children, like my sister doesn't
understand their children.
Speaker 3 (29:54):
We're adults, Like what are we doing here? Like we
were like, yeah, this is the one thing that I
cann't actually agree on with things adapting and justing to
time is like when we were younger, that was what
people did. They spank their kids, they hit their kids.
It was acceptable. It was trauma, but that was the
norm then. And then we kind of evolved and realized, like, wait,
(30:14):
this is why everyone has trauma, Like it stems from
our parents. And at least I'm talking about girls because
I have a daughter. But then these women get into
these terrible relationships because of their childhood, you know, because
they're so used to that life and stuff like that.
Not all and that's not like I can't fully blame
it on parenting and stuff because other things happen and
other triggers and stuff like that. But majority of people,
(30:35):
the way they are is because their parents.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
I'm very big into therapy and stuff like that. I'm
trying to work through like some of my childhood stuff.
You know, my early years of my life were just
very horrible, and so I have to work through that
as an adult. Right in an odd way, I'm very
thankful for it. I know that sounds bad, but.
Speaker 3 (30:54):
No, it sounds bad, but now I'm super the same way,
I'm super appreciative. I have so much gratitude for everything that's.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Happened to have a daughter, like or just a kid
in general with how this world is, I've never asked
she is.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
Locked away, But she's locked away my basements, you know,
like you didn't.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
You weren't like, oh my god, Like this is so terrifying,
how many kids?
Speaker 3 (31:14):
And I think about it and I'm like, oh goodness,
I am on birth control terrified. Yeah, but seeing that
girl happy when for simple thing, it makes you appreciate life.
She teaches me so much to just be calm, understanding,
check myself, you know, but seeing her something as simple
(31:34):
as as giving her a cookie and she's happy and
appreciative of her a fucking cookie. And these other fucking
people out here are crying because they they like whatever,
like their rolls Royce broke, Yes, exactly, They're they're rented
out rolls Royce spoken about. Yeah, like, I rather be
around my daughter and get that pure, pure genuine love
and know pure genuine love exists, and it's right here
(31:57):
in the pone in my hands. You know. So yes,
I am rified, because I am terrified because for talking
about the dating culture, I'm like, how much worse can
this get? As she gets older? You know?
Speaker 2 (32:06):
Ter I know it's gonna get worse. I'm twenty I'm
going to be twenty eight. I said I wanted to
have a kid at thirty. I think I'm going to
push it to thirty five now and then check back
in with myself and see like where I'm at.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
And it's very rewarding. No matter what happens.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
It's going to a sperm donor. Oh perfect, that's a
I froze my eggs. So my plan is to actually
use a sperm donor. I don't want to have a
kid with somebody, like I don't want to have a
bad baby dad. I don't need help from a man.
I'd rather explain to my kid that I bought sperm.
I know that sounds horrible, but like that I went
to a sperm bank.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
I really wanted to of this decision.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
And then I don't want to have to explain to
them that, oh, your dad doesn't want to be around you.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
Yeah, because you don't know if you're going to have
children with somebody, and then you have children with some
fucking narcissist, and then they come in and out, and
then you're having to explain each time they show they
love bomb your kids. It's love bombing in and out,
in and out and out, back and forth because they
did it to you. What terrible person? Why explain it
even go down down that rabbit hole. I'm so for
this side.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
And I'm super scared to pay someone child support because
all of my exes, if I had kids with them,
I would actually be paying them child support, even though
like I thought we were making the same amount, or
maybe they even made more. But like people's financial situations, you.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
Want to say child support if they have full custody.
If you have full cust If you have full custody,
you're your mother and your baby. And that's not hard
to do for a woman, is I don't even want
to do that. I don't even want to go to court, Like,
I don't even want It's your decision, it's your it's
your everything, especially California there's all that other states like that.
But yeah, I'm scared.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
I have I have a few friends that like they
they don't either don't get anything.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
It's just I don't want to pay te Yeah, you
don't don't even wants to thought that's supershit anyways.
Speaker 5 (33:49):
In general, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
We're going to do the hotline questions Okay, I haven't
read these yet, so these are from fans. They could
be really fine at times, actually all the time. What
do I tell my best friend after her boyfriend used
a remote controller vibrator on her in front of me? Recently,
I went to play golf with my best friend and
her boyfriend. While playing, she kept grabbing her crotch while
(34:34):
her boyfriend was messing with his phone. Around nine or
ten hole, what does that mean?
Speaker 3 (34:40):
There's eighteen holes halfway through?
Speaker 4 (34:42):
All right?
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Well, okay, I was about to say this is really
turning down.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
I mean, tell me about it.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
Around or nine or ten hole. She looked at him
and told him loudly turned it off. I played dumb,
and I knew what was happening, as I own a
similar to I haven't talked to her since this happened.
