Nascar on Salvia, Pokemon Cards, and Heaven's Gate - Episode 50 - Heavy Riffs Podcast

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello.

(00:07):
Hello.
Welcome.
To have you, Ruth.
Tonight we have a special guest with us, the last surviving member of Heavens Gate.
Mr. Tyler Valley.
How is Marshall Abigail doing, dude?
Good to have this, yeah.
It's all over for you.

(00:28):
Good to have you.
Did they all shave their heads?
Yeah, I mean, dude, if you're a cult you shave your head, dude, and we're like black nikes with white checks on them.
I think when you're feeling out of the paperwork at the NBA, you know, for your cult, then make you shave your head there.

(00:49):
Yeah, you get your eyes checked, you get a hair and check, and then you got a shave your head to get in their license.
Yeah, I'm Paul this fuck, bud.
It was time, it was time.
Yeah.
Whenever you decided to, you know, tell the people of the people.
I can't believe you actually did it, dude.
I was going to, I was like, this boy's not going to do it, but you actually did it.

(01:13):
When your cousin's egg and you on, you've had like four or five beers, you can wrap up in the four or five.
That's all you're. You get wrapped up in the experience of, you know, a bunch of people shaving their head all the ones for charity.
And you're just, you put a bounty on your head.
Yeah, and there's like $5,000, especially your head, everyone's stoked.

(01:34):
Yeah, let's make this asshole ball.
Well, and Evan was like, yeah, we're in Arnold, Maryland, like, you're an asshole.
If you're going to try to ask for $5,000 right now, he was like, the dude that we're here for, it took him like a year to raise that much money.
Oh my god, I was like $500.
And Evan went, he was like, I got $500 on it right now.
And I was like, $1,000.

(01:57):
And then next thing you know, it was key, yeah, we raised $1,000 like real fast and now ball this fuck.
Yeah, it looks good though. I mean, you look like, you know, like I said, heaven's gate, glass of Ivan member, you still have it, right?
My hair? Yeah.
It's in a bag.
You should have brought it with you today.
That have been, that was a great special guest.
Yeah, Tyler's fan. Tyler's there.

(02:18):
Damn man.
You know, it's always, it's always something you always forget about shit, you know, put the gas cans on the bag.
It's like a pile of hair with sunglasses.
Hey, some Googlias on the bag.
Speaking about forgetting about shit, we, this is episode 50.
Yeah.
And we've had so many brainstorming ideas about multiple things to do for this episode.

(02:40):
Yeah.
Well, my favorite, well, let's go in like a round circle talk about like our favorite ideas that we had.
Mine was that we all sit here and he gas station dick pills and just have boners for like a dollar.
That would be cool.
Just be like really horny with each other.
Yeah.
And then like 10 minutes into it would be like this up.

(03:02):
Yeah.
Everyone has their own go for a cam.
That would have been nice.
And then down there.
There's a couple other words.
Well, the gas station dick pills when, how do we really like take seatos originally?
Yeah, we were going to really dress up in the sense.
And then you and I kind of look good.
We kind of, yeah.
I mean, you do too.
I forgot you were in the middle beach in the right.

(03:24):
Yeah, yeah.
Shout out.
First shirt I ever wore on the cast.
It is true.
Oh, that's, that's, that's sure with buttons.
No, that's not true.
No, I don't think so.
Oh, the first shirt you wore on, yeah.
Yeah, the heavy squalls.
Yeah, I'm picking it up.
Yeah, yeah.
I remember.
I wasn't here for that one, but yeah, that's tight.
Yeah.
No, but like you said, dude, I don't know.
We brainstormed a bunch of ideas.

(03:45):
And then like, you know, like whenever we try to plan to do shit like that, it's just,
it's just, it's so hard to pull off.
And then like, it sounds tight while you're talking about it.
Exactly.
And when you go to execute, it's just not the real plan.
It's a hassle.
It's a hassle.
Like, everyone needs to be like just on board, which is always hard to do.
Right.

(04:06):
So, you know, you're not going to be brainstorming this for like, it's been like a month
since we've actually gotten this sit down and do it again.
So I think the best thing is just do it as we just keep going.
Just keep going.
That was so 50 or it is like, it's, it's here boys.
We're going to put out like a greatest hits of like jam.
It might still happen.
It might, but that's like, because you know, there's old commercials.
Like, the tracks like going up.

(04:28):
Yeah, there's the yellow one and yeah.
And it's like from the 90s to early down or whatever decade or nine.
And these ballots.
Yeah.
Exit that shit and like we could add it 90s in today.
Yeah.
I could soft rock it.
That's what I mean, like I could edit it like that.
But that's once again, that's a lot of work.
That's a lot of work.
Again, yeah, no, that's the other thing is like,
you do everything on ourselves.

(04:50):
Like, everything, like we don't have somebody that just like,
we pay somebody just to sit there and look for this shit and make clips and like put it all together.
It's like Tyler is talking and grinding in this room.
Staring, just a bit.
And just fucking like, sit in old beers like warm and he's like, it's, it's a tie.
It's tearing my life apart.

(05:11):
And right, dude, and I get it.
It's a lot.
Dude, no, it's, it's, I don't think people realize how much work actually has to be put into all this shit.
But it's tight.
It's not that much.
But no, but it's air about it.
But it's, it's fucking tight that we get to do this.
Absolutely.
You know what I mean?
I'm having a blast.
So no, it is fun.
We made it 50 episodes.
I never thought we would be this deep in it voice.
We're deep in the quagnard.

(05:32):
Yeah.
We're just stopping now.
We are in murky waters, but it's like, we are, like, we're 50% there, dude.
Like, you know what I mean?
We're about halfway decent.
Now we're figuring it out.
We got a good thing going in.
And you just shit yourself.
That was a laugh.
Oh, did you fart a dizzy shark?
Does this smell weird?
Yeah.
Oh, man.

(05:53):
I didn't do it.
Don't poop with pants on the cast, dude.
Can you do it in the mirror?
Is that the hope so?
Yeah, he smelled toast, talk?
Yeah.
No, not yet.
Just shit.
Talked just like, booze away from the mic for the first time.
That was shit.
It might be a mic, dude.
Have you been farting in the mic again?
No, this is brand new mic.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Yeah, I don't.
It'll be like, oh, look out.

(06:14):
Some young child made that microphone and said, you know what?
I'm going to get these guys and fart it right into that fucking wind screen.
But that's the way it goes, boys.
But yeah, no.
So yeah, episode 50.
Lots happened since we've all been, you know,
we broke up the band for about, you know, a month.
We got back together.
We're going for our slate here, boys.
50 is bound that happened.

(06:36):
A boy, shave's his head.
Like, anybody, like a girl, like, you're like kind of like a girl, dude.
Like, anytime a girl goes through some shit, you know how they like changed their hair.
But drastically.
And then like they die it or all that kind of stuff.
Well, you decided to do it.
And now, how you looking?
How you looking?
Dr. Eggman.
Yeah, a little robotic neck.

(06:58):
Well, so here's the, why are there two names?
So it's never been figured out.
Is it Dr. Eggman or is it Dr. Robot?
It's both.
I asked Blackbeard, friend of the show and he was like, it's fucking robotic neck.
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
Or no, he said is that I see.
I don't even remember what he said.
He might have said it.
It's both, man.
I think at some point he becomes like Robotnik or something.

(07:19):
I think it's depending on like the Japanese.
I don't know.
I haven't seen movie.
I haven't here.
I don't know what the show was like.
I was obsessed with Sonic because he would just slam chili dogs.
And that's how he got all his like.
He just like, that's how he got his energy.
He was like, I'm about to fucking run through a fucking brick wall.
And just would down like 10 fucking chili chili dogs.
Two to three chili dogs.

(07:41):
Long dog.
And just barrel ass dude and just take off like there was nothing wrong.
I was like, if I eat a chili dog, the boy is laying the fuck down.
Like, I can not move.
You're not zooming after chili dogs.
No.
I don't know.
You might be zooming to the shitter.
Like that's fast.
Get out of my way.
Yeah.
Like losing coins on the way.
That's me literally leaving a trail of shit behind me.

(08:04):
I'm like, oh my god.
But you know, that's how it is boys.
My first experience with Sonic was like at the, like the childhood,
orthodontists.
And they had an arcade room with all these,
just Sonic, joystick, fucking arcade game.
Yeah.
But there was this one.
It was like mechasonic.
And it was in this weird, like, subterranean sewage, metal, futuristic level.

(08:32):
And it was like, almost like gambling where there wasn't a level.
It was in a side scroller, Sonic.
You only went up and you had to collect as many coins as you possibly could.
Yeah.
And you just kept climbing up and up and up.
And I think I tried to find it.
And I think it was a fever.
I was going to say in today's, in today's episode.
Tyler's fever dream show when he was six.

