Faith in the Dark: Embracing What Terrifies You

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Have you ever felt like an oddball, an outlier whose thoughts and behaviors set you apart from the mainstream? This deeply personal exploration speaks directly to those who sense an inexplicable void within that conventional success simply cannot fill.

We delve into the fascinating paradox facing high-achievers: the confidence that allows us to excel can simultaneously prevent us from experiencing the genuine fear necessary for spiritual transformation. Just as Batman couldn't escape his prison while clinging to a safety rope, we sometimes need to abandon our self-reliance to access deeper spiritual strength. The most profound growth often waits on the other side of what terrifies us most.

The concept of the "enigmatic choice" forms the heart of this conversation. If you seek extraordinary outcomes in your life, you must be willing to make choices that defy conventional logic. For some, this might mean walking away from material success, changing relationships, or leaving comfortable situations that no longer serve your spiritual growth. What's particularly beautiful about this journey is how the seeds of kindness planted throughout your life become the very support system you need when stepping into the unknown.

This episode offers both challenge and comfort. For those carrying regrets about past choices, there's a powerful reminder that God's forgiveness creates opportunity for transformation at any moment. The objective isn't punishment but behavioral change. And for fellow oddballs seeking to fill that elusive hole within, consider what truly terrifies you – not as something to avoid, but as the very doorway to the fulfillment you seek. Will you choose to take the leap of faith, or eventually get pushed into it? The choice, ultimately, is yours.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
these intersections that create this drama, right,
that seems so overly unbearableto carry.
When those things happen, theonly thing you can do eventually
is like ask God for help.
Is that you're crossing,crossing the threshold moments?
Yeah, it's where you're leavingthe familiar yeah, yeah, yeah,

(00:24):
yeah.
And you can either choose it oryou're going to get shoved.
But, like Mark, mark thosewords, you can either choose it
or you're going to get shoved.
Yeah, in general, the listenersof this segment that call

(01:10):
themselves an oddball or theyalign with oddball type behavior
, meaning there's something inthem that makes them feel like
an outlier or an outsider, orthe way that they think or move
or shake just feels like ananomaly in the story.
Like that is who I am talkingto in this segment, and my goal
is to offer a little bit ofguidance, yes, and comfort that
you're not alone.
I believe, just given my livedexperience, that eventually we

(01:31):
have to do something thatterrifies us, like absolutely
terrifies us.
The challenge is, not manythings create fear in our lives.
We have so much confidence inourselves, in our ability to

(01:57):
solve problems, that feardoesn't creep in too often, and
so that creates a responsibilityfor us to be even more
cognizant and aware of ourbehavior, because our

(02:21):
relationship with fear looks alittle bit different.
Here's something that's comingto mind right now.
I'm thinking of the dark night.
I'm actually thinking of theone where Batman is fighting
Bane and Bane like breaks hisback or whatever and he's like

(03:01):
stuck in that hole Right andhe's trying to climb out and he
has that rope tied around him,that inner spirit, that thing
that harnesses, like the deepestpart of God's will that is
within you, like he can't accessthat part of him because he

(03:31):
doesn't fear.
And so the wise gentleman inthat hole with them is just like
, oh yeah, well, you got thisrope right.
Like go be brave, go do itwithout the rope.
And then he goes and he'scourageous and he takes the leap
without the rope.
He has faith in something elseoutside of him, something deeper

(03:59):
.
I feel we are reaching for anadventure that creates a level
of discomfort that pushes usbeyond our limits.
I don't know what it is for you, but if you're an oddball, I do
recognize the feeling, thisinadequate, like hole within you

(04:24):
that you're trying to fulfill.
Like.
I know what that feels likebecause I have felt it and I
always felt I needed to build ahuge company and sell it for
billions of dollars and like doall these amazing things to like
, fill that hole?
And that was simply becausebuilding a company and selling

(04:45):
it as a unicorn was somethingthat was perceived as being
almost impossible, and so,simply because it had that
impossible asterisk on it, I waslike well, this must be a path
that can fill this hole, becausemost people don't believe that
they can reach it.

(05:07):
However, I discovered that thatwasn't the thing that actually
scared me.
I was not terrified of riskingmoney over and over and over to
build a company that could sellfor a billion plus dollars.
I wasn't fearful of that.
What I was fearful of is nothaving control and not knowing

(05:35):
the outcome.
So, since we are this far inthe podcast, let me just say
this statement in case youmissed it About three years ago,
I believe that God tapped me onthe shoulder and said follow me
, and there were no more wordsthan that.

(06:02):
It was like stepping into thedarkness and not knowing where
we're going, what we're doingand how long I will be walking
on this path and how long I willbe walking on this path, and
over time, I was called to shedall my material possessions, to

(06:28):
shed my relationship with thenatural order of these standards
that humans set up.
No-transcript Right.

(07:02):
I had to risk being that dad,and that was extremely
challenging for me.
All I could offer her was mytime, was my presence, was to
show up every single day.
However, aside from some icecream, I couldn't afford
anything.