I feel very uncomfortable. I'm not sure what to say
to her.
Speaker 3 (35:05):
I know exactly what the thing that you put in
your underwear that's like the magnet and like there's a magnet. Yeah,
it's like a magnet you put I haven't used it yet,
but I have it.
Speaker 4 (35:16):
Of those.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
I'm just like, how do you use this? I'm just like,
don't feel like downloading an app. But yeah, it's a
thing you put in your like I guess there's other
ways of using it, but you can put it in
your underwear one side as a magnet to stay in
like attached, you know, the underwears in between. And it
doesn't like that. And it's like this little like vibrator
thing that can go on your like clit and and
(35:37):
then there's an app that someone can use and adjust
the vibrations of it.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
See, I don't Yeah, I don't like that. I don't
like exposing your friends in pemal to sexual things if
it's not a conversation before coming from the sex industry,
like I think it's like a sexual things need to
have a conversation before, like any type of way type
of like yeah, even if it has nothing to do like,
that's very not I would partually not even be friends
(36:03):
with someone over that. I'd be like that was too
much for me.
Speaker 3 (36:06):
That's the roots and understated.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
Could have golfing on your own and done that, you're
a little like absolutely. The problem is they probably were
turned on by the fact that there was somebody out there.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
Did you do it?
Speaker 4 (36:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (36:16):
I was probably like a little king Yeah, that's probably why. Otherwise,
why are you horny? Like no golf golfing? Like I'm
fucking with your friend, I'm looking sweating, okay, Like, don't
talk to me. I just missed the fucking piet and
I don't want to be talked to or vibrated on.
So like no, that would be like the least of
my worries is getting an orgasm on the ninth halfway through.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
No way, no way, I cannot be your friend, Like
you made me very uncomfortable with you know, this whole
vibrating situation, the fact that you didn't even bring it
to my attention and I had to sit there uncomfortable
the whole time and figured it Like figuring it out
makes me not want to be your friend, plain and simple.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
Yeah, I mean I would a little bit wantic.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
Like I've had guys who are distorting, Like my friend
was staying here for a little bit with me, and
I had a guy over and I was like, are
you cool even though this is my house?
Speaker 3 (37:05):
Like are you cool with me having sex like in
the in my own room?
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Like that was a conversation before, you know, Like I
would never just have someone over and then just start
screaming loud, fucking.
Speaker 3 (37:17):
You're a couple. And the guy was staying over no,
No one of my girlfriends.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
She needed a place to stay, and so one of
these really hot guys was in town because it's like
the only day he's in town. Are you cool while
you're staying at my place?
Speaker 4 (37:29):
I have?
Speaker 3 (37:32):
She's like, yeah, that's totally.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
Fine, But I would I even asked in my own home,
like I always, are you okay with it? And if
she said no, I would have totally been like, totally
get it, Like I don't want to hear you screaming either.
Speaker 3 (37:45):
You know you like but you're and you insinuate things
and you you wore and you're like, guy, say in
my bed, this is what's gonna happen.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
Yeah, I do ask that too, Like I she even
helped clean up my place.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
She was like, oh clean, You're gonna say something else.
I was like, she right, She's like.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
That. I love her.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
So next question is I'm tired of my boyfriend giving
me horrible gifts. I need him to do better. I've
been with my boyfriend for around five years now. In
all aspects, he's amazing. However, his gift giving has been
weak at best, cheap jewelry perfume I don't like. However,
his last gift was the worst. He recently took a
solo vacation as I didn't have time off work. It
(38:30):
was my birthday last week and I had high hopes
this year. All he gave me was a frame photo
of him on vacation. Okay, sorry, he gave a frame
photo just of himself solely, or was it a photo
of them together? I'm guessing just a photo of himself
on vacation. I thought for a second it was gonna
(38:51):
be a photo of them together, and I was gonna
be like, girls, stop, I have my One of my
love languages is not gift giving. It's actually the opposite.
Guys are going to be upset because they all listen
to my podcast. But I don't want gifts from guys
because I feel like it buys my attention and I
want one on one time. I want words of affirmation.
(39:12):
So I can't relate to this in a way. But
I have so many friends where that is so important
to them. I think it's because they want the guy
to pay attention to what they like. It's not necessarily like, Okay,
if the value kind of things. Yeah, see, I think
that's a little bit of that too with this generation.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
But like I think it's just women wanting.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
To be heard that they He was like, Okay, she
does really like this type of stuff. But personally for me,
I take cheap jewelry. I take me to cheap perfume
and the gesture.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
I'm all about, like I'll make a card, I'll make something,
I'll make dinner. I will for a gift, and I'm
just not into materialistic things. All my stuff I will
buy for myself. It makes me happy because it's my
don't mean it's me doing the shopping, it's me spending
the money. I get pleasure from gifting something that's sentimental
(40:02):
and something that means means, something that you thought about. Like, Okay,
he likes this, he likes that. I want to receive
love and getting to like more intimity, quality time. I'd
rather have that. Don't buy me a Schnell bag that
looks like a bribe to me, that looks like I
should be with you longer. That looks like that's guilty
(40:23):
and you feel guilty. It's a guilty thing. I don't
know being with a narcissist. You're just like like you
can't even handle like gifts and and all.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
That stuff, and you're just like I just I was
in a relationship where the guy didn't buy me, not
one thing, and it was my happiest relationship. I'm not
gonna let we spent every day together, we spent all
day together, and we didn't buy each other not well.