(08:53):
Yeah.
And it was at the dentist.
So you know, they might have been like pushing their time to do it.
You know what they think too?
At the casino, they're pumping their room full of fucking oxygen.
At the dentist, they're pumping it full of nitrous.
It's a little bit goofy.
Now that I think about it was probably too high.
Because I used to have a lot of like dental,
as you read a sports illustrated from 1997.
Yeah.
Dude, you were, you're, I think he mixed it out.

(09:16):
I think you don't realize,
were you getting your teeth done at the arcade, but.
I don't know how you can.
Were you like, I got 15 tickets.
I got a cavity as well.
He's like, here's some dollar ranchers.
Just like the local bullies are tricking them in.
Yeah.
They're doing it.
They're doing it.
They're doing it.
They're doing it.
They're doing it.
They're doing it.
You guys never face fucked in an arcade.

(09:37):
That's possible.
I think I do think, but I, I remember getting into it.
Yeah.
I had the guy that did my braces was a little raping.
He's like, I'm going to clean your teeth.
I'm going to give you some laughing gas.
You're not going to feel the thing.
You're like, for cleaning out.
Yeah.
I mean, it's a little bit wider.
Yep.
A little bit wider.
And you're like, don't you use that like sucky thing?

(09:58):
So I don't have any saliva in there.
You're like, no, no, no, no.
No, we're using your sucky thing.
Yeah.
Actually, you know, a little wider.
Just a little bit wider.
Yeah, such a cool attitude.
That's beautiful, man.
Well, I'm glad, you know, arcade.
Have you read teeth, bull?
I should have read them.
Never had teeth full.
I had when I was a child.
I did get, um, I had a cavity and had a drill it out.

(10:21):
And it was like the most scarring thing in the world, dude.
I was like so fucking scared.
But like, obviously, like, they numb you up and they do all this shit.
They don't realize what they're doing.
But afterwards, the thing that piss me off the most is because like,
I, I mixed it up.
I thought, because everyone when I was a kid was getting their tonsils out.
And they were all like, it hurts and everything and hurts.
But you get the ice cream.

(10:43):
So when I got like cavity, I thought I was going to be able to eat ice cream afterwards.
No, no, no.
No, no.
They were like, you can't eat for like three hours.
And I'm like, bro, like, dude, I thought that's not that bad.
Well, no, I was getting how long it was.
Getting your tonsils out sucks, because it's like a two-week ordeal.
Yeah.
And you take like epicacker, like some bullshit to like, heal the infection.

(11:04):
But it makes you vomit.
So I don't, I'm not just, I'm, I think epic, I'm, I think epic, I make you vomit.
Because he let me think of it.
And I mean, that had the equivalent effect of epicack.
And I just remember, like having all these stitches in my throat,
just throwing it up and blowing it up and coming out and crying.
That sucks.
But I've had a bunch of teeth pulled and like, I had a two-scrow from the roof of my mouth once.

(11:29):
Like a street jar shit.
And I got like, yeah, this is a key.
Like a child's parents were like going in the mat.
He's a really good arcade.
Dude, if you need a good arcade, then just do you not know the guy I'm in.
He's got this Sonic game, I don't think it exists today.
No, but you're right.
I do remember like doctor's offices and stuff having like,

(11:50):
Nintendo's and shit.
And it was like tight for kids.
It was like, it's like the scary thing like to go do.
And then you got there and like, just play this tie.
We can play video games.
And then I'm gonna just rip your teeth.
That's why I think Ben is office and like, like, a adult doctor offices and shit.
Just have like many bars with like a single serving like little blinds.
Yeah, yeah.
Barbershops have it.

(12:11):
Barbershops, you can have a little nipple.
You get your haircut.
I don't even feel that getting cut.
People have been saying like, fuck owned a therapy that just go to their bar.
Well, now I got to haircut.
So you gotta go to the barber.
You gotta do, come on over.
Dude, I got a really good barber.
But anyway, do you not go to the barber for a while.
You know, the barber is back the day.
You know, the little spinny pole with the red and blue.
Yeah, white thing.
Well, like literally in like the early days of barbers.

(12:34):
They were your dentist as well.
That's why the red was there.
It was like a call.
Like you look it up.
It looks like tooth.
It's all the blood coming out of your nose.
So yeah, literally like that's like, your barber was your dentist.
Like back in like the 1800s or 1900s, like early, like shit.
They used to do like amateur fucking dental work and cut your hair.
You know, you go back far enough.

(12:55):
You go back far enough.
All medical procedures are just amateur shit.
Yeah, I think I know what I'm talking about.
Yeah, go see your blood.
Scraping cocaine.
Well, it's always like, it's always just the drunkest dude around who's just willing to do it.
I'm a doctor.
Yeah, I'll do that.
I'll do that.
Doctor.
Is there a doctor in the house?
Where is the fucking doctor?
Guys like pass out of the body wakes up.

(13:17):
He's like someone you rang.
Yeah.
Dude, I mean, it's all a griff.
Dude, snake hole salesmen.
I know.
They were probably the first doctors.
Every evening gets snake oil these days.
Internet internet.
Yeah, leaking gas station.
It's like all gas station on a dry nose.
Oh, yeah, this, yeah, this gas station CBD gummies.
Like what the fuck is that?
Do you guys ever smoke spice back in the past?

(13:39):
Yes, dude.
Dude, I, yes.
We talked about it before.
But yeah, I remember one time it was that I did.
Me, my ex, my brother and his wife at my house.
And it was like when it first came out and like smoked a ball of it with everybody.
And it was the most weird experience ever.

(14:01):
It was like everyone would just like stop talking and it was like this is not tight.
Like everyone was like, like I laid down and I was like, if I'm like, if I just laid down and they can't see me because I was like, I'm dying.
Like I was like, I'm just going to lay down and die on my bed and all these people are watching me die.
So like that was like the one and only time I ever did it.
And I was like, this is fucking weird.
I this boy, uh, R&P, my boy Tyler Jeffries, way back in the day.

(14:24):
Actual R&P is like an actual dead boy.
Sorry about that man.
It is all thing is wild man.
It was something to do with backpages the website.
Yeah, like his backpages.
Long second to the best anyways.
Yeah.
He was like in every cover home.
And he would go to, he'd be like, tie you got to take me to the gas station.
Man, I'll be like, fine.

(14:46):
With like pick a mile from his like recovery home, like take him to the gas station.
He would like buy spice and just like, like, it doesn't show up in drug tests.
And I was like, what is, what are you like you're in recovery for a reason?
Well, you do, yeah, like you don't need to get high on gas station drug.
And I was like, let me see what it's all about.
Don't die.
And I fucking like smoked a little bit of that shit and I was like, dude, like, it was just so

(15:07):
bleak.
It just makes everything like bleak.
And just like dark.
And I was like, this is not fun.
Takes a stranger rock bottom.
Yeah.
That's for me at least for Henry.
Dude, we've talked this story on the gas.
Henry fucking took a fat bonnrip of that shit.
And like when straight to Mars and has yet to return.
Oh, it was a long strike.
Was it spice or the salvia?

(15:28):
No, it was.
No, it was.
Savvius tight.
Well, Henry was literally called Jersey Shore Ron Ron Jews.
And it had a picture of Ron from fucking Jersey Shore.
And he took a bonnrip like a fucking kid.
Like you sure rock it.
He like milked it.
Like the smoke was yellow.
And dude, my boy, DA was like, oh, he's just basically dead now.

(15:49):
And he has never been the same man.
This was like 12 years ago.
I'm telling, I remember buying it.
I bought it at, I think it was a head shop where I got it.
And because I was like, I heard about it.
Like these guys I worked with were talking about.
It said I was like, finally like went to the, I was like, I'm going to get it.
And on the package, it was like, there was like this skull on it.
Like, and it just like with a flame on it.

(16:11):
And I was like, what the fuck?
I looked at the back and it said like, not for human consumption.
Like this is, it's in sense.
Yeah, it's popular.
Like it's supposed to be like, popry.
It's supposed to be sold like that.
Yeah, but that implies that something's supposed to consume it.
Yes, exactly.
So these things.
So that's exactly what I did.
And you do that shit was fucking bonkers.
I did it one time and never again.

(16:33):
That was like, it was an eye opening experience.
Southeastern.
I had my first psychedelic experience ever on South.
And it was like fucking incredible.
I went to the jungle book for hundreds of thousands of years.
I saw the owl, the fucking cosmos is just dissipated around me.
I was in the woods with a bunch of my boys when I finally came to from this fucking tremendous trip.