(07:22):
And so imagine being capable ofdoing all the things, having
zero doubt in your ability toearn money, to build successful
business, to achieve anythingthat was out in the world like,

(07:48):
having the confidence to be ableto do that, and having to
choose to not pursue thosethings, to simply build an
intimate relationship withChrist every single day.
That was terrifying, because Ihad no idea how long and or why

(08:17):
I was even doing it.
So for you, as an oddball, Ichallenge you to consider If you
are called to do your versionof that Meaning, whatever the
thing is that terrifies youenough that forces you to reach

(08:39):
out and build a relationshipwith Jesus Christ.
I have no idea what it is foryou.
I'm not saying go release allyour material possessions.
That may not be your calling,and I imagine it's likely not
your calling.
My risk tolerance was simply sohigh that that was the only

(09:02):
thing that actually createdterror in me.
For you, it might be therelationship that you're in,
that you've been in for 15 years, that you know is unfulfilling

(09:26):
and you know you probably shouldhave left 10 years ago and
you're still there or the job,or the city that you live in.
Whatever it is, it is somethingthat is so far reaching and it

(09:46):
doesn't quite make sense.
Yet you know it's probably thething that you're called to do,
and the reason why you arecalled to do it is because it
doesn't make sense.
It's illogical.
One of the things that I say tohumans who want to experience

(10:13):
the outlier or the enigmaticoutcome in a story is where you
have to make the enigmaticchoice.
If you believe that you can gomake a bunch of choices that
make sense and think that theoutcome is going to be the
anomaly, that doesn't make sense, those two things don't equal.
Doing the thing that doesn'tmake sense births the outcome

(10:41):
that lives outside of the thingsthat make sense.
Yes, and here's one thing toadd to that when you do, as the
oddball, choose to take thisleap, you are going to
experience the seeds that youplanted along the way Through

(11:06):
others in that journey.
Let me color the lines a littlebit.
I chose my entire life tooperate as the good guy in the
story, meaning like I tried toalways be kind or caring or to
put others first when they werelike wanting to pursue their

(11:28):
dreams.
Like I showed up for otherpeople.
Like I was actually reallyinterested in other people
winning because I knew I wasgoing to inevitably win.
So I would prioritize helpingothers believe in themselves.
I'm just going to call thatgood guy characteristics Not

(11:50):
perfect, but God knows my mindand God knows my heart.
So God knows I was trying to bethe good guy.
I could have chose differentbehaviors.
I could have chose to bedeceptive and mean and dominant

(12:14):
and backstabbing and doing allthese like Icky type of things
that the villain in the storywould do.
Like some people make thatchoice and what I'm saying is
when you take the leap of faith,you essentially walk backwards

(12:51):
and experience all to discoverthat next step.
But over time I continuouslyexperience evidence that I was
experiencing the things that Ihad planted people along the way
that I treated well.
I then cross paths with themand they treated me well.
Well, I then crossed paths withthem and they treated me well.

(13:12):
Humans that I poured into, thatI cared for.
They were there to hold me up,to make sure that I didn't hit
the ground.
You reap what you sow, is sotrue.
So right now, wherever you'reat, choose to be a better

(13:33):
character, choose to be a moreloving character, choose to be a
more compassionate and kindcharacter, because eventually,
when you choose to take thatleap of faith and you walk
backwards in the dark, you aregoing to want to know that along

(13:58):
the way, you are going to meetthe loving seeds that you
planted.
And the reason why I'm sayingthis this way is because there's
somebody listening to thisright now and they're like I did

(14:19):
a lot of things that Ishouldn't have, and because I
did those things, I am terrifiedto take that leap of faith if
you're saying that I have towalk backwards and experience
them.
And my challenge to you is Toask God for forgiveness right
now, and again tomorrow, andagain the day after that and the

(14:41):
day after that and the dayafter that, because the
objective is not to punish you.
The objective is for you tochange your behavior.
Let me say that again Ignoranceis bliss.
So those choices that you made.

(15:02):
You may not have made them outof a malice heart.
You just made them that way.
It's just a choice that youmade, because you didn't do it
out of malice.
Asking for forgiveness is anoption Right and the reason why

(15:27):
it's an option is because theobjective isn't for you to
experience heartache andpunishment.
The objective is for you tochange your behavior.
So, moving forward, you arealso the good guy or the good
gal in the story and you show upwith unconditional love, with
fidelity, Because you'veexperienced the grace and mercy

(15:55):
of God.
So I say these words For theoddball who is seeking to fill
that hole, to experience thatthing that they just know has
been elusive, to tell you thatit is the Jesus piece.

(16:16):
I found it following the HolySpirit.
You are going to find it inyour way, if you choose to
pursue it, and you making thatconscious choice with your heart
and with your mind is the onlything that you need to do to
start, because God knows whereyou're leaning and, as we stated

(16:41):
in the last podcast, you caneither choose it or you can get
pushed into it.
The choice is yours.