I actually I'm a big gift giver, that's the thing.
So I give him and I and I think it
confuses people. But for this girl, giving a photo of
(40:54):
yourself on vacation when you can couldn't even go, that's rude.
That would piss me off.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
If a man has a photo of himself in a frame,
which I've seen a man, yeah, run.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
I think if he gave it as like a little necklace,
one of those what are they called, and it was
a photo of himself, I would really like that.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
For sure, in a fucking picture frame. No, and then
what what is he doing? Is he just.
Speaker 5 (41:21):
Right?
Speaker 3 (41:22):
What the fuck are you doing in this photo? Is this?
Is it is his shirt off? Because you better fucking
be even if you're a chisel, And I'll be like,
that's that doesn't seem like straight.
Speaker 2 (41:31):
I actually, now that I think about it, I had
a photo of one of my exes when I was
with him in a picture frame, and I would put
it down every time I would have other guys embarrassed
and well, no, it wasn't that I had other guys
coming over that I was cheating on him with. And
he one time the photo wasn't up and he was like,
where's the photo?
Speaker 3 (41:48):
Why is it gone? And he knew instantly, and I
was like, this picture frame broke. I would be embarrassed.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
I'd be like, well, I can't say I'm embarrassed because
I'm cheating on you.
Speaker 3 (41:59):
Say nor a situation if I had, I wouldn't have this.
But if I have a picture of my man and
he's just him, just like standing with super sexy, I
don't give a fuck, then send me a sexy photo
and like, send me that photo. I used to say.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
I used to set one of my exes as my
screensaver and it was just a photo of him and
there was a live photo and I would press it.
Speaker 3 (42:21):
Like all day long and be like, oh, yeah, he
totally loved me. He totally loved me. But yeah, yeah,
because you're break up.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
With him though, girl that he doesn't sound like I say,
forget like the cheap gifts, because maybe that's all he
can afford. But like the picture frame thing, I'd be like, listen,
this is kind of this is weird.
Speaker 3 (42:42):
This is weird, and it seems like a beginning relationship
the way she's explaining everything. So it's like, just run
for five years now, I've been with him. Why wouldn't
you say anything from the get go, like taking five
years to realize this and say this and write a
review like about her. Yeah, Okay, I don't know what
(43:02):
to get. I don't know what advice to give you
at this point, because you're you're in it. You're you're
in it. You're in it. You dug that grave.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
Throw the picture away, yeah, or take the photo out
and put a photo of you guys together and be
like I would just put like a stick figure version
of myself and right next to him, just like, you know,
just make it cuter.
Speaker 3 (43:20):
But yeah, just make.
Speaker 2 (43:21):
It all right, Steph. I love that you're easy to
talk to for real, and I'm gonna like, I'm gonna
I enjoyed this.
Speaker 3 (43:30):
We have a lot of like similarities, right, I love
to get like more intimate in the conversations. But like
we have like I know, why don't you come back
on something? Yeah, let's do it for sure. And I
really love to speak on camera and like so like
that's why hating because I'm like, I have so much
ship to say.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
Yeah, anything you want to plug besides the house of heat.
Speaker 3 (43:52):
House of heat on your Instagram. All my handles are
the same. It's stuff me, so stuff me on Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, Facebook.
I think that's it for now. TikTok you have a
TikTok talk Yeah, yes, if you underscore Stephane, Okay, damn
it wants somebody took it. Yeah, somebody took that one.
But yeah, it's definitely on all the social media platforms.
(44:14):
I'm all over the place and you have an O
f right. Yes, okay, nice, that's Stuffane as well.
Speaker 4 (44:19):
Nice.
Speaker 3 (44:19):
I like to try to plug that for people. Yeah,
I know, Stephane. Second Grace. Yes, it's thriving right now,
so good, good for you. I love to hear that
all of it's doing well. Congrats you.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
It's a good place to be in life when everything's
working out, everything's.
Speaker 3 (44:36):
Going out, everything, everything always goes as well. Yeah good.
I love that. It's my affirmation of the day.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
I love that, all right, heartbreakers, See you next time,
the same, in the same
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