(16:55):
Everyone had their fucking shirts over the top of their head.
Like, corn holio.
They were like, they were like, we, I got to come on my mom.
I got to come on my mom.
Is that where you found the sonic game?
It's possible, man.
I might still be in it.
Take me on.
Yeah, both of them.
Yeah, both of them.
Do that.
Do that's bar.
Never sure to smoke that shit.

(17:16):
Now I'm here doing this podcast.
I really want to try salvia because I've heard really good things.
And then I've heard from people like, it doesn't really work.
And they're probably the boys that don't hold it in.
And you know that.
And then I hear like these like crazy cool stuff.
Well, you got to get the concentrate shit.
Yeah.
See, we had, when I did it, we had salvia just like,
I don't know the plant, like the leaves.

(17:38):
Yeah.
So we did that.
And it was just like, you smoked weed and it felt like he smoked weed for out of 15, 20 minutes.
And then I was like, this, that was fucking pointless.
Oh, no, we got this shit on the boardwalk in Ocean City.
It was like a hundred.
It was a hundred.
It was a hundred.
It had like three butterflies on it.
Oh, shit.
And like, it's going to go on flames.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I'll take a bunch of this for human content.
Yeah, this is tight.

(17:59):
It was like some Indian dude.
He was like, good luck.
Brother.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
At least he knew.
And like the first time we smoked it was like on a beach
to have a Pepsi can and like it didn't work because it was windy.
And I think we're all right.
So beaches, the hardest place to smoke weed.
It smoked anything.
I'm serious.
Like we were young.
I mean, 16, 17 years old.
I remember.
I remember.
I remember.
But then.
He's got it.

(18:20):
It's coming back on the other side.
Probably he's coming back on me.
Yeah.
He got to be careful.
But then when I like we got back from Ashdu City,
I got a bunch of like the boys.
We went into the woods with a Gatorade bottle and milked it.
And pass around twice.
And everyone was like, this shit doesn't work.
It wasn't the Saudi money.
He was a big, well, he was a big, well, he was a Gatorade bottle.

(18:42):
So I'm like, no plastic.
But actually, I'm telling you, dude, I saw the cosmic owl man.
It was tight.
Isn't that a, wait, it wasn't that from like adventure time or something?
They were his day cosmic owl and adventure time.
And there's like the dual, interdimensional war elephant as well.
Yeah, he's the guy who made that show just did a ton of things.
Pimilton's word.

(19:03):
Absolutely.
Yeah, he's been there, dude.
He's fucking rang the bell.
Who did regular show?
J. G. Quintel.
That guy's also been a shit ton of stuff.
Have you ever seen the pilot?
Probably.
It's like a black and white sketchbook flip,
like stop animation thing that someone uploaded onto YouTube.
Mordekai and Rigby are just like,

(19:24):
Gude up.
Yeah, right?
Right here.
Mordekai and Rigby are just like people.
I'm like, go to a movie theater and they drop LSD.
And they have this like insane trip.
And then they turn into the raccoon and the fucking virus.
So they're just boys that never came back.
Yeah, that's what it is.
Yeah, that's tight.
Yeah, that's tight.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You told me to watch it.
I love that show with the bat.

(19:45):
If you got into the Indian.
No, I made me cry.
No, I think it's true.
It's the best cartoon of all.
It is really good, dude.
The songs that it rip.
It's just so tight.
Fucking Gary too.
It is such an inspiration to just like,
just like, my musical existence that I didn't even know.
It was until we started just like making shit up all the time.
That like, that show just fucking ribs.

(20:07):
Yeah.
It was a boy got a show.
A boy got a show.
A boy got a show.
Yeah.
A boy got a show.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah, that's perfect.
Yeah, no, that's crazy man.
And like, saw it to the end.
Because like, they had a bunch of boys that I've gotten shows and I've like,
botched it.
But like, he like saw it to the end.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't see.
So I kind of slowed down because I was getting like,

(20:28):
just been to it.
500.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I like slowed the way down on it.
I visited every once in a while now and respect it.
But yeah.
It was crazy.
It's so tight.
Yeah.
I just remember the one where there was like a table or a bed frame or something
that was like a criminal or something and they tells me he's going to change his life at the end.
And you know, they like give him a job and they just have to do it in his job and they all just come and murder.

(20:53):
I take him in boy.
Yeah.
Like, guys, you could talk about any episodes.
It's like, what the fuck is that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I said, well, fuck the fuck.
The fucking like evil car is like,
no, govna.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's perfect show for any.
It's like the best types of shows are the ones that you can like just kind of like have in the background and then just like kind of lose it for a second.

(21:18):
But then all of a sudden like just keep it.
Keep back in and then something hilarious happens or it just keeps going.
It's like perfect.
It's like a handful.
There's a handful.
King of the Hills.
King of Hills.
Texas anime.
Dude.
I'm, you know, I'm fully sick.
It's fully, fully, it's a bit.
It's a whole bit.
I just want to make it.
I never got into anime as a kid dude.
Like, I don't, like, I even watched like Dragon Ball Z.

(21:40):
The only thing I did watch was Pokemon.
It's anime.
So that's anime.
That was the only thing I did.
But you're also like, you have the game and you're like,
It's my video game, but it shows.
Yes.
And I clicked the cards that I never have.
I never played the game.
Like, I never learned, cared to learn for how to like,
you know, actually play the game.
The card game on the video game.
The card game.
Oh, the card game.

(22:01):
Yeah.
No.
Like, I, like, actually, you're right.
I don't think I ever met anybody that was like,
They were like, I'm in a Pokemon tournament.
It's like, no, everyone just was like, I got a me who got a me who,
and I got a Charizard holographic.
It was about the money.
It was about, it's about your original rare fish investment.
Like, I remember certain trades of cards.
Where then you'd be like, Mom, I traded this for this.

(22:23):
And they'd be like, go get it back.
Yeah.
No.
How do you know, Mom?
Dude, I'll never get it.
Dude, because your son would be crying.
I traded this for this.
Dude, all right.
I traded this for this.
I traded this for this card.
So, 20 water and it'd be cards.
This kid I used to hang with was not the coolest kid in the world.
We went to this kid's house.
He was definitely like, special needs.
And the reason why we went over there is like, you know,

(22:45):
We had a play day, right?
So he and he had like the dopest Pokemon cards.
Like the shit everybody wanted.
It was always that.
Yeah.
And then my one buddy, like literally tried, like,
did the slide a hand thing.
And like literally, I think he stole his Charizard card.
And like, we went to Grand Marathon.
Yeah.
But we were like supposed to hang out for a long time.
And like the cable was like, my stomach hurts.

(23:07):
I need to call him on, I need to go home.
And so, like his mom picked him up.
And then like, I went with him.
And like literally when we got back to their house,
that mom called and like screaming over the phone.
And I've never seen a mom flip a switch so fast.
Like, she whipped his ass in front of me.
And he was like, yeah, this is tight.

(23:28):
And just beat his kids ass in front of me.
I'm like, god damn, this kid's a idiot.
And then like, like, even when I was a kid,
I like, you know, you know, you can't steal the Charizard.
He's like, I knew those monsters.
Do the dick.
And the kids like, obviously special,
and he might have been autistic or something.
And like, he's going to exactly know exactly where it was.
What page was?
What?

(23:49):
He was like, it's gone.
Yeah, like a meeting.
Like he's gone.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's not worth stolen.
I was still sure.
Members like where he left a skittle in 1990.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Now for sure.
He's still remembers what it tastes like.
He's describing it as we do.
He remembers Serge Kola.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Dude.
But yeah, I'll never forget that.
And then like, I went home.
And like, my mom, like, like, the lady told my mom what happened.

(24:12):
And my mom was like mad at me,
but then also not mad at me for she was like,
at least you didn't do it.
Dude.
Like, at least you didn't do it.
Like, I was like, no, man.
I was just trying to like hang out.
Like, I was there to hang out.
I didn't give a shit.
No idea what was gonna go on.
And I'm like, involve with like sketchy dudes.
I was like nine or 10 years old, maybe,
and I'm like Jesus Christ dude.

(24:33):
But the best part was his mom beat the shit out of him
for me, and that was sick.
That was so tight.
So I like child abuse.
Dude, just, yeah.
I don't know, no, that's come up and stuff.
That's like, I was so pumped.
I was like, yeah, you know what, that's a bit.
It's like, that happens today.
Like, you know, the mom would just be like,
my son never stole anything.
She's like instantly go to bed for the kid.

(24:53):
It's like, you know you're son to be a shit.
Right, she already is.
Why?
Because she's like countin' the binge of men's with me.
Well, yeah, it's like, you're all time thinker-discount.
This is enabling this kid like to be fucking jacked.
So keep going for it, right?
Yeah, no, that kid got, whooped.
But yeah, that was a crazy time in my life, man.
Nine years old.
Yeah, what a bargain though.
If you think about it, man.
Like, and then like, all that stuff is like coming back to,

(25:15):
like all those like retro stuff, like everything
is like, like, it kind of never went away,
but now it's like more than four front, like as we get older,
like now that we're like older and able to buy the shit
that we want it to back in the day, like,
we're like, I'm gonna afford to buy that now.
I can finally get a set of Genesis.
So, yeah, I bought a super Nintendo.
I'm probably gonna buy it.
I'm like, dude, like I'm buying an Nintendo S4 or something.

(25:36):
I'm like, I can buy it, but then now they're like,
like more expensive than like the PS5, dude.
They're like, dude, dude, some of these are going for,
like, well, they're going for like two,
300 bucks on the line.
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
expensive to the.
But still get a N64 for like 40 hours.
But dude, I think when they came out, I was like,
$199.
Now they're like, that's also $90.
You gotta remember that.
That's a $90 inflation inflation.

(25:57):
Did you can find some dang is it doesn't know what he has
on Facebook Marketplace or like,
the move is to find the state sales bud.
That or just like, keep refreshing Facebook Marketplace
and look for like a bitter mom who's child pissed them off
and you can get some video games on the street
for others.
So, your point to the state sales, like,
gotta find the kid that just killed himself.

(26:19):
Oh, fuck.
Get all his bullshit.
Got that cut.
That's it.
Now keep that in.
He's leaving that in.
But yeah, it's crazy, dude.
Like, he gotta be careful though.
Dude, he can't be stealing Pokemon cards.
He can't be fucking rocking your own checks.
Dude.
No, and you gotta remember like that charge,
our time was probably worth what like 600 bucks.
I remember that.
No, like, I remember like, we went to front row.

(26:41):
It was like, that was over a thousand.
There was like, there was one in like,
it was like, you know, I forget how much booster packs were about.
It was like, they're like nine or ten bucks.
Something like that.
And I kept buying booster packs and then I was like,
I wanted to charge art and then they had it in the case,
like under the glass and you're just like,
I think it was like $30 at the time
because it was like still early on.

(27:03):
So it was only like 30 bucks.
But then I was like, I told my mom was like,
I want that so bad and she wouldn't buy it.
She was like, I'm not spending 30 bucks
at least a card brand for like a fucking,
which she feels like a fucking idiot.
It depends, you know how all that grading shit works.
Yeah, yeah.
Or like if it's shadowless or first edition,
it'll be like, it looks like someone looked at the
type of cool.

(27:23):
You can't, yeah, it's 20 bucks.
It's like now it's not worth it.
I don't know.
You want the misprint.
Yeah, you do.
Misprints are huge.
Misprints are always worth more.
When I was a kid, my cousin on my mom's side from Tennessee,
bought me a booster pack, right?
Charizard's for Christmas.
It's like a $8 pack.
And we had been like hunting for Charizard for like three or four years.

(27:46):
Wait, was it like a joke pack?
Like one of those fake scratch off cards?
No, no, no, he just like bought me like a six dollar pack
of Pokemon cards.
He was like, yeah, I worked allowance all week for this.
Like Merry Christmas.
And I was like, oh, thanks man.
And like I opened it up and I'm scrolling through it.
Little him behold.
There it is.
There's a fucking Charizard.
All her out of shit.
All her graphic chart, like 99 base set, fuck it.

(28:09):
I still had, it's in a safe in my head.
That's, I know, I know where it is.
So tight that you got one.
So like, I mean, it's probably, it depends on who
wants to spend money on it.
Yeah, it's not the $250,000 logo in ball.
It's like, I could wear it as a necklace and just flex.
I could be tight.
But when I was a kid, my dad is like using the bathroom

(28:31):
on Christmas morten.
And I'm screaming.
I'm like, and I remember sliding it underneath
the bathroom.
And he was like, oh, he was like, oh, it's pretty cool,
but I'm taking a shit.
Leave me alone.
I'll come back.
I'll have some of my dad's like, New Yorkers.
I don't give a shit about it.
Leave me alone.
Hey, I'm trying to take a shit near.

(28:52):
Go help your mother cook.
So he like, slide it back on, it probably scratch like the back
of it's all scratching.
Oh yeah.
So we take it to front row just to like, I guess show it off.
I don't know.
Like, get a grade of it.
And like the guy's like, yeah, I'll give you like 70 bucks
for it right now.
And I'm like, it's not for sale.
You know, I'm not.
I'm not for sale.
I'm just like, try to be cool.
Well, I'm just like, no, it's like I'm not like, I'm just like,

(29:12):
it's literally not for sale.
And he's like, okay, whatever, then kid get out of here.
This dad and his daughter are there.
And this dad grabs my dad and he was like,
I will give you $200 for that card right now.
And my dad pulls me aside and he's like, boy,
he's like, son, and this little girl is crying.
Dude, and I remember it's very like,
crying.
He's like, Daddy, I went to Card.
Daddy, I need that card.

(29:33):
And my dad's like, my dad's like, hey, bud,
like, that's $200 for a fucking piece of cardboard.
And I was like, and yeah, I was like,
I'm just like, Tyler, do you know how many 30 packs
a beer I can buy $100?
$100.
Hey, you know how many govokools?
He's like, yeah, it's really, yeah.

(29:54):
It's like Tyler, I need my fucking Andy
for the goddamn poker game.
Yeah, exactly.
It's like Tyler.
That's like 14 big blinds.
That's whole.
And I'm like, man, not for sale.
And I just remember this girl just like,
screaming bloody murder.
And like the whole Pokémon, you know,
that's the flash forward 20 fucking five years.
That girl's like, probably saved her life.

(30:16):
Yeah.
Tyler, I was like, this is mine.
You can't have it.
No, you can't.
You're gonna learn a new word.
What's your mom?
No.
But this type of thing still happens.
Somebody posted on like choosing beggars on Reddit
where some, uh, much.
Uh, I'm gonna try to get this for,

(30:36):
some like, you've leader guy.
Yeah.
Pokémon nights every fucking Thursday, this, whatever.
And the guy went there and all the kids were like,
bring in your Pokémon collection, bring in like,
young kids, a guy always.
He brings in his Pokémon collection and has like 15 different
charers or so many different versions nowadays.
Like, one's, but he brings in like the fucking 99 base

(30:57):
set one and like the kids were like, whoa, like holy shit.
And one of the kids moms texted him and they were like,
hey, fucking little Jimmy said that you brought this card
and I would love to buy it for you.
I would love to give you like a hundred bucks for it.
And the guys like, well, I mean, man, to be fair,
like it's not for sale, the kids asked me to see it.
I just brought it in, showed it to all of them.

(31:20):
Like it's just not for sale and also by the way,
and then linked to like in the eBay thing.
It was like a shadow.
This one's probably like 20 grand.
Right.
He was like, I mean, this is like, how much it would be?
If it was for sale.
And she's like, that's fucking preposterous for a piece of cardboard.
Okay, $200.
And he was like, I mean, it's not ladies to sell.

(31:41):
Take a $20 bill out of your pocket.
You think that piece of paper is worth $20?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's really, really, really well, but.
And she did the conversation ended up being like,
she was like, you're a fuck.
I'm gonna send this, I'm gonna take screenshots
and send this to the people.
You're never gonna work at this place again.
And he was like, okay, he was like,
man, I've seen your son more than you have

(32:02):
in the past fucking six months.
Like, you can do this body, this fuck dude.
Just body and mom's dude.
That's what you gotta do.
That's good dude.
Yeah, keep him in the line dude.
Let's see, I'm telling you man, the fucking,
the whole bit there is great.
Like, if that girl, you taught her life lesson,
like, young lad, your dad was ready
to just be like, dude, son.

(32:24):
Your dad must have been not proud of you that day.
Yeah.
No, I think he can, he left the decision up to me.
Instead of being like, son, we're selling this car.
I was like, hey man, this is not for sale.
Hey, my dad's up, I'm not gonna think for myself.
It's awful parenting.
You should never give your children a power
to make a decision.
Yeah, I'm not gonna.
It's fine, it's not.
It's fine, it's fine.
So why don't you just get to Wilvren?

(32:45):
Yeah, which is a cold.
No, you're Wilvren, because you can't stay away from the buffet,
but you do.
I just can't imagine that.
That's another thing, dude.
I think that's the thing that it passed, too.
Buffets, China buffet, like,
any time we get to that, I mean, like,
all country, yeah, that was gone.
But like, the, the China buffet,
that's a now-one that's gone, like,

(33:06):
you just don't see him anymore, and like,
it's, it's, it's kind of nice,
because I used to be the guy that was there.
Oh, it was the guy.
I would go, I would go to a buffet, maybe.
Three times a year.
Yeah, treat yourself.
Everyone's a little wild, really punish yourself.
Go for it.
You're, you're, you're keeping the plate yourself.
Ten plates, you're like, I'm going to 10 plates today, boys.
And it's gonna be five of them, like, dessert.

(33:28):
I've been to a buffet with Justin.
It actually got shut down for human trafficking,
so the fucking China buffet.
I was like, yeah.
But I've, my boy has put back 10 plates
at lunch during a work shift.
Yeah.
At lunch, the rest, you might as well just take the rest
of the week off.
I think we did, you know, we did,
you're greased off.
That was the thing, it's like, as soon as you,
like, your lunch break was like two and a half hours long,

(33:50):
because I would come back, we would go
for like an hour, hour, come back, and come really hard
to just shit.
You're like, guys, and just be like,
oh, my God, I'm like, no, it's like not dude.
Not a job of fat dude.
Like we would crush it and I'll go back,
and I'm like, when we would have to like load a truck,
like you have to do like physical labor.
And like falling.
And like I'm like, I got low main coming out of my ears.

(34:11):
And I'm just like, Jesus Christ.
I got to do shit.
And I would be like, all but hurt and I'd be like,
I got to shit.
And immediately, I remember once I,
we were lifting the gate and I was like,
dude, I'm gonna shit my pants.
I have to go.
And then you're like, hold in this fucking bottle.
I'm coming back.
Dude, I'm gonna hit the butt.
I'm like, I gotta go.
I gotta go.
Well, dude, we, we would lunch got so egregious

(34:34):
that we printed, we took a picture of the fucking company toilet.
Printed it out and put it up on the wall
as a employee of the month.
Yeah.
For like six months in a row.
The hardest working person is this toilet.
And then the only other boy on that employee of the month
while was this deep dank there.
We're so it was like, dang space.
Yeah, we got dank.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(34:55):
Yeah.
It was dank space and then like six toilets.
Yeah.
We're like, you get February, but he was so pumped.
He was like, he took a picture of it.
He was like, he was like, he was like,
I'm a boy.
I made him build him.
I just would just, I would just print off a picture.
Well, I'm like his Facebook sent him.
We gave him the nickname.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
And he was a big, he's like calling him, just.

(35:15):
Yeah, he was, he was, he was a character.
I'll tell you that much.
We love Chris.
Chris, he was a love ass.
He's, you know what, he's a good shit man.
He's a good guy.
He's a good shit, but he's a good solid shit man.
It just got blessed and dude.
That's all I have to say.
He was tired man.
Yeah.
All right.
That caught you.
That dude.
Yeah.
Oh man.

(35:36):
That kid.
I remember when I make him tuck his shirt in all the time.
Joey, Jess would be like, you got, dude,
like make sure you tuck your shirt in.
He would be like, he would be like,
he would tuck his shirt in a little bit.
Like, no, I would make him like, I was like,
hey, I would like to text him and be like,
I need you to wear her dress shoes, slacks,
and make sure you tuck your shirt in.
We're a fucking warehouse job.
And he would come in and he would be like,

(35:57):
he would be checked out with like penny loafers
and then like, look for production.
And like beat out like the like in a punk rock bar
and I'm just like, yeah, I need listen.
I was like, that boy is a great listener man.
It was a great guy.
Yeah, he was.
He was actually really committed.
I still want him to do production for us.
He showed up man.
He showed up.
That's half the bad.
I think he's still showing up there.

(36:17):
You don't work.
Dude, I know we had to like, yeah,
was it him?
No, I wasn't him.
I don't want to get it.
Those are good kids man.
Like all those guys that worked with us man
and I loved him.
Oh, fuck you guys man.
I miss him but I wish him the best.
But yeah, dude.
I want to have a good station bone
and pills that guy has been in.
Like fucking dead dude.
God damn it.
Have you ever taken a bath?

(36:38):
Have you ever either of you,
have you ever taken a bath?
Yeah.
I've taken.
I got a white, I talked about it before.
I did the white Ryan is one time.
And banned.
It didn't work.
And then, no, I just took it.
Not at all.
Yeah, dude.
That is the ador.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, I don't have enough time for that dude.
I did that.
And yeah, I was all alone.

(36:58):
There's a whole thing.
I don't, every day is a school day man.
I wasn't suggesting it, but I was trying to.
I mean, I mean, I did, I mean,
he's taking his caffeine pills from them.
Like they have like little bees on it like wasps.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I would take this.
And I like, I do it because I was like,
I only like, why is my dick hard?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a good point.

(37:18):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just sold his caffeine.
Yeah, dude, I'm an idiot.
Yeah, well, I think this shit ton of shit.
I definitely done that.
Yeah, so yeah, it's, it's just a diagram.
Yeah, I, I like the first time learns it,
and I hooked up.
It was like a fucking beautiful tremendous experience.
And I got into my head.
I was like, I got to perform better.
And took like gas station dick pills.

(37:40):
Profits can only increase boys.
And it's like the second time.
So the second time we hooked up,
I'm taking gas station dick pills.
And it is like a wild night.
Yeah, but like my heart is like ready to explode.
And I'm like, I probably shouldn't be like the two of,
I think it is.
You guys are too.
I think you're supposed to space.
I took the packet, dude.
That took the pair.

(38:01):
I think you, I take it to two night thing.
Yeah, it's like, it's supposed to like extend them.
And like the next day, she was like, is everything all right?
I was like, actually, I was like, no, everything's great.
I don't think I told her until like three years in a row.
Like, yeah, I was like, so you know, like the second time.
Yeah, like I took gas station dick pills.
Dude, you know, it came out that those things
are basically just like overdoses of my agron.

(38:21):
Yeah, whatever the other one is.
I'm lucky I didn't fucking die.
You would have died.
She was like, why did you do that?
I was like, she was like, the performance was fine the first night.
I was like, I freaked out right.
See, you know, I got my head as a bear.
That will get in your head, too, when they're like, well, that's fine.
At the time, fine.
Fine.
It's fine.

(38:42):
It's fine.
It's fine.
Yeah, it's fine.
At the time, I was on, I had a prescription of five hands.
And that shit makes you fucking dick soft.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm tired.
I was banging with so many.
So that's it.
That's it.
That's it.
You knocked it out of the park, dude.
You really showed up the second time.
It ever since then, it's been kind of subpar.
So you're gonna show that to that.

(39:04):
So honey, can you go to 711 that?
Yeah, just yeah.
My brand is like the grill of Max.
We're gonna have a brand.
I'm on the loyalty program.
I get one more.
One more free voice.
Just covered in gas station boner pill.
Get a little card.
That's a whole punch.
Yeah, like the barberal merch.
But it's like, how many of those do you take, man?

(39:26):
Like nine boners.
You take the free.
Yeah, you're like, I'm fucking a lot.
Yeah.
Tom constantly just banging.
That would be fucking tight, man.
Dude, these fucking death metal boys are ripping next door, man.
Dude, they probably pop a couple grillers in Rhino.
Those guys are on the Rhino's.
Those guys are snorting Rhino's dude.
They're just popping them open.
Just railing.
Dude, taking gas station dick pills that are fucking metal.

(39:49):
That's what goes gotta be.
The gayest thing you get.
No, that's just called the starting dominance.
That was like, he's like, how do my way?
You wanna open up that pit?
Yeah.
Sounds like he ready to lose.
You wanna open that juice preshove, man.
Like I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, yeah.
It's guys just got a rock hard hog just running through the fucking circle.

(40:10):
Yeah.
But yeah, dude, that's bonkers, man.
See yeah?
Okay, so we're talking about boners.
Speaking of boners, how was NASCAR?
So NASCAR, I don't set them up for that.
Why?
Because fuck you.
That NASCAR, so I've always won, I've always been.
Black bearded.
Come on in.
I've been trying to get fired for weeks.
Dude, I'm telling you, man, I've always been like, it's been an interest of mine just to say for the spectacle.

(40:35):
I got like a mini tail.
Yeah.
It's like it was, it didn't have been about a two week ordeal.
It would took two weeks to get around the track.
Well, no, it took two days.
My boy Ryan Keith, friend of the show, asked me at the beginning of April I want to say it was.
You guys, are you going to go to NASCAR or be on my Elliott brother?
So then the whole month, I'm very excited about NASCAR.

(40:57):
I find it sad.
Yeah.
But I'm just like, I get to see cars go fast.
Like I've always been into like fast car.
My first car was a fast car.
And a lot of trouble with it.
So like, I'm every weekend.
The fuck.
Every weekend is a party for me building up to NASCAR.
And it begins with.
Because in Evan, every Friday like, hey man, let's meet up and get a drink or two.

(41:22):
And I'm like, I'm only good for one or two.
Yeah.
And it always ends up being like 10 or 12.
So the week prior to NASCAR is when we play that holy for wholeways.
And that the night before that ended up being like a fucking, because I was off the beers.
Yeah.
Like I've been off the beers.

(41:43):
So we're placed the beers with the Kiela sodas.
So it's my night's end.
It's been so good.
It's been so good.
Like it's been the place in like five or six beers with like six or seven to eat.
I'd actually worse.
Yeah.
And it's feeling weird.
Yeah, man.
So like the night before that holy for Holy Show.

(42:04):
Like dude, I got a show tomorrow.
I got a work in the morning.
I'm good for one or two.
Yeah.
No, they were fucking eaten tuna or tartar and fucking.
We're eating chicken wings after like nine tequila sodas.
It's a dox street and I'm like,
Woo!
And they got the juice box.
It's got like you can put your the tuna.
Yeah.
So we're blasting limp biscuit and I'm just breading up fucking.
I do every walks in that door.

(42:26):
Every day's NASCAR.
So then like every dude that's from saying my whole entire month is fucking building up for NASCAR.
So we play the show.
I'm hung over shit.
Drink like I had to drink like four tequila sodas just to even play that show.
It was a fucking blast.
Yeah.
It was.
So then the next week and after that show.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's it.

(42:47):
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
All right.
That's all this.
The next week and after that show, NASCAR's supposed to be that Sunday.
Right.
Saturday night having hits me having his like you good for one or two and I was like,
it can do it's been like a month.
Yeah.
Like NASCAR at the day is tomorrow.

(43:09):
It can only be one or two.
It's NASCAR eve.
I can't be.
Bro, we end up that fucking night we're hitting the fucking N****.
You still fucking like six in the morning.
Do we're so fucked up?
We're in tsunami's bathroom.
A public bathroom.
Plane swords with each other.
Like piss.
Yeah.
It was like a fucking night.
I was like, I think it happened again, but it never happened again.

(43:30):
Again.
It happened again.
It was like, oh my god.
That's awesome.
So Sunday morning.
Ryan Keith is like, bro.
Meet at my house at 7 AM.
I'm fucking serious about it.
And I was like seven and a half.
So I get like 40 minutes to sleep.
I wake up.
I text the boys and I'm like, my life.
I'm like, my life.
They're like, oh, my man.

(43:51):
Just like, get here.
Just go blast it out.
How do you want?
So I like fucking drunk drive to his house at seven in the morning.
Now, yeah.
From like the month prior, we get there.
It's pouring down rain.
Yeah.
And I'm like, there is no way there's going to be a race today.
So like it's Tom fucking drummer of Malewa.
Ryan Keith his wife Carson.

(44:12):
We get into Ryan's car and we start driving.
I was like, boys, I'm not fucking drunk in his run.
It's like, hell yeah.
Good.
It's good.
That's all we're going to ask.
And like, I'm like, I mean, it's rain.
And like, do they race in the rain?
And he goes, we'll probably see 40 laps.
Mind you, it's in Dover Delaware.
It's like a two hour drive.
That's really $80 a ticket.
And I'm just like, hell yeah, brother.

(44:35):
I'm just like, four to the last.
So I'm like, I don't know how long a fucking race is.
Like, you know, it's like 500.
I know.
So we get over the Bay Bridge to the Eastern Shore and Carson's like his wife's like,
they called the race.
So we're bombed.
Yeah, damn it.
What they call it.

(44:56):
Silly man.
Oh, no.
Anyway.
So you're getting over the bridge.
You're like, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're getting ready.
Roll in the ramps.
It's like, nine, forty five a.
Yeah.
The racist cancel.
I'm like, wow.
It's nine, forty five.

(45:17):
Yeah.
I'm like, where's the worst part of the story?
I'm like, we're on the shore.
Like, let's make a day out of it.
Yeah.
And the boys were like hell yeah.
And Tom's like, we keep apologizing at Tom because like,
it's like, so it's canceled, so it's postponed until Monday.
Yeah.
And Tom's like, I gotta get a work tomorrow.
And I'm like, so take the fuck off.
Yeah.
And like, he's like, I can't like hit my boss.

(45:38):
It would be like, I'm taking off for an ass guard.
Like bullshit.
Yeah, you can.
Or Brian's like, it used to be a national one.
Yeah, coward.
So Tom is like, all right.
Just getting on the bus.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So Tom is like, all right.
All right.
Text his boss fucking gets off work.
So then I were like, let's party about it.
Yeah.
There's no river for Mike anyway.
Yeah.

(45:59):
We get in around like 11 a.m.
We're the first people in this bar.
Like we sit down.
We tell them fucking bartender.
We're like, I do.
We were on our way to the race and it was canceled.
So she doesn't think that we're like in like, from town.
So I've noticed that they have natural light on draft.
So I'll order a tequila soda.
Suck it down in like half a second.

(46:20):
I like 11 and then morning at this time.
Right.
And I'm like, I'll just drink 90 lights for the rest of the day.
And she's like, do you want it with an old Bay brim?
Go full Maryland style with it?
And I was like, I look at Ryan.
I was like, do you this broad doesn't think we're from Maryland?
Yeah.
Like your foreigner.
And so we came up with this fucking bit like Charlie the day from.

(46:42):
It's always sunny in Philadelphia.
They're like, you never like, Tyler's never left there.
Yeah.
You know, I've never been scared to the bridge.
I was like, I've never been this far over the bridge.
I'm from a naplis and she was like, Oh, I can tell.
Oh, God.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
So I can tell you're from here.
Yeah.
I'm like, give me that.
Then that he boom.
Are that fucking old Bay brim?

(47:03):
I was like, no, what I was like, I want a J.O. room.
Fuck that old.
Hell yeah.
That's when you go.
Fuck yeah.
I'll take a rim job.
It's on the side.
It's on clean.
I'm sucking down.
I like covering an old Bay just like talking about.
Fucking being from Maryland.
And I think she goes, hey, around noon every Sunday when church gets out.
This couple comes in. We call them the blessed couple.

(47:26):
Oh, sure.
They come in.
They only drink wine.
They sit at that table right behind you.
And they just say to everybody that approaches them or whatever.
Feed blessed or like bless your heart.
So don't behold, this couple comes in.
Rhyme buys a maturing or round or whatever.
Also, sure, we're getting fucked up with drink in.
Fucking like 10 fucking nights later.
I get up and I turn around and since,

(47:49):
Rhyme bought him around, they're like, thank you so much.
So it's like be blessed.
And I hold this old one close.
And I put my mouth right next to her ear and I go,
God, it's good.
That's perfect.
So I want to sneeze on.
And they're like, say bless you.
How'd you say it though?
Where are you like, where are you like, God, it's good.

(48:11):
I think I put on, I'm like, I've church up the axe and a little bit.
And I was like, God is good.
And they, you know, praise him.
Praise him.
Yeah, yeah, it's huge.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So anyway, we go to Paul classic.
Like fucked up the rest of the day.
I fucking, we have up at Stan and Joe's at like 3 p.m.
You know, I just blacked out and I, I, I fall asleep,
I sure, but it's house.

(48:32):
I'm trying to wake him up.
I'm like we're going to go get some food, but you want to come.
And he's just, he's asleep the whole time.
He doesn't hear anything.
This is a guess.
So I'm trying everything to wake him up.
I'm throwing his dog at him.
I'm like, making his dog bark in his ear.
Like, the last kind of resort that I had,
I was like, what if I just like cracked a beer right next to his ear?
Like, I was really hoping that would work.

(48:54):
Because it's like, there's a video.
Just a video.
Just have video me pass out on a couch and fucking mat.
Rose goes take my beer.
I can wake up.
I think I have to be holding your legs.
You get like, tomato to cold.
You're a committed, committed cold.
But so he, well, before I'm just like,
All right, we gotta go.
We're just going to go eat food.
He just starts doing jumping jacks in his bed.

(49:16):
Like, not like, not snow angels.
His leg is getting air.
He's on his side.
It's going up.
Like what is this?
What is this?
I think I'm telling you leave me the bug alone.
Sleep.
See, you did that.
So, all right.
So then you go for that, girl.
So pass out like 5 p.m.
All that happens.
I wake up around like, I don't know if I would 5 a.m.

(49:37):
the next morning hurt dude.
Because it's been a month fucking preparing for an ass car.
The day it was supposed to happen.
It got canceled.
We got hurt.
I'm like, well, today's the day.
But I fuck.
So I go, I get in my car.
I'm not in good spirits anymore.
I like slowly drive over to Ryan's house.
I'm like, wait for me.
I'm like, hey, boys.

(49:59):
She's shivering.
She's shivering.
She's shivering.
Hey, boys.
I've ready for an ass car.
I'm like, yeah, dude.
Do you do this two and a half hours away?
You didn't have to drive, did you?
No, no, Ryan drove again.
That's awesome.
So we drive, we don't have to make you drive.
Dude, we go to a walk.
We bake like a couple of wild wild pit stops.
I get like, Tom's like, do you?
I'm hung over me.

(50:20):
This sucks.
I'm gonna get like a breakfast sandwich.
I was like, you're not hung over.
Yeah.
You don't know what hung over.
Dude, I piner.
Like the wild pine apple.
Yeah.
And I'm just like, trying to eat pine apple.
Dude, I don't know.
I'm like, and like, down.
Yeah, you're doing like a, like, like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm trying to, like, I'm trying to, like,

(50:41):
I'm trying to recoup some of these vitamins.
Yeah, dude.
Like something's gotta be.
Yeah.
We go to this liquor store.
I'm trying, I'm having the hardest decision deciding when I'm,
They buy like, yeah, two cases of Yangling.
Yeah.
And I'm like, looking at the cut water to Kiela soders or like a pack of
Delos, I was like, I think I have to drink beer today.
Yeah.
So I like, buy me Delos.

(51:02):
We get, we finally get to the track.
And I'm like staring at this beer.
And Tom's looking at me.
And he's like, I love your guns.
He's just a little laughing.
He's like, oh, dude.
And I was like, dude, I might puke like immediately on smoke.
Just slug that first one down.
No, fucker crack down, drink it on my, woo, we're at this beer.
What am I just telling you?

(51:23):
So, okay, this spectacle of NASCAR, was it tight?
Dude, it is, I kept saying this is like the Disney world of the racing world.
Okay.
That's not true, but okay.
So, well, you're wrong.
Eventually, I said that, I came to the conclusion that NASCAR is the in boss of capitalism.

(51:45):
People walking around wearing like $400 sick racing here with fucking, like, a tide low.
Go on the banana.
No, no.
NASCAR lost to the end boss of capitalism.
With NASCAR is capitalism is bitch because it's born out of, like,
just scurting the law, just like,
I'll talk you, like, we're going to do our own shit.

(52:06):
Food like that, dude.
Yeah, that's what it's born out of, and now it's completely corporate sponsored.
Yeah, it's everywhere.
Every square inch of that car is bought by somebody.
It's just perfect.
In boss of capitalism.
Capitalism is bitch.
Yeah, capitalism is.
It's like, yeah.
And it's like, you know, there's, like, the Bond villain,
and then there's, like, the, the henchmen that's just, like,
way, tougher than the actual Bond villain.
Yeah.

(52:27):
That's fucking NASCAR.
Yeah.
Well, we walked halfway to the fucking track without bringing anything with us.
Yeah, because everyone's still, like, everyone's kind of holding it.
But I'm just like, go on and Ryan's like, what are we doing?
And I was like, I'm following you all,
I'm never been here.
Yeah.
The last time I was here was like, 10 years old, and I was like,
I don't know.

(52:48):
I don't know what to do.
And he was like, we just walked like a mile.
And it looks like it's another mile to get in.
And there's like, lines.
And we were like, I was like, we should turn back and grab all this shit.
He might as well.
So we like, turn back.
I was like, all right, good practice.
Yeah.
So we go back. We like load up the over shares and like fucking we bought like,
Why was so I was at the second while went to tell my, all right,

(53:10):
we're probably like four beers in there.
I still not like just kind of getting back to baseline.
And we get in and there's just like vines and sausage fucking bowls.
There's just fucking, who needs fucking gas station boner pills.
Dude, yeah.
There is just like, it was, it was the coolest carnival I've ever seen.
And we're just like, whoa. And like the race had started.

(53:33):
So it's so loud.
It is fucking loud. So we're like, describe the smell.
The gasoline.
The gasoline in front of pig.
Dude, how did sugar?
Frot don't.
That's only in burning rubber and fucking melting cocky.
Dude, melting cocky.
That's just like, and I was just like, ponder.
And there's like,
Jake can't take pictures of fucking like all these famous racers.

(53:55):
They're in our house.
They're in our house.
We can throw them threes on the floor.
People dressed up as Ricky Bobby.
People dressed up as fucking Dale Earnhardt.
There's a guy called like, many Dale.
He walks around everywhere they're well.
Dude, he's the guy who's, I had never, no.
No, no, no, fuck that thing.
Like, he's just like, I'm fucking like, guy that dresses like,
No, well, he's not many.
He's like, he might not be tall still.
I mean, they're like, they're like,

(54:17):
Jack, he's like, no, it's a little bit smaller than normal.
Like, they're all like, time.
Okay.
You know, it looks up that.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
So I was like, tall there dude.
I was like, real tall.
You're like, you're like, Rudy.
It was like going to WWE.
Okay.
So that, yeah, there's a lot of butt rock dudes there.
It's my man.
But I was so.

(54:38):
It was around just the smell of gasoline.
I was so bummed that I didn't bring these pit fibers.
You know, if you were to see.
There was so, like, pits and mallets out there.
And I was like, damn.
You just don't.
So like, we try to find these things called trackers or traceers or something
so where you can like, listen into the drivers.
Oh, that's tight.
Dude, but in their $500 to rent for them.

(55:02):
What?
And I was saying in line, I was like, I don't think I'm doing this.
It's a buggy car.
You just said, listen to my shop.
It ended up, I was like, all right, you know what?
Since I'm here, fuck it.
I'll contribute.
Like, I'll throw a hundred bucks on it for like my pair.
Yeah.
The guys like, well, since COVID, you have to like pre-order
and Ryan's like, what else are we supposed to do?
Just like, though, those are, have years bleed.
Yeah.
Right.

(55:23):
The loudest thing I've ever seen.
He was like, now there's like your buds for sale over there.
So we bought like the shooters.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like gas can't be standard.
Dude, you put them on.
You can't hear God dams thing.
And Ryan was like, all right, guys.
So like, get ready to just like sit down and not talk to each other
for like six hours.
I was like, all right.
And you put them on and it's like, help.
And you look.
Whoa.
Interesting.
So then we stood in the fucking the craziest line I've ever stood in my life.

(55:46):
We finally get in.
We get our seats.
We sit down and bro, dude, to say how, like,
the race had already started right.
Right.
So we sit down, but they had already been a crash within the first three laps.
So which is tight.
So we sit down.
So they're doing like the residuals so they're like, get back up to it.
And then when the like the race is back on.
Dude, there's so many boys like, go, go.
I got caught up in and I'm like, oh, yeah.

(56:08):
You're like, you're like, this pump.
Yeah.
Cars just drive into a circle bro.
Like, they turned you short.
They're like, whoa.
This is tight.
And then I, with my camera, just to like, you know,
a document some shit.
Yeah.
And I fucking pan over to Tom's face.
And Tom's like, smile and crash right in between very behind Tom's head.
Crash.
And I was like, I got that off.
And we saw like five or six more crashes.

(56:42):
My boy fucking the hat that I'm wearing.
I only bought this here.
It is.
Yeah.
I wanted to talk about my fucking stupid hat dude Martin Truex.
Junior ended up winning the race the whole time.
He's in like almost last place.
I'm like, Ryan and Tom are looking over at me.
They're like, your boys really bad.

(57:04):
Yeah.
I'm like, I can't hear.
I'm like, where is your boy?
Yeah.
All the sudden he's in third place.
And now all of a sudden we're in this race.
Yeah.
I'm like, fuck it.
This is tight.
The first section is wearing like bads pro ships.
And they're all like, well, little boys.
Yeah.
Well, my guy gets to fucking first place and like holds.
And the last like fucking 12 laps.
Another crash.

(57:25):
And we're like, bro, like, I mean, it's tight to see a crash.
But we're like, he had it in the back.
So like, you know, they finished like 10 more laps.
And they count.
Right.
So, and they said he was in first when the crash happened.
Yeah.
So he starts in first.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But he did a pit change.
Yeah.
Well, no, no, dude.
And like, first tires on the road.

(57:46):
So it's cool because they do it in stages now.
So they'll do like a hundred laps and then like break for stage.
And like, and now's just coming out.
You can like kind of take a break.
Everyone's just kind of like, a coward ball.
Dude, I got like, what?
They stopped the race.
Yeah.
They do it in stages.
Wow.
It's really cool.
So cowardly.
It's really fucking cool, man.
Because it breaks it up.
Like, it's like a seventh inning stretch.

(58:07):
It's like, dude, like, yeah.
You know, I want to see how you get it.
You can like talk to your boys.
Like, you can be like, what's going on?
It's not as loud right now.
Well, also, dude, you know, like highway hypnosis.
That happens to him.
That's good.
Dude, I got to imagine way worse.
Well, I wish you 100 miles now.
You're like, no, I'm saying for the viewer, bro.
I was sitting there just like zoning.
I was like, I mean, I'm also like trying to still drink.

(58:29):
Right.
I'm like, what is happening?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dude, shout out to like, you're ASMR's street food.
Mine is fucking the mad scar.
It's out.
Well, with the, with the, in Thompson, they're dead.
Tom said that's why.
Yeah, didn't have his ear buds.
He's like, he's like, he's one of the, well, I was like, you're already deaf.
Yeah, you're so deaf.

(58:51):
Dude, he's a little badass.
Stop spraying the buck chemicals in your ear, Tom.
Dude, that's awesome.
It doesn't get you high.
So this is, this is something like inside baseball shit that I have now.
Like know about.
So the announcer gets on during like this break after the thing.
And they're like, all right, they're going to start with like,
six fucking laps left.
I know a couple people are going to take a pitch stop Martin and like Martin

(59:16):
Trich Jr.
And like this other guy, they've initiated only a two tire change out
that they've done before and it is paying off for them in the past.
And I'm like, I'm like, this thing is going towards the go.
I was like, I thought they always changed all four of this.
No, it's kind of fucking live on the edge.
So like, they changed to out real fat.
And the pit stops in person are fucking nuts.

(59:37):
You're like, oh my god, this boy's really fast.
Oh, dude, pit crews.
Yeah, holy shit.
That's kind of the most impressive thing of the whole fucking show.
Fucking timing.
So they take off.
He's like, he's in third place and he's back into first and fucking wins
to race.
And everyone's like, it's close to the two tires.
He's a genius.
Yeah.
He's a genius.

(59:58):
He's a genius.
He's a genius.
He's a genius.
He's a genius.
He's a genius.
He's a genius.
He's a genius.
We have a four-deck who's for coming on the flip of the fucking,
and he's only getting two tires.
They're like, sir, we can't rotate that.
We can't rotate your tires.
Sir.
That's fucking awesome, dude.
So I mean, and then like, you know, it's tight.

(01:00:19):
So you're like, drunk at the end of it.
You get back to your fucking car and the mud fields.
And if you ever left a Renaissance festival or just anything
with like 30,000 people during the park and the other
way, so we just put chairs around.
People are playing mob.
We start tailgating.
People were like, in their car sitting, like, do it.

(01:00:40):
That's the move.
Anytime you're at, like, like, like, a concert or anything,
you stay in the lot until the guys on the ATVs come around and say,
get the fuck out of here.
It's like standing up from the plain fucking lanes.
Yeah, you're not going anywhere.
They can't even get the lights or anything.
That's like the most, like, idiot, like, idiot, just hang out.
It's going to be a while with this.
Yes.
Guess what?
You're with it.

(01:01:01):
It's going to an ass car event.
It's like a 12 hour day.
It's a full day.
And it's why it's 48.
Yeah.
It was a, it was a murder.
It was 30 days.
It was 30 full fucking months.
That's so exciting.
You fucking prepared.
You know, every week, like, I think NASCAR,
since we got to do it, it's two weeks now, like,
like, some people train from their phones.
He's under the ass car.
I'm going to speak to you.

(01:01:22):
I drink 12 Models and didn't feel a goddamn thing.
I think by train, that's good.
That's what you wanted it.
That's what you were feeling a lot that morning.
Well, when I went very quick, when I went offshore fishing,
the one thing my dad told me to do is not to get hung over the night before.
This is like being out there, hungover probably would be insanely miserable.
So I want to tell all the boys out there thinking about going to her race,

(01:01:46):
do not be hungover for the race,
because it's about a 12 hour day of gas fumes, loud noises,
and sitting fucking down for half a hour.
It's all scouts motto, we prepared.
If you're hungover, be prepared for the hangover.
Yeah, and I may, I mean, they wouldn't have even known.
You went through it.
No one would have been here to do it.

(01:02:07):
You're a true prodigy.
You won that race, Bob.
I'm NASCAR!
Who do you think you are?
I'm proud.
That's sick.
That is so tight that you got to do fucking NASCAR.
I don't think I would get bored.
I'd be honest with you.
I feel like 20 laps, she's fucking cob boring.
I look at Tom, I was like, fuck this.
Yeah, I know, right?

(01:02:28):
Yeah, like after like 20 more laps, we were both zoned out.
Yeah, I think that'd be drunk.
60 more laps.
After 60 more laps, I was like, I understand what's going on.
Yeah.
Woo!
Yeah, I could just, the strategies to this shit.
Yeah, yeah.
Like at some point Ryan's just like, I'm sorry, boys.
Yeah, Ryan's up.
He was now this mild fucking bread.
I would be cool to go one time.

(01:02:49):
I would go once.
It's good to see drag cars or just like just a race.
Does that mean this capital race way?
Do they do the, don't they do the like F1 shit in Baltimore?
They used to, they used to do it.
They used to do it.
Yeah, they need to bring that back.
Yeah, that was Kurt.
No, that's a nightmare trying to get home.
I don't care.
No, but no, it means it's like to see that though.

(01:03:10):
That would be pretty sick.
Yeah, bud.
They say, it was a fucking tremendous day.
I got out for the bit, I bought the ticket in a cozy.
It's like a fine merch bro.
Dude, yeah, I'm not going to get $200.
It's sick.
But I was like, I'm not buying any merch, man.
Yeah, they can't get me.
What you did by the jacket?
No, Ryan did.
Oh, of course.
I went home and bought like fucking really, I almost wore it.

(01:03:32):
Fucking for the fuck.
I'm not a beard.
Yeah, no, we're going to jam.
We're going to jam, dude.
That was fucking tremendous.
Yeah, that was a 50th anniversary.
We've been at this for 50 years, boy.
Congratulations for all this fuck.
We're fucking 50 years.
100 more years.
Yep, now.
100 years.
Well, careful out there.
Boys make sure, you know, check your heads.

(01:03:55):
Shave your heads.
Head on man.
Get out there, baby.
It's a little PSA real quick.
If you have right of way, don't fucking yield that shit.
All right.
Just keep your right away.
Stay in the course.
Play never yields right of way.
Never.
Yeah.
It's a PSA for today.
And that's a heavy rib.
What is this?

(01:04:22):
This is a best volume five or four five.
I think it's five.
I think I came in on what 44.
This is a best volume.
I think it was 44.
It's might be six.
No, I came in on 43.
Bish volume nine.
Yeah.
I don't know.
One of you out there checking the records posted in the comments.
Good night, people.

(01:04:43):
Enjoy your nights.
You know, make sure you wipe always wipe.
Wash your hands.
Double PSA.
You don't get that every day.

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The only strength
To follow me
The only strength
To follow me

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The only strength
To follow me
The only strength
To follow me
The only strength

(01:24:41):
To follow me
The only strength
To follow me
The only strength
To follow me

(01:25:06):
The only strength
To follow me
The only strength
To follow me

(01:25:28):
The only strength
To follow me
The only strength
To follow me
The only strength

(01:25:53):
To follow me
The only strength
To follow me
The only strength
To follow me

(01:26:17):
The only strength
To follow me
The only strength
To follow me
The only strength

(01:26:40):
To follow me
The only strength
To follow me
The only strength
To follow me

(01:27:03):
The only strength
To follow me
The only strength
To follow me
The only strength

(01:27:26):
To follow me
The only strength
To follow me
The only strength
To follow me

(01:27:47):
The only strength
To follow me
The only strength
To follow me
The only strength

(01:28:10):
To follow me
The only strength
To follow me
The only strength
To follow me

(01:28:32):
The only strength
To follow me
The only strength
To follow me

(01:31:52):
I made all this hatred of?!
I don't leave it anyway for the entire channel.
I'm not going to stop booze
just because I did nothing about it.
The pain didn't finally stop beating that bastard.
Two days later, I was stunned by these de prevalent solenoid pulls at me.
But I knew it, right?
But they're not doing what they believe in this potential.
If no one stabs you into a monster, I won't give you a little more kissом!
�!
That was pal, too.

(01:32:12):
Speaking of AE
That was nice.
Is that a little bit?
Yeah.
That was nice.
Yeah, that was nice.
Yeah, that was nice.
That was nice.
Bye.

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Nascar on Salvia, Pokemon Cards, and Heaven's Gate - Episode 50

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Nascar on Salvia, Pokemon Cards, and Heaven's Gate - Episode